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Seungcheol watched Wonwoo engrossed in his game, wearing a headset with pink cat ears that Seungcheol spent hours picking and gifted on his birthday.
Sometimes it isn’t even Wonwoo’s fault, but it hurts so much. And it’s very embarrassing that his skin burns whenever Seungcheol tries to speak about it.
“Oh hyung, the takeout is here? You can eat your meal first, I’ll join you in a bit” Wonwoo’s voice was too loud, probably because he always has the game volume so high. When it was quiet again, Seungcheol noticed that Wonwoo didn’t even bother to take his headset off. As if asking Seungcheol to eat without him is a lowly off-hand comment and nothing else. He doesn't think gaming is the problem because Seungcheol himself games quite often. And he knows having fun with it is okay but to the point of ignoring him and the food they ordered together? That's reaching a point that nobody thinks is healthy. If Seungcheol is bad for expecting the bare minimum, that is, wanting to eat together, he doesn't mind being the bad but it's still embarrassing.
So he said nothing, he simply took the boxes of food and sat down at the dining table, the cold dining table which used to be a place where they sat and gossiped or just laughed at Seungcheol’s jokes. Yes, Seungcheol mostly talks while Wonwoo listens and he only chooses to speak when he has to call out Seungcheol for being such an oversharer.
He really doesn’t want to say they “lost their spark” because that’s stupid. Wonwoo loves him always, yes, they do have times when they can’t spend time together and would rather have their personal space because of the difference in their interests and hobbies but-
Seungcheol sighed, last night he went down this pipeline of thought he felt like curling into himself until he was a ball of muscles, blood, and other things so he would shut the fuck up because he’s so talkative and Wonwoo likes silence-
Okay, food. Thoughts can happen, but he first needs food for thought.
Another sigh, that’s a joke Wonwoo would enjoy. Seungcheol hates himself, mostly.
Wonwoo loves him all the same even though they’re just best friends.
Sure, people (Jeonghan and Seokmin) always like to point out they’re always together, going to every place together starting from the canteen to the subway station. And people (Jeonghan and Seokmin) also like to say they look very gay around each other. As if two gay boys just can’t be friends without wanting to smooch each other.
Though the said very gay side of Seungcheol disagrees with his rational self. Because, right on the mark, Seungcheol has only ever had crushes or interests or whatever people call it on his best friends and best friends only.
And there have definitely been moments where Seungcheol wanted to smooch the shit out of Wonwoo, but we don’t talk about that.
But again, Seungcheol never feels complete with Wonwoo. It’s weird, for someone who can get attached easily (and has a huge history about it) not even once he thinks his crush for Wonwoo is actually a crush because there’s so much lacking.
One, for example, Wonwoo has such a boring music taste. And Seungcheol has a self-proclaimed expert-level music taste. Sure, there could be a difference because Seungcheol actively sits and explores music until something alters his brain chemicals but Wonwoo is mostly fine with whatever plays on the radio. And the worst part? Wonwoo doesn’t even care to remember the title of the song that catches his attention.
(“You mean, attention? Like, attentiooooooon by NewJeans?”
“Yes, those people but it’s a different song”
“Hype boy? Hype bo-ee?”
“Nah, I know that one.” Wonwoo scrunched his nose. “What's your TA?”
“ETA!” Seungcheol screamed in victory. “Gosh, it’s ETA. Yeah, definitely a good song”)
Okay, that’s a stupid thing to look too much into. That’s what Seungcheol convinces himself with but again, Seungcheol talks too much about music that it’s kind of sad sometimes.
(“Wonwoo-ya, you don’t get it. I think of you whenever I play this one. It just hits that spot, you know?” Seungcheol’s giving too many reactions as GAM3 BO1 by SEVENTEEN played on his phone. Wonwoo’s staring at the phone, trying to read all the lyrics.,
Silence.
