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Being loved by him couldn’t silence the demons that come knocking in the dark of night in an empty bed. Ghouls seem to pale in comparison to the thoughts that snuck up on you at night. When sleep evaded your longing grasp and the only thing that eases any pain is the outreach of death that has always called from its cavities. It would be a lie to say this problem was new, but, Lucifer, was this a newfound fan to the flame you thought you had quelled with remedy and home. Tick, tick, tick, of the clock only served to remind you that time would continue to pass as you wallowed in your shed tears. The sliver of moonlight that shone through ill-closed curtains seemed to mock you in her luminescence. Contentment to misery was short lived when the door to the papal chambers opened. A dim light from the hall now washed over the room in a yellow light. If you hadn’t been faced away from the door you would have seen his tired face light up at the sight of your assumed sleeping form. Months had gone by without the other’s presence and to say each of you hadn’t missed one another would be a lie, but you couldn't bring yourself to face him. A soft sigh left his lips as the door had closed and the dim yellow light had been banished. The sound led your mind to wander. Had he come to loathe your presence? Object to the reality of your form taking up space in his bed? The boundless thoughts only begin to calm as his warmth now lay behind you, holding you close to him and burying his face in your soft hair. Maybe his love couldn’t silence the malice your mind could easily conjure, but that didn’t mean he didn’t try. Your tears began to flow again.
“I’m here, Cara.” He whispered. The few shed tears turned into a torrential downpour at his words. Despite his hold, the onslaught of thoughts continued in their spiteful fashion. How could you burden him like this? Leave him with the responsibility to care for you in a state like this? What did you do for him to deserve this devotion? The back and forth your mind summoned began to take its toll on you physically. You could be no more than a limp crying body in his arms and in turn, he would do everything in his power to try and soothe the ache. Every soft comforting touch against your skin. Every whispered word of his love and support. That he would spend his waking hours showing you how much he had come to adore and want you there with him even if the depths of your mind told you otherwise