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Jimmy had a secret. One no one could know. He'd made the mistake of telling people in the past and they'd used that knowledge against him. Others had been scared of him and threatened to report him to the authorities. While he hadn't known of Gibbs' rules until after he joined NCIS, he'd quickly learned that the only way to keep a secret was if no one else knew. After hearing about rule four, Jimmy knew he could get behind that rule very easily as he'd been more or less following it for many years now.
He had tried to put the past behind him, attempted to bury the memories, to no avail. Regret wrapped around his chest like a vice as he remembered each and every life he'd taken. No matter what he did, when this time of year rolled around the memories of the murders he committed rose up in startling clarity.
He heard the bells tolling and knew they tolled for him. All around him they rose up as if taunting him and summoning the souls of those he'd murdered. Carolers ringing bells as they sang, the song Jingle Bells blaring out of speakers everywhere, and even the occasional person wearing bells on their clothes reminded him of every single death that he carried the blame for.
He knew it was only a matter of time before the past caught up with him. He'd killed people for a living. Eventually someone would murder him too, probably when he least expected it.
Jimmy had found a new path now. He'd somehow gone from assassin to medical examiner assistant. He wasn't exactly atoning for his past, but the positive sides of the scales were starting to tip in his favor more now.
He knew Dr. Mallard had a past that he didn't speak of either. He recognized the signs of mourning when the bells sounded, but he'd never asked. Dr. Mallard had extended him the same courtesy to privacy in his personal life.
So far he'd been lucky. No one had even guessed. They hadn't noticed that Jimmy was a lot more observant than most people gave him credit for. Tony had picked up on more than anyone else, but then Special Agent DiNozzo preferred to be underestimated and knew better than most what it looked like to cultivate such a profile normally.
Jimmy found himself listening to Tony and offering advice, much like Dr. Mallard did for Gibbs. He knew that Gibbs and Ducky shared many secrets and maybe one day the same would hold true for Tony and him. For now, he would keep his secret to himself. The less people that knew, the greater the chance he'd avoid detection from his enemies. After all, Jimmy wasn't his original name.
He'd gone by the name of Robert back then. He'd been available for hire to anyone who could afford his fee. Those who hired him knew him as the Black Death. He was swift and deadly much like his name sake.
One time, he'd injected someone with a lethal dose of a medication that would look natural if the autopsy and tox screen wasn't performed for two days. He'd carefully arranged the body so that it looked like the man was just staring into his tea before vanishing. It had taken five days before someone noticed the victim hadn't moved in a very long time. Jimmy's employers had given him a bonus for that one.
He probably could have continued that life for many more years without getting caught, but alas he'd met an angel. She worked as a nurse at a hospital, where one of his targets currently resided. While scouting out when his next victim would be the most vulnerable, he spotted her. He'd never seen anyone so beautiful.
It was definitely lust at first sight. He wanted more than anything to drop what he was doing and ask her out, but he had a mission to finish. He knew better than to get sidetracked while on a mission. He'd made that mistake when he was much younger and never repeated it.
After he'd been paid and his victim croaked his last breath, Jimmy returned to the hospital. He hoped to run into the pretty nurse that caught his eyes. He found her crying over the person he'd just murdered.
Offering her what comfort he could, he felt his heart shatter. He had done this to her. He had hurt her without meaning to just because of his job.
He swore then and there to himself that he wouldn't take another assignment. No matter how desperate he got, he wouldn't do it. The consequences were too harsh.
He would find another way to make money and he would make it up to her, somehow, even if he could never tell her why he felt so guilty about her patient's death.
So when the bells rang around Christmas time and she lit a candle for all the patients she lost, he lit one too. He never told her who his candles were for and she never asked. They both mourned a little more at Christmas time, but never without the other.
Somewhere in the future, his past would return to claim him, but it wasn't today and it wasn't this year. Maybe he'd get the courage to tell her the truth, but more likely he'd take his secret to the grave. If they held each other tighter as they listened to the bells toll outside, well no one would think anything of it, least of all her.
It had been a stroke of luck that he'd found out about the position opening for the medical examiner's assistant. He'd applied for it and told everyone that he wanted to be a vet. No one needed to know that he'd mostly used his training to hurt people and if sometimes Tony's nicknames for him, Autopsy Gremlin, Black Lung, etc. hit a little too close to home for him, well he knew better than to show that.
He tried not to glance over his shoulder to see if the day his idyllic life would end was upon him, but he knew he could never escape it for good. Until that day came, he would treasure every moment with Breena and he would mourn his past mistakes every time he heard those jingle bells jingle. That was his legacy and he hoped to God to never pass it on to any children they may have. It was bad enough living with the guilt of killing someone his wife cared for. He knew he wouldn't survive the remorse of somehow teaching his children to be just as callous with people's lives.
Each life was precious. He'd learned that each one mattered and you could never make up for wasting one. What lessons he hadn't learned from Breena, he learned at Dr. Mallard's hand as they worked to find justice for various Navy and Marine victims that found their way to slabs in the morgue.
He promised himself that he'd take the time to show any kids they had, the true importance of each life. Never would they take their life for granted. He did not want to continue a legacy of death.
Even once his past came back to haunt him, he would do his damnedest to make sure the pattern broke with him. Going forward, love, devotion, and honor would be what the family took pride in. Never did he want his family to pay the price for his mistakes. They saved him from himself and he would save them from himself in turn.