Work Text:
July 13
To: Eric Bittle-Zimmermann
CC:
Subject: Time to start thinking about the holidays!
From: Hannah Leary
Hi, Eric. Our favorite time of year is right around the corner! I know it’s only July, but holiday specials start filming in September. We’ve got a few requests for you to appear on various Food Network shows as a guest judge. Those will begin filming in the next month or so. And of course, I’ll be working with your publicity team over at Potter to line up appearances to promote the new holiday cookbook. Let’s schedule a call for early next week to discuss your preferences and availability.
Best,
Hannah
P.S. How are the babies?
---
To: Hannah Leary
CC:
Subject: Re: Time to start thinking about the holidays!
From: Eric Bittle-Zimmermann
Attachment: BZtwinsinpool.heic
Oh lord, is it that time already?
I’ve been talking with Carlos and Sally at Potter and it sounds like the new book will be in the warehouse by early October, to ship in time for the November release! (Assuming there are no delays.) I’m already planning to have new content related to it for the vlog and my socials. Shira told me she’s planning to pitch some appearances to the morning and late night shows, as well as cooking demos at select stores like we did for the last book. Luckily we have those relationships in place, so the PR team should have an easy time getting those scheduled.
The babies are great! Look how much they love the pool!
Eric
“Hey, bud. You coming in?”
Bitty looks up from his phone to see Jack, clad in only his swim trunks with a baby on each hip, looking as delicious as the peach pie he’s got cooling on the counter. Jack has always been a whole lot of man but what is it about a man with babies that just makes him so much … more?
Ollie’s happy babbling starts to turn into a whine and Jack bounces on his heels a little to calm him before he’s joined by his sister. “Come on, Daddy,” Jack says in the voice he uses when he’s speaking “for” the babies. Bitty knows Jack is more than the monotone hockey robot who gives clipped, clearly rehearsed answers on camera—knows what Jack sounds like when he’s chirping his friends or emotional after a game or—lord help him—in bed, when it’s just the two of them, and Bitty’s about to bring him to his knees. But Dad Jack is new, and unexpectedly adorable. “We want you to swim with us.”
Bitty hits send on his email to Hannah and sets his phone facedown on the pool lounge. It’s only July. Christmas can wait.
November 15
To: Jack Zimmermann, Suzanne Bittle, Richard Bittle, Bob Zimmermann, Alicia Zimmermann, Jess O’Donnell, Byron Knight, Larissa Duan
CC: Hannah Leary
Subject: My holiday schedule
Attachment: EricBittleHolidayBookTourItinerary
Attachment: MedicalRelease
Hi, everyone! I’m copying everyone on this email so we’re all on the same page. My book/holiday PR tour kicks off on November 27, and I couldn’t do it without all of you on the home team. As you know, Jack will be holding down the fort at home with some help from Jess, our sitter. Some key events for all of you to remember:
- Jess typically cares for the babies at our house on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons from noon–6.
- Jack coaches on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons from 4–5:30. He has games on Saturday mornings beginning at 8 am.
- Jess has December 18–January 2 off.
- Jack’s kiddos have a tournament in Boston December 3 - 5. He’s leaving on the afternoon of the 3rd and should be back by early evening on the 5th.
- My mother will be in town to help out the weekend of December 3, when Jack is at his tournament and I’m on the West Coast.
- Bob and Alicia will be helping December 13 - 17 and will return on the 23rd to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.
- My parents arrive for Christmas on the evening of the 24th.
I’ll be home most weekends, with the exception of Jack’s tournament weekend, because I’m only making one trip to the West Coast this tour so we’re scheduling events on the weekend.
For our parents: You’ve been given copies of our insurance information and a medical release in case something happens while the babies are in your care. Shitty (Byron) Knight and Larissa Duan are our emergency contacts. You should already have their info.
For everybody: My tour itinerary is attached.
Thank you for all of your support! We’re in the home stretch with this book release, and I couldn’t do any of it without you!
Eric
The thing about Christmas is that it comes every year, no matter how ready you are. After nearly a decade in this business Bitty should know that. When the red cups start appearing in Starbucks, a good two months before the actual holiday, Bitty knows it’s go time.
All of the holiday specials air in December, but they film a couple months in advance. All of the content for Bitty’s vlog, his socials … those get prepared early too, so they’re ready to go come December and all Bitty has to do is post them the right day. By the time the holiday actually rolls around, Bitty’s been celebrating Christmas for months. And this year is especially hectic because like a fool, Bitty had agreed with his publisher that a holiday-themed cookbook would be “good for the brand.”
It seemed like a good idea, at the time. Holiday books sell well every year, and come with built-in promotional opportunities. In the back of his mind, Bitty had been planning this book for years before his publisher suggested it.
How was he to have known, back when he signed the contract for this book, that by the time it arrived he and Jack would have not one but two babies. For as much as they’d tried to coordinate Bitty’s publishing and Jack’s NHL schedule with their plans to begin their family, they hadn’t counted on finding out their surrogate was pregnant with twins.
The year has been stressful, blissful, and bittersweet, in equal measure. Oliver and Clementine were born in February and Bitty spent the next months juggling final edits for the book with caring for two newborns while Jack finished out his final NHL season.
The Falconers, the team Jack had been fortunate enough to stick with for his entire career, just missed making the finals after a strong post-season run. It was bittersweet because there would be no second generation Zimmermann babies to sit in the Stanley Cup, but Jack later confessed his relief over this to Bitty. “Why should they be defined by something that happens to them before they can even remember it?” he’d asked, and Bitty had agreed. If Jack was at peace with not closing out his storied career with one last Cup, if it meant their kids getting to avoid the media scrutiny that had always haunted Jack for just a little longer, then who was Bitty to complain?
The ensuing months have been blissful. Well, as blissful as they can be, with two infants in the house. Bitty knew the holiday PR tour was looming, but he’d put off thinking about it the same way he put off thinking about writing his thesis back in college. The months in between Jack’s retirement and Bitty’s book launch were for family bonding, becoming a family of four, figuring out who they were without hockey in their lives. They were for sleepless nights that didn’t seem quite as lonely with Jack by his side, and for delighting in each new milestone the babies hit. They were for falling in love all over again, not with the handsome college hockey captain Jack had been all those years ago, but with the doting dad he’s become, the one who’ll move heaven and earth to make sure their babies always know they’re safe and loved.
And Jack’s a great dad, easily taking in stride all the things that fluster Bitty. He just has this ability to remain calm and unflappable in the midst of chaos. It must come from all those years mentoring ever-younger rookies because this Jack is definitely not the guy whose morning could be derailed by Bitty’s shower singing.
So Bitty’s not too worried about how the babies will do without him, or how Jack will take to solo parenting. He’s more worried about how he’s going to cope, away from his little family for such a long time.
But. Time to put on his big boy pants, as Bitty’s MooMaw would say. Jack has spent most of their relationship on the road, and they survived it. They’ll survive this, too.
November 29
Bitty: Landed.
Jack: Nice. How’s LA?
Bitty: LA.
Jack: Ha ha.
Bitty: It’s 75 degrees and we’re serving hot cider at tonight’s signing.
Jack: You always complain about how cold it is this time of year, so it sounds perfect for you.