“It’s good” Wonwoo’s voice comes over towards the end of the second verse. That’s when his phone was back in his hands. Seungcheol felt something bubbling in him)
Sure, Seungcheol gets too angry sometimes. But when Wonwoo just ends it in silence and goes back to his phone without a single reaction that’s on par with Seungcheol’s, it all comes back to both disappointment and feeling tolerated. And most of the time, it’s mostly just Seungcheol being angry at himself because that’s all he’ll ever be. Someone Wonwoo tolerates because he’s too annoying and who even forces people to listen to music-
“Hyung” Wonwoo called out for him. It was kind of cramped in the small space they chose to stand. People with briefcases and boots kept bumping into them. Wonwoo’s clutching on Seungcheol’s sleeves to keep balance because all handgrips were occupied. Despite all the chatter around them, Wonwoo’s voice sounded polished and enhanced in his ears.
“Do you want to go to the dak-galbi place today? It’s the weekend”
“Oh, that sounds nice.” this. things like these are what pull Seungcheol back in like there's hope at all. He knows it is incomplete but there's always yearning for it to be complete. There's always Wonwoo who looks like he's trying to fit himself in the puzzle of Seungcheol which gives him so much hope even if it's false.
And they did end up going to the dak-galbi place where the halmeoni was nice enough to give them a discount and they talked a little too much about their coursework, but hey, at least it was relatable compared to Seungcheol speaking about music and Wonwoo getting absolutely nothing from it. Here, Seungcheol feels more listened to.
“Hyung-ah wake me up tomorrow. I might not, on my own” Wonwoo told him once they were on their beds. They lived in an apartment with one bedroom because that's all they could afford to pay rent for. The bedroom had a bunk bed, and Seungcheol easily took the upper bed because he was less lazy than Wonwoo and also had better vision than Wonwoo in the morning.
“At 8 am?”
“8 am”
“Okay” he set the alarm in his phone, clutching onto the dino plushie he has which he'll most likely use to throw at Wonwoo tomorrow in the name of waking up.
Minutes later, there came Wonwoo’s light snores. Seungcheol was wide awake, questioning everything that was Wonwoo in his life.
“Hyung, why don't you do something about it?” Hansol, the most logical person Seungcheol has ever met, asked him when they met for coffee as Seungcheol waited for the said person in question, Wonwoo.
“I just feel embarrassed. I developed something for him and now that I know it's not even complete nor is it reciprocated, I feel like I should just drop it and move on. I sound pathetic as if attention from Wonwoo is all I want when I can clearly want better things-”
“You can also want attention from Wonwoo and want better things, hyung.” Hansol smiled a little when he pouted. “The point is, the feelings you have for him don't feel complete because of the lack of attention. Like say, you do feel listened to and Wonwoo spends enough time with you starting tonight, don't you think you'll feel like it's complete?”
“But that doesn't help the fact that I shouldn't be embarrassed about wanting him in the first place?” Seungcheol retorted but Hansol shushed him.
“Just answer my question”
“Maybe? I don't know.”
“Yeah. That. You don't realize it when I tell you but your love language is quality time because you're attention-deprived.”
“I'm literally not attention deprived” Seungcheol replied back, like it's venom that he had to spit out when it's just a very bitter soup that's definitely healthy. He knew Hansol could read him well and was only helping him. But that doesn't mean Seungcheol is just ready to swallow the bitter soup.
“Whatever you say, I know I can never say things that you already don't know. You're just not ready to accept which is understandable.” Hansol gave him a pat on his back. “But, really, talk to Wonwoo about it when you come to terms with it. Because Wonwoo may not even be tolerating you and might actually like you as much as you like him”
“Like me as much as I like him? That's a reach” Seungcheol scoffed, because it's true.
“He's just bad at displaying, and it's completely okay if it's not your cup of tea and you want someone else who'd actually display it. But, it's still better to let Wonwoo know you don't see any display and it's hurting you a little no matter how embarrassing it is." When Hansol finished, Seungcheol already knew he could only take Hansol's words in theory and never in practical terms. Talk to Wonwoo about it? No, it's not happening.
