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It kept on buzzing. This horrible rumbling that shook on my desk. Although I am well informed by colleagues that I am rather tech savvy, I chose not to turn my phone to silence. Rather, I let it persist and I continue to my gin as I stare outside the window of my office...
Christmas Eve...
I was supposed to be at a party, but... it didn't awake in me. I thought going to parties would be easy, but I am still chained by this wretched skin of mine. Dead skin... Has it yet to strip away? I thought I was healed... When Wright came to my rescue—
Wright...
Is he the one calling me? Because of my absence? I wish he wouldn't... He truly doesn't know when to give up. I thought that was only in the courtroom, but he proved otherwise well early on that's just who he is. I wonder then if he has an attachment to people who are helpless and broken. That he can't help himself but to save others... What did he think of me then? Was I just a wild injured animal, caged and afraid, needing to be tamed and healed by him? Did he think getting rid of von Karma would just absolve all my issues...?
I stare blankly at the specs of snow falling down below. The numbing buzz of my phone halted, or at least I stopped caring about its existence. In a way my ignorance of it felt just and its persistent effort to remain was my torture, my punishment. How many people have I hurt? Why should I be allowed forgiveness? All those people who were wrongly convicted... they could have been celebrating Christmas today and tomorrow.
Who is to say I'm worthy of happiness, right?
"Edgeworth!"
Wright...
My spacing off crashlands right back into reality as my body jolts, nearly spilling my fine cup of gin, the smashing clatter of the plate against it almost leaving me scared to think I broke it. And as I fiercely turned my head towards the chamber door of my office I saw him standing there. His face an odd concoction of relief and annoyance. Who else claded in blue, but... Phoenix Wright.
"Edgeworth, what are you doing here," he says to me now inching his way more into my office, "I've been trying to call you for the last hour."
"Oh I've noticed," I say with a hushed sigh.
"I've been looking for you everywhere, Edgeworth. I even checked your apartment!" I almost wanted to laugh. His annoyance at my displacement from his world felt childish. However, as foolish as he was, he was always genuinely heartfelt... "I thought something bad happened to you," he says softening, "and I think something's bothering you now... isn't it?"
I drink my gin once more to hide my expression. He intends to infiltrate under my skin, gather the cancer eroding me and throw it out? But it is not so easily done. I set my cup and plate down and get up from my leathered furniture to face Wright in proper.
"Why do you care so much?" His reaction was one of shock at my coldness.
"I asked you if you wanted to come to the party! You said 'yes, sounds like a fine evening'! But you weren't there! Maya, Pearls, Ema, Gumshoe, they're all there! ...So why are you here?"
For one of the few times in my life, I heard Wright pained. Really, why should he care this much? Shouldn't he be unwrapping gifts and drinking eggnog with the people who he is desired by...? Why spend even a second in this office on this night?
My silence was knife cutting, my lack of eye contact even worse, but I could feel Wright piercing into my soul and analyze every trench carved into my heart after years and years of corrosive warfare against my morality and righteous being. I could hear it in his voice that he knew what was wrong...
"This is more than just about the party... isn't it?" There he goes. He's done it once again. I hold my breath, waiting for him to leave, but I know he won't go. I only want to lay down and just sleep this horrible night away. "You're still thinking about that trial aren't y—"
"Dont... start, Wright..." I wanted to lash out at him I wanted to yell like a banshee in the night for him to leave my office and never return! Not even for another duel...
So why didn't I do that?
"I'm...," I swallowed to try to choke down any unnecessary emotions that may cast me aside, "I am not having you waltz in here just so you can psychoanalyze me like a lab rat in a maze. Frankly, how dare you even come here at all trying to save me again on this day! In fact, thinking you saved me is wrong, you just helped me out of a predicament." I was running my mouth so much I left myself almost out of breath. "So why don't you just go already? Just go and leave me to my rot..." A great silence inflated between us as we saw each other's steeled eyes.
"Miles...," the softness in his voice crept down my spine, goosebumps spreading all over my body, "what happened before was horrible and I know you think you probably don't deserve to be forgiven... to be loved... or to be wanted... but I'm afraid you already are." My eyes soften hearing his heart so clearly. "Not just me, but Maya and everyone back at the office were hoping to see you... genuinely... Pearls even had a present for you that she wrapped herself (although not the best)."
A warm sensation builds in my cheeks and my stomach begins churning like an engine poking at every inch of my stomach. I could feel it now, a welling of tears building up. Wright slowly begins walking towards me, calmly.
"It's true you did hurt a lot people but you are not that same person anymore. The Miles Edgeworth that we love, that we know, saves lives. He is a man of great skill and, hehe, great aesthetic. And we know, even hidden beneath a thick sheet of ice, lies a wonderfully caring man." Wright now stands in front of me, close... and warm. "I'm sorry I haven't been more attentive to your wants and needs. You may be right... maybe I only did help you back then, but..." His eyes stare with compassion, but they too looked as watered as mine. He was hurt to see me hurting... "I'm going to spend the rest of what I can to save you, Miles. Miles... I treasure you..."
An orchestra of emotion hits me and as much as I try to fight for my stoic appearance, it is not enough to stop my lip trembling and my vision blurring, for there is something in my eyes. Yes... I see now... these are my tears.
My knees buckle and I grab onto Phoenix, but he holds me and I sob horribly so into his chest. My tears so heavy and wet, it's like a waterfall of them is pouring out of me. But at the same time, it is the most comfort I have felt in years. I've always felt lonely on Christmas, even in the von Karma household, but today and for the years forward, I don't.
I am the happiest I could be... because I am truly loved.