---
Voicemail, 9:10 pm
Hi, Honey. I guess it’s pretty late at home; I keep forgetting about the time change even though I shouldn’t because at this point I’ve been up almost twenty-four hours. Just wanted to see how your day was. The signing went really well. Standing room only, and the store sold a bunch of my backlist, too! I’m gonna go to bed but I’ll call in the morning. Love you.
November 30
Jack Zimmermann’s call log:
Missed call, Bitty, 9:45 am
Missed call, Bitty, 9:50 am
Missed call, Bitty, 10:23 am
---
Jack: Sorry I missed your call. Clem had a diaper blowout. And then while I was changing her, Ollie got into Puck’s food. It was a shit show. Literally.
Jack: [photo of cat food spilled all over the kitchen floor]
Bitty: Oh no!
Jack: I finally got her cleaned up and the cat food back in the dish but then Ollie needed a diaper change.
Bitty: What are you doing now?
Jack: I’m about to put them in the stroller for a walk. Might stop by the coffee shop.
Jack: What are you up to?
Bitty: Getting ready for a segment on the local news. We’re live at Disneyland!
Jack: Say hi to Mickey for me.
Bitty: Give the babies kisses for me.
Jack: None for me?
Bitty: All the kisses for you. 😘
December 1
Bitty: Just landed in SF.
Jack: For two days right?
Bitty: Another morning show tomorrow and a signing in San Mateo tomorrow evening.
Bitty: I’m having dinner with the Chows tonight.
Jack: Nice. Tell them hi.
Bitty: What about you? How was your day?
Jack: Well…
Bitty: Should I be worried?
Jack: It was fine. Jess is sick and I couldn’t find anybody to watch the babies on short notice, so I took them to work.
Bitty: Oh, honey.
Jack: I set them up in the stroller and they napped most of the time.
Bitty: Not all?
Jack: Ollie woke up and got fussy, so I just wore him for the rest of practice.
Bitty: Not on the ice, I hope!
Jack: Don’t worry. I stayed on the sidelines.
Bitty: Sorry it was a rough day. 🙁
Jack: It was fun. Papa and babies bonding time. That’s why I retired, right?
Jack: I think they liked watching the kids skate.
Bitty: Awww. I wish I could have been there.
Jack: You didn’t miss much. I think the kids missed your cookies after practice, though. I took clementines. They weren’t impressed.
December 2
Voicemail, 8:13 pm
Hey honey, you there? I guess not, since I’m talking to your voicemail, I’m not sure why I said that. I just realized how late it is. Babies get to bed okay? I just got back to the hotel with takeout. Shake Shack, because it was at the shopping center where I did my signing. Give me a call if you’re still awake.
It doesn’t hit Bitty that Jack is retired—really really retired—until he reflexively turns on the Falcs game in his hotel room. Up until now, it’s been easy to pretend Jack’s been on an extended summer break, not unlike that year he had knee surgery and missed the beginning of the season. Sure, there were all the retirement parties, even a jersey retirement ceremony at the beginning of the season that Bitty attended with the babies and Jack’s parents. But those didn’t quite feel real, in this year where the babies have taken precedence above all else and the rest of their life has felt like a surreal dream. When Bitty settles in to watch the game in his hotel room, like he’s done dozens of times over the years, and Jack isn’t there in the starting lineup wearing the ‘C’—that’s when it feels real.
He’s just spread his dinner out on the hotel room desk when Jack calls back.
“Shake Shack, eh?” Bitty can hear the chirp in Jack’s voice.
“It was that or vegan fast food. Or overpriced room service.” Bitty dips a fry into the little container of cheese sauce. It always strikes him as ironic, going straight from these fancy gourmet kitchen stores where he does book signings and teaches fans to make a recipe or two, to the nearest fast food joint for his own dinner. But at the end of these long days, all he wants is comfort food in the privacy of his hotel room. “What’re you up to?”
“Watching Rudolph.”
“By yourself?”
“I figured we’ll probably want to watch it with the kids in a few years. Wanted to make sure it’s appropriate. Oh, hold on a sec.” Bitty hears a rustling sound, and a muffled gurgle.
“Is one of the babies with you right now?”
“Yeah, Clem’s been having a rough day. I think she’s teething.”
“Are you sure it’s not a cold?”
“It’s definitely teeth. I can feel a little rough spot on her top gums.”
“Awww.” Bitty feels tears building up behind his eyes. “Poor girl.”
“She seems to do okay when I’m holding her,” Jack says. “I brought her out here so she doesn’t disturb Ollie.”
Much like the Grinch, Bitty feels his heart grow three sizes. He may never be normal about the fact that Jack is such a dad.
“Did you know this movie is kind of depressing?” Jack continues. “I never really thought about how sad it was when I was a kid. I guess it’s been a long time since I watched it.”
“Well, some people say it’s a metaphor for being gay,” Bitty says. He didn’t get it either, not until college when Shitty gave a whole speech about it during a team viewing—Jack must have been up in his room studying—but once Shitty’d brought it up, Bitty had always wondered if that was why he related to Rudolph so much when he was little.
“Yeah, I get that. Actually, now that I think of it—”
“Don’t say it, Ransom and Holster noticed the resemblance one year and wouldn’t shut up about it.”
“You do kind of look like him.”
“I know I’m a cute blond twink but I’m not that whiny, am I?”
Jack’s quiet comforting chuckle settles whatever flame of anxiety has been building within Bitty all night. “Hermey wouldn’t be able to handle checking practice, that’s for sure.”
“Not sure I’d fare so well these days, to be honest,” Bitty admits. It’s been a long time since he’s laced up his skates for more than a few laps around the rink during Falcs family skate days.
“We have a few years before we have to worry about teaching the kids, anyway,” Jack says. “If they even want to. Maybe they’d rather be dentists.”
Bitty giggles, overcome with another wave of love for his husband, who understands better than anyone they know how it feels to be born with your life already planned out. “Yeah, dentists.”
Jack sighs contentedly. “I miss you, bud.”
“Me too. I’m sorry I’m not there with you. Especially with Clem feeling out of sorts. I should be with y’all.”
“We’re managing,” Jack says blithely. “Oh, hang on.” It sounds like Jack’s walking somewhere because Yukon Cornelius’ voice gets momentarily louder before fading out almost completely. Bitty doesn’t mind, he’s just content to go on this journey with Jack.
He hears the creak of wood underfoot, that spot in the kitchen that always gives Jack away when he gets up for a late night snack, and a whispered “fuck” before Jack comes back to him, louder. “I forgot my tea in the kitchen,” he explains. “It’s cold.” Clem begins to fuss, her little whimpers growing into full-blown cries. Jack begins quietly singing something to her in French, a soothing little refrain that always seems to calm the babies right down. Bitty takes advantage of the break to finish eating his now-cold fries.
“Sorry that took so long,” Jack apologizes when Clem’s quiet again. “I shouldn’t have gotten up.”
“Are you happy?” Bitty blurts out, that anxious feeling sparking back to life as he remembers the game Jack isn’t playing, isn’t even watching. He’s not sure why he’s in such a maudlin mood tonight.
“Huh?”
“You don’t regret retiring, do you? Now that you can’t change your mind?”
