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When I was in elementary school, a classmate confessed to me.
"Gotoh Hitori-san, please go out with me!"
In the classroom after the bell rang, a boy who I'd never spoken with before said this to me.
"...Eh- ah, um..."
Being confessed to was so unexpected that my mind went completely blank. As I was hopelessly stuttering, the boy yelled out to someone.
“...Hey, am I done now?! I’m so done with this!”
“...Eh?”
From outside the classroom, several other boys gathered inside.
“Man, that was soo hilarious!”
“Geez, what are you making me do?!”
“Eh- um, so…”
Seeing how confused I was, one of the boys spoke to me.
“Ahh, sorry sorry. He just lost a bet, so we made him play a prank.”
…Oh. So that’s why. That makes sense.
After laughing some more, the boys quickly ran out of the room.
It’s been a long time since then, but it still remains as one of my worst memories.
Nijika called out to me. She wanted me to meet her by those vending machines. To talk with me, alone.
I already know what she wants. It couldn’t be anything else. What she wants to do to me, is…
“…She’s kicking me out of the baaaand…”
I mean, what else could she be calling me out for? She probably found some other guitarist who’s way better than me. Why would she need someone of my level anymore?
“Sigh… I don’t want to go…”
My memories in Kessoku Band flashed before my eyes. Being invited by Nijika, being told about her dream, and our concert in the cultural festival… Some things went wrong of course, but here I was thinking that things were actually going pretty well for me.
“...No, I need to tell her… I need to tell her that I don’t want to quit.”
I don’t want to be apart from Nijika, Ryo and Kita. Because Kessoku Band… gave me a place to belong. I don’t want to cut these ties that I’ve finally managed to make.
“...Okay, I need courage… I need to say it. Even if I have to shamefully bow on my hands and knees.”
Whispering that to myself, I made my way towards those vending machines.
“...Ah, Bocchi-cha-”
“I’m begging you, please don’t kick me out of the band!!!”
“Wh-wh-wha?!? What are you talking about?!”
The moment I caught sight of Nijika-chan, I instantly got on my hands and knees. That’s the only way I could show my sincerity to her.
“YouMust’veFoundAbetterGuitaristThanMeDidn’tYou, I’mSorryI’mSoUselessButPleaseDon’tMakeMeQuit, I’llDoAnything, I swear-”
“W-wait, just wait a second, what’s all this about?!”
“Eh- didn’t you call me out here to fire me…?”
“Of course not!! Why would I do that?!”
“Wha… really?”
“Yes, really! There’s no way I could kick you out!”
I’m… really not being kicked out?
“Th-thank goodness…”
“Geez Bocchi-chan, you just got caught up in your negative thinking again, didn’t you?
“I-I did…I’m sorry…”
“You should be more confident in yourself! You’re our precious bandmate, after all!”
“Th-thank you…ahh, an angel’s in front of me…”
As Nijika’s kindness washed over me, I still found myself recovering from the relief.
…But wait… if that’s not it, then why did she call me out here…?
“S-so, Bocchi-chan…”
“Ah- yes?”
“…Um…”
“…?”
Nijika looked down, only continuing to blurt out various forms of “uhs” and “ums”.
Does whatever she have to tell me that hard to say?
N-no, is she actually…
“Y-you’re actually firing me, aren’t you…”
“N-no! I’m not! Agh, fine, I’ll just say it!”
Nijika took a deep breath and stared straight into my eyes.
“B-Bocchi-chan.”
“Y-yes?”
“I… I like you, Bocchi-chan.”
“...Eh?”
The words that came out of her mouth didn’t register for me. She said… “like”, right?
“Like.” “Like.” “Like.” That sound of that word kept echoing inside my head. She likes someone? Who? Me? Nonono, I must’ve just misheard her or something.
“U-um…”
“...Of course, not just as a friend. In the romantic kind of way. I love you, Bocchi-chan.”
