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"Just give-just it to me." Michael says to Fernando, who's playfully teasing him with a packet of m&ms, by giving it to him and then a second later snatching it away.
Lincoln sat on the couch, glaring at him. LJ sat next to him, he marked his book and put it down to slap his dad on the arm. "Ow! What?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asks back. "I haven't seen Uncle Mike this happy in ages, why are you being such a dick for?"
"Because Sucres a douche."
"Doesn't seem like it to me.
"Oh yeah, and what would you know?"
"Uncle Mike said he's saved his life and yours countless times, shouldn't that be enough?"
"No." Is all he says. "Uncle Mike seems genuinely happy with him, how is that not enough for you?"
"Oh yeah? Your uncle seemed happy with plenty of people and none of them were good for him."
LJ rolls his eyes at his father, "well maybe he's different from the others." Lincoln shakes his head, "no, no definitely not."
"Hey Uncle Mike!" LJ yells. Lincoln glares at him too. "Is Fernando different from the other people you dated?"
"Why?" He glances at his nephew then brother, "just wondering."
"I mean, yeah I guess. He's never date raped me, hidden other drugs in my drinks, hit, stalked, threatened or assaulted me, so you know..." he shrugs it off, as if all of that is normal.
"Doesn't mean you’re not a douche." He says to Sucre, glaring once again. "I don't care." Fernando says back, eating one of the m&ms, making Michael frown at him.
"Linc you do realise that without him, you'd be dead right?"
"That doesn't mean I have to like him."
"Although without me you'd be dead as well." He says as an after thought.
"You know I could say the same thing about you Mike." Lincoln grumbles, not enough for his brother to hear. "What was that?" He says sharply. Lincoln rolls his eyes.
"I just said I could say the same for you." Michaels frowning now, the air is tense, annoyance evident.
He's not even sure what he's annoyed about, it's not like it isn't true or something. Lincoln has helped Michael throughout his life having to deal with things from eating disorders to addiction.
He most certainly would be dead long ago of his brother didn't force himself to help him through it.
"Well I'm so fucking sorry you had to deal with all of that alright, but it's not like you gave me much of choice, now did you?"
“I apologise for being concerned and trying to help my little brother with every other shitty problem you seemed to have had." Lincoln shoots back.
"And I'm so sorry that I didn't mean to become an alcoholic, a drug addict, a sex worker to try and survive, have insomnia, an eating disorder where I was throwing up in the toilet every other night or so help me tried slitting my wrists on my own fucking birthday."
Michael storms out, Fernando touched his shoulder to try and calm him down, but he shakes him off and leaves to the deck.
He sits in a chair, sitting on it sideways so his legs dangle over the arm rests, with a hand to his temple, trying to calm himself.
He takes slow and deep breaths, steadying his heart rate.
"Uncle Mike?" Lj asks in an uncertain voice. Michael sighs loudly. "Yeah?"
"Just uh came to see if you're okay is all." Michael lets out a dry laugh, "Peachy."
He sits down on the chair next to him, daring to give a glance. "Did all of that stuff really happen to you?"
"Get me a beer and I’ll answer your questions.”
He comes back with two beers, Michael smiles at him and puts the spare under his chair. Lj has a soda.
"Did all of that stuff really happen?" He asks again. Michael nods slowly. He looks at his uncle again, wondering if he should ask the questions he has.
"I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to know about any of that. It’s too late now, go ahead and ask the questions."
"What kind of drugs?" Is the first question.
Michael shrugs. "Any that I could get my hands on. Weed, ecstasy, crack, pills. It didn't really matter to me."
"And the uh sex work?" He asks a little awkwardly.
Lj never thought in a million years that asking his uncle about being a sex worker would be a conversation he'd have.
"Wait hold on, are you even supposed to be drinking?" He realises that giving a former alcoholic a beer is probably not a good idea.
Michael waves him off. "It's fine. Every now and then is okay. Or if I keep track of them it'll be fine. I used be a prostitute. The job I hadn't wasn't enough to survive off of."
"What about dad?"
"What do you mean?"
"Weren't you living with dad?"
"This was between high school and college. So yes and no."
"Sorry, did I just hear you say high school." Michael nods.
He closes his eyes for a minute, then swiftly opens them at the sight of the unsavoury memories.
"I was around your age, maybe a year younger until somewhere in college." Lj's silent, he takes all this information in.
Michael was around his age when he let all those people touch and violate him. An involuntary shiver runs up his back.
"What kind of people?" He asks, even though deep down he knows. "Usually old men with children twice my age." He admits. "Although there was this one lady who wanted to talk about her feelings for three hours. That was okay. Not all of them were bad, just most."
"The toilet?"
"It started as anorexia but once I realised I could throw it all up. It became bulimia."
"What about your birthday?" Michael takes a gulp of his drink. "What happened then?"
"I cut too deep then, part of me was relieved at that. Didn't have to live the why I did anymore. No more poverty, addiction and whatever else."
"So what happened? You're still alive?"
"Your dad found me. He called an ambulance and told them I had accident my hurt myself on a broken mirror shard. He didn't leave me alone for a while after that."
Michael rolls his eyes. "Slept on the floor of my bedroom, made me shower with the door open as he stood outside. No sharp objects. At dinner he'd cut my food up into little squares."
"Do you ever think about doing it again?" Lj wasn't actually sure if he wanted his answer or not. "Sometimes. When I was desperate and trapped."
"How old were you? What was it like when you thought you were dying?"
"It was cold. Really cold. My teeth were chattering. It's true what they say about your life flashing before your eyes. I was nineteen."
"You weren't even an adult yet." Lj says to himself, curling up in his chair.
This time Michael turns to glance at him, feeling a mixture of guilt and shame. He gets up and opens his arms.
Lj understands this and immediately lunges for him, wrapping his arms around Michael and burying his head in his neck.
"Are you this much of a sook for your father too, or is it just me?" He joked. "I'm not a sook." He mumbles. "You're empathetic like me. You are a total sook."
He runs a hand through his nephews hair, calming him down. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that." He says quietly.
"It's okay, you shouldn't have to worry about me."
"But that's not fair."
"I know, I know buddy."
"You worry about everyone else and their problems all of the time."
"I know but you shouldn't have to worry about what happened to me, I'm supposed to worry about you alright."
"I'm really glad you're still here."
"Me too kiddo. I love you so much, you know that right?"
"Yes, I love you too uncle Mike.” He mumbles ad Michael holds him tight.