“Where’s this coming from?”
“Your team is on a five game winning streak and you’re watching Rudolph with a fussy ten-month old. I know that’s what I wanted but I’m not even there right now and you—”
“I wanted it too, remember?” Jack says evenly. “This was the plan, even before the babies. That once I retired, your career would be the priority. We agreed.”
“I know, but they’re at such a difficult stage and I just feel so guilty that I’m not there.”
Jack’s chuckle is fond. “I have news for you, bud: they’re kids. There’s always going to be a difficult stage. You’ll be here for the next one. And if you aren’t, it’ll be because you’re out there supporting me in my retirement.”
“And all the haters said I was your trophy husband.”
Jack chuckles again, and it must disturb Clem a little because Bitty can hear a surprised little squawk and a few breathy hiccups that calm down when Jack begins to hum that soothing little song. It settles Bitty, too, and not for the first time he considers that the one drawback to finally having everything they ever wanted, everything they worked so hard for, is that “everything” keeps them so damn busy. Because right now, he wants nothing more than to be watching Christmas specials on the couch with his family.
December 4
Home For the Holidays: One Baker Hopes His Family’s Recipes Will Find a Place at Your Table
December 4, 2028 3:46 PM ET
Transcript
BRISTOL JENKINS, HOST: Eric Bittle is best known for his pair of James Beard Award-winning cookbooks, Pies From the Bakehaus and Beyond the Bakehaus. Now, just in time for the holidays, he’s back with another sure-to-be bestseller: Holidays at the Bakehaus. NPR’s Sariyah Lane has more.
SARIYAH LANE, BYLINE: If you’re a home baker of a certain age, you’ve probably heard of Eric Bittle. He first gained prominence as baking vlogger when he was still in college. Originally from Georgia, Bittle was baking before he could read.
ERIC BITTLE: My MooMaw—that’s my grandma—was watching me one night while my parents were at a holiday party, but she also had to make a half-dozen pies for the church Christmas social. To keep me busy, she gave me some dough and a rolling pin to play with and I just kind of took to it.
LANE: ‘Took to it’ is an understatement. Bittle was still a pre-teen when he won his first ribbon for his apple pie at a local fair. By high school he was sharing his own recipes with others on his YouTube channel, OMG, Check Please!, which was as much a video diary as it was baking tutorial.
(SOUNDBITE OF RECORDING: So hey, y’all. Back again with a new vlog! Now, for a while, some of you have been asking about my love life … and for advice…)
LANE: In college, he was as well-known for the pies he took to parties as he was for being the captain of the men’s hockey team. He signed his first book contract before he even graduated.
BITTLE: That first book was just pies. That’s what I knew best. But my editors told me I needed to branch out, so the second book featured a variety of desserts.
LANE: Both of those books featured Bittle’s own recipes. Now, with the release of his third book, Holidays at the Bakehaus, he’s turned to others for inspiration.
BITTLE: I wanted to do something for the holidays. And the holiday season has always been about spending time with loved ones, so for this book I asked friends and family to share their favorite recipes that have, over the years, become part of my family’s story, too.
LANE: There’s a recipe for Russian tea cakes, a popular Christmas treat. And one for banh hanh nhan, a Vietnamese almond cookie often enjoyed during Lunar New Year. Both of these recipes, and more, were shared by Bittle’s longtime friends.
BITTLE: Once I told them what I was doing, everybody wanted to be involved.
LANE: But Bittle’s sentimental favorite might just be the recipe contributed by his father-in-law, retired NHL great Bad Bob Zimmermann.
BITTLE: He had his grandma’s sufganiyot recipe, but he’d never made it. After a few drinks last Hanukkah, we decided to take a stab at it. He cried when he took the first bite, said it tasted just the way he remembered. That recipe is especially meaningful because my husband and I have ten-month-old twins, and someday they’ll be able to help their grandpa make his grandma’s sufganiyot. That’s really what this book is about: the way food creates these connections between generations and cultures. Some of the recipes are associated with holidays, but really, they can be enjoyed at any time of the year.
LANE: So does grandma’s pie make an appearance?
BITTLE: (Laughter) She always said she’d take that recipe with her to the grave, but as soon as I told her I wanted to put it in the book, she changed her mind. She’s been bragging about having a published recipe to all of her friends for months.
December 6
Christmas, Bitty decides a week into the tour, is overrated.
For the past two years, and especially the past month, he has done nothing but live, breathe, and eat (literally!) Christmas. The darn holiday is still nineteen days away and he’s already over it. He’s spent so much time in independent bookstore and high end kitchen retailers that he can rattle off the season’s most popular gifts like he’s Santa Claus himself. He has the holiday drink menus at three different coffee chains memorized, and nothing is worth sharing in his stories. And to top it all off, it’s almost 80 degrees here in Phoenix, with nary a snowman in sight!
Somebody put a Santa hat on a cactus in his hotel’s parking lot. Apparently that’s as close as it gets to “winter wonderland” around here.
It doesn’t help that Jack just sent pictures of the kids bundled up in the most adorable fleece one-pieces that George sent over. Their little round, bright-eyed faces peek out from their hoods—Ollie’s has reindeer ears, while Clem’s resembles a teddy bear—and Bitty’s heart aches with missing them.
It’s too warm to even think about getting a peppermint mocha from the Dunkin’ near his hotel, so he settles for a “spiced cookie” iced latte, which Jack would definitely chirp him for. Deservedly too, because it’s disgusting. Bitty isn’t a coffee guy, but he’d be happy to help overhaul Dunkin’s holiday menu to get something drinkable.
“Eric! Right on time!” The production assistant greets him when he arrives at the studio for his appearance on a local afternoon news and lifestyle show. He’s still sipping on the gross cookie latte. “Let’s get you into wardrobe.” She steers him down the hall. “Our morning news crew is wearing ugly holiday sweaters every morning until Christmas and we thought it’d be fun for our guests to do the same.”
A sweater, when it’s 80 degrees outside! Bitty has never exactly made peace with the cold Northeastern winters, but there has got to be a happy medium.
But he’s not here to be a Grinch, he’s here to spread holiday cheer via baked goods. So he pastes a big smile on his face and pretends every sip of this godawful iced latte is infusing him with the Christmas spirit.
December 7
Jack: I think I got the stomach bug all the kids got at the tournament.
Bitty: Oh no!
Jack: It was only a matter of time.
Bitty: How are you feeling?
Jack: Gross.
Bitty: Are you doing okay with the kids? Should I come home?
Jack: Maman and Papa are already on their way.
Bitty: They’re not due in until next week!
Jack: That’s what I said, but they insisted.
Jack: I’ll muddle through until they get here.
Jack: It can’t be worse than that time I played with food poisoning.
Bitty: That was NOT a good decision.
Jack: We won, though.
Bitty: As soon as your parents get there, I want you to go to bed and get some rest. Are you hydrating? Taking cold and flu meds?
Jack: Yes and yes.
Jack: How’s your day? Where are you again?
Bitty: Phoenix. Ugh. It’s in the 80s today.
Jack: Good luck.
Bitty: I wish you were here.
Bitty: Except not, because you’re sick.
Bitty: You know what I mean.
