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"I'm royally fucked, dude."
Kenny's laid himself across Kyle's lap on his bed like a lap cat and he sighs dramatically, throwing his arm over his eyes. He has a quiz paper in his hand and there's a big red "F" circled on the front with so many annotations also scribbled in red. It's overkill, really.
"You're not fucked, you'll be fine. It's just one quiz." Kyle's got a book in his hands and he's got his reading glasses on, which he had to get recently, much to his own dismay. Kenny doesn't miss any opportunity to tell him that he looks cute in them but he hates the way they keep sliding down his nose all the time. They're almost as much of a distraction as his boyfriend is being right now.
"Kyle, babe, you don't get it. You're a total nerd, you're smooth sailing." Kyle scoffs but Kenny keeps going. "If I don't pass my trig class then I can't take calculus next year. And then I won't graduate. Or I'll have to do fucking summer school. Do you even know how lame summer school is?"
"Summer school can't be that bad," Kyle sighs, staring at the words in his book without actually reading them anymore. He can't exactly do that when Kenny is groaning and moping.
"It's so bad!" Kenny whines, kicking his feet in the air like he's about to throw a tantrum. Jesus Christ. "It's so fucking lame without you guys there and it means I won't be able to pick up extra shifts. I can't do that shit again, man."
Kyle snaps his book shut and drops it on Kenny's stomach, making him huff out a little, "oof."
"I'm literally right here, Ken. If you want to ask me for help, I'm not gonna turn you away."
"But you're so busy. You got so much shit going on all the time, I don't wanna bug you." Despite that, he's looking up at him with what Kyle can only describe as big puppy eyes. Reverse psychology.
"You already bug me anyway. A little bit of tutoring isn't gonna kill me."
"Rude," Kenny huffs. "It just might. I'm a terrible student." Kenny rolls over to mush his face into his bed, mumbling. "But if you insist."
Kyle rolls his eyes and pats his back, though they're more like smacks as if he's gently smacking some sense into him. "Yeah, yeah. We can fix this...probably. We're kind of pressed for time but if you can at least pass your tests, you should be able to pull your grade up enough."
"Ughhhh." Kenny turns his head so he doesn't end up smothering himself. "The fate of my non-existent future depends on you."
"Oh, so no pressure, then," Kyle snorts and ruffles Kenny's hair. "C'mon, we can start by going over this quiz first if that helps."
Kenny finally pulls himself up so he can sit beside him and he hands Kyle the quiz, stifling a yawn. Kyle looks at the paper for about two seconds before he turns to Kenny, raising a brow at him.
"Kenny, you can't just write 'idk' with a smiley face when they ask you to show your work."
"I wasn't just gonna leave it blank."
"On every question??"
"Kyle, I have no idea what I'm doing. Like, at all. I'm in deep shit."
"Clearly," Kyle sighs, shaking his head.
He's got his work cut out for him.
--
Things have been slow in South Park, crime-wise, which is a blessing. It means Kenny gets to spend more time with Kyle as himself, studying away even though it makes him want to pull his hair out. He always cracked jokes about how Kyle's wasting his time with it and now he's the one in a heap of shit from slacking off. He's busy too! But now he has to shift his priorities just a bit and it's soooo boring. Go to school, study with Kyle at lunch instead of sneaking out back to smoke (though he's recently decided to cut back severely anyway because Kyle refuses to kiss him with "ash mouth" and he pouts every time), go to work, and then collapse in bed. Rinse and repeat. The mundaneness of it all should be nice but it's still boring.
When Kenny gets a ping on his phone requesting Mysterion's help tonight, he can't help but feel a little bit excited. He's already settled himself in bed but he's not going to turn his city down when she calls for him. He hops up and gets changed before disappearing out the window, already feeling adrenaline starting to pump through his veins as he runs.
He needs some excitement tonight.
--
"Psst. I know you're up."
"God!"
Kyle jumps in his seat, his glasses slipping right off his face and clattering onto his desk. Every. Damn. Time. He still gets startled every time Kenny shows up in his room at night. Maybe he will end up killing him if he doesn't get used to it and ends up finally having a heart attack.
Kyle turns to glare at the window but he doesn't see anybody there and he tilts his head. Was that a false alarm? He should really be heading to bed if he's starting to hear things.
"Silent treatment, huh? An' I thought we had a good thing going."
"Where are you?" Kyle pushes himself up and wanders over to the empty window, and when he sees a head pop down from the top of it he nearly screams.
"Shhhh! You're gonna wake up the whole damn street." A hand ends up pressed to his mouth and he realizes that maybe he did scream. Fuck. What the hell is his boyfriend doing hanging upside down?
When Kenny pulls his hand back and smirks at him, Kyle sputters. "Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"
"Okay, so hear me out." Oh jeez. "I just came back from kicking some ass and I had the best idea."
Kyle can only look at him in confusion, watching Kenny's cape flowing gently in the wind as his face slowly starts to get redder from being upside down. "But we gotta hurry. I'm already getting kinda dizzy."
