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"Sei-chan?"
Whipping the last few drops of water from his forehead, Akashi's gaze shifted from the blue lines on his ribs to his teammate who called out for him. Mibuchi just came out of the shower, finally getting rid of the sweat from their last match against Seirin, their first loss of the whole Winter Cup. He expected to find his captain ready to leave, berating him for taking so long in the shower, and instead, he discovered the red head sitting on a bench, jacket and sweater still lying next to him with his t-shirt slightly rolled up, eyes focussed on his apparent soul tatoo ; two blue lines intertwining on his ribs. Akashi had been following one of the lines with the tip of his finger, delicately tracing the drawing as if wondering if the one he was connected to through those damn blue lines was still waiting for him. Mibuchi's heart clenched uncomfortably at the thought. Akashi could also be worried about stuff like that too, after all... His captain sighed and let his shirt down, lips stretching to a slightly pained smile.
"Yes, Mibuchi?" His teammate visibly winced at the name, making Akashi wonder if his prior behavior had been so awful that not using honorifics made even the softest of his older teammate flinch. Maybe he should apologize, after all, he did threaten them a bunch of times to triple their next training and he once even said he would gouge his own eyes if they lost a game. He could have chuckled at the insanity of that sentence had it not been actually a thing that happened.
"I'm sorry sempai, I-"
"Oh please Sei-chan, that's weird to hear you call me that, just call me Leo like you always did." Akashi seemed surprised at that and Mibuchi chuckled gently before sitting next to him. "How do you feel?" Akashi took several seconds before replying. How did he feel? Was Mibuchi really asking him that? That was one terrifying question, was he allowed to admit feeling so terrible after everything he did?
"Should I be honest?" He barely could voice his concern, not wanting for anyone to hear the vulnerability in his voice. He wasn't used to show weaknesses. He was taught to be proud, to be unwavering, to be strong. However, Mibuchi didn't seem to think any less of him. He merely smiled softly, as if encouraging him silently.
"By all means." Akashi sighed at his teammate's answer.
"I feel awful. There is so many people I have to apologize to. Like you and the Rakuzan team. I've been- I haven't been myself as you must have understood..." Akashi's red eyes settled on the wall, unsure how to get across his thoughts properly, "it's not an excuse because I know I've been awful. I've been anything but a good captain to the team." Mibuchi's surprise was so clear in his eyes that Akashi almost chuckled, "I know that me apologizing and admitting that must sound crazy and out of character to you after everything. It must feel like you've never really known... me. Though, I have to say that I've never felt more like myself than now." Akashi smiled, pain obvious on his lips "you asked how I feel? I feel like I failed you as a captain. I failed you as a teammate and as a captain when I should have been the one supporting the team." He sighed again, "I've been detestable, I wouldn't be surprised if most of the team's regulars quit the team after this loss. Even when being the worst version of myself, I still managed to let the team lose, what a joke of a tyrannical captain I've been." Akashi grinned annoyed because of fucking course they had to loose that match against Kuroko, didn't they? Maybe he wouldn't be back to himself had the match not gone like that. Yet, it didn't hurt less. The loss felt bitter on Akashi's tongue. Mibuchi looked at him curiously while a very slight frown grew on his features.
"You know, I think you're mistaken on some points. First, we've already met you. Maybe not fully back to yourself like now, but there was a few moments when you sounded a lot more like you do right now. Of course, the other side of you came out strongly during matches and when we were training but it wasn't all the time. I think you need to be kinder with yourself because sure, sometimes it sucked, but we also know that you aren't just that kind of person. Otherwise we wouldn't have followed you for a whole year, you know. We can hold our ground, too." Akashi chuckled at that, "you didn't fail us. You've been harsh and difficult, that's for sure, but you've also set high goals for the team, making us go through trainings we honestly didn't think we could do. And yeah, we lost a match, so what? We'll beat Seirin next time. We still reached the second place. I know it seems impossible for you to come second, but it happens." Akashi wanted to tell Mibuchi how much he dreaded going back to his father It was impossible to know what his reaction would be. Would his father prevent him from playing again? Would he seriously oppose to his practice of basketball? He couldn't tell, he sure hoped it wouldn't be the case.
