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Chapter Text

When most children are forced into a habit, they resent it. James learned this from Sirius.

The way he sometimes slouched his figure as an allegory of vengeance, or he slung as many arms around as many people as he could. 

James was not perceptive enough to notice this himself so obviously Sirius told him, saying that the attraction of such small gestures was that his mother would “go mad” .  James couldn’t help but encourage Sirius, even if he didn’t relate to the sentiment. Even though James had had a broom forced into his hands from a young age, he still fostered a love for Quidditch.

Where Sirius lives for making his mother livid, what James dreamed of was the thrill of flying. The memories of his first, shaky broom came back to him as he gazed down at the pitch, Sirius leaning into his shoulder. Peter was to James’ right, blowing hot air into his hands, and Remus was curled up, reading, wand poised to cast charms to warm himself up. Every few minutes, you could hear him muttering. He said nothing else, no matter how many times Sirius prodded him.

He remembered soaring around empty fields, feeling freed and uncaged. It had always been just him and his broom, together as a unit. He could fly. Truly fly. And flying loosened his limbs, made him relax, and filled his mind with just the feeling of the air around him, and just the sheer idea of flying. 

Sirius understood it too, James knew. They used to sit by the window and just talk. And when they spoke about flying, Sirius would talk about “flying away until my mother’s screeching disappears behind the clouds” , or “picking up his broom and flying away to Finland” in their First year. When James asked why Finland, Sirius had said that Lily had told him that it was the happiest country in the world and he’d like to test that theory. And of course, James also liked the sound of the happiest country in the world. So, one day, the two were destined to fly to Finland. But that’s besides the point.

Even now, in the biting cold, the thought of Quidditch made his bones hum with anticipation. The game that was about to begin, the one he had politely dragged his friends to. As the captain of the team, he had an obligation to do what Peter called “spying” on the other teams. And he absolutely could not go alone. 

He leaned over the railing, taking in the scene as the players emerged, readying themselves. Sirius began to clap, along with the myriad of others in the Ravenclaw stands. Peter flinched at the sudden applause, but slowly began to clap. Sadly, it was mistimed. With a great, final cheer, everyone sat back down to watch, and chattered amongst themselves. 

The ever-familiar whistle howled in his ears, and green and blue blurs shot skywards. The opening.

James scanned the pitch, watching them. Cobalt blue robes stood strong in the air. James could only imagine the intricate tactics that had been conjured up by the captain. Over the Summer, they could have only gotten sharper. Some waved to the crowd, smiling. Some looked onwards, focused.

Opposite, he saw the Slytherins, clad in emerald. They all carried a stoic demeanour, only giving each other small glances. 

James remembered playing both teams. The only player on the Slytherin team that he vaguely knew was Regulus. They had shared some surface level conversation, but nothing to secure a friendship. James thinks he spots a new broom. A Nimbus, perhaps? 

Sirius shook Remus on the shoulder, grinning. “Hey, they’re in the air now!”

He wore a Gryffindor scarf still, and a muggle, navy blue woolen hat that Remus had fished out of his trunk for him. 

James remembered how he'd accidentally lost not one, but two winter hats - first his own, then Peter's spare in his Fifth year. And when Remus lent him a third (which he had then also lost) James tried to summon it with an Accio charm that he had recently learned, but only this time suddenly attracting all of the hats in the vicinity of the Gryffindor quarters. 

“Testing a spell you learned a mere five minutes ago? Honestly, I’d have expected better judgment from a First year, Potter!” McGonagall had scolded when she caught wind of the incident. She made James personally deliver apologies and return each hat under her stern gaze, even as Sirius and Peter struggled to contain their giggles.

And after, when James sheepishly asked for help with that summoning charm later, Remus gladly obliged - on the condition James keep a tighter hold on his possessions this time. "I swear Moony, you'll never see me lose another hat if you just show me the spell," James promised. His skill on a broom far outmatched his abilities with household charms it seemed. 

“That’s wonderful,” Remus deadpanned to Sirius, flicking at a page, barely averting his eyes from his tome. He also wore a hat, but it was dark red compared to Sirius’ blue. His cheeks were also flushed, a testament to how pale Remus was. He had spent a few minutes charming his earmuffs to make the cheers and hollers from the crowd sound quieter to him.

Sirius sighed and turned away with mock disappointment. “This is important, you know.”

Remus huffed. “I know. The winner plays Gryffindor in the final. After seven years, I still don’t care.”

James patted Sirius’ shoulder and turned to look at him. “Who do you think is winning? Everyone say your predictions! You first, Pete.”

Peter’s eyes widened as everyone’s (by that, James and Sirius’) gaze went to him. He quickly looked at the pitch and then back to James, as if he could suddenly gauge the outcome after a millisecond of watching the match. “Ravenclaw? That’s…the team we’re supporting, right?”

James nodded. Sirius shook his head, and even more so when James turned to look at him, confused.

“That’s my brother out there! He’s good, and so are the Chasers. As much as I hate it, Ravenclaw aren’t winning this one.”

“Insanity,” James scoffed. “The Slytherins don’t think as much as the Ravenclaws do. They’ve got a strategy, I’m sure.”

James bit his tongue. Yes, Regulus was good. But he had only joined the team this year, and James had only played him a handful of times. He had caught the snitch around twice, but Gryffindor would still win.

He wondered if the elusive Seeker would be able to propel his team to winners.

At that moment, a cheer went up from the Ravenclaws and the pair joined in. A well timed dive to the left had been able to block the first shot attempt. Sirius whooped supportively, making Remus pull his head away from Sirius. Sirius murmured an apology and Peter was clapping slightly. James and Sirius sat down, watching the back and forth game as it continued.

“Of course, I don’t want Slytherin to win. But I think they will,” Sirius went on, shrugging. A Slytherin chaser, whom James knew as Whittles, began to dart towards the hoops as the possession changed. He weaved around Regulus, who was gliding and reading the game. Applause started again as a Ravenclaw beater was able to intercept a pass.

Neither team had any points yet. Although, they were only ten minutes in. Something was bound to happen, James wagered. Especially with the competitive passion behind the match.

Obviously, James wanted Slytherin to lose. Gryffindor had beaten Hufflepuff already by quite a large margin and had secured themselves a place in the final. Now, Ravenclaw just had to beat Slytherin.

A small part of James’ support was that Gryffindor were more likely to beat Ravenclaw than Slytherin, but he didn’t like thinking about that.

James caught sight of Regulus again, who was being closely tailed by the Ravenclaw seeker. Regulus went at an almost leisurely pace, practically gliding. Was this because he was tracking the game? Or was he attempting to make it easier for his teammates to play around him? 

“He reads the game like a chessboard,” Sirius proclaimed, frowning slightly. James was inclined to agree, watching his long figure shift around the pitch.

