Work Text:
He aches for the idea of it. The dream of being greater than what he is now rattles inside of his chest. It eats away from the inside stinging as it reaches the top. He would do anything to get out of this misery. All those people, even his family couldn’t make it out of poverty. For they all died, and left Norton Campbell to clean up their bill from being dead.
Though he can’t resent them, he chooses to sabotage himself. He greatly looks down upon himself. The thoughts started out slow. They only affronted his low effort and shabby appearance. But as the negativity began to live with him he couldn’t tell the difference between self agony and clear facts. For any mistake he made he started to believe he deserved it.
Only thing he didn’t deserve was to live. As he ate he thought of how he didn’t deserve to eat. For what has he done to be granted such a wonderful privilege? Where’s the money? Where’s that new life? Even he isn’t perfect. His emotional outbursts draw everyone away. He won’t be married into wealth, for he isn’t good enough. He’s not a good person. Everybody knows it. He’s great at complaining, overworking himself and starting arguments. What else is he good for?
At the end of the night these are all just thoughts. For he eats and he eats, leaving claw marks as he drags it into himself. He continues his life longing for wealth through every trial that comes to failure he somehow continues. He doesn’t get discouraged due to his stubbornness. That or he has nothing better to strive for. He’s not going to work on that cold personality he’s saddled with. Until it’s late when he climbs into bed, he finds himself weeping into his ripped pillow. He cries for himself over everything he has done, has not done and will not do.