Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

An unofficial rule of college was you keep the seat you choose in your first lecture and you stay in that seat until the end of the semester. Or at least it was a courtesy; after just one month here I could tell. We were creatures of habit anyway and this was just another example.
That’s why I’m surprised to see someone in my spot on Monday. It was October, a few weeks into freshman year. My seat stealer wasn't new and I knew that because she sat behind me, third row seat four. Right in the middle.
She didn’t participate a lot, the only reason I recognized her was because she always had her head down on the table like she was napping before class. But during class, anytime I stole a glance, she was scribbling away. That was the other reason I noticed her: she didn’t have a laptop like most of the class. Like me, she took notes by hand.
I take the seat right next to her despite several empty seats around her. Maybe now was my chance to get to know her a little.
I throw her a smile when she side-eyes me but a scowl forms and she goes back to turning the pages in her notebook.
“What?” She bites when I guess I stare for too long.
"You're in my seat," I say.
"It's first come, first serve, last I checked," she responds. So she was sassy apparently.
I point behind us. "But you sit over there."
"Where?"
"Third row, in the middle.”
"So?" She looks at me now, really looks at me, her eyes set on my face despite the flush creeping onto her cheeks.
"It might be not assigned but...that's your seat," I say.
She turns to the front. "It's a college class not high school, dude."
"Well respect the unofficial seating chart, dude."
She doesn’t respond, I wonder if I took it too far. Everyone I knew said I had a tendency to do that. I couldn’t help it; sometimes my mouth didn’t know what was good for it.
The professor walks in a few minutes later and class starts. It was a normal Monday, except I wasn't in my seat.

***

Your POV:
I arrive to my Monday class early. It was October and I had a rhythm going in my schedule. Sometimes I feared that if I stopped for a moment too long, I would completely collapse and lose all momentum.

College was hard, it's wasn't news to me but working a part time job with a full time course load had me running on fumes most days. And it was only October. I had 4 years of this.

On Mondays I had a morning shift at a coffee shift nearby. I'd found it after wandering the city the day I moved in. My mom had driven me up here, she hadn't stayed too long. To be honest, I had sighed in relief when she left. I embraced the freedom spread out in front of me like an old friend, despite never knowing her.

Walking around that day, I had seen a hiring sign in the store window and applied on a whim.

I never thought I would actually get into Colombia despite all my hopes and dreams. Somehow I'd been the only person in my high school who received not only acceptance but a scholarship that covered most of my tuition. As long as I kept my grades up.

But that left me to pay for housing and everything else out of pocket. My family wasn't really in a position to help me so I knew I had to find work. The one in the window felt like a literal sign.

I knew what hard work was, I'd seen it growing up. It was the only thing I heard about too. So working a shift and going straight to class after was a given for me.

My shift at the coffee shop left an awkward amount of time on Mondays, too short to go back to my dorm but too long to show up to class if there was another lecture before it. Usually I grabbed a snack and came to the previous class leaving, or walked around campus. Today, feeling especially tired, I'd just grabbed a coffee and sandwich from work and took it to class.

I sit in my usual spot in the third row and set my head down. If I was lucky I got in a nap sometimes.

I wake up a little while later to chatter, a few people had arrived to class. I take an overflowing sip of my coffee and blink myself awake. I had to stay alert even though my eyes begged me to rest.

My eyes hover at the front row; I had to sit there last week because my contacts had fallen out when I got too close to the oven at work. They’d burned my eyes and I couldn’t go back to my dorm for a new pair.

I remember the guy who’s seat I took. He was asshole enough to sit right beside me. Or maybe he had a point, maybe I was the asshole for taking his seat but he annoyed me. I knew rich frat guys like him and they didn’t intimidate me. He even had the nerve to smile at me when he sat beside me.

Thinking of the devil, I don’t notice him walk in until the seat directly beside is pulled out. I look up to his face.

He smiles that infuriating smile again.

"It's only fair," he whispers as I take out my notebook.

"Fair's subjective," I pretend to be more annoyed than I was. I didn't want him to think I liked him or anything. But he was right, it was a fair move. He was only copying me even if it was petty. He probably had too much time on his hands being so rich.

"Good sport." he says condescendingly. The annoyance becomes more real.

Class goes on and after it's over he stands up and gathers his things.

"I'm Harry," he says before I can walk off. I debate giving him my name, and decide there was no harm.

"Savannah," I say and walk off.

A week later I get to class and my seat is open. He's in his usual seat. I'm almost disappointed our interactions were over. Almost. He'd been an interesting addition to my usually exhausting Mondays. I don't talk to him or look at him.

"You've been avoiding me." he whispers the following Monday.

"You've been imagining things," I answer.

"Nobody was in my seat this week." He doesn't sit beside me. I notice his things are waiting for him in his seat at the front. "I thought we had a thing going Savannah."

"You wish," I roll my eyes.

"Maybe."

I'm quiet after that. I feel flustered.

***

That Friday night, I'm sitting in my dorm room alone. My roommate went home for the weekend.

I wondered if I should call it an early night, I was tired from the week. But then I think of how pathetic that was. I'd been counting down to college since I was 12 and I couldn't just waste it away.

I check the group chat called Colombia Caterpillars.

Party at SEp supposed to be big, meet at mine around 8?

It's sent from Kelsey. She was big into this sort of thing, although nobody would be surprised. She was one of those hundredth generation legacies, it was in her blood as she said. She was rich, and privileged, just like most of the girls in the group chat.

There was 5 of us total, I almost feel like a fluke being in there. But in the first week of class I was trying to find a stats class and winding through a maze of hallways when I kept bumping into the same girl. The third time is when we acknowledged each other, and realized we were both lost.

We were 20 minutes late, but we'd bonded while walking through the hallways. Even though we didn't have much in common we just talked about our first week there. In class she'd introduced me to Carmen, an old friend of hers. She invited me out after class and that's where I met Jasmine. Turned out Jasmine and I had Psych together and that's where we met Elena who I recognized from another of my classes.

Somehow we all grouped together, and even though I declined a lot of invitations from them because I was so busy, it was always fun hanging out with them.

I grab my shitty bike from storage downstairs after finding something to wear. My bike was my safe space on wheels, it’s how I got around everywhere, saved money on travel, and got to air out my thoughts. I was saving for a better one.

I ride the couple blocks to Kelsey’s dorms which were just as old as mine but unlike mine, she had made hers cozy and pink. When I get there the rest of the girls are already gathered inside; Kelsey and Jasmine shared a dorm, Carmen is straightening her hair and Elena is tapping away at her phone trying to find a good song.

"Finally," Kelsey says when she spots me in their open doorway. She wriggles her hands and I walk towards her. "Sit, I'm doing your makeup."

"My makeup is fine," I lightly push her brush away.

"You have nothing on." She pulls out eyeliner and threatens me until I sit.

They start talking about which houses they were rushing. All the girls in this room were so into the Greek scene, they were doing everything you were supposed to do in college. That’s why befriending them was the best thing that could have happened to me to come out of my shell. I would definitely be in my dorm right now waiting for my roommate to get back.

"Theta's doing a fundraiser next weekend," Kelsey says as she starts on my other eye. Theta was where her and Carmen were pledging. They were both legacies. The other two girls were pledging for DG and either Theta or GPhi. They kept trying to convince me to pledge but I was still uncomfortable at the idea of bidding to be chosen to be a sister. "We should go."

"Not like it'll help us," Jasmine grumbles.

It was known that Theta mostly picked based on legacy and social status. Jasmine was a Gphi legacy. Elena was the only other girl in the group who didn't come from legacies.

"It might!" Kelsey says with her privileged optimism. "Anyway it's better you show up."

"We all know you'll get recruited," Carmen tells Kelsey.

"You too Carm," Elena pipes in. "Your sister was a Theta."

"Before she dropped out," Carmen rolls her eyes. "Probably doesn't help my case."

A debate about sororities and a dozen outfit changes later, we're all ready to go to the party. I leave my bike at Kelsey's dorm and we walk to the party which you can hear before you can see.

"I wonder how long before it's busted up," Elena comments.

