Work Text:
There are days when you need to shut the world out, be left alone and just exist. Work has been extra hard, in part from picking up extra shifts to try and have money for vacation, but the day has been very rough. Nonstop customers, loud noises and conversations, and all of it had eaten into you like a parasite, a headache forming and nearing an overload on your body’s senses. Your drive home is silent to try and combat it, knuckles white on the wheel of the car. All you want is to get home, change and block every other thing out. You make the drive with anxiety high, park your car in its designated covered spot, and head up the stairs to your apartment, thumb rubbing at your temple in hopes to ease the worsening pain in your skull. Stopping at the railing where the stairs end and your large porch area begins, you let yourself lean against the metal to rub at your temples with a grumbled sigh. A soft meow catches your attention, and looking up, you see your cat Lunabelle sitting on the windowsill watching you.
“Luna, get out of the window, it’s open.” you scold her, but your own words give you pause. You were certain the windows were closed when you left for work “Why is the window open?” Turning towards your door, you lift your keys to unlock it as it opens on its own, revealing a mess of blue hair and dark eyes. You’re caught off guard in your already pained state, so it doesn’t immediately register that your boyfriend is standing in front of you. “Wait…Hongjoong?”
“Y/N? Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you just standing outside?” Hongjoong asks, only for a horn to start blaring across the parking lot the moment after he speaks. The noise is so sudden that it makes you drop your bag and keys, hands covering your ears with a quiet whine as your eyes close.
“Just a very bad day...” you manage with tears in your voice, hating that he’s home only for you to be having a terrible day. The sound of keys makes you open your eyes, only to see Hongjoong has lifted your dropped items and is slinging the strap of your bag onto his shoulder. When he moves to stand in front of you, you can’t help but watch him as he lifts his hands to gently take hold of your wrists and ease your arms down.
“Migraine?” he asks.
“Not yet.”
“Is it getting to that point?” He lets your wrists go to reach forward and cup your face with his hands, looking your face over with concern in his eyes. You nod a few times in response as he does so, letting him start urging you towards the door.
“Are you in overload?”
“Not really, it’s mostly just the noise right now.” You answer, moving forward to press into him, tucking your face into his neck.
“Come on, darling. I’ve got you.” Hongjoong assures, leading you inside and closing the front door. “Sit on the couch for me?” He asks, and you do so as he goes around, closing the windows he’d apparently opened when he’d arrived, shooing Lunabelle out of the window and rolling his eyes as the cat meows in dissent and goes to her cat tree to perch in one of the beds. The room slowly dims as Hongjoong closes the curtains and then returns to where you sit.
“When did you get here, Joong?”
“I’ve only been home for like an hour or two.” Hongjoong replies, moving to kneel in front of you with his current task complete. “How’s your head?”
“A six?”
“Okay, go get some pajamas, I’ll get a shower going.”
“Joong, you don’t-” You’re cut off by Hongjoong sealing his lips over yours and can’t help but lean into the contact, unable to keep the smile from curving your lips as he pulls away.
“I know I don’t have to do it, Y/N. I want to. Let me take care of you, okay?” he asks, hands cupping your face as he stares into your eyes. “Go get some pajamas, meet me in the bathroom.”
You don’t have it in you to argue with him when your head is trying to put you out of commission, so instead you lean forward to take another kiss from him. “Shower with me?”
“That was the intention, precious.” he answers, standing and holding out a hand to you. “Come on.” He helps you stand, and you walk together down the hall. He dips into the bathroom but leaves the door open while you walk into the bedroom to gather some clothes. You watch him from the hall as he starts the water, smiling before going to your room to gather your clothes. Opting for a thinner fabric nightgown and underwear, you find your way back to the bathroom, leaning on the doorframe for a moment as you set your fresh clothes on the counter. Hongjoong has the lights at a dimmer setting, four candles lit and placed along the back of the counter. The room has a delightful mix of storm rain, eucalyptus and mint mingling with the faint steam of the shower. It takes a few moments for your eyes to fully adjust, your body relaxing as you close the door behind you. Hongjoong is humming to himself as he tests the water, shirt already forgotten and jeans hanging low on his waist. You take the time to admire him, never getting tired of the way he looks. You’re stepping from your clothes and setting them in a small pile when he turns, his lips curving as he holds out a hand. “Come on, it’s just how you like it.”
You can’t help the blush on your cheeks as he takes you in, a part of you always shy under his gaze. Your hand slips into his and he helps you step into the shower, stepping under the spray before shaking your head a little when something isn’t the same. “What on earth?” Wiping water from your face, you look up to find a new shower attached. “Joong? What is-”
“I know sometimes the pressure is too hard for when you have migraines.” Hongjoong replied, stepping in behind you and reaching to show you where the little knob is to change the flow. “So I got you a new shower head with more settings, that way you’re not in more pain trying to shower.”
The overwhelming emotion in your chest makes you turn, hands locking behind his neck so you can pull him in for a kiss. When you pull back to look at him, your fingers run through his dampening hair. "Have I told you I love you today?"
