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*** Nick ***
A loud giggle made Nick look up from the pile of books he was marking. Evie was sat on the sofa, tablet far too close to her face, grinning at something Bandit — the best dad in the world apparently — was doing. Guilt twinged as he looked back at his work, sighing heavily.
Fridays were meant to be his and Evie’s ‘ Daddy/Daughter day ’, but Nick had so much work to do as it approached the end of term, and it was cold outside, rain falling so heavily that even being early afternoon he’d had to switch the sitting room lights on, so when he’d suggested Evie went on her tablet for a bit, she didn’t seem to mind. In fact she’d run to grab it so fast that she’d almost been a blur.
Nick looked between his daughter and the stack of books beside him, internally warring with himself.
Just ten more minutes… The more I get done today the less I’ll have to do over the weekend…
He smiled as she giggled again, and then pulled a workbook close, determined to get finished as quickly as possible.
Forty five minutes later, his phone rang from somewhere under his pile of papers pulling attention away from his marking. Nick flinched as he noted the time on the clock behind his daughter, who was still staring intently at her tablet screen. Groaning, he patted the mess of paper covering the small table until he found his phone. Nick’s stomach twisted with worry when he saw the name flashing on the screen.
“Im? Are you okay? Is everything okay?”
“Why, hello to you too Nicholas.” Nick could hear Imogen roll her eyes on the other end of the line, her voice sounding flat, so unlike her usual upbeat self.
Nick’s anxiety peaked. “Imogen, what’s wrong?”
“I’m fine, we’re fine… the baby is fine. Calm down.” Imogen sighed. Nick took a deep breath and tried to calm his painfully racing heart.
“Actually, that’s not… I mean I am fine, but whoever named it morning sickness has a lot to answer for.”
Nick grimaced. “Sorry,”
Imogen laughed softly, sounding tired. “S’fine. Listen, I know it’s our month to host, but do you think we could call a raincheck on tonight please? Sorry—”
“What? Yeah, no of course! Are you sure you’re—”
“Nick, I love you but if you dare ask if I’m okay one more time…” Nick heard her take a deep breath on the other end of the line. “Sorry. I’m just shattered. Oh, the sickness will end soon … yeah, apparently this baby didn’t get that memo. And my hips have really started to ache the last few days, I’m not sleeping well… It’s been a long week, the twins have both had a cold, I think I’m probably just coming down with that… Baby decided they didn’t agree with my lunch so that’s just come back up… and like I say, I’m just tired. I just… sorry—”
“You don’t need to apologise! Did you and Sam want to come here instead? In fact, I don’t know what we were thinking, we should move all Friday dinners to ours, at least until baby is here—”
“Thanks, I appreciate you offering,” Imogen cut him off, “but honestly I just want to go home, get Sam to order pizza, and then crawl into bed… or more likely curl up on the sofa in my PJs and watch The Polar Express, for the third time this week.” She laughed, and this time it sounded more genuine.
Nick’s shoulders loosened and he smiled into the phone. “Charlie tried to persuade Evie to watch Arthur Christmas with him the other day, but she wandered off. He was outraged!” He laughed, pleased to hear Imogen laughing back.
“Ah, the joys of parenting.”
“I am sorry you’re feeling so rough, Im,” Nick said quietly.
“I’d say it’s not your fault, but it sort of is, so…” she laughed again. “I’m joking, you know that. I’m honoured. Honoured… and achy, cranky, hormonal and very, very tired. Peeing ten times a night is no joke.”
Nick made a sympathetic face that Imogen couldn’t see, remembering the sleepless nights from when Evie had been tiny. “No, I can only imagine… enjoy the early night, and Polar Express! If you need anything over the weekend—”
“I’ll call. Thanks Nick. Evie there?”
Nick looked guiltily across to his daughter and sighed. “Yeah… watching her fiftieth episode of Bluey. Ugh I’ve been a sh— rubbish dad today.”
“Nah you haven’t, it’s impossible for you to be a shit dad. Give her a squish from me, and we’ll do something soon?”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
“Ugh, better go. Work are fab, but I disappeared half an hour ago to be sick and probably should be getting back.”
“Rest up—”
“Yes Nick!” Nick could hear her eye roll, she hated being fussed over.
“Bye Immy.”
Imogen said goodbye and hung up. Nick exhaled, guilt still doing funny things in his stomach. He rubbed the back of his neck and stared for a few moments, unseeing, at his pile of unmarked books. Decision made, he quickly stacked them up and pushed them to the corner of the table.
“Eve?” he called with a wide smile, now that he had a plan.
Evie’s attention didn’t waver from her tablet.
“Evie?” he sing-songed, louder this time.
Evie grinned and giggled at something happening on her screen.
“Evelyn!”
Evie looked up, her bright blue eyes innocent and wide.