---
Bitty: Jack said you’re heading over to help out for a few days?
Alicia: Just until he feels better.
Bitty: I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for us this year. It’s too much!
Bob: You can always thank us with pie.
Bitty: Just put it on my tab.
Alicia: We should be thanking YOU, for the opportunity to spend so much time with our grandbabies.
Bitty: Let me know how he’s doing once you get there. You know he likes to downplay things when he’s sick.
Alicia: I will.
Bitty: I feel so bad I’m not there.
Alicia: I know it’s hard. But we are all so proud of you.
Bitty: Does it get easier?
Alicia: Not really. But soon the babies will be old enough to travel with you, and that helps.
Bitty: Give all three of them big hugs and kisses for me.
Alicia: Will do.
Bitty: Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
---
Bitty: Did you know they decorate cacti for Christmas in Arizona?
Bitty: I did NOT, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
Lardo: How do you feel about Christmas tree cheese ball? Shitty found a 1950s recipe that he wants to make for his office party this weekend.
Lardo: [photo]
Bitty: Oh lord.
Bitty: What is the green?
Lardo: I think it’s parsley.
Lardo: It’s either this or sausage balls. But I think he only wants to make that so he can tell people to taste his balls.
Bitty: Obviously.
Bitty: Why is his office party so early?
Lardo: This is the first of many. Can’t exactly skip out on them when you’re about to make partner.
Bitty: Godspeed.
December 10
Voicemail, 3:50 pm
Hey, bud. I know you’re still in the air right now but there’s something I need to tell you before you get home. My parents hired a decorator to put the lights up on the house. It was supposed to be a surprise for us but, uh, he got there right when I was leaving. I know we were supposed to decorate together when you get back. Maman and Papa didn’t know, they just wanted to be helpful because we’ve been so busy. So when you get home, try to act like it’s a good surprise and not, uh, a surprise surprise. It’s the blue and white lights, like we talked about. Oh, and my parents took the babies for a walk this afternoon and put them down for their naps right as I was leaving, so hopefully they’ll be in a good mood when you get in. I think they miss you. Okay, I’ve gotta go, I just got to the rink and some of the kids are already here. I’ll see you after practice tonight. Love you.
December 13
The New York Times
The Best Cookbooks of 2028
By Janelle Messina
Excerpt:
For the nostalgic home baker: Holidays at the Bakehaus, Eric Bittle
Nobody does comfort bakes like Eric Bittle, whose first book focused solely on pies any home baker could master. Indeed, he frequently brags about teaching his former NCAA hockey teammates how to make everything from chocolate chip cookies to intricately-latticed apple pies. The latest installment in his Bakehaus series—the name is a nod to the hockey “haus” he lived in while a student at Samwell University more than a decade ago—takes that conceit one step further. For this book, Bittle called on friends and family to provide many of the the recipes, which they adapted together. And since Bittle’s inner circle includes just as many professional athletes as it does celebrity chefs and county fair ribbon-winners, it’s an eclectic mix. He bills it as a holiday cookbook, but notes that while most recipes have a connection to their contributors’ cultural or religious observations, they can be enjoyed at any time of year. Bittle’s personal anecdotes and notes alongside each recipe—an extension of the warm, accessible social media persona he’s cultivated since his vlogging days—make it feel as though the book was written by an old friend. With everything from his own Christmas morning cinnamon rolls to a former supermodel’s cranberry tart, you’re sure to find something to delight everyone at your holiday table.
---
Shitty: Hey, check out Bits in the motherfucking NY Times today: [link]
Jack: Nice.
Ransom: Congrats, man!
Bitty: Y’all. I’ve been in the Times before.
Lardo: As a best cookbook of the year? Bits, that’s a big deal!
Bitty: Technically, you’re all NYT best of the year since you all contributed recipes.
Holster: Can I put that on my resume?
Bitty: I guess?
December 14
Bitty: Sorry I didn’t call earlier. Busy day.
Jack: Us too. We went to the car wash.
Bitty: Exciting!
Jack: It was. I think they really liked all the lights.
Bitty: Awww. I wish I could have been there.
Jack: Car wash will be here when you get back.
Bitty: We should take them to see some holiday lights.
Jack: We can do it this weekend. When you get back?
Bitty: That sounds perfect.
December 16
Suzanne: I saw you on the Today Show this morning. You were wonderful!
Bitty: Everybody LOVED your peppermint chocolate crinkles. I made enough for the crew.
Suzanne: I can’t believe you baked for the president’s daughter!
Bitty: Mother, he hasn’t been the president for decades.
Suzanne: It’s still an honor. Did you get to meet Al Roker?
Bitty: Yeah, behind the scenes. He’s nice.
Suzanne: I always thought he would be. He's SO handsome for a man his age.
Bitty: MOTHER.
Bitty: I have to go get ready for my next thing. I’m taping a segment with Seth Meyers for his show.
Suzanne: Fun! When will it air?
Bitty: Sometime next week.
Bitty: But you might want to skip it. I don’t think it’ll be your thing.
---
Bitty: Hi, homey. I’m hone.
Jack: How drunk are you?
Bitty: Mmm. Me & Seth had hot butter yum
Bitty: Tum
Bitty: RUM
Bitty: But it was yum
Jack: Got it.
Bitty: We had shots too!
Jack: Glad you had fun.
Jack: Drink some water and eat something.
Jack: And maybe go to bed and get some sleep before your flight tomorrow morning.
Bitty: Yes, Captain
December 17
Bitty: I am so hungover.
Jack: I could have predicted that.
Bitty: I don’t know how Seth does that on a regular basis. I feel like a frog after my first kegster.
Jack: Oh, bud.
Bitty: I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this flight.
Jack: Well, if you want something else to look forward to, as of last night, both babies are teething.
Bitty: Oh lord.
Jack: They can’t wait to see their daddy. :-)
Bitty: I think you are enjoying this entirely too much.
Bitty: Oh my lord, the woman sitting behind me brought FRIED CALAMARI onto the plane. 🤢
Bitty: Who does that???
Jack: You gonna be okay?
Jack: Bits?
December 20
Bitty: Do you think Jack is still attracted to me?
Lardo: Is this a trick question?
Bitty: I got home on Saturday morning and we barely touched all weekend.
Bitty: I thought he’d be happy to see me but he basically threw the babies at me and went on a run.
Bitty: Then came home and slept all afternoon.
Bitty: And then he went to bed early. Didn’t even want to cuddle on the couch.
Lardo: Dude. He’s taking care of two infants 24/7. What did you do when the situation was reversed?
Bitty: Yeah, you’re right.
Lardo: And you got some quality one-on-one time with the kids, right? That’s good for everyone.
Bitty: I guess I didn’t think it would be this hard. I thought it would get easier when he retired.
Bitty: Like, even with all of Jack’s travel, even when he was exhausted, we always connected in the bedroom.
Lardo: Part of the reason he retired was so YOU could do stuff like this. Just think how hard it would be if you were both on the road.
Lardo: And dude, I REALLY don’t want to know about your sex life, but it’s normal for things to be a little different for a while in the first year after having a baby. Everyone is exhausted and in survival mode. And that’s couples with normal jobs and just one baby.
Bitty: Why must you be so reasonable?
