Work Text:
Their reunion was… rocky, to say the least, yet neither of them has said a thing. It seems they’re back to their old ways -- little to no communication. It’s how he lost her the first time, and exactly how he will lose her again.
Or, not exactly like that. He knows what’s coming -- who’s coming -- and he knows what that means for both of them.
He doesn’t tell her. There’s no doubt she would end his life before he knows it -- after all, she’s always been one of the few individuals he’s encountered to be able to take him by surprise. He would have to stop her, and he can perfectly picture that painfully familiar look of betrayal in her eyes as his hand grasps her Godslayer. Regardless of her pain, Gamora would deem his death a worthy one for her beloved weapon.
That sinful knowledge grants him an almost perverse delight.
It’s quickly washed away by a flash in his peripheral vision. Gamora yields her sword skillfully, her movements are precise and calculated. Her fiery passion is misleading to some, but Adam knows that foolishness is what kills them before she can.
He’s as enthralled by her as he always is. He’s known killers -- knows her conflicting identification with the term -- but finds that term unable to do her justice.
As Gamora fights, it is closer to a dance with death. She moves with grace, as beautiful as she is deadly. Her swordsmanship comes as natural as breathing, and its elegancy seduces her targets into her vicious attacks. Back when Adam frequently fought alongside of her, her long locks used to wildly follow her movements. Now, her hair doesn't even reach her shoulders, yet it doesn't take away any of her flamboyance.
Something as minuscule as a haircut could never affect someone extraordinary like Gamora anyway. Still, he can't help but ponder over deeper meanings. Her new look, caused by her brave sacrifice for the Guardians, has awakened some strangely, nostalgic feelings inside of him. It's the same nostalgia he experienced before they left together. While she wasn't happy with her new look at first, Gamora wouldn't be Gamora if she would spend any time feeling sorry for herself. Her pride only fuels her confidence, and she wears it like a badge of honor.
And it is. She was the reason the Guardians were saved, no matter how much he originally didn't want to admit it. He was cruel to her then, but it was nothing more than a poor attempt to cover up a bleeding heart. If anything, this was her declaration of loyalty and commitment to the Guardians, and Adam knows, better than anyone, just what that means. He knows what it's like to be respected by Gamora, but also experienced her gentler side in terms of cherishing and care.
Part of him yearns for that side of her to belong to him again, though he knows his first mistake is wanting to own anything of Gamora. If Gamora respects you, it's her dedication she grants you. It's the way she would -- and did -- follow him through hell and beyond. Back then he had taken that for granted. He had betrayed her respect for him and lost those privileges. Yet there was more to them then, just like there is to her relation with the Guardians now.
There's trust, and that's something truly rare to be gifted by Gamora. Gamora's trust makes her loyalty look small. It provides not only the commitment from the deadliest woman in the galaxy, but also the loyalty from Gamora as just herself. Not only an ally in the battle against the Titan, but also a loved one who celebrated Yule by his side. Also in the way she didn't just fight by the Guardians' side, but sacrificed herself to save them.
Or in the way that she, nearly blindly, follows him into the Universal Church of Truth.
It truly does leave him feeling nostalgic. They've had countless quests like this; ones where he hides the truth and she pretends not to notice, only to still follow him. As much as he'd rather not admit, this future makes him anxious. He doesn't worry for her, knows that Gamora can survive this. This time, he doubts himself. He doubts the galaxy around him to execute this plan rightfully.
Still, he lets her follow him. He tells himself there's no stopping Gamora in whatever she desires, but deliberately neglects that he didn't even try. Her presence calms him, and despite the situation, he's still able to find the irony in that through the sound of her battle cries. She grounds him in a way only she can and right now he both loves and hates her for it.
It's in times like these Adam finds himself questioning his evil self's existence less. He's about to betray her again and knows this time there will be no redemption for him, nor for what is left of them together. One capable of such cruelty must be truly evil, and his future self is none other than the pure embodiment of that.
He briefly considers his selfish desires to either confess or perform a lame attempt at stealing more moments with her, but Adam has never been able to deny the greater purpose of the universe. Gamora knows this. She's lived these moments with him many times. He suspects that's why she hasn't asked him, or perhaps that unexplainable sense had given her a hunch of what's about to happen.
While he may deny himself this, Adam has never prided himself for being selfless or indulgent. So, he allows himself to fully take her in one last time. Even with nostalgia running through him currently, that doesn't prevent him from appreciating her new wardrobe. For a second his mind drifts back to her daily morning swims, some of which he delightfully accompanied her in. His eyes move over the splash of red in her costume, as well as her formerly yellow eye markings. The new, yet familiar, skulls attached to her outfit makes him smile and assures him once more that Gamora will be able to get through this.
She seems unnerved by his 'daydreaming' -- as she sassily calls it -- but Adam knows she will confront him before her Godslayer has even been extracted from her final victim. Gamora is by no means shy or subtle, nor would she ever choose to be blissfully unaware. She has faced past struggles, and will face future struggles, just as she does right now: brave and confident, with her Godslayer in one hand and the other one resting on her hip, along with a sly smirk on her face.
She's going to be okay. Adam has never been more sure of anything than Gamora's strength. For now, he allows that to guide him. His worries for this galaxy and his decision are irrelevant. It must be done, even if he dares to disagree. Even when he dares to argue the faults in this future.
He remains silent. He reminds himself to trust in the galaxy and put his feelings aside -- drifting away from Gamora to let his future guide him instead.
It is not the first time Adam questions the rightfulness of the universe. But now, as he watches her move through the masses in all her deadly beauty, he is confident the universe has never been as wrong as it is now, as he cannot fathom a universe in which he is worshipped rather than her.