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there were very few things in this life that could make ava coleman’s day. sure she got a little giggle here and there from a tiktok or found little pleasures in making fun of someone, but there were a very minuscule amount of things that could truly make her day. it wasn’t as if she were a generally unhappy person; she didn’t hate life- she just didn’t love it a bunch. she had been dealt a pretty shitty hand upon birth and had been bluffing her way through this fucked up poker game we call life ever since. she had learned a few tricks and strategies on how to stay afloat and she was making it. well, as best as she could be as a principal in a poorly funded school with only 5 competent teachers and a slew of mediocre ones. but she did it with a fake smile on her face and the most artificial confidence in the world. so you could understand why ms.coleman wasn’t the most sunshine-y person.
sunshine.
that was barbara. no not to everyone else. to everyone else janine was sunshine lollipops unicorns and rainbows. but to ava, barbara was sunshine. the sun rose and set on barbara howard.
see, barbara was one of the few things that could brighten ava’s day. when she walked into a room with a 1000 watt smile, ava’s heart sang. when she rolled over in the morning to tell ava ‘good morning’ there was a warmth that filled her body like no other. barbara was the one who made ava not hate life.
somedays if felt like there was a storm raging inside of ava. the many stressors of life crashing over her like waves hitting the sand. the thoughts in her mind swirling like the nastiest winds out above the ocean. all barbara had to do was be there. sit in her office, sit with her in the lounge, sit at home on the couch, lay beside her in bed - just be - and the winds stopped blowing and the waves stopped crashing and there would be peace. (Mark 4:39 “peace. be still. and the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” it was funny for ava to look back on that verse after hearing it for so many years taught in sunday school and during the church service and at bible study on wednesdays and prayer meetings and you name it- but it clicked when she was with barbara. barbara had been sent to her, and there was a great calm.) the sun would peak through the clouds and everything would be okay.
every day that ava got to spend with barbara was a blessing. and every night ava clung to her peace and prayed “please don’t take my sunshine away.”