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“Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Troll the ancient Yule-tide carol
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,” the carolers sang at the top of their cheerful lungs.
The brisk winter air caressed their cheeks, leaving a little tingly feeling of static against their skin. This was the last house of the night, and each caroler was looking forward to returning to head caroler Mary’s home for some hot cocoa, Christmas cookies, and a Christmas feast. But what they did not realize was that this was not an ordinary house at the end of Cemetery Lane. This was the Addams estate, and the owners would not be asking for an encore.
“Don’t you just love carolers, Gomez?” Morticia asked.
Gomez pulled her closer. “Of course, darling,” he said. Gomez and Morticia stood on the roof of their home with the rest of their family and Xavier. It was the best seat in the house to watch the carolers sing. “Lurch, why don’t you give our guests their gift?”
Lurch groaned and tipped the boiling cauldron of wassail over the side of the house. Hot wassail splashed over the carolers who let out a loud shriek of surprise in perfect harmony. The carolers ran off towards the front gate like a couple of chickens with their heads cut off. The gate opened by itself and slammed shut with an ear-piercing clang as the last caroler scampered past.
Pugsley and Fester clapped and cheered while Gomez and Morticia got lost in each other.
“One question,” Xavier asked Wednesday. “Why wassail?”
Wednesday helped herself up from where she had been sitting with her legs dangling off the side of their four-story mansion and dusted the dirt off her dress. “It’s tradition to give carolers a hot cup of wassail. How you deliver it is up to you,” she said.
“Ahh, got it.”
This was one of the many things about the Addamses that Xavier learned in the short time he had been staying with them. His father was busy overseas putting on a last-minute Christmas show, so it was a no brainer for Xavier to spend the holiday with his girlfriend’s family.
The way Wednesday and Xavier came together was simple: three months after returning to Nevermore after the Crackstone fiasco, Wednesday and Xavier formed a friendship that worked for them. He helped her catch her stalker and opened his shed to her for her investigation and sometimes as a quiet place to write while Enid and Ajax utilized her room. One day, a vampire girl approached their table at lunch asking Xavier if he would go with her to the Dark Prom. Wednesday, who was sitting right next to Xavier, burst into a jealous rage. She boldly announced that Xavier would not be going to the Dark Prom with anyone but her and if anyone had a problem with it, including Xavier, they could talk to her guillotine. The vampire girl was too stunned to respond. Standing frozen in fear, Yoko had to pick her up and carry her away from the table. Meanwhile, Xavier stared at Wednesday like a lovestruck puppy and mouthed the word finally. Realizing what she had done, Wednesday slumped down into her seat and kept her head bent over her food for the remainder of the meal. A tinge of pink colored the tips of her ears and the fullness of her cheeks. The color stayed there until the end of the day when Xavier caught up to her and dragged her to his shed. There, they discussed her very loud and very public declaration, and it was there that Wednesday begrudgingly admitted her feelings for him. After an hour of talking, it was decided that they would not be going to the Dark Prom, but they would enter into an exclusive relationship. Wednesday left her mark on him, literally, by carving her initials into the fleshy part of his arm. Xavier left his mark in a more practical way by buying her a necklace with his initials. She never took it off.
At first, Wednesday didn’t want to tell her parents about the relationship. She knew they would react embarrassingly, and she would rather keep it to herself. But Thing had loose lips. As predicted, her parents were over the moon with excitement. She had to threaten them with nightshade poisoning to keep them from driving to Nevermore and embarrassing her further.
Now it was Christmas, their first Christmas together. It had only been two days, but Xavier was ready to count this as the best Christmas ever. After his mother passed away and his father threw himself into his work, Xavier hadn’t had many good Christmases. They were always spent alone in his art studio with the occasional check-up from his father’s assistant. This year was the first time he felt like he had a family.
Xavier followed Wednesday down the long winding staircase to the first floor of the house. They stood in the main foyer waiting for the rest of her family to join them in the living room.
“You’re handling my family’s eccentricities better than I thought you would,” she said.
He shrugged. “They’re not as weird as you made them out to be,” he said. “I still think you’re the weirdest.”
“You haven’t spent enough time with Fester.”
“Hey.” He tilted her chin to look up at him. “I like weird.” His head started to rotate downward to kiss her. They hadn’t had many opportunities to be alone. An Addams was always nearby, and the house had eyes. He was dying for a moment to be alone with her, and now that he finally had it…
Wednesday closed her eyes and lifted herself onto her tip toes. Their lips were inches away from touching when Morticia’s voice broke them apart.