"It's gonna be fucking awesome," Kelsey says. “Who knows girls maybe we’ll get lucky.”

Me and Jasmine exchange a glance, Kelsey had pregamed a bit too much at her dorm and she had a habit of blacking out soon after.

The party is packed with bodies. We all grab drinks and mingle around. Most of the guys here are gross as we pass by them but Jas is enticed by one of them--I think he might be in our Psych class too. Elena confirms afterwards that he was, I guess she's been talking about him all week. I'd been mia this week.

After a few drinks and some dancing I feel myself really relax, all that's left of us is Elena and me. I wonder for a brief moment while I'm in the restroom if Kelsey was okay but Carmen said she would take care of her.

When I get out of the restroom Elena's disappeared. I text her, and wait ten minutes before stuffing it away and heading deeper into the house.

It’s weird how many strangers are here. I only went to a couple parties in high school but I was used to knowing most faces. Here I kept running into new ones.

I circle back to the front by the time I’m done. I check my phone again but there’s no messages.

“Hey!” Someone screams at me as a hand comes down on my arm. “Elena?”

Carmen’s shouting at me, half-twisting out of the crowd. I follow the arm connected to the crowd and it’s clutching a t-shirt. One foot up and I recognize the face. It’s the guy from my writing class, the one who thought I took his seat as a game. Harry.

For a second he looks surprised. Then his mouth stretches into a lazy smile. Carmen barely notices.

I break eye contact with him, what a dick.

When I don’t respond to Carmen, she lets go of Harry and goes up to my ear. “Elena’s with Kelsey, she’s in the restroom if you know what I mean.”

“Oh!” Kelsey had hit her limit. “I might head home then!”

“Why?” She grabs my shoulders. “The night is young!”

“I’ll go find them, maybe take them home.”

Carmen pats the side of my head. “You’re a good friend.”

I hoped she would be okay. Maybe she’d go home with Harry, I reckoned between Carmen and Kelsey, Kelsey was the one to keep an eye out for at parties.

I find Elena in a bathroom and we help get each other home. Apparently Jas had told them not to wait around for her. The three of us weren’t getting lucky tonight.

***

“I’m s’posed to go home for Thanksgiving,” I say even though I would rather eat hot coals. Imagining sitting awkwardly at the table while mom tried to engage me in small talk about college and my dad sat miserably like he had since I was 12.

“Aw c’mon it’s on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Just be back in the city for it!”

“I ain’t flying four states just to fly back two days later.” Elena mutters. I admired her for being so nonchalant about not wanting to spend frivolously. I always avoided the topic of money, too insecure about it.

“I will literally pay for your ticket back. We’re the Colombia Caterpillars we have to show up together!” Kelsey tries her best to convince us.

It was weird how two months ago I didn’t know these girls. They were complete strangers. But in just a couple months we’d bonded so strongly it’s like we had known each other for years.

“Sorry,” Elena backs out. “My mom’s a freak when it comes to holidays and she expects us all to commit to the family the whole weekend.”

“Me and Jasmine can make it,” Carmen says from her bed. “Our parents are going anyway so we’re invited.”

“Well Sav's my plus one. Elena we thought you could be Jasmine’s.”

I hadn’t even committed to the date yet but don’t say anything just yet.

By some stroke of fate, mom calls me a couple days later.

“Hey hon, I know you were supposed to come down for Thanksgiving but your nan’s sick again.”

“What happened?” My nan had been in and out of the hospital since a surgery last year.

“Pneumonia probably. Your dad’ll be around but he’s thinking of coming with me if you’re not coming over.”

“Oh, tell him to go.” Somehow this was working in my favour. Poor Nan though. I promise to call her on Thanksgiving so I could talk to nan too, and we promise each other Christmas.

I feel a pang of homesickness then, weirdly I hadn’t felt it since my first week but this was my first major holiday by myself. It would be weird.

But that night my roommate Galina and I talk about Thanksgiving plans and she invites me to her childhood home in New Jersey. She had like 6 siblings and insisted her mom wouldn't care for one more seat at the table.

I tell Galina I’d come, I didn’t feel like being at school alone.

***

“Show me what you’re wearing?” Kelsey asks over the phone. “I just wanna make sure we don’t clash.”

“Oh um,” I pan down to the tan-coloured dress I had found last minute at a mall this morning. It was a midi and drapey, but I still felt compelled to wear a sweater just to cover myself. I felt like a fraud dressing so fancy and going to an event like this. I was just Savannah from a suburb in Maryland. I didn’t run in these circles.

Kelsey assures me she had a shawl that would match my outfit. And when I get there I feel even more out of place. I have no idea where to go, and I simply follow Kelsey in a daze. We hunt down our other friends and find the seating chart.

There are so many glitzy dresses, silk, diamonds, perfectly coiffed hair, and perfectly tailored suits. All I see are reasons I don’t belong.

“Don’t you love coming to these?” Jasmine asks me. “It makes me feel so adult.”

“Sure,” I mumble. Did Jas not realize I never went to these sort of things?

“I heard there was this French modernist exhibit they did in Baltimore for a week last summer. They raised a bunch of money cuz some celebs got involved. Did you hear about it? I would have died to be there, that guy from Gossip Girl was there.” Kelsey asks. I don’t know if I hid it well or they hadn’t caught on that my life revolved nowhere near this type of scene.

“Here,” Kelsey doesn’t wait for me to respond, grabbing at a waiter nearby and pushing a flute of champagne into my hand.

“Are we-“

“Nobody cares,” she whispers. “Just don’t get too drunk yet.”

“Yet?” I whisper.

“The kids usually do an after party. Parents are out this year it's at the Waldorf, at least I heard that's where it is.”

“Wow,” I act like I know what that was but I had no idea. I didn’t know anything about this life.

People mingle with their drinks and finger foods.

“Hors d’oeuvre,” Kels corrects me. She picks up a mini toast with colourful strands draped over. “It helps you not get too drunk right away.”

“Sure,” I shrug and pop one in my mouth, nearly swearing. It was hard as a rock.

“You ok?” She says but heads towards another waiter with a different hors d’oeuvre. I pass on the rest. I didn’t want any more surprise foods.

That’s even more painfully apparent when we’re seated. There are three tables spanning the room, end to end. The room itself is gorgeous with high ceilings draped in greenery and gauzy curtains. One wall is mostly windows, and beyond it looks like a rooftop but the reflections make it hard totell. I'm sure it was a gorgeous view.

“Psych boy is here,” Jasmine leans in to us as we walk towards our seating. “I found out his dad owns this hot shot gallery so he’d be here. I’m switching seats with Shanice.”

“You’re ditching us?!” Kelsey rolls her eyes. “We’re supposed to be—where the hell is Carmen?”

None of us had realized but Carmen had disappeared.

“Nevermind,” Kelsey gives up. " Let’s just get to our seats, sometimes they have cool gift bags.”

Free stuff? I was down.

We’re not quite in the middle, but closer to the back of the room than the front. Kelsey takes offense but I’m just happy to find a seat with my name on it in such a fancy place. I rub my thumb over Savannah, as awkward as I felt this was really cool.

Kelsey squeals over whoever sits beside her, she introduces us but I barely register the name, just that it was a brunette guy in a blue velvet suit. I give in to the urge to pull my phone out for comfort and I flick through a few apps, respond to my texts, and put it away. By then people around me had sat down. I try to smile at Shanice, we’d met in passing, but she’s in a conversation with someone standing across from her and I don’t want to make eye contact with too many people just yet.

I make an excuse for the restroom and take a breather.

People are settling in when I get back and pretty soon the emcee introduces the person throwing this whole thing. They say something about philanthropy and giving thanks and new york city. I just keep taking small sips of my champagne and try to act like I understand the jokes they crack. I never knew certain jokes were only accessible to a specific tax bracket.

I begin to sweat when the first course comes out. There are at least four spoons and like, seventeen forks laid out in front of me and I have no idea what was what.

I glance to my right and left but both people are too involved in conversation, their food is untouched.