Hongjoong's laugh is music to your ears, and he leans to steal another kiss. "You don't need to tell me, baby. But it doesn't mean I mind hearing it." You tuck your face into his neck for a moment, letting the hot water relax you further into his embrace. "Come on, let me clean you up."
"Only if I can cuddle you after." You counter with a smile, lifting your head to kiss his cheek.
"I think that can be arranged." Hongjoong replies, tapping your nose with his finger as he turns to get your loofah and put his body wash on it.
"Hongjoong?"
"Yes?"
"What did I do to deserve you in my life?" It isn't an uncommon question, but you haven't asked it in some time. His answer is marked with the same beginning, however; that gentle smile and his lips against your forehead.
"You were yourself with me. With the team. Unapologetically, beautifully yourself." The loofah in his hand is now lathered up and he starts by washing at your front, focused on bathing you. You let your eyes close as he takes care of you. His hands rinse out the loofah before guiding you back under the water so he can rinse the suda away from your skin. He pauses for a moment, but before you can ask him what's wrong, the water heats up more and you chuckle.
"You always take care of me, baby."
"I'm supposed to, I am your boyfriend after all." Hongjoong counters as he adjusts the water again and moves to turn you around, his hands beginning to gently massage along the base of your head. He takes his time as his works his way down and to one shoulder. You can feel the way he edges the pain in your muscles away, and a sigh passes your lips as he works the knots out with gentle concentration. You focus on the feeling of his hands and the gentle sound of the water falling around you, the pain that had been building in your skull starts to dissipate.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." Hongjoong answers, dipping to press a kiss to your shoulder. "Are you feeling better?" You don't need to see the loving smile on his face, but you hum an assent with a nod. He continues the massage down lower, stopping when pressure near your lower back has a soft yelp escaping you. "What's wrong with your back?"
"I don't know, honestly. It's been really stiff for a few days and I can't figure out how to work the muscles loose." You admit, biting your lower lip because you don't like Hongjoong worrying about you. When he applies pressure again, your body arches away a little.
"You probably need a break. How many days off have you had?" Your silence makes him pause and rest his chin on your shoulder. "Y/N?"
"I…I don't remember when my last full off day was." You make yourself admit, eyes closing in defeat.
"Are you scheduled tomorrow?"
"No, as long as I don't get called in."
"No, you will not go in tomorrow."
"But Hongjoong-"
"You need to rest. I am going to make sure you do just that." It's the authority in his voice that makes you turn to look at him, blinking a little.
"But you have practice, Joong."
"The guys will understand if I miss a practice to take care of you." Hongjoong answers, cupping your face again. "And I will always take care of you." After weeks apart for the group's promotional teasers and the photoshoots, you just need to share the same space with him, so you opt to lean against him for a long moment. "I love you, Y/N."
"I love you, too, Kim Hongjoong."
He moves to squeeze shampoo into his hand, fingers massaging the liquid into your hair to wash it. Letting him wash your hair lets your mind go blank for a bit. Things are always easy with him, the two of you always taking care of each other. The two of you don't need continuous sexual intimacy, just sitting together can be enough. You focus on the feeling of his hands in your hair, eyes closing as he works the shampoo in before reaching to detach the shower head so he can rinse your hair better. “Is it your conditioning day?”
“No, that’s tomorrow.” you reply, pausing a moment when the shower is turned off. “What about you?”
“I took a shower when I got home.” Hongjoong replies, leaning to press his lips to yours as he slides the shower door open.
“You literally got undressed just to bathe me?” You ask, giving your boyfriend a look.
“It’s the little things, baby.” Hongjoong counters, handing you a towel as you step from the shower. He wraps another around his waist, watching you dry off before handing you a smaller towel for your hair.
“Thank you,” You smile as you wrap the fabric around your hair, moving purposefully so as not to aggravate your back any more than necessary. When you manage to get your pajamas on, you reach out to pull Hongjoong towards you so you can kiss him properly. He returns the gesture before tapping the tip of his finger on your nose.
“Go get comfortable, okay? I’ll be there in a minute.” he insists, cupping one of your cheeks in his hand. You lean into the touch before nodding and stepping out to go to your room, moving to lay on your side, trying not to move in a way that hurts your already sore lower back. You’re able to listen as Hongjoong goes about the apartment, talking to Lunabelle even as the cat undoubtedly tried to make him fill her still half-full bowl. You hear the familiar sound of cups clinking, realizing he’s making tea. Not wanting him to be alone, though also just needing the comfort of his presence, you get up and walk out and join him. Lunabelle meows when she spots you, hopping up onto the breakfast bar that divides the kitchen from the living room. You reach up to pet her as you perch on one of the chairs. The sound is enough to draw Hongjoong’s attention from his current task, and while he gives you a look, he doesn’t scold you playfully as he would his members. Rather, he walks over to kiss your nose on his way to the living room, where he pulls a blanket from the large wicker basket by the chaise. He unfolds it as he walks back to you, draping the plush around your shoulders. “Three sugars, right?”