“Eh…”
“Bocchi-chan… Please go out with me.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I could feel my mind going blank. Does she really? Nijika? With me? Someone who’s entire existence is underneath a measly little water flea?
Feeling time stop around me, I felt myself being surrounded by another delusion. Everything around me became dead silent.
Nijika, she… she likes me? Me…
If that’s really true, then…
——————
“Man, that was soo hilarious!”
“Geez, what are you making me do?!”
“Ahh, sorry sorry. He just lost a bet, so we made him play a prank.”
——————
“...Um.”
“Wh-wha?”
“Is this… a prank?”
“...Eh?”
Just to make sure.
Nijika would never do something like that, but I need to know for sure.
It’s okay, she’ll deny it in an instant, like she always does.
She’ll laugh and say “Geez, I’d never do something that horrible, you know that~!”
Yes… I know she will…
“………Y-yeah! It’s a prank! Geez, Ryo, that jerk, haha~”
Oh. Of course it was.
Here I am, falling for it all over again. And by Nijika, of all people.
“I-I see… Ahaha, that Ryo’s really got you in a bind, huh~”
“Y-yeah… Sorry…”
“I-it’s okay…”
I don’t really remember what happened after that.
I walked Nijika back home, without us saying another word to each other. Unable to think about anything, I found myself on my side, in bed. I didn’t want to think about anything.
But… no matter what, I couldn’t help but feel so sad, and hurt, and I just quietly cried into my pillow.
“……Y-yeah! It’s a prank! Geez, Ryo, that jerk, haha~”
“………”
“B-Bocchi-chan?”
“…I see, so this is the real kind of person you are, Nijika-chan.”
“N-no, I-”
“I believed you…I thought you were my friend……!”
“No, I’m sorry, Bocchi-cha-”
“You’re the worst…! Just, don’t talk to me ever again…!”
“Wait, Bocchi-cha-……!”
“Wait!!!”
When I opened my eyes, I saw the sight of my bedroom’s ceiling.
Taking a deep breath, I remembered… I passed out as soon as I came home.
So, all that was just a dream…
“Thank goodness…Ha ha…”
I felt a tear roll down my cheek. If only it was a dream…
I know… When she asked me if it was a prank, I should have immediately said it wasn’t. But… I couldn’t help but think if that was her way of saying no to my confession… So I impulsively lied to avoid being hurt.
After that, Bocchi-chan walked me home. She didn’t say anything, she only looked down as she gloomily walked.
“…I really am the worst…!”
Bocchi-chan’s an innocent girl, but she always thinks so negatively… what I said must’ve been a shock to her… All of it, it’s all my fault. I really can’t forgive myself after that.
“……Bocchi-chan……”
Kessoku Band’s lead guitarist. Guitarhero. The person who always saves me whenever I feel hopeless. Before I knew it, that girl was all that I could look at.
And I know… that intraband relationships are dangerous. And that’s how so many bands before us broke up. But even so, I knew that if I left these feelings unsaid, I’d surely regret it.
So why, why couldn’t I tell her properly……
“…’A prank’… how could I say something so stupid…”
In the end, I couldn’t tell her any of my feelings. And not only that, I ended up hurting her in the process. I can never show my face to her again.
“……I can’t bring myself to go to school today…”
Nijika was acting weird.
Her usual energy was gone, she zoned out in class, and what’s worst, when I borrowed some money from her she just handed it to me and said “Yeah yeah, just pay me back some other time.” Where did all of her usual nagging go off to?
“Nijika, did something happen?”
“……No, not really.”
You’re definitely lying, I thought to myself as we headed back to STARRY. Nijika’s the type to worry without relying on anyone, she’d never tell me even if I asked. We can’t get any practice done like this.
When we opened the door to STARRY, a certain pink-colored kouhai was standing there.
“……B-Bocchi-chan.”
“……Nijika…-chan.”
I see, so she’s the cause.
