Work Text:
"Thank You for Saving Me"
Here Jisung is, in his room, sitting down on his bed at 12 noon. Knife in his right hand, as he was about to harm himself, one of his members start to open the door. This member was none other than Felix. Jisung starts panicking. "What? My dumbass self couldn't even remember to lock the door?!" is what went through the boy's mind.
Jisung, knife still in his hand, hears someone trying to open the door. "Or... Maybe I had locked it..."
That thought quickly slipped through his mind when he heard the doorknob rotate. Felix's smile immediately turned to a worried frown when he saw Jisung.
Felix: "Are you doing what I think you are about to be doing?..."
Jisung: "About to be doing..."
Felix rushed toward the other's side. He takes the knife gently.
Felix: "Hey..." he says while rubbing Jisung's shoulder.
Jisung: "Can you close the door and lock it?"
The slightly younger one follows the older one and locks the door. He completely forgot to even just close the door when he saw Jisung. After closing and locking the door, he goes back to Jisung's side, knife still in hand.
Felix: "Can you tell me what's going through your head? Surely I can help, right?" The boy's voice starts getting into a much more worried tone.
Silence started to fill the room.
Jisung: "It's just that I'm stressed. That's all."
Felix: "Stressed enough to do this? Come on, Ji. Tell me everything!" He says with a worried tone, placing the knife to his side.
The boy hugs Jisung tightly. "Please tell me what's going on. I'll listen to everything." Yet, the other's eyes are fixed on that knife.
Jisung: "..."
Felix: "Ji... We're all worried. The members, your family, Stay... Shit, maybe even Bbama." He says, hugging him even tighter.
Jisung: "Lately, I've been getting a lot of hate."
Felix: "What type of hate?"
Jisung: "Not only from Stay, from our boss, my family and all that."
Jisung says hugging him back.
Felix: "What are they saying?"
Jisung: "Oh, I don't know. Just things like telling me to kill myself or that I'm untalented. That's all."
Felix: "Oh..."
Jisung: "I ignored it at first, then it got worse and all the hate comments started piling up. And, I guess all of it just started getting into my head which is how we ended up here."
Felix: "I'm sure those people are just a bunch of dumbasses! They have no life and decided to hate on you because they don't know what better thing to do."
Jisung: "Not only that."
Felix: "What else?"
The other stays silent for a while then says "I think it's best if I just stay alone for now." Felix doesn't respond to that and respects his decision.
"I'll bring the knife with me. Do not hurt yourself, please." He says with a begging voice then gets up and leaves the room. This time remembering to close the door on his way out.
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"What should I do?... Poor Ji." He goes to the kitchen and returns the knife. Surprisingly, he found Chan.
With his left hand, he had his phone. He was watching some videos. On his right hand, he had an apple which was almost finished. "Hey, Chan." The boy says with an uplift tone.
Chan: "Hey."
Felix: "Can we talk about Jisung?"
Chan: "Oh, yeah."
He says then shuts off his phone and takes the very last bite of the apple.
Felix: "Do you know anything about what's going on with him? I'm really worried about him."
Chan: "To be honest with you, Lix, no."
Felix: "Mmm"
Chan: "All I know is that he hasn't been eating lately."
Felix: "What?!"
Chan: "What?"
He couldn't believe his ears. Jisung had told him he has been eating.
Felix: "Jisung told me he had been eating!" He says with both a worried voice and face.
Chan: "Probably just to not make you worried."
Felix: "Oh, I guess so. Makes sense, I guess."
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Felix is outside of Seungmin's room. Surprisingly, for once, Jeongin wasn't there. It didn't really matter though, Felix wasn't there for Jeongin.
Felix started knocking on the door and said "It's me, Felix!", "Come in!" The other shouted back.
He entered then closed the door and said "So uh..."
Seungmin: "Jeongin's not here if you're wondering, by the way."
Felix: "Oh, yeah. Noticed."
Seungmin was lying down on his bed. It seemed like he was sleeping. The older started wondering if he had woken the other up from his sleep.
Seungmin: "You can lay down if you want."
Felix goes up to his bed and just sits down.
Felix: "Jisung's been having a bad state of mind lately. I wanna do something for him to just get those awful thoughts out of his head."
Seungmin: "Also, do you know if he ate anything yet?"
Felix: "No... Chan said he hasn't eaten. Maybe he means he just hasn't eaten today."
Seungmin then turns around to see Felix and sighs.
Seungmin: "Not sure if Jisung wants you to know about this, but he didn't eat anything for the past few weeks I think."
Felix: "WHAT?!"
Seungmin: "Wait, wait, no he did. Like 5 spoons of rice."
Felix: "AND YOU'RE JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW?!"
Seungmin was too tired for this all this screaming, shouting and shit.
Seungmin: "Yeah."
Felix: "So, wait. It's not like you guys knew about this behind my back and decided to not tell me, right?"
Once again, silence.
Seungmin: "We all knew about this. We all knew about him not eating and he had already told us he felt like killing himself. We tried to tell him not to... Yet..."
Felix: "Yet what?!"
Seungmin: "He just snaps at us and says "Ugh, whatever! I'll do it whether you like it or not!" And starts getting angry."
Felix: "Is there... More?"
Seungmin: "He keeps saying to not tell you about this."
Felix: "Why not?!"
Seungmin looks at him with a sort of confused and pissed face.
Seungmin: "We all know you really well, Felix. We know you can be a worrier at times like this."
Felix: "You guys really didn't try to stop him?..."