And there came Wonwoo, despite how engrossed Seungcheol was in the conversation with Hansol, he still managed to notice Wonwoo. That's always the case, Seungcheol always notices Wonwoo. And Wonwoo? Yeah, at times, when he's actively looking for Seungcheol to swat a bug away or for something else.
“I'll meet you later, Hansol-ah. He's here”
“Good luck, hyung. And I can't wait to hear the next part of this slow-burn friends-to-lovers story”
“You did not just say that-” Seungcheol laughed it off. Though Wonwoo was a foot away from them, Seungcheol didn't need to worry about Wonwoo hearing them because he rarely hears stuff when he's looking at his phone.
“Hi, Hansol” he greeted him nonetheless. “Friends to lovers, what? What were you guys talking about?” Looks like Wonwoo chose to hear this time.
“A story Hansol's reading, apparently it's slow-burn and he can't wait to read the next part” Seungcheol explained to him.
“Oh” and Wonwoo’s eyes were back on his phone screen. It isn't that Wonwoo is particularly rude by being on his phone, it's just how he has been since the moment they met him. They just choose to accept him the way he is and everyone is fine with it except for Seungcheol who's suddenly attention-deprived.
“Anyways, bye.” Hansol left with a wave and Seungcheol could finally put all his attention on Wonwoo even if it was not reciprocated.
“Hyung-ah, I might go eat hotpot with Junnie. Do you want to join?” Wonwoo told him once they started walking towards the subway station to get back home without any exchange of words. Seungcheol considered it for a minute before nodding away.
“Nah, you go”
Wonwoo raised his eyebrows, questioning him.
“I’m not really feeling it today. And we have leftovers from last night, I don’t want to throw them away” Seungcheol smiled at him. Seungcheol knew Wonwoo could read the lie from a mile away because the leftovers were definitely not a full meal so Seungcheol still needed to eat something else to feel full for the night. But Seungcheol really did not want to partake in one of the same-age people's conversations again because he’d feel insanely old and might also end up staring at Wonwoo the whole time instead of conversing at all.
“Whatever you say” Wonwoo let it go, thankfully. “If Chanie asks where you are, I’ll just say he cares more about leftovers than his friends” Now that piqued Seungcheol’s ears.
“Chanie? Chanie is joining you guys? When did he come back?”
“Came back last night apparently. And he wants to hang out with all of us. Everyone said yes except for you so-”
“Okay asshole, I’m coming. Stop painting me as a bad person. You should’ve told me about Chanie first” Seungcheol unintentionally whined, making Wonwoo laugh a little.
“Fine” Wonwoo smiled. “But everyone includes Mingyu as well, can you actually behave with him around?”
“Oh c’mon, you and Jeonghan made that shit up. I never said I’m into Mingyu. Just because Mingyu said he likes me, y’all ship us like you’re fangirls” Wonwoo just laughed again, and Seungcheol caught himself staring at his stupid pretty smile.
“It's always fun when he's around though. I like teasing you”
“You definitely do” Seungcheol ended with a smile of his own. Wonwoo gave him a last smile before plugging in his earpods and pointing at the display of arriving trains to show they were taking the one that goes in the opposite direction to the one they usually take. Seungcheol nodded and plugged in his own earpods and followed Wonwoo as they walked to the platform.
“Jjang!” Jun smiled with all his teeth and Chan was already red. Seungcheol knew something was going on but he didn't expect it to be this obvious.
“So, tell us Chanie. How was life back in Changwon? Did you almost get married again?” Seungkwan joked, making Chan's eyes roll playfully.
“I did not, but life was good there. Parents are fine, your parents are asking for you though, Wonu hyung” Chan smiled at Wonwoo who made an apologetic face while munching down on some cooked radish.
