Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I think it's supposed to be June.

Dear brain this is not a Diary

Today my best friend was hit by a car.

I slowly blink my eyes open and groan. Taking a bandaged filled hand over my eyes to cover it from the sun’s too happy ego.

After rethinking all the choices I’ve made in my 13 years of living. I wouldn’t change shit. Well maybe the house fire but that’s a whole different level of bad shit crazy. Huh. Maybe.

As I begin to sit up and push the covers off of me, a womans voice rang though the house. “Tommy, hurry up and go already! Your going to miss the bus!” Puffy grunted.

“Shit.” I stumbled up, rushing towards my closet. I pull out a crappy baby blue collar shirt and some wrinkled khaki pants that has them wonderful drawing strings. I poorly threw them on. I panic in trying to find my shoes before just going with my red and white strap on ones. I trip several times getting to the bathroom. I brush my hair, teeth, and put some Listerine in my mouth.

Shit burns.

I spit it out, then do a whole marathon from my room to out the back door. Tubs was already waiting for me with my breakfast in one hand, cheese and toast. I snatch the toast from his hand and stomp out of the door towards Puffy who’s planted a lot of carrots since the last time I saw her garden.

“For fucks sake Puffy, cheese and toast again? That’s the 7th time we’ve had cheese and toast this week!” Puffy only huffed in amusement, pulling a carrot top from the ground… it shouldn’t be that big. Should I be worried? Nah. “Well deal with it Tommy. You haven’t had any good food lately and I’m scared you’ll won’t eat anything else.” She giggled.

I roll my eyes, “That. Was one time! The fucking bitch had lots more slices of cheese pizza and she wouldn’t give us anymore.” I said, walking over to Tubbo. “Yeah, besides, if she had given us more pizza she wouldn’t have gotten her car tires popped.” Toby added, already having the gate held open for Tommy.

I sigh and much on the toast as I walk out the gate and down the sidewalk with Tubbo right next to me. “Hey Tommy?” “Yeah?” “Wanna ditch?” “…Last period.” “M'kay. So, have you heard what the seniors did in the middle of the night?” Toby asks, swiping a finger over his mouth. Got all crumbs around it. “Nah. What? Did they pull off their prank to early?” I said, chewing the last bit of the toast. Fucking cheese. Dumb toast. “Yeah. Remember how all of them signed up for painting?” Toby tilted his head as we stopped at our bus stop.

“Yeah, what about it?” I turned to Tubbo, Tubbo seemed to have a huge grin across his face in the matter of seconds. “They spray painted the exterior of the front and back of the school.” My eyes widen. “How the fuck did they pull that off!?” I laughed as our bus stopped right in front of us, doors opened and we stepped in.

“I don’t know man, but apparently they did it early because there’s gonna be a heavy storm in a few weeks and after that they’ll be none for the next two months so they decided to do it a month early.” Tubbo explained, sitting our spot. Damn it. He got the window. I sit down next to him. “Why were they wanting for a storm?” I asked, about to pull out my phone but not finding it in my pocket. Damn it. 

“Because the spray paint will come off in the rain.” Tubbo said noticing that I didn’t my phone nor backpack with me and starts laughing hysterically. “B-Big Man! Hahaha—You f-forgot it the 4th time this month! How???” Tubbo dubbed over, the bus driver screamed for him to shut up but Tubbo ignored him. “Yeah! I agree with Mr. Clinton. Shut the fuck up!”

Today is the second day of Tommy's reasons to hate life. School. School is a place where people 5-17 go because in society their stupid. Tommy's not stupid. Tommy knows how to put a phone together . Kinda. Not really. But still! Tommy's not stupid. Besides, ain't no way Jessica is going to the store to buy 374 watermelons then not having enough money to buy all of them so she takes away 95.459, but needs to find the price so she divides—No. I’m not doing all that.

Anyway, Tommy isn’t stupid. However, Mr. Alexander Hippocampus the 3rd thinks otherwise.

“Mr. Innit, do you know why I called you to my office at 7 in the morning?” Mr. AssFace asks, because he thinks I give a shit.