“Auntie Immy isn’t feeling very well, should we make her biscuits to cheer her up?”
“Cookies!” Evie practically threw her tablet to the other end of the sofa as she clambered up, jumping up and down in excitement.
Nick laughed, also standing up. “I thought we could make some Christmas gingerbr—”
“Smartie cookies!” Evie ran out of their small sitting room towards the kitchen.
“Oh…” Nick pursed his lips as he followed his daughter, mentally doing a stock take of their kitchen cupboards.
By the time he joined the three year old (‘ I’m nearly four!’ ), she was already pulling the old wooden step stool that had once belonged to Nick’s grandma across the kitchen, the sound of heavy wood on tiles causing Nick to wince.
“I’m not sure we have any Smarties to make smartie cookies, poppet,” Nick started to say, reaching down to help her carry the stool to the worktop.
“I can do it!” She turned her back, protecting the stool with a scowl before carrying on dragging it with a grunt.
Nick sighed, but he didn’t even attempt to fight the smile that spread across his face. Evie definitely took after Charlie when it came to being fiercely independent, and stubborn. But she also took after him when it came to being extremely caring and giving the best hugs.
“OK, you do that and I’ll check the cupboard, but I really don’t think we can make smartie cookies today. But what about some gingerbread men? They’re Christmassy!” He tried to be enthusiastic, knowing full well there would be no Smarties in the cupboard. Mainly because he would never be able to resist them long if they had been in the house.
“I want to make cookies!”
Nick started pulling flour and sugar from the cupboard. “How about biscuits that we can ice? We have snowflake cutters. And sprinkles!”
“Aunt Immy likes smartie cookies.”
Nick could hear the pout on his daughter’s face without turning to look at her. He’d moved to the fridge in search of butter, frowning as he pushed various jars aside, not spotting the unsalted butter he usually kept on the top shelf for impromptu baking.
“She does, but we don’t have any Smarties, and we can’t make smartie cookies without Smarties, can we?” Nick chuckled, still looking for the butter.
“We can go to the shops!”
Nick ducked to check the very bottom shelf, usually reserved for leftovers and wilting lettuce. “It’s raining…” he said, before sighing and standing back up. “But we don’t have any butter either…” He shut the fridge door and turned to look at Evie. She was stood on the stool, bouncing up and down on her toes, looking at Nick expectantly. Some of her dark hair, thick and wavy like Charlie’s, had already escaped the two pigtails Nick had put it in earlier, and as she wiped her hand across her snotty nose, several strands stuck to the snot trail she had left on her cheek. Nick grimaced.
“Smartie cookies!” Evie repeated, wiping her hand on her top.
“I suppose Imogen does like chocolate…”
Evie nodded. “And she needs lots of chocolate, because of the baby in her belly.”
Nick laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “Did she tell you that?”
The little girl nodded very seriously. “She needed lots of chocolate when I was in her tummy too. And I’m a girl. So the baby must be a girl too!” She beamed at him, going from serious to excited in a blink of an eye.
Nick crossed the kitchen to squat down next to her. “Well, we don’t know that, baby might be a boy—”
“I want a sister.” Evie spoke matter of factly.
Nick chuckled softly. “Oh, I think we all know that,” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “But remember what Daddy and Papi said? We can’t—”
“I want a sister like Bluey and Bingo. She can share my room!”
“Darling.” Nick took a deep breath; this had been a regular conversation recently. Evie was adamant that her sibling would be a girl, and — displaying her stubbornness — refused to even consider that she might be having a brother. “If baby is a boy—”
“We can call her Coco! Like in Bluey. Coco is pretty .”
Nick shook his head with a laugh, deciding that he was losing a battle that didn’t need to be fought today. “Right!” He clapped his hands on his thighs as he stood back up, ignoring the way his knees protested. “Well you can tell Papi that. Shall we go to the shops?”
“For Smarties?!” She jumped down from the stool and ran towards the front door.
He laughed again at her enthusiasm. “For Smarties,” he agreed.
///
Face washed, nose blown, and after only a small argument over which shoes were appropriate to wear out in the rain (Evie won, and was currently wearing bright purple crocs with butterflies on them) Nick strapped his beaming daughter into her car seat and pulled off the drive.
It was a Friday in early December, and the roads and shops were already busy with shoppers. Having no desire to get stuck in traffic near the town centre, Nick headed towards the small retail park in the opposite direction. It only housed an Aldi, B&M and Pets at Home, so while it was busy it was nothing compared to the main retail parks and he found a parking space easily.
“Come on then, madam.” Nick opened the door and held his arms out. Evie unstrapped herself and wrapped her little hands around his neck. Crocs, with sparkly tights, were not ideal footwear when it was raining, but Evie had pointed out that he could just carry her to the shop, and then there wouldn’t be any puddles inside, so it would be fine.
