Work Text:
Summary - Ross has not seen Ben (now known as Helena) since she came out as trans aged around 7/8 due to his transphobia and thanks to the protection of his mother's and Aunt Monica. Now aged 16 Ross' daughter makes communication with him.
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Helena has just turned 16 and while she loves everyone around her. There is a hole missing in her heart due to her father. She thought she would wear a dress in the video but then that may make her father uncomfortable. So opted for jeans and a long-sleeved top and has her hair in a ponytail with little make up. Not that she should have to do this for a man who hasn't seen her in about eight years and hates what she stands for.
Biting her lips, Helena holds the script she has in front of her and turns on the camera.
Helena gives a nervous smile and waves to the camera.
So uh hey there, Dad. You have not seen me since Emma was born. That is because I told my mom's I wanted to be a girl rather than a boy. Over time and despite some therapy to confirm this, my mind has not changed. I am transgender and live a better life for it. You may know me as Ben, but this is my introduction, and my wish is for you to know me as Helena. Call me whatever you like in private, but please don't deadname me to my face.
I hear you treat Emma like a princess and that Rachel is expecting again. Congratulations on that. I also want you to know I am also your princess, and you have a daughter that exists who just wants a hug from her father. I am not a sex pest; I am not a risk to society. I am a teenage girl who has just gone through her sweet sixteen. I want to go to college to possibly study law and do normal things. I would also like some fashion advice from Rachel because I hear she's quite talented.
I only know all this because Aunt Monica got in touch with my mom's a few months after Emma was born to find the full truth. Her and Uncle Chandler keep in touch but also protected me because they know your right-wing views and didn't want to put me in danger. That is why they only go with what you tell them. To keep the peace.
Also, I have not forgotten my Jewish roots. Being Jewish is also who I am. I was going to have a Bat Mitzvah, but I refused because I wanted my dad there. That is still a possibility, so this is an open invite for you to attend, we just need to get along first.
I still have conflicted feelings about you, but I have not let myself get angry. I am only disappointed and feel compassion that you have been told lies your whole life about the trans community.
There's so much more I can tell you, but instead I will leave you with a poem from 10 Things I Hate About You. I recreated it to fit someone who is transgender.
I hate the way you don't talk about me because I’m trans,
I hate the way you wanted to cut my hair,
I hate the way your beliefs push you far away to despair,
I hate the way I still care,
and the way you are still in my mind,
I hate you so much, that it makes me sick,
and it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you think you're always right,
I hate it when you lie (especially about me),
I hate the fact you've never made me laugh or that I had to pretend,
Even worse when you always make me cry.
I hate it that you are not around,
and the fact you didn't call,
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close..
Not even a little bit..
Not even at all...
Tears were running down her face by now.
I'm sorry I can't continue this video. You know how to get in touch with me. Aunt Monica is good. I just hope I'm not making a video in another eight years asking just for her father to give her a hug and to feel complete in the Jewish faith.
Goodbye.