I look up at Carmen, but she’s touching up her lipstick using her phone and talking to someone beside her. I glance at him and do a double take, before flushing and looking away.

It was the guy from Monday’s class. Harry. He’d been with her at the party too. And he was looking at me when I look up.

I act like I’m laying out my napkin across my dress to play it off but damnit could someone pick up a spoon so I knew how to eat this damn soup! Cutlery should not be this confusing!

“Kels,” I whisper but the volume of conversation in the room is too loud. I look at Shanice but she’s only just getting around to laying her napkin out.

Someone clears their throat really loud and my eyes move towards the noise. Harry. He looks at me and then glances down at his spread, picking up one of his smaller spoons, the second one. He hovers it over his soup and I look back up at his face.

Something unusual comes over me when we make eye contact and it’s so strong I could feel them get misty. I felt like both an outsider and an insider; outsider in this bizarre place, but between us I felt included in a shared something.

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly before he turns back to Carmen who’s talking to him, none the wiser of the moment exchanged between us.

I blink my misty-eyes dry and do as he did, hoping he wasn’t some asshole trying to out me as an outsider. But as I start on the soup the people around me begin to pick up the same small spoon. I want to thank Harry but he doesn’t look at me.

The soups are cleared and a salad is brought out. How fancy—usually it was soup or salad. I watch Harry pick the last fork on his left and I copy him.

“Sorry,” Kelsey turns to me for the first time since we were served. “Noah just came back from backpacking all over Europe and Asia.“

“Oh,” I nod.

“Noah?” she points back to the guy in the velvet suit. “I just introduced you guys!”

“Sorry?” I grimace. “I was kinda overwhelmed with all the new faces.”

“Ugh sorry, I feel like a bad friend.” She picks up the same fork as me and stabs her plate. “Noah and I have known each other since diapers. I just haven’t seen him in months and there’s so much to catch up on—oh hey Carmen made it back. Carm! Where’d you go?”

“Huh?” Carmen turns at her name. “Oh I was just uh taking a call outside.”

I notice Harry smirk at that, she was a bad liar. But Kelsey doesn’t seem to notice. “Harry. Long time, how’s it going?”

“Good,” Harry leans closer to get his words across. “Just living life Kels. How’re you?”

“Good.” Kelsey is oddly curt with Harry. I’ve never seen her be anything but friendly that I have to glance over at her. She stabs her salad again.

“Good,” Harry flashes a smile, his dimple making an appearance. He was good looking, but he knew it. I always had mixed feelings about people who knew too well how good looking they were.

“Glad we’re all good!” Carmen interrupts. “Hey where’s Jas?”

“Over there,” Kels waves to the front of the table.

“Savannah right?” Harry says suddenly. Not expecting to be pulled into the conversation I lower my forkful of leaves.

“Yeah that's Savannah. Sav,” Carmen answers for me. “D’you two know each other?”

“We have a class together,” Harry says, his gaze never leaving mine.

“Yeah,” I feel like I have to say something even if it’s a lame yeah. Why was Carmen speaking for me?

“Well Lena is really smart so leave her alone in class. She doesn’t need any distractions.” Kels pipes in.

“As if Harry could distract Lena,” Carmen says and I don’t quite know how to interpret it. I start to suspect that Carmen was a little possessive of Harry. It didn’t seem like they were dating. I wondered what it was, maybe I should ask Kels.

“He’s tried,” I decide to speak up. I couldn’t let everyone talk for me.

Harry flashes me a smile, a hint of an inside joke somewhere in it. I roll my eyes but can’t stop the hint of a smile peeking through as I look back at my salad.

“Harry’s such a player.” Kelsey comments.

“You can say that again,” Noah—Kelsey’s seatmate mutters loud enough beside her. I’m not sure if the other two heard but I turn to her.

“There’s a story there,” I say low enough for her to hear. “That you’re gonna tell me.”

She looks at me with a very un-Kelsey look. “It’s a pathetic story. Maybe when we’re both very drunk.”

I hold my pinky out to her below the table. It puts a small smile on her face and I call that a win as she links hers with me.

The next course is served, I’m pretty sure there was risotto and chicken, until Shanice corrects us.

“It’s duck,” she tells Carmen who’s picking at her plate.

“I’m thinking of going vegetarian. I don’t think I can eat this.”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve been hearing that line since we were 14,” Noah comments.

“Pretty sure it was even younger.” Harry joins in. I guess they all knew each other. “After we watched Charlotte’s Web in middle school.”

“Oh I remember that!” Kelsey laughs. “I think that was the first time.”

“It’s because Harry told her what it really meant,” Noah leans forward. “Her pickiness is all your fault.”

“Blame Dakota Fanning,” Harry says. They all laugh and I feel left out until Kelsey bumps my shoulder.

“He was obsessed with her. He had a photo of her in his desk. and Googled her during computer class.”

“Really?” I look up at him and he shrugs. “For me it was Josh Hutcherson in Bridge to Terebithia.”

“That’s sick,” Harry says.

“Hey he is cute,” Kelsey agrees. “Team Peeta all the way.”

“But she had an awakening in the tragedy that was Bridge to Terebithia?”

“It’s funny you bring it up because I remember crushing on the teacher in that movie.” Noah mentions.

“Ooh who was that?” Carm asks as Harry echoes how sick we were.

“I barely remember that one,” Kels says. “I don’t know if I even watched it.”

“You probably didn’t,” Carmen says.

“Your parents would not have let you watch it.” Noah agrees. I didn’t know that about Kelsey’s parents. I wonder if they were here tonight.

“Oh the girl from New Girl?” Carmen says after looking it up on her phone. “She is hot.”

They begin to discuss New Girl and I tune out, taking a few bites of dinner. It’s actually delicious.

“So you come to these things often?”

I glance up and realize Harry’s talking to me. Carmen’s stretched over the table trying to get her phone from Noah and Kelsey is laughing at something on the screen.

“Obviously,” I reply drily.

“Obviously. You look like a natural to me,” he waves his fork at me. “Fit right in.”

“Thanks,” I say with a shared smile. Really I want to say thank you, but it felt too formal for something he’d done so casually for me.

“I see these people all the time,” Harry leans closer. Since Shanice had left her seat I’m able to lean over to hear him better. “It’s nice to see a new face.”

“You see this face every Monday,” I remind him.

“It’s even nicer on a Saturday night.” His voice is low and velvety in my ears and I’m entranced by his eyes as he keeps eye contact.

Don’t blush, do not blush.

“What’s going on?” Carmen’s finally back in her seat and she glances between us.

“Huh? Nothing.” Harry sits back as his plate is removed. He looks at me long enough for me to mouth player before I look back at my plate leaving. I’d miss that meal.

The next meal is even better, and this time I’m able to observe everyone else picking up the correct utensil.

“Who the fuck needs this many forks and spoons,” Harry comments. Carmen says something too low for me to hear. He just picks up another fork. “But it’s stupid.”

I hide my smile, grateful that he was voicing my inner thoughts.

“It just makes it feel fancier.” Kelsey says. “But who cares?”

“That man down there definitely looks like someone who’d bitch at me if I used the wrong fork.”

We all lean over to point to an older man with his napkin as a bib, back straight, and eating his meal very…properly.

“Who invited the king?” I ask and everyone bursts out laughing, earning side eyes from the older folks around us. It feels nice to have made everyone laugh.

“Now which of these forks can I use to stab my eye out,” Noah groans as someones takes the podium again.

They announce where the food is coming from, which farms and all that as we’re served a second dinner.

“Didn’t we already have the main course?” I ask Kelsey.

She laughs, “It’s a 6 course meal. You have it twice.”

“Is that why everything is so small?” Each main course was a three bite portion. Four if you really tried.

She laughs into her hand and turns back to the front. I feel someone looking so I turn my head slightly. Both Carmen and Harry are watching. Carmen smiles at me before her eyes slide up to the front, Harry keeps his eyes on me and then slowly sends a smile my way. I turn away, a weird feeling blooming in my chest.

Why was he making me feel so weird? Why was he being so kind? Why couldn’t I stop looking at him?

