Chapter Text
A loud ringing sound went off, in waves that pierced her head painfully. They went off in quick bursts, one after another, until it was loud enough to make her retreat into herself. She became smaller, hugging her legs to her chest.. curling up in hopes of becoming nothing.
Blinking her eyes rapidly, she began getting flashes, like visions. She could see her muscles, her blood, every fiber in her body.. even her bones. She could see them all around, countless bodies that once belonged to her. They started beneath her in one big pile that spread across the battlefield, as far as the eye could see.
Strangely, the sight seemed familiar… it was a state she had already been in, like before the train.
Yeah, way before.. or something.
But it all ended once she woke up. There was a jolting feeling in her chest, and a lack of air in her lungs, as if she had been running for miles. And her eyes were watery, on the verge of tears. It gave them a lingering blur.
Then after a few seconds, she finally took a breath. Everything felt off, in a way that confused her. Her body felt healthy again, and strong. But there wasn’t any way that was made possible over night. She had been starving, dehydrating, fighting a hopeless battle in Purgatory.
Where was she? Had she finally died for good? No.. that “off” feeling was definitely not her being dead. Or was it? Is that what death would feel like? A breath of freshly washed sheets.. toast, and.. steak?
Jaiden gasped and sat up on the bed she had been laying on, her eyes bouncing around the room.
A chill ran down her spine, and her stomach dropped.
Roier was there, with Bobby held at his hip as he cooked on the stove next to the beds.
What..? What? That wasn’t right. That couldn’t be right.
She stared at them both in horror, not knowing what to say, do.. or how to even move. She had to be dreaming still.. she had to have gone crazy. Maybe she was dead- and if she wasn’t, she wished she was. Who could do this? Who would put her through something like this? Why? For what? She was falling, spiraling into a pit of doubt and self hatred. Every ugly emotion she had ever felt after loosing her family came back at once. There were so many thoughts going through her head, about everything. Eventually one became louder and louder until it was all she could think about.
My son is alive? My son is alive. My son is here, alive. My son is eating. My son is breathing.
My son.
My baby.
A deep sniffle finally made the boys look at her. They were obviously worried after seeing her face drenched in tears, and reached out for her. First, Bobby ripped himself out of Roier’s hold and crawled into bed with Jaiden, helping her wipe some of the tears away.
Roier followed along, sitting on the edge after turning the stove off. Although he had invited Jaiden to move in, he wasn’t prepared to see her in such a state. He felt the need to help her, but he didn’t know her very well. There was very little he could do at the moment. Still, they were now a family, and he wanted to be there for her.
“Mama, ¿qué tienes?” Bobby asked.
At first, Jaiden drew her eyes away. She quickly covered her face in shame and retreated from the boy’s touch. Their closeness came too quickly for her, even though she wanted to embrace them as tightly as she could. She wasn’t ready.
Yet, slowly, she leaned in closer. Jaiden allowed the boy to touch her hair, and then after removing her hands, she allowed him to touch her face. Her tears had subsided, though she was still hiccuping and sniffling.
His little fingers chased the remaining tears away, softly rubbing at her cheeks. He was extra careful on her right side, where she had been scarred at the start of their “vacation”.
“Jaiden, do you want breakfast? I made some avocado toast and steak quesadillas.” Roier’s chimed in from his place on the bed. He had placed a careful hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.
“You’re safe here, Ma. Hay que comer!” Bobby jumped off the bed to grab some plates, bringing them back to Roier for him to do all the work as he went back to comfort his mother.
And by the time Jaiden decided to open her eyes again, there was food being held up to her, steaming warm.
“I’m sorry.” Was all she could say as she accepted the plate. Roier sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to.” His defeated tone was too familiar to her, it stung bad. And it brought her back to reality.
She needed to figure out what this was if not a dream. She needed to figure out if this was okay.. if she was allowed to enjoy her family’s presence once again.
She looked at Bobby, lowering the plate to her lap. Then with her feathered arm, she reached to touch him.
“Are you my son?”
It felt stupid to ask, of course he would agree. But she had to hear him say it. Perhaps.. if he said it, she would believe it.
The boy’s brows furrowed as he did one big nod, smiling. “¡Claro, por eso te llamo Mamá!”
Jaiden frowned.
No. This was wrong.