It clearly confused the Ravenclaw seeker, a girl with blonde hair who seemed to be a Fifth year. She was darting but also attempting to be as slow as Regulus, unable to decide between marking Regulus or taking advantage of the pace he flew at. Sirius was chatting in his ear about it, but James tuned him out. No offence to Sirius, though. He probably knew he was background noise.

A Slytherin player, Nocturne had taken a shot but it had been saved by a block from a beater. Play continued, but the pace began to slow and lag. 

“Oh, I know him. He called me stupid once in a Potions lesson,” Sirius mused. 

“Really? He called me an idiot once in Fourth year!” James replied. “Wonder if he’s insulted all of us. Remus?”

Remus said nothing, and instead turned another page. 

“Moony?” Sirius said, nudging Remus with his foot. Remus looked up and blinked. 

“What?”

Sirius huffed. “You’re so boring . Five minutes watching won’t kill you.”

Remus shook his head at Sirius’ laments. “I think I’d kill myself after five minutes of watching.”

Suddenly, the Ravenclaw seeker darted one way, to the corner of the pitch. The whole stand stood up, peering over. However, before anyone could begin to think of whether she had caught the snitch or not, her pace had stopped.

“What’s going on?” Peter murmured, slightly unable to see because of his height. He blew into his hands again. “Remus, can you do that spell again? S’cold.”

Remus nodded and obliged, pointing his wand at Peter and muttering under his breath. He went back to his book, sitting down.

James saw a Ravenclaw beater approach the seeker and swing her bat. He sighed as he realised what had happened. “She almost got hit by a Quaffle. She didn’t see the snitch, sadly.”

“Ouch!” The commentator from above said. “What a narrow miss! Are things falling apart for Ravenclaw?”

Peter nodded and sat back down, along with the rest of them. 

“Moony,” Sirius hissed again, nudging his knee against Remus’. 

Remus ignored him, and turned another page. This only spurred Sirius on.

“ Moony! ”

Remus slammed his book shut. “What?”

“Rejoice! You’ve shut the dang thing,” Sirius grinned, swiping the book out of Remus’ hands. “Now you can watch.”

“Finally!” James called from beside Sirius.

Remus folded his arms. “I’ll lose my place.”

“Oh, please!” Sirius almost spat. “You’ve read that same chapter on the Giant Squid twice already, anyway.”

James nodded vigorously. “We’ll read it to you yourself if you forget where you are. We’ll even act it out. Peter can be the squid. Sirius can be the fairy in the first chapter.”

“Oi!” Peter cried, prodding James. “Why’s he the fairy?”

“I think I’d suit a fairy. Or maybe we can act out that story from Muggle Studies. The one with the frog and the…prince?” Sirius prompted, an arm slung around Remus’ hunched shoulders.

“I remember that one!” James chimed. “The Princess and the Frog. You two can do that and me and Pete will do the one with the—“

“I’ll watch if you all shut up!” Remus relented with a sigh, prodding Sirius with his wand. “You especially. And only for five minutes.”

“Well, that’s a bit difficult in a Quidditch match, but I suppose I’ll try,” Sirius responded triumphantly, placing the book back into Remus’ lap. “Five minutes starts now!”

James settled back. Plenty could happen in five minutes, but this early on was rare. Perhaps Sirius’ attempt to show the grandeur of quidditch to Remus would not work this time around. 

Remus was pursing his lips, but a hand still on his thick book and a thumb still inbetween the pages, ready to go back at any time. Sirius brushed his hand off, indignantly. When Remus raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak, Sirius interceded. “You hold onto it like it’s life-support! Eyes on the pitch, my moonshine.”

“How do you even know what life-support is,” Remus grumbled, folding his arms and looking forward.

“Muggle studies,” Sirius chuckled, before smacking James’ arm with a bright grin. A sudden change in emotion. He then opened his mouth, as if in shock.

He smacked James’ arm again, shaking his shoulder as he had done with Remus. He spoke quickly, without breaks between his words.

“Hey, look, look, look ! Regulus just fixed his hair. He’s found the snitch, I know it. Oh, he’s smoothed down his uniform. Goodness me, this’ll be good-“

“What?” James and Remus both said in unison at Sirius’ proposed suggestion. James immediately scanned the pitch. No, Regulus was only gliding as normal. The Ravenclaw seeker was lagging behind. If the snitch was found, it truly was not obvious. “Everything’s the exact same as it was ten minutes ago. Are you sure there’s not just…hair in his face?”

Sirius leaned forward, gaze following Regulus’. He was almost wild with anticipation. James tried to follow it, but saw nothing happen. The action was in the Chasers working to gain possession. Pass, intercept, pass, shoot, save. The motions that enthralled James each time.

“Something cool’s about to happen,” Sirius said to Remus, lightly shoving him as his gaze began to wander, before turning to James. “He never does that. He doesn’t care enough to. There’s a shift. I know my brother more than anyone.”

“Tosh. Every time I look, it’s the same people going the same distances and looking at the same things,” Remus retorted, looking at Sirius. 

Peter also looked confused. “Not that I know anything about this, but how? He’s just… flying .”

Sirius grabbed Remus’ chin and aimed it towards the pitch. He didn’t let go as he spoke, even as Remus tried to pry his fingers away. “I swear it, on my Marauder life. Oh, the tosser. It’s in his eyes as well. Just look!”

“That’s a dangerous thing to say,” James furrowed his eyebrows and looked again, somewhat exasperatedly. He saw nothing. Was he losing his ability to read games? “I see nothing! What are you seeing that I’m not?! You’ve suddenly gotten so hyper over absolutely nothing.”

“Just watch! It’s something. I told you, I swear it on my life. We can do an Unbreakable Vow if you’d like,” Sirius beamed, thrumming with excitement. 

“Five minutes is almost up,” Remus scoffed, but he leaned forward to take a better look. He trusted Sirius, then? Fine. Don’t trust the Quidditch captain, James thought.

James fixed his gaze on Regulus. He flicked his eyes around, the green of them dark and not reflecting the sun. Lowered. Was this what Sirius meant?

Regulus’s throat bobbed, and James could’ve sworn that from that moment on, he watched lightning. He watched something enchanted, something beyond anything he could’ve ever saw. 

Regulus was flying .

In an instant, he launched like a whiplash sideways, but balanced like a feather. A gleam of gold was scarcely visible, but it had shifted direction in an almost zigzag-like fashion, James had noticed. James had no time to rummage in his mind for how to catch the snitch. Were both Seekers doing the same thing? He couldn’t see the Ravenclaw Seeker trailing Regulus. But he also was unable to peel his eyes far from Regulus. 

If he blinked, James was sure to miss it.

“Merlin,” Remus uttered, book forgotten, eyes on the pitch.

“Well, time might be up for the Ravenclaws. The Snitch has been spotted…!”

