Archive of Our Own ^beta

“You’re staring at her.”

You nudge the arm of your Lieutenant with your elbow as he is, indeed, staring at the bartender across the room.

 

But can you blame him? She is beautiful and looks fierce with the way her clothes hug her curves. Not to mention her breathtaking smile.

Everything you don’t see when you look at yourself in the mirror. Well, you once did. But life doesn’t always treat you the way you like it.

If it would, you wouldn’t be sitting here, your muscles still aching from the last mission and your skin craving his touch. You would be way closer to him, just like all these countless nights he visited your dreams.

 

He takes a big swig of his glass and pulls his mask back down before he fumbles with the glass in his hand as he sets it down on the table in front of him. "I'm not… staring." Yet, he can't take his eyes off of her.

"Sure not." You chuckle sweetly, but his attention is still on her. "Then what would you call it?"

His mask moves. He knows you're right but there's no way he'd admit it. You try to prepare yourself for his answer taking a sip from your glass. But it fails.

With a low and calm voice his jaw unclenches and a single word leaves his lips. "Observing."

He sighs as his gaze moves towards the watch on his wrist.

"Come on, we gotta go." Letting his eyes roam over her curves one last time, he gets up from the bench and steps out of the booth.

You follow him quickly, immediately reaching inside of your pocket to get your purse. “Tonight’s on me. Wait outside, I’m gonna pay real quick.” A soft smile tugs on your lips which he acknowledges with a nod before he turns around and leaves.

 

The second you reach the counter, the bartender turns towards you with a smile.

God, she's even prettier from up close.

"You're leaving already?" Her gentle voice lets your heart skip a beat as if she's a siren, calling for you to like her. To admire her.

You can't help but mimic her smile, well, at least you try as you fumble inside of you purse to get the cash out. "Yeah, gotta get up early tomorrow."

You hand her the cash, together with a little piece of paper with Simon’s name and his number on it.

"He's… special. Don't be too hard with him."

Quickly turning around you decide to give her no chance to respond, your smile quickly fading with each second you're getting closer to the door.

 

A few weeks pass with mission after mission keeping you busy, but you can't help but notice a subtle shift in his behavior.

Stolen glances towards his phone, quickly followed by a movement of the lower part the fabric on his face. His fingertips moving over the screen almost at lightning speed.

The sound of heavy boots meeting the gravel below them slowly turned into silence as the others went inside of the base, leaving only the two of you outside. Your own little ritual. The first cigarette after a success shared with a good friend.

"You okay?" The smoke leaves your lungs as you exhale, your gaze locked on him. His locked on his phone.

After what feels like an eternity he finally looks up at you, the unlit cigarette still hanging between his fingers.

"Hmm? Yeah, sure." His eyes leave yours as fast as they met them, only to go back to the screen again. "Hey, you wanna go back to the bar tonight?"

You notice that he wasn't asking you because he wanted you to be there. He was just polite, since it was what you were doing when your next day wasn't packed with training sessions, briefings or another mission.

And you hesitate. Intended. Trying to find out if he actually awaits an answer.

Seconds pass which feel like a minute, maybe even more, before he looks up at you again.

"So?"

"Sure. Won't hurt."

But it does. And he doesn't notice.

 

"You're staring again." No nudge. No smile.

At least not on your lips.

"Maybe."

He shifts on his seat, sitting up straight and you see her walking over with that smile again.

But you can't smile. Your heart aches to much to do so. But at the end you're a good friend, forcing yourself to stay polite.

She doesn't even notice you as she steps closer until she's standing right besides him. "You're leaving soon?"

"We are." Your voice leaves your lips sharper than you intended. But as you get up from your seat, not a single head moves into your direction, nor do their eyes leave each other.

A tap of her fingertip against his hand is all it takes to roll your eyes before she even starts talking again. "Tonight's on me. Already payed for your drinks."

“Thanks, darling.” he says as his mask moves again, like he was smiling under it.

He doesn't get up from his seat.

And she doesn't leave.

Instead, she leans down towards him, brushing her hand over his arm.

"So, uhm… My shift ends in about an hour. I was thinking… Maybe I could take you up on your offer and we could have one last drink at my place?"

