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Scars were something that never particularly bothered Katniss, well that was before the games. She had several small insignificant scars that resulted from falling, or a scrape or bruise here and there. The scars themselves had no meaning, Katniss couldn't even remember how she gained most of them. But after the games, after the war, she remembers how every scar became a part of her. How they have consumed her.
When she walks through the newly-rebuilt district 12, some look at her like she's a walking anomaly. She is in some ways, but the real reason they look at her is because of her scars. Katniss didn't used to be bothered by others judging her based on her appearance, in her eyes it isn't any of their business. She still thinks this, however, now her scars are a constant reminder. And others pointing the scars out just remind her of them.
A constant reminder of how she failed. Of her guilt. Of her trauma.
Of her little sister.
Of how she failed her, when she promised to protect her, When she promised she would always keep her safe.
So that's why she hates her scars. Not necessarily because they make her look bad, or skew her appearance. She hates them because she remembers vividly how she got them. She remembers them stabbing into her body the day she witnessed a little blonde girl with a braid, while attempting to help others, get killed in a war neither of them should have ever been a part of. A war Katniss unwillingly started.
This is another one of those awful days for Katniss, where she gets constant reminders from everyone. As she walks through the new Hob looking for someone to trade with, she sees new faces looking at her. Seeing the evidence of what the fire did to her body. When she sees them looking at her, once again, all she can see is the people she failed to save. The children who died. Finnick. Rue. Prim.
These thoughts begin to continuously consume her as she decides to head home with what little game she has. She didn't even end up trading it, she just couldn't take those people looking at her. At the scars. Reminding her of the scars, of what happened. Of her failure. Of her guilt. So she goes back to her home as quickly as she can with her head down, fighting a flow of tears from streaming down her face.
Once she gets home, she lets her game and bow fall to the ground with her, as she now allows the tears to stream freely down her face.
“Hey! How was-” Peeta says sweetly from the kitchen, stopping as soon as he sees her falling to the ground, hands covering her face.
Katniss doesn't hear him at all. She's consumed by her own thoughts. That she failed Rue. That she failed Finnick. That she failed all of those kids at the bombing. That she failed Prim.
The thoughts keep repeating and repeating until they entirely consume her. She sobs and sobs, and starts making those awful choking noises.
Suddenly, she feels something warm against her body. It brings her back to reality, breaks her from her current mental state. It doesn't stop the sobbing, or the awful thoughts, but the warmth and comfort from Peeta grounds her, and prevents the thoughts from consuming her mind. She leans into his touch, seeking out that warmth and comfort that only he can give her.
Peeta holds her as she continues to just sob. Softly speaking sweet nothings into her. Comforting her. She doesn't know if he specifically knows where her mind is right now, but he must have an idea because she begins to actually hear his words.
“It's alright Katniss. It wasn't your fault.” He murmurs softly into her ear as he rocks her, holding her gently. He then rubs her arms and her back, and she stops shaking. After a little while, she stops sobbing uncontrollably, but some tears still fall down her face
She drops one hand in her lap, the other finds Peeta’s and intertwines her hand with his. He gives her a comforting and reassuring squeeze. He then kisses her forehead gently. The feeling of him holding her and kissing her grounding her further, and relieves some of her grief and sadness. Because she knows she's not alone, and never will be again. Even though so many people in her life are dead or gone, Peeta has always come back to her. And will now never leave her. And she'll never leave him.
“Do you want to take off your jacket and boots?” Peeta asks softly. Katniss nods, slowly bending over to remove her boots while Peeta removes her jacket and places it, her bow and her game bag on the hooks right inside their house next to the front door. She begins to slowly take off one of her boots and hands it to Peeta, placing it under her jacket. She begins to slowly move towards the other boot until Peeta reaches it first.
“It's ok, I got it.” He says gently. Katniss nods and sighs softly and contently. The tears continue to stream down her cheeks, but there's less now than there was before. Once Peeta places both of her hunting boots together he helps her up. He continues to rub her shoulders and back and starts to gently kiss her scars.
