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Zali loved the beach. Something about the serenity of the scene totally made him feel at ease. The sound of the water crashing against the rocks, the wind whistling through the tall grass beside him, the birds cawing above… it made him feel safe. It’s the only place he’s ever truly felt at home.
Remembering how he came to live in such a remote area with his best friend, Wilson, makes him laugh every time. Wilson was determined to live in an ocean-side home his whole life, no matter what it took, no matter how far away it was from any major towns. He just had to live here. Zali laughed at his enthusiasm. The only thing that he was worried about was if an emergency were to happen, it would take a long time for help to arrive, but Zali had a fairly extensive knowledge of medicine and healing arts, so that eased his mind more than he cared to admit. Besides, being the sole provider for Wilson meant that he could guarantee his safety, and that all he could ever ask for him. He was the closest thing Zali had to family, so it meant a lot to ensure that Wilson was cared for. At this point, he considered Wilson like a younger brother. Not having him around for a couple of months while he travelled for work was going to be odd, but it was nice to have time to himself.
The smell of the salty water invaded his senses as he walked along the coast. He loved to walk along the edge of the sea, just letting his mind roam. It was therapeutic to be able to let his thoughts free. He could practically draw the coast by memory due to the amount of times he’s walked it. They’ve lived out here for six years now, and he took this same route just about every single day if he could help it, weather permitting.
So when he finds a large crater-like hole in the sand that certainly wasn’t there yesterday, he gets a little curious. Concerned. He isn’t sure what to think, but one thing is for sure, it isn’t normal. He had to find out what caused it.
Zali approached the unknown landmark cautiously, not knowing what to expect. As he looked over the edge, he was relieved to find that there was nothing in the hole… save for some large, dark-as-night feathers.
He, against his better judgment, decided to slide in, picking a feather up and inspecting it. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before, and definitely nothing like any of the wildlife in the area. Nothing was big enough to have plumage of this size. The coloring was very dark, blacker than the darkest crow he’d seen around.
Zali’s mind was racing as he looked around, noticing the markings on the ground. It looked as if something was dragged out of the hole in the sand. He followed the trail, going along with it all the way to the edge of the treeline…
Anxiety reached to his very core as he spotted a singular, almost… human footprint, just before the grass covered where they would have continued. He hesitated, debating on whether or not to continue following the trail, but pure curiosity set in, and he decided to press on. The footprints continued, some of the foliage crushed in the path left behind. Whoever it was, being found clearly wasn’t their first concern.
Inner turmoil finally began to set in some time into the search. What was he doing? Why was Zali throwing himself into this situation? He could easily just leave and go home. But something compelled him to keep going.
Zali rounded one last tree, and froze in his tracks. There was blood, but it wasn’t like any blood he’d seen. Blood was normally red, right? Why was this… silver, almost? He somehow knew it was blood, but it was unlike anything he was used to seeing. Now he had to figure out what this was.
Continuing down the path, he kept head moving side to side, staying alert. But a single noise froze him in his tracks. He heard a groaning, clearly someone in pain. Despite his heart rate increasing with each step, he needed to know what this was. More importantly, who this was.
As Zali reached the small, open space, there he saw who the culprit was. It was, to say the least, nothing he’d ever imagined seeing before. It was human, for the most part, save for the fairly large, black as night wings he had sprouting from his back, right around where his shoulder blades were. To say Zali was stunned speechless was an understatement. His head was spinning; from fear or something else, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he felt compelled to help the man.
Zali’s voice trembled as he spoke. “H-Hello? Do you need any help…?”
The man shot up into a sitting position from where he was laying on the ground. His blond hair was sticking up every which way, his eyes a deeper shade of purple than any of the amethyst stones Wilson brought back to him occasionally. The man had tan skin, scars covering parts of his face. His expression screamed fear, but his eyes… they shone out almost like they were crying out for help.
“W-Who are you? Stay back! Leave me be!” The man cried out in fear. He let out a grunt of pain, and his wings extended. He tried to gain lift, getting up off the ground, but he only went a few feet before landing back on the forest floor with a heavy thud.
Zali rushed to the man, quickly reaching for his handkerchief in his back pocket and raising it to the wounds on the man’s face. He froze, looking at Zali like a scared animal cornered.
Zali understood that expression. He sees it fairly often, so he understands exactly what he needs to do.
