I

Captain Janeway held her breath as she ordered Kim to lock onto the single life sign in Val Jean ’s cockpit. It was such a delicate maneuver; he needed to wait for Captain Chakotay to pilot the ship through the Kazon’s defenses, but also beam him out before the Val Jean impacted the enemy ship. Her nails gripped hard to the arm rests of her chair. 

Wait… wait…

“Now!” she told Kim and her heart leapt as the Maquis raider exploded into the Kazon ship.

“Got him, Captain!”

She relaxed back in her chair. Consumed by a wave of relief stronger than she'd anticipated.

In some ways it would have been easier not to deal with having another captain aboard. 

But she recalled his unwavering defense of her decision, his willingness to set aside their differences, and his help investigating the Array. Throughout, he had relieved her of some of the burden of their unprecedented, terrifying circumstances, to say nothing for the 40 Maquis he’d somehow convinced not to try taking control of the Bridge.

Tuvok swiftly destroyed the Array and she sat mutely, staring at the debris, their only way home, until the chime from the lift startled her out of her melancholy.

The lift opened and she turned as Chakotay walked in, his face paled to gray and eyes wide from shock. His hair and clothes were visibly singed from his near explosion. 

He clapped Ensign Kim on the shoulder as he passed him. “Good timing,” he rasped.

“It was the captain, Captain - er. Sir. Um. She timed the beam out.”

Chakotay’s eyes found their way over to her. “I can see why they sent you to catch me,” he said as he braced himself on the railing.

She could see his hands and knees shaking and without a further thought, gestured to the empty first officer's chair on her left. “Get Captain Chakotay some water” she told the yeoman.

As he sank with a gasp into the offered seat she reached out and laid a comforting hand on his forearm. “I never abandon a member of my crew.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Your crew, is it?”

“My ship.”

He laughed, suddenly, loudly; it brought a bright smile to life on his face. “Well played,” he said as the yeoman returned with a drink. “Thank you for catching me.”

She was not sure if it were simply having someone beside her in the first officer's chair  or some unique quality he alone possessed. But for the first time since waking up stranded here, she felt the tight grip of loneliness that had been knotted inside her loosen. Perhaps she’d ask if he wanted to keep that chair in a more formal capacity. “I’ll catch you any time.”

II

Chakotay watched the odious Mrs. Templeton bustle to and fro within the mansion that sat far off on the grounds. The first time he’d encountered the hologram she’d greeted him as a welcome noble guest and then immediately chastised Kathryn for cavorting with a bachelor and besmirching her good name. 

He relaxed back against the willow tree, enjoying the gentle breeze and the smell of the wildflowers. It was a fine holodeck program: a good mystery if one took up the main storyline, plenty of side adventures in the programming, and extremely realistic grounds, with a long twisted garden maze, open stable, apple orchard and even a temperate swim hole. Truly a relaxing place to while away a free afternoon. If only Kathryn could escape the nagging housekeeper intent on pushing the mystery storyline upon all who entered. 

He knew of course why she didn't just delete the housekeeper. It was clear as soon as he’d realized Mark Johnson was the programmer, and the one originally intended to be the lordly guest of this manor. 

The clouds overhead parted and the sun beamed down on him through the shifting tresses of the willow. He sighed and settled in on the picnic blanket, reaching for one of the sandwiches and the book he’d brought to enjoy. It was the first time off he and Kathryn had gotten in days. He couldn't exactly begrudge her taking a little time to herself if some other part of the program had distracted her.

He was midway through the second chapter when he heard a whinny carry over the hill. When he looked up, a rider was cantering down the slopping grass, her skirt billowing as she leaned over the horse’s saddle. 

She raced a full circle around him and he laughed as he ducked out from under the willow. “I didn't know you rode.”

“I don't really, but it was the fastest way to escape Mrs. Templeton,” she stroked the mane of the horse as it wickered its big nose at Chakotay.

“Surprised to see you choose a side-saddle. You didn't have another option?”

“Oh I have plenty of options, the program isn't prejudice, save for Mrs. Templeton towards the governess, and then only as it pertains to the mystery. You see” 

A smirk spread on his face as she described some of the programming.

 It was sometime through her rambling that she finally noticed.“What?” she demanded.

“So you chose the side-saddle because you like it then?”

She turned a delightful beet red. “I, well I don't get to wear dresses very often,” she squirmed in the saddle. “Its easier to ride this way.” 

His grin only widened. “Well don't stop on my account,” he said, taking in the tight gathering of lace and satin at her waist. “You look lovely.” And he tipped his hat in a most exaggerated fashion. “My Lady.”

She burst into such laughter at his behavior that the horse began to prance nervously, nearly bucking her. “Oh my goodness, no. Captain. Or Kathryn. Please.” She stroked the horse’s mane and beamed out at the wide blue sky and rolling green fields. “I might like to do another lap. Care to join?”

He shook his head. “After that last away mission I think I’ll keep my feet on the metaphorical ground, thanks.”