Seungmin: "We did! But then, we came to the conclusion that he probably wasn't going to go through it. Knowing him, he's too scared to do all the suicide things..."
Felix: "..."
Seungmin: "We knew he'd come around at some point, but most definitely would not do that."
The silence was loud.
Felix: "Back to my question earlier..."
Seungmin: "Yeah?"
Felix: "Maybe I can try to remove those thoughts. What do you think I can do?"
Seungmin: "Maybe buy him some cheesecake? Or better yet, make him cheesecake. He really likes the things you bake, Lix."
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Felix spent hours, upon hours making cheesecake in their kitchen. Took him about 3 hours of baking. And about 30 more minutes for washing, cleaning and returning the utensils and the tools.
And voilà!
Felix had made some cheesecake. He's tempted to take a bite, but he keeps telling himself it's for Jisung and decides not to and have some willpower over himself.
To think about it, after that one talk with Jisung, he hadn't really seen him. Felix was starting to get worried with that thought. So worried to the point he started to feel goosebumps.
Felix gets a clean, silver spoon from the kitchen drawer and placed the spoon on the same plate as the cheesecake.
The cheesecake is placed on a small, clean, dainty and white plate. Next to the delicious delicacy was some chocolate drizzle.
Felix had taken inspiration of putting a drizzle because the photo in the recipe he saw online had one. He basically just used some chocolate syrup.
Not gonna lie, Felix was pretty proud of himself. He never made cheesecake in his life so the fact he did this quite well on the first try was very impressive.
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Felix holds the plate on his left hand. With his free hand, he knocks on Jisung's door. "It's me, Felix!"
Jisung doesn't respond, so Felix decides to just open the door. He found Jisung asleep in his bed, like a cute little baby.
Felix closes the door and places the cheesecake on a desk. He goes to the sleeping boy and cuddles him close. He kisses his neck softly and lightly.
Jisung groans a little making Felix think he's awake. "Ji?"
Surprisingly, he groans louder and yawns while stretching his arms out. "Hmm?", " Oh, you're awake!"
"Yep." He then hugs Felix back, pulls him close and brings Felix up to kiss him. More like a peck than a kiss. "I made you something"
Jisung: "Really? What?" He says intrigued.
Felix: "I made you some cheesecake. I hope you'll like it!"
Jisung sits up from his bed.
Jisung: "Where is it exactly?" He says, still half-asleep.
Felix: "On your desk. Let me go get it for you!"
Jisung: "Ohhh~!" Now realizing where it was.
Felix brings it towards Jisung and says "Hope you like it!", " As long as you make it, I'll love it." The older says with a cheeky voice and face.
He takes the first bite.
Felix: "You look cute." He points out.
Jisung: "I'm sorry?" He says sort of laughing.
Felix: "You look so cute! Just like a Quokka."
Jisung chuckles it off. "Thanks for making this for me, babe." He says while continuing to dig in.
Felix started staring at Jisung's chest. He had no shirt on and was just wearing some boxers.
Jisung: "Like what you see?"
Felix blushes.
Felix: "Damn, I made it that obvious?" He says smiling.
Jisung: "Eye-fucking me or something?"
Felix: "No, you bastard."
Jisung: "Come closer. Let me kiss you."
Felix goes closer to Jisung's side. He kisses the younger one's head.
Felix: "Mmm~."
Jisung: "Want some?" Taking a spoonful of cheesecake and handing it next to Felix's mouth.
Felix opens his mouth and swallows it whole.
Felix: "Wait, damn. It tastes good."
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Jisung then puts the spoon on the plate once he finishes eating and places it on his nightstand. He then lays back on his bed. He sort of pulls Felix with him because he has arm wrapped around his waist.
Jisung sighs.
Jisung: "Once again, thank you for making the cheesecake, Lix." He says smiling.
Felix: "Of course!" Placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
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The two are still resting on Jisung's bed. No words are needed to be said. The silence was nice and sweet.
Until, someone broke the silence to speak up about something he's been keeping for a long time.
Jisung: "Hey, Lix. Can I tell you something?"
Felix: "You can tell me anything."
Jisung looks at Felix who is resting on his chest.
Jisung: "I can't imagine my life without you..."
Felix looks up at the older one, smiling like an absolute sunshine.
Felix: "I can't imagine mine without you either..."
There was silence yet again. It was sweeter, calmer and peaceful. A sort of feeling that was hard for the two to explain.
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It was now around a week later from that moment. Felix was sleeping next to Jisung in his room. Jisung was the first to wake up. He kisses his lover's forehead and whispers "Sleepyhead."
Jisung gets up and goes to the standing mirror he had in his room. It was at the corner of his room, next to his desk and the window.
The boy looks at the mirror. He sees his lover resting on his bed behind him. "Damn, I love you" He whispers to himself. The boys then smiles. "You are my reason to live, Lix... Thank you..."
He says smiling.
"Thank you for saving me."
Whenever he looked at Felix, he saw an angel. An archangel. It was just the personality he had.
Truth is, Jisung never thought he was capable of love. That was... Until he met Felix. Jisung has experienced all types of people. Yet, somehow, just somehow... He hasn't met a single person like Felix. He was just too precious to let go of.
Even though to Jisung, Felix wasn't his first love, Felix will most definitely be his last.
To Felix, Jisung was his first love, yet he hoped he would be his last.
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Yes, even though it is true that Felix had fell first, nonetheless...
Jisung had fallen harder.
Fin