Regulus dived suddenly down, and twisted slowly to his left, eliciting a gasp from some of the spectators. Not even Sirius was speaking right now, and even he was partial to adding his own commentary to the players.

And with that, wing-like fingers splayed out. With a flick of the broom, Regulus spun to catch the snitch, diving, turning, twisting and so much more.

“Blimey! Is that a world record?! It must be!” James heard from above, echoing over the crowd.

Uproar erupted around James as Regulus righted himself, gold struggling in his hands. But James sat stunned into rapt silence. He let out the breath he was holding, unable to keep his eyes off Regulus.

“What did I say?!” Sirius cried, eyes alight with excitement. He slapped James’ back, and whooped enthusiastically. Remus flinched much less this time and viewers in the Ravenclaw stands did give him some murderous looks, but he continued. “My brother’s a wonder. He’s giving your team a run for your money this year!”

James blinked, as even Remus weaved around Sirius to talk to James. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Sirius immediately shook Remus’ shoulder, almost sending his hat flying off. “It took him less than 13 minutes to find the snitch! What did I tell you all?!”

“Well, I’ll keep showing up if the matches are normally this short,” Remus had to almost shout, but he was smiling. “I’ve never seen anything like that in any of the matches I’m forced to watch. So he’s good then?”

James was still looking at Regulus, who was barely smiling. As each member of the team perhaps clasped his hand or cheered, he seemed to just simply nod or say something concise in return. Was he not amazed at himself? Was this normal for him?

“James?” Peter called, over the raucous chatter and cheering. 

James’ gaze snapped to him, and then he looked at Sirius and Remus. “Oh. What is it?

Sirius was still grinning. “Moony’s asking for your opinions on Regulus. Is Prongs’ opinion not clear? He looks like his soul’s been sucked out of him by one of those things. I dunno the name…”

“A dementor,” Remus filled in, hands over his ears. Regulus’ whirlwind of an act produced an applause too strong even for the enchanted earmuffs. “That’s true. Are you alright, James? Are you…scared, or something?”

“I’m not scared! I just…” James paused. “He practically melted into the broom! What manoeuvre was that, even? I’ve never seen it before! Not even I can do that!”

Remus cocked his head slightly. “So you’re jealous? What, are you mad at him?”

James watched as Regulus did his victory lap in reluctant admiration. The conversation swirling around him died down into white noise as he began to lose himself in his questions.

What? How? Why? 

“…we leaving then? James?” 

“I think we’ve lost him,” Sirius stated. “Well, you know how he gets about Quidditch.”

“James?” Peter said, nudging him. “What are you thinking about?”

When the teams landed and began to disperse, James nodded to himself. “I’m going over to talk to him.”

“What?” Remus questioned. He was carrying his book now, ready to leave. “No, you’re not. We’re all leaving.”

“What do you mean? I want to talk to him. You can go on without me,” James retorted, taking a step forward.

Remus shook his head. “Do you honestly think he wants to talk to you? Come off it. He’ll just think you’re being arrogant, or that you’re jealous and want to find out how to do it.”

Sirius nodded and gestured for James to follow him. But how could James leave?

Besides, arrogance ? James wasn’t going to talk to Regulus because of his arrogance! Far from it! Was he not allowed to just congratulate him? 

Yes , James wanted to know how he had done it, but it wasn’t because of his jealousy. He still had many good Quidditch moves in his arsenal, even if he couldn’t do whatever Regulus had done. 

He probably was not going to try and learn what Regulus had done. But, he had to find out what Regulus had done first of all. 

"‘What ‘arrogance’? That’s absurd,” James sputtered, his eyes widening as he flung an arm out to emphasize his point. He fought to keep his voice steady, but a twinge of discomfort settled in his stomach. ‘I just want to talk to him. What’s wrong with that?’"

Remus took a breath and pursed his lips. “It’s not us saying this. It’s more the general public.”

“Well, luckily I don’t care much for the general public,” James scoffed, about to take another step before Remus stepped in front of James.

“James, he doesn’t like you. Much like the other Slytherins,” Remus commented drily, as if this was something obvious. It very well was not. 

James replayed past interactions in his head. Did Regulus not look at everyone with a blank stare? Was it not normal for Regulus to frown in distaste when people approached? 

He had never considered how Regulus viewed him, he realised. With a jolt, he realised that he didn’t know Regulus at all.

He also why Regulus disliked him. It was almost unfathomable. The Slytherins not liking him was fair enough. But Regulus? Sirius’ brother? How could Sirius’ own flesh and blood not like him if Sirius liked him so much?

James felt a pinch of hurt . He had remembered always liking Regulus, occasionally trying to speak to him since he was a Second year. What had Regulus thought about him this whole time?

He had viewed Regulus as the striking, younger Seeker with a flair for Quidditch. James had thought of him as cool , occasionally. He had also admired him, slightly.

James cleared his throat, ignoring the slight flush he felt.

“That’s absurd! We barely know each other! I’ve never done anything to him!”

Sirius snorted, and James shot him a bewildered look. Sirius, in his typical nonchalant manner, shrugged. 'How do I put this? You’re sort of the model example of a perfect Gryffindor.' The words hung in the air, leaving James to grapple with the unexpected notion that his Gryffindor image might not be universally celebrated. “Tall, handsome, good at Quidditch… but people say you’re also…”

“Cocky?” Peter quipped, smiling slightly. James wasn’t smiling.

“Arrogant is more the word,” Remus said, frowning thoughtfully. 

James opened his mouth in horror at Remus. “I’m not arrogant !” 

Peter giggled from behind him. However, James heard a thump which must have come from Sirius, and Peter stopped giggling.

“Well, you’re not humble ,” Remus replied, but slowly as if he was explaining to a child that too many Chocolate Frogs are bad for them. James had received this talk when he was younger.

“Who’s even told you this? It’s not my fault I’m tall, handsome and the Quidditch captain!” James grumbled. “Why don’t people say this to my face?”

“There. Sirius said that you’re good at Quidditch. You said you’re the Quidditch captain ,” Remus laughed. Sirius laughed. Peter also let out a laugh, to top it all off.

Brilliant. His friends were laughing at him.

James ran a hand through his hair, absolutely perplexed. “ What? ”

Peter piped up, his voice breaking the tense atmosphere. “Well, that’s a prime example. You mention the fact that you’re captain all the time. Like it makes you better than us.” He hesitated, glancing at Remus and Sirius before continuing, “Of course, we don’t mind. But to other people…” 

“Don’t get me wrong, we love you, Prongs. Many people do!” Sirius interrupted, supposedly attempting to be comforting. “But sometimes you can come across as a bit of a twat to outsiders, you know? And that just means that Regulus sees it too. So…he probably thinks you’re a right tosser.”