Again, the movement of his mask caused by his lips curling up into a smile.

"I guess I'm staying a bit longer, Y/N. See you tomorrow."

“You’re staring at her.”

You nudge the arm of your Lieutenant with your elbow as he is, indeed, staring at the bartender across the room.

But can you blame him? She is beautiful and looks fierce with the way her clothes hug her curves. Not to mention her breathtaking smile.

Everything you don’t see when you look at yourself in the mirror. Well, you once did. But life doesn’t always treat you the way you like it.

If it would, you wouldn’t be sitting here, your muscles still aching from the last mission and your skin craving his touch. You would be way closer to him, just like all these countless nights he visited your dreams.

 

“Ah, shut up, Y/N.” he grumbles as he finally manages to take his eyes off of her and shift s his gaze towards the glass in his hands.

You shrug at his response and lean back into the leather of the bench inside of the booth , his cold response nothing new for you . “Just saying. Maybe you should go over and talk to her.”

He follows you, leaning back with his hands resting on his thighs, but his body still tense.

“And say what exactly? Hey, Lieutenant Simon Riley, nice to meet you.” His voice is obviously intended to mock you and your cheerful appearance, the same way he always did when you were alone.

A chuckle leaves your lips as you turn and shift your body to look at him , just a little bit closer . “That’s what normal people do when they want to get to know someone.”

He only gives you a low grumble from deep inside of his chest and a darting look in response, hoping that you’d finally shut up and stop trying to get him to talk someone. Because he simply doesn't want to.

 

In another life, this would’ve been the moment you’d keep staring in those dark eyes and let them drown you. Pull you down into the abyss that they were holding, no matter what would’ve been waiting for you.

And maybe, in another life, he would have let you. Maybe he would’ve even made the first move.

 

With a roll of your eyes you shift closer towards him, brushing your knee against his. “What’s stopping you? Just get to know her.”

That damn smile of yours. Even if it is fake.

“I’d rather not.” Again, only a low grumble as he shifts in his seat, moving his hips down a bit more so that only his shoulders are leaning against the bench.

But he doesn’t pull his leg back. No, he even parts them more, softly pressing his thigh against your knee.

Accidentally, like always.

“But why? You managed to talk to me and look where we are now.” A dangerous mix, that smile with your soft voice right before you laugh. You shift in your seat, leaning forward a bit more, pulling your leg back.

He notices. His eyes dart towards your knee, up towards his glass again.

“That’s different, Y/N. You’ve been a pain in my ass and I was about to knock you out if you’d kept talking that day.” A twitch of his mask betrays him, giving you a hint that he forces himself not to smile.

The second he stops talking, his eyes roam around the bar again. Desperately searching for something, anything.

“Still, look where we are now.” you chuckle as you clink your glasses on the table to ease up the tension. But it fails.

“Sergeant…”

“Nu-uh!” You quickly interrupt him, tugging on both of your shirts at the same time. “No ‘pulling the rank’ bullshit when where not wearing our uniforms, remember?”

 

He doesn’t respond. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He’s annoyed.

Right?

 

Your body is already in motion as you get up and start to talk. “Well, if you don’t talk to her, maybe I should do it for you ?”

You can’t even react as he reaches out for your wrist and pulls you back down again, almost making your head bump against his chest.

“Seriously. I don’t want to talk to her.” he whispers as he looks down on you, his eyes quickly darting between yours like he is afraid that he might lose something of them.

They finally found what they were looking for.

 

“Then why have you been staring at her?”

He hesitates. Pressing his lips into a small line before parting them again and taking a deep breath. That damn mask always betraying him.

“Because I don’t know what happens if I keep looking at you.”

The clicking of the lock being turned sends a shiver down your spine and he leaves you no time to react or say another word. His hand leaves the lock and immediately finds his mask to pull it over his lips to crash them against yours, capturing them in a rough and intense kiss. Pushing it between them, his tongue parts your lips to seek your own. The whole situation has changed with the blink of an eye and now you find yourself with your back pressed against the wall, Simon’s hands on your cheek and your waist, his chest pressed flush against yours and his lips on yours.