Bitty: I just want to to tell me I’m not crazy for wanting to have sex with my husband.
Lardo: You’re not crazy for wanting to have sex with your husband.
Lardo: And I’m sure he still wants to have sex with you.
Lardo: But I think you need to temper your expectations.
Lardo: Also I need you to not talk about this to me ever again. I don’t share those deets about me and Shitty.
Bitty: Point taken.
Lardo: Where are you right now?
Bitty: On my flight to Orlando. I’m doing the morning news at Epcot tomorrow to promote the baking show I filmed there back in September.
Lardo: lol have fun paying fealty to your corporate overlords. Shits and I are taking dinner over to Jack tonight. We’ll make sure he’s getting enrichment in his enclosure.
December 21 (early morning)
Late Night With Seth Meyers
pre-recorded segment: Day Drinking With Seth & Eric
[A close up of Eric Bittle and Seth Meyers, seated on opposite sides of a bar that’s decorated in a style best described as “Christmas Kitsch.” Each is holding a cocktail glass.]
SETH: Hey, everyone, I’m at the Miracle holiday pop up bar in Midtown with Eric Bittle. And in honor of his new holiday cookbook, we’re going to be making some seasonal cocktails.
ERIC: ’Tis the season, y’all. [They toast]
SETH: It’s time for Day Drinking With Seth and Eric.
[“Daydrinking” theme music plays and a graphic with illustrated versions of Eric Bittle and Seth Meyers, each holding a cocktail glass similar to the ones they’re holding in real life, appears on the screen]
[New scene. Eric and Seth are both standing behind the bar.]
SETH: My wife and I watch your show at home, but you don’t typically feature drinks. Do you have a secret past as a bartender we don’t know about?
ERIC: It’s true I’m more of a baker than a mixologist, but when I was putting my new book together I was told I need to include some drink recipes for people to serve at their holiday parties. And I lived in a frat house for three years in college, so I know a thing or two about parties.
SETH: And alcohol, probably.
ERIC: [stage whisper] Don’t tell my mama.
SETH: What are we drinking today?
ERIC: [begins pulling bottles out from under the bar and lining them up in front of him] This first drink actually didn’t make the cut for the book, but it was inspired by my husband Jack, who—
SETH: There it is!
ERIC: What?
SETH: You said Jack.
ERIC: Well, he is my husband.
SETH: Did you know there’s a drinking game people play where they drink every time you mention his name on your show? [camera pans out to reveal a line of shot glasses that were previously just out of frame]
ERIC: Sounds like that’s your cue to drink, then.
SETH: [takes a shot]
ERIC: My fans who’ve been with me since my college vlogging days know that’s nothing new. Most of my early videos have a lot of Jack content.
SETH: You said it again [takes a shot] Are you going to play?
ERIC: Oh lord, if I had to drink every time I say Jack’s name [takes a shot] Anyway, as I was saying, this is a drink that didn’t make it into the book but it was inspired by the fact that Jack [Seth takes another shot and raises his eyebrow] is from Canada. I call it the Lumberjack.
SETH: Wait, does lumberjack count?
ERIC: What does your heart say?
SETH: [they both take a shot] What’s in the Lumberjack?
ERIC: [takes another shot and gives Seth a pointed look]
SETH: [takes a shot]
ERIC: Mostly, it’s pure maple syrup and bourbon. [Eric adds both to a glass while Seth, following his lead, does the same.] The stronger the better because who wants a weak lumberjack?
SETH: I’ll drink to that. [they both take a shot]
ERIC: And then we add some orange juice, some lemon juice, bitters … [Eric haphazardly throws ingredients in as he mentions them, Seth follows suit] some seltzer… [points the seltzer nozzle at the glass, missing it and spraying it all over the bar] And we top it off with this pine-infused gin and a sprig of pine. Because lumberjacks [they both take a shot] chop down trees.
SETH: That’s it?
ERIC: That’s it. [he raises his glass and grins at the camera]
SETH: Cheers. [they both drink and grimace, set the drinks to the side] Yeah, I can see why this one didn’t make the cut.
ERIC: I’m a baker, not a mixologist. That’s my friend Shitty’s department.
SETH: You have a friend named—
ERIC: Yeah, it’s an old college hockey nickname. He was in charge of making the tub juice for our kegsters. Which, coincidentally, is the next drink on the menu.
SETH: Do I even dare ask what tub juice is?
ERIC: Honey, tub juice is whatever you want it to be.
SETH: That description doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence.
ERIC: If you have to ask, you aren’t drunk enough.
SETH: [resigned] Bring it on, then.
ERIC: [pulls a pitcher out from under the bar and begins choosing bottles of alcohol and other beverages at random, pouring them into the pitcher one at a time] The key to tub juice is to not think too hard about it. And the cheaper the ingredients, the better.
SETH: Did you just put blue Gatorade in there?
ERIC: [shrugs] We played hockey, we always had blue Gatorade on hand.
SETH: Did you ever play hockey drunk?
ERIC: No, but I went to plenty of practices hung over. I do not recommend it. [pours spiced rum into the pitcher]
SETH: [shudders]
ERIC: Ready to try it?
SETH: I’ll try anything once.
ERIC: [pours a violently bright blue liquid into two glasses] Cheers. [they toast and drink]
ERIC: And if my kids happen to be watching this eighteen years from now, I absolutely did not do this in college.
[Cut to a new scene]
SETH: You have one more drink for us.
ERIC: This hot buttered rum recipe—
SETH: Oh, thank god it’s a real drink.
ERIC: —comes from my former college thesis advisor who’s become a great friend. Of course, she didn’t share this recipe with me until after I graduated, but it’s a fixture at her annual holiday party. And let me tell you, it packs a punch. Humanities professors are wild, y’all.
SETH: You prepped this earlier today, right?
ERIC: The base is a batter-based butt— er, butter-based batter.
SETH: What’s in the butter?
ERIC: It’s a mix of brown sugar and spices. The full recipe is in my new book, Holidays at the Bakehaus.
SETH: He’s got a book, Y’ALL.
ERIC: [winks at the camera] In stores now! [spoons some batter into each glass] Normally I’d measure this, but if you don’t have a set of measuring spoons, you can eyeball it. Same with the rum. [pours a generous amount of rum into each glass] And finally we add some hot water [grabs a kettle of water and pours some into each glass] and stir it up. [they each grab a long-handled spoon and vigorously stir their drinks, spilling some in the process.]
SETH: This actually looks … good.
ERIC: Cheers, Seth. [they toast and drink]
SETH: You were right, that’s strong.
ERIC: Right? My husband—
SETH: What’s his name?
ERIC: [looking directly at the camera and smirking] Jack. [they both drink]
SETH: What about Jack? [they drink]
ERIC: He had to impose a two-drink limit on this one because I tend to get a little … well, this is a family-friendly show, so I don’t think I can say.
SETH: This is late night.
ERIC: Some things should be kept between spouses. [looks at the camera again] Hi, honey. I’ll be home soon.
SETH: Are you booty calling your husband on my show?
[Cut to a new scene. Eric and Seth are both standing behind the bar. In front of them is a tray of cookies and an array of colored icing and decorations.]
SETH: Now we’re going to decorate some cookies.