“Always. You know me so well.” You adjust the blanket to better enshroud your body, watching him as he moves about the kitchen with ease.
“I would hope so, after over a year.” Hongjoong answers, setting both of your cups up. He’s humming quietly to himself, and you’re sure that at some point, you’ll hear the track it’s connected to.
“How long are you here?”
“We wrapped up filming yesterday.” Hongjoong isn’t facing you, mixing the teas. “Got off the flight this morning and headed to the dorms. I only stayed long enough to drop my stuff off and gather a bag before I asked Yunho to bring me home.” His words are casual, but you can hear the smile in his tone.
“Y’know, technically the dorms are home.” you tease with a smile of your own.
“The dorm doesn’t have you.'' The counter reply doesn’t miss a beat, spoon set on a napkin as Hongjoong turns to bring your cups over, setting your favorite mug on the counter in front of you. “And I love the guys, but I love you more, Y/N.”
The words catch you off guard for a moment, but not because he’s never said them. Hongjoong tends to show his love in his actions. Flowers delivered to the restaurant where you work, little notes left on cards tucked through the mailslot, text messages of endearment each day when the two of you are apart for more than a few days. Hearing it isn’t necessary, but when you do hear it, it makes you feel like the most special person in the room.
“I love you, too.” You reply, lifting your cup to lightly sip at the hot liquid. “Everyone is going to be coming over at some point, right?”
“Hwa wants to do a live when he wakes up, but it’ll probably be tomorrow. Wooyoung was whining about missing you and Luna.”
“Of course he was, the chaos bubble.” You laugh a little to yourself, but you can’t say you don't miss the antics Wooyoung is capable of, especially when San is around. A single ice cube finds its way into the tea from a pair of small tongs held by your boyfriend, and you chuckle. “You spoil me, Joong.”
“As only you should be.” Hongjoong replied. “You deserve to be taken care of, even if you think you need to do it alone.” His fingers find your hair and pet through the damp strands, watching you as if you hung the moon. “And whether you like it or not, I will continue to spoil you until the day you believe me, and even after.” The two of you laugh a little, you nuzzle into his neck affectionately before you move to get up. “Couch?” he asks, helping you nudge the blanket off and carrying it as the two of you go to the couch. When he sits, you join him, curling into his warmth and letting your head rest on his shoulder. The blanket is brought up to cover you with one hand, his opposite arm wrapping around you. Once the two of you are settled into each other, he picks up the remote from the side table to go through and turn on the show the two of you had been watching. It’s a comforting time, neither of you being pressured to do anything more than just exist with the other. The stress of the day is basically forgotten, tucked into the safety of Hongjoong’s arms and the quiet noise of Luna purring from her perch on the back of the couch. After a few episodes, both of your phones go off, and you let Hongjoong sit up to grab his phone.
“Is it Hwa?” you ask, adjusting so you can watch Hongjoong’s phone with him. He nods as you both settle again, watching a still sleep dazed Seonghwa as he sips at a soda and begins talking. Dark hair is combed, but you’ve been around the member often enough that you can recognize the delay in the eldest member’s reaction as the comment section floods. At one point, San appears carrying food, and you can’t help the quiet laugh that escapes you because you know the younger men so well.
“They must have ordered food and then woke him up when it got there.” Hongjoong voices your thoughts with a laugh of his own, shaking his head a little.
You watch the antics as San settles in by the older man, the two chatting with each other and fans as they eat. San talks faster when he gets excited, so it’s a struggle for you to translate at times, but you manage to keep up. Despite wanting to watch the stream, you find yourself dozing against Hongjoong, slowly losing the ability to stay on track with what the guys are saying. A kiss to your head brings you more focused and your head tilts back so you can look at Hongjoong sleepily. “Hm?”
“Let’s go to bed. You need the rest for your head, and I haven’t slept since we landed this morning.” Hongjoong muses, nudging you up so he can take the blanket and pile it on top of the ones already in the basket. You don’t fight him as he helps you stand, lacing his fingers through yours and walking with you to the bedroom. Rather than turn on the overhead light, he reaches to press the button just above the switch, fairy lights spark to life in a dimmed setting around the top corners of the room. It’s just enough light to see by, and you make your way to the bed, pulling back the blankets to lay down. Hongjoong walks around the bed to pull the other side back, but he walks back around towards the door. “Hongjoong?” you ask, catching his attention.
“I’m just gonna turn the lights off, I’ll be right back.” he assured, leaning over to kiss you. “Just get comfortable, okay?” You let him go, curling into the chilled sheets. You recognize the sound of the lights being turned off, and sure enough, he returns to the room. It takes just a few moments for him to turn the string of lights off and join you, tugging at your hand gently until your head is on his chest. The sound of his heart beating makes you smile and one arm drapes over his waist.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Now get some rest, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”