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"OH FUCKING CHRIST IT HURTS!!" Tony screamed as another contraction ripped through him
"HOW THE FUCK DID MY MOTHER GET THROUGH THIS!!" Tony added screaming
Steve couldn't help but laugh
"DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT I'M IN PAIN!!"
"My fault!??" Steve said
"YES!! You and your big thick alpha cock that had to knock me up! That big thick juicy alpha cock! Big so big thick and juicy! Oh god Steve take me!!"
Tony tried to lift out of the bed to grab Steve and pull him into it but was pushed back by Pepper and Steve
"TONY!!" Pepper screamed
"What??"
"YOUR GIVING BIRTH!!"
"So??"
"YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WHILE GIVING BIRTH!!"
"I can do a lot of things while having sex!"
"BUT NOT WHILE GIVING BIRTH!!"
"Why??"
"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T!!"
"Fine!!"
Tony tell back into the mounds of pillows and started to pout when another contraction ripped through him
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!" Tony screamed
"PEPPER GET THE DOCTOR!!" Steve ordered
Pepper nodded her head and then ran out in the hall to find the doctor
"ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!"
Steve moved over to Tony and clutched his hand
"How do you feel baby??"
Tony turned his head and looked at Steve with a death glare
"I'M IN PAIN!!!!"
Steve shut his eyes and winced
"Right sorry!"
A minuet later Pepper reappeared the doctor trailing behind her
"Alright Mr. Stark how are you feeling??" He asked
"IM IN FUCKING PAIN!! I WANT HIM OUT OF ME!!!" Tony roared
"Alright let's see how dilated you are"
The doctor lifted up the blankets and the hospital gown and had Tony lift up his legs. Then once he was done he had Tony put his legs down and put the blanket and gown down and smiled
"WHAT!! TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IT IS!!"
The doctor winced slightly
"The good news is your at 9.8 centimeters!"
Steve and Pepper stare at the doctor and then each other and then the doctor again and then lastly at themselves"
"You mean the baby's coming now??" Steve asks looking like he was about to have a heart attack
"Yep!"
"COULSON!!!" Tony screamed
"Who's Coulson??" The doctor asked
"The omega midwife" Pepper says
"But you don't need a midwife!"
"Yeah I know but he's really just gonna hold Tony's hand and i'm gonna hold the other" Steve says
"Why can't she do it??"
"He asked we said yes"
"Ah!"
A few second later Coulson entered the room eating a snickers bar
"I'm here!" Coulson announces
"COULSON!! THROW THAT DAMN THING AWAY AND GET THE FUCK OVER HERE AND HELP ME FUCKING GIVE BIRTH!!"
"Right! Coming!"
Coulson throws away his snickers bar and rushes over to Tony
"FUCKING CHRIST IT HURTS!!!" Tony Screams "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Remind me why i'm doing this again??" Coulson asks
Pepper snickers
Steve and Tony glare at her
"Because you love us and your like the birth expert I mean you've done this three times" Steve says
Coulson smiles
"Yes I have! I have given birth three times! With help from Clint of course!"
"ALRIGHT!! ENOUGH REMEMBERING!! MORE HAND HOOOOLLLLDDDDIIINNG AAAAHHHHH!!!"
Phil and Steve each grab onto one of Tony's hands and Pepper stands back filming the whole thing
"WHY DOES IT HURT!!!"
"Because your giving birth!" Phil says
"YES! I KNOW THAT COULSON! BUT WHY DOES IT HURT!"
"Because the baby is pushing out of you Tony"
"WELL I ALSO PUSH SHITS OUT OF ME WHY DOESN'T THJAT HURT!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!"
"Because that's different Tony"
"WHATEVEEEEEERRRRR AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"
"Ok Mr. Stark the babies head is out" The doctor announces
"THANK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!"
"TONY JUST KEEP PUSHING!" Steve says
"Yes Mr. Stark"
Tony starts crying
"No! No! I Caaaaaaannn't!!"
"Tony please!" Pepper urges
"No! It huuurts!"
"Please Mr. Stark a few more pushes and the baby is here!" The doctor
"No! No! No! I can't!"
"Tony baby please! You said you wanted the baby out of you!" Steve says
"Stevie I can't it hurts to much! I WANT A C-SECTION!!"
"Mr. Stark it's to late!"
"PLEAAAASSSEEE!!"
"Tony honey just a few more pushes and our little boy will be here!"
"Stevie I can't! I can't!"
Steve lets go of Tony's hand and cups his face in his hands
"Honey we've been looking forward to this day since we found out! We've been looking forward to this day for nine months! In just a few seconds in just a few pushes we'll be holding our little boy in our arms"
Tony looks at Steve still crying
"Alright i'll push"
Steve and everyone else smile and some wipe tears from there eyes
"Alright"
Steve and Tony kiss and then Steve uncups Tony's face and goes back to holding his hand
Tony takes a deep breath and then starts to push again
One.... Two.... Three.... Four.... Five.... Six.... Seven.... Eight....
On the eight push Tony feel something push out of him and let out a loud scream then a deep silence falls over the room soon broken by the loud cries of a newborn baby. Soon Tony felt something be put into his arms he looked down and saw a blue bundle with a face and Started to cry
"Steve! Steve! Look! It's our son!" Tony said as he cried tears of joy
"Our son" Steve repeated as tears welled up in his eyes
"He's so beautiful Stevie!"
"Yes he is he, he looks just like his mother"
"Yes he does"
"What are we gonna name him??"
"Peter"
"Peter"
"Peter James Stark- Rogers"
"Peter James Stark-Rogers"
"Yep do you like the name??"
"I love it"
"And I love you Stevie"
"I love you to Tony"
Steve kisses Tony on the lips
And I love you to Peter"
Steve kisses Peter on the cheek
All the while Pepper and Coulson are watching in the corner sobbing at the sheer amount of happiness and joy
THE END