“Hey…” Zali kept his voice low, managing his tone to stay composed and calm with his words. “I’m not here to hurt you, I’m here to help… it doesn’t matter how you got here, that isn’t my concern. Let me take you somewhere safe, okay? I want to make sure you’re alright…”
Zali wasn’t sure what to expect. After all, he’d never dealt with someone with wings before, so there was a bit of a disconnect between his prior knowledge and the situation unfolding before him. But he decided at that moment that he looked human enough, so he would try his best to treat it like he would any other person.
As the man realized that he truly wasn’t going to be hurt by Zali, he softened up a bit, though his breaths were still rapid. His eyes were constantly flickering back and forth, almost like he was expecting someone to burst through the bushes and capture him at any moment. And Zali could almost swear that he had small tears forming in the corners of his eyes, but it could have also just been his imagination through the adrenaline.
“W-Why are you… helping me?” the man asked shakily.
“I’m a medic, it’s what I do. I see someone in need, I help them. Simple,” Zali replied, not giving it a second thought. “And, if you don’t mind me asking… what’s your name? Just so I know what to address you by.”
“My name?” The man seemed confused, tilting his head.
“Yeah… you have one, right?” Zali responded, calm as ever.
“Yeah… sorry, it’s just that your kindness to a complete stranger, no matter how simple, has thrown me for a loop. I’ve never experienced this from a human before…”
The man sighed, sitting up a little straighter as he realized that Zali truly did not intend to hurt him. “My name is Vantacrow. But… most just shorten it to Vanta.”
“Well,” Zali chuckled a little bit, “the name seems fitting.” He raised his hand slightly, referring to the jet black wings that jutted out from Vanta’s back.
“Yeah… I get that a lot. But… can I ask you a question… uh, whatever your name is?”
Zali smiled kindly at Vanta. It seemed to put him at ease whenever Zali smiled. “My name is Vezalius. But most people shorten it to Zali so it isn’t a mouthful. And yes, you can ask me a question. Ask while we walk home, okay?”
Zali stood up, offering a hand out to Vanta. Vanta looked up at Zali, hesitantly taking his hand and standing up with him. They walked side by side, Vanta’s eyes glued to the ground. He seemed too nervous to do anything but look at the ground as he walked… well, more like limped. Zali noticed that his walking was uneven, and he wasn’t putting much pressure on his right leg.
“Hey… if you need to lean on me, you can. I don’t want that leg to get worse, you know,” Zali said, looking at Vanta. He raised his gaze from the ground to Zali just long enough to give him a pained gaze, and Zali knew that he was really hurting.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to be any more trouble than I already am… you’re already showing me so much kindness, I don’t think I deserve that,” Vanta said sheepishly.
“Nonsense.” Zali took Vanta’s arm, making him lean into Zali as they walked. Though Vanta seemed embarrassed about it, he didn’t move away from him. In fact, he almost seemed relieved when he was made to take the help offered to him. “Anyway, Vanta… what was your question?”
“Oh! Right, um…” Vanta cleared his throat. “I was just wondering… why are you so calm right now? I mean… I thought that if anyone saw me, they would be horrified to see me since I’m clearly not human. But you… your first instinct was to show me mercy and help me. Why?”
“Like I said to you earlier, I’m a medic,” Zali said, looking around as they walked. He smiled as the warm ocean breeze brushed past them, the smell of salt in the air comforting. Zali hummed happily, capturing Vanta’s full attention now. They reached the beach now, passing by Vanta’s original landing point. Vanta winced slightly, as if just the memory alone of landing physically hurt him. They walked on, Zali leading the both of them on and in the direction of his home.
He continued. “Though I don’t know as much about animals, I know how to treat some animals as well, primarily birds and other small mammals. I taught myself after I moved out here because I like being able to take care of the wildlife around me. Anyway, I’m getting off track! My point is, I don’t judge based on any factor; race, religion, gender, hell, even species.” He finished his statement off with a small laugh.
“You seem very kind…” Vanta said, tilting his head to the side in a curious manner. Zali smiled. The combination of the head tilt, the tone of his voice, the shape of his mouth as he smiled a little… it reminded him of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. Curious as ever.
“I try my best to be. Look, there we go,” Zali said as he pointed with his free hand towards his home as it came into view.
Vanta looked at it and seemed amazed. “Wow… that’s where you live?”
