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“Miles, honey, please don’t jump on your bed,” Gee’s voice was soft and gentle as she entered her son’s room, carrying a basket of recently washed clothes, “it’s almost time for bed, why don’t you come help me put your clothes away before we get you tucked in?”
She watched with a nervous look as Miles nodded and jumped one more time, and landed in a seated position, bouncing a few more times before he hopped off and rushed to the other side of the room to join his mother and help her with the clean clothes. They worked in a sort of comfortable quiet for a while, the only sound being the shuffle and scrape of wooden drawers being pulled and pushed back into their slots after they were filled. After almost all of the clothes were put where they belonged, Miles sighed softly, causing his mother to look down with raised eyebrows.
“What is it, sweetheart?” She asked, pushing in the final drawer before she turned and knelt down in front of her young son. Miles was just shy of five, with dark brown hair and large hazel eyes. She watched expectantly, but still Miles remained quiet. “Miles, can you tell me what’s bothering you?”
Miles kept his eyes down, watching the carpet under his feet, his toes wiggling against the faded blue.
After a few extra moments of silence, he finally looked up and locked gazes with his mother’s, concerned and comforting. Miles opened his mouth, finding it dry and uncomfortable, the words sticking to the roof of his mouth and refusing to come out. He just made a small noise and curled his lips up into a smile, putting his small hands on the woman’s face, “Can you tell me a story to fall asleep?”
Gee’s concern soon seemed to disappear as her voice rang out in a melody of laughter, taking her son’s hands into her own, kissing his palms. “Of course,” she beamed, “how about we get you into bed and then we can pick a story?” She suggested, gaining a nod and small footsteps running across the room, stopping as Miles climbed up into his bed. Gee joined him, helping to tuck her son into bed before she settled herself beside him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Okay,” Gee said after she was sure she had everything in place before Miles fell asleep, “what do you want to hear tonight?”
Miles played with his fingers a bit, letting his arms reach up above his face, giving him something to focus on as he thought. He was quiet for a few seconds his eyes continuing to watch the figures his fingers attempted to form. Finally, those wide hazel eyes flashed up and caught Gee’s. Lowering his arms and resting his hands over his blanket covered chest, Miles cleared his throat, “Tell me a story about daddy.” The words shocked Gee, she wasn’t sure she was ready for this conversation. She figured she would have been granted a least a few more years. She took a deep breath, and Miles must’ve sensed her discomfort because he he made a noise, but continued to watch her with curious eyes. “Everyone has a daddy but me, why don’t I have one?”
Gee licked over her lips, wetting the dry skin as she tried to clear the heated blanket clouding her head and making her chest tighten up. She took another look at her son, offering the best smile she could before she pushed herself up a little more, laying down beside Miles. She drew in a heavy breath, exhaling loudly before she wrapped her arm protectively around the small child curling into her side. Her fingers carded through his dark hair and down his pajama covered spine, retracing their path over and over. “You do have a daddy, Miles, you have to understand that.”
Her voice was a bit weaker than it had been before, but she managed to keep it as strong as she possibly could so that she didn’t have it crack on her. She wracked her brain in search for somewhere to begin, but came up blank. She watched the ceiling for a few seconds, her fingers still tracing a path up and down Miles’ spine.
“Then where is he?” Miles asked, his voice sounding even more distressed than before, not bothering to hide it.
Gee sighed, finally turning her head so that she could look down at her son, “He’s in a much better place than where we are right now, but I promise he’s waiting for us.” She promised, moving her hand back up into Miles’ hair, brushing the short strands that hung just over his forehead back, watching them fall back into their place.
Miles was quiet, taking in the information as he lay soaking in the warmth of his mother. He didn’t really know what any of what Gee was saying meant, he just decided to take it and let his mind make whatever it wanted to out of the information. After a while of nothing but thick silence threatening to burst their eardrums, the young boy shifted the position that his head was in and made a quiet sound. “Can you tell me about him?”