Remus pushed Sirius’ shoulder. “You too, you know. The pair of you.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Anyhow, can we go inside now? We can talk about how annoying we both are in the warm Common Room. We’ve been up since sunrise. I want to sleep .”

James stood stunned by his friend’s words. Perhaps he was sometimes far too overcome by his own victories. He felt discomfort settle in his stomach. He thought the Slytherins were cocky, arrogant and overall annoying, but those were only James’ attributes all along.

“Blimey. I had no idea,” James professed, mostly to himself. His friends began to filter out from the stands onto the ground. He trailed slightly behind. The new revelation that had been revealed to him still hadn’t driven him from his idea to talk to Regulus, though. “So does that mean I shouldn’t go and talk to him?”

“I think not. But…” Remus turned to look at him and sighed again. They all stopped walking. “…if you want to talk to him, then go ahead. Try not to seem like an idiot, though.”

Sirius nodded. “He likes poems. Maybe if you come up with a poem—“

Remus thumped him. 

Sirius yelped. “He’s not daft enough to actually do it! I’m joking!”

“I imagine he is. No offence, James.”

James ignored the urge to roll his eyes. “Something about my arrogance?”

The three of his friends nodded. 

“You’re just as arrogant!” Remus hissed to Sirius, turning to him. “You’re one to talk.” 

Sirius turned away and shrugged, making James suddenly wish he was as nonchalant as Sirius. But James quite enjoyed being himself, he realised.

Was that arrogance?

“I think Reggie’s probably in the changing rooms,” Sirius said in an attempt to be helpful. “But I don’t think the team will take kindly to the Gryffindor captain barging in.”

James nodded, even though he already knew that. He refrained from saying it, lest he face another barrage of commentary on his personality. “I’ll wait here then.”

Peter narrowed his eyes and looked at the Slytherin changing rooms afar and back to James. “That’s a bit weird, don’t you think?”

Sirius tutted and slung an arm over Peter. “I’m sure he knows how to survive in the wild. Be safe, Prongs. Don’t let Reggie eat you.” 

James frowned a bit at the playful jab. Did Regulus hate him enough to do something like that? 

All his life, James had been used to being sort of in charge of how his friendships worked. If James liked someone, he’d become friends with them and they’d just like each other. It would just work better that way. He thought it was an almost guaranteed way of making friends. You couldn’t say it didn’t work. James had plenty.

But now, he discovered, it wasn’t as simple for everyone. James liked Regulus. Regulus didn’t like him. The fact made his skin prickle. 

His friends' banter faded into the background as James found himself waiting for a shift in the winds of friendship, more elusive than the Golden Snitch that Regulus had caught. 

James nodded and began to walk away.

Remus was right. 

James was daft.

Chapter Text

“…know him. He’s the captain for goodness’ sake!”

“Well, I hardly know what you want me to do. Everyone must have walked past him. He must have come after I left. Merlin, he looks like a corpse..”

“Is that worry I’m hearing from you? You’ve gone soft for him, Regulus…”

A thump, and silence.

“I’m only here because Dorcas told me to help him out.”

More silence.

“We will check if he is…alright. Then we can leave.”

“Your wish is my command! Besides, I wouldn’t miss this. Bloody hilarious…”

A light, soft sensation was in James’ mind. He pushed the clouds away and thought. That name was familiar, he could have sworn, as he drifted between that hazy place between sleep and wake.

Who was speaking? 

He heard a whisper from above him, but could scarcely hear it. 

James forced open bleary eyes and blinked. A black sky was above him, stars fluttering above. It was only 8pm before he left his friends. How could it have changed so drastically…?

As James’ vision focused, he realised with a jolt.

A snicker from by a tree made James almost sit up with alarm.

James had fallen asleep. And there, standing before him was a boy, rocking on his heels, brushing a hand through black locks, standing by someone to the left. 

Folded arms. Looking away. Dark hair smoothed, but locks spilling out charmingly.

Regulus.

His features remained composed and still, even as he began to look at James. He flicked his gaze up and down, not saying anything.

“Good sleep?” The boy to Regulus’ right smirked, reaching out a hand for James to take. James blinked hard, half to get the sleep out of his eyes, half in shock, and took it. James was immediately pulled up onto his feet. 

James stood on the hard soil, adjusting his glasses and smoothing down his robes. The grey, stone wall next to James must have been what James slept against. He offered a shaky smile to both of them, but mainly looking at Regulus. Regulus’ gaze was still harsh, betraying nothing.

“The grass makes for a harder mattress than I’m used to,” James half smiled, shrugging lazily in an attempt to inject ease into their interaction. James swallowed.

The boy’s lips curled up. “I’m Bartemius Crouch. But just call me Barty. No need to introduce yourself, Potter,” he added.

James nodded and turned to Regulus. He opened his mouth and closed it.

Immediately, James cursed himself for being so awkward . What was he meant to say? 

Oh yeah, I loved your Quidditch move. Mind teaching me?

You fly well. What’s that move you did?

Your hair looks nice. Mind teaching me to be good at Quidditch? Not that I’m not good already. I am the captain, after all.

James inwardly winced at what he was thinking. He took a breath and decided to just speak.

“Good game, Regulus?” 

Regulus locked his steely gaze with James’. He studied him silently. “Did you not see? It is a common fact that you attend every game.”

“Ah,” James grinned, trying to emulate casual confidence. Regulus’ quick response caught him off guard. Now James had to say something, but he didn’t know what. Where had his arrogance gone? James cleared his throat. “I just…wanted to know your point of view.”

“Yes. It was good,” Regulus said, nodding slightly. He still did not look away. Still inspecting. James felt the hairs on his neck stand up.

James rolled his stiff shoulders, somewhat regretting sleeping on such a hard surface. “How long was I asleep…?”

“About an hour,” Barty cut in smoothly, even though James had mostly directed the question at himself . Barty continued. “That’s what our team was all saying, anyway. You must have been tired, huh?”

James chuckled, looking down at the ground. “Well, we had a small practice in the morning. Woke up quite early.”

At least that part was easy to say. Forcing his teammates to wake up bright and early to practice before the Slytherins could not be forgotten or lied about.

James smiled. He still felt a small flush from embarrassment, but he thought he played it off well.

Barty nodded. Regulus stayed nervingly still.

“Well, why are you here then, if you don’t mind me asking? It’s not everyday the Gryffindor captain falls asleep in the snake’s den ,” Barty asked with mock flair.

James paused. Talking to a Slytherin was very different to talking to any other house. When talking to them, it was as if they had you figured out and they knew what you were going to say. It was clear, with how fast things were moving, that James had probably been “ figured out” .

Barty still looked at him with a smile and crinkled eyes, to his credit. Perhaps the exact opposite of Regulus at this moment.

“To talk to Regulus,” James hurriedly threw out, immediately looking at him. Evan let out a breathy laugh that James heard but didn’t see. 