“Yeah, of course!” Zali smiled and continued to walk. “What’s the matter? You look surprised.”
“Honestly? I am a bit surprised. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I didn’t expect it to be so… nice,” Vanta said quietly, looking around at the area around them as well. “It’s beautiful out here, so I can see why you like it. I also didn’t expect it to be so… well, so remote. I almost expected you to live in a really nice place in the city when you said you were a medic. Which also is the reason why I got so nervous when you mentioned taking me to your home. I didn’t want to be seen by anyone else, but I’m afraid if I don’t get seen somehow, I’ll only get worse until I just end up dying now that I’m in the mortal plane of existence.”
“Well, you’re lucky I came across you then, huh?”
Zali flashed a smile at him, and somehow, Vanta swore his heart skipped a beat. How could this total stranger bear to be so kind and sweet?
The pair made their way to the house, and Zali had Vanta sit down at the island in the kitchen.
“Are you sure you want to do it here? Isn’t this where you would prepare food normally?” Vanta seemed perplexed by the choice in workspace, but regardless, didn’t argue with him.
“There’s more room for me to work here with your… amenities,” Zali said, gesturing to Vanta’s wings. “I’d rather your wings not knock over any of my bigger and more fragile equipment within my office. Stay right here, I’ll go get my supplies.”
When Zali disappeared from the room, Vanta sat still, looking around and taking it all in. The whole place was in pristine condition, almost like no one had stepped foot in here for days. One of the photos on the wall caught Vanta’s eye, and it made him smile. The caption written under the photo in the frame was ‘Wilson’s 21st Birthday’. It was of Zali and Wilson, smiling and raising drinks together at a bar, bright lights beaming behind them. They both seemed ecstatic, and it warmed Vanta’s heart to see.
A chuckle from behind him pulled his attention back to the present as he whipped around. Zali stood at the island, unpacking what seemed to be an advanced and completely outfitted first aid kit.
“Sorry, I did not mean to startle you,” Zali said with a chuckle. “Enjoying looking around?”
Zali patted the seat in front of him, and Vanta made his way over to it, sitting. “Yeah… who is that with you in the picture?”
“That’s my housemate and best friend, Wilson. He’s gone for a while for work purposes, but I like to think that you two would get along.” Zali smiled as he thought of the blond boy, his upbeat energy enough to brighten anyone’s day.
“You think so?” Vanta hissed in pain as Zali began to clean one of the wounds, starting with his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Zali said, his tone sympathetic as ever. “I know this isn’t going to feel very good, but I promise you that I’m trying to be as gentle as possible.”
“I know you are, and I truly appreciate all you’re doing for me,” Vanta replied, gritting his teeth as Zali began to stitch up one of the larger wounds. Once that was done with, Zali hesitated a moment, not quite knowing how to approach the next place. He’d never seen a person have wings, so it was a strange experience. Zali gently placed a hand on the backing of his wing, and felt down the side. It couldn’t have been any different than a bird’s wing, right?
Vanta shuddered at the feeling. It was… definitely a unique experience. He’d never felt anything like it; he hadn’t ever had anyone touch his wings in such an intimate sort of way.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Zali sounded concerned. Vanta couldn’t see his face, but he assumed that he’d have a worried expression on his face, brows drawn together and all.
“No, no, not yet at least…” Vanta said. “It’s just that my wings are pretty sensitive to touch, so that may happen more than once. I just hope I don’t end up embarrassing myself.” He chuckled a little, whether it be nervous or not, as he ended the sentence.
“Okay… please, if it hurts too much or I make you uncomfortable, please tell me and I’ll stop immediately.” Zali began to work again, trying to feel up the bone structure of Vanta’s wings. He was trying to be as gentle as possible while checking for any breaks or other injuries. In doing so, Zali realized just how soft the feathery appendages really were. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. No bird he’d ever laid a hand on had feathers as soft as this.
Zali took in a breath as he continued. “I apologize, I will be a little more careful, but… this will hurt a little bit. I’m sorry.”
_______________________________________________
It had taken Zali several hours to properly take care of all the wounds Vanta had, from the larger ones that required stitches to the smaller ones that had just required a bit of cleaning. Vanta seemed to take it all well, only really making a sound once when Zali got close to the base of his wings, right along his spine. Zali apologized profusely, but Vanta just grit his teeth and insisted he continued. After all was said and done, Zali had offered Vanta to take the spare room in the basement. It was the least he could do.