“No Mr. Woman Nipples, I don’t know why you called me here at seven in the morning.” I mumble in annoyance, fiddling with a Spider-Man themed eraser that I won at the school fair. I barely had time to walk to class before AssFace decided he would call me here. 

Talking about some, "Thomas innit, come this instant to the Principals Office." Without the, "Or else" that should have been there. Like who do they think they are? I should be feared to not show up, I should be—

AssFace only sighs, “Mr. Innit, you have done a lot of disappointing and disrespectful actions these past few years you have attended here.” AssFace say, opening a drawer and searching inside of it until he pulls out a medium stack of paper.

“This is a list of what you’ve have done this year.” He then goes to a different drawer and pulls out a large stack of paper. “This is everything you’ve done since you’ve stayed here for the past years.” He gives Tommy a look of displeasure, “Can you take a guess of what exactly these papers represent?”

I give a threatening glare at AssFaceMcBitch.

“This is all of the criminal records of what you’ve done. You are aware that your going to high-school next year correct?” He asks, not phased my the look that I gave him multiple times now. Criminal records are basically all the bad shit we’ve done, they call it criminal records so it would scare the children attending into behaving.

“Yes.”

“Well, me, the other staff and the board have been thinking about it.” It was like he was speaking with a adult who was working hard but… wasn’t doing well at their job. “We’ve decided to send you to Connie High.”

…No. “What?” My eyes widen, my legs trembled even though I was sitting in a chair. WAIT! That's not trembling, I'm just cold. You shiver when your cold to produce more body heat. Remember that kids.

“Your present and pass behavior has proven that you need guidance in your last 4 years of school. So we are sending you to Connie boarding school for children who need guidance.” AssFaceMcBitch said calmly, that bitch must be jumping in joy at my sudden stiffness. Fucking bitch.

“And don’t worry about the funding, we’ve got that all of it covered.” He pushes a piece of paper in front of me. "The guidelines also include a extra year if they need more time fixing you. That is all. You are dismissed."

I grab the piece of paper, slowly stand up, and walk out of the office. I open the door, step outside, and the door closes behind me.

I just stood there. My head held low and my fingers digging into my palm. 'They fucking knew what happened last year. And they want me though that same shit again!' Tears stream down my face and I make a break to the bathroom.

I may also have forgotten to tell you that the government is fucked up and only your previous school can pick where you deserve to go when you leave.

Puffy wouldn’t even be considered if she tried to demand us some place else. That's why most kids just keep thier head low or off themselves so they don't have to deal with anything.

Our generation is the smallest because of that. It's sad.

Fuck the system.

Fuck it—

As I was running I heard a name, flash threw the intercom, "Tobias Underscore, You are needed at the Principals Office." I catch myself on a corner. No. They... they won't. Tubbo... Tubs joined me for everything. They even tried to separate us but that didn't work in the end so they couldn't anymore... It... They'll probably just put him in Connie too.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

...No, what am I thinking? I shouldn't wish for him to join me. He should go to that school for nerds in section 2. I'll... I maybe get to visit him... Maybe.

I must have been there for a while because Tubbo rushed out of the room and headed towards me. He seemed to be in a panic because he wasn't looking up, just running.

Until he looked up, his eyes are foggy from tears and his cheeks were puffed red, his honey brown eyes met my gaze and ran into me. 

"Oof—" We fall onto the floor, tangled limbs, jabbing knees, elbows, it was not like our sleepovers. So damn uncomfortable.

"Tommy! They want to send me to Elbert United High!" Tubbo cried, and Tommy decided that gripping onto Tubbo like a lifeline was the only option I had. 

That, wasn't a nerd school. That was a school filled with broken mental maniacs! The teachers there are bought from suspicious sources and are taught to teach the students how not to be crazy(AKA, brain wash them to only do as asked. They wouldn't be able to think for themselves!), if given permission by caretaker they will be able to physically torture the students. It doesn't matter if you were just very smart. As soon as you leave, all you'll be able to do is follow commands, though they have a limit to how many students they can have per year, it would not matter because they even have a website to Tutor your, "Disappointments" and have them the perfect child! 

Its sad.