James shot them both a lopsided grin. Only Barty seemed to return it.

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

James had reached a blockade. He barely knew the answer to that question, but he also barely had time to consider his answer. 

To learn from Regulus. To be friends with Regulus. Because he had nothing else better to do.

It was as if some unknown timer was ticking down as he took longer and longer to respond. Barty shared a glance with Regulus, making James hurriedly think quicker of what to say in discomfort. Were they judging him?

“It’s about Quidditch,” James answered rather pathetically.

Barty let out another laugh, but louder. “Well, Reg’s your man for that. Our man of the match! Future captain. Future star -!”

Regulus shoved Evan, making him step sidewards a bit. It may have looked humorous in another situation, but James did not feel inclined to laugh.

He stood, looking at Regulus. Regulus looked at him back, frowning slightly. He cleared his throat.

Very tense. And it hardly helped that Barty had mouthed that exact thing to James. Barty was quite funny, James would give him that. But he still felt like he was about to be mauled to death.

Regulus opened his mouth to speak. “I’m sure you know enough already.”

He then backed away, inclining his head for him and Barty to leave. 

“Bye then!” Barty smiled. “Nice chatting. We’re both glad you’re not a corpse.”

James took a step forward to where Regulus was turning himself to walk away. How could this already be over? After an hour of waiting (or sleeping), and James putting himself through five minutes of awkward conversation, Regulus was just leaving ?

“Wait- no,” James called, scrambling to keep up. “I still want to talk about Quidditch-!”

Regulus fully turned and held a hand up. “Another time, perhaps.”

“Tomorrow!” James announced, as a last line of defence as they walked on, either ignoring him or not hearing him. Regulus’ tall figure quickly got smaller and smaller. James debated running after them but decided to relent.

Regulus walked briskly, James thought, as if he was running from something. He heaved a sigh.

James had failed. He had been left in the dust. Well, in the soil , to be more literal. 

Regulus and Sirius were far too different from one another, James realised. He’d have to try another way to get Regulus’ attention.

Which was fine, as James was rather good at grabbing people’s attention.

** 

A rustle of paper sounded in James’ ears as the boy next to him, Summers, dropped a folded up sheet, no more than a few centimeters in width and height onto James’ desk.

James nodded as a sort of thanks and opened it when he was sure that he was not being watched. He saw small, scrawled handwriting. Remus’ probably. 

Smart people had bad handwriting, he had learned somewhere. He then read the letters on the note.

whatever you plan to do please don’t do it if it’s stupid

“Stupid” was underlined thickly. James blinked at the note and looked around the room for the culprit. When he looked the the corner of the Runes classroom, he saw Remus locking eyes with him. James gave him a confused expression, so as to say “What?” but Remus raised an eyebrow and looked away, so as to say, “I’m not an idiot.”

James hurriedly turned away, before the Professor could turn around. He folded up the note and went back to his translation that he had been half-heartedly focusing on for the past half an hour. James flicked his quill back and forth between this thumb and index finger. He had other things to think on.

James then propped his head on his hand upon the oak desk. It had always faintly smelled of must in this room, as well as books. Like a library, but older.

James scanned his page of runes, studying them with a somewhat occupied mind. To get something done, he looked at the branches twisting towards the left and the inner square and wrote, “ A journey. A path leading to new discoveries. ”

James pursed his lips and brushed his quill along the table, absent-mindedly. James also had a journey to go on. But perhaps saying that was a little dramatic.

As the professor walked next to his desk, James hurriedly scribbled down a random sentence after a few feigned contemplative hums and mutterings.

The Professor walked away, leaving James to his thoughts again. The note on his table. James flicked it away, onto the floor and immediately regretted it. What if someone else saw it, and took it seriously? James didn’t really want to discourage a random person from their endeavours. Oh well.

Remus clearly knew what James was planning to do. 

James hadn’t explicitly said what his plan was, nor did he know himself what it was, but he had still spent time across the whole day thinking about what to do. Quickly, after getting back to the Dorm Room, James relayed what had went on, much to the amusement of his friends who giggled throughout the whole thing.

Then, he had spent the whole of his breakfast thinking about how to find Regulus. Then he had spent Potions thinking the same, albeit distracted whilst forming his potion. It had turned a murky, grey colour. It also smelled a bit strange.

Now James was in Runes, across the room from Remus who had somehow put all of what he had done together to find out that he was plotting something. But he would still continue, regardless.

Besides, Remus should not have been so against it. James bonding with Regulus would not be that bad of a thing. Even though that was not really what James was doing.

James had sort of lied a bit to his friends. Repairing a broken bridge between him and Regulus seemed like a better reason to talk to him than just wanting to learn Quidditch from him, for some reason. He didn’t think that the excuse would work, but it surprisingly did. 

And now that it did, what would James do? He drove himself into the same circles about how to approach Regulus, what to say, what to do. His translation had been long forgotten.

James was not being stupid . He was sure that his plan would work. It was not a hard, nor complex plan anyhow. 78% success rate, he garnered. James had not calculated it, though.

“Alright,” Professor Steele announced, with a tight, worn voice. “Class is dismissed. Please finish the translation for homework. Each rune must be defined clearly. Any questions…? Yes, Dulay…”

Clamour immediately erupted between the students. James almost jumped up to pack up his pieces of parchment, folding them up to place in his bag. He weaved past the students around him and exited the room.

It was almost freeing to be in an area with fresher air, James acknowledged. He continued to walk, thinking more to himself until a voice called out. James cursed himself for thinking about everything except what to tell Remus.

“James,” Remus placed a hand on his shoulder. James turned, trying to make his face as calm as possible. 

Remus then moved his arm away, waiting for James to say something.

“Yeah?” James said, giving Remus a lopsided grin. The same gesture that he had given Barty and Regulus. James pushed the thought to the back of his mind. 

Remus raised both eyebrows expectantly. “Are you going to explain, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”

James frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t wait for me.”

“Sorry. Forgot,” James’ attempt to avoid the confrontation he had been dreading seemed futile. 

“It’s Regulus again, isn’t it?” Remus groaned. “What am I going to tell Sirius? That you’re chasing his little brother around?”

“Exactly that,” James grinned, putting a hand on Remus’ arm. “Besides, what do you mean again ?”

Remus shook his head. “Never mind. Just go. Don’t be an idiot, please.”

James smiled at Remus and let him walk away. The smile dropped when Remus left. Now what?

He supposed that he should start looking on the floor he was on. He had around five minutes, he wagered. 

James began to trod through the dimly lit corridor, looking around. Black hair was mostly his criteria, and he almost had a heart attack whenever he found it, for some reason. However, James would peer for a second longer and see that it was not, in fact, Regulus.

James weaved around more corridors and then decided to check where most students would be. The Great Hall. Many corridors intersected at that point, James had found after preparing many pranks in the area for so long in his earlier years. 