ERIC: I hope you’ve been practicing.
SETH: Oh, I’ve been practicing. [picks up a cookie] I’ll decorate this … what is this?
ERIC: [gently takes the cookie from Seth and turns it right-side-up] It’s an angel.
SETH: I’ll decorate this angel. And you have a …?
ERIC: I’ve got a snowman.
[they each pick up a tube of icing and make small talk while decorating]
SETH: Is this a boy angel or a girl angel?
ERIC: I don’t know if angels have gender.
SETH: No?
ERIC: Don’t quote me. I’m a baker, not a theologist?
SETH: Theologist?
ERIC: [giggling] The-o-lo— gician?
SETH: Theologician! [raises his cookie triumphantly. The angel’s head falls off] (sadly) Oh. That’s an ugly angel.
ERIC: (consolingly) Maybe angels don’t need to have heads.
[Cut to a new scene. Seth and Eric are holding their decorated cookies face-forward toward the camera. Seth’s headless angel is covered in messy streaks of red and pink icing. There is a clump of silver sprinkles in the middle. Eric’s snowman is perfectly decorated with a base of evenly-spread white frosting and a perfectly-piped-on black hat and red scarf. The camera pans in on the messy counter for a closeup. The angel’s head, decorated with two blue dots and a streaky red line that seem to represent eyes and a mouth, is visible.]
SETH: I can’t help but notice your snowman looks perfect. How did you do that?
ERIC: I lived in a frat house in college, remember? I’ve done some of my best baking while drunk. Or so I’m told. [smiles sweetly at the camera]
SETH: And that’s Day Drinking With Seth and Eric.
---
Suzanne: I recorded that Seth Meyers show and watched it this morning. You didn’t tell me you were going to get DRUNK on national TV!
Bitty: That’s the segment. He’s done it with a bunch of people. Ina Garten, Lizzo, Kelly Clarkson…
Suzanne: They aren’t my SON.
Bitty: This is why I told you not to watch it.
Suzanne: A man your age, acting like a college boy. You have children at home!
Bitty: You know Seth did one of those segments with *his* mom once?
Suzanne: Well, I certainly hope you don’t ask me to do that on YOUR show.
Bitty: Given your apparent feelings on the matter, I can’t imagine I will.
Suzanne: And bringing your poor husband into it with that crass drinking game.
Bitty: Jack’s a good sport about it. My fans have been doing it since before they knew we were together.
Suzanne: His parents must be mortified.
Bitty: Bob plays the game, too.
Suzanne: I hope your next appearance is something I can share with my friends.
Bitty: Do you have anything nice to say?
Suzanne: I liked the sweater you wore. It was very slimming.
---
Voicemail, 10:22 am:
Oh my lord, you will not BELIEVE what my mother did. She had the AUDACITY to watch my Day Drinking segment and then complain about how cringe it was. Not in those words, obviously, but apparently I EMBARRASSED her because I got drunk on TV EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HER NOT TO WATCH BECAUSE I KNEW SHE WOULD DO THIS. And then! Then, icing on the cake, she body shamed me. If she calls you to complain about me, which we both know she will, let it go to voicemail.
---
Voicemail, 10:25 am:
I just realized I didn’t even ask how YOUR morning’s been. I’m guessing you’re busy, huh? Is today library day or play group day? Give the babies hugs and kisses for me.
---
Voicemail, 12:34 pm:
Hey, Bits. Just listened to your messages. The kids and I were at the library. It’s a nice day so I put them in the jogging stroller and we ran over. Got to use the new weather cover so they stayed extra warm. We had lunch when we got home and I just put them down to nap. I don’t think they’re sleeping yet, I can hear Ollie babbling. Don’t worry about your mom, you knew she wouldn’t like the thing with Seth. I thought it was funny. Are you sure she body shamed you, I —
Bitty’s dialing before he finishes listening to Jack’s message. “She definitely body shamed me,” he says without preamble.
“What did she say?”
“That my sweater was, and I quote, ‘very slimming.’” It’s been a few hours, but Bitty is still fuming. Fuming, and reassessing his entire wardrobe.
Jack sighs audibly. “It was,” he says tightly. “This is really why you’re calling?”
“You too? You’re supposed to support me.”
“It’s a nice sweater,” Jack says, tone softening. “It’s not body shaming to point that out.”
“You know she didn’t mean that it’s a ‘nice sweater.’ If that’s what she meant, she would have said it.”
“Did she use the voice?” Jack asks, referring to the exaggeratedly chipper tone Suzanne Bittle uses when she’s feeling particularly passive aggressive. It is, unfortunately, a tendency Bitty himself has inherited.
“It was a text,” Bitty admits. “But she probably would have!”
“I think you’re reading too much into it, bud.”
“Am I?” Bitty asks. “She could have told me I’m fat, oh, I don’t know, before I went on a bunch of TV shows?”
“Bits.” The way Jack says his name is a warning, not an endearment.
“I know.” They’ve talked about this ad nauseam, the relationship they both have with their bodies thanks to sports and, in Jack’s case, a lifetime in the public eye. How they don’t want their babies to internalize all of their baggage. How that begins with the way they use words like fat and fit.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Jack says helplessly.
“I want you to say I’m just as hot as I was in college and that you’re still attracted to me,” Bitty says petulantly.
“Okay, well, that came out of nowhere.”
“I’m sorry,” Bitty apologizes, realizing how ridiculous he must sound. After all these years Jack is pretty good at following along with Bitty’s haphazard internal monologue, but something’s felt off these past few weeks. He’s not sure he can blame it on all of his travel because it was never this hard when Jack was still playing. Maybe Lardo’s right, it’s just this stage of being new parents that’s making everything so much harder this time around. “I don’t want to fight with you, especially when my mom is the one who started it.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Jack says. “I didn’t mean to minimize your concerns. For the record, though, I don’t think you need to be concerned.”
“But I don’t look the way I did in college,” Bitty says, digging his heels in just a little. Because it’s not like he hasn’t noticed the ten or so extra pounds that have sneakily crept on this past year and that he just can’t seem to shake.
“You also drank tub juice in college. As you demonstrated last night. Tastes change. So do waistlines.”
“Jack. This isn’t funny.”
“I know, bud,” Jack says tenderly. “I just don’t think this, of all things, is something you need to worry about right now.”
Bitty blows a frustrated breath out through his nose. “I’m sorry I’m like this every time I call lately.”
“It’s okay,” Jack reassures him. “Really. You’re allowed to have a rough day and you’re allowed to complain about it. I just wish you wouldn’t let your mom get under your skin. Because you know that sooner or later it’s not going to be about your weight, or a random TV appearance. It’ll be about how you parent the kids.”
“Oh lord, you’re right.”
“You know she’s proud of you,” Jack adds. “She just—”
“—thinks her way is the right way,” Bitty finishes.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but when she starts in with me I just pretend she’s a reporter and agree with everything she says,” Jack confesses.
“Honey, my mother thinks you can do no wrong. She’s never—”
“A couple years ago, after my most recent surgery. She texted me after my first game back to tell me I looked slow out there. I told her that was because my trainer told me to take it slow, and I appreciated her noticing.”