I had to get the lowdown from Kelsey. Who was this guy?

Over the last couple courses the group chatters about random things, classes, and memories I’m not part of. I try not to retreat too much, and eventually the rooftop is opened. I didn’t realize it was part of the night.

People linger outside but a lot of others head out. I’m surprised it’s not cold until I realize there were some sort of fire heaters spaced out keeping the place insulated. A warm rooftop in the middle of November, it must be nice being rich.

Despite the jaw-dropping views of NYC at night, Carmen calls me over to where her and Jasmine stand huddled.

“We’re heading to the other party,” they explain. “Like now.”

“Oh,” I wrap my shawl tighter around me and we head out.

I blindly follow my friends and listen to Jasmine break down every micro interaction she’d had with her crush. For some reason, Harry pops into my mind but just as swiftly I kick him out. I couldn’t let a guy who was known for being a player occupy any part of my brain. I had school to focus on.

I remember the address, the Waldorf, like naming a building with a capital made it official and Rich. But as much as I liked to criticize rich people things in my head I couldn’t deny this place was dripping in luxe. At least whoever’s penthouse we were in.

I try not to gape too much as I follow my friends to more drinks, and pretty soon the place is filled with people. I don’t know if it was the dim lighting or the less stuffy environment but I feel more relaxed here even though the rug I was standing on was probably more money than I currently had in my bank account.

As I find myself alone at the party again, I remember I signed myself up for the 8am shift tomorrow. It was nearly midnight and I really needed to sober up.

I locate the insane kitchen and drink water until I burst. I had to find my friends, even just to let them know I was leaving.

I walk all over but the only person I find is Jasmine doing shots over a picture of Chris Evans. I don’t interrupt.

I find myself in a massive bedroom with both a bed, a couch, and a bean bag which looks weirdly out of place.

Carmen’s sitting at the window seat smoking something out the window, Harry seems to be saying something to her intensely.

“Oh hey Savannah,” Carmen interrupts Harry like he wasn’t even talking and he looks annoyed. “You enjoying yourself?”

Both of them stare at me and I feel uncomfortable.

“Where’s Kelsey?”

“Right behind you?”

I turn and blink at the pile of random blankets covering the body underneath.

“Kelsey, you alright?” I turn to Carmen and Harry. “What happened to her?”

“What always happens. She drank too much.”

“Shouldn’t we get her home?”

“She’s fine here. Go enjoy yourself you don’t have to babysit her.”

Carm says it with an undertone of hostility, and I uncomfortably walk out before remembering I wanted to say bye to them. But I don’t like leaving Kels alone like that, especially when it looked like Carmen was preoccupied with her own issues.

I’m even more curious about Harry and Carmen now.

I kill time by wandering the home and looking at the decor. I open the fridge, fully stocked like it was a restaurant, and pull out a carrot. I bump into Shanice and strike up some small talk but at this point most people are beyond tipsy and it’s impossible to hold a conversation.

I check my phone. 1am.

It takes me a few tries but I find the room again, there are more people inside now. Carmen’s where I last left her, still smoking out the window. She’s alone now and she seems lost in thought. Harry’s gone. Noah’s sitting on the bed talking to a girl.

I look at the sofa with the coats but I don’t see the same blonde hair sticking out from it. Where’d Kelsey go?

My eyes roam the room and find the same blonde hair on the beanbag chair. Another guy is sitting there, one hand’s on Kelsey’s exposed thigh and he’s talking down to her even though she looks barely lucid.

"Kelsey!" I stomp towards the two and rip the guy's hand off.

"The fuck?" He stands up as I try to pull Kelsey's body up.

"Heyy!" she whispers.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The guy asks. "We were having a moment."

"You were having a moment," I have to set Kelsey down again. "She's basically unconscious what do you think you’re doing."

"Who the fuck are you?" He starts to get in my face and i smell the alcohol on his breath but I try to stay calm as the adrenaline sobers me a little more. Surely he wouldn't hit me. "Why don't you go back to whatever shithole you came from and leave me and my girl alone."

“She’s going home now.”

“No she’s not,” he spits in my face. He tries to reach for Kelsey but I grab her first.

I turn back to get anyone’s help, Carmen's disappeared. Noah’s watching from the bed.

“Hello?” How was he just sitting there? I thought him and Kelsey were good friends?

All boys were the same.

"Mateo," Noah finally gets up from the bed and hovers around the asshole trying to take advantage of Kels. "Just let it go, not worth it."

I want to scoff. Not worth it? Fuck these guys.

"C'mon Kels." I try to hoist my friend up again and this time she's a bit more willing.

“What’s going on?" Harry calls out. He’s standing in the doorway with drinks. I look around him for Carmen but she really had disappeared into thin air.

I didn't always understand Carmen and Kelsey. Apparently they'd been friends since they could walk but they didn't always treat each other like friends. Take tonight for example, if I hadn't come here...I don't even want to think of what could have happened.

I ignore Harry and ask Kelsey to help me pull her weight getting her out but she's mostly limp.

“Let me help,” Noah tries.

“Just fuck off Noah,” I’m surprised at how intensely I feel about him but seeing him frozen on the bed really changed my opinion.

“Hey Savannah you need help?” Harry asks in the hallway. His hand brushes mine and an extra pulse runs up my arm and slams into my chest.

“No. I’m taking her home, she’s not in a good way.”

“Just leave her here, we can keep her door locked.”

“I don’t even know who lives here!” I remind him. “And I don’t care if she does by the way, I can’t leave her here.”

“Stay here longer,” Harry tries to stop me again. I look up at him and damnit, his eyes were hypnotic I could never look away. “We can lock her away somewhere.”

“Don’t want to risk it.” There’s a table in the foyer and I prop Kelsey against it. She’s mostly unconscious but she manages to stay still.

“That’s a shame,” Harry says in his honeyed voice.

“I guess.”

“You look really nice tonight by the way.” He says. I make the mistake of turning to him and his earnest gaze catches me off guard.

“Don’t play your flattering bullshit on me Harry. It’s not gonna get me to stay longer. I have an early morning thing tomorrow anyway.”

He smirks, “You just never stop calling it out do you?”

I sigh, “I’m going now.”

"Let me help you with her though, I'll be right back." He promises. But I didn't want to wait around so I continue the awkward drag 6 feet to the elevators.

Downstairs I deposit her on a couch near the front and get my phone out for an Uber. I barely had money for an Uber but what was I gonna do.

"Are you calling a cab?" The doorman appears out of nowhere and it nearly scares me out of my skin.

"Um yeah," I try to play it off.

"I'll call you one," he nods to the phone in my hands. "It'll be here faster."

"Oh um thanks," I say and stand out of the way.

I scroll through Instagram while waiting. Kelsey was asleep on the couch now.

"I'm still not over this place," I mutter and double tap the post on screen of one of my friends back home.

"I knew you had Instagram, I just couldn't find it."

I don't have to look up. Even though I ditched him, he still came down. The thought makes my stomach do a backflip.

"I'm private."

"Yeah, figures." Harry says. He was closer than I thought, just a step behind me. "Why didn't you wait for me to help you?"

"Why did you look me up?" I ignore his questions. I feel him hesitate: address the unanswered question or continue this other one.

"I wanted to know more about you."

I wondered if it was after taking his seat or after seeing me with Kelsey and Carmen. I don't ask though.

"I'll remain private in that case."

"I'll see you at other events, we'll get to know each other soon."

I throw him a dirty look. He was really close.

"So you go to these events often?"

"I’m rich and donations get you invited anywhere." He states simply and I snort.

"You don't have to flaunt it."

"Why not?" He steps closer, his chest brushes my shoulder. "I'm proud of it."

"And cocky."

"I've earned it."

I turn and we're face to face. His mom or dad had earned it, or maybe even their parents before him. "And do you believe you earn any girl who looks at you, expect them to fall at your feet too?"

"Who falls at my feet?"

"Carmen seems to have," I tilt my head, studying his face. He didn't look like a bad person, I didn't know what Kelsey was talking about. He had been kind tonight when he could have ignored my struggling. But I have to ask about Carmen because his face twitches slightly at the mention of her name.