“Are you sure you want me to stay in your home? I mean… I’m still essentially a stranger to you, you know,” Vanta said, eyes widening at the offer.
“Well, then, let’s make it so we aren’t strangers. You know my name, I know yours… but I know nothing else about you, about that, you are right.” Zali stood up from his spot on the couch, making his way to the kitchen. He returned with a small tray, and on the tray rested a set for tea and some cookies.
“Help yourself, please. I don’t know if… whatever you are, needs to eat, but I figured it would be safe to offer,” Zali said, giving a reassuring smile to Vanta.
Vanta smiled back. “Thank you. You’re very sweet… and though my kind need not actually eat, it’s still nice to do so every once in a while. I consider it like enjoying the finer things.” He took a cup from the tray, filling it and adding in everything he wanted. Zali took note of just how much sugar he added, smiling to himself.
“By the way…” Zali stirred his cup absentmindedly, watching the way the liquid moved within the cup. “If you don’t mind me asking… what exactly are you?”
“I don’t mind sharing… it’s just you, and you’re a trustworthy person. I’m an angel. Well… now fallen angel, I suppose would be the politically correct term.” Though his face didn’t show any signs of it at all, there was a slightly sad tone in the air as he stated the last part.
“I figured it was something along those lines, if I’m completely honest. What other type of being can be just a human with wings?” Zali noticed the slightly sad tone, and tried his best to attempt humor to lift his spirits. Vanta seemed very sweet, and it broke his heart a little to see him so upset.
Vanta laughed a little, a sound that Zali swore felt like it filled the whole room. “I’m glad you’re at least not afraid of me. That for sure is a relief. I’d heard horror stories from other angels of formers who had been cast out from above before I had, and they said some… horrible things. Some were killed, some were captured and experimented on, and some… some completely just disappeared. Caught somewhere between here and there. Kind of like what you humans would refer to as Limbo, or Purgatory.”
“That sounds awful…” Zali took a sip of his tea, putting the cup down on the tray. He leaned back, looking at Vanta as he laid on the couch with a gentle smile. “If it means anything, I’m glad I was able to find you and assist you. You seem too kind to not help.”
“I’m very glad you think I’m kind.” Zali could have been imagining it, but he swore Vanta cut himself off from saying something else there. Like he was biting his tongue, as if he was going to say something that would get him in trouble.
“Well… can I ask you some more questions? If that’s alright with you, of course!”
Vanta sat his cup down as well, laying down on his side to get as comfortable as possible. “Of course you can, I don’t mind at all.”
“Well… how old are you?”
“That’s quite a complicated question, to be completely honest,” Vanta said, scratching the back of his neck a bit. He seemed nervous as he answered. “Human years and angel years are different. In angel years, I am twenty five, but in human years, I’m rapidly approaching three hundred.”
“Woah… that’s kind of cool to know. You don’t look like it at all.” Zali didn’t seem any bit afraid or nervous. If anything, Vanta was fairly surprised by how interested he seemed in how different it all was.
“Well, yeah, duh,” Vanta said, laughing a little. “We don’t age the same way, so we wouldn’t look the same either.”
“Right! I, uh… I’m sorry if it’s a bit of a sensitive topic, but another thing I was wondering was why and how you ended up here on Earth? Like… aren’t you still supposed to be-”
“Yeah, supposed to be. It’s… gosh, it’s a difficult story, but I feel like you deserve to know if I’m being allowed to stay here,” Vanta said, sighing and rubbing his face in an exasperated manner. “Before I start, though, I want to apologize for the manner in which we met. When we traverse between realms, we experience a sort of amnesia, almost like we forget momentarily what our purpose here was, or why we came. Hence why I panicked when I saw you and tried to run away.”
“There’s no need to apologize, I understand,” Zali said, giving a small shrug in understanding. “I’m sure being injured probably made your confusion worse as well.”
“I’m happy you understand,” Vanta said, sitting up as he continued his story. “It really made me feel awful to have been so fearful of you, I can’t imagine how you felt about that. As we walked home, that’s when I really started to remember who you were and where I was.”
“Wait, you knew who I was?” Zali asked, a small smile sprouting.
