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Astarion’s thumb traced the edge of a hole in the blanket he held in his arms. Calling it a blanket was generous really; filthy old rag was a more apt descriptor. It was thin and tattered, not to mention ugly. But it had been one of his few possessions in the world beyond the clothes on his back; he couldn’t quite bear to part with it.
Astarion sighed as he leaned back in his kneeled position. Life now was certainly better than it had been prior to his little tadpole adventure. He had a fiance that loved him and that he loved in turn, and a safe place to live. Yet, a month had passed since arriving in Waterdeep, and a feeling of discontent had grown inside him.
The first few tendays had been fine; he had been too preoccupied with acclimating to life in Waterdeep to notice anything seemed wrong. But as both he and Gale had settled into a routine, the cracks began to reveal themselves. For as nice as living in Gale’s home was, Astarion at times felt… off as he walked through the tower’s rooms. And therein perhaps lied a piece to the puzzle; even in his own mind he would refer to it as Gale’s home, not his home or even their home. He felt like a stranger in what was supposed to be his home.
Astarion did notice that this off feeling was lessened whenever he was in Gale’s presence. Gale was so warm and inviting, and his love so all encompassing. How could he not feel welcomed? But Gale had his own errands to run during the daytime, and with no way yet for Astarion to protect himself from the harsh rays of the sun, there were times he’d find himself alone in the tower. Sometimes Tara would provide companionship when she wasn’t out and about, but most often it was his own thoughts that kept him company.
Exploring Waterdeep’s nightlife, at least, had provided a good outlet for his restlessness from his daytime confinement. The times where he was able to drag Gale into his nighttime antics were especially gratifying. But it still did not lessen the overall discontent he felt in the tower.
Astarion’s ears perked up as he heard footsteps approach the bedroom. He replaced the blanket into the drawer and closed it just as the door opened. He turned around to see Gale at the entryway.
“There you are, my love,” Gale said as he walked forward. His steps slowed as he reached Astarion, and his brow furrowed as he took in the scene. “Is everything alright?”
Putting on an affectation of ease, Astarion rose to his feet and said, “Why, nothing is the matter, my dear. I was simply putting away clothes.”
Gale’s head tilted as he said, “I get the feeling that you aren’t telling the truth, love.” Gale raised a hand to stroke Astarion’s cheek. “Please, be honest with me.”
Astarion was about to persist in his lie, but a thought came to him and the words were caught in his throat. If he could not be open about this with Gale, then this marriage was doomed before it had even begun.
Astarion’s eyes didn’t quite meet Gale’s gaze as he raised his hand to cover Gale’s own, grounding himself. “Lately, I’ve just been feeling off. Please know that I am grateful to be sharing this life with you, but I’ve realized I hold no fondness for this tower. I walk its halls as if I were an intruder, and I know this is supposed to be our home together, but it does not yet feel like my own home.”
Gale was attentive as he listened to Astarion. His brows were furrowed in thought after Astarion finished as he took a moment to form a response. “Hmm, I see your predicament now, and may I say that I am truly sorry that I did not notice your discomfort until now. As for how we can remedy the situation, I believe I might have an idea on how to start.”
Gale slowly moved his hands to pull Astarion into a loose embrace. “This tower could use some redecorating, don’t you think? And there’s no better place than Waterdeep’s Market to shop for all manner of goods. What say the two of us put that pile of gold we earned from our adventure to good use on a little shopping trip once the sun sets? How does that sound?”
Astarion’s lips quirked up into a smile as he looked into Gale’s eyes. “I do quite like the sound of that, darling.”
~~~
“Gale, if you do not step away from those horrid drapes right this instant, I will toss you off the docks.”
Said man startled as he pulled his hand back from the silky material, and he looked up at Astarion, eyes wide and mouth agape.
“I was simply admiring the beautiful textile work,” Gale said after he recaptured his composure, “and besides, what precisely is your issue with them?”
Astarion cast a sidelong glance towards the drapes. He squinted at the most eye-searing hue of violet he’d ever had the displeasure to look upon. His gaze turned back towards Gale, and he gave him a withering look. Gale’s expression turned sheepish under the look as he awkwardly shifted his feet. He then turned to look at the other items for sale, away from the offending drapes. Having sufficiently cowed Gale, Astarion returned to browsing the set of goods in front of him.
The market stall they were at was filled to the brim with all sorts of fabric in just about every color and pattern Astarion could imagine. From delicate, plain yellows to vibrant greens with geometric patterns. Astarion’s eyes lingered on two sets of curtains; one set was a deep red with gold leafy brocade and velvety to the touch, and the other a royal blue with a white pattern of wavy intersecting lines.