"Carmen never fell," he denies it. "She's just around and regularly jealous."

"Are you her boyfriend or something?"

"We hook up sometimes," he says simply. "We're not exclusive."

"So you are a player," I say and take a step back.

"Just not interested in settling down. Not yet."

"Right," I turn away and check my phone.

"You don't believe me."

"I don't care."

"You should," he leans over. "Cause if you give me a chance, maybe you’ll be the one to get me settled."

“Oh my god,” I laugh. “Does that line ever actually work?”

He frowns, visibly. “It’s not a line.”

I roll my eyes, a cab pulling up. "Well if it’s not, don't wait around for me. Now show me some chivalry and help with Kelsey?"

He does so effortlessly, getting her into the cab in one piece.

"You taking her home?" He asks as we try to bend her limbs to get her in the cab.

“I…” I didn’t know what her address was. “I was just going back to my dorm.” My roommate wasn’t home so Kels could crash there.

“You’re right, her parents will kill her if they find her like this.”

I'm curious to know what exactly he means by that but I don't bother. I didn't want Harry holding it over. We manage to get her buckled in.

"So are you going to ask for my number?" Harry asks as I get in.

"Isn't Carmen going to start to worry you being down here for this long?" I know I shouldn't pull Carmen into this but his face gets weird every time I bring her up and it's almost like poking a bear; I'm curious to see his reaction.

He hangs over the open door. "Fine. Can't blame a guy for trying."

"It's not you, it's just the fact that you think you're god's gift to women."

"Ouch," he touches his heart.

"You'll survive." I climb into the cab. "I'm sure you can afford healthcare being so rich and all."

"Not if I keep taking damage from you like this."

I tuck myself into the cab but Harry doesn't close the door.

"All the more reason not to talk to me!" I pull the door handle so it can close and he has to jump off of it so he doesn't fall. I almost feel bad.

"See ya Monday Savannah," he steps back and I throw my hand up as we pull away.

He stays watching.

***

I only get 4 hours of sleep. I’m grumpy and hungover getting ready for work. Kels is dead to the world, she had crashed in my bed while I washed my makeup off last night and I couldn’t wake her. I’d just gotten in beside her.

I leave water and painkillers for her, a reminder that I was running low on them. I wasn’t sure if I even had enough to repurchase it after buying last night’s dress. I think of it rumpled in a pile by the foot of my bed…I couldn’t be bothered.

I clock in and begin the opening routine. It was kind of nice opening and closing sometimes, I could put on my own playlist and get lost in it while my hands worked on setting everything right.

My mind wanders to last night, to the dinner. To Harry. Carmen and Harry must have history; they were together most of the night.

I couldn’t make my mind up about Harry. What Kelsey said about him being a player rang true. He sure seemed like the rich fratty type. But he didn’t have to be kind when he was, he could have pointed out that I didn’t know what I was doing and make it a joke. But he helped me subtly, didn't humiliate me, and then helped Kelsey out. He was even willing to leave the party early to get her home.

I didn’t know what to make of him. But I couldn’t deny there was a magnetism there. And I had to know what he stood for and if he stood with anyone, before I decided which version of me he got.

“Morning!” My coworker’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “You look like death and a thunderstorm had a baby.”

“They did. 18 years ago. I just call them mom and dad,” I wipe down the final table before joining her. Whenever we worked first shifts we pulled the first coffees and gave ourselves five minutes to enjoy it before the morning rush. We don’t talk, we just sit together and it’s nice after the crazy of yesterday.

***

On Monday I try to ignore the skip in my heartbeat when I think about seeing Harry in class all throughout my morning shift. And yet, it stutters when he walks in even though I pretend to be busy with my notebook.

I don’t expect him to slide into the seat next to me. I look past his usual seat to turn to him and notice his things are down there. He was just here to talk.

“There’s a superhero thing going on at one of the frat houses.”

“Okay?” I try not to fidget with him sitting so close to me but my hands reach for my hair automatically. I notice his eyes follow and I drop the strand I’m twirling.

“Come with me?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you want to?”

“Harry were you hit in the head over the weekend?”

“No but this girl I was talking to came pretty close to it.” A slow smile spreads across his face. Heat pools in my stomach. “But she was too busy getting her friend home to do anything about it.”

I sigh, he knew charming too well.

“C’mon, it’s just to win points for rush. Wear a matching costume with me?”

“It has to match? God no.” I turn back to my things.

“I need your help!”

“You don’t. I’m pretty sure rush for a guy like you is just a joke. You’ll get into whatever frat you want to.”

“Are you not rushing?”

“No,” I watch the prof walk in and Harry gets the cue. He stands up but before he leaves he leans down to let me know: “I’ll ask you when you’re in a better mood.”

He doesn’t catch the glare I give because he’s walking back to the seat. He was such a cocky jerk.

But the following Friday a little after 6 there's a knock on the door. My roommate was gone for the weekend again so I knew it wasn't her. I'd told the girls I wasn't going to the party they were at today, so who could it be?

I open the door to Batman.

"Joker just left," I say before recognizing the eyes in the mask. "This is stalking you know that right?"

"Not when your friend gave you up."

"Who?" I demand.

"Your friend, the one you were talking to at breakfast today." He smiles and it's infuriatingly charming.

Elena, he must have caught her after I left for class today.

"To be fair," he continues. "She told me your dorm and said I had to work for it so I've been knocking on some doors. Someone down the hall pointed you out."

That was 4 floors he'd picked through. He really was dedicated.

"Where's your costume?" He asks.

"I'm not doing this party."

"You can't not do this party."

"Are you the party police?" I ask. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

“You just want to talk to me?” I ask drily. "Well we're talking now..."

"Can I come in?”

"No." I stall him. "I'd rather you leave."

"Please," he asks. "Come out with me tonight, and I'll never bother you again if that's what you want."

Why are you obsessed with getting me out, I want to ask him. But I don't want to give him that. I can't deny I was curious and wanted to see where this night would go but I Harry felt like a sticky web to get trapped in.

"I don't have a costume."

"Just wear something tight and black."

"Excuse me?!"

"Wait," he laughs and pulls something out of his pocket. "This."

He hands me a mask and when I hold it right, it's a leather catwoman mask.

"You'll really leave me alone after this?"

"If that's what you want?" He responds cockily like he knew that wouldn't be what I wanted. But he didn't know me.

"Give me 10 minutes." I already had a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt I could wear in my head. I just had to put my hair in a braid and put this stupid mask on.

I have extra time so I throw on black eyeshadow over most of my lids. I can’t believe I was doing this. It felt like a fuck it moment, just diving in.

I wondered if this was the same party my friends were going to.

I had talked to Carmen before calc this week. We had talked about the weekend, I’d asked her then if Harry was her boyfriend and she’d laughed.

“Ew no,” she had said. “The only kind of boyfriend he’d make is a cheating one.”

So tonight was just a fun time with a cute, albeit rich-asshole-type, guy. And it seemed like Carmen didn’t care.

I meet Harry in the hall. He'd committed to his costume, even wearing a plastic plate etched with abs.

He looks surprised when he sees me. "Alright, cool. I have one more thing for your costume..."

"What?" I watch him take out a stick. He extends it. It was a whip. "No."

"It's more accurate!" He insists.

"You're having way too much fun with this." I take it and swing it at his ass.

“That’s not for Batman!” He yelps and I laugh.

Well, I was wearing a mask, nobody knew who I was in this, what was the harm?

I leave with him and people recognize neither of us but they do a double take on our way to the party. I wonder again if my friends would be here. I could just text them, on the other hand, but knowing there was a weird history with them and Harry I didn't really want to get into why I was doing this costume thing with him.

When Harry gets us involved in a game of beer pong because the other players were gotham characters, I drink more than I intended to.

A couple hours later I tell him I was headed home. He follows me.

"You're drunk."

"So what?"

"You shouldn't walk home alone."

"I'll be fine," I insist.

"Let me walk you, Savannah." I hated the way he used my full name.

"It's only a few blocks. And I'm Catwoman. NYC is my bitch."