Bitty stifles a giggle. “That wasn’t—”
“No, I felt like shit out there and everybody could tell. Your mom was the only one rude enough to tell me to my face. And I didn’t tell you this either, but when she was here helping with the babies she got upset because I didn’t put them in their heavy coats to go on a walk. It was only fifty degrees out but she was convinced they’d freeze to death. So I told her she was right, and she should get them ready.”
“Oh my god, I love you,” Bitty says, wondering why it’s taken him so long to catch on to Jack’s unique way of dealing with his mother.
“So the next time she makes a passive aggressive comment about your appearance disguised as a compliment, own it.”
“Like what? Tell her, ‘Thanks, I got it on sale?’”
“Yes. You know she loves a good sale.”
“I kind of love this side of you,” Bitty says. “Who knew you could be so devious?”
“You know I’m sneaky,” Jack says smugly. He sounds exactly like he did years ago, when Suzanne banished them to separate bedrooms during their Christmas visit and he snuck into Bitty’s bed anyway. “You know I don’t mind, right?” he adds. “You keep talking about what your mom thinks, but do you want to know what I was thinking when I was watching that show? I was thinking about how good you looked, and how I can’t wait for you to get home so I can get you alone.”
“Yeah?”
“You’d a lot look better out of the sweater,” Jack says, a low growl in his voice. It’s his turned on voice, and Bitty’s stunned to realize that maybe he’s been reading this entire situation the wrong way.
“Well, we can work on that this weekend,” Bitty says flirtatiously. “As long as you’re not sick. And I’m not hungover. And the babies aren’t keeping us up all night with their teeth. And—”
“I miss you, bud,” Jack cuts him off, but what Bitty hears is I miss the way we are when we’re together. I miss us.
“I miss you, too,” Bitty says, meaning I miss us, too. I miss who I am when I’m with you.
December 22
OMG Check, Please!
TRANSCRIPT
Hey, y’all. The holidays are right around the corner, and I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m being pulled in a million different directions. As you may know, I’ve been on tour all month promoting my new book, Holidays at the Bakehaus, which makes a great gift if you’re still shopping for people on your list. If you came out to one of the tour stops, thank you! I just heard from my publisher that my book is their bestselling book this holiday season, and that’s all thanks to you.
On that note, I’ve been so busy with the tour I haven’t had nearly enough time to film my usual holiday tutorials. I promise I’ll be back in the new year with some new recipes for y’all, but now I thought it would be fun to close out the year with some viewer mail.
Our first letter is from Sarah J., who wants to know how we prepare for the holidays in a multi-faith household. That’s a great question, Sarah. As you may know, I was raised in a Christian home, and my husband Jack is Jewish. Jack and I don’t regularly attend religious services these days, but we have talked about how important it is to share our families’ holiday traditions with our kids. A lot of the recipes in the new book are ones I learned to bake in my MooMaw’s kitchen. And Jack and I have already started making them with the babies. Really! We wear them in front carriers and let them watch while I bake. Now, I didn’t grow up in a Jewish household, so when it comes to those traditions, I plan to let Jack and my in-laws take the lead. Most people know that Jack’s dad is a Hall of Fame hockey player, but not as many are aware that he knows his way around the kitchen. It’s so special to see him and Jack making latkes together, and I know it’ll be even more special when the babies can help.
Okay, second question comes from 420 Blaze It, Esquire. Shitty, is that you? You longtime viewers might know that Shitty is one of my old college teammates, but I’m gonna allow this question because it’s about my kids. Shit—er, Mr. Blaze It—wants to know how my life is different now that I have two little ones.
Life is a lot busier these days that's for sure. And I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, there have been some growing pains, as Jack and I have tried to figure out this parenting thing. Jack retired from playing professional hockey last spring, and having him home more has been absolutely wonderful for our family. But now I’ve just wrapped up my book tour, which was hard on all of us. Well, mostly me. Jack and all of the family and friends who’ve been helping him out have been wonderful. All told, I've been away for a good chunk of the babies’ short little lives. Ultimately—and, I’ve talked about this a lot over the years—I can’t stress enough how important is to be on the same page as your partner. Jack and I have always been real good at communicating, but there have been a couple of times these past few months I’ve had to remind myself how important it is to prioritize that. Because when everyone is tired and pulled in multiple directions, it can be really hard.
I read something in a newsletter the other day, about how to like is to feel but to love is to decide. When you first fall in love with a person, everything feels amazing because it’s so new and exciting. But those feelings—or endorphins, or whatever they are—can’t sustain a relationship in the longterm. That’s when you have to decide to love somebody. It’s even more important now, with two little ones counting on us. Truth be told, I think Jack deserves a gold medal for deciding because I’ve been a real piece of work this past month. But that’s where growth happens, too. If you bail when things get hard, you never get stronger. That’s more of a hockey lesson, I think, but it applies to relationships, too.
But you asked about the babies, not my relationship! They are amazing. Their little personalities are already so apparent. Clem already has a sassy streak, and Ollie loves to snuggle. They’ve just started teething so we’ve been giving them frozen bagels to chew on and they love them! And they’re absolutely enamored with all the holiday lights we see on our evening walks. I know it sounds like a horrible cliché, but I’ve never been happier. Have you, honey?
[Off camera: “What's that, Bits?” ]
I was just sayin' we've never been happier.
[“Oh, yeah. Have you seen the stain remover stick? There's applesauce all over this onesie.”]
[Turning away from the camera] Try the linen top cupboard in the laundry room, I think I put some new ones up there. [Turning back toward the camera] Did I mention Jack is a pro at infant laundry? A man of many talents, that husband of mine.
This next question is from SpinRunKnit. “How do you balance extra holiday indulgences with staying fit? All of the special holiday desserts in the break room and at parties are so tempting, but they’re so bad for my waistline.” Well, SpinRunKnit, the first thing I should tell you is that I’m just a baker, and if you have health concerns you should bring them up with your doctor or a nutritionist. And the second thing is that you seem to be correlating weight or the size you wear with being fit, but one has nothing to do with the other. That said, well … it used to be pretty easy for me to eat whatever I wanted, when I was in college and training for a NCAA sport. And now that I’m a little older, it’s not as easy. Even though I know that my weight and the size I wear have nothing to do with being fit, it can be hard to accept. I’m still working through that, as Jack can attest.
But I do know that between me and Jack, we have a whole mess of diet and body image issues to sort through, and we agreed we don’t want to pass those on to our kids. So even though they’re still infants, we make it a priority to tell them that food is fuel for our bodies, and all bodies are good bodies. Another thing we’ve started saying in our household is that desserts don’t have to be earned. It would be real weird to raise kids in this house if we had rules around when it’s okay to eat sweets. Sometimes a cookie sounds a lot better to me than the miles I’d have to spend running to burn it off, and that’s okay. So I guess my advice is, life is short. Do what makes you happy. As long as it’s not illegal. 420 Blaze It, Esquire would probably want me to add that caveat.