Gee gave a sad smile, biting at her lip as she nodded, reaching up so that she could tuck some of her own hair out of her face, brushing the dark strands behind her ear. “Of course I’ll tell you about him, sweetheart,” she murmured, humming softly in thought. “His name was Frank, Frank Anthony, and he was so sweet, so brave, and I loved him very much,”
She felt a strange sensation build within the pit of her stomach, but she couldn’t tell whether it was something she should be worried about. Even so, she continued, closing her eyes and forcing herself to picture Frank in her mind so that she could describe him as accurate as possible. Of course, she’d never forget her late husband, but after three years, things such as visual memories were hard to keep.
She reopened her eyes when a thought popped into her head, sitting up slowly. “Here, I have something for you,” she said, standing up and fixing her shirt. She glanced over to see Miles looking at her, but in a way that he understood and would be waiting, “I’ll be right back.” She promised, leaning down to press a kiss to her son’s forehead before she straightened up again and turned, leaving the room.
Gee went straight to her room, not stopping for anything but to open her closet door. Once she was in there, she looked around the small area and spotted a box labeled ‘F+G’ and fished it out from under two others that were stacked on top of it that she never bothered to unpack even after a year and a half of living in this home. When she managed to get the box free, she picked it up and took it with her, marching back to Miles’ room.
When she got there, Miles looked up at her from his position on the bed, eying the box in her hand. Gee set the box down onto the floor and began to open the cardboard flaps. Once the box was finally open, she reached inside to pull out a folded American flag encased in glass, Frank’s name, as well as the time he’d been alive engraved into the thin side. She also lifted a photo album and a uniform jacket, the patches and pins from Frank’s service still scattered across the navy blue fabric. Miles sat up in curiosity as she walked back to the bed, sitting down in her previous spot. She set the items out so all of them could be seen, grabbing the photo album and holding it in her lap. Slowly, Gee opened the book, turning to the first page. It had been the album that Frank’s mother put together from their wedding day. Gee still kept it as close to her as she could, it was her light when all she saw was darkness.
Miles peered over his mother’s arm, looking down that the first group of pictures. They were of Gee and a man, standing together and looking happier than he’d ever seen his mother look. Her dress was stark white and hugged her frame, long sleeves extending down her arms as the skirt reached the floor. She was beautiful. The man was dressed in a black suit, a white flower pinned to the breast pocket of his jacket. Their hands were laced together and they were laughing, looking at each other.
The man had short brown hair, with tattoos on his hands and poking out from the collar of his dress shirt and suit jacket. His smile was wide and his eyes were hazel just like Miles’. “Is that him?” Miles asked, looking up at Gee, who turned the page and nodded.
“Yes, baby, that’s him. That’s your father.”
Miles nodded and took another look at the images, tilting his head. “You look so happy,” He noted moving closer to his mother when he noticed the red rimmed eyes, and the glossy look in them, she was crying. “Mommy,” Miles said, making a small noise as he reached out to grab her hand, “it’s okay. Please don’t cry.” He begged her, causing her to blink and look up, wiping at her eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t even notice, I’m okay. Mommy’s okay.” She replied, offering the best smile she could as she sniffled. She turned the page again, looking back down. “Your father was an amazing man, Miles. He was so strong, and he loved you so much,” she reached forward and grabbed the folded flag, resting it on the photo album. She let her fingers glide across the glass, and then touch at the copper-looking letters, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. “But he left fighting the good fight, and I know that he’s still fighting the good fight. He’s having the best time where he is, I promise you.”
Gee looked over at Miles, who had begun to touch at the jacket in front of him. She couldn’t help but smile, setting the book and flag down. “Would you like to try it on?” She asked, seeing Miles nod and climb off of his bed. Gee followed, carefully lifting the jacket and kneeling down in front of her son. She helped him slip his arms into the much too large sleeves, the jacket reaching almost to the floor, the sleeves to his knees. Gee made a noise and had to keep herself blinking so that she didn’t start crying again, it was too much for her.
Miles looked up after a while of analyzing himself, a pleading look on his face. “Do I look like him?” His voice was quiet, but that was enough to break Gee down. She bit down on her lip and nodded, tears flooding to her eyes.