“Fair enough. I won't be long.” And she urged the horse onwards, into a trot and then a cantor. At first he thought to resume reading. But he couldn't help being distracted, watching her hold her arms up and feel the wind as the horse ran faster around the field. lapping the house once.

Then twice.

By the third lap, when he saw her hunched over the saddle, gripping tight to the mane, he realized something wasn't right. “Chakotay to Engineering. Can I get a diagnostic of the holodeck?”

“Sir we were just about to warn you. The last system update has caused many of the programs and safeties to malfunction.”

He swore as he saw Kathryn and the horse bolt past a fourth time. “Computer reset program,”

The surroundings glitched but nothing changed.

“Can you shut it down from the outside?” he demanded

“Working on it, Sir. But it will take time to do.”

Kathryn didn't have time. He ran out into the path the horse had trod in the grass, planting his feet as the rampant beast galloped over the hilltop. He could see Kathryn on its back, unable to do more than cling tight.

He took his book and did the only thing he could think of. He chucked it at the horse.

The horse panicked. It dug its hooves into the ground and ducked to avoid the book. Kathryn screamed as she was thrown out of the saddle, careening towards him.

He caught her with a grunt, stumbling and falling back. Both of them rolled to the bottom of the hill away from the wild horse. Finally stopping when the grass evened out, Kathryn on top of Chakotay's chest. 

He gasped, hand still holding her head and her waist. “You… okay”

At that moment the holodeck shut down. They lay on the hard plain deck, he in an ancient English gentleman’s dark blue coat and vest, and she in windswept layers of lace, green satin and petticoats.

Kathryn braced her hands on his chest, her hair now tumbling out of its bun in bedraggled windswept locks. Before his better judgement caught up with him, he had already reaching out to tuck the longest strand out of the way. It felt silk soft between his fingers. 

“I take it back,” she croaked. “The ground sounds wonderful.” and she smiled down at him. “Thank you for the catch.”

He gulped. His hand ran up and down the length of her waist for no good reason other than that she seems to have no objection. “Just repaying the favor.”

III

Chakotay stared over at her. His eyes had been open for hours, long adjusted to the darkness, and fixated the whole time on her chest, each steady rise and fall a needed reassurance.

He couldn't sleep. 

He could still feel the moment her pulse had slipped away from his searching fingers, that her chest had stilled and her eyes rolled back. That lifesigns had vanished from the tricorder.

His arms still felt the echoes of each push against her sternum as he’d fought to keep her heart beating and his chest still burned from breathing for her. The sound of her ribs cracking echoed in his ears in the lonely darkness.

Her chest rose and fell gently. Her figure was relaxed across from him, curled around the medical blanket. The doctor had wanted to keep them both overnight for observation. In a testament to just how shaken she was, the captain had not put up a word of protest. 

Suddenly he heard her heart rate pick up. Her breathing became erratic. He was off the biobed in an instant, hovering over her. Her eyes raced back and forth beneath her eyelids.

“Doc?” he called. But the doctor didn't appear. He looked at her readings again. No warnings were flashing. But still…

Just to be sure, he took her hand, fingers seeking her pulse.

She shot upright, her hand closed over his in a vice as she pressed the other to her chest. gasping. “Oh god!”

“Kathryn,” he murmured. and as she looked at him with wide, panicked eyes he recognized his error with relief. it had not been the alien trying to take her again.

Just…

“Just a dream,” he assured her as he drew her close. “It’s over.”

She relaxed against him. Her head leaned exhausted into the crook of his neck and shoulder. He held her up. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

IV

Their captors’ first mistake had been thinking such a small humanoid would be easy to detain.

Their second one had been housing Chakotay and her apart. 

He was just relieved it had taken her longer than expected to break out of her cell. It had given him the time he needed to reach through the bars for the security panel, hacking it with his smuggled tricorder and overloading the security grid.

She had arrived just ahead of the responding guards, wearing weapons from two felled enemies strapped to her waist. A bloody key card was clutched in her fist.

“Run,” she told him as she got his cell door open. She tossed him one of the weapons as they bolted for the doors. 

The L class planet this alien prison was housed on was covered pole to pole in volcanic mountain ranges and unstable ice sheets, The ice disrupted often by quakes, hot geysers and lava flows. The prison was set in one of the mountains, the thick rock preventing transport. A daunting system of dark tunnels was their only escape route.

“This way,” he directed, trying to read the tricorder to find the fastest way out. She kept pace with him despite his urging for her to run ahead. His ankle had twisted upon capture and as they ran the pain became worse, his limp more pronounced. When he stumbled the first time, she fully stopped, stripping off her shirt to tie around his ankle.

“Kathryn,” he grimaced. “Just go.”

“I'm sorry to tell you this, Commander but you don't give the orders around here,” she snapped as she finished wrapping his ankle. “I'm not leaving you behind.”

“I’m slowing you down,” he insisted.

“We still have a better chance working together,” she said as she helped him to stand. “Come on.”

