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After months of traveling , with only the memory of his pen, his closest friend never returned his letters.
His dreams had started to imagine her response to a certain plant and its meaning in that culture, her witty remarks always bringing a smile to his face. He had thought that even after she and Eloise fell out, she would at the bare minimum respond to one letter. The letters from his last tour were the only thing that had made him feel like his old self, confident and easygoing. Never before had he been plagued with doubts so heavily even after his failed courtship with Marina. He grew more and more lost without his pen. Dreaming on, looking back at his brother’s failed wedding and his conversations with her.
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“Your dreams are grander than you let on, Pen.”
“Yes, they are mere fantasies, but I do believe we must allow ourselves those private moments so that we may face reality armed with our reveries.” while looking up at him, making him more secure than ever, warmth emanating from her.
After spending perhaps a moment too spent looking upon her and ruminating over such advice. He asked “And what reveries are those?”
After taking a moment she says” While I have thought about it no one has ever asked, even your sister. As you saw in my letters, I enjoy writing greatly. I wish to publish a work of my own one day.” she finished while brushing
“Pen, those letters made me feel warmer and closer to home”. While reaching up for her hand .” than my own family and I must admit I reread every single letter, to the point the oldest one has begun to thin and tatter. “
While looking up at him, with an expression he could only hope could be love and perhaps adoration .” you mustn’t joke about such, Colin… what do you mean?”
“ I love you, of course.”
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Waking up in a sweat, his dreams had always led to small charming conversations with her growing in depth over time with each letter going unanswered but never a confession such as love. while yes, Pen was his friend. She must have thought of him as her best friend's older brother, a wanderer with no purpose. Each dream over the tour had only revealed more and more of what his heart knew but his mind not quite catching up, the two finally finding common ground. What scared him about the dream was not the love, it was the fact that the feeling was already so familiar, so vivid, closer to home than ever being with his family. going back to the dream
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After such a confession, he felt nervous and tense. What if she did not return his affection? What if all she did she saw behind him was an empty facade of charm hiding nothing of note?
With her spending too much staring at him as well as her dropping his hand, he began to look at her with her eyes shimmering with unshed tears
Rescinding his confession “Pen, i’m so sorry. You don’t have to reciprocate my love.” beginning to mutter, she interrupts him.
“Colin, I'm not rejecting your love. I simply never thought I was the subject of anyone's affection let alone yours. I've long held a tenderness and love for you. My mama and everyone else always told me that such a lover would never be returned. To be proven wrong is one of the greatest pleasures I could have ever hoped for. What else was going to accompany your confession of love?”
His heart ached that someone could have ever made her feel less worthy of love and affection, especially his. Pulling his hand into his pocket he reaches for a ring, his mind thinking back to one he bought for while shopping in Amsterdam while at a market. The ring reminded him of her eyes and it being what he thought her ring size must be, deciding fate must have schemed to realize his love as well as his desire to spend the rest of his life with her. Fumbling around his packet before finally revealing the small velvet box. Her smile already indicated her answer.
“Pen, would you give me the honor of being your husband, to attempt to deserve you one day?”
Already nodding before he could finish his last syllable, crying with a much deeper purpose than her first thought. Bring her close already at the perfect height for him to rest his head right over her, hearing his heart beat rapidly
“ I'm beyond words,I can't wait to love for the rest of my days.”
“Colin, I love you too.”
As the words left her mouth he began to cry, tears of immeasurable happiness, a dizziness and lightness never having given him even as he pondered the positive answer to affection never quite believing she could or would love him back.
“My darling, there is something else we must discuss.”
He was finally looking out from his chest and looking up at him with an adorably confused smile.
“ something i’ve been waiting to do forever.”
Looking at her eyes first then at her lips a silence conversion hopping, she nods
First tentatively, with it being her first kiss as well as his. Never felt the desire to do this act with anyone besides his future wife.
“ Did you like that?I've never done that before.”
She looked at him as the weight of the words went through her head.
“I’d like to do that again”
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He woke up with incredible sadness. He felt in this dream the most peace and happiness that he had ever felt, and to wake up and know his dream was a heartbreaking reality. Crying from the start of a life he didn’t know he wanted. He leapt out of bed. First standing by writing letters to his mother as well as his eldest brother stating that he would return home five months earlier than originally intended, second to his brother Benedict staging his intentions of coming home and hoping no suitors could have attempted Pen’s hand for marriage, and lastly a letter to Pen.
My dearest Penelope,
In my travels, I've long looked for something to fulfill my life and give it some sort of purpose. In a dream, one that answered a question that I've long searched for you. While we have known each other all our lives. In the two years, I've begun to truly see you. A lingering feeling of completeness always follows every single interaction with you, every letter adding to my love for you. This trip as well as your absence culminates in finally requiting the emotion for what it is, love. While you might see me as silly, for having my head up in the clouds and being unable to know my love for you. I can only hope you can accept my suit. I will spend the rest of my days hoping to deserve and earn love from someone so good and selfless. I ended my tour early. As I'm writing this letter, I've begun arranging my way home. Please accept me when I return.
All my love,
dearest Penelope
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After having finished all the letters, he began to pack his bags. Not even being bothered by not having finished getting all his siblings' souvenirs. Thinking that even with that they would understand. After finding a packet of the bags and informing his innkeeper that he was staying for a short time in Italy.
After three days of arranging to deprecate and rehearsing how he would put his devotion into words., he sailed.