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The beautiful thing about being in her childhood home was the fact that her parents never let her be alone with James for too long. After last night, it was definitely a blessing. This meant it was far easier to avoid the awkward conversation that was bound to come. Something she would have to face when her parents stopped lingering.
Lily wasn’t even sure if they were hoping to catch them doing something because they disapproved, or that they were hoping to see something. Either way, it was awfully convenient for her. It meant that they could spend the day without having to talk about last night.
After lunch, Ruth whisked her daughter away to the church to do some last-minute inventory, gushing over Petunia and her husband the entire way there. How they were trying to get pregnant and start a family.
“I am so happy they decided to start a family already! We’re not getting any younger, you know.”
That was a line her mother liked to use right before asking for one of two things. Now that she had a pretend boyfriend, she assumed there was only one option left. So, Lily prepared herself to talk her mother through her plans for the future - Only to be blind sided.
“So, have you and James talked about starting a family yet?”
Shocked and a little flustered, Lily blinked at her mother. Her breath formed a white cloud in the air as she breathed out, deflating. The answer she had prepared was clearly useless.
“No, Mum, we have not talked about that yet. We’re just dating.”
She gave her mother a pointed look, one that the older woman promptly ignored in favour of a follow-up question that was somehow worse than the previous one.
“Do you know if he wants children? Because I know you do. You always said you wanted a nice, big family. Which is why I thought you’d be happy with a good Catholic boy.”
Lily stopped in her tracks, tugging at her headband. It took everything she had to not snap at her mother. Forever going on and on about her marrying some ponce from their hometown and never leaving. She knew that Ruth meant well, but she couldn’t help but feel frustrated.
“Mother-”
“You only call me that when you’re cross with me, Lilyflower.”
“-Mother, Mum. I love you and I respect you, but I did not come home to be lectured about my life choices. James is a wonderful person, and I know he is not what you were hoping for. But I do love him…”
Her sentence trailed off as she said the words. Words she had never voiced before, that even in her mind were no more than a whisper. But there they were, plain as day. She loved James, and the first person to hear her say it was her mother who was pestering her?
“Is that a revelation I see?”
Ruth’s words sat there for a moment, heavy on her chest, before the redhead nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat and pushing the corners of her lips up into a smile.
“Yeah, yes. I guess you could say that.”
Her words came out faint as she still recovered from the epiphany. She watched as her mother’s hands clasped together, her eyes glittering with glee.
“Well, I suggest you save that little gem for tonight. That sounds like a lovely way to start the new year, don’t you think?”
All Lily could do was nod faintly and follow after her mother, spending most of the morning doing the final decorations in a haze. Thinking, or rather overthinking, every word she’d said ever since James had got there. Every move she’d made. A parade of ifs, ors and buts carving circles in her mind.
None of those thoughts were helped by the arrival of her sister around lunchtime. The blonde breezed into the church, looking prim and proper in her nylons and pearls, dusting some fresh snow off her hat before embracing their mother.
Then, Petunia turned to Lily, expression pinched as she took her in. Lily’s hand moved to fiddle with the end of her braid. Her sister was possibly the only person that made her feel self-conscious.
“Lily.”
It was all she got as a greeting, paired with a stiff nod. The sting of her sister’s frosty attitude distracted her from her previous predicament. Which, in a way, was a relief. And like a glutton for rejection, Lily decided to make small talk with her sister.
“How are you doing, Tuney? How’s married life?”
The smile on Petunia’s face was sharp. Not looking up from the chair where she was placing her coat, she answered.
“Absolutely marvellous. Vernon and I are very happy. They recently promoted him to interim director of the company. We expect that the position will be permanent when they notice how competent he is.”
There was a pause, where both of them exchanged looks. Lily smiling, Petunia gloating.
“I am very happy to hear things are going well. Mum and Dad mentioned that you are planning a big trip this summer.”
When they’d been younger, her sister had always talked about travelling. They’d planned to go backpacking after finishing school. But that plan had not been mentioned since the arrival of her Hogwarts letter.
“Yes, he’s taking me to see the Mediterranean.”
Petunia flicked her hair over her shoulder and bristled at her own words. It had always been where their trips would start. Greece, Italy, Spain, Morocco. All places they’d both been fascinated by.
Lily opened her mouth to express how happy she was for her, hoping to find a way through the walls her sister had put up. But before she could say anything, Petunia cut her off.
“If we don’t get pregnant first.”
All that she could do in response was smile and nod, because what did you say to something like that? She did not want to open that can of worms, and both her mother and her sister would likely see it as an invitation to ask. Her mother did not need more encouragement.
But of course, it took no more than a few heartbeats for the opening to be made, anyway.
“Annie from next door called me, said you brought a suitor for the ball.”