Fuck the system.

Fuck it.

As soon as I latched back onto Toby, I began dragging him to our secret base. It wasn't very efficient so I switched to carrying him on my back. Of course, only some of the Assholes(Teachers) actually gave a shit when I was carrying Tubbo on my back. And proceeded to give us both both detention.

That was the worst move they could've done.

Because as soon as Tommy got there, he opened a window and climbed out. Tubbo right behind him.

"A-are you sure this is a good idea?" Tubbo asked as he sat on the edge of the windowsill, legs dangled out. Tommy waited for him on the ground, to jump so Tommy could catch him and they would leave already.

"Your the one who wanted to do this in the first place! Come on! Hurry up before Poopy Hair shows up!" I whisper shout, tugging on Tubbos trousers leg. "Alright move back! I don't need your help getting down." As to prove his point, he decided to jump down and totally not sprain his ankle.

Tommy threw Tubbo onto his back with small resistance.

"Where do you wanna go?" I ask Tubbo as we walk passed the school's yard. It was a lame escape but fuck it. They'll be sent off to the worst schools in section 31, that's a whole 18 sections away! Might as well not attend the next month of school...Huh.

"Tubbo."

"Yeah boss man?" Tubbo lifted his head to look at me.

"Wanna not attend school for the next month?" I ask, crossing the road while Tubbo looked at me like I was a mad man. "Tom... you know Puffy isn't going to let us." He said.

"Then how about we run away?" I offer, walking into a nearby park. There's only a few adult near it, but they seemed to be very interested in a black piece of paper. Weirdos.

"... Where are we going to go if we run away?" I nearly trip, "Your actually considering this?" 

"No, I'm just seeing if you thought it though." Tubbo said as he pointed at the swings, "Answer the question. If we do run away, where would we go?"

"Our tree house." I answer smug, shoving Tubbo off. "Ah!—" Tubbo lands on his tush, "What the hell man!?"

"I was just seeing if your foot was healed." I snicker, "There's your answer." I fall backwards, only to land on one of the swings.

"... You know that didn't make sense, and that would be the first place Puffy would look." Tubbo sighed. He stood up and hopped to the other swing. (Not before smacking Tommy.) 

"Yeah, that's why we go to the abandoned parking lot, we're stay there for at least two days before going to our tree house." I close my eyes as I fly and fall. The wind tickles my neck as I swing through it. 

"You know Puffy will have Foolish stalk the neighborhood and house like a guard dog. Right?" Tubbo was swinging now, he wasn't swinging as high I was but still swinging.

"It'll be fine. Besides, today's Tuesday. If we disappeared now and waited until next Monday, I'm sure Puffy would have to go to her bo-ring office job. Plus Foolish would have to go back to College." I say,slowing down. I look at Tubbo and he catches my gaze. "As long as we have each other we'll be fine."

"...Let's do it."

"Wait what?!" I flung off the swing.

So in summary, me and Tubbo packed some clothes, covers, our secret snack stash, and booked it for that abandoned parking lot. It didn't go smoothly. 

We didn't expect the parking lot to be filled with smart raccoons that would take most of our food and the only big blanket in order for us to stay there. I didn't expect for the police to search the parking lot. Toby didn't think that we would stay there for more then 5 days.

In short me and Tubbo spent a month and week in that dusty, dirty, dumbass parking lot. And only came out because it was hot as hell. 

"Hey Tommy." Tubbo was doing the balancing game on one of things at them parking lots. He was failing miserably.

Tubbo had a few unexpected scratches on his face from one of the raccoons trying to steal our food. His favorite green button up was worn-out and dirty, he had the top few buttons open because of the heat. He also had worn his second favorite shorts.(He had also gain a point for bringing sandals, but Tommy also got a point for keeping them fed and somehow talking to the raccoons. Tubbo now sometimes call him raccoon boy.)

"Yeah?" I was dragging my feet to catch up to him. It wasn't working.

Tubbo hopped off of the... thing and turned to face me, then stopped in tye middle of it. "Tommy."

"What?"

"Run—"

Everything was is in slow motion.

Tubbo flew into the air.