“If only Seungcheol's home was also in Changwon, Wonwoo would be visiting his parents every month or something” Jeonghan teased, getting a laugh out of a few of them.
“Yah, tone it down. Won't you?” Seungcheol side-eyed Jeonghan who just giggled as evilly as possible.
“I'm just saying you two hangout a lot together. What's so wrong about that?”
“We're literally roommates, what do you expect?” Seungcheol fought back.
“Oh my god, cool down hyung. It's like the time we teased you about Mingyu and you got so worked up” Chan tried to joke but Seungcheol just sat down with a whine, he's always the target of the teasing and that's what he gets for being the oldest in the friend group.
“Speaking of Mingyu, where is he?” Wonwoo, who looked like he was smiling all along, spoke up.
“Rain check at the last minute. He has work he said” someone replied, probably Jun.
“Hard working men, that's totally Seungcheol's type” Jeonghan jumped on him again, and Seungcheol only sighed.
Rest of the night went the way Seungcheol expected it to be. Just nice conversations filled with poking fun at each other and a fully laughing Wonwoo right beside him. Everything was good until Jeonghan suggested truth or dare.
“To Seungcheol, so didn't you only like Mingyu because he gave you attention?” Jeonghan's eyes were small and curious.
“The bottle didn't even land on me”
“Now it did” Jeonghan smiled after turning the bottle towards Seungcheol with his own hands in front of everyone else who were also very much digging this pit Seungcheol is in.
“I never said I liked him. He liked me, that's all”
“I've always been curious about this though” Wonwoo said, surprising everyone a little because his voice was a little louder and deeper than ever. “You're someone who'd care to know about someone after they tell you they like you. And if you do know about Mingyu, I don't understand why you guys didn't even try dating. Mingyu is a sweetheart for one. And, I'm your roommate. I've never seen you go on dates. Didn't Mingyu ask you out on one?”
Seungcheol remembers vividly what he told Mingyu, he told Mingyu that he's looking at someone and he can't tell him who it is. And that someone was of course Wonwoo who later became his roommate, best friend and everything along those lines. And if Seungcheol has to admit all that, he'd rather stand up on the table and take off his shirt like Seokmin did for his dare.
“Good question”
“The bottle didn't fucking land on me.”
“Okay but as a roommate, enlighten me. Enlighten all of us for friendship reasons.” Wonwoo was speaking a lot, if only Seungcheol knew Wonwoo actually gave too many fucks to even think this far much earlier he wouldn't have wasted Hansol's time.
“I wasn't in the mood to date anyone back then. And Mingyu definitely deserved better and-”
“Nuh uh. No self-deprecating talks. Take a shot” Seokmin passed a glass to him, while Seungcheol did try to whine and get rid of the glass of wine pushed at him, his efforts were fruitless.
“Are you in the mood to date now then? If yes, we could dial up Mingyu right now and-”
“And? Tell him the stupid guy he likes suddenly wants to date like he's just a mere dating call for me when I want to get out of my comfort zone? Nah. Mingyu deserves more.” Seungcheol took the shot and it traveled down his throat quite painfully.
“This is why I love him, my roommate is too nice of a person” Wonwoo smiled and hugged him sideways. Seungcheol was obviously confused, from when did Wonwoo start doing hugs and saying I love you's ?
Again, if only he knew Wonwoo actually feels all this much earlier, Seungcheol would've definitely had good nights.
“I don't know what we got from this question, but in the end all of us are jealous of Mingyu” Chan raised his glass, “to whoever is lucky to get this man who always think they deserve more”
“Jjang!” Jun yelled happily. Seungcheol felt content. Probably because Wonwoo is still leaning onto his shoulders and purring in agreement and raising his glass in the opposite direction.
Maybe Hansol was right about Wonwoo not having the best methods of display but Seungcheol's too deep in this to care if it fits him or not. But he's also too deep in to confront Wonwoo and tell him he needs more. Or who knows, with the way the night is going Seungcheol might lay back on his bed convinced he has a full solid crush on Wonwoo and not a non-Newtonian fluid crush. Everything depends on the mindset after all.
