Chapter Text
They arrived at the temple, exhausted, bruised and filthy. Taigen felt his spirits lift at the sight of it, he was almost certain it was the one he remembered. He helped Mizu pull the cart with Fowler to one corner of the main room, then dropped his pack near the hearth and strode on through the weathered wooden door at the back.
He let out a shout of triumph, “Mizu! In here!”
He was already peeling off his robes as Mizu entered, piling them in a heap to wash later. He glanced back at Mizu, “Water’s warm too,” he said as he splashed down into the small pool and then settled himself in, closing his eyes in bliss.
Getting only silence from his companion, he spoke again without opening his eyes. “Mizu, you stink. Get in.”
He heard Mizu clear his throat, “I’m hungry,” he replied gruffly. “I'll make us some dinner and bathe afterwards.” Then Taigen heard the sound of the door creak open and close once more.
Taigen opened his eyes, staring after the shut door, a strange ache of disappointment in his chest. He considered the feeling hesitantly and almost at once was hit with a memory of the feel of Mizu’s laughing breath on his face, his body pinned to the floor. Taigen sucked in a breath, shaking his head to clear it. He stretched out his arms and legs, telling himself he liked the space to himself.
His thoughts quickly stole back to Mizu. Was Mizu avoiding him? Perhaps due to the same memory.
Taigen snorted, brushing aside the creeping worry as ridiculous. He imagined the two of them in the pool together, both relaxed and enjoying each other's company. He could ask Mizu more about his training or his time learning under the swordmaker.
Taigen realized idly that he had not yet seen Mizu naked. Ringo had done all of the nursing when Mizu was injured before. Was that intentional? Did Mizu hide some other mark on his body that showed his demon heritage? Taigen thought of Mizu’s strange eyes and wondered what it could be.
Mizu was much leaner than Taigen, but that was not unusual, few men were more muscular than he, Taigen thought proudly, and Mizu was quick rather than powerful. Taigen imagined that he could overpower Mizu in a battle of strength if given the chance. He remembered again the look of surprise on Mizu’s face when Taigen had tackled him, before Mizu had twisted under him and sent them tussling across the floor.
His smile at the memory faded as he felt a pressure in his groin. He glanced at the door again, this time grateful that Mizu was not there. It had been a long time since the afternoon with Akemi, Taigen thought defensively. He reached down to provide himself release, and imagined Akemi above him whispering words of victory.
********
He returned to the main room, water dripping from his hair onto his robe, making it cling to his shoulders. He hung his travel cloak and other clothes on a ledge near the fire, soaked from being washed in the pool.
“You might want to give it a bit more time in there before going in, my clothes were filthy,” he said companionably. “If you’re still working on dinner, I could do your clothes too.”
Mizu glanced up at him and favored him with the quirk of a smile, “It’s okay, I’ll do it myself after I bathe. Dinner is almost ready.”
Taigen relaxed near the fire, enjoying the heat on his aching muscles. He considered. The Shogun was murdered. Akemi was lost to him. Edo was burnt to the ground. Fowler, though drugged and tied in the cart, was still alive. His own body was still healing from the countless beatings he’d received in the past weeks. So many awful things, but somehow, in this moment, he was wholly content. He glanced over at Mizu as he heard the slosh of stew being ladled into a bowl.
He accepted the proffered bowl and rummaged in his bag for his chopsticks. The stew was thin, mostly root vegetables with small bits of a stringy hare Mizu had caught in a snare the previous night, but it was hot and seasoned by hunger. Taigen ate greedily, checking the pot for more when he’d finished.
Taigen noticed that Mizu was still eating and held off serving himself seconds in case Mizu wanted more as well.
“Thanks for the stew,” he said, settling back to his spot by the fire. “It was very good.”
Mizu snorted, but smiled briefly at the compliment anyways.
“About the other day…” Taigen started. “I'm sorry again if I made you uncomfortable. And the baths just now… I mean… I just wanted to say that you have nothing to worry about from me.” He finished lamely, glancing over to Mizu to gauge his reaction.
Mizu was looking at him and smiling openly, mischief in his eyes. “I wasn't worried,” he said. “You’ve yet to show yourself to be any kind of threat.”