Gale, having noticed Astarion’s interest, walked up beside him and considered the curtains. “Those do look rather nice, the red one would suit our bedroom, and the blue ones could go in the kitchen,” Gale said. “But perhaps my sense of taste is far too appalling for someone of your grand status.”
Astarion snorted and playfully bumped his shoulder into Gale’s. “Your sense of taste is fine, darling. Most of the time anyway; your tolerance for all shades of purple needs fine tuning.”
Gale rolled his eyes but could not stop his lips from curling into a smile. “If you say so.”
Astarion turned his attention back to business and called out to the vendor, “My good man, how much for these?”
The vendor looked up from his bookkeeping, glanced at the curtains in question, and said, “seven silver.”
Astarion pursed his lips. “four silver.”
Another round of haggling passed until the two came to an accord. Satisfied, Astarion offered up the agreed upon price, and handed the curtains to Gale who opened up their bag of holding to stow them away. Purchases now secured, Gale offered up his arm to Astarion, who linked it with his own, and off they went.
Night had descended upon the market, but the light of the lanterns all around bathed the area in a cozy glow. As the couple strolled down the street, arms linked together, throngs of other market-goers swept past them. They were inundated by noise as vendors advertised their goods and the other patrons of the market held conversations amongst themselves. The Market of Waterdeep was no less busy during the night as it was during the day.
Autumn had officially come to Waterdeep, and its presence was made known by the chill in the air. A strong gust of wind blew through the market, buffeting Astarion and Gale, and the chill seeped through their cloaks. Astarion felt Gale shiver beside him as he pulled his cloak closer to himself. While the chill passed through Astarion without much effect, he burrowed further into Gale’s side, seeking comfort in the warmth the other man radiated. Gale laughed and he turned his head to nuzzle his face into Astarion’s cheek. Astarion leaned into the sensation of Gale’s beard rubbing against him.
Gale pulled back and with a playful lilt to his voice said, “I know I said The Market was a fine place for us to spend our savings, but it would be prudent to keep in mind that we do still have a wedding to plan.”
Astarion hummed as he made a mental tally of all that they’d bought. So far, they’d purchased a few rugs, two vases, some decorative pillows, multiple scented candles, various books, a tapestry, and just now the curtains. They’d left the tower as soon as the sun had set, and they had managed to hit a number of shops and stalls before dusk had turned to night.
Astarion then smirked as he said, “Well if coin is a concern, I could always put my old talents to good use.”
Gale barked out a laugh. “I’d rather not have to persuade the guards to free you after you’ve been caught.”
Astarion raised a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Your lack of faith in me is appalling, my dear! To think I’d get caught so easily.”
Gale shook his head with a smile but did not reply. They continued to walk through the market, eyeing the various carts and stalls for anything else of interest. Astarion was tugged to a stop as Gale came to a sudden halt; his attention drawn to something. Astarion looked at Gale inquisitively before turning to search for what had caught Gale’s attention. His eyes scanned the buildings at the edge of the market before they settled on the front of a bakery with a stall off to the side. The bakery was still open at this hour, and it appeared they had a stall set up for quick service.
“I do feel a bit peckish. I don’t suppose you’d mind us stopping by there?” Gale asked.
“Not at all, darling,” Astarion said, “far be it from me to deny you your hunger.”
As the pair approached, the woman working the stall noticed them as she waved off her last customer. “Well hello there, gentlemen! What can I interest you in?”
Astarion looked down at the assortment of pastries and bread. While he could not partake in such treats, the scent of freshly baked goods was still pleasant to take in. Gale’s eyes wandered over the array before they came to rest on some pastries in the shape of half circles. Gale pointed towards them, prompting the vendor to speak up.
“Oh, those are a new creation of ours, cheese pies! They’re a savory pastry with a cheese filling. We’re selling them for three coppers each!”
Gale nodded as he reached into his pocket for the coppers. “I’ll take just one; my partner isn’t one for pastries.”
The vendor nodded and handed over the pastry in exchange for the coppers. As they departed the stall, Gale took a bite of the pastry and let out a hum of satisfaction. Astarion picked up the scent of melted cheese and parsley as it wafted through the air. Astarion watched Gale eat for a moment before a thought entered his head.
“You know,” Astarion said as he nosed into Gale’s neck, “I think I deserve a treat as well, don’t you agree?”