James passed a Hogsmeade notice, and put the thought to check in the back of his mind. He’s quite busy right now. He diverts away from the crowd next to it and walks on. Regulus was not there. Was Regulus the type to visit Hogsmeade? Possibly not. There was no black hair that belonged to Regulus in the crowd, so James was already moving on.

James turned a corner and spotted a distant figure up ahead.

Black hair, brisk stride. James froze slightly as he peered to take a closer look.

It must have been. The sheer aura, perhaps, or the familiar robes. 

He walked alone, his striking figure standing out from the crowd. His hair was smoothed again, not as many unruly locks as last time they had met. 

“Excuse me, excuse me!” James muttered with bridled urgency as he weaved and darted around an array of different students.

James paused as he came up behind Regulus, debating how to best announce his presence. James shook his thoughts away. No need to think. When he didn’t think, he was less awkward . 

He hung back, not wanting to startle him. But he realised that doing that would be far too strange. So he just spoke.

“Reg!” James greeted, slightly louder than perhaps was needed. Regulus flinched slightly and turned around. He backed a step away and opened his mouth, almost seething, to correct James.

“ Regulus .”

“No, I’m James ,” James winked, leaning against the wall. James inwardly applauded himself for such wit . Regulus didn’t seem amused, though. A corner of his mouth curled down, and he looked away from James. 

Sirius would be amused.

Okay, so perhaps making Regulus laugh was not the tactic here.

Regulus watched James closely. “And my name is Regulus .”

He did not move, and eyed James warily. He looked down at the ground and began to move away from James. 

James took a step forward. He couldn’t just give up. “Somewhere important to be?”

“Class.” 

James cursed himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course he had known. What else had he been thinking about lately?

Regulus continued to walk down the corridor, and James followed. He inserted himself into the position next to Regulus, so that they now walked together. 

They fell into step, something of an awkward dance. They did not walk in sync. James took larger strides than Regulus did because of his height. He found that slightly funny.

Regulus abruptly stopped, almost whipping to turn to James. “Why are you here?”

In James’ opinion, Regulus’ mind worked far too rapidly. He got wary too quickly, retorted too quickly and reacted too quickly too. Part of what made him a good Seeker, James surmised.

“I’d like to talk,” James responded, shrugging again, nonchalantly. So far, James thought he was doing a good job of not thinking too much. Even if this conversation was extremely forced.

Regulus’ eyes narrowed again, by the smallest fraction. He nodded and continued to walk. “Speak, then. Be quick about it. I have a lesson.”

“What lesson?” James inquired. He winced at Regulus' sharp intake of breath, as if his patience was being tested. But, James soldiered on. What was James if not a soldier?

“Arithmancy,” Regulus answered after a pause. James raised his eyebrows.

“Do you like it?” James suddenly asked. James didn’t know the answer because he didn’t know Regulus at all. He felt a twinge of…something at that fact.

Regulus gave a curt nod as he began to approach the stairwell.

Regulus stayed silent, and James thought he would not get a response and began to prepare to scramble for conversation again. But Regulus spoke. 

“Do you?”

James’ eyes widened in glee as he realised that Regulus was actually talking. They were having a proper conversation, to an extent. A beat passed and James chuckled slightly. “I don’t do it. Remus does though. Looks hard.”

Regulus nodded. “Will that be all?”

James sighed. Regulus was asking him to leave, James supposed.

“Not quite,” James answered weakly, taking the first step of the stairs alongside Regulus. 

Regulus huffed- perhaps a laugh. James frowned to himself, until he felt a sudden spike in his mind, distracting him.

James found himself airborne for a split second. 

James flailed an arm out for balance and yelped as he put a leg through the step. His foot fell right through.

As if this interaction couldn’t get any worse, James had to go and fall into the invisible step, something he hadn’t fallen in for years .

He shut his eyes at the impact, and the clamouring in his head to the tune of I’m about to die, I’m falling, I’m falling!

An iron grip clamped around James’ upper arm, steadying him and forcing him out of his thoughts. His alarm dissipated slightly, as he took a breath. A part of his foot was on the step before the invisible one. Regulus had angled him towards said step, and James steadied a leg on it, eternally grateful.

James’ ears grew hot as he realised that 1. he had stepped onto the invisible step like an oblivious First year , and 2. Regulus had saved him. Yet again. If checking if he was alive counted as “saving”.

Also, James had probably been very dramatic about it.

When James dared look at Regulus, he found lips pressed thin, and eyes narrowed even more. James locked eyes with Regulus for a long beat. His striking features were still as unreadable as ever.

 “You fell,” he spoke calmly and smoothly. James almost found the fact that Regulus had said this quite funny. No shit, Regulus.

“I forgot about the step,” James stepped forwards onto the step above, still dazed. “You saved me.”

Regulus let go of his shoulder. James could feel his blood rushing back to the spot where Regulus’ hand was. He could’ve sworn he still felt Regulus’ hand, like a phantom seizing him. 

“Try not to get used to it,” Regulus commented drily, walking on. James frowned at the comment and walked with him, occasionally looking down to see if Regulus skipped any steps. 

James had embarrassed himself again in front of Regulus. He had planned to get his attention, yes, but not in this way. Perhaps he would not relay this tale to his friends in the Dorm Room.

They walked on and James found himself mute. He hoped that he was not the only one who found himself silenced in Regulus’ presence.

“Got any friends in arithmancy?” James asked. His mind wanted to ask about Quidditch, but something stopped him. Making small talk with Regulus seemed like a more attractive action. 

Besides, Remus had told James that if he asked about Quidditch directly, it would seem like he was jealous. And James wasn’t that jealous. Just a tad.

Remus took a breath. “Yes. Evan and Barty.”

James frowned slightly and didn’t know why. He forced out a laugh. “Well, you’re popular, aren’t you?”

If Regulus had friends, why was it increasingly hard for James to become added to this list? James steadied himself, trying to adopt Regulus’ stoic demeanour. Sadly, it did not fit James well at all.

“Extremely, Potter,” Regulus replied, dry humour edging his tone. James felt a corner of his lips perk up. “Two people is an insurmountable number.”

The two approached a room with an open, grey door and a handful of people inside. 

If this was Regulus’ room, he did not make it clear and he continued to approach. 

James had no idea what to respond or what to say. This was over far too quickly. James had imagined a much longer conversation, perhaps in another place, and perhaps without any invisible steps that James would fall into.

“Your room?” James followed Regulus further. As Regulus turned slightly to go in, it became clear that it was. 

It became even clearer when Regulus nodded to go inside, stepping over the doorway. “Yes.”

“Wait!” James exclaimed, drawing the attention of a few students inside the room. James didn’t take the time to consider why. 