“Oh, look Gomez,” she said. “Our darlings are under the mistletoe!”
Xavier pulled away and looked up. There it was. The mistletoe hung from a hook on the ceiling above them. Oddly enough, that was the weirdest thing he’d seen in the house so far.
“You can sure tell it’s Christmas Eve!” Fester said from the stairs. “Everybody is getting kiss happy!”
“Mother, Father,” Wednesday said angrily. “Shouldn’t the family be getting ready for the rest of the night’s festivities in the drawing room?”
“Oh yes, dear. Come, Gomez. Let’s leave the children alone,” Morticia said, sashaying away in a whirlwind of black fabric.
Wednesday waited until her family had vacated the room before quickly standing back on her tip toes and placing a chaste kiss on Xavier’s lips. “Come on,” she said, grabbing his hand. “We wouldn’t want them to think we’re having sex. They might try to give us pointers.”
Xavier’s face turned fifty shades of red.
When they arrived at the drawing room, they took their seats with the rest of the family around the fireplace. “Remember when you still believed in Santa Claus, Wednesday?” Morticia asked. “You and Pugsley used to love stoking the fire for Santa’s arrival.”
Xavier snickered and Wednesday smacked him. “I never believed in Santa Claus,” Wednesday said. “I only humored Pugsley. He was just a child.”
“Au contraire,” Morticia said.
But before she could finish her sentence, Gomez threw his cigar over his shoulder and grabbed his wife. “Tish! That’s French!” he cried. He took her arm and kissed up the length of it up to her shoulder.
“Darling, not in front of our guest.” Morticia smiled at Xavier. She had promised Wednesday her and Gomez would tone down their obscene passion for one another while Xavier stayed with them.
Gomez reluctantly pulled away and sat back in his seat. Thing handed him another cigar. “Thank you, Thing.”
“Can I go first?” Pugsley asked.
Xavier gave Wednesday a questioning look.
“Every year on Christmas Eve, the family gathers around and tells ghost stories,” she explained. “Whoever tells the scariest story wins Grand-Uncle Grizzly’s head.”
“Oh, like a bust?”
“No.”
Xavier nodded. He was still trying to wrap his head around all the impossible weirdness of the Addamses.
“Perhaps we should let our guest go first,” Morticia suggested.
“Oh.” Xavier looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “No thank you. Let Pugsley go first. I’ll need more time to think of something.”
“I’m sure your tortured artist’s mind can think of something twisted,” Fester said and gave him a playful wink.
Xavier listened closely to Pugsley’s story of two little children burning a witch at the stake and eating her flesh. Then he listened to Fester tell his story about a psychiatric hospital that didn’t offer lobotomies and electroshock therapy, only apple juice and grippy socks. As each Addams member told their story, Xavier began to recognize a theme. Each of their stories were only scary to them. Anyone else would think electroshock therapy and lobotomies were the true terror, but not an Addams. They were the opposite of what was considered normal. And that gave Xavier an idea.
“Xavier, it’s your turn,” Wednesday said. She softened her glare and gave him an encouraging look. She would never say it, but he knew she was proud of him for sticking around and putting up with her family. She was the most logical one in her family so she knew her family’s weirdness was a lot to handle for an average person with an average imagination. But Xavier was ready to prove to her that he wasn’t an average person with an average imagination. He could play right along with them.
“Okay, so there was a teenage boy named John Tucker. He was the coolest guy in school, and every girl wanted him,” he said. His eyes swept around the room. Already he had the entire family clutching their pearls. He went on. “Well one day, three girls found out that John was secretly dating all three of them behind their backs so they decided to involve a fourth girl who had no interest in John so they could get their revenge.”
As his story of teenage angst and petty drama continued, he took note of the reactions of everyone in the room. Gomez and Morticia clung on to each other for comfort, Thing retreated to his box, and Lurch cowered behind a significantly shorter and deader houseplant. Pugsley and Fester watched Xavier with their mouths hanging and their eyes bulging with fright. Wednesday sat still next to Xavier taking shallow breaths. He could see her chest rising and falling heavily like she had just come back from running a marathon. He took this as a good sign.
