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Hinata Shouyou is completely and utterly head over heels in love with Tanaka Ryuunosuke. It’s wrong, immoral, disgusting even. Shameful. Tanaka isn’t his to love. Tanaka is meant for someone else. Hinata isn’t meant for anyone.
It’s said that those born prematurely are born without the name of their destined soulmate somewhere on their body. They say those without a soulmate cannot love or be loved, in the romantic sense.
Hinata doesn’t have a name anywhere.
Before he met Tanaka, he’d almost given up hope for any kind of future. After he fell for him, he completely gave up hope. What kind of life would he have pining over someone else’s soulmate? What kind of person would that make him?
No one needs to know he’s taken to writing the characters of Tanaka’s name on the inside of his thigh. It feels right there. No one can see it.
It’s almost too much during practices and games. His senpai cheers him on and keeps him going. If his gaze lingers too long on Tanaka’s shirtless form, he refuses to admit it. All too often, Hinata finds himself searching for the name that is surely imprinted somewhere on the older boy. The characters don’t appear to be anywhere on his upper half.
Not that Hinata is looking.
He gets his chance the weekend the team goes to a hot spring. He doesn’t admit to himself that his obsession with finding the name is getting out of hand. Some people keep theirs hidden for privacy and Hinata needs to accept that. One day, Tanaka will announce he’s found the person of his dreams and Hinata will be alone. That’s how it’s meant to be.
“Senpai, have you found your soulmate yet?”
However, Hinata isn’t the type to just let life go by without a fight. He might have a chance of at least a little happiness, until the other finds his destined partner. Tanaka might -
“Yeah.”
His head jerks up from its previous position of staring at the water. Their eyes meet and Tanaka is wearing an expression Hinata’s never seen on the older boy. He would almost venture to say it’s lovestruck, but it’s gone before he can decide. The small smile in its place suggests a secret Hinata isn’t supposed to know. The pain in Hinata’s chest blooms. Of course. He should’ve known better than to hope.
“He doesn’t know yet though,” Tanaka says. “I don’t know when he’ll realize.”
“I’m sorry.” Hinata doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for, but it seems right.
He feels guilty and it pisses him off.
“Don’t worry about it.” Tanaka is still smiling and it feels uncomfortable for Hinata now, like he shouldn’t be seeing this private smile for someone else.
Someone who isn’t him.
Hinata lifts himself out of the water, slipping the towel in front of him.
“Wait!”
He stops and glances back. “What?”
“Have you found yours?”
Hinata stares at the ground, the wall, the door, anywhere but his naked senpai. He could lie…
“I don’t have one.”
Tanaka laughs. Hinata’s chest hurts.
“You’ve never found it? No one’s told you where it is?”
Hinata’s eyes are watery - the steam, he tells himself. Tanaka is joking. There’s no way he has one.
“Senpai, stop. Don’t joke about this. I know nothing is there.”
Tanaka pulls himself from the water - does that boy have any shame? - and moves toward the younger.
“What’s this cute little phrase here then?”
Hinata freezes. There’s no way. He’s checked everyday of his life. There’s nothing there.
“Do you know any other Tanaka Ryuunosukes?”
“Liar.”
“It’s rude to call your senpai a liar, Shouyou.”
“Prove it.”
There’s absolutely no way. All this time, he’s wished the boy walking away from him could be his and now -
No, he’s not getting his hopes up.
Tanaka comes back with his phone.
“You’re not taking a picture of my butt.”
Hinata may be in love with this boy, but he’s still modest.
“I’ll delete it right after you see it. It’s not even your ass, it’s on your back.”
Despite Hinata’s attempts to cover himself, Tanaka manages to snap the picture. He doesn’t want to see it. There’s a chance Tanaka could be playing a trick and he’d laugh and Hinata would be heartbroken.
“Do you want to see mine first?”
Hinata shakes his head. Not yet. He needs to see his own before his heart explodes.
When he takes Tanaka’s phone, he doesn’t see it at first. But it’s there. It’s faint and is nearly the same tone as his skin. But there’s no doubt that Tanaka Ryuunosuke is written along the very bottom of his spine.
No wonder he couldn’t find it.
He laughs. All this time, he could’ve been with this boy beside him. He laughs because this is ridiculous. Nearly 16 years of believing he couldn’t love anyone, all because his beloved’s name was too light to see and too discreet to find.
He laughs because he’s in love with Tanaka Ryuunosuke. His soulmate.
“Where’s yours?”
The other boy blushes. It’s adorable. After a short struggle, including the covering of genitals and a lot more blushing, he shows the writing.
There, on the inside of his thigh and in the exact same place the younger boy used to write Tanaka’s name, the scribble on his skin reads Hinata Shouyou.