"Easy there." He puts his arm around my shoulder when I stumble and I try to squirm away. "Heroes help other heroes get home."

"Why do you care?" I ask, drunk me was less inhibited. This was why I rarely got drunk.

"I invited you here. I have to make sure you get home."

There he was being a gentleman again and it went against every single other thing that he was.

I knew Harry's type: rich frat guy. But there were a couple moments where he'd surprised me. That didn't happened a lot and when it did I liked to observe the person to try to figure them out. I think that’s why I continued letting him in; he was a puzzle to figure out. He was also incredibly hot, and annoyingly persistent.

I think that's also what attracted me to Kelsey's group of friends, on the outside I never could have realized girls like that weren't all shallow. Maybe I had an issue with judging.

"Y'know technically Catwoman is an anti-hero?” I ask him.

"Technically. But Batman still sticks with her…even though she does some questionable stuff." There's a laugh in his voice and I glare at him.

"Anything questionable I do is because I had to play a shitty game of beer pong." I manage to get out from under his arm and he doesn't make any moves to steady me again. "Anyway I thought you wanted to talk."

"We were talking," he laughs.

"No, we weren't."

"We were, we were having a conversation. We've been having a conversation all month."

"That was not a conversation."

"Not all conversations are verbal Savannah."

"Now you're a philosopher," I scoff.

"I've always been a philosopher." He laughs. We walk in silence for a bit, I try to get my spinning mind to quiet down too.

We finally reach my building and he even walks me up even though we have to be a bit sneaky to get him through. "Get some rest."

"Thanks." I say with mixed feelings. What did he want?

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"What do you want from me?" I ask him. "Why have you been ‘talking’ to me?"

"Because I like you," he answers honestly.

"Why?"

"Because you're interesting."

"You don't even know me."

"I know you enough." he says. I raise an eyebrow. He takes in a deep breath and begins listing: "You're in your first year of college like me, you're majoring in comp sci, you're not from here, and you live on your own."

"Lucky guess." I say and begin to turn to the door. "And I don't live alone. My roommate's just out of town for the weekend. Plus everything you said you could have read in my file. You don't actually know anything about me."

"I'm majoring in econ. I've never read your file."

"Why econ?"

"Why not econ?"

"So, it was a random choice."

"As random as finding you in my seat.”

"Meaning?"

"You chose to sit in my seat. That was an action that started this conversation. It meant something."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you're into me."

"Oh my god. Dream on," I scoff. "I barely know you."

"And that's why I invited you tonight. You can ask me anything too."

"Like what?"

"Like my favourite drink, my availability tomorrow night, or what my favourite colour is."

"Hm," I look him up and down. My brain felt too muddled to sort out everything he was saying. But I liked talking to him. He kept me on my toes. And even though anyone could catch us out here in the hall I didn't want it to stop. "Why Batman?"

"He's a hero without powers."

"He has money. That's power."

"Hm," Harry looks at me like I'd made a profound statement when I'd just pointed out the obvious. "True."

"Are you drunk too?"

"Not as much as you. Lightweight."

I ignore him. "So do you actually think you're not an asshole?"

"Most days yeah."

"Most days?"

"I try not to be," he says so sincerely i almost want to believe him. “Sometimes I can’t help it though.”

Oh god. "Right, have you ever stolen something?"

"Yes."

"From where?"

"My sister's boyfriend's house. He had this cool lighter that had a dragon etched into it."

"Do you still have it?"

"I do. I'll show it to you next time."

"Pyro," I smile, trying not to think of his next time.

"What's yours?" He asks.

"My what?"

"Your favourite colour."

"Gray," I say, slightly disappointed by his boring question.

"Gray is not a colour."

"Sure it is. It's the color of my cat."

"You have a cat?"

"See," I open my door behind me, ready to move out of the hall. "You didn't know everything about me."

"Are you going to let me in now?" he takes a step forward but I stay in the middle of my doorway.

"Why, so you can see my cat?"

He cocks his head to the side and smirks, like I said something funny but I'm not clear headed enough to figure out what's so funny.

"No," he takes another step closer.

"Good," I look behind me, at my messy room. "My cat lives with my parents one states over."

"Well, shit." He scratches his head. "Can I come in anyway?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

"Because if you do, then we're going to make out."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"I don't know you except that you're kind of an asshole. You’ve played the field with people I know. Aaaand you don't know me. It could be a bad thing."

"This is college. I thought that was the prerequisite of being in the same room--not knowing each other?"

"So you admit you don't actually know me?" Despite all the facts he stated, he didn't actually know me.

"I know one more thing," he sighs. "You're stubborn."

"How?"

"Because I'm trying to kiss you and you're not letting me."

"You should try harder."

He closes the distance between us and pulls me against him. Butterflies take flight somewhere inside me. "Let me in."

"Physically or metaphorically?" I can see I'm pushing his limits and I can't help but pressing them. It was too easy.

He pulls my mask up, "both." He then kisses me and whatever I was about to say dies on my lips. There’s a whole migration of butterflies flying south. At least for a few minutes.

"Why are you here?" I ask when we part for a break, his kisses are addictive--he was a good kisser. I almost want me to shut up too.

"Because you want me to be here," he kisses me again and I melt into him.

"I didn't say that."

"Sorry then, I'll leave-"

"I didn't say to leave." I eye his lips while I take my mask off the rest of the way. I think of how bad this mask was going to be for my skin tomorrow morning. I should probably wash my face-

"Well?" Harry asks.

"I'm drunk." I try to reel my thoughts back in but seeing him standing in my doorway, perfectly kissable and here for me they scatter again. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Then let me stay and help you sober up. I'm good at it."

"You're really cocky," I laugh.

"That's what you like about me."

"Maybe." I inch back and he takes the invitation. "My room is messy."

"So is mine." He says.

"Liar," I tease. "I bet you're a neat freak. I've seen your notes in class. All lined up and highlighted."

"And I've seen yours." He eyes me. "So your room isn't a surprise."

I open my mouth in shock. Keeping me on my toes. I liked it.

I walk further into the room and he follows me. I don't say anything to him. He shuts the door behind him and takes off his shoes.

"It's a mess," I warn him again.

"Aren't we all?"

"You sure your major is econ and not philosophy?" I tease as he walks me to the bed. "Or are you just this pretentious?"

"Pretentious or honest?"

I can't respond. I can't think. He's too close and all the beer from beer pong has left me with zero inhibitions. When he kisses me again I don't argue.

When he lays me on the bed I don't question. I only pull him on top of me.

When he takes off my pants, I lift myself to help him.

"You sure you know what you’re doing?" I ask when he pauses above me, nerves growing as his eyes skim down me.

"Shut up," he chuckles into my neck. And I do but not because I wanted to. He was magic. The whole night is magic.

Afterwards he gets up and I pull my duvet up as he dresses. "You're not staying?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Do you want to stay?" I ask him.

"Only if you want me to."

"Well I asked you first, don't put it on me. Unless you’re not the type.”

"The type?"

"The type who sleeps over the first time."

"Hm." He reaches down and strokes my cheek in a surprisingly tender move, unlike anything that had happened tonight. Why was he being so hard to read?

"You're leaving then?"

"Are you asking or telling?"

"I'm asking."

"Then no, I'm not."

"Then stay."

"Okay," he smiles and undresses again. I watch with no complaints.

He slips back under the covers and wraps his arm around my waist. "Your roommate isn't back yet?",

“No she'll be back Monday afternoon," I answer. “So let’s get on with it.”

“Get on with it?"

"Whatever you have planned," I sigh.

"so now it's my plan huh." He chuckles.

"Stop being so frustrating!"

He laughs, knowing he was wounding me up.

"Fine. Here’s my plan," he says and kisses me. It’s playful and rough.

"This isn't a plan. This is making out," I groan.

"And this is not making out." He pulls me closer and kisses down my neck so intensely I knew it would leave marks.

"What is it then?" I say when I can catch my breath.

"Making love."

"Is that a new position?" I try to joke but I know my voice is cracking.