Regulus sighed and stepped away from the door to let someone past, and half to speak to James, he hoped. Regulus had his back against the wall, and James moved to be opposite him.

James swallowed. He had the impending feeling that he was wasting Regulus’ precious time. “Well. I, um, still haven’t spoken to you.”

Regulus raised his left eyebrow. His eyebrows were rather thin, James noticed. They matched his high cheekbones, if that made sense. “You have.”

“No, about Quidditch,” James corrected, inwardly cursing himself for not clarifying. Regulus must have now understood, as he gave James a knowing nod.

Regulus looked to his class and back to James. His icy glare unnerved him, grey eyes narrowed. 

“Another time.”

“Is that a promise?”

Regulus sighed. “The Quidditch move was The Crow’s Wing Manoeuvre . That is what you wanted to ask, no?”

James blinked. So he had not hidden anything very well, he realised. 

“Er…yes,” James replied, thrown off balance. He looked for something to say, attempting to get the conversation to prolong.

If James had been figured out so quickly, had he failed or succeeded? He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and tried to prevent Regulus from going to his lesson. James was late sometimes. Regulus could be too.

“I’ve never heard of that before,” James said, which was the truth. 

“I would not expect you to,” Regulus almost chided jokingly. James widened his eyes as Regulus continued speaking. “It has only been used once. There is rarely an opportunity to use it.”

Regulus and James were different. But they were also the same. 

It was like a frozen shield had been put around Regulus, and it had only been reinforced as James attempted to chip away at it. However, James had managed to thaw it.

By talking about Quidditch.

It was clear from how Regulus suddenly seemed interested in James, willing to share more than three words with him, as well as unnecessary details. There was a small, minuscule glint in his eyes like a single reflection of light in a deserted cavern. James couldn’t help but grin.

“I thought it was a feint, at first. Was that on purpose?” James questioned, cocking his head slightly. He hung onto every word, with rapt attention.

Remus had told James that Regulus disliked him, he remembered. The unwelcome thought almost flustered James, but he batted it away in order to better focus on Regulus. 

Regulus pursed his lips, considering. “You do feign one, if that makes sense. You then abruptly roll, if there is ample space between the players. It all depends on their positioning.”

James opened his mouth to speak again, but Regulus interrupted him. “I must go to my lesson.”

“Fine,” James almost groaned, threading a hand through his hair. “Can we…speak again?”

James looked at Regulus, almost fearfully. He half expected a no , but also expected a yes .

Regulus was very complicated.

“If time allows,” Regulus returned to his placid mask, blinking at James. As vague and enigmatic as ever. “I won’t…mind as much, next time.”

James felt a rise of muted joy at those words.

“Bye, then,” James blurted as Regulus swept away, but now only seeming more reachable. 

James stepped away from the door and leaned against the wall. He had succeeded, in some sort of way. And only in five minutes. James grinned to himself. He began to go to the Dorm, debating whether to tell his friends or not.

He replayed his half-stilted, half-friendly conversation with Regulus in his mind.

There was definitely a reason for James to continue. Regulus had said as much, hadn’t he? For two days, James had progressed well. 

Even though it was brief, James could sense the shift. James headed back to the Dorm Room, a lightness in his chest. 

Regulus wouldn’t mind. 

Call it a hunch, but James thought time would definitely allow for them to meet again.

Chapter Text

The library was a place that James certainly did not frequent. No, it was more a place for Lily Evans or Remus to thrive in.

James sat opposite Sirius, of whom sat by Remus as usual. Peter was the the left of James, pausing every now and then to ask how a certain word was spelled. James and Sirius had splayed arms over the polished, wooden table. 

Remus had decided to get some revision done, since he would be gone for a full moon and would have to be occupied with recovering. James and Sirius shared the opinion that this was stupid. Why would you revise if you had an excuse not to?

Sunlight filtered through the high windows, illuminating sheets of parchment and quills scattered upon the table. Sirius was tapping rhythmically, a sign that he was bored. James was also bored.

A page fluttered in Remus’ book. He pursed his lips and began to write some more. James scoffed.

“It’s been an hour, Moony. Set me free,” he whispered with faux despair. He only whispered because of the fear of Madam Prince shooting up and kicking them all out for causing a ruckus “again” . Honestly, James would have preferred being kicked out, but because he was very loyal to his friends, he controlled himself.

Remus tilted his head to the side. “It has been twenty minutes, James.”

“More like twenty thousand ,” Sirius huffed, leaning back in his chair. James indicated to Sirius and nodded, to emphasise his agreement. 

Remus laughed slightly, and went back to scribbling down on his parchment. “If you’re bored, then do something productive. Besides, you two came because you both wanted to. And James, you said you’d do your homework.”

James thought back to his Runes homework that had been left incomplete for two days now. He had not paid any attention to the lesson where they had looked at the meaning of some hidden branch in every rune. His mind was preoccupied. James’ mind was still preoccupied for the same reason.

It had been two days since James had spoken to Regulus. He had been biding his time to a certain extent, waiting for Regulus to present himself to him. 

Only now, this seemed an awful idea. He had overestimated Regulus, even though James had been given every reason to underestimate him. James sighed.

“Don’t have any homework, mate. What are you on about?”

Remus rolled his eyes, not looking away from his work. “Your Runes homework from the day you hunted Regulus down. I haven’t forgotten.” 

Sirius perked up at the mention of his brother. James had relayed his talk with Regulus, but hadn’t gotten into depth with it. He felt as if Sirius would take it…strangely. For some reason, James felt that his urge to be friends with Regulus might displease Sirius. 

It hadn’t helped that Sirius seemed distant every time that James spoke about him. He listened, but it was mostly Remus and Peter who asked questions. James couldn’t think why, but he let it slide. It was as if Sirius seemed wary.

“Oh yeah,” Sirius nodded. “What’s the move he did called, again?”

“ Crow’s Wing Manoeuvre,” James recited, almost from memory. He had thought about it almost non-stop. Obviously, he had no idea of seeing it in action so he thought back to Regulus carrying it out.

Lately, all of his thoughts directed back to Regulus. 

“Never heard of it,” Sirius hummed. 

“Do you know how to do it?” Peter asked. James ruefully shook his head. However, acknowledging that he could not do the move was now less humiliating than it had been before.

Sirius began to tap again on the table, to the tune of the heightened grandfather clock’s ticks. James joined in, tapping in between Sirius’ taps, half because he was bored and half because he knew it would lead to him escalating the “beat”, and that would provide ample entertainment at the moment.

Peter looked at them, shook his head, and went back to his homework. James could’ve sworn he insulted them under his breath, but he couldn’t hear.

Sirius grinned. He clearly knew what was going through James’ mind as he suddenly began to use his other hand to provide a slightly louder beat in the background. James did the same, but tapped rapidly twice.

“Shut up,” Remus muttered, still not looking at them. 

