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My eyes shot up. Time for my next assignment. But as I lean forward and reach to my left, there's nothing to grab on to. I keep searching with my hand and shortly glance over. Did I forget to put it there? It's not there like it is usually. Nothing is there. My gear that's always put there the day before is missing. After a few moments reality start to sink in that those times are gone. I find myself standing up, perched up against the wall like I did in the resting pods up until a few years ago. No armour to put on, the plasma rifle is gone and the sleeping bay is replaced with a modest living room. I don't even need to look at the time, it's 5 AM, the time I was scheduled to wake up for the past 9 years in service. Last day was nearly three years ago now. I keep waking up like this every so often still, an imprinted behaviour put in place since I was first deemed fit for service to the Elders. My body still haven't adjusted, much like some of my own kin I have heard. Funny how it all went down. One day you're out patrolling for suspicious behaviour and assisting citizens. And now? It's just a memory of a by-gone era. Better times if you ask me. There was stability, peace, order. It's been replaced by uncertainty these days. Many areas out in the world is rife with scavanging, skirmishes, raiders and roving bands of mercenaries looking for a quick way to survive and earn their living to the misery of others. This city wasn't hit hard during the Liberation, or even at all. It's still in good shape all things considered. Aside from a few buildings erected afterwards most of the area was as it always were, undisturbed, save for a few security checkpoints and scanners. Most citizens here were reasonably quick to adapt to the new regime. To ADVENT. I spent most of my time here patrolling and guarding infrastructure that was left intact but repurposed for better needs. I put on a sweater and made my way to the bathroom. A splash of cold water on my face and the mirror reflects what was infront of it. Even though it's still the same old me staring back, it feels... different. The pride and sense of duty is gone. Sometimes I look at my own reflection until the sun comes up. I believe that's what they call denial or a sense of loss. Yes, I felt lost in this new world. This old soldier can't adapt to the changing times. It's like a bad dream I can't wake up from. I occasionally go to sleep hoping I wake up along my fellow squad members and kin, but it never happens. I need to get out to clear my mind. Staying inside another day is just gonna bring me down further.
It's still dark outside. Only the streetlights and the neon signs of the convenience store is lit. It would be another hour before it opens. The air outside is so fresh and crisp, and while the temperature is getting low this time of year and the leaves start to change colour and slowly sail to the ground, there's no cold wind yet. There's still a slight chill against my scales, but it never really bothered me that much. In fact, I kind of like it. Never really was a fan of hotter areas I would get deployed to from time to time. For all intents and purposes this was my home. A few cars pass by. I take no notice of it until one of them slow down and an empty soda can is thrown in my direction from one of the vehicles passing. I hear someone yell at me briefly before they speed off and disappear down the street, out of sight. To think this could have been someone I had met, if only for a moment, that looked up to me as a peacekeeper and a symbol of order and stability... yeah, it pains me a little. It's like overnight we were branded as some kind of evil force and it kept going like a... domino effect I believe it's called, until I was hated for just existing. For what I was exposed as in their eyes. The fact is that I liked these humans I was charged with protecting. Perhaps it is the mental programming I was subjected to, but it felt real to me. I remember children waving at me, smiling, and I used to wave back at them. Their laughter and playful antics always brought a smile to my face and made my day feel better. Now they look at me with fear and walk past me quickly. I let out a heavy sigh and slumped my shoulders thinking about it.
I pass by a human out on a morning walk. He gives me a sideways stare and scowls. Yeah, I can see it in his eyes. There's no need for words to know he is disgusted by me. Not long after I can feel those chilly droplets falling from the sky. Sure enough, the weather forecast was right. Periodic rain throughout the day. I guess that means another day inside after all. And my arms did the thing again, raising up as if I were holding my rifle. Damn reflexes kicking in. I miss that soft green light, the humming and the warmth it gave off. There isn't a trooper walking by my side either. Stoic and focused on their duty. Our duty. As the rain starts to pick up I decide to head home. There was nothing for me out here besides getting wet and cold. It's not the same without the droplets falling onto my chest plate. Nothing is the same.
I flick the light switch on at home and look around. Not much here in terms of furniture and other knick knacks. A TV, piles of clothes in the corner, a sleeping area with my phone on the nightstand and a small kitchen area. It's a little cramped for someone my size but I can manage. I don't even have a chair or sofa. It's not like I ever have guests coming over to stay. But I have a heat rock atleast. That's one luxury we never had in service, so that's always something. I briefly think about getting breakfast but decide against it. Maybe some more sleep is in order. I don't have these awful thoughts in my head while I'm asleep. It would've been easier if I wasn't knocked out with the butt of a rifle stock to the back of my head and dragged off to a holding cell back then. Just a bullet to the head would've been a preferably alternative to this reality. Atleast I would've died in combat like a soldier, not live on like some social pariah. As I coil up to make myself comfortable and close my eyes I keep thinking to myself I will wake up in the sleeping pod again. This time surely. Yeah, this is all a bad dream. A test. Cruel one, yes, but a test of willpower. Something to overcome if bad were to come to worse. I slowly drift off to sleep with the raindrops hitting against the window.
Elders, allow me to persevere this trial, give me the mercy of service and death in your name. For ADVENT. For my sake. Please... let me wake up from this bad dream...