“…So, what did you want to talk about, Ryo-senpai…?”
“Bocchi, did something happen?”
That weekend, I called Bocchi to that trendy cafe in Shimokitazawa to interrogate her.
“…N-nothing, really.”
“You say that, but it’s normally impossible for you to make that many mistakes at once.”
“……”
They were seriously horrible. Both Bocchi and Nijika. They performed the worst I’ve ever seen them. Both at the job and with our band.
Well, I don’t really care about that right now. More importantly…
“Is it something with Nijika?”
“……!”
I knew it. After that question, Bocchi only looked down with a scrunched up expression on her face.
“So, what happened?”
“………”
Still not talking, huh? Bocchi’s still Bocchi after all. She’s stubborn with this kind of thing. What a pain.
As I thought that, Bocchi suddenly looked up and glared at me.
“Why are you asking me, when you’re the one that caused this in the first place, Ryo-senpai…?!”
“...Huh?”
I caused this? How?
“Ryo-senpai, pulling a prank like that…”
“W-wait a second. What’re you talking about?”
“Eh?”
“Eh?”
“Ryo-senpai, you told Nijika-chan to confess to me, didn’t you?!”
What’s she saying? I can’t follow this at all.
“Bocchi, just calm down. Just start from the beginning.”
“Ah, okay.”
After hearing her out, it all makes sense now.
“…So Nijika confessed to you…”
“Yes.”
“But the last time you were confessed to, it was only a prank, so you tried asking her to make sure.”
“Yes.”
“And then Nijika said it was. And that it was me who made her 'prank' you.”
“Yes.”
“I see… Bocchi.”
“…Yes…”
“You’re the worst.”
“Uuu…”
Bocchi groaned in pain, but I continued to rail on her.
“If I didn’t make her prank you, then that means that Nijika’s confession was the real deal. She was waiting for a proper response from you, so to sink to calling her true feelings a prank is… You…”
“Uuu… Just kill me now…”
I sighed. I’ve got no choice, I’ll do my duty as her cool senpai to lend my poor little kouhai a hand.
“Bocchi, what do you think of Nijika?”
“Eh…?”
“Do you like her?”
“That…I don’t really know……”
Well, I figured as much. She’s never experienced anything like romance before. It’s only to be expected.
“Then, how does being confessed to by her make you feel?”
“‘How’…? Well…”
“Do you want to go out with her?”
Bocchi fell into silence as she looked down. It was only after some time that she raised her head again and spoke.
“I don’t really understand it, but… if it’s with Nijika-chan, then I think I’d be fine with it.”
“And why’s that?”
“Well… it was only because Nijika-chan was there for me, that I can be here now, in a band… As long as Nijika-chan’s with me, I feel like things will finally be better for me.”
Bocchi looked straight at me as she said this. I knew it, she can really pull herself together in times like this.
“I see… Then, that should be perfect for you, don’t you think?”
“Is it really…? Just like that…?”
“Of course. As long as you continue to feel that way, then everything will work out.”
“...Yeah…You’re right. Thank you very much, Ryo-senpai.”
In complete contrast to before, Bocchi’s expression immediately improved. They should be all right now.
“Don’t mention it. All I ask is that you pay for today.”
“Ah- okay.”
“C’mon, Ijichi-senpai, bring that usual energy back!”
“Yeah… Sorry, Kita-chan. I know you were really rooting for me back then…”
That weekend, I came to STARRY to try to comfort Ijichi-senpai in some way.
She’s really been going through it. And I think I can tell the reason why…
“It was a shock to be rejected by Hitori-chan, I know…”
“…Ah, well… that’s not…”
“…?”
She drifted her eyes to the side for some reason.
…Something tells me I’m not getting the full story here.
“Senpai, you confessed to Hitori-chan, didn’t you?”
“I-I did…”
“And so? Did she say no?”
“……”
Once again, her eyes were to the side.
“Senpai… You're hiding something from me, aren't you?”