Taigen sputtered, “I was being serious!”
“So was I,” Mizu grinned. Taigen grinned back despite himself. He gauged the distance between them, the location of the pot and fire. He saw Mizu tense and set aside his bowl, still smiling but slightly wary. Taigen was far more relaxed after the bath, but something about the challenge and invitation in Mizu’s face still caused a fluttering in his gut. He checked himself.
“You still stink.” he said instead. “Go get your bath and I’ll clean up here.”
Mizu acknowledged the point scored with another snort, the quirk of a smile returning. “I will,” he said. Then he looked away, his face still relaxed but all mischief gone. “I would appreciate my privacy though.”
Taigen nodded, feeling strangely hurt. He had lost Mizu’s trust after all. The hurt deepened when he heard the sound of the door being braced from the other side. Contentment gone, he scowled at the pot as he emptied it into his bowl, finishing the stew and then heading outside to rinse the pot downstream from the shrine and collect more firewood.
**************
Mizu settled her sleeping roll a reasonable distance from where Taigen had laid out his. He had been moody and quiet since she came back from the bathing pool and she hadn't known what to say to lighten the mood.
She lay awake listening to his breathing steady and deepen into the rhythm of sleep. When she was sure he was asleep, she shifted onto her side and watched his chest rise and fall.
How long could she travel with him before he discovered she was a woman? He sensed it already, she guessed, without understanding what he knew. What would happen if she never told him? What would happen if she did?
You'll lose him, a small voice said. He already thinks you are a demon. You’ll be a monster to him too.
I don't have him now, she responded to the voice. I can't have him. She pictured him pinned beneath her as he was that day, his eyes searching hers. She imagined if she had pressed her lips to his instead of releasing him. If he had pulled her close and kissed her back. He was so close now, beautiful in sleep. She let out a long breath and rolled onto her back, staring up into the dark.
She wondered what he would have done if she had stripped down beside him and joined him in the pool. It was easy to picture his face, mouth gapped like a fish, incredulous. It brought a smile to her face just as the memory of his naked body brought a flush back to her cheeks.
She feel into uneasy dreamless sleep, unaware the the steady rhythm of Taigen’s breathing had gone quiet and that she was the one being watched in the flickering light of the dying fire.
*************
“THIS is your plan!?!” Taigen shouted shaking the crumpled boat charter between them.
They had reached the coast and had been in the village a few days, taking turns watching Fowler and heading out to buy provisions. Mizu had shared Fowler's purse with Taigen, but had evidently held back the purses of the other men he’d killed to afford the passage.
“It's the way to reach the men I'm sworn to kill,” Mizu said defensively, “Fowler told me they are in London.”
“And you just believe him? You just hop on a boat to a strange country with a strange language at the word of a lying, treacherous ....”
Mizu cut him off, “He doesn't deliver, I kill him and search for myself. I have their names now.”
“And how do you even get back!!? This is by far the stupidest plan you've had and your other “plans” have been little more than suicide.”
“If they are both there, it doesn't matter,” the other man grumbled.
“It matters to me!” Taigen shouted at him.
“You’re so hung up on your stupid duel!” Mizu shouted back. “What does any of it matter now??”
“I don't care about the duel!” Taigen returned, anger rising. “I care about you! Does your life mean nothing to you?!”
Mizu looked at him, momentarily stunned. Taigen used the other man’s distraction to close the distance between them, grabbing the front of his robe and pinning him to the wall. Taigen braced, ready for Mizu to attempt to break his hold.
Mizu looked away. “Let me go,” he said quietly.
“No! Listen to me,” Taigen said.
“I don’t need your permission, Taigen.” Mizu tested his grip and Taigen braced further.
“Those men are gone," Taigen started again. "You don’t even know if they are still alive. Kill Fowler and be done.” Mizu shifted again and Taigen moved with him to maintain his hold. “Return the boat charter. We could return to Edo together, use the money to help Edo rebuild. We could start our own dojo - men would flock to learn to fight like you do. We could have wives, have families, have a life. We could make sure Master Eiji is taken care of, let him retire in comfort. Help Ringo set up his noodle shop. Don’t you owe them that much?”