Dream opened the car door.

Puffy was running towards me.

Tubbo didn't land on the bridge but behind it and into the lake.

I ran.

Dream tried to grab me but Puffy punched him.

I jumped.

Puffy screamed, "THOMAS—" Dream punched her.

I fell.

I grabbed Tobias, I tried to push him up but he was heavy. I was weak.

I can't swim.

Then right where I was trying to push Tobias, a bright purple light shined like the sun. It started to suck Tobias in and I panicked, I tried to pull away from the weird light but it only sucked harder, pulling me in with him. 

It's cold. It's bitting. It hurts.

Where's Tobias?

Wait. What was I doing?

...

Help.

Tobias Help.

TOBIAS! HELP! WHERE ARE YOU!?

TOBY WHAT HAPPENED!?

Tubbo are you okay?

Are you cold too?

Does it hurt?

...

Oh. Right. What happened?

...

I jolt up to the bitting cold. It's in the middle of summer, what the fuck— it's white.

The sky is white, the floor is white, the dead trees are covered in white, I'm in a frozen lake.

WTF!?!?

Chapter Text

Tommy was cold.

Now, it was like Tommy wasn't familiar with the concept of the cold. He knew how the cold worked. He knew how evil and brutal it could be. He knew it all too well. However, this was different. Instead of his whole body feeling the same biting cold, everything below his shoulders was ice cold. Everything else was snow cold. (There's a huge difference.) And Tommy was hating every second of it.

As he was trying to figure out how he got into this predicament, slowly losing his sanity, he remembered.

He remembered all that happened.

Tubbo and him disappearing, the parking lot, the raccoons, finally leaving that damn abandoned parking lot after 2 months of hiding, then only for Tubbo to be hit by a—Dreams car and Tommy diving into the lake to save Tubbo. But a purple light sucked Tubbo and him into it and now— wait.

Where is he?

Tommy tried to open his eyes but they were frozen shut with something like eye booger but more strong, wet, and cold. He could force them open but he had a feeling that that would make him either blind or not able to close his eyes ever again. So he tried to move. He was a bit successful in moving his right arm to try and feel his surroundings.

He was in a body of water. Ice cold water. He was stuck in between two–solid rocks? Most likely. But no matter how much he desperately tried, he couldn't find the body of the other near him. He also couldn't hear any breathing near him when he strained his ears either.

Where's Tubbo?

Tommy panicked. He tried to wiggle his way out of the rocks but it turns out his left arm was stuck and his left leg was likely badly injured. Shit. That was bad. So without any other options, and pushed his pride to the back of his mind. He called for help. (Fuck this was pathetic.)

"H-hElp!" Tommy's voice cracked from disuse, it hurt like shit, but he *had* to call out again. "H-h-h-help! I'm St-UC-k! SOme—B-ody, HElp!" It felt like it must've been hours—(five minutes.)—before he gave up. He sat there. Somewhere in a forest. Somewhere in a river. A lake. A body of water. Up against a rock. In a frozen body of water. Just snow. And ice. And trees. Huh.

He wondered if he would ever be found. He wondered if Tubbo was alright. He wondered if Tubbo was alive. Tubbo probably wasn't okay. 'He fell off a bloody bridge for fucks sake. He's probably out like a light, unconscious and concussed.' Tommy wanted to groan. To rip himself up, out of the confines of these very rude rocks and find Tubbo, hug him like he was the most important thing—Because he is— and find a way back to Pogtopia.

But he knew that if he did that he'd probably just die quicker. So, slowly freezing to death aye? That's how the great Thomas Danger Kraken Innit is gonna go? Well, shit. Should've visited his mother's grave before running. 'She'd probably beat my ass then bake me some oatmeal cookies or something. Fuck, her cookies were good. Guess I'll meet her once I... die. Fuck.' Tommy was feeling drowsy, fuck he was losing consciousness.

Having his eyes closed and the calming background noise wasn't helping. He hoped that he was just having a bad dream and he would wake up with Tubbo beside him. In that hell of a parking lot. With all of the tiny raccoons. He hoped. And let his tiredness take over as he fell asleep.