He couldn’t argue with her logic, and although Charlie would probably have accused him of being a softie, he secretly found himself aching at how independent and grown up she was sometimes, so if he had an excuse to carry her occasionally, her little arms wrapped tightly around him, he would take it.
“Can we buy sweeties? Pleeeease?” Evie asked as Nick ducked his head and walked quickly towards the shop, attempting to keep them both as dry as possible.
Before he had a chance to reply she let out a loud squeal. “Christmas treeeeeees! Daddy! Daddy look! I want a Christmas tree! Like last year! With a star on top!”
Nick was impressed with her memory. He was a little less impressed by her excited shouts right in his ear, and the way she bounced up and down in his arms, making him struggle to keep hold of the little girl… who perhaps was getting just a little too big to be carried now.
He shifted Evie in his arms and sped towards Aldi, throwing a brief sideways glance at the selection of netted trees outside B&M that had caught his daughter’s eye. “We’ll buy a Christmas tree with Papi.”
Evie twisted and squirmed, trying to escape her father’s arms. “Today?!”
The doors to Aldi opened in front of him, and Nick breathed a sigh that he’d made it out of the rain without dropping Evie. He quickly placed her on the floor, and then had to lurch forward to grasp hold of her little hand as she tried to run back out of the automatic doors.
“Come on, monkey. We need to get the ingredients to make Auntie Immy her cookies, don’t we? Can you remember—”
“And then we get a tree!”
“Uh…”
“A big one!”
Despite her words, she was still gently pulling on their joint hands, trying to go back the way they’d just come.
“We will get a Christmas tree, really soon. But Papi will want to help us pick one out, sweetie.”
“ Whhhhhy ?!” Evie pouted as Nick picked up a shopping basket and started leading her into the shop. “No! I want to pull the basket!”
Nick shook his head at the sudden change of conversation, but he smiled as he placed the small basket back and lifted out a larger pull along one. He placed it next to Evie, pulled out the handle and let his daughter march down the first aisle, basket trailing behind her, grateful that the topic of the Christmas tree seemed to have been dropped so easily.
“Right,” Nick pulled out his phone to check the list he’d made before leaving the house. “I want to get some more appl—”
“I put the star on top!”
“The…” Nick took a second to follow Evie’s words. “Oh, yes you—”
“Can we buy a star too?!”
“We already have a star, we have a box full of decorations in the loft. Lots of special decorations that Daddy and Papi have—”
“And some lights!”
“Yes, we have lights—”
“The tree at school has lots of lights!”
The preschool that Evie attended three days a week had put their tree up the week before. Jane had collected Evie from school that day, and she’d grumbled about Christmas decorations in November to Nick almost as soon as he’d walked through the front door.
“Yes, it’s a very pretty tree,” Nick agreed.
“Can my tree be big? Please ?” Evie begged.
Nick laughed. “I don’t think our sitting room is big enough for a tree quite as big as that!”
“Why?” Evie pouted. “I do it!” she then protested, grabbing the pack of apples that Nick had been about to place in the basket.
“Care—” Nick sighed as his daughter dropped the apples straight into the basket from waist height — “...fully.”
“And then Santa will come!”
“Father Christmas comes on Christmas Eve. Did you know that you were born on Christmas Eve Eve, and that’s why—”
“With reindeers! I want a big Christmas tree!”
The rest of their short shopping trip went much the same way, Evie talking almost non stop and jumping between topics at lightning speed, but always coming back to a big Christmas tree within a minute. By the time they headed for the checkout, Nick’s head had started to hurt from the mental whiplash of trying to keep up with Evie’s train of thought.
“Uncle Michael likes toast!”
Nick looked at his daughter out of the corner of his eye, frowning in confusion as he nodded slowly at her. “Uh, yeah—”
“I do it!” Evie grabbed the loaf of bread from the top basket and started waving it in front of the self service till.
“OK,” he smiled, before groaning to himself, realising that they’d left all their reusable bags in the car, again , and that he would need to buy yet another to add to their already impressive stash.
“I gonna tell Papi I chooosened the tree!” Evie babbled away as she squished the loaf of bread under a jar of nutella that Nick had somehow been talked into buying, knowing full well that Charlie wouldn’t approve.
“Why don’t we tell Papi we’ve seen some Christmas trees, and we can come back here tomorrow with him? Then you can choose one.”
“We can just buy it now,” Evie said, extremely matter of factly, and with far too much authority for a not-quite-four-year-old.
Nick sighed. “ Evelyn… ” He tried to put on his best ‘teacher voice’ as he stared down at her, eyebrows raised.
“Please?!” She looked back at him with pleading eyes.
Nick’s stern gaze softened, he couldn't help it when she looked at him like that.
“Please Daddy. I want a tree!”