“This is art,” Sirius snickered, but he suddenly lost his rhythm. “Oh, come on. You’ve bloody ruined it now!”

James sighed at Remus in mock disappointment. “It’s just like you to ruin everything.”

“Remus the ruiner,” Sirius said, with a barking laugh, which made James laugh too. Remus was not amused.

“Quiet!” A shrill voice sounded from Madam Pince. Her bespectacled face came into view. “If I hear such a racket from you boys again, you’ll be out !”

Remus nodded and so did Peter.

As she stalked away, James and Sirius shared another look. James had to stifle a laugh by looking down at the table and at a discarded piece of paper. Peter had attempted his Herbology essay, but had decided that it was far too difficult, and gave up.

Remus huffed and went back to his work, but not before shooting James a stern look. “If you put as much work into your work as you did with mucking about, you’d be a force to be reckoned with. Now shush .”

“As much effort as you put into stalking Regulus,” Sirius quipped, looking downwards.

“Hey!” James responded, but with a whispered shout, mouth opening with shock. “I don’t stalk anyone .”

“I’d hope you’re not stalking my brother,” Sirius announced, also quietly, eyeing James. 

James got the idea that this was somewhat premeditated, something that Sirius had been thinking on. However, James did not understand why, which was shocking to him. It was a rare occasion when they didn’t understand one another.

A thump sounded from under the table. Remus had kicked Sirius, probably. 

James held his hands up in surrender. “Never have. Never will.”

“Hmm…”

“I’m not!” James whispered, and winced. 

“Is there an “e” in opportunity?” Peter asked quietly, looking up. Remus shook his head, and Peter nodded in thanks and went back to his work. Remus shot them another stern look, and went back to writing.

Sirius shrugged, but the nonchalance of the act was not clear. “I never said you did. But you do keep talking about him.”

“I don’t even talk about him all that much,” James retorted, trying as hard as he could to keep at a whisper. It was becoming difficult. 

“You keep talking about your… missions and how you’re planning to get his attention. And you asked Marlene about him in practice.”

James thought back to Marlene’s reaction in Quidditch practice. She was very curious, as was her nature, but James had managed to divert her.

“Because I’m trying to find him,” James hissed.

“See? You don’t even need to find him. You’re plenty good at Quidditch without him. You can tell me if you’re like… jealous , or something…” Sirius grumbled back, folding his arms and looking away. James felt a rise of indignation at Sirius’ gesture. 

“Jealous?!” James snapped, whisper rising. “I’m not jealous of him. I told you, I just want to speak to him.”

“Well you’re not telling me why!”

Remus looked up and slammed his quill on the table, quietly somehow. “If you want to fight over Regulus , then pick another place to do it. Otherwise, shut up.”

“We aren’t fighting over Regulus,” Sirius hissed, turning to look away from James and towards Remus. 

Remus looked at Sirius for a beat and went back to writing. “Do some homework, or something. I’m nearly finished, anyhow. Peter?”

Remus gave Peter a stare.

“Me too,” he said, now scribbling a bit faster. James sighed and got out his Runes homework out of his bag. Straggled lines were splayed on the page, and James’ mind tried to make sense of them.

He saw a rune with a lightning bolt-like symbol in the middle. It also had a curved line angled towards the left.

Change , James wrote on the line next to it. Either a positive or negative alteration to something .

Sirius was still sitting and doing nothing. He moved his index finger around the table, watching it. “You can just tell me, you know. Instead of making me guess.”

James bristled at Sirius’ words. He remembered to lower his voice as Remus’ eyes flicked up to him. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do!”

Remus looked up and fixed his jaw. “I will personally throw both of you out if you don’t shut up.”

“I’ve told you everything,” James put down his quill.

Sirius folded his arms and looked at James. “No, you haven’t.”

“I’ve no idea what you’re insinuating. Why don’t you just tell me what you’re thinking?” James inquired back, trying to put emphasis on every word. Sirius only narrowed his eyes. “Where is this even coming from?!”

Remus nudged Sirius, but Sirius ignored him. He instead clenched his teeth and spoke through them. “You’re bloody obsessive about my brother. I’ve seen this before. We all have!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” James cried, but this came out without a whisper. This only fueled Sirius’ anger, it seemed.

“Oh, come on! You want to shag my brother, don’t you?” Sirius replied through clenched teeth. His accusation exploded through the library. Heads turned to look.

James recoiled back in shock. “That’s ridiculous!” He shot back.

“Is it really? You’re obsessed! You’ve been following him around for a week!”

“I am not obsessed!” James shouted back. The volume was only increasing.

“Can both of you stop ?” Remus said, putting a hand on Sirius’ shoulder, but Sirius shrugged it off.

“Why else would you be chasing my brother around?!” Sirius retorted, now shouting also. People turned to look, but James went on.

“To talk!”

“About what? His pretty hair? His nice eyes? His Quidditch skills?” Sirius cried. He stood up and gestured to James, before a bellow sounded from Peter’s direction. “Last time you said this, you were talking about marrying Lily Ev —”

James also stood up, but a shout cut through the library.

“SILENCE!”

All heads cut to her as she stomped towards the four of them. Her face was purple out of rage, and she bared her teeth as she spoke.

Remus opened his mouth, either to apologise or to plead his innocence, but he was quickly interrupted. 

“I have had enough! Out! Now! And you shan’t be allowed back in for the rest of this week!” She bellowed.

“It’s a Sunday,” Remus muttered under his breath, whilst packing his things. Madam Pince either  pretended not to hear or didn’t. The old bat probably couldn’t hear, James wagered.

The four of them began to trudge out, James picking up his bag. He walked out, coincidentally beside Remus. He swallowed, trying not to think. Besides, maybe Remus’ cool head could help James out.

The doors fell shut with a thud as they exited the library. Remus quickly spoke, not giving anyone else time to say anything. “Quiet. Both of you. Yelling and screaming won’t solve anything. Just…explain. Calmly, James.”

Peter nodded. 

James scowled as they stalked down the corridor, in a silence that was far too peculiar for them. “It’s none of Padfoot’s business who I’m talking to.”

“It is when you’re talking to my damn brother!”

Remus sighed. “Please be quieter, before Pince decides to kick us out of the school this time.”

James frowned as they reached the Common Room. Remus muttered the password, and they all slid in. They took seats next to a window. Remus was by Sirius as always, and Peter sat in an armchair by himself. So did James, but he was opposite Sirius.

Sirius immediately turned to James. “I don’t trust whatever’s going on here.”

Remus opened his mouth to speak but James interrupted him. 

How could Sirius not trust his own brother ? James swore to himself that he wasn’t trying anything.

About what? His pretty hair? His nice eyes?

The statement made James’ ears grow even hotter. Out of anger, probably.

“I don’t see why not. Trust has nothing to do with this anