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- London. House of Detective Inspector Lestrade and family.
Ex Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard closed the door entering his house, greeted his wife and then sat down in his armchair to read the latest story Doctor Watson had published on The Strand. Lestrade had been very happy to see new stories being published and their frequency had gotten more regular since Doctor Watson and Mr Holmes had retired from the public scene. The inspector smiled thinking at those two being together in Sussex, living their best life of leisure; he had his suspects on the reason of such an early retirement, especially from the Man more married to his job he had even met. He shook his head, better not to think to such things!
Lestrade opened directly at the page usually dedicated to Doctor Watson's writing and began to read.
The beginning was quite weird and sure, Lestrade knew of the man whose name made up the title of the story but remembered quite well Mr Holmes refusing to take the case of his murder.
"Why are you smiling, dear?" asked Mrs Lestrade, a fond look in her eyes.
"Ah, nothing, only Doctor Watson's new story. This is a case of 20 years ago!"
"Ah! - the woman smiled - remembering your youth!"
Lestrade grinned "Of course! You know, honey, Mr Holmes refused this case. I proposed him to help me with the investigation of Mr Milverton's murder, he refused. I Wonder what did Doctor Watson write about"
"You only have to discover it by reading the story, then. Doctor Watson said nothing of this new publication in his last letter?"
"Nothing at all, man can be more sealed than a safe. And not even Mr Holmes can crack that one" Smiled Lestrade diving in the story.
It seemed that the story wasn't about Mr Milverton's murder at all, it was about a case Mr Holmes had accepted before that. Lestrade smiled as he recognized Dr Watson's peculiar way to describe his characters. He chuckled "Always kind, the doctor."
"Is he being as delicate as usual as he describes the client?" enquired Mrs Lestrade
"Not the client, Mr Milverton. Apparently, they are helping a client with a business with him.”
As Lestrade kept reading, things became weirder. Of course, there was nothing weird in Dr Watson wanting or being ready to hit whoever threated Mr Holmes, Lestrade had been on the receiving end of his glare at times and had never been exactly fond of the sensation, nor was it strange for Mr Holmes to attempt such a game or to disguise himself, Lestrade also remembered quite well how the distinctive and gentlemanly figure of the detective could become completely unrecognizable after half an hour in front of his mirror for some make up, but this! "BY JOVE! This is new! Getting engaged. What hasn't that man done for a case!"
"You told me he's very respectful to women. And you say he willingly tricked a girl in this way!" was the Lady's shocked answer.
"And yet! - Lestrade quoted the passage - Knowing him, he did nothing inconvenient, but he sure managed to seduce her in some way. And in fact, Doctor Watson is as reproachful as you are, dear. Telling him that surely, he has gone too far" he nodded.
"See? There is a reason Dr Watson is by far the most charming man I've ever met" she smiled.
"Now, now, Anne... - laughed Lestrade in answer - What about your charming husband?"
"Except you, of course, honey"
"You are lovely, my darling - he sent her a wink and a kiss - I'm very curious to see where this is going."
"Don't tell me how it ends! I want to read it by myself.”
He nodded "As you desire, my Lady.”
The reading went on for some more minutes, Lestrade ever more focused until he just threw the paper down on the coffee table "BLAST IT! The rascals! Indeed, a description of Watson!" he cried. Without another word he sprang to his feet to get the phonebook to look for Mr Holmes and Dr Watson's number. What a happy coincidence they still lived together; he would be able to shout at both at the same time. And sure, a trip to Sussex would be in order. He dialled the number, shouted at the innocent telephone operator to pass him to that number and waited for those two rascals to answer to him.
Meanwhile in a secluded Sussex cottage Mr Sherlock Holmes was sprawled on his armchair, a leg over the armrest the other curled against it, reading his newspaper and marking the articles he would cut out for his index in the most complete relaxed concentration as his long-time partner was getting some mid-morning tea ready. Their calm was so complete that the unexpected ring of the phone made them both startle from their tasks.
"I'll go" sighed Holmes uncurling from his position.
"Thank you dear. Water is almost boiling here" answered his partner.
"Bet that it's Lestrade?"
"You shouldn't encourage my bad habits, you rascal" grinned doctor Watson from their kitchen.
"You accept?" Holmes' hand hovered near the phone.
"I do. - he laughed - But I want you to tell me what makes you so sure that you're going to win.”
"After the call. - he picked up - Hello? Who's-" his sentence was cut into a wince.
"HOLMES! I KNOW IT'S YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE - Shouted Lestrade as soon as the call was picked up - So THAT is why you refused my case" he growled on a lower tone.
"Good morning Lestrade, I haven't had the pleasure to hear your suave tones for a while" answered the detective with cheeky affability.
"Cut the crap. - was the Sharp reply - Is that the reason you refused to take my case in 1884?"
Holmes' eyebrows shot up "I refused you MANY cases, my dear inspector, you should be a bit more specific.”
"You know PERFECTLY WELL of what I'm talking about. The Milverton Murder"
"AH, what about that? Has new evidence come up? It isn't like you to leave a murder unsolved for 20 years" Holmes suppressed a chuckle as Watson's expression got from a confused stare to a silent snicker.
"Haven't I just told you that I won't get any of your elusive answers, Mr Holmes? I shall come round tomorrow to discuss the new evidence. Be assured that they will interest you greatly."
"You are always welcome in our little abode, friend Lestrade. And do bring your piece of evidence.”
"I should get young Hopkins and come to arrest you in this MOMENT, Holmes. You and the good Man You've led astray.”
"You were always a great conversationalist, Inspector. Good-bye, then, see you tomorrow" he hung up only to collapse in a fit of helpless snickers.
Dr Watson poured two cups of tea and put them down on their coffee table "Well, Holmes? I understand we shall have a visitor tomorrow" he asked.
The usually composed detective snickered a bit more "Lestrade read your story." he dropped.
Watson froze "Which - he went on cautiously - story?"
“The last one you published. Charles Augustus Milverton. I believe you can deduce what the phone call was about.”
"We are DEAD. He remembers of the case?"
"Quite well, my doctor, quite well - Holmes approached his partner to circle his waist and leave a kiss on his jaw - We shall need quite a bit of courage tomorrow, my dear. I know there's more than enough of it in that big heart of yours.”
"You madman. You almost killed me with your 'It could be a description of Watson' remark back then.”
"Yet you liked it enough to put it in your nice, little record."
"Someone keeps bugging me so that I keep it as truthful as possible."
"Do I know this man?" Purred Holmes putting his head down on Watson's shoulder.
"I DO believe so, my dearest - laughed Watson - drink your tea. We'll devise our plan for tomorrow over it”.
Holmes left another kiss on Watson's jaw "As Captain Watson orders.”
The following morning Holmes was ready in his most 'London' outfit by half past eight, he put together some breakfast while Watson dressed and then started pacing the sitting room, not being able to manage to stay still. As Watson entered the room he sighed "Holmes..."
"AH Watson, my dear, - interrupted the detective - I made some coffee and some toast, you have the Milverton case file ready as agreed?"
Watson smiled and approached his husband "Holmes. - he said in his most calming voice and with his hands on his partner's shoulders - It's going to be okay. You've not been this nervous thinking of a visit from Lestrade or any Yarder since 1882, darling”.
Holmes breathed in deeply, to calm down "I... The file, John?" he insisted after a moment.
"Where we keep all the files, in the living room's library, in the 1884 case, 9th dossier. Have you had breakfast, Sherlock?" was the worried answer.
Holmes put a quick kiss on Watson's lips "You're as usual invaluable, my dearest Watson" he said as he tried to get away but the doctor's hold tightened in warning.
"Don't believe you can slip away like this, Holmes. - Watson let a bit of his military voice be heard - Have you had anything for breakfast? Since you were considerate enough to prepare it" he asked again.
"A Cup of Coffee. Couldn't down anything else"
"You need to eat something more than that, Holmes, you know it. Get the file and then come read it here. We have time.”
"Sure, my dear"
As soon as Holmes turned, Watson took an apple from the bowl they kept on the sideboard "Holmes!" he shouted as per their signal, tossing it to his man as soon as he neared the threshold.
He laughed catching it "Maybe while we read.”
"Eat that Apple!" laughed Watson as he sat down for his own breakfast.
Lestrade arrived, as Watson had foreseen, around half past nine.
It was Holmes to open the door "Inspector Lestrade! - he greeted with the easy way he had with his friends - come in, sit down and tell us about the case.”
"Good morning, Mr Holmes. Doctor. Had I known you better all those years ago I would have warned you of some of his habits" greeted the inspector friendly but with a determined gleam in his eyes
"Good morning Lestrade. Cigar for old time's sake?"
"I see Mr Holmes infected you with his cheekiness, doctor. Yes, thank you."
The former inspector sat down on one of the armchairs while his hosts sat on the couch with the case material at Watson's elbow. As soon as the inspector's Cigar and Holmes' pipe had been lit, Lestrade addressed the detective "Now, Mr Holmes, I came across an interesting piece of evidence.”
"OH please, Lestrade, DO share it with us. I perceive a copy of The Strand in your pocket, but I can't imagine you substituting your usual morning paper with that magazine.”
"Ah, don't worry about that, Mr Holmes. You see, the evidence is just in that magazine. - he opened at the pages with Watson's story and showed it to the couple - Should I read it? But I imagine that your memory is as excellent as usual, Mr Holmes. Same for yours, Doctor, you are the one who wrote this, after all.”
Holmes took a look and sighed "Very well, time to uncover our cards. Watson, could you pass the inspector the case record. Lady Eva's situation and Mr Milverton's occupation."
"Sure, Holmes. Here you go Lestrade, the original record of our case, as you know I always write one.”
"I do, I do. And as usually it's impeccable."
"Read it, Lestrade. And tell us if there are any doubts" encouraged Holmes.
"Thank you, Mr Holmes. I see that your story came out directly from this, doctor.”
"It's been 20 years since the facts. We could afford it. As you see I had to change some surnames for safety reasons, but the facts are those."
"And so, he truly was a blackmailer as it was rumoured in the Yard."
"He was. And you know my loath for them, -"
"Know and share it, Mr Holmes. I'm a copper, but I do know how people feel when reputation is concerned" interrupted Lestrade.
"And of course, you remember quite well how it was in the old times. People cared about it even more than now, especially big families.”
"And you too Mr Holmes. You loathe blackmailers for many reasons. The case of Gloria Scott is not the only one of them. Don't give me that look, I'm not that bad of a detective.”
Holmes sat up straighter "You have to understand that for me, for us, it is a delicate matter. You are retired, Lestrade, and have been a true friend for a number of years." he hesitated.
"I've met you that you were scarcely out of university, Mr Holmes, we could say I almost raised you" smiled he, giving Holmes time to collect his words.
"I had fled university. Dropped out. See? Yet another thing I wouldn't have exactly liked to come out when I was twenty-six and snooping around.”
"You dropped out?"
"It wasn't the right environment for me. Victor Trevor had been one of two friends there and well... You know how it ended. But that is outside our topic. Yes, we've known each other for a number of years, I trust you with my life, I showed you so ten years ago I believe. But this secret is much more important.”
"Shall I promise you not to tell a soul that I know of you and the doctor? - Lestrade smiled friendly - calm yourselves, gentlemen. I'm not looking for trouble. I have never told anyone, have I? It will stay this way. Am I allowed to congratulate you over having made it work”?
"It would be most kind on your side, Lestrade. - smiled Watson, relieved - You know Holmes probably as well as I do, he knows we can trust you as well. Right my dear?"
Holmes shook himself out of his stupor and exhaled, closing his eyes for a moment, then he inspired again, fixing his eyes into Lestrade's "Thank you for your congratulations, Inspector. You are right, allow me to congratulate you on having solved this case."
"It isn't a case, Mr Holmes. It's a friend worrying for another one. I know how close you and the doctor are. You were killing yourself with work before he came around and when he married Mrs Watson, I'm a bit older than you, I've seen these things many times."
Holmes took Watson's hand to kiss it "You are right again; he is my safety. So, you can easily see why I couldn't risk endangering him by taking your case. Moreover, a blackmailer is not a person whose loss I grieve in any way. You see I had no reason at all to investigate his murder even not being there."
Lestrade took a drag from his Cigar "You are right, Mr Holmes. As you often tend to be. But I want you to tell me a thing. Who was the woman?"
"Ah, Inspector! I suppose you could recognise her." grinned Holmes, reaching into his inner pocket.
"We both know I was always as good with faces as Dr Watson is with remembering conversations."
Watson bowed his head in thanks "That you always were. You didn't become the best of Scotland Yard for a coincidence.”
"You have a photograph, Mr Holmes?"
Holmes smiled and handed Lestrade a little envelope "I suspect you do know her... AH YES! - Holmes' whole face brightened in a smile at Lestrade's shocked face - I KNEW IT!"
"SHE? - he blurted out - And the conversation..."
"Exact in every word, I assure you. - confirmed Watson - I won't forget that night even in a million years.”
Lestrade stared at the photo for some other seconds before handing it back to Holmes "Gentlemen - he said rising - It was as always a pleasure to meet you and a privilege to solve yet another case together.”
Holmes chuckled "May we continue to solve cases together even in retirement."
"I will see the two of you at Scotland Yard in two weeks. It's Bradstreet's retirement party and you can't miss it.”
"We will be glad to be there - smiled Watson - He will manage a social occasion once in a while."
"In the hope he doesn't try to steal another pair of handcuffs from an unsuspecting constable." joked Lestrade.
"Me? Stealing?" was Holmes' ostentatiously outraged answer.
"You stole Gregson's badge in 1895. After having stolen poor MacPherson’s helmet right after your deposition on colonel Moran when you 'came back to life'. In my last year there I reconstructed an exact timeline of all similarly weird disappearances; I could share it with you then.”
Holmes laughed once again, cheerful "And once again you prove to be the best of the Yarders. You shall see us, then. And I promise to come out clean in this occasion.”
"Thank you, Mr Holmes. And see you then. Doctor, Mr Holmes. Always a pleasure"
"Always a pleasure to see you Lestrade" waved Watson with a smile.
It took some minutes after he had left before Holmes managed to let the tension go "It wasn't that bad" he breathed.
"Told you it wouldn't be. Come here old man, sit down, lean on me and have a little nap."
"I don't need to sleep Watson" protested Holmes quite weakly.
"Shush, my love, you barely slept a wink tonight" the doctor sat so to have Holmes' head on his lap and caress his hair.
"My Watson..." murmured Holmes leaning into his touch.
"My little Holmes. You need to rest, my dear."
"As doctor orders" murmured Holmes closing his eyes and trying to slow his breath down.