Seungcheol himself felt like a non-Newtonian fluid in the morning. He looks up at Wonwoo the first thing who's still in his last night's clothes except for the jacket which is half undone that Seungcheol was questioning if he should even take it off of him because of how easily he gets cold and left it on with all the drunk brain he had.
As he stumbled upon his way to make himself some tea, the hangover tea that Wonwoo prefers, he looked up at the clock which read 12.15 pm. Perfect time to wake Wonwoo up.
And of course, the first attack with the dino toy didn't work well as Wonwoo just purred a little and turned to the other side.
“Wonwoo-yah, wake up. I made hangover tea” right over his ears didn't help either.
“Gonna set the obnoxious alarm” as Seungcheol turned the key in the alarm clock that has the most obnoxious sounding alarm ringtones ever in Wonwoo's opinion. He set it at 12.30 and kept it right beside Wonwoo’s ears and went back to attend to the tea.
And by 12.40 pm, Wonwoo was up and with the hair all tousled and his spectacles placed badly on his face he was at the dinner table.
“Do you have a headache?”
“A little. Should've calmed down by the fourth shot Chan served me. But it was Chan so” Wonwoo trailed off, breathing in the aroma of the tea. “This. This feels good.”
“Thanks” Seungcheol couldn't help but stare at Wonwoo trying to understand the tea better without taking a sip of it. Like a cat testing the waters on its new toy, and making kitten steps to playing with it like how Wonwoo’s fingers lightly tap the glass from time to time to see if it's still too hot for his lips.
“You're staring” Wonwoo commented, off-handedly.
“It's like having a cat, you're such a cat that it amazes me sometimes”
“So you stare at cats and not men? Weirdo” Seungcheol gave a slight tap on Wonwoo’s head for the teasing. He had to go and check what they can do for lunch and anything that followed it but sitting here and staring at Wonwoo feels a lot easier on the heart.
Times like these are when Seungcheol completely forgets how angry or how disappointed he gets at Wonwoo. All that anger and disappointment only for Wonwoo to do a little better, give him a rope rather than a string to hang on to hope. But why need any of it when Seungcheol feels like he has all of the hope and he has everything he could ever ask for to have a solid crush on Wonwoo.
That's where the fear makes its appearance, Seungcheol feels like he's a breath away from kissing Wonwoo on his nose but no. He shouldn't do this. He's in a weird trance where Wonwoo is completely doing normal things, nothing that deserves him a kiss but Seungcheol is so on the edge to give Wonwoo everything.
So vulnerable, so easy to break. Like an overfilled glass of tea.
“Ouch” Wonwoo dropped the glass on his lap which ended up spilling hot tea all over his jeans from last night, followed by a loud scream that Seungcheol has only heard once before from Wonwoo. Seungcheol's hands immediately reached for the glass about to fall off of Wonwoo's lap and the towel.
“Oh my god, cats are careful with their things you know” Seungcheol commented, trying to wipe off Wonwoo's hands which had a little tea on them while gesturing to him to remove his pants.
Wonwoo ran to their room and undid his pants as Seungcheol followed him with a now cold and wet towel to wipe any burns or things of that sort.
But thankfully there was nothing, and Wonwoo was standing in his nicely fitted jacket and a t-shirt, no pants but only his red underwear and green socks, holding his thighs and blowing air on it.
“It's okay” Seungcheol wrapped the towel around his thighs and waited for Wonwoo to calm down and sit on his bed. There were many breaths and sighs shared but no words.
No words and suddenly Seungcheol's face was too close to Wonwoo's and he still felt like an overfilled glass of tea even though he just witnessed damage to it.
“Hyung"
“Wonwoo, I-”
“kiss me” Wonwoo's voice was breathy and low. Seungcheol's heart stammered for a second.