They made their way to the exit, the light from the sun blinding against the ice and snow. Out in the open it would only be a matter of time before Voyager's scans found them. 

He was looking at the tricorder, searching for a good place to lie low, so he missed the black ice that had frozen in a transparent sheen across the entrance of the tunnel.

He slipped. And slid. The tricorder flew out of his hand careening off the mountain ledge and he flew over right after it.

Then he heard a grunt and a pop. His body suddenly swung back towards the mountain. He shouted as his feet skidded against the rocks and his left arm strained from the effort of bearing his weight. It was then that he registered the sharp sting of nails digging into his wrist.

He looked up. Kathryn was laying with her head and shoulders over the ledge, one arm braced on the rock, the other with a death grip on his wrist. Her shoulder was slumped oddly and in a daze he realized holding onto him must have dislocated it.

His feet slipped against the slick, icy rock and above him Kathryn screamed. Her nails dug in deeper. He saw her other hand struggling to keep her stable.

A chilly calm settled over him. “Kathryn,” he whispered. “It's not your fault. It's okay. You need to let me go.”

She only growled in response.

He saw her slip a hair further over the edge. “I’m too heavy, '' he told her. “I’ll pull you over if you don't let go.”

Her lips moved, but no sound came out. She pushed hard against the rock ledge and her eyes looked down at him. By some ungodly strength she kept her grip on the ledge and him. 

“There’s…” she mouthed. “A foothold…your left.”

He gulped and lifted his foot. His toe rested on the barely there hold.

But it wasn't going to be enough. He grimaced as he heard her panting. “Kathryn, it's okay. I can't make it.”

“I’m not.. letting go” she hissed. “Your foot…” 

He gulped and rassessed. His toes were dug firmly into the tiny hold and the top of the ledge was just a fingertips length away. If he could just…

“Alright…” he said. “I’m going to try to push up on three. if I slip… Don't try to catch me. It's no use.” She nodded once and he took a breath. “One… two… three.”

He pushed up and her other hand darted in, grasping onto his jacket. as the foothold gave way under his boot she heaved with all her weight until his palm found the top of the ledge. Hand firmly planted, he pushed up, legs scrambling against the slippery cliff, until he was falling onto solid ground. 

He landed on top of her and she groaned. “Ow…”

“Damnit Kathryn,” he cursed. “You could have gone over.”

“I’d rather me than you,” she rasped and gasped as sitting up brought the full strain she'd just put on her body into focus. 

“I told you!”

“Chakotay…” she rasped. and she clutched him as he helped her sit upright. She laid her forehead on his. “Always… going to catch you.”

V

It was late, or early when she finally arrived. He wasn’t sure of the exact time. The computer had not worked since the latest attack.

She sank onto the couch beside him, and cast his confiscated rank bar onto the coffee table.

Along with her four pips…

He stared over at her silent, hunched figure, until she finally spoke. “If you hadn't been there…”

He interrupted her harrowing thought. “I was. That's what matters.”

She fell against him and he caught her and held on as her head settled wearily against his shoulder.

The Fall

Neither could say exactly what happened. Perhaps it was owed to seven years skating on pristine, smooth holographic ice, rather than over the dips and grooves of a naturally frozen surface. Perhaps it was his distraction, watching her hair - long again now - flowing in the breeze, bright and vivacious against the frozen whites and grays of the flooded old Bloomington quarry. Perhaps it was her own error, too busy describing the misadventures here in her youth that she glided just a bit too close. Regardless of who caused it, they were suddenly pitching towards the ground, skates tangled together. He landed on top of her, catching himself on his arms and finding them then bracketing her smaller frame, so close he was almost touching the fly away strands of her hair.

Her eyes locked on his and he noted how her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes darkened as she laid her hands over his chest. 

And while he should have gotten up then, he did not. While she should have urged him to get off of her, she pulled him closer instead. Their shared breath lingered between them. The clouds of frozen vapor caressing their faces with each breath…

Finally, she spoke. “What are we doing?”

He licked his lip and saw her attention stray to watch before she locked her eyes on him again. What were they doing? Maybe… “I think,” he said. “We’re doing something we've wanted to do for a long time.” 

For a split second he worried he’d read her feelings wrong, and worried, she’d object as his nose brushed hers and he moved in to press their lips together. But all he heard was a quiet moan. Then he felt her fingers tugging on his jacket, urging him to keep going. 

And after all these years, finally kissing her did not feel like a great monumental shift, but only like the quiet settling of the last piece into a puzzle. They relaxed into each other as quiet snowflakes gathered on their coats and on their lashes. And despite the cold, warmth blossomed in their chests and lingered, the cold of the ice and the winter wind was then so far away. It felt as if they'd  fallen together into a pocket universe, just the two of them, and all that existed there was the clouded breath between them and the thousands of things they meant to say to each other - once dreams, now possibilities - reflected in the others' twinkling eyes.

They drew back together to savor the others' lips again. Falling together, leaping, into a future they’d for many years hoped to reach.