“Of course I did. Angels know everyone on Earth, after all,” Vanta said, a smile appearing on his face as well for a brief moment before it faded once again. He cleared his throat and kept going. “Well. We, as angels, are obviously divine beings. We watch over the world as it continues on and on. That’s how it’s been essentially since the beginning of time. But the thing is, there are a small subspecies of us that are able to ascend to Guardianship. Becoming a Guardian Angel is one of the highest honors that we can be given. But in order to be granted ascendancy, we must agree to several things. If we break them… we fall. Like me.”
Vanta’s breathing began to shake, and he fidgeted with his hands nervously as he continued. It, strangely enough, broke Zali’s heart to see the way he seemed so afraid to talk about this. Like he would be prosecuted further if he spoke out. But there was something in Zali that tugged at his mind, telling him that this was something Vanta needed to air out.
“The most important thing we must do is, within reason, protect the person we are assigned to. But in order to do that, there are a couple things we must not do. Firstly, if they happen to be old, we cannot use our protection to stop them from dying of old age. There are some things we are just not allowed to stop, like divine intervention. If someone is meant to die, then we have to let it happen. Secondly, we must act with as little bias as possible. Though we are meant to protect the person we are assigned, we have to be fair and partial to them. Like for a hypothetical example, say an angel was assigned to someone, and that someone killed another person. If someone tried to kill that person in retaliation, we are technically not allowed to stop that. Karma is very real, and we are not allowed to mess with it. And thirdly… this part relates to the second. We are not allowed to… to fall in love with those we are assigned. If we do, that immediately puts us down to be cast aside at the next possible opportunity. And… that’s the rule I broke.”
“You… you fell in love?” Zali asked. His heart was absolutely shattered at this point.
Vanta nodded, looking down. It seemed like he couldn’t bring himself to even look at Zali, almost like he was ashamed.
“Would you like to talk about them?” Zali offered, seeing how pained Vanta was.
Vanta seemed to perk up a little, though still the air surrounding them was sad. “I would like that a lot, actually…” He leaned back, closing his eyes. A small smile showed up on his face as he spoke. “He’s lovely. He’s genuinely so kind and caring, it’s so sweet to see. Though while I watched over him, I didn’t see him socialize with people much, but he always went out of his way to help anyone or anything that needed it. It was mostly animals, but his friend that he lived with was very accident prone, so he knew how to help heal humans just as well after a while. He was… he was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen before. And I’d been around, y’know, literal angels my whole life, and yet… no one I’d ever met could compare to him.”
Zali couldn’t stop the burn that spread on his cheeks as Vanta described the man he loved. It was clear that he was still in love, but somehow… it felt familiar. The ache Vanta’s words left in his heart, it hurt in a painfully familiar way. He’d felt it before, the source remaining unknown at that time. But somehow…
“He seems like a wonderful man, Vanta…” Zali said, his voice but a whisper. “Do you know if he’s still… alive, right now?”
“Oh, I know he’s alive for sure.”
“Are you going to go see him once you’re healed?”
“I… I don’t know…” Vanta seemed hesitant, but not upset. In fact… Zali swore he saw Vanta briefly grin before looking over at him.
“Well, thank you for telling me about him… it was nice to see you talk about something you loved so dearly. You looked absolutely elated whilst talking about him,” Zali said with a smile. “But it’s very late, and we’ve been through a lot today. Let’s get you to bed so you can get some rest, alright?”
Vanta nodded, pushing himself up off the couch. Zali quickly made his way over to Vanta’s side, offering support to which Vanta took. He took Zali’s arm, and they made their way downstairs to the guest room Zali had previously spoken of. It was very nice, though cold. It was simply decorated, not much to it, and it was evident that it had probably never been used.
“Again… thank you for your hospitality to me, Zali. I really could not have been any luckier than to land here with someone as-... as kind as you.”
Zali sensed that Vanta was going to say something else, but decided to not push him. “If you need absolutely anything, I will be upstairs, alright?”
“Of course, Zali… thank you. Can I… no, actually, I don’t want to overstep more than I already have.” Vanta looked away, sitting on the bed and feeling the blankets, soft and fluffy against his calloused hands.
“No, you could never. What did you need?” Zali asked, keeping his voice soft and smiling at him.
“I was just going to, um, ask if it was okay if I gave you a hug? As a thank you, you know,” Vanta said, looking down at his hands as he fidgeted with the blankets.