He groaned and looked up at the overly bright lights above him.
“ Please ?”
He sighed again, dropping his gaze to find bright blue eyes still looking up at him.
“Fine,” he relented.
“Yay—”
“We can go look at the trees! Just to see—”
“ Christmas tree oh Christmas tree… duh duh… Christmas treeeeeeeee… I sunged that at school!”
Nick laughed and ruffled her already messy hair. “Come on you little terror, let’s go look at the trees.”
“A big one!”
“We’ll look at a normal sized one!” He chuckled, finishing up their purchases and tapping his card against the card machine.
“Big! With lots of lights, and a star, and bau-bau… lights!” Evie jumped up and down, before twirling round, her pigtails bouncing as she span.
///
“Please , Daddy?”
Nick rubbed the back of his neck and deliberately looked away from the eyes that were so much like Charlie’s. “Eve… I think Papi would want—”
“I tell Papi we got it… so Papi don’t need to!”
While he didn’t think he should be listening to the logic of a three year old, Nick couldn’t deny that Charlie did hate crowds. They could just buy the tree now, to save them having to brave the Christmas madness tomorrow. They could still wait for Charlie before they put it up… leave it in the garden until they were ready for it.
In fact, didn’t trees need to stand in a bucket of water for a while before being decorated anyway?
He turned back towards Evie, who was standing in front of the biggest, saddest looking tree that B&M had to offer, dancing from foot to foot.
He bit his bottom lip.
“Pretty please?”
Nick imagined telling Charlie that they didn’t need to leave the house all weekend if they didn’t want to. Sometimes his husband appreciated a weekend where he didn’t have to ‘people’ at all.
“Please, please, please!”
But they’d also chosen their tree together every year since the year they’d gotten married, going the first Saturday of December to pick one and then spending the afternoon decorating it whilst listening to cheesy Christmas songs and reminiscing about all their favourite Christmas memories together.
“I want this one!”
“Evie!” Nick admonished her tone.
“Please?” she asked quietly, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.
He deflated. Those eyes… Charlie's eyes. “Ugh, fine!”
“Yay!”
Charlie did always moan about the cold, and he hated the rain — which was forecast to continue all weekend. It was the decorating that Charlie enjoyed.
“But we’re not getting one from here. We’ll go to that Christmas tree place, like last year. And we can’t put it up until Papi is home. Tomorrow!”
“Christmas treeeeee, oh Christmas treeeeeeee… da da da Christmas treeeee!” Evie danced around the trees, ignoring Nick.
“And we’re telling Papi you made me,” Nick mumbled under his breath as he lifted the little girl back into his arms so he could carry her through the car park that was a maze of puddles and potholes.
“Christmas tree oh Christmas tree… Christmas tree …” Evie sang the whole way across town, through the chaos of cars spilling out of the big retail parks, as Nick drove them to the Christmas Tree Farm.
///
“This one!”
Nick looked down at his daughter’s once purple crocs and wondered how he’d ended up in a muddy field filled with trees, when they’d only headed out for butter and Smarties.
“No, this one!”
Nick laughed, “I think that one might be a little too big!”
The lady stood near the little wooden hut at the edge of the field chuckled before heading towards them.
“That’s our special tree, see how it’s still in the ground? It’s the first tree my Grandad planted.” The lady smiled down at Evie.
Evie stopped her excited dance and shuffled close to Nick’s leg, watching the newcomer with suspicion.
“What size tree are you looking for?” The lady turned her smiling eyes towards Nick.
“Um… normal size?” Nick rubbed the back of his neck, trying to remember what size they’d bought last year. They’d always had a small tree before having Evie, but the first year tree shopping as a family of three Nick had insisted they get the biggest tree possible. For Evie. Who hadn't even been one, and probably didn't care what size tree they had. Not that Nick would admit to that.
Charlie had reined him in a little, and although Nick had stropped all the way home, once they’d got the tree inside he’d had to admit that Charlie had probably been right.
“The 5ft trees have a blue band around the base, the 6ft trees have yellow, and the 7ft ones have a red band. Those are the three most popular sizes.”
“Okay, thank you.” Nick thanked her, before leading Evie towards the trees that all had red bands around them. 7ft sounded about right.
Five minutes later, Nick was wet, Evie was muddy and shivering, and he was wishing he had waited for Charlie after all. He had no trouble keeping thirty children under control at work, but apparently he vastly underestimated his daughter’s willpower, and his own ability to say no.
“I… wanna… wanna… b-big… tree… daddy!”
The tree Evie was pointing at had a green band around the base, and it didn’t look that much bigger than the one with the red band next to it.
It was a pretty tree as well; full, plump and a rich dark green colour. It was the tree of Christmas fantasies.
Nick looked between the 7ft and the 8ft tree in front of him, and then down at his daughter, whose dark hair was plastered to her forehead as the rain continued to drizzle on them.