 

The intensity of his touch and his kisses is enormous, like he’s a starving man finally able to get his hands on a three stars five course menu. And that’s literally what you are for him. The one thing he craved for so long, with his own mind keeping him from reaching out and just taking what’s right in front of him, unable to bear the consequences that might come. The one thing he never dared to think that wants him, too.

 

Soft grunts join his heavy breaths with each second passing by, his hands never leaving your body for once, instead seeking the warmth of your skin underneath your shirt. His hands are rough, his fingertips grazing your soft skin as he keeps moving, leaving red marks on each inch he touches.

 

“I promise -“ he breathes out in between kisses before his lips leave yours and move towards your ear, his hot breath brushing over your neck. “Gonna make sure to treat you the way you deserve it, make you cum over and over again. But right now, I just need to have you.” While he speaks, his hands move towards the hem of your jeans, hastily unbuttoning them but not pulling them down. Instead, he looks at you, his eyes darting between yours, seeking for any sign of hesitation.

 

Shit, you know he’s a brute of a man, an unstoppable force, powerful and intimidating. But the way he looks at you, hesitating and seeking for your permission to keep going… It awakens a whole new vision of the man in front and a strange new feeling inside of you. This isn’t just about blowing off some steam or physical attraction. This is… different. Who would’ve thought that this man could tell so much with his eyes?

 

With this new feeling inside of you, driven by the fire it ignites, you reach out for his belt, unbuckling it with the same urgency he just opened your pants. His own are opened just as fast and his hand quickly slips inside of your panties, a small grin tugging on his lips. “Quiet, love.” he growls as his fingers begin to move over your clit and the first moan leaves your mouth. “We don’t want to entertain the whole bar.”

 

His lips find yours again, returning to the intense kisses to muffle your moans and swallow them as he keeps drawing circles on your clit at a perfect pace. He pushes his hand further, his middle finger pushing between your folds to find its new home in your soaked core, slowly pushing in and out. Your body writhes between him and the wall behind you as you try to keep quiet, but the second he adds his ring finger, you break the kiss and a loud moan as leaves your body. “Fuck,” he chuckles as he presses his hand over your mouth to shut you up and he keeps on going, plunging his fingers in and out of you. “never thought you’d be so eager.”

 

Just a few seconds later, he quickly withdraws his fingers from you, leaving you aching for more as he licks them clean with a satisfied grin on his lips and his eyes closed. “Come here.” Placing another few deep kisses on your lips he pulls you away from the wall before he guides you to turn around until you’re forced to turn your head away from him as he pushes your pants down to your ankles.

 

He buries his nose in the crook of your neck, his teeth grazing the soft skin. “Hate that we gotta do it like that, love.” his voice rumbles inside of your ear and god, does it leave you speechless. “But I can’t help it anymore.” If anyone’s voice alone could get you off, you know  by now that it would be his. Yes, you hate it too, but right now you’d let him do anything with you. He leans back, his hand on your back inching upwards, pressing your chest forward surprisingly gentle as the other one leaves your hips, brushing over the curves of your ass until the rustling sound of fabric fills the air.

 

Slow but steady he enters you, spreading your cunt with his full length inch by inch, forcing a low moan out of both of you. If you’d only knew what your sweet sounds are doing to him. How they make his head spin in the best way possible, almost pushing him already to the edge. “So… tight…” he growls in between his low moans, slowly pushing himself in an out to let you adjust to his size and hold himself together. And lord, are you grateful for that. Even at this slow pace, he hits all of the right spots, forcing moan after moan out of you which he again muffles with his hand. “Christ, you feel good, love. Fuck.” His last word is accentuated with a deep and forceful thrust to introduce you to his new pace, his hand on your hip holding you in place as his fingertips bury themselves in your flesh. Deep. Fast. Almost too deep. Almost too fast. But he manages to keep the right pace between pleasure and pain, alternating each second, each thrust.