“Do you want to go sit on the couch?” Peeta asks.
“Yeah.” Katniss says softly. They walk into the kitchen together, their hands still linked together. They sit together on the couch, hands still linked, while Peeta gently rubs his hand up and down her arm, still gently kissing her scars, giving her all the comfort and warmth she wants and needs. Soon, the thoughts in her head cease almost entirely, and her tears stop falling.
A little while after her tears subside and she begins to breathe normally, Peeta realizes that it's almost supper time.
“I'll go make some lamb stew, ok?” Peeta asks gently with concern in his eyes, hoping she'll be ok while he cooks their supper.
“Yeah, yeah I'll be fine.” Katniss says. She kisses him on the cheek. “I promise.” Peeta gives her a small gentle smile and untangles himself from her arms, heading into the kitchen to begin cooking.
After they're done eating, they sit on the couch with their now empty bowls, Katniss holding him and observing him as he draws. This helps her with her grief and sadness more, giving her something else to focus on. Eventually, she falls asleep in his arms, feeling warm, safe and at home. Peeta notices, and looks over and smiles. He begins to draw her as she is now. Even after her grief and sorrow tried to consume her, she has managed to find comfort and found a way to manage that grief and sorrow. With him.
When Peeta looks at her, even though in reality her hair is a mess and face is still red, all he can see is the strongest most beautiful woman he has ever known. Someone who managed to endure and fight through so much, and still manage to stay with him. To be there for him whenever he needs it. To still be able to love even after she’s been hurt so many times. She’s still Katniss, she always will be. He smiles. He still wonders how he got so lucky with her. Sometimes he wonders if this is real, that the Katniss Everdeen is really with him. That they’re together.
When she wakes, she notices him lovingly gazing at her with his beautiful blue eyes containing only love and adoration.
“What?” She says, allowing herself to smile a little
“It's just, did I tell you yet today that you're beautiful? More beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen?” Peeta says, smiling sweetly. Katniss doesn't understand how he can see her right now as beautiful. Her hair’s a mess, her face is red, she has bags under her eyes and she’s covered in burn scars. But, she knows that he's telling the truth. Somehow, right now, even now, after all this time, he still sees her as the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. She doesn't understand how she got so lucky to have him. To have someone as kind, loving and compassionate as him. For them to be together.
She allows for her smile to grow wider, and she leans into him and kisses him gently on the lips. She can feel both of them smiling as she does.
“I'm pretty sure you did this morning, but thank you. You're not so bad either.” Katniss says a little playful. Both of their smiles grow wider, and they lean into each other to kiss again. Once they break, she wraps her arms around him, resting her head on his chest to feel and hear his heartbeat. He kisses her forehead. Her grief and sadness from earlier, while never gone, has subsided to allow her to feel happiness.
“I love you.” He says gently into her hair, smiling.
“I love you too. Thanks for putting up with me. I'm sorry you always have to deal with me when I get like that.” Katniss says
“Katniss, I'm never ‘putting up’ with you. It is a reward to help you in any way I can, and it never has been and never will be your fault for any of this. I will do anything for you, wherever or whenever you need anything at all, I’ll be there for you, always.” Peeta says genuinely and sweetly. Katniss sighs happily into his chest. Peeta is the only person who can turn such an awful day into something so much better.
They lay like that on the couch for a while until they go upstairs to get ready for bed. As they both crawl into the covers, Katniss presses her back to Peeta’s stomach and he wraps her arms around her. They both have small smiles on their faces as they fall into a rare dreamless sleep.
While the grief and guilt of losing her sister and so many others will never go away, there are days where it is easier, and other days where it is harder to deal with. However, no matter the day, Peeta is always the one to comfort her like no one else has ever been able to, and she knows that as long as they’re together they will be able to get through anything. They stand and stay together, to be there for each other, always.