She was still bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, even as her teeth chattered against the cold. “Pl-please?”
Nick laughed, almost hysterically. It was too wet and cold to argue over a measly 1ft difference.
Shaking his head at how little restraint it had when it came to pleading blue eyes, he lifted Evie up — covering his trousers in muddy footprints as a result — and attempted to tuck her under his coat.
“Come on Evie-Moo, let’s go ask that nice lady to help us get the big tree in the car.”
“Yay!”
///
Nick supposed that the first clue should have been the struggle he and Emily, the lady from the Christmas Tree Farm, had fitting the tree into the boot of the car. Charlie had taken the old red car to work, leaving Nick with the newer estate car that they had purchased within a month of Evie’s birth — quickly realising how much boot space a pushchair took up.
Even with the seats down, and Evie’s car seat moved to the front (with only a little muttered swearing from Nick), the boot had only just closed with the tree loaded.
And the top half of the tree had maybe slightly obstructed the gear stick, making Evie’s day as she proceeded to pat the thing like it was a cuddly dog, whilst serenading it with yet another round of ‘ Oh Christmas Tree’ all the way home.
The second clue that maybe he’d underestimated the size of an 8ft Christmas tree should have been how difficult it had been to carry the thing into the house when they’d finally made it back home. It hadn’t seemed that heavy when he’d been loading it in the car…
But it wasn’t until Nick had wrestled the thing into the stand, which he’d spent half an hour searching for whilst Evie danced around the house singing songs from her Christmas concert, that he truly realised his mistake. Because the stand added an extra few centimetres to the already gigantic tree… that was the reason it didn’t fit in their sitting room. The stand, with its extra inch or two of height, was the reason that the top of the Christmas tree folded in half, so a foot… or maybe a little more, brushed along the ceiling.
As Nick stood back from wrestling the monstrosity upright, Evie jumped up and down beside him, clapping and laughing. Daisy, sensing Evie’s joy, bounded back and forth across their tiny sitting room, nearly knocking Nick over as she darted around her humans, letting out boofs of excitement as she went.
“Christmas Tree!” Evie squealed.
Nick smiled at her excitement for a moment, before dragging his eyes back to the tree.
It looked… fine.
Just fine.
As long as you didn’t look at the top of it. Or acknowledge that its wide branches took up far too much of the room.
The really rather small room.
“Fu-dge,” Nick muttered under his breath as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Charlie was going to kill him.
///
*** Charlie ***
Charlie loved his job, but come Friday he was always more than ready for five o’clock to roll around.
Clocking out of the office until Tuesday, he checked his phone as he headed to the old red banger that Nick still refused to get rid of — ( “But she still runs! And she’s cheap… and I have lots of good memories in this car. I took you on our first date in her. We can’t just get rid of her!” ).
Seeing a message from Nick that Sam and Imogen had cancelled their monthly Friday night dinner, he felt a mix of disappointment and relief.
As much as he enjoyed their dinners with the other family, and as much as he loved seeing Immy and their growing bump, he couldn’t deny that a small part of him was glad of the opportunity to get home, steal one of Nick’s hoodies, and curl up on the sofa with him and Evie for a much needed lazy Friday evening. This time of year, with the cold days and limited hours of sunlight, always left him feeling a little more tired, and a little more in need of family hugs.
Twenty minutes later he parked the little red car alongside their much newer and more practical estate car, and headed inside their small terrace, relaxing and letting his body sag as he removed his uncomfortable work shoes.
Home, wonderful, glorious home.
“Nick? Eve—”
Charlie was cut off as a whirlwind of golden fur and dark, messy hair appeared in the hall and started barreling towards him.
“Papi! Christmas tree!”
Evie launched herself forward, and Charlie barely had time to kneel down and catch her before small arms were thrown around him.
“Christmas tree?” He laughed, standing back up with her still in his arms. She was getting too big to be carried around now — and he regularly told Nick off for doing so, worried that babying her too much would make the transition into big sister that much harder when the time came — but he secretly loved how cuddly she was, just like her daddy.
Evie bounced up and down, nearly catapulting herself towards the floor. Charlie quickly squatted back down to place her safely on the ground.
Maybe that was why he didn’t attempt to carry her around much these days.
“Yes! Look! Come on …”
Feeling only a little dazed, Charlie allowed his daughter to pull him towards the sitting room door. Only to be blocked from entering by his husband.
His husband who looked like he’d just come in from rugby practice, including a large patch of mud on one of his thighs. His blonde hair was sticking up at all angles and a light sheen of sweat glistened in the dull lighting of their hallway. He was only wearing a t-shirt, despite their house not exactly being warm, and the clothes he did have on were ruffled.
