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"You all, what are you doing here?" Kagami glowered at the five boys in front of him, in an outdoor café, on his way home after buying a chocolate ice cream, he saw five boys gathered around a round table. His chocolate ice cream fell down onto the ground since… he didn't know when.
"I am on a date with Kurokocchi!" Kise spoke first.
"What? No, Kise, I'm the one who's on a date with Tetsu here!" Aomine clenched his fist.
"Shut up! It's my date with Kuroko nanodayo!" Midorima fixed his spectacles' position.
"But, Kuro-chin said it's our date," Murasakibara said as he munched on his cookies.
Snip.
A sound of snipped scissors. The five boys turned their head towards the only boy who hadn't talked since the beginning, Akashi. The heterochromatic eyed boy laughed a slow—and almost quiet—sinister laugh.
"Everyone," he smiled, bolding all of his words, "Do you all mean that it is MY date with Tetsuya?"
All of them, minus Kagami and Akashi, shivered.
"Wait, what?" Kagami spoke up, he looked confused. "So, you all are on a date with Kuroko right now?"
They all were frozen up.
"I-i-i-it is right… so… we all are going on a date with Kurokocchi now?" Kise wanted to cry. "But even though you all date Kurokocchi, you are not his boyfriends like me, right? Hahaha!" he laughed so hard at them.
"I AM his boyfriend!" Aomine glared.
"I am," Midorima said.
"Me too," Murasakibara nodded.
Akashi smiled at him, "I am Tetsuya's boyfriend."
"W-what?" Kise was shocked.
"No way nanodayo," Midorima said. "Even if you all are his boyfriend, I am sure that I am his first boyfriend nanodayo."
"Don't talk shit, Midorima! I am certain that I am Tetsu's first boyfriend!" Aomine glared at him.
"But I date Kuro-chin since we were in middle school," Murasakibara explained.
"I date him since middle school!" Aomine hit the table they surrounded.
"M-me too…" a single tear fell down on Kise's cheek.
"I date Tetsuya since we were in elementary," Akashi lied.
Kagami was utterly shocked, it felt as if his eyes wanted to get out from their sockets.
"W-what the fuck? He's FIVE TIMING, I repeat, frigging FIVE TIMING you ALL?" he shouted.
They all were frozen up.
"Oh my God! That's right!" Kise cried.
"E-even though he's five timing us, I am sure he loves me the most! Since I am big and I can satisfy him better! Hahaha!" Aomine laughed.
"Mine is bigger nanodayo," Midorima didn't want to lose.
"But I am the biggest one here…" Murasakibara munched on a stick of Pocky. What he said was true after all.
"No way! I am SUPER SPARTAN BIG! And I LOVE him the most! And even though he doesn't love me, I will still love Kurokocchi!" Kise shouted shamelessly.
"W-what is this big, bigger, biggest, and super Spartan big thing?" Kagami was so confused.
Snip.
A sound of snipped scissors. The five boys turned their head towards the only boy who hadn't talked about this big, bigger, biggest, and super Spartan big thing, Akashi. The heterochromatic eyed boy laughed a slow—and almost quiet—malicious laugh.
"Why don't I cut all of those big things of yours?" he said with super sweet smile on his face.
All of them, once again, minus Kagami and Akashi, shivered in fear.
"Ugh…" Kagami face palmed.
"Geez, and that Kurokocchi leaves me behind like this with misdirection and then meet the four of you here!"
"Tetsu leaves me using misdirection too."
"Do I need to say the same thing when it is obvious? Hmph!" Midorima hmphed.
"Kuro-chin uses misdirection on me too~"
"I see… so he dates all of us in the same day and uses misdirection when he goes to date the others?" Akashi concluded. "Clever, Tetsuya…clever…" he smiled.
"Oh, so, you've met."
A cute voice could be heard while the five boys were glaring at each other—and Kagami became a statue.
The five boys turned their head towards the baby blue haired boy who was holding a cup of vanilla milkshakes on his hand, Kuroko.
"Kurokocchi! You meanie! You super Spartan sweetie cutie meanie boyfriend! You're cheating on me!" Kise cried as he jumped at Kuroko.
"Stop with all the Spartan shits, Kise!" Aomine threw Kise off from Kuroko. "Oi! Tetsu! What the fuck is this shit? You're five timing US!?"
"Explain this, Kuroko," Midorima glared.
"Kuro-chin, you want me to crush you?" Murasakibara said.
"So, it is Tetsuya…" Akashi smiled sweetly, taking one of Kuroko's hands and kissed it.
"Akashicchi, so sly!" Kise screamed.
"I am sorry for making the five of you wait," Kuroko bowed.
"What the fuck, Tetsu?! Don't act all innocent, you bastard!" Aomine kicked a chair.
"Kuro-chin, I'll buy you another vanilla milkshakes."
"Let's go, Kuroko," Midorima reached out for Kuroko's hand before Akashi motioned for him to stop. Midorima stopped.
"Tetsuya, why do you date all of us? Why don't you just choose one of us?" Akashi asked, sneaked his hand on Kuroko's shoulder. Kise screamed bloody murder, but he was ignored by everyone there.
"I am really sorry about this," Kuroko said. "I love the five of you equally. So, when you all asked me to go out at the same time through the message when we were in middle school—"
"Akashi, you said you dated him since elementary nanodayo!" veins popped up on Midorima's forehead. Akashi just smiled.
"—I could not refuse the proposals," Kuroko continued. "That's why I accepted you all."
"So… we became Kurokocchi's boyfriends at the same time?" Kise's eyes were widened.
"Yes," Kuroko said. "I am sorry for not telling you this."
Akashi patted his head and ruffled his hair. "So, that's that. Now, Tetsuya, mind to choose only one of us?"
Kuroko looked at them—at their hopeful face. Aomine first, then Murasakibara, then Kise, and then Midorima, and the last was Akashi.
"I am sorry, Akashi-kun, I can't. I don't want any broken heart exists between us all," Kuroko explained. "But, if you insist then we all can just break up right here."
"NO!" Kise screamed immediately.
"WHAT? NO! Tetsu, are you kidding me?" Aomine shouted.
"You can't do this to me, Kuroko! Hmph!" Midorima glared again.
"Kuro-chin, that's mean," Murasakibara made a sad face.
"So, you all still want to be Tetsuya's boyfriends?" Akashi asked. "Don't you want him to only love one of you?"
They looked at each other for a moment.
"NO! I'm fine with this!" Aomine stated.
"Ugh… I hate this, but CHOOSING ONLY ONE OF US will definitely be bad!"
"Ah, it's better than breaking so many hearts," Murasakibara said as he stuffed his mouth with candies.
"It's not that I like your decision nanodayo. But I don't want to fight, and breaking us up will only create battle nanodayo," Midorima sighed. "It's bad enough to have battles inside the basketball court, we don't need battles outside the court nanodayo."
"Shintarou makes a point," Akashi nodded. "Then, Tetsuya, please allow us all to love you."
"Yes, Akashi-kun."
"Yippie! Give me a hug, Kurokocchi!"
The Kurokosexuals hugged Kuroko and kissed him while groping him.
Meanwhile, Kagami used his jumping ability to jump as far as seven hundreds and eleven year lights from earth after saying, "Nothing to do here."