“No need to be so shy, Vanta…” Zali smiled and closed the space between them, leaning down and hugging him. He was careful about where to place his hands so he didn’t get too close to his wings.
Vanta tensed up at first. It came as a surprise that Zali would welcome something like a hug so quickly, but he wasn’t one to complain. Physical affection was one of his favorite things, so when Zali wrapped his arms around him, Vanta welcomed it with open arms, wrapping his own arms around Zali’s waist and just… held him. Neither of them knew how long they stayed like that, all they knew was each others’ warmth, and the happiness they got from it.
Vanta let his arms reluctantly fall away from the smaller, sitting up a bit straighter. It took a moment for Zali to let go as well, and even then, his hands lingered on Vanta’s shoulders, looking at him with an expression worth a thousand words. But not even words were enough to describe the feeling they had as they looked into each other’s eyes and truly just smiled at one another.
“I should get going…” Zali said, finally pulling his hands away from Vanta.
“Alright… goodnight, Zali.”
“You, too.”
Zali hesitated outside the door once it had fully shut, and he was left in the darkness of the hallway. He had only known Vanta for such a short time, and yet, their connection felt unmistakably familiar. A sort of comfort he swears he’s felt before.
It felt like his head was swimming with an array of thoughts he couldn’t quite properly convey, everything felt like it was going a million miles an hour. Why was his head left empty after Vanta’s simple act of affection back there?
Why was his heart left pounding at the absence?
________________________
The next several weeks consisted of just about the same routine.
Vanta would get up, meeting Zali in the kitchen. Zali would be humming and making breakfast for himself, and Vanta would just sit there, enjoying being in his company and listening to his voice. He could never bring himself to say it, but he loved the way Zali sounded while he hummed and sounded so beautiful with such little effort. Vanta would spend time with him and talk to him as he ate, and would help clean up after breakfast.
When Zali was done eating, they would go on a walk along the coast, and Vanta would just listen to Zali as he talked about the native flora, pointing out any wildlife they came across and giving a small infodump about whatever it was, especially the birds. Vanta also found it very endearing the way Zali would get excited about any corvid type bird they’d see. Zali explained that corvids were his favorite type of birds, especially crows. He truly cared for them all, and it was sweet. One of the crows seemed to take a real liking to Vanta, and it made Zali laugh a lot.
At one point, Zali asked if they should name their little crow friend. It was the same one every time, they knew, because one of the crow’s claws was curled in from a previous injury. It was unmistakable to recognize that it was the same one each time, and Vanta loved the idea of naming it. Zali let Vanta decide on the name, and they both loved Vanta’s suggestion of naming it Kurococco. The little bird followed them home from their walks every day, and rested on the railing of the front porch, sitting like he was keeping watch over the house. Once they’d returned home, Zali would make lunch, do some chores around the house, relax, make dinner, spend some time with Vanta, just the two of them, and then they’d go to bed. Once a week Zali would order groceries to be delivered to the house, and that was that. Life remained as simple as it had before Vanta’s arrival, and it seemed so effortless to add Vanta to his daily scheduled routine.
Zali didn’t know when it happened, but there was a point in time where his view of Vanta had shifted slightly. Well… maybe a little more than just slightly. Regardless, at one point, there was definitely some sort of a shift. Now instead of smiling back and returning the kind looks Vanta gave him, he would get flustered a bit, blushing occasionally. It definitely did not go unnoticed by Vanta, but he kept it to himself. Vanta didn’t want to make Zali possibly stop, since he found the reaction so endearing. It also encouraged him to push the boundaries in some slightly more subtle ways, like little touches to Zali’s waist as he passed by, a hand on Zali’s shoulder, just small things. And each time he did something, Zali just got more flustered each time, the blush that dusted his cheeks unmistakable. Vanta knew what he was doing, and Zali knew it too. But neither of them said anything. The excitement of the words left unspoken was what kept it going.
At one point, on a particularly cool night, Vanta approached Zali, a bright smile on his face.
“Zali! I found a place deeper in the woods I want to show you. I know you don’t typically go alone, but… I want to show you.”
“Sure!” Zali responded, smiling. “When did you want to go?”
“Are you busy right now? Doing anything specific?”
Zali put a bookmark in the book he held. “I’m not busy, no. Let’s go to this mystery spot you found.”
Vanta smiled, taking Zali’s hand excitedly and leading him out of the house. Zali couldn’t help but smile. He loved holding Vanta’s hand but, again, could never say that to his face.