“Yes, baby. You look just like him.” Gee whispered, giving him a loving smile. Miles lunged forward into Gee’s arms and held onto her, sleeves still too long.
“I love you, mommy,” Miles whispered, his voice weak as tears filled his own little eyes, trying to ball his hands into fists so that he didn’t cry, “and I’m going to take care of you. I want to fight the good fight like daddy.”
Gee hugged Miles tight to her chest, nodding slowly. “I love you too, baby, more than anything in the world.” She whispered, turning her head to press soft kisses all across his cheek before she pulled back to look at her son. He was everything to her, and he was the reason she was still here. She saw every bit of Frank inside of this boy, and she knew he would make her proud just like her husband did. Taking a deep breath, Gee pressed one more kiss to Miles’ forehead before she pressed her’s to his. “I think it’s time for bed, don’t you think?” She asked softly.
Miles nodded and wiped his eyes, letting Gee help him out of the jacket, watching her fold it up and set it on the chair beside the nightstand. “Can I keep it?” He asked as Gee helped Miles back into bed, tucking him in and kissing his cheek.
“I was planning on giving it to you when you were older, but I think you can have it now.” Gee murmured, ducking down into the box one last time as she produce one final item for the night, a large picture frame with Frank’s service picture in it. She set the picture up on Miles’ nightstand, turning to smile at him, “Now you can sleep knowing that he’s always watching over you.”
Miles looked at the picture, studying it hard as Gee packed up the photo album, but left the flag out. When Gee stood back up, Miles was still looking at the picture.
“Good night, sweetheart, I love you.” She said quietly, now standing by the door.
Miles kept his eyes on the picture, even after Gee turned the light out, the nightlight giving him enough to see the picture. “Love you too,” He said.
Gee nodded and took a deep breath, turning and leaving the room, keeping the door cracked in case Miles would need her sometime in the night. She set the box down outside of her son’s room, the glass case still in her hands. She carefully walked down the steps, her breath even as she entered the living room and turned the light on. From there, she slowly walked across the floor to the fireplace, swallowing thickly. She took one final look at the box, tracing her fingers over the glass where the fabric would scrape her skin. She studied the box for a long time, letting her tears slip freely now that she didn’t have Miles to worry about.
“You’re doing so well,” she heard a voice say from behind her, right against her ear. She froze, her fingers suddenly clutching at the box as there was a warmth that engulfed her. She felt Frank wrap his arms around her waist from behind and nose into the back of her neck like he used to, making her knees go weak.
She choked out a sound, almost like a sob, covering her mouth to keep it quiet. “I-I miss yo-”
“Shh, no.. It’s okay,” Frank whispered, rubbing over her sides in attempt to soothe her. “Please don’t cry,” he begged.
Gee couldn’t help herself, she let more tears fall as she choked on her breath. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to, I know you hate it,”
Frank nodded, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “What did you just tell him?” He whispered, “Don’t be sad, I’m waiting for you in paradise.” He hummed. “I still love you, I always will.” His voice was a gentle whisper, and it made Gee’s stomach clench in a way that would make her sick if she had anything in her stomach to get rid of.
Gee sniffled and carefully lifted the case up and set it on the wooden shelf above the fire pit, right in the center of all other decorations. When she was sure it was in a safe place, she turned around to face Frank, but he was nowhere to be seen, gone again. She bit down onto her bottom lip, looking around in a panicked way, breathing out shakily. She closed her eyes and caved in on herself, covering her face with her hands as she cried silently into her palms. She didn’t know how long she stood like that, but eventually something warm ran through her and calmed her, causing her to find the strength to pick herself up and pull herself together. She stood in silence for a few seconds, touching at the wedding band against her chest, feeling it clank with the one she still wore on her finger, still refusing to take it off.
“I love you too, forever and always,” She whispered when she finally found her found voice again, wetting her lips and turning her body to walk back towards the steps. She turned back around once she reached the doorway, looking at the glass case. “Good night, Frankie.” She murmured, watching as the room faded to black as she flipped the switch and turned, slowly making her way back up the dark staircase.