Work Text:
You're at a party with the boy you're in love with.
He doesn't know you love him. You dont think youll ever tell him. You're in the kitchen drinking water in a red solo cup, he's staring into your eyes laughing and grabbing your wrist, he's telling you to loosen up, dance, but you're frozen. The boy you're in love with is holding your wrist and digging dagger into you with his emerald eyes. You can't think clearly. You rip your wrist out of his grip and fumble some excuse about drinking too much (you haven't touched any alcohol, you're afraid) and run to the bathroom.
You're at a party with the boy you're in love with and you just ran away at his attempt to get you to have fun. You're at a party with the boy you love and you're puking in the bathroom because he touched you instead of partying. You hear quiet knocks at the door, you pray to the god you're supposed to believe in that it's not him. You hear another knock. you wipe your puke off your face and pull your mask back up. The door opens. Did you forget to lock it? You were in a rush. You look up and see white hair and emerald eyes. He walks towards you with a worried look. You can't breathe. He's a foot away and you haven't moved since the door opened. You're at a party with the boy you love and he just walked in on you after puking. “Hey lets go ok? This party isn't fun anyway” you know that isn't true, based on the way he was laughing with his friends and dancing and playing party games earlier. He looks at you with a reassured look anyway. He has his hand out. You grab his wrist and pull yourself up. You immediately let go once you're standing. He grabs your wrist and starts running to the door, he's smiling.
He lets go of your wrist once you get to his car. You sit in the passenger seat, you stay quiet. You don't ask where you're going. Your brain feels like static. You feel him tap your shoulder. You didnt realise the car had stopped. You look up. You're at your favourite diner. Did he remember you saying that? Or is it just a coincidence? You assume the latter despite what you want to be the truth.
You're at your favourite diner with the boy you love and you haven't spoken to him in what feels like 3 hours but is most likely just 1. He orders for you. He gets you what you always get. Did he remember that? It seems unlikely to be a coincidence but you think it is. You feel your phone buzz and check it. Its him. You give him a confused look and feel your phone buzz again. You read the messages. ‘You ok?’ ‘you haven't spoken in an hour, assumed you'd prefer texting’ you decide to respond with a simple ‘i’m fine’. He doesn't need to know that the reason you haven't spoken is because you're in love with him. He grabs your arm. You didn't realise you were scratching your arm. You pull your sleeve down. He can't see your scars. Your phone buzzes. ‘Y'know i wont judge you for anything right?’. Did he see? He must've. Another buzz. ‘Want me to drop you home?’. You respond with a blunt ‘yes’.
You're halfway there when he grabs your arm again. Scratching again. Except he keeps holding your arm. And now he's holding your hand. You can't breathe. You can't even run this time.