The look on Nick’s face alone would have caused him to stop in his tracks, even if he hadn’t been blocking the door. He was rubbing the back of his neck, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth even as he attempted — and failed — to smile at Charlie. The combined effect made him look guilty.
“Nick…” Charlie started to say, as Evie continued to try and push her way past her dad.
“Da-ddy!” the little girl groaned.
“Hey, Char.” Nick leant forward and pecked Charlie’s frowning lips. He smelt… Charlie chased the kiss as his brain tried to figure out the scent of his husband. He smelled like him, only more, like after a rare run or when he managed to join friends for a friendly rugby game, but it was mixed with something almost floral? Woodsy…
Instead of kissing Nick as the other man clearly expected, Charlie changed direction at the last moment, rising up on tiptoes to try and peer over his shoulder.
“Um… tea?” Nick gently pushed him backwards into the hall.
“What’s going on? Evie said something about a Christmas tree?” Charlie stood his ground, refusing to budge.
Nick peered down at the little girl who was still trying to push past his wide frame. “Evie! I said we’d wait to tell—”
Evie laughed and finally managed to duck between his legs. “Christmas tree! See Papi! Christmas tree!”
Charlie raised his eyebrows, a small smile on his lips, as he looked at Nick, who was back to rubbing his neck. “I thought we were getting one this weekend? Together ?”
“Uh…”
Charlie shook his head affectionately, before going back up on tiptoes. This time he did kiss Nick; a soft, lingering kiss. He smiled against his husband’s lips. “I’m not cross. Let me guess, Evie wanted one, and you couldn’t say no?” He chuckled.
To Charlie’s surprise, Nick didn’t seem to relax with his reassurance.
“Yeah, um… something like that. Listen—”
“Papi! Come on !
Charlie rolled his eyes at his daughter’s bossiness. “Come on, I’ve been summoned.”
Nick didn’t move.
Frowning, Charlie took a step back to look at his husband properly. “Nick, what’s going on? Honestly, it’s fine. Yes, it’s nice to go and choose a tree together. But you know it’s never as idyllic as we imagine, honestly I’m slightly relieved I don’t need to leave the house tomorrow now to traipse through a muddy field, full of families all pretending this the most magic experience , whilst bickering over which tree to pick.” He laughed.
Nick inhaled deeply. “Okay, remember that when… well… look… they all look so small when you’re outside, you know? I couldn’t remember what size we usually buy… and Evie really wanted a big tree… and… well….”
Nick trailed off. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped aside.
Charlie eyed Nick warily, before finally pushing past him into their small sitting room.
He only took one step before he faltered.
“What the… Nick! What the… why ?! Is… is that a saw ?! Have you been…” Charlie span back around with wide eyes. Nick hadn’t moved, and he visibly cringed as Charlie stared at him.
“I… uh… so, it was a little big—”
“A little?! Nick! There’s… oh my god you sawed the top of a Christmas tree… in our sitting room?!”
Nick cleared his throat and his hand went up to rub the back of his neck again. He sighed, and then his large body seemed to shrink before Charlie’s eyes.
“Sorry…” He mumbled, sounding defeated. “It really didn’t look that big at the farm. And once the netting was off… Well it's bloody—blinking hard to get a tree through a door!”
Daddy says I can put the star on top!” Evie appeared next to Charlie, grabbing his hand and starting to pull him back out of the sitting room. “Where is the dec-norations Papi? Daddy can’t find them.”
Charlie was still reeling from the sight in front of him; their sitting room was covered in carpet of green pine needles, a saw was laying across their sofa, and beside the largest Christmas tree he had ever seen inside a house , was another much smaller tree. Or what Charlie had briefly mistaken for a second tree, before realising that it was actually the top of the tree currently taking up half their sitting room.
“Nick…” Charlie didn’t know what else to say, as he gently tugged Evie’s hand, stopping her trying to drag him out of the room. He broke eye contact with his very sheepish looking husband. “Evie, Eve, sweetheart… just… why don’t we… I…”
“Do you love it Papi?!” Evie beamed up at him. “I choosened it!”
Charlie took a deep breath, plastered a large smile to his face and nodded. “It’s… wow. Yeah…”
Evie giggled and jumped up and down. “Dec-norations!” She attempted to pull Charlie out of the room again.
“Eve, can you go look in your bedroom for… why don’t you…” Charlie took another deep breath, not really knowing what he was suggesting, but knowing he needed to talk to Nick without little ears around. “Do you want to go on your tablet?” he finally settled on asking.
“Yes!” Evie let go of Charlie and ran to the sofa. Where she threw herself down next to the saw, which bounced from the impact, landing precariously close to the little girl.
“Evie!” Nick lurched forward, grabbing hold of the saw before Evie could kick her socked feet into its sharp teeth.
Charlie crossed his arms and glared at Nick who turned back to face him, a pained look on his face.