“In the end, the girls didn’t get the guy, but they did learn the importance of honesty. John Tucker went on to tell the truth to all the girls he was dating, and the girls entered into a lifelong sisterhood,” Xavier said. “The end.”
The room was silent for a long moment. No one made a move to speak. It was so quiet a falling pin would have sounded like an atomic bomb going off.
“Bravo!” Gomez yelled. He stood up from his seat, clapping loudly with his cigar clenched tightly between his teeth. Pugsley and Fester joined him.
“That was terrifying!” Morticia said.
Lurch groaned as he came out from behind the houseplant. A morose smile spread across his face.
Thing gave his approval in a series of snaps.
Xavier looked towards Wednesday for her approval. She continued to stare off into space. He noticed a small shiver run down her spine.
“Lurch, would you please go fetch Grand-Uncle Grizzly’s head,” Morticia said. “Xavier is this year’s storytelling winner!”
Gomez, Pugsley, and Fester took turns shaking Xavier’s hand. By the time they were done, Xavier’s hand felt like it had been caught in a bear trap. If there was one thing he’d have to learn, it was how to give and take a proper Addams handshake.
“Thank you,” he said, taking Grand-Uncle Grizzly’s head from Lurch. Grand-Uncle Grizzly’s head was perfectly preserved after death. It was so well preserved, Xavier almost thought it was still alive. “I’ll put this in my art shed next to the rest of my macabre pieces.”
Morticia smiled warmly. “Be sure to bring it with you next Christmas,” she said.
Xavier blushed. He hoped there would be a next Christmas for him and Wednesday. They agreed the only way out of the relationship was through death, so as long as he didn’t give her a reason to kill him, he would have a lifetime of more Addams Family Christmases.
“Well now, it’s getting late,” Gomez said. He checked his expensive wristwatch. It was almost three in the morning. “We should head off to bed and get some shut eye so we’ll be well rested for tomorrow’s games.”
“Goodnight darlings,” Morticia said. She went around the room and gave everyone a kiss on the cheek except for Wednesday. For Wednesday, she gave her two air kisses on either side of her face. “Rest in peace.”
“Lurch,” Pugsley said. “Do you mind checking under my bed for John Tucker and those high school girls?”
Lurch groaned and followed Pugsley up the stairs. Fester carried Thing to his room. They were also concerned about Xavier’s story coming to life to teach them about sisterhood and how to kiss boys.
“So,” Xavier said when he and Wednesday were alone again. “How did I do?”
Wednesday turned stiffly in her seat. “You did well,” she said. “Pugsley hasn’t asked Lurch to check under his bed since Mother first told him the story Hansel and Gretel when he was four. Your story…it was…disturbing.”
He smiled. “Wow. That’s a real compliment. Thank you. Shall we?” He gestured towards the stairs.
They traveled to Wednesday’s third floor bedroom. Xavier was staying in the guest room across the hall. “Well, goodnight,” he said. He gave her a quick peck on the lips and turned to go into his own room.
“Wait.” Her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. “Would you mind staying in my room tonight?”
He gave her a strange look. “Why? I thought you didn’t want to share your personal space?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away quickly. “Yes but…your story…” Her voice tapered off.
A grin spread across Xavier’s face.
“Just get in here,” she said harshly. She threw open the door and stormed inside. She reached into her dresser drawers and pulled out a change of clothes before stomping into her ensuite bathroom to change.
Xavier tried to stifle his laughter as he waltzed into the room. He kicked off his shoes and took off his belt, wondering how he’d be comfortable sleeping in jeans. He decided he’d be comfortable sleeping with Wednesday no matter what he was wearing. He waited for her to come out of the bathroom before sliding into bed next to her. He laid on his back keeping his hands to himself, waiting for her to order him around.
Surprisingly, she rolled on to her side with her back facing him. “Put your arm around me,” she demanded.
Again, it was difficult to keep his laughter to himself, but somehow he managed. He did as he was told and was even more surprised when she scooted closer and melted into his touch. “So Wednesday Addams is a cuddler,” he said, unable to resist teasing her.
Her voice cut through the darkness like the blade of her favorite dagger. “If you value your life, you will remain silent and go to sleep,” she said.
He could hide his laughter anymore. He let out one small chuckle and held her tighter. “I love you,” he said and kissed the top of her head.
A little noise came from Wednesday that sounded like she was purring. "I love you too," she said in a quiet, almost inaudible voice. "Now go to sleep."