Tommy was in a field. A long everlasting flower field. It had just turned spring, with all of the snow melting and the flowers beginning to sprout, he was playing in the woods, picking berries to show his mother and ask her to make his favorite for dinner but stumbled upon this place after he tripped into a ditch.

He was to get home in 2 hours, that's what the sun had told him, but he felt too comfortable to leave. He felt too content to just sit here than to run back to the tiny shed he and his mother call home and tell her what he found. Tell his mother something that she would rush to see and care for. She would treasure and make sure to take him every time they went to go to the village downstream.

But he liked it here. He liked being here. He liked it too much to just go back now when he's not needed for 2 more hours.

Tommy wasn't a flower expert but he saw many Red, Orange, and Yellow Tulips, as well as some Pink and White ones. He saw Daisies and Lilies and those weird Blackeyed Susans' thingies. He saw Sunflowers, Snapdragons, Lavinder, Hydrangea and Peonyies.

He thinks it means something bad but he's not 100% on it, his mother was the expert. She knew everything about flowers, even how to write their names on paper! His mother said he couldn't tell anyone though because the village was brainwashed by the nobles and would want to burn his mother. Which he thinks is not Poggers.

But right now he was standing in a bouquet of Yellow Roses, Giant Protea, Lilies, and Orchids. Not on top of them of course, but they surrounded him. And he relished in the attention. He didn't know what they meant but his mother had told him something about—"(Something) Proteaies meaning strength and courage."—or something like that. He grinned and laughed and twirled, as they showered him with compliments. It was like he could hear what they were saying, without them even speaking (Because their flowers. Flowers don't speak.).

While showing off, he looked up. Eyes searching the sky, it was getting dark. He had to get home. So, he tried to leave the bouquet but he saw something glow in a purple hue in the corner of his eye.

He turned to see Tobias.

Tobias was curled up, asleep inside a bouquet of a lot of yellow flowers, Lavender, Honeysuckles, Alstroemerias, White Carnations, Pink Carnation, Purple Carnation, Dianthus, Light Red Carnations, Violets, Hyacinth, and Forget-Me-Nots.

It was like a whole kingdom was greeting his— this boy. Right in front of the boy stood a few flowers twisting around each other, standing tall is an Allium, hiding behind it is a Shrinking Violet, a Daffodil singing in the breeze, and a Gardenia singing with it.

However, that's not what caught Tommy's attention, his attention was snatched by the flower crown Tobias wore on his mop of brown they both called hair. (His hair was much longer than what Tommy remembered, it was even covering his nose. The ends of his hair were blonde, a bit like Tommy's but missing its unique hue. More stale and paler.) The flower crown was beautiful, it had a Lotus flower, and a Pink Camellia twisted with a Freesia. It had the same flowers Tommy had that dug into his left wrist.

Tommy just couldn't look away. He wanted to run over to Tobias. To embrace him in a hug. To cry with Tobias in his arms and tell him how much he meant to him, to ask him what happened, to never let go.

But he couldn't. He didn't dare move. He stayed still and waited for himself to calm down. Then, when he didn't feel like if he were to move he would bolt over to Toby, he sat down and stared at his dirt-covered knees. He didn't know why he felt that way. It was already weird how he knew that other boy's name(or Nickname), how he knew something was wrong with him, and how he wanted to hug the other boy when he didn't even know or had ever seen the boy in his life.

But he was too tired to question it. He looked away from his knees to peer at the flowers, only to find a vibrant Red Poppy. Right next to it was a Peonie and a Moonflower.

As he rushed to look up at the sky, he was cut off by a yawn. His eyes were now tightly shut and tears pricked at the corners of his eyes from how hard he yawned. He was super tired. Tommy lay on his back and slowly looked up at the sky. The sun had set and the moon had risen.

He was late for dinner.

But he couldn't feel worried, he felt too calm to feel worried. He... was sleepy. So Tommy closed his eyes and dreamt of better days that were so far from reality.

Was Tommy drunk?

He doesn't fucking know.

He feels like he's been hit by a bus and then thrown into an active volcano. Like, who does that? Who hits a child with a bus and then throws them into a volcano? Probably the... the dudes who came before us or some shit...