Lily was very well aware that this was thin ice; one wrong word and the floodgates would open. Her own face, flushing a delicate pink, was already betraying her, eyes flicking away, not wanting to sneer at what was undoubtedly on Petunia’s face. After all, she could hear enough of it in her voice.
“Are you going out with one of those magicians?”
Lily’s eyes widened, shocked that her sister would have the impertinence to ask something like this so openly. In the middle of the church, where everyone could hear her.
“He’s a classmate, yes,” she answered stiffly, tilting her head forward, a silent threat for her sister to watch her words. But as she looked for a direction to steer the conversation in, one more question slipped through.
“I can’t believe you’d bring someone when Mum already went through all the trouble of getting you a decent fellow. A normal one.” Petunia waved her hand dismissively, her nose upturned as she surveyed the room, immediately moving to bark some orders at the other volunteers. Hands on her hips, her back half turned to Lily she added, “Make sure this one actually showers.”
Swallowing did nothing to mediate the tightness in her throat, and her sister’s rudeness did not leave her time to recover. The next impertinent question was already rolling off her tongue.
“I heard a rumour that he’s a foreigner too. Seriously Lily? I always knew your taste was questionable. Your weird little friend proved that much, but this is tacky, even for you.”
Anger flared up inside Lily, hand already on her wand, when she realized just how cornered she was. She could do nothing, not yell without their mother getting upset. She absolutely couldn’t hex Petunia, because she was better than that. Most importantly, she couldn’t cry. Because that would mean Petunia won.
Lily was left with no choice but to flee. She excused herself with a tremble in her tone, muttering that she was going home as she breezed past her mother. Ruth asked why, but Lily did not answer, already halfway out the door when the question reached her ears.
She walked home at a brisk pace, rushing through the little streets and ducking into the alley. She practically burst through the back door, her hair tousled from the icy wind. Her cheeks, nose, and ears frost nipped and glowing red.
Wrestling her coat off, she left it abandoned in a pile on the floor at the backdoor. The floor was cold under her mismatched socks, but she didn’t care. She followed the sound of voices through the kitchen and into the living room.
Making a beeline for James, she practically threw herself into his lap, arms wrapping around him tight. Grateful that he didn’t ask questions and just pulled her closer to him. His arms wrapped around her.
“Missed me that much, did you?”
James’s voice was warm, a chuckle rumbling through his chest. His hand rubbed up and down her arm, an attempt to soothe or maybe warm her up. It worked quite well for both.
“Lilypad? Everything alright?”
It was her father’s voice that coaxed her out of the crook of James’ shoulder. Taking a deep breath, her eyes met with James’, an apologetic look on her face before she turned to look at her father.
“Tuney showed up, claws out. I… couldn’t stay.”
No matter how much he wanted to, Jon could not hide the grimace on his face. He knew how his eldest could be. He knew how much his youngest still wished for a connection. It was a recipe for hurt, and he could not blame Lily for walking away from it.
“That’s alright, pumpkin. I’ll handle them when they come back.”
Pushing himself up out of his chair with a groan and a joke about getting old, her father finally left them alone, disappearing into the kitchen to make a pot of tea.
“Want to tell me what this is all about?” James asked after a moment of silence where she did not surrender the reason for her storming in. His lips pressed against the top of her head, the remainder of the tension she had been holding dissipating.
“I am not allowed to hex my sister. Even when she says heinous things.”
Her answer made him laugh, and if she had been less comfortable, she would have moved to elbow him. Instead, Lily tilted her head back a little to shoot him an annoyed look.
“Want to tell me, or is it that bad?”
Considering his question, she decided that venting might actually help her. That she wanted him to comfort her, to tell her that she wasn’t overreacting. Which was the reaction she expected to get from her mother when they’d come around for dinner.
“She asked about you.”
James’s eyebrows raised in curiosity when she admitted that, but he refrained from saying anything yet, waiting out the full story instead.
“It started with her asking if you were a wizard. Well, she used the word magician because she thinks that is an insult, but anyway. Then she told me off for bringing someone rather than going with the date mum found.”
The curious expression on his face shifted from confusion, and realization, to annoyance really fast. His arms held her closer, his posture a little stiffer than before.
“Then she decided to tag on some racist remark just to top it all off.”
Lily rolled her eyes, her blood still simmering when she thought back on it. She buried her head on his shoulder.
“I should be allowed to hex her once, at least.”
“I know, darling. But she is your sister, and we don’t hex family while we’re staying with them.”
It was good advice, even if she hated it. Even if she wanted to, just once, give Petunia a piece of her mind. Even if she was afraid that if she did that, she would lose her forever. A thought that she was slowly coming to terms with. Or rather, a realization that was bound to happen soon.
“I hate how reasonable you are sometimes,” Lily muttered into his jumper and for a moment just stayed there, enjoying the moment, relieved at the sounds of the kettle whistling, cutting their conversation there. Even though she forced herself to move, be respectable and all that for when her father would come walking back in.