Chapter Text
Nolan guides Mark on stepping through his window. He sits Mark down next to him on the cool tile of the roof.
"Okay son bear with me, this is gonna be a little awkward, for both of us. You may have noticed that I'm far better than normal dads, and I think it's time you knew the truth."
"Millions of miles from here out in deep space is the planet Viltrum. It's a cool blue oasis alone in a solar system much like this one. I was born on this planet."
"Viltrumites are very similar to humans except we are far, far, better. We can fly, move at super speed, possess great strength, and we grow great facial hair. When our people come of age we leave Viltrum and venture out into the galaxy to conqu-" Nolan clears his throat, "-to assist inferior worlds."
"We protect and guide them, like a sheep dog- No, like a shepherd. Domesticating them… No, that's not the right word." He hums in contemplation.
"Ok, no metaphors. We are here to bring salvation and order to the barbaric animals of this world. Liberating them from the societal failures that free will brings, like you saw me on the news liberating Dagnax the Destroyer's head from his body. Just- not as bloody. Because we are… peaceful." He says, using a metaphor.
Mark blinks slowly up at him with awe in his eyes.
"I volunteered to relocate to Earth and be its sole protector. Preparing it for the Viltrum Empi- the Viltrum uh, just Viltrum. That's when I met your mother. And eventually we had you, Mark." Nolan boops his son on the nose eliciting a giggle.
"I know this is a lot to take in at one time, but you're half Viltrumite, son, and you're getting older. Things are gonna start to change for you in a few years as you hit puberty. You're gonna get acne, your voice will start to crack as it begins to change, you'll begin to grow hair on your upper lip, different species like bugs will start to be attractive, and you're gonna start to develop superpowers of your own, just like me. Super strength and speed, flight. The whole bit."
"Do you understand, son?"
Mark turns away from looking at the endless sky of distant stars. Looking to his father for guidance and understanding. "Bugs?"
Nolan brings his strong hand to rest reassuringly on his son's shoulder. "Yes son, you're gonna be able to fuck bugs."
"Don't worry, I'll help you grow into a proper young Viltrumite, it will be as natural as walking. How to properly fly, groom a mustache, and get blood out of your clothing," He laughs, "Let me tell you, son. So much blood."
Nolan leans back away from Mark, blowing out a heavy breath, the slowly building tension in his frame melting out of him as he finishes the painful talk. "Did that go well? That went well. I really feel good about that one. I'm going to get us Italian." Nolan flies off to abandon the situation, leaving Mark alone on the roof.
He sees the clouds part from his fathers wake as he flees. "Bugs?"
Mark turns to look at his mom who is watching from inside his room with a tight cringed look on her face.
She just shakes her head. "I'll give you the actual birds and the bees after Dad goes to bed."
Mark crawls through the window into his room. "I'm more confused than before."
Debbie brings her son in for a hug. She kissed Mark on the forehead. "At times your father is a very confusing man. But he loves both of us very much, he would give you the world Mark."
"Can Dad take me flying?" Mark asks innocently.
"No."