There was absolutely no reason he should feel this way— was he sick...

Oh fuck he was sick.

He was sooooo sick.

His limbs were heavy, his eyelids remained closed, and he felt like he was going to throw up, pass out, and do it all over again. It took a few tries before his body finally won and had fought off whatever was keeping him sick.

When Tommy opened his eyes, the feeling was gone. He slowly lifted his gaze to the weird brown tent roof he was in, then back at the weird-looking bloke who saved him.

The man had similar locks as Tubbo but more tamed and they curled up instead of inward. His hair was also more shorter than Tubbo's, and he had a jawline instead of round baby-fat cheeks that were very fun to pinch. The man was wearing a bright yellow sweater that hung low, right above his knees and black pants. Tommy could see a set of wired circular glasses beside the man. (The man was also a deadly shade of blue and a bit transparent, Tommy wasn't to judge though. He'd had been through a lot, and he doesn't think it'll surprise him if the man was some other race or some shit.)

Tommy noted these things down, however, he couldn't let go of one important thing.

... wasn't he in a frozen body of water? It's not that he's fucking mad at the bloke or some other stupid shit. He was pretty happy to not have kicked his bucket that wasn't even filled with bricks but with lovely flowers. However, he was squished in between two rocks in a body of water that had surely frozen him, and he couldn't forget his arm and his leg being stuck in some other shit. He is very positive that he was in there really well and would need, like 7 construction trucks, 50 heaters, and a fucking surgeon to get him out. Plus some dish soap.

So call Tommy a wrongun' but how in the ever-loving fuck did the bloke get Tommy out??? Especially if it was like, I don't fucking know, like -30 God damn degrees out there!? Yes, the man saved his life, but how did he do it!?

He was skinny as fuck, unlike the very big and strong Tommy innit. Tommy was a Big Man, the biggest of them all, and this lanky fellow, was obviously not even close to his level.

Tommy is such a Big Man that he didn't jump when the man yawned and turned over to face the wall. Nor when the man jumped up himself and turned to face him. His face was in deep ass panic until deep brown locked with sky blue, which made the man's shoulders drop, instantly relax. "Oh, thank Gods you're alive." The man flops down onto the ground. (Which he was very sure it was made out of polar bear fur from how white it was, or bleached.)

"I thought you had gone to Vista lady death when I had given you that potion of Instant Healing." He laid on the ground for a bit then jumped onto his knees and thrusted his hand into Tommy's face, "I'm Ghostbur, what's your name?"

Tommy blinked dumbly at him. Then he snickered. "What kind of parents name their son "Ghostbur"? Even William would have been better for you." Tommy barely could stop himself from laughing at the look he got from the man.

"Hey! I bet your name isn't any better." Ghostbur shouted, Tommy stopped laughing. "It's probably Bob. You look like a Bob." Giving his name to Ghostbur would be a big "No-no" if Tubbo was here. But Tubbo isn't here.

And that man had guessed Bob of all things, like, who has ever seen a kid named Bob? Bob's usually naturally spawn at the age of 26-34. No one is named Bob, they just appear out of no where. Its a fucking fact. "It's Tommy Bitchbur." Eh. He's not that stupid, plus he preferred being called that.

It was short, nice, and simple. Besides, when he and Tubbo first met, they weren't able to pronounce each other's names. So they stuck with nicknames. The Nickname had grown on Tommy, and Tubbo created his popular nickname later after Tommy had gotten sick and called him by it. It'd be their little inside joke that others would never understand... huh.

Anyway, Bitchbur smiled, ignoring Tommy's nickname for him. Then, he didn't smile. Bitchbur tilted his head. "Tommy?" He looked Tommy up and down, then nodded his head and smirked. "It suits you."

Tommy blinked, and his brows creased "Wha–HEY! What's that supposes to mean!?" He shouted.

Ghostbur bellyed over, laughing hysterically, "Naw, gremlin would suit you more. It basically describes you!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!? I WILL FIGHT YOU YOU SON OF A BICTH! GET OVER HERE!!!"