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Germany hadn't felt like himself since the "incident" with Poland. It had happened about half a month ago, yet he still felt himself reeling from the mistreatment. Just bouncing back from that event as if it was nothing was hard, borderline impossible.
Having his wrists grabbed, being yelled at, forced to say something he didn't want to...
Too much. It was too much. And it caused Germany to feel disconnected from it all. It was getting bad bad. As in, so bad that other countries were noticing he seemed even more off than what was usual for him. They noticed in the times he wasn't in his cubicle, because aside from that, he wasn't getting out of the house at all.
And when some of them came to ask him if he was alright, he ran his >yes I am good, thank you for asking, insert name here< script. Other countries usually left him alone after that. The only one who pressed, which he didn't enjoy that she did, was France.
He, after some moments, admitted that he wasn't doing the best. Germany didn't clarify any specific reason for why that was, simply asked her if she could maybe take care of EU for some days. She didn't seem completely enthralled by the idea, but she accepted.
Well, he supposed it was nice to know that someone would help him.
Not with the emotional shutdown he was having, as that was something he didn't want to burden someone with ever. But for her to accept taking care of EU was a great help, as Germany didn’t currently feel like interacting with anyone who wasn't inanimate. He forwarded her an email with whatever information he saw fit for taking care of such a complex robot.
Germany could... Trust her for a couple of days. Sharing such a big secret with someone was supposed to make them friends, right?
In this meantime, he tried focusing on doing things that might’ve made him feel better. Things such as rewatching the same movie over and over again, or cuddling with Lottie.
Lottie was his Lenovo Thinkpad. She was his personal computer, the one he used to watch restoration videos and play the very few text-based games he did. She was a sturdy gal, ran everything smoothly, was full of personality, and he loved her very much. Germany gave her a cooler for her birthday so she wouldn't overheat. And, a bit selfishly on Germany's part, so that when they cuddled she could be frigid.
That was what he had done yesterday. Today, however, he had woken up feeling somewhat sick. Right now, he was in the kitchen. Germany had been trying to muster up the strength to make something to eat, but he just couldn't do it. He was physically drained, and he was sick.
So he just grabbed three pieces of white bread, eating them with nothing on top. That was all he could do before he cobbled back to his room. His bed was still unmade, and the blinds were drawn. On a normal day, it would have all been tidied by now, Germany going to work freshened up.
Oh, fuck him, he'd have to call in sick. Climbing back into bed, careful so he wouldn't accidentally lay on top of Lottie, Germany went to grab his phone. Just thinking about doing this, he felt a stomach ache coming on. Swallowing dryly, he hovered his fingers over the contact. The country inhaled, attempting to ready himself mentally. Come on, he already had an outline of what he had to say.
After some moments, he still didn't feel absolutely secure, but daylight was burning and he needed to bite the bullet already. Germany clicked to start the call, and put it to his ear.
...
- Hello?
Belgium's calm tone sounded through the phone. Germany cleared his throat.
- Hello, Belgium. I...
- Oh, Germany! Are you alright?
That question threw off the script that Germany was prepared to use for this. Shit.
- Why?
- Well, I didn't see you here today when I came in. You're usually right on time. - Belgium spoke. - Then I saw France come in with EU, and I got worried.
Germany didn't know how to answer that. The call went quiet for some seconds. He could practically imagine Belgium pulling on their hair curls to pass the time. It was always really distracting. The country pushed on, feeling light embarrassment.
- I called to let you know I am not coming into work today, as I'm not feeling good enough to. - Germany said.
He braced for the possible fall-out of what he said. Germany didn't know why, but he just felt like this was wrong somehow, that he shouldn't ever do this, that it was violating some rule he didn't know of...
- Alright.
Alright? Just... Alright? Like that?
Belgium seemed to hear his confusion through the phone, as they began to elaborate.
- If you feel unwell, you should stay home. Nothing wrong with that. - Belgium's voice picked up a pitch. - Besides, Germany, you never miss a day of work. You deserve a break.
- Oh... And you will be alright?
- Yes, don't worry. I think we can survive a day without you.
They laughed.
... Was that supposed to be a joke? A light tease? Germany didn't find it very funny. He did not give them a pity laugh.
- Hey, have a good rest of your day, alright? And if you need it, don't hesitate to take a few days off.
- Ok... Thank you.
Germany took the phone off his ear and ended the call. Belgium was in the middle of saying goodbye when he did so. Ah, he always cut people off by accident on the phone. Either way, it didn't affect him, so he simply set it back on the nightstand.
It wasn't as bad as he was expecting. Although he didn't exactly like what Belgium said. He was sure they were trying to be nice, but... Germany didn't feel comforted by being told it was okay if he wasn't there. Maybe... maybe they preferred it that way.
No.
No, no getting sensitive now. He wasn't a child. To get emotional about this would be embarrassing. He was sure they didn't mean anything by what they had said. Why would they? The both of them were in good terms, there wouldn't be any reason to be mean. It was all good.
Fuck.
Germany had a headache.
He groaned. It would probably be necessary to go get some medicine for this unfortunate predicament. Germany vaguely recalled not having it for headaches at home, they were at work. Not necessarily good thinking ahead on his part.
But he'd have time to reprimand himself for the forgetfulness later, when he actually went to the pharmacy for it. Right now, he should probably rest. It would be comforting, and would maybe help to bring the light fever down. It would be hard to stop thinking about what he should be doing right now, between work and all the things he promised other European countries he would fix, nevermind the unfortunate encounter he had with Poland...
Which, now that he thought about it, made him feel extremely horrible again, not enough numbness to make it seem like something that happened with him, not to him.
Ah, fuck him.
Thankfully, he had Lottie to help him. Germany covered himself with the blanket and brought her closer. Lottie felt good under his fingertips. It brought him down to reality to feel something. So cold! Entirely worth it, however. It made him feel ever so slightly better. Momentary comforts, as he tried to push all his worries away.
Germany would have enough time to feel bad later.