"Honestly, I'm more worried about you." That made Akashi pause and look up. His eyes met the ones of his teammate and he wondered why he could read so much empathy for him in these.
"What... Do you mean?" Mibuchi didn't reply but his eyes fell on his covered ribs, clearly hinting about his earlier focus on his soul tattoo. Akashi's hand reflexively went to cover his skin even though the tatoo was not exposed any longer. He was wearing a t-shirt and yet, he felt as if anyone could see his mark. That was ridiculous, his other personality had not really cared about hiding it so his team had already seen it. Moreover, it made it all the more obvious that he was worried about his soulmate. Maybe Mibuchi wouldn't understand why, but it didn't matter to Akashi.
Because if Mibuchi didn't know who his soulmate was, Akashi was very much aware of the identity of his soulmate and he wasn't sure he had any right to still contemplate his soul mark with longing.
"It's the blue haired boy from Seirin, isn't it?"
Akashi blinked.
How did he... ?
After a few seconds of stupefaction, Akashi chuckled incredulously. He didn't even have the motivation to deny it, it didn't matter after all. Why would his soulmate even bother with him after everything he did?
"How did you even know?"
"Come on, you held hands a little bit too long for it to be purely platonic at the end of the game." Akashi raised a curious brow at Mibuchi's snort, "besides, his eyes said a lot... So much that I couldn't understand what was happening. He was almost impossible to read in game, but it suddenly seemed like he didn't care about staying neutral any longer when looking at you. It meant too much for me to understand but it made sense if my assumption about the two of you was to be true." That made Akashi's eyes widen a bit and he stared at Mibuchi for a few seconds.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Mibuchi asked, tilting his head curiously.
"I think you're the one who's mistaken, he most likely hates me by now."
Mibuchi blinked before bursting into laughter.
"Why are you laughing?" Akashi couldn't help but feel a tiny bit ridiculous now that his teammate was laughing at him. Maybe he shouldn't have talked about it at all. Would everyone laugh at him for caring so much about his soulmate ? Did that sound too strange for an Akashi?
"Sei-chan! I didn't think you could be so oblivious! Have you seriously not noticed how he looked at you at the end of the game? It looked like all he wanted to do was run to you. Even during the game when you weren't feeling well, he kept on glancing at you ; he clearly wanted to stay by your side and do something to help. I think he's very much whipped for you, you know? That's cute. He's cute, I approve." Akashi almost stuttered while Mibuchi talked because, how could he so simply tell him that Kuroko was whipped for him? They did use to be close, they used to have something going on, that much was true. They never named it, but they both knew. They knew they were soulmates and they never explicitly told the other but Akashi had hoped for something to happen between them.
And he had been the one to destroy it all.
"It's more complicated than that, I can't just run to him and ask him to forgive me." Smiling softly, Akashi couldn't help the bitterness that slipped in his voice.
"Why not?" Akashi didn't understand Mibuchi's question, how could he ask "why"?
"Haven't you... Seen the kind of person I've been? Maybe I had moments I was more lenient with the Rakuzan team. With Kuroko however..." He had been terrible. He had been cold, disregarded every single glance and question, breaking Kuroko's trust and breaking his spirit. Even during the game, his other personality had known it would hurt him to see Mayuzumi in action. He had known that feeling replaced by his soulmate would crush him down ; it had been one of his goal when he recruited Mayuzumi for his new team. He was his weapon against Kuroko, just in case their team would meet. It wasn't a question of power, it was a conscious use of their bond against Kuroko. Akashi knew exactly where he had to play his card to hurt his soulmate. He had known what he was doing, he was not blind. He probably could have stopped it. But he didn't. He had wanted to see Kuroko's reaction, had wanted to see his determination crushed with his soul.
What kind of soulmate could want to hurt their other half so badly?
"You probably hurt him, but it didn't look like he gave up on you at all." Mibuchi's words rang in Akashi's brain with dissonance, as if his words held no meaning. That couldn't be true. Kuroko had to hate him. Akashi would have hated him had they swapped positions and- "If I'm honest, Sei-chan, I think he was fighting so hard to win the match because he had something to prove to you. And that's not the behavior of someone who hates their soulmate." Akashi blinked a few times at Mibuchi before looking down, lip caught between his teeth, unsure of what to say.
He could admit that he understood what Mibuchi meant. However...
"But I did everything I could to hurt him. I hurt his childhood friend to hopefully separate them, I didn't try to hold the Teiko team together hoping that he would stop trying so hard to keep us all together, I've hurt his teammate from Seirin because of pure jealousy, I modeled Mayuzumi-sempai after him so that I could hurt him during the game, to prove that I didn't need him any longer fully knowing this was already a sensitive topic for him with his low presence and how often people overlooked him." Mibuchi winced at that one. That must have been quite the blow for the Seirin phantom now that he thought of it, "I... I've been nothing but awful to him. I don't see how he could still want me as his soulmate."
Ah, so that was the issue. His captain was insecure and believed that his soulmate didn't want him any longer.
That was a new side of Akashi, but Mibuchi could somewhat grasp why. What he didn't understand though was that if the situation was so dire between them, why would Kuroko look so happy when Akashi held his hand? Why would he try so hard to defeat them if he didn't care? Why was Akashi so affected if he was so sure that Kuroko wouldn't take him back? They must have been close before all of that happened for the both of them to be so emotional. So why didn't Akashi trust what they used to have a little bit more?
Maybe that wasn't the right way to put it but Mibuchi couldn't help but ask :
"Why are you deciding that for him?" It wasn't what Akashi had in mind, but it did sound like that now that Mibuchi said it aloud.
"I'm not... I mean, I don't know what he's thinking obviously but-"
"Then what are you still doing here?" Mibuchi cut him off and Akashi wasn't sure if his astonishment was caused by his words or because it was the first time the older dared cutting him off.
"Huh?"
"Shouldn't you be running after him and ask him if he'd have you, if he'd let you have another chance with him then?" Akashi blinked, feeling his cheeks warm up at the thought. Him? Running after Kuroko? It would be quite out of character, yet at the same time... Would it really be? "If you don't know what he thinks about all of that, shouldn't you ask him?"
"So you suggest I just leave every precaution behind and ask him to take me back?" Wording it made it seem even more ridiculous to Akashi. There was no way Kuroko would just take him back.
"Why shouldn't you? Are you going to give up on him even when he obviously didn't for a whole year? Isn't he your one and only soulmate? Are you going to let your guilt break your bond?" Akashi was speechless. He couldn't really imagine himself have his happy ending with Kuroko however... However it did leave a bitter taste to imagine himself going home without even trying to talk with him.
He had to try.
But did he have the right to?
"Reo, I don't think-"
"Obviously you should stop overthinking so much, just go to him!" Mibuchi got up, grabbed his arm and lifted him up. Akashi looked at him as if he was going crazy. "I'm serious! You're lucky to have met your soulmate already. You fucked up with him? Then make it up to him. Be the best fucking soulmate of the world from now on. It's not gonna erase what you did, but that's the least you can do for him after everything he did to beat some sense into you!" Mibuchi did look mad the more he talked and Akashi could see what he meant. He could see it, and understand the logic behind but...
Fear held him back.
Nonetheless, Mibuchi was having none of it. Pushing him from the shoulders, he led Akashi out of their changing room and look at him pointedly.
"I..."
"You go find your soulmate, Akashi. He deserves that you put yourself out of your comfort zone for him. Try harder if you fear losing him that much."
Akashi took a step back, inhaled, nodded almost imperceptibly, and ran without looking back. He ran, hoping that the Seirin team had not already left. He came across their changing room finding it empty. He swore silently before going to the closest window he could find that would let him see if their bus was still there.
He searched for it, quickly finding it but also finding the team right next to it, apparently still talking outside since they seemed to have their bags with them. He wouldn't make it if they were to leave soon. They'd be gone already. He laughed bitterly, angry at himself, but he wouldn't let that stop him. Quite the opposite.
Opening one of the windows, Akashi mentally chuckled because when Mibuchi told him to get out of his comfort zone, his teammate probably didn't think he'd do what he was about to do but somehow, his urgency pushed him to do the first thing he could think of to make sure the phantom player wouldn't leave so quickly. He closed his eyes as he yelled as loudly as he could :
"KUROKO!" Akashi didn't let anyone's surprised gaze faze him. Panting a bit, he noticed that the whole team from Seirin was searching for the one who called for their teammate and the only one who had caught the sight of him was the very person he was calling for. Akashi grinned victoriously.
The red head grabbed his phone and typed as quickly as he could "wait for me" before sprinting again, looking for the closest exit he could reach. He ran into Mibuchi who tried to tell him something but Akashi didn't listen, he just ran toward the exit until he finally reached it, praying that Kuroko had indeed waited for him.
Out of breath, Akashi stopped abruptly once he reached the door of the gymnasium, noticing the blue haired boy looking straight in his eyes from outside. Akashi tried to soothe down his frantically beating heart as he pushed the entry door opened and stopped a few steps before Kuroko. The whole thing was overly dramatic, Akashi kind of hated himself for going with Mibuchi's words now that he was facing a very confused Kuroko.
"Akashi-kun?"
He could notice the Seirin team a little further in the parking lot, obviously curious as to what was happening but he paid them no mind.
Instead, Akashi went straight to the point.
"We're soulmates." Akashi finally said it and it felt relieving. Hearing some people gasping around them, he wished this didn't have to happen so publicly but he had wasted too much time already. It was stupid, but neither of them actually voiced it. It was a known fact between them. But neither had ever acknowledged it as such, as if worried it would mean more than what they were ready for. Kuroko's eyes seemed to widen slightly before a gentle smile settled on his lips.
"We are." Kuroko's voice was soft, barely above a whisper and Akashi was left a bit shaken by the emotion a could hear in it. He continued nonetheless:
"I've been awful to you." Once again it seemed that Kuroko was taken aback by Akashi's words and the shorter player momentarily looked down before looking back at Akashi with a determination the latter wasn't expecting.
"You have." Ah, so Kuroko wouldn't help him out, would he? Even if he had probably already figured what Akashi meant behind those words, Kuroko wanted to hear it.
Well, he would.
"I'm aware that I'm in no position to ask for your forgiveness or to want to start over but I'm going to be selfish and ask for another chance to be your soulmate." Kuroko almost lost his footings and Akashi wondered what kind of words had he been waiting for exactly, "I probably don't deserve it but I can't just walk away without trying." Maybe it was desperation but he was mentally praying for Kuroko not to flat out refuse him. He could take his time, ask him to wait, disregard his proposition for a while, but Akashi would do anything for him to at least consider it one day.
"Sure."
He would go as far as to let him treat-
What?
"What?" Dumbfounded, Akashi didn't think he heard that correctly.
"I said sure. Do you know when we could meet up?" And once more, Kuroko left him speechless, unable to give a proper answer while he tried to grasp what was happening.
"I... Tonight?" Kuroko gave him a soft smile before crouching down to take Nigou in his arms.
"Sounds good to me. You still have my number, so call me later so that we can set a meeting place, alright?" Akashi quietly nodded, disbelief written all over his face and Kuroko chuckled softly before simply turning back, and ushering his team in their bus. Once he had actually settled down, he waved at Akashi before he was visibly asked a bunch of questions by his team. The bus left quickly, maybe too quickly for Akashi to realize what had happened before he felt someone patting his shoulder.
"Well, you got a date Sei-chan, we should hurry back to the hotel for you to change!"
Now what the fuck just happened?