———
“I see, so that’s what happened…”
“Y-yeah…”
“But still, Ijichi-senpai…”
“...Yeah…”
“You’re the worst…”
“Uuu……”
Senpai groaned in pain, but I continued to rail on her.
“I mean, just think about it from her perspective! To believe that it was a real confession, only to be told it was a prank… And not only that, but from her beloved Ijichi-senpai of all people… Don’t you think that’s horrible…?”
“Uuu… Just kill me now…”
Good grief… senpais aren’t supposed to be this troublesome. I’ve got no choice, I’ll have to step in and lend her a hand.
“Sigh… Ijichi-senpai, are you really okay with this?”
“…”
“Right now, Hitori-chan still feels like she was tricked by you. And now because of all this, you haven’t properly told her your true feelings. Do you really want things to continue like this?”
“Of course not, but…”
As she talked, tears started forming in her eyes.
“But by now… Bocchi-chan must already hate me… who would listen to a confession after someone did that to them…?”
That negative thinking—senpai is really similar to Hitori-chan when it comes to this, huh…
“Sigh… You know, senpai, if things continue to be awkward between you two, the band will break up eventually.”
“……!”
“This problem goes way beyond a little confession. Are you really willing to throw the band away just because you can’t bring yourself confess to her?”
“N-no way! I wouldn’t…”
“Then, get your act together and make up with her already! Don’t even worry about the confession right now, just focus on repairing your friendship for now.”
“O-okay…”
Even after saying all that, I can tell she’s still not up to it. Geez, this senpai… You really know how to work someone to the bone, don't you?
With a *snap* of my smartphone, I took a photo of senpai’s gloomy expression.
“Yeah, this one will work.”
“Eh?”
“I’ll send this over to Hitori-chan now, okay?”
“Wha-…! Wai- what do you think you’re--!”
“Whoo~ps, too late! I already sent it.”
“Ehh?! Why would you do that?!”
She’s making such a big deal out of this, but I know that this is what’s best for her. “It’s better this way. See? Hitori-chan’s already said ‘I’m coming over right now’.” “Eh…? Bocchi-chan is…?!” “C’mon senpai, this is your chance to make up with her!” “B-but…” Still having cold feet, huh? This senpai… “Can’t you see it? The moment Hitori-chan saw you with tears in your eyes, she immediately decided to come see you. Isn’t it obvious that she’s worried about you?” “Ah…” “You and Hitori-chan… it’s clear that you two love each other. So if you just talk things out, you’ll be able to make things right again. So please, senpai…” With that, the look in her eyes immediately changed. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked back at me. “You’re right. Thank you, Kita-chan.”
“Haha, you’re very welcome! Do your best out there, okay?”
Having said that and feeling refreshed, I stepped out of STARRY.
“*pant* *pant*... Nijika-chan…” I headed to STARRY as fast as I could. The photo that Kita sent me… Nijika-chan had tears in her eyes. It’s all my fault. All because of that horrible stunt I pulled, now she’s…
“...Nijika-chan…”
Ever since I talked with Ryo, I couldn’t get what Nijika said out of my head.
“I… I like you, Bocchi-chan.”
I don’t have a clue what she likes about me. And to be honest, I don’t know if I truly like her either. But, even so, if she really likes me… I want to give her a proper answer. Because I want to always walk together with the girl who brought me to the outside world. So please…
“...Nijika-chan!!!”
WIth a loud thud, I forced the door to STARRY open.
“...Bocchi-chan…”
It was dim inside the room. But still, there she stood.
“...Bocchi-chan…”
There she was, panting heavily as she rushed over to me. She… really came.
“...Nijika-chan.”
“So, um, Bocchi-cha--”
“...I’m so sorry!!!”
“Huh?”
“You mustered up the courage to confess to me, and all I did was… I’m the absolute worst…”
She said this with her head bowed straight to the ground. Even when all the blame should be on me…
“Bocchi-chan, can you please look up?”