Charlie didn’t say anything, just continued to stare.
“I thought it was safer than leaving it on the floor…” Nick met his eyes for a second, before dropping his gaze to the ground and taking a shaky breath.
“I get that… what I don’t get is why you sawed a tree in half in our sitting room !”
“Okay, I didn’t saw it in half … I just… took a little off the top?”
“Nick!” Charlie stared back at his husband incredulously for a second, and then he closed his eyes and tipped his head towards the ceiling. “Right, tea.”
“Tea?!” Nick asked, clearly confused.
“Nick, our sitting room is swamped by a massive fuc-fudging tree , I blood—blinking well need a cup of tea before I deal with… this .”
“Sorry.”
Nick sounded so defeated that Charlie found his annoyance deflating. He sighed. “You’re a giant softie, you know that, don’t you?”
Nick didn’t look at him as he nodded, turning instead to look at their daughter who was already laughing at whatever episode of Bluey she had managed to pull up on her tablet. “It really did look smaller when we were at the farm.”
Charlie snorted. “You think?” He stepped forward, linking his fingers through Nick’s and leading him out into the kitchen.
///
“Are you mad?”
They were sat at the dining table, side by side, cups of tea in front of them.
Charlie turned to look at Nick, who was staring intently at his mug. “That you got a Christmas tree without me? No. That you bought one so big that we’d need to buy a mansion to accommodate it?” Charlie let the words hang in the air for a moment, before he finally gave into the need to laugh that he’d been fighting for the last few minutes.
“No,” he shook his head, still chuckling.
Yes, he hadn’t been thrilled as he stared at the pine needles covering their carpet, but as he stood making tea — while Nick put the saw back in a safe place — he had found himself unable to fight the grin that had taken over his face.
Nick’s eyes snapped up to his. “You’re not?!”
Charlie laughed again, this time slightly hysterically. Now the dam had burst, he seemed unable to control himself.
“Oh my god, Nick… how did you even…” He collapsed sideways into his husband, swiping at the tears rolling down his cheeks as he rested his head on Nick’s shoulder. “ How did you… get it in… the car?!” he gasped out in between the fit of giggles he was trying to control.
“Um… well the lady helped me lift it?” Nick sounded hesitant as he wrapped an arm around his back. “And uh… Evie had to go in the front. Obviously.”
Charlie snorted, imagining their car filled with Christmas tree. “Uh huh… obviously.”
“And… I don’t know. Where’s there’s a will there’s a way?” Nick sounded sheepish.
Charlie swiped his eyes and nestled into Nick’s side, enjoying the way he still fitted there perfectly. “And that wasn’t a hint that maybe… if it didn’t fit in the car—”
“Well it did fit! It just… required a little… persuasion.”
Charlie burst out laughing again.
“Hey!” Nick finally sounded amused, and a moment later he started laughing too.
“Ugh!” Nick moaned as their laughter started to die down. “What the hell was I thinking?!”
“That you’re wrapped round the finger of a three year old!?” Charlie snorted.
“You try saying no to Evie when she’s looking all excited and… she really wanted a big tree, Char!”
“And now she’s got two trees!”
“Fuck off.”
“Language Nicholas,” Charlie admonished without any conviction, as he sat back up and lifted his tea to his lips. “So… we’re decorating the tree tonight then?”
Nick sighed heavily as he too took a sip of piping hot tea. “Apparently.”
“But first, we need to remove a sea of needles from the carpet…”
“And sawdust… and the top of the tree.”
“Bloody good thing I love you.”
“Love you too,” Nick wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close enough to drop a kiss on the side of his head. “Thank you for not killing me.”
Charlie laughed again. “Well we’ve still got to decorate the bloody thing, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
///
A mostly empty pizza box sat open on the sofa, with Daisy pretending that she wasn’t eyeing it up, and there were discarded pieces of tinsel littered around the room, but otherwise they’d done a pretty good job of tidying up after Nick’s adventure with a saw.
“Now I do the star? Evie asked. She’d been asking for the best part of two hours, but as Nick crawled out from under the tree having just switched the lights on, Charlie finally nodded.
“Now you can put the star on the tree, yes,” he agreed.
“Yay!” Evie ran the two steps towards the box that held their Christmas decorations; it was a much bigger box than they’d had their first Christmas living together. Their collection of baubles had grown rather a lot, with Nick still gifting Charlie a new one every year. Now though the box was also filled with pine cones covered in glitter, snowmen made out of empty toilet roll tubes, and a bizarre decoration that involved dry pasta stuck on colourful paper. Their tree was a mismatch of designs and colours, and Charlie wouldn’t have it any other way. (Even if he did have to tweak the placement of things a little when neither Nick or Evie were looking.)