"You know what I noticed?" He kisses down my jaw.

"What?" I barely whisper.

"You're not as tough as you pretend to be outside of this bedroom."

"This is a one-time thing," I let him know. "Now don't make me regret letting you stay."

"Letting me?" He asks. "If I remember you asked me."

I groan. "Same difference."

"I want to hear you say you asked me to stay."

"Why? Does that help?" I roll my eyes and try to pull him back to me but he's immovable.

"Say it." he grins over me.

"You're so unbelievable." I scoff but I knew I was going to give in. He did too. I would get him back, I resolve as I say the words he wants to hear. "I asked you to stay."

"Better," he smiles innocently. I roll my eyes again and he goes back to kissing me.

We don't stop for a long while and after we finish, he pulls the covers up higher.

"I can't believe we just did that."

"Your first time?" I tease him, but my hand doesn't leave his bare chest. "It's okay, next time's even better."

"I know you're not as tough as you look." He just grins. "You asked me to stay. You can't fool me anymore."

"Don't make me regret it," I warn him.

"I won't."

"You will."

I roll over and cuddle against him. He presses a soft kiss and I wonder at the bizarre turn of events tonight. To think I was planning on reading my book and going to bed. Glad he showed up at my door.

He's gone when I wake the next morning, he had surprised me by staying the night. He would have floored me if I had woken up to him so I wasn't expecting it anyway. What was unexpected was his batman mask laying on the pillow beside me and a note: early morning meeting at Wayne Enterprise, had to go. last night was fun.

He was a nerd. I tuck it under my pillow and can't stop smiling the whole weekend, it makes catching up on coursework in the library both days a lot more worth it.

The following Monday he's sitting in the third row, seat five; beside where I usually sit. He has glasses on.

"You wear glasses."

'Don't make fun of me," he takes them off. "They make me very uncool. That's why I sit in the front seat every time."

"Here I thought you were just a nerd."

"Would a nerd know how to do what I did the other night?"

"Lose at beer pong?" I sit in the seat.

"No," he leans in. "Later."

"That wasn't special," I whisper back.

"Liar," he laughs.

"I'm not saying it wasn't special. I'm just saying it's nothing a nerd couldn't do." He's about to retaliate but the prof walks in.

He brushes my thigh with the back of his hand and smirks when I sit up straighter. I glare at him but he ignores it, taking his pen out to write his perfect notes. He was a nerd.

At the end of class, I get up to leave but he doesn't follow me.

"See you next week."

"What?" I ask stupidly. I don't know what I thought we would do, just cuz we spent one night together didn't mean he was mine.

"What?" he asks back, his eyes crinkling.

"Next week?"

"Oh," he gets up from his seat. "You wanted to see me between classes?"

"No." I shake my head. "I..." I was surprised. But I didn't want to be clingy. And I sure knew Harry wasn't the boyfriend type. I don't know why I didn't just say okay and leave. A wave of embarrassment washes over me. "I'll see you next week."

Harry's mouth turns down for a second, it's awkward for a beat before he turns to his notes. "Okay. Don't try to save Gotham on your own until then."

"I wouldn't," I try to fight the awkwardness that had creeped in. "Anti-hero remember?"

He opens his mouth to say something, but doesn't much to my disappointment. I do an awkward twirl and leave without another goodbye. What the hell was that?

***

"How come I haven't seen you all week?" Kelsey sits down beside me in our calc class. "Actually I haven't seen you since the Thanksgiving gala since I was out sick last week."

"Sorry," I had been a bad friend the last couple weeks, trying to catch up on all my courses in time for midterms. "I've just been studying in all my free time."

"So have I!" She shrugs. "We all have. We've been doing study dates at the library but you never respond in the group."

"I always see them late," I say honestly. A small part of me was also kind of scared to see my friends, like they'd be able to sniff it off of me that I had slept with Harry. I still didn't know anything about him from them...

"Well. I know you only have one more midterm next week. So tomorrow night you're coming to a party with me and Carm and El."

"What about Jasmine?"

"She's mad at me. Just roommate stuff. She'll get over it don't worry, I think she's PMSing and we were just stressed the last week with midterms. I'm just giving her space. Anyway, party at XYZ tomorrow?"

"Fine," I knew I couldn't say no. Not after basically ignoring my friends the last week and a half.

Friday night comes quickly, and I ride my bike over to Kelsey but by the time i get there she's texted me that she'll meet me at the house. I guess I'd taken too long for her and Carmen. I try not to bristle.

I call Elena and she says she'd be there late, something about a family thing.

The party’s in full swing when I get there and I give up on finding my friends after 10 minutes of searching. I text them I was there, and look around for any familiar faces.

I'm talking to a friend from my intro to CS class when Kelsey finds me.

"Sorry Sav!" she waves at my friend as a way to excuse me from the conversation before she drags me away. I mouth a sorry over my shoulder. "Carmen took something and she's tripping out, Elena's taking her home."

"What? What did she take?" I didn’t know Elena even arrived. And then she was always disappearing to take care of our friends.

"Well she was smoking pot, but it probably had other shit in it. She was crying and I just didn't want to deal with that right now. Elena's taking care of her thought don't worry! You're supposed to relax tonight!"

She gets more drinks for us, procures a joint, and forces me to dance into a crowd. After a little while I relax into the party and find anything and everything funny.

Seeing Harry's face sobers me a little, of course he would be here.

He throws a wave my way, and I give him a quick smile before forcing my attention back on Kelsey.

But my impulse control dwindles by the second and I glance back in his direction. Our eyes meet again. I remember his lips on mine, trailing down my neck. I flush and look away. He was talking to a different girl, he said he'd see me in class Monday, he’s kissed every part of my body, I was just a one-night, his whispers sounded like prayers in the dark.

"Ew," Kelsey pulls me closer. "Can we move?"

"What?" I look to what she's looking at as she tugs at my sweater. She's looking at Harry who's taking a swig of his drink looking at us. "Kels."

"Let's get another drink!" She shouts.

And we do, except she leads us outside where it's too cold to be but she leads me to a car and climbs into it.

"Who's car is this?" I ask before getting in.

"Carm's—well her sister’s. She’s in town…anyway don't worry I'm not driving."

"Why didn't Elena use it to take her home?"

"Elena can't drive," Kels laughs. "I just need some quiet. We'll go back in don't worry."

"Hey," I put my arm out. "Why’d we leave?”

“I saw Harry he was looking at me and I didn't want to talk to him. But I also saw Noah--I'm in a fight with him."

"Look at you fighting with everyone," I cock my head. "What's going on?"

"Ugh! That's why I needed to talk to you but you've been AWOL. Jasmine hates me right now, Carmen's been pissing me off, Noah keeps trying to tell me what to do he's so annoying! And I failed a midterm. I'm like...freaking out."

"Woah," I lean back at her outburst. "Firstly, you haven't failed the class. Just study your ass of for the final. Secondly, like you said Jasmine and you will make up. Thirdly...Carmen is Carmen, once you're less stressed she won't bother you as much. And...well I don't really know what to say about Noah."

That makes Kelsey laugh and I smile, at least she wasn't about to cry anymore. "I just need to get..."

Half her body disappears into the backseat suddenly.

"Knew there'd be one here!" Kelsey proudly holds up a quarter-full bottle of vodka. "I need more buzz."

She takes a swig and coughs before handing it to me. I didn't really want to get this drunk tonight but I take a small sip.

"Okay," she takes another swig and clears her throat. "Basically in high school, I had a massive crush on Harry-"

"What?" If I had drink in my mouth it would have been all over Kels. I wasn't expecting her to say that and suddenly I'm sweating.

"It was high school okay!? My standards were shit."

It was taking a turn. I will my heart to get out of my throat and wait for Kels to go on.

"Anyway. Big fat crush. And everyone knew it too. Even him. He was always nice to me and shit. Anyway the summer before senior year-"

"Wait you crushed on him for 4 years?"

"No!" Kels slaps my arm. "No like a few years? I don't know he got hot at like 16 okay? We’d all known each other since we were 12 or something.”

"Okay!" I laugh despite the situation.