“What-”
“Oh, shut up” Wonwoo closed the gap between their lips as his hands grasped Seungcheol's face and pulled him impossibly closer. Seungcheol felt himself open to the kiss easily, he let his hands ride up a little along Wonwoo's thighs (the towel long forgotten, falls right on Wonwoo’s feet). The more Wonwoo's fingers traveled along his jaw the more he felt himself unfolding.
When they broke apart, there was something unreadable in Wonwoo's eyes that Seungcheol couldn't help but stare at.
“Knew it” Wonwoo muttered slowly.
“That I'm all obsessed with you? How stupidly too?” Seungcheol knew there's no going back here. He's on the cliff, nothing wrong in taking a look at the clouded surface he's going to jump into.
“Obsession is a big word, but I knew setting obnoxious alarms and making tea had their own undertones”
“I did multiple and these are the only things you noticed?” Seungcheol scoffed, earning a smile out of Wonwoo.
“Can't say I noticed everything. That would be a lie” Wonwoo smiled, leaning forward to earn another kiss but Seungcheol pulled back.
“That's bugging me a little” Seungcheol confessed, looking right into Wonwoo's eyes once again. But now they were a little more readable. Seungcheol wished to understand everything though.
“My attention span?”
“Your attention on me” Seungcheol spat it out, the poison and not the bitter soup. “Everytime I think I'm falling deeper and it only hits when you ignore my existence while eating the food we ordered together that I'm afloat and I'm delusional”
“I'm sorry about that-”
“It's not that one incident. There are multiple. And I do feel like shit for saying this now and ruining the mood or whatever but- this is me. It doesn't feel right to say I am obsessed with you when that part of me definitely despises that part of you” Seungcheol sighed out, standing up once he noticed Wonwoo’s face falling.
“Well, I don't want to lose you because of that” Wonwoo answered, simple and crisp.
“You're losing none of me, I'm just saying I don't want to adjust and shut up about it. It hurts me, even as your best friend. You can call me a sensitive overdramatic asshole all you want”
“I'm not calling you that and I get it. I understand” Wonwoo's tone became more stern with every word. Like he wanted to seal and lock Seungcheol up, in a good way of course. “I'll try. I've been trying all these years and I'll continue to try.”
“You've been trying, yes” Seungcheol knew that the Wonwoo he met a long time ago wouldn't even look at anyone for longer than thirty seconds if not needed. But here they are, staring into each other's souls for the last ten minutes despite the hot tea spilled legs. “Hansol said if whatever you give me isn't what I want, I'm allowed to want something else. But that would be demeaning your imperfections when I could try to mend it with you. Especially when you're accepting me, all like this with no complains”
Wonwoo smiled, “well I can complain about how self deprecating you are and how it ruins my mind sometimes”
“Hey! that's my humor!”
“Still ruins my brain nonetheless” Wonwoo's hands were back on Seungcheol now, forearms over his shoulders pulling him closer once again. “But I love that about you”
“I love you too” Seungcheol replied, followed by a peck on Wonwoo’s nose which even started all of this. Thanks to Wonwoo’s nose.
Wonwoo just did his usual nose scrunch and stretched like a house cat before attaching their lips again.
“So are you here to thank me?” Hansol raised his eyebrows at Seungcheol who visibly looked so happy.
“I followed none of the advice you gave me but I need to fill you up on the slow burn friends to lovers story so you can move on isn't it?” Seungcheol winked at him and Wonwoo finally got it.
“So that's what the friends to lovers was about, I should've guessed it”
“Won't mind hearing the sequel established relationship, lovers to newly weds” Hansol winked back at Seungcheol and Wonwoo groaned.
“Please I don't want to marry this man, I can't live with him”
“You literally, already live with me” Seungcheol retorted back only for Wonwoo to blush a little and dismiss it with a nod.
“Yeah, I might want to not hear stories if this keeps going”