“I’m still impressed she remembers that from last year,” Nick whispered, wrapping his arm around Charlie as Evie lifted up the star. “Thank fu-fudge it’s finally done. I’m exhausted.”
Charlie leaned into Nick. “Well… I might have shown her a picture of last year’s tree the other day? And I might have mentioned her getting to put the star on top.”
Nick groaned and rubbed a hand over his neatly trimmed beard. “So what I’m hearing here, is that actually this is all your fault.”
“Absolutely not. I showed her a picture of a nice, perfectly normal size, Christmas tree. You were the one who took her out and bought her an 8ft tree. 8ft Nick!”
“Okay, okay… let’s… I’ll lift you up sweetie!” Nick let go of Charlie's waist to join Evie in front of the tree.
Charlie laughed at Nick’s sudden eagerness, but the laughter soon turned into a soft smile as he watched his husband lift their daughter all the way to the ceiling, her squeals and giggles filling the room as, instead of holding her still, he zoomed her round like an airplane. For a few seconds anyway, before he then groaned and dramatically dropped her to the ground, arms still tight around her, complaining that she’d got to stop growing.
His heart felt full to bursting, and when he allowed himself to think about next year, imagining another little one in the sitting room, watching or maybe even trying to help decorate the tree… a slightly smaller tree.
One where they actually had a top to place the star on, rather than a roughly sawn mess of branches.
///
Charlie groaned as he collapsed down on to the sofa. It was past Evie’s bedtime and he ached more than he cared to admit, but it was a Friday, and he had to agree that the warm twinkling lights of the tree, gently illuminating the room, felt sort of magical, even if the branches brushed up against the sofa. And the TV. And Nick's little marking table.
Nick joined him a few minutes later, a large glass of red wine in each hand. “Evie’s just choosing in a book. I know it’s late, but I said we could read it down here, in front of the tree.”
Charlie gratefully took the glass. “Softie,” He accused, his tone affectionate.
Nick smiled warmly as he sat down next to Charlie, dropping a quick kiss to his lips before sinking back into the cushions with a long moan.
“Ergh… when did we get so old?”
Charlie sipped his wine. “Around the same we started being picky about the wine we drink?”
Nick visibly shuddered. “I’m sorry, but the cheaper stuff just… it lacks body. Flavour. It tastes like piss water.”
Charlie snorted. “God you’re old.”
“Hey,” Nick elbowed him. “I thought we were old.”
“No, just you.”
Nick playfully glared at him, but before he could retort, Evie came bounding into the room carrying a pile of books that looked far too big for such a small child.
“Just one, Eve… it’s already late.” Charlie hurried to tell her, knowing that if left to Nick he would end up reading all of them, silly voices and all, and that if that happened there was a very real chance Charlie would be asleep before the three-almost-four year old.
“Yes. And we need to make cookies!” Evie didn’t look up as she dropped the books on the footstool and then wriggled her way in between her dads.
“Cookies?” Charlie looked at Nick in confusion.
His husband groaned. “Uh… we’ll have to make them tomorrow now, mon chou.”
Even in side profile, Charlie could see the look Evie was giving her daddy, and he was glad it was aimed at Nick and not him. It was impressive the strength of emotion a small child’s stare could convey.
“You said we making cookies today! Auntie Immy needs cookies! You said!”
Nick rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Charlie with pleading eyes. Charlie raised his eyebrows, silently telling his husband not to look at him, he hadn’t promised Evie she could make cookies.
“Well, yes… but then we got the tree, and—”
“We buyed the Smarties!”
“Yes, and—”
“We have to make cookies!”
Charlie could see Nick considering actually making cookies now , and he quickly intervened.
“Daddy and Papi are too old to be making cookies now.”
“Yes, Papi is very old.” Nick muttered.
Charlie glared at him.
“And you need lots of sleep,” he looked at Evie , “so you can grow big and tall. Then next year, maybe you won’t need Daddy to lift you up to put the star on the tree!”
Evie considered this for a minute. And then she nodded. “Yes. I will be big then. And my baby sister will be a baby. And I pick her up to put the star on!”
Nick and Charlie exchanged another look.
“Or brother…” Nick gently reminded her.
Evie shook her head as she reached forward to pick up a book. “No. Next Christmas I have a sister.”
“Eve,” Charlie tried to reason. “Remember, we don’t know, and we can’t choose, and we’ll love Baby—”
“I made a wish.” Evie said matter of factly as she thrust a book into Nick’s lap.
“A wish?” Charlie asked.
Evie nodded. “Miss Rich-nund-son said. Wish on a star. So I did.” She pointed to the top of their tree where their star had been tied on with tinsel. “There. A Christmas star.”
Her little face was so certain, and Charlie didn’t have the heart to argue with her. So, eyes locked with his husband’s, he nodded. “Well, if you wished upon a star…”
END