"Right during the summer, there was this beach party thing. I got...I never used to drink a lot then. I was scared shitless to go home really drunk and have my parents find out. But it was summer, my parents were out of town I dunno. I drank a bunch and slept with Harry-"

"What?" Fuck! I had slept with him too.

"Yeah! Whatever! We never spoke about it but I only crushed on him harder after that. But we acted like it never happened.

"So in senior year there were these rumours he was going to take me to homecoming but I came down with the flu. I was so sure we’d go to prom together. The whole year I’d flirt with him any chance I could get. It's so stupid saying it now. Anyway I'm psyching myself up because everyone is saying that he’ll ask. Then I'm at this party thing--it was kind of like the gala we went to? And I catch Carm and Harry in the coat closet."

"Carmen?" things start to fall into place in my head. "But didn't she know."

"She did." She takes another swig. "But she said he wasn't even my type, that I wasn't actually going to do anything about him, Harry came onto her. I didn't know who to believe. Because Harry knew how I felt and that Carm was my bff. And Carm knew how I felt, I guess I could handle Harry's betrayal so i just believed her. They went to prom together. I went with Noah--as a friend, and home early."

"What happened after that?" I ask when Kels goes silent.

"I went to France over the summer, met a guy. 2 guys? I got over Harry, I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I think he was just the first guy that was nice to me even though he's kind of a dick. And then we slept together and it confused my emotions. But now that him and Carm are always on and off he's around too much and I just want to forget all that."

"Wow." I wondered how Kelsey would feel if I told her what happened. Now would be a good time but I freak out. "So him and Carmen?"

"I don't think they actually like each other." She shrugs. "I think they just keep each other as their Plan B? That’s partially why Carm got so fucked up tonight. Apparently that party the other week, the one you said no to the superhero whatever?”

“Yeah?” I feel like a sinking rock.

“He showed up—Batman of all heroes of course,” she rolls her eyes like it should make perfect sense. I guess in a way it does. “And he showed up with some chick as catwoman. Nobody knew who she was and he actually stuck with her the whole night. He neber does that. Especially once he’s drunk. Carm was pissed. I think she’s low-key freaking out he’s moving on before her.”

"Shit,” I feel like throwing up. I hoped Carmen’s investigation skills were shit otherwise I might lose my friends. I could say it now. It was me. I should say it now- “The person in the catwoman suit-“

“Who cares though?” Kelsey cuts me off. “Like Harry’s a fucking player why does she care so much? Like maybe he’s finally maturing after being a rich asshole all his life? Ugh. Whatever.”

It didn’t make me feel much better. "I'm sorry."

"About?" Kelsey looks confused and I try to cover for my mouth speaking before I could think.

"That's a shitty feeling. What you went through. That's all."

“Yeah well anyway. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. Now we can go back to the party!"

I have to help Kelsey open the door and even though it felt like we should go home after such a conversation, we go in. She heads immediately for the restroom and I hang around outside.

"Savannah," a tall figure hovers invades my space. I crane my neck--Harry.

"Hey," I didn't know how to act around him. I really liked him but I couldn't see him--even casually, after what Kelsey said. One best friend betraying you was enough.

"I thought you left. You just disappeared."

"Nope. Right here," I glance at the door but Kel's is still inside.

"Hey can we talk?" Harry takes my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles. A shiver runs up my spine.

"I thought we've been talking?" I raise my eyebrow and he smiles.

He hangs his head so his mouth is directly by my ear and I feel a rush of blood at the closeness. "I need a word with you."

"A word? I see your university writing course is doing some good." Oh my god I had to stop flirting with him. Reel it in bitch!

"Seriously," he rests a hand on my waist in a familiar gesture. It burns. “Can we-"

"I can't," I snap away from him as the bathroom door inches open. "I have to take Kels home."

He glances in the direction I’m looking, Kelsey leans against the doorframe and she actually doesn't look good. Like she'd just been sick.

"You do that a lot huh?"

"It's called having friends," I push him aside as I walk past. "You should try it!"

I pray Kelsey didn't see me as I approach.

It doesn't take much to convince her to go home. Thankfully she can stil walk so with my bike in hand we head back to our dorms.

***

I get to class late on Monday. It's not entirely my fault, but there was a issue at the coffee shop and we had to call the cops. They take forever to show up and even longer to take my statement.

Harry's in his new seat beside me, he moves his jacket off my chair when I get there. He had saved me my seat.

As I settle down he slips me a piece of paper.

Are you avoiding me?

Not everything is about you.

But maybe this is? Why were you late today?

Work. Now leave me alone I’m trying to learn.

You work? Where?

I roll my eyes internally. My working was such a shock for him. Or maybe it was that some of us had to work to afford a place like this.

I don’t respond and he stops after that. But he catches me after class.

"Can we talk--have a word, whatever?"

"Sure, can we walk to the caf while we do? I'm starving." I hadn't eaten since this morning. I hadn't had time.

"Sure," Harry hitches his backpack up and follows me. "I feel like I've said something wrong."

"What?" I ask. His candour catches me off guard.

"I don't actually know what. But I feel like I said something wrong, and you've been acting weird since."

"No," I shrug with a fake nonchalance. "I'm fine."

"Really? I feel like we had a really amazing night, I like talking to you and you're...well I just think you've been avoiding me now. And talking to me like before we spent the night together. When you thought I was only an asshole."

"Did I ever say that opinion changed?” I correct him.

"Well your opinion changed enough to sleep with me. Did you forget? The love making?"

I cringe. "Ew. Nothing's changed Harry. It was just one night right?"

"It was?"

"You said it yourself the other week. You're not looking to settle down. I don't get the issue."

"I want to see you again. I wanted to hang with you at the party the other day. You looked like you were having fun dancing. But you just disappeared.”

"I already told you I had to take Kel-"

"Yeah Savannah, I know. I can’t believe I’m saying this but…just tell me what I need to do to prove myself and get some of your time. Because I don't get why you're treating me like you can't get rid of me fast enough again?”

"I..." I didn't know what to say. He was right, and even though I didn't want to treat him like this I had to.

"Just tell me the truth. I'm a big kid I can handle it."

I raise an eyebrow.

"Tell me."

"Kels told me.”

“What?”

He was so daft. “About your guys' history? And Carmen and prom? And I don't want to be part of that. Kelsey is a really good friend and I just...I don't want to get involved in this sticky situation."

"That...that happened so long ago. There is no sticky situation-"

"You're sleeping with Carmen," I remind him. "That's pretty sticky."

“I haven’t slept with Carm in weeks.”

“Ew.”

“What? You asked!”

“I didn’t. I also don’t care. You’re the kind of guy who sleeps around—I’m not judging. But when the people you’ve slept with include my good friends…I just can’t get involved.”

I start walking and it takes him a beat before he unfreezes and catches up to me.

“No wait. This is unfair-“

“Unfair?”

“Yeah! I…that’s in the past. Why are you punishing me for something in the past-“

“Punishing you? God you’re such a dramatic prick Harry. I just value my friendships over…a nice night.”

“I thought we were more than a nice night.”

He was making this harder than it was supposed to be. I didn’t get it. He wasn’t looking to settle, he said that. And last week after class he had acted like we’d see each other in class only. Now he was fighting to take me out again?

“Harry…you said yourself. You can have any girl you want. There are hundreds around! Please, don’t get hung up over this. I can’t sleep with a guy who slept with my friends. I don’t care how many weeks it’s been. You said it yourself—Carmen’s the jealous type. I don’t want it to get out and have her get-“

“Carmen always goes for what she wants, and that’s not me. Who cares-“

“So do you.” I remind him. “But you don’t always get what you want in the real world. Maybe I’m your first lesson. But just let it be. Please?”

“This is fucking unfair Savannah.”

I shrug, I was all out of words.

He swears again and runs his fingers through his glorious hair. I wish I could have savoured him better if I knew he was off-limits from now on.

“Fine.” His voice is flat and he looks past me. I force myself past being hurt about it. “See you around.”

We walk opposite ways and I bury the unsettling emotions that rise to the surface.