We have time for one dip into the mailbag. This last letter is from PDXCatDad, who wants to know what I’ll be serving at my family’s holiday festivities. I just mentioned that Jack and his dad make the latkes, and since the first day of Hanukkah falls on Christmas Eve this year, we’ll be having those along with Mama Bittle’s stuffed mushrooms and some other appetizers. Since Jack and I have been married, we’ve had a tradition of having homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. And for Christmas dinner, I’ll be making beef bourguignon, at Jack’s request. We usually eat leaner meats, but I made this for Christmas last year and we enjoyed it so much we decided to make it tradition. And of course we’ll have pie for dessert, and whatever other goodies we have around the house since treats have a way of just appearing at this time of year.
Okay, y’all, that’s a wrap on our holiday mailbag episode. If you have a question or comment for the next mailbag, be sure to send them on in via the form on the website. I can’t thank you enough for all of your support this year, and for making the new book a bestseller in its category. Happy holidays, and I’ll see you in the new year!
December 23
Wake Up, Providence!
TRANSCRIPT
VANESSA REYES: Still hunting for gifts on your list? Well, don’t worry because we’ve got Providence’s own Eric Bittle here with some gifts you can make in your kitchen.
[commercial break]
REYES: Welcome back to the show, Eric. It’s been a little while since you last visited us. You’ve had a busy year.
BITTLE: You could say that. (chuckles) My husband Jack and I welcomed our twins, Oliver and Clementine, into our family in February.
REYES: (to the audience) They’re adorable. Eric was just showing me the latest pictures during the break.
BITTLE: They keep us on our toes. They’re crawling all over the place right now but never in the same direction!
REYES: So the twins were born in February, and then in the spring your husband Jack Zimmermann played his last game with the Providence Falconers. For our viewers who don’t know, Jack and my husband Alexei played together until Alexei’s retirement two years ago.
BITTLE: And now they take our kids to library storytime together.
REYES: They both earned contributor credits on your new book, too.
BITTLE: That’s right. My new book, Holidays at the Bakehaus, came out just a few weeks ago. It features new holiday recipes from my test kitchen, as well as recipes shared by my family and friends. And friends who have become family, like you and Alexei. Alexei was kind enough to contribute his family’s recipe for Russian tea cakes.
REYES: They are a family favorite. Tell us more about Holidays at the Bakehaus. You’ve said you were inspired by the recipes your family has shared through generations. Did starting the next generation of your family inspire you to write it now?
BITTLE: As much as I would love to claim this book was inspired by the babies, it was actually in development a little while before we started trying for a family, publishing schedules being what they are. I wanted to do a holiday cookbook for a long time, and when I started looking at the recipes I’ve collected for it over the years, I noticed that about half were actually from other people. Which makes sense because I’ve always believed good food made with love is one of the best gifts you can give. So I asked my family and friends if I could share their recipes alongside the new ones I developed especially for this book, and they were generous enough to say yes.
REYES: Alexei even came over to show you how to make his cookies.
BITTLE: Yes, and I hosted a baking day with some of the Falconers and their families. For all you local hockey fans, we’ve got a few recipes from some familiar faces.
REYES: But you won’t be sharing those with us today.
BITTLE: No, today I’ll be making my MooMaw’s mini Kahlua cakes. The recipe is based around a boxed cake mix and calls for ingredients you can find in the baking aisle at any grocery store. And Kahlua, of course. You can make it in a large bundt pan and serve it sliced, but if you use mini bundt or loaf pans, they become great gifts.
REYES: (mock angry) I’m still upset that Alexei ate the one you sent over last year before I got to try it.
BITTLE: Well, you can have first dibs on the ones we’re about to make.
REYES: (to the viewers) Which we’ll be doing right after the break, so stick around.
[camera pans out and commercial break begins]
December 25, 11:46 pm
After the kids have been put to bed, after the dishes are done, after the last slice of pie has been eaten, Bitty falls into bed and breathes for the first time in a month.
“You aren’t falling asleep on me, are you, bud?” Jack whispers as he changes into an old Falcs shirt and flannel pajama pants. The staticky hum of the baby monitor, occasionally punctuated by a soft baby sigh or whimper, provides a soothing sort of white noise and Bitty just might.
“Not yet,” Bitty promises, because Jack promised him something, surreptitiously whispered in his ear while they were doing dishes, and he is not about to let Christmas end without collecting his gift.
He sighs contentedly as Jack slips into bed beside him and wiggles around a little so Jack can spoon him. Something inside of him settles as Jack slips an arm around his waist and pulls him close. This. This is what he missed all those nights he spent alone in beds that felt too big.
“I’m so proud of you,” Jack murmurs in Bitty’s ear as they both adjust a little more until they’re both comfortable. It doesn’t matter how many years have passed, they still fit together like two puzzle pieces.
“You don’t have to keep saying that,” Bitty says, but secretly he loves that Jack hasn’t stopped saying it all weekend.
“I am proud. Of everything you do. Nobody else had the best-selling holiday cookbook in your publisher’s history.”
“Be as it may, I will never do a holiday book again,” Bitty promises. “I think I’m all Christmassed out. If I never put peppermint in a recipe again, it’ll be too soon. And I feel like I missed out on too much here at home. ”
“Teething and stomach bugs?” Jack chuckles. “Yeah, it was a blast.”
“The magic of the season,” Bitty says. If there’s one thing this past month has taught him, it’s that most holiday magic is manufactured, willed into existence by exhausted adults just trying to recapture that feeling they remember from childhood. But there must be a little bit of the real thing left in this world because seeing Jack holding Clementine last night as he lit the first Hanukkah candle, the flickering flame casting a warm glow on their faces—Jack’s serious, Clem’s captivated—had felt like a small miracle. And again this morning, when Jack quietly got up with a fussy Oliver and took him out to the family room so Bitty and Clem could both get a little more sleep. Bitty had found them an hour later when he got up to start the cinnamon rolls, the room dark save for the colored lights illuminating the tree. Holding Ollie on one hip, Jack quietly pointed out the ornaments they’d hung together a few days prior. “That’s your daddy when he was a baby,” he whispered, pointing out a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament with one of Bitty’s baby pictures inside. “And this one is a little kitty that looks like Puck.” Ollie, wide-eyed, reached for the small ornament and Jack carefully removed it from the tree so he could hold it. Bitty hadn’t moved, hadn’t wanted to interrupt this second miracle in as many days.
“Today was pretty great, wasn’t it?” Jack asks, seeming to read Bitty’s thoughts as he so often does.
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget the looks on their faces when we gave them their baby dolls.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on your face when Clem threw the ornament your mom gave her at the cat.”
“What about the look on your face when your Dad cheered? Poor Puck. Her life is never going to be the same, is it?”
Jack presses his lips to the back of Bitty’s neck. “Mm. Are any of ours?”
“Those push cars your parents gave them sure kept them busy. Can’t believe how close they are to walking on their own. Though I'm pretty sure they didn't understand when you tried to make them race.”
“They’ll sleep well tonight, though.”
“And if they don’t, they have plenty of grandparents to get up with them in the morning,” Bitty says, yawning. “We can sleep in for once.”
Jack pulls Bitty closer and presses a kiss to the back of his neck. “Or... not sleep. Want to make Christmas last a little longer?”
For weeks, Bitty has wanted nothing more than for Christmas to be over. But now, with the memory of today’s events warming his heart and Jack warming him up everywhere else, well … maybe he doesn’t mind so much if Christmas lasts just a little longer.