Gale’s eyes squeezed shut as a fit of laughter overcame him, and he arched his neck away from the touch. One eye peeked open to peer down at Astarion.
“Not out here among so many prying eyes!” Gale said between giggles. “Perhaps if you remain on your best behavior, there might be something waiting for you back home.”
Astarion pouted but ultimately relented, although not before pressing a kiss to Gale’s neck. “Oh, alright, but I am holding you to that promise.”
Gale’s laughter finally subsided and he bit into the pastry again. They continued onwards for a while as they maneuvered through the milling crowd. They eventually stopped at a cart filled with different bedding material. Astarion figured buying another quilt or two for the upcoming winter wouldn’t hurt. He spent a few minutes admiring the variety of designs before settling on one. He looked up to ask for Gale’s opinion but stopped short when he realized he was not present. Bewildered, Astarion turned around to scan the crowd for Gale, eyes narrowed as his gaze swept across many faces.
His eyes finally landed on the back of Gale’s head, facing towards a stall that appeared to be selling various trinkets. Shoulders slumping in relief, Astarion strode over to join him. The joke he was about to make died on his lips as he spotted the object that had lured Gale away. Placed at the center of the stall was an idol of Mystra.
Astarion recalled the idol of Mystra that had once resided in Gale’s study. After his final meeting with Mystra to deliver the Crown, Gale had not felt it right to keep such a token. His earring was one thing, but the idol felt like too much. However, he was unsure on how to proceed.
Astarion had suggested to just smash the thing and be done with it, good riddance. But Gale had become conflicted at the suggestion, and ultimately the idol had been moved to a storage closet instead. On the occasion that Astarion would open the closet to retrieve some item, his eyes would meet those of the idol. He’d then scoff, eyes filled with contempt, and unceremoniously close the closet door. But if it was Gale’s will to end up keeping the bloody thing, so be it; who was he to come between a man and his goddess, he thought bitterly.
This practice had continued over the course of a tenday, until one day Astarion had opened the closet door only to be met with an assortment of random trinkets, blankets, and cleaning supplies. The idol was nowhere in sight. Puzzled, he’d asked Gale where it had gone, and was told that he'd donated it to the House of Wonder. Astarion had left the issue at that.
Astarion walked up to Gale’s side and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Is something the matter?”
Gale blinked as he was pulled from his thoughts, and he turned his head to look at Astarion. “Ah! My apologies, it seems I was lost in thought,” Gale said as his eyes strayed back to the idol.
Astarion’s eyes searched Gale’s face for any further clue into his thoughts but came up short. He slid his hand down Gale’s arm to intertwine their hands. “Would you like to talk about those thoughts?”
Gale considered for a moment before he said, “My feelings regarding Mystra have changed over time yet remain ever complex. Knowing everything that I do now, I can see where I went wrong and how I was wronged as well, but I suppose I shall just have to be content with both of us having parted on good terms.
“But something else has been weighing on my mind, regarding something that she told me before we parted. She said that my life was my own at last, and that it was time I went and lived it,” Gale said as his head tipped down in thought. “However, between the volatility of the orb and then Mystra’s decree, for much of our adventure, I did not truly believe I’d survive past our enemy’s defeat. And so I never really concerned myself with serious plans for the future.”
A wan smile grew on Gale’s face as he turned to look at Astarion. “I have you to thank for bringing me back from the brink, and for that I am eternally grateful. I know that I want you to remain by my side now and forever, but beyond that I seem to have found myself adrift.”
“It seems we’re both in the same boat,” Astarion said and a humorless chuckle fell from his lips. Astarion then squeezed his hand as he met Gale’s eyes and said, “But we’ve made it this far together, conquering impossible odds before. Surely, we can figure out something as mundane as what to do with our lives, now that they’re our own.”
The smile on Gale’s face strengthened. “You might just be right.”
“Aren’t I always, darling?”
A yawn overtook Gale as he rolled his shoulders back. “Well, I think we’ve shopped enough for one night. I think it’s about time we returned home,” Gale said. He then grinned at Astarion. “I also do believe that I made a certain promise earlier that I fully intend to keep.”
Astarion returned the grin and leaned closer. “I can scarcely wait, my dear.”
Hand in hand, they walked back towards their home. For once, a warm rush filled Astarion at the thought of it being their home, which livened his pace. The outing had worked to inspire some fond feelings for the tower, and Astarion was looking forward to the actual redecorating; to leaving his mark on their home.
He pushed away pesky thoughts about life plans and what the future held in store. Such matters could be deliberated on at a later date. After all, they had all the time in the world now to figure that out together.