“...Yes…”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Bocchi-chan. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I lied to you, just because I was afraid of getting hurt…”
“Nijika-chan…”
“I’m the worst, aren’t I… I’m sorry, Bocchi-chan.”
I couldn’t look at her as I said this. How stupid must my face look right now?
The silence was deafening. But cutting through it, I saw Bocchi-chan coming closer, holding her hands out before pulling back again. She repeated these movements for a few seconds, and before I could realize what was happening, she made up her mind and stretched her arms around me, wrapping me in a tight hug.
“...Bocchi-chan…”
“Aaaaahh I’m so sorry! That was gross wasn’t it I’ll let go now…”
She tried letting go, but I stopped her.
“No, it’s okay… Thank you, Bocchi-chan.”
“Nijika-chan…”
I could feel her warmth through the hug… Warm and gentle… Even this smell of insect repellant weirdly brings me to a feeling of peace…
No matter what, Bocchi-chan does this. Whenever I feel down, she always comes to save me like the hero she is.
Really, how could I not say…
“I love you…”
“Eh-”
“...Ah-”
My voice slipped out on its own. Wait, my confession’s already out so why am I getting all worried now? But still, it was so sudden that it probably feels awkward now, and…
“U-um, Bocchi-cha–”
“...I… I love you too, Nijika-chan…”
“Eh…?”
Tightening her arms around me, she continued speaking.
“W-when you confessed to me back then, I was really happy. I was happy to be wanted by the Nijika-chan who led me to where I am now.”
“...Bocchi-chan…”
“I don’t know if someone like me could ever be worthy of you, but… but still… as long as I’m with you, I think everything will work out. So please…”
Slightly unwrapping her arms around me, she pulled away just enough to look me straight in the eyes.
“Please, go out with me.”
Another silence passed. It felt like time had come to a stop right then and there. Every sound around us seemed to disappear, and Bocchi-chan was the only thing I could see. …I’m really no match for her, huh…
“*sniffle*”
“Eh!? Ah, I-I-I’m so sorry for getting carried away that was awkward, huh-”
“...You really don’t play fair, Bocchi-chan…”
“Eh-a-ah-um…”
As Bocchi-chan stuttered and panicked, I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around her.
“Wah-! Nijika-cha-...”
“...I… I love you, Bocchi-chan…”
“...!”
“*sniffle*... Uuu, Bocchi-cha-...”
“Nijika-chan… I… I love you too…”
I softly cried into Bocchi’s arms, as she softly held me close. I lost count of how many times she said “I love you” to me. And through my tears, I desperately wanted to say the same.
And with that exchange of love, we finally became a real couple.
“Ah, Ryo-senpai! They’re finally out!”
As I left STARRY with Bocchi-chan, we found Ryo and Kita-chan waiting for us.
“Hehe, what a passionate confession you had there, Bocchi.”
“Wha- you were eavesdropping, Ryo! You’re the worst!”
“Well, could you blame her? It was just such a touching sight! But more importantly, let’s all go out to eat something tasty to celebrate!”
“Good idea. Bocchi and Nijika could treat us.”
“Eh- don’t just decide that on your own!”
“...Hehe.”
“Hey, Bocchi-chan! Don’t just sit there and snicker and help me tell them off!”
“Well, it’s just for today, it can’t hurt.”
“Eh~~?”
“Then it’s decided! Let’s go right away!”
“Don’t get left behind, Bocchi, Nijika.”
“Wa-wait a second!”
Bocchi-chan smiled as she watched Ryo and Kita-chan ran off. She turned back to me and stretched her hand to me, her back lit by the orange sunset ahead of us.
“Let’s go, Nijika-chan! Together.”
Taking her hand in my own, I couldn’t contain my happiness.
“…Yeah. Let’s go, Bocchi-chan!”
Holding our hands tight, we ran out towards the sunset.