Vanta took an odd path, one that Zali had never seen before. It seemed new, so perhaps this is what Vanta was working on when Zali took time to himself to be alone. After all, it seemed oddly convenient that there was such a clear path to seemingly the middle of nowhere.
The pair reached a clearing that was on the edge of a cliff. To say the view from the edge was breathtaking would be the understatement of the century. It was absolutely astonishing. The serenity of the ocean waves, the shining lights of a beach side town across the bay, the way the stars sparkled above… everything in this moment seemed perfect.
“Vanta… this place is beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here…”
“Yeah… well… this place truly is nothing, when you’re standing before it,” Vanta said, giving Zali’s hand a gentle squeeze. Zali smiled at Vanta, and an eruption of butterflies bloomed within him. It was the first time Vanta had outwardly expressed any sort of affection. Feeling the invisible strings between them was one thing, but to personally hear it… well, that was another beast entirely. One that had been looming beside them for some time now.
“You… you think I’m beautiful?” Zali said, seemingly having the breath taken from him.
“I always have. Ever since I was above.”
The words fell between them like a sack of bricks. “Vanta… what are you saying? What do you mean, since you were above?”
Vanta took in a deep breath, then turned to Zali, taking both hands in his own as he spoke. “I… I’ve been wanting to tell you this for the longest time, but couldn’t come up with the proper words to tell you, because you truly deserved to know. When… when I was trying to tell you about the reason I fell from above, it took all I had in me to not give away that…”
Vanta trailed off, and Zali gave a gentle squeeze to his hands, encouraging him to go on. So he did.
“Zali, it took all I had to not give away at that moment that the person I had fell in love with, the person I willingly fell from above for… was you.”
Zali felt like every bit of air that was in his lungs had been ripped away from him in that instant. It was a lightheaded sort of feeling, it left him feeling like he was floating and he was loving it.
“It… it was me? This whole time, it was me?”
“Yes, Zali, it was…” Vanta looked down at his hands cupping Zali’s, letting go and choosing to let his palms rest on Zali’s cheeks, thumbs lightly grazing over his cheekbones, hands feeling the warm glow of Zali’s blush. “It was you the whole time. I genuinely could not have been more lucky or be more grateful that I had landed here. That you were the one that helped me, the one that took me in… and that you seemingly loved me back.”
Zali felt a lump forming in his throat. He had never been so emotionally overwhelmed in a positive way like this. It was everything he had ever wanted and more. The happy tears finally made an appearance at the same time Zali smiled, probably the biggest and most genuine smile he had ever let out.
“Of course I love you back…” Zali said, his voice all but a shaky whisper. “How could I not? I somehow ended up being blessed by some higher grace to have a literal celestial being love me. How could I not return it, especially when it’s you? You’ve shown me in this time that I’m more than deserving of love, and that I should love myself as well. I forgot for the longest time even how to love myself… but you somehow managed to remind me as well. That I was worthy of the same level of love as I give to the land and creatures to those around me, that I’m worthy of the same amount of effort that I put forward into helping others. You helped me realize that, Vanta. I couldn’t be more grateful to anyone else in the world right now…”
Vanta gently wiped the tears forming in the corners of Zali’s eyes, leaning forward and giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Please, don’t cry, my love… it breaks my heart.”
“No! It’s okay, it’s all happy tears, I promise,” Zali said, chuckling a little as he spoke and sniffled. “I can’t help it… I’ve felt like this for a while, and just never knew how to bring it up.”
“Well, now you know…” Vanta looked at Zali, feeling as though all the words left unspoken for weeks have finally been put out into the world. He could now freely say that the man standing in front of him was truly the love of his life. Vanta let his gaze shift, thumb tracing lightly over Zali’s lips.
Zali couldn’t take the waiting anymore, feeling like the past several weeks were waiting enough. He leaned forward, pushing himself up onto his tiptoes, and kissed Vanta, resting his arms around his shoulders. Vanta kissed back, his own hands resting on Zali’s waist. The pair gave one another a series of small kisses, cute, and only broken by the occasional shy laughter from the other. The both of them were in disbelief by the fact that the feelings were mutual. Zali had the feeling that this was one kiss of many to come. The only thing besides them in this moment was the gentle crashing of the waves against the rocks and shore below.
Zali really did love the beach, after all.