Mizu looked at him. His gaze was intense. She would not be able to break out of his hold without hurting him much worse than she wanted to. Impulsively, she changed course. She jumped and wrapped her legs around him. The sudden weight threw him off balance and he staggered into her, catching himself on the wall with his free hand. His face was inches from hers. She leaned forward and kissed him.
She pulled back before he did. The kiss had the desired effect. His eyes were wide, his face stunned. Before she could take the advantage and pull free of his hold, he let go of her robe, his hand traveling up to cup her cheek, then his mouth was on hers again.
She was lost in the kiss, his breath on her mouth, his body against hers. Every nerve was aflame. She thought about the picture he had painted. She could find a woman willing to keep her secret in exchange for security, she could stay with Taigen and Ringo, provide for swordfather. She brought her arms up around his neck, her weight fully supported by him, her back against the wall. The kiss had become as much as trap for her as it had been for him. She broke the kiss and their eyes met again, his face was flushed, bewilderment mixed with desire. “That’s a beautiful image,” she said, then used the leverage of her arms to pull her weight off of him and drop, shifting out of his hold. She grabbed the boat charter where it had floated forgotten to the floor and was out the door without looking back. She did not hear the sounds of him following.
******************
Fowler had already been loaded into the boat. She checked on him, tested the door which held him. The last round of drugs would be wearing off soon but she could let him wake if he was secure.
Taigen had not followed. Mizu watched the brown line of shoreline for a while as it grew distant, then paced to the other side of the ship where she could see nothing but the blue of sea and sky.
*************
A short while later, a commotion attracted her attention and she saw a sailor hurrying towards her.
“Sir!” He said. “There is a man in a fishing boat asking to board. He says he’s with you.”
Taigen.
“Show me,” she said.
***************
Taigen’s arms ached from rowing. It had been much more difficult than he imagined to catch up with the larger ship. He did not know if he would make it back to land if they did not let him board.
Then Mizu appeared and approved the order for a rope ladder to be lowered to him. Taigen flushed as he saw him, but squared his shoulders and climbed the ladder with as much dignity as he could muster.
“Taigen,” Mizu said, his voice sounding resigned.
“You need someone to keep you alive.” Taigen said, avoiding his eyes. “Ringo’s back in Kohama taking care of Master Eiji, so I guess this time it has to be me.”
********************************
Mizu joined Taigen in her chambers later. They sized each other up.
Mizu broke the silence. “I’m sorry about the kiss,” she said finally.
Taigen flushed dark and looked away. “No, I’m sorry... I thought… I…” He trailed off. “I did realize eventually that it was just a trick.”
Mizu tilted her head. “Oh?”
Taigen looked over, the red in his face deepening, “When we were… you weren’t… you were against me and there was nothing. And that’s okay. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but we can just forget it all. I won’t do anything like that again. I’ll give you your space.”
Mizu repeated, “There wasn’t…?” Then paused, “Oh… Oh.” She started to laugh, incredulous. “And that’s what you realized….” she said, seemingly to herself.
Taigen shifted uncomfortably, not understanding Mizu’s reaction.
Mizu’s mirth finally subsided. “You’re an idiot Taigen,” she said. “And not just for following me here. But an idiot that I care about. I can’t pretend I’m not glad you’re here. We’ll give each other space, but you don’t need to feel awkward about us. It wasn't your fault. Everything is okay.”
**********
Taigen paced outside Fowler’s cell.
Fowler regarded him with interest as he approached. “You again? How many times do I have to kill you before you stay dead?”
Taigen ignored his comments. “What are you planning?”
“Me??” Fowler feigned innocence. “I believe I'm the captive here. I should be asking what you plan to do to me.”
“If you betray us. If you do anything further to hurt him, I’ll…”
Fowler started to laugh. “‘Him’ is it? Stupid, stupid boy, that is not a man you travel with. Have you really not realized this?”
Taigen glared angrily. “You are the only demon here, white man.”
“Oh ho,” Fowler continued to laugh. “I’d tell you, but this is too delicious. I should thank you for bringing me such entertainment.”
Taigen backed away from the cell, regretting having come. Something was on the verge of falling into place, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. He returned to the room he shared with Mizu feeling off balance.