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“Wow, Rapunzel! Were you named after a fairy tale?” Ishuca plopped the weathered volume on the floor as Rapunzel floated down next to him to peer at the crumbling pages.
“Ooh, where did you find this?” he asked, eyes lighting up in excitement.
“I found it while going through some of my grandmother’s old things.” Ishuca placed a finger to mark the spot in the book and flipped the cover closed. Embossed in peeling gold, cloth dirtied by decades of time, the anthology of fantastic tales emitted a large puff of dust across the floor of Rapunzel’s spotless room. Rapunzel took the book from Ishuca, replacing his finger with a pressed flower bookmark, and proceeded to examine it from all angles. He rubbed at some of the grime on the spine to no avail, and wiping his stained finger with a handkerchief, flipped the pages slowly to the makeshift bookmark, glancing at the other stories contained inside. Ishuca glanced up in anticipation. Rapunzel shot back an angelic smile.
“Why not let us read it so we might see what is contained therein?”
Both friends huddled in closer together and began to read.
Once upon a time, in a certain place, there lived a happy couple. The wife, who was with child, sat by the window, and gazed outside, day after day. There, outside, was the terrible witch’s garden.
“A witch?”
“Huh?” asked Ishuca at Rapunzel’s muttered confusion.
“Nothing,” he replied, eyebrows drawn together. “Let us continue.”
And the wife was dying to have the Rapunzel Lettuce from the garden. Please, dear. I want—
“Wait a minute,” blurted Ishuca. “Were you named after a lettuce from the fairy tale?”
“Of course I wasn’t,” Rapunzel smiled. He liked having Ishuca as a friend for moments like these. He was terribly funny when he was confused, and that made him that much cuter. What a ridiculous idea, being named after lettuce!
But what if…
No, he pushed that ridiculous thought from his mind. “Now I would like to see what happens next in the story.”
“Oh, yes! Of course!” Ishuca returned his focus to the book.
And so the husband again snuck into the garden, but this time, the witch caught him. The witch became furiously angry, and said to the terror stricken man, “If you give me your child when it is born, I will spare you.” And thus the child that was born was named “Rapunzel” and carried away by the witch.
“Ohhh,” said Ishuca, realization dawning. “So you were named after a child named after lettuce in the story.”
Rapunzel worried his bottom lip as his thoughts turned traitorous. “Hmmm… I don’t think so. Maybe the lettuce was named after the story.”
Ishuca looked clearly confused, paused a minute in thought, and said, “Like you were named after the story?”
“Perhaps.”
“But if the lettuce was named after the story, then why is it called Rapunzel Lettuce in the story if it came after?”
Rapunzel did not have an answer to that. Luckily, Ishuca’s eyes lit up in understanding a second later. “It must have been magic that messed up time! Like when I turned into a zombie, I stopped getting older. Maybe something like that happened with the lettuce.”
“Yes, maybe. Personally, I am more interested in the child named Rapunzel than the lettuce named Rapunzel.”
“Of course, since you were named after the child Rapunzel, and not the lettuce Rapunzel.”
“Well, it’s rather complicated… Let us see what the rest of the tale has in store.”
She locked Rapunzel up at the top of a tall tower deep in the forest. The witch used Rapunzel’s long braid to climb the tower. Without letting the child go outside or see anyone else, the witch thus raised Rapunzel, locked up in the tower. And time passed by. And well, well, how beautiful Rapunzel became…
“Wow!” exclaimed Ishuca. “Rapunzel is the perfect name for you since you are also very beautiful.”
Rapunzel blushed faintly at the praise.
“You as well are pleasing to the eye. I can see why Blood takes such an interest in you.”
“Oh, no, Blood only lets me stay because I told him he can use me how he likes.” Ishuca corrected.
Through the door was the unmistakable sound of Blood choking on the tea that Wild had poured for all four of them when Blood and Ishuca graced his doorstep. While Ishuca and Rapunzel had slipped into the latter's bedroom to examine the storybook, Wild and Blood stayed behind in the sitting room to discuss business.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Ishuca,” Rapunzel reprimanded over the still-audible sputtering from the other room. “You are also very beautiful, and were I not devoted to Wild as I am, I might have become similarly drawn to you as Blood is now, without the offer of your body.”
More sounds of snorted-up tea were heard as Ishuca blushed nearly as red as his hair.
“However, I consider myself content and lucky to have you as a dear friend,” finished Rapunzel as he reached out to grab his friend’s hands in his own. Ishuca looked dazed for a moment before clearing his throat and turning back to the book.
“Ah, yes! Where were we?”
The two friends read on over the course of the next hour, admiring the fading illuminations, detailed still despite their age. Ishuca would make a comment here and there; Rapunzel would steer the ensuing conversation back on track. Eventually, they reached the end of the story.
The prince rescued Rapunzel from the witch's tower. And the two lived together happily ever after.
Ishuca heaved a great sigh and stared vacantly in front of him, unseeing, for several moments.
"What a beautiful tale," he murmured at last. He turned his bespectacled gaze to the living Rapunzel who sat beside him. "But I still don't quite know why you were named after Rapunzel. Besides being beautiful and having long hair, you don't have much in common with the story."
Rapunzel sat up on his knees, staring determinedly ahead and coming to a decision.
“Actually, Ishuca," he said as he met his friend's gaze, "I have a confession to make to you.”
“Oh?”
Behind the door, a teacup shattered on the ground, but neither paid it any heed as Rapunzel said, “This story we just read is based on the story of my own life. The child named Rapunzel in this fairy tale was named after me, not the other way around.”
As Rapunzel began to explain to a confused Ishuca the true details of his life, they might have heard twin sighs of relief from the other room, but as Ishuca was engrossed in the tale that Rapunzel was concentrating on expertly weaving, they fell on deaf ears. Rapunzel told his story of how Wild abducted him, how Wild tested his parents and seen the selfishness in their hearts, how even so, he had given them opportunities to prove their love to Rapunzel, how despite these measures, Wild had raised and loved Rapunzel with more love than the boy’s own parents ever had, how Rapunzel had truly realized the depth of love that Wild had for him after Prince Claus had tried to save him from the tower…
And after he explained all the strange and unusual circumstances of his love for Wild, and Wild’s love for Rapunzel in return, Ishuca and Rapunzel returned back to the storybook and flipped back to the beginning of the tale, this time with a fresh set of eyes and understanding, Rapunzel pointing out to Ishuca all the times the written word deviated from the truth...
Long after the two friends had gone to sleep, embers of the sitting room fire considerably dimmed, Blood turned to Wild with a smirk.
“Now who was the one that insisted I was the shota-con?”
The next morning, after packing up, and after Ishuca and Rapunzel broke apart from their extended embrace and tearful farewell, Blood and Ishuca left their friends and continued on their adventure. As soon as the door had closed, Wild beckoned from his armchair.
"Come, Rapunzel, let me brush your beautiful hair."
Rapunzel obediently glided over and sat on the floor in front of Wild and melted under his touch as he began to brush. Suddenly, a thought he had managed to banish from his mind the previous night returned with full force, and he spun around to face him.
"What is it, my dear?" Wild asked, alarmed.
Rapunzel took a deep breath, eyes roaming over the room before meeting Wild's once again.
"Was I really named after lettuce?"