 

He revels in the sight of his length disappearing inside of you, how it’s slowly starting to glisten as your sweet juices start to cover it, how your ass ripples as the sound of his skin slapping against your skin fills the air. Combined with your moans, it’s the sweetest music to his ears which he swears he’ll make sure to hear over and over again from this night on. He’s never been so pussy-drunk but he realizes that he’s already addicted to it. Addicted to everything you have to give, to everything you are. Lost in the moment, he almost doesn't hear the door being opened, but the second your hand touches his skin on his abdomen he slowls down, almost stopping in his thrusts as he hears the music from outside of the bathroom getting louder and quieter again. As the whistles of the man cover your heavy breathing, Simon let's go of your mouth and gently grabs your throat, applying just enough pressure to pull your shoulders back against his chest and your head right against his own throat. "Quiet, love." His breath fannes against your ear as he leans down and whispers with a soft chuckle, his eyes roaming over your arched body while stilll keeping his slow pace.

 

It feels like torture for both of you, unable to fully give in to the desire, to let it drown you, to give in to the need of release which already consumes you. But none of you is willing to catch the attention of the man currently taking a piss, although the thought of everyone knowing that you're his is tempting. Almost too tempting. But at the end, it's almost more thrilling to hide and let the possibility of getting caught highten your senses. All of your senses. And he loves the power he has over you, providing you a new level of pleasure while forcing you to stay quiet… and how you so obediently follow his order. He never smiled when he had a woman before, never felt so addicted, torn and whole at the same time. It's a mix of emotions, tugging his lips up into a smile he had sworn himself to let no one see again.

 

Time seems to stand still as it feels like forever for the man on the other side of the door to finish his business, but Simon doesn't think about stopping, or going easy on you. The way you press your eyes shut and bite your lower lip… He want's more and he knows just how to get it. Just as you think it can't get any worse, or better, he moves his hand from your hip to your front, his middle finger drawing circles on your clit to join his thrusts in the pleasure he provides. A sharp inhale is all it takes for him to know that you're about to loose control, which is why his hand quickyl leaves your throat again to muffle those sweet sounds he'd love to hear in their full volume, pushed out of you from deep inside. He leans in again, his lips only inches away from your ear as he tries to keep his voice as quiet as possible. “You close?” Lord… If you'd have your eyes opened he'd see them roll back, but all you can manage to give in response is a quick nod.

 

Like your prayers had been heard, you barely hear the music getting louder and quieter again, signalizing the mans departure. And Simon hears it too as he lets go off your mouth, sliding his hand down to your throat again. He loves the way your walls start to clench around him, slowly getting tighter with each forcefull thrust of the quicker pace he picks up. His own orgasm is imminent, but he won't let himself have his release until you got your own, knowing that he'd put you in this situation without much of a choice, he won't leave you unsatisfied. As if he could ever think about it.

 

“Let go, love. Cum for me.”

 

It only takes him a few more thrusts until he feels your body quivering against his and your walls pulsating around him as loud cries of pleasure leave your lips. His grip on your throat tightens, intensifying the impact of your orgasm rippling through your body and just taking enough air to almost silence your cries. “F -f uck…” his own orgasm flashes over him as he hisses through gritted teeth. God, how he would love to see your full face and hear those beautiful sounds as he spills his seed inside of you, gradually slowing down his pace.

 

His head falls down on your shoulder, his breath hot against your neck as his chest heaves heavily against your back. None of you is sure if he’s holding you, with both of his arms wrapped around your chest, or if he’s holding on to you. Either way, you both slowly catch your breath as he starts to pepper kisses against your neck, his hips still painfully slowly pushing forward against your ass. “You did… so good, darling… Christ… Took me so well,… like you were made for me.” The way his breath brushes over your skin as he speaks with his hoarse voice sends a shiver down your spine. “I wanna… take you back… and… and show you.. what else I have in store for you.” Your legs are still shaking as you feel him already getting hard inside of you again, his thrusts getting more urgent before he completely buries himself  one last time and pulls back.

 

The way he slowly lets go off you, moving his hands with a feather-light touch over your skin from your stomach to your hips, over the soft curves of your ass and down your legs, where he grabs your clothes and pulls them back up, leaves you speechless. It’s like he’s switching personalities, from rough and distanced, to soft and caring, over and over again. And it’s… exciting. Knowing that he’s capable of both. As soon as your pants are back in place, he grabs your waist to turn you around, his amber eyes immediately locked with yours. “Look at you, my love.” The words leave his lips in a low rumble with his lips tugged into a grin as he brushes a strand of loose hair out of your face. “I can’t wait to make a mess out of you and hear you scream my name.”