"Then get down?"
"No no, you see," Kenny pauses to turn his head so he can spit his gum out somewhere in Kyle's yard. The audacity. "It hit me out of nowhere that we haven't had a proper Spider-Man kiss yet. And I thought, damn, that's kind of fucked up. We should really fix that."
Kyle has half a mind to push him and let him fall in the snow.
"...What??"
"Kyle, love. Just humor me. I need my bombshell redheaded babe to smooch me right now. It'd be so much cooler if it were raining but I don't control the weather."
"How are you even doing that right now?" Kyle gestures wildly at the window.
"Don't worry about how I'm doing it. Just worry about planting one on me already."
Kyle rolls his eyes, grabbing Kenny's face and hating how his own is starting to heat up. This is so fucking stupid.
"Aw, dude!" Kyle scrunches his nose up, turning his head away. "I'm not doing this when you have ash mouth!"
"Oh, get over it. I stuck like, three pieces of gum in my mouth at the same time just for you. And that shit's gotten more expensive lately so you'd better not let em go to waste."
Kyle groans and looks at him for a moment longer, mentally psyching himself up. Kenny's starting to fidget a bit and he can tell that if he doesn't hurry it up, he actually might end up falling.
Fuck it.
He sucks in a breath to hold as he kisses him while Kenny lets out a content sigh from his nose, leaning into Kyle as best he can while being fucking upside down. He's the most ridiculous person he's ever met and that's really saying something. But he can't deny that even though he can still detect hints of cigarette smoke on him...this is pretty sweet. The position is hella awkward, but it's not the worst kiss they've shared by any means. Kenny had accidentally coughed up blood into his mouth once when he was dying and it made Kyle refuse to kiss him for a week. He still feels shivers running down his spine every time he brushes his teeth. He'd take this over that any day.
When he finally pulls back he sees Kenny grinning widely in the moonlight, and he can't deny that it makes him feel a little sense of pride. Even if this is really stupid.
"There," Kyle huffs out. "Did that satisfy your weirdass fantasy?"
"Oh, yeah," Kenny chuckles, pulling himself up and out of view. Without much warning or gracefulness, he swings himself into Kyle's room. He hits the floor, hard, but he's still smiling up at Kyle. "I can totally sleep easy now."
"You're unbelievable," Kyle nudges him with his foot, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You love it," Kenny winks up at him, and then he winces when Kyle delivers a soft kick to his shin.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm totally in love with the idea of you pulling weird acrobatic shit just to reenact a cheesy movie scene."
"An iconic cheesy movie scene. Probably the most iconic kiss, like, ever. You're welcome, by the way. Bet none of our friends have thought of trying it before." Kenny pushes himself up and goes back to the window but he doesn't leave just yet, staying perched on the windowsill.
"None of them would be stupid enough to pull a stunt like that."
"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that when you're the one that went along with it. You just can't resist me, ash mouth and all." Damn it.
"I hate you." Kyle does his best to try and stomp down the blush creeping up his ears but it's a useless fight.
"Sure, babe."
Kenny looks like he's about to make his way back out but Kyle steps forward, grabbing his arm. "Wait. Did you...get hurt at all? When you were out there?"
Kenny blinks, shaking his head. He used to hate it before, the way Kyle would worry about him. It was a waste of his time and mental energy. But something about the fact that he continues to worry despite knowing he's immortal...well now it just makes his heart flutter. That was the empathy he's been missing his whole life.
"Nah. I wouldn't have been able to pull that shit off if I was super injured." He did have to wait around for his nose to stop bleeding after getting socked in the face so he didn't get any blood on Kyle, but nothing worth worrying him over. If his nose is broken and it actually kind of really hurt when Kyle bumped it with his chin when they kissed, well. That's a problem for later. It was so worth it.
"Okay, good." Kyle still looks like he's scrutinizing him though, because Kenny will severely undermine anything that's wrong with him. Laughing things off is his specialty because he's still not used to being taken care of. If Kyle's noticed any of the blood staining his suit from his previously bloodied nose, he doesn't comment on it.
Kenny leans over to press another kiss to his lips, cupping his cheek in his gloved hand and swallowing up the pleased sigh Kyle lets out. Kenny's almost offended that he seems happier to be kissing him while upright. After the stunt he pulled? Kyle should feel honored. He's not actually upset, though he does nip at his lip enough to earn a startled yelp in response.
Kenny snickers and gently pats at the hand on his arm until Kyle lets go. "I'll see you later, MJ."
The hand comes back up to push at his face, surely to make Kenny look away so he can't see how flustered Kyle is. Too late, Kenny caught a glimpse of how red his ears were. "Oh my god, get out of here."
"Love you, too!" Kenny hops down from his window in lieu of just climbing down and Kyle winces when he hears a soft, pained groan. He watches him shake himself off and wave up at him with a silly grin before starting to book it back to his house, not missing the way one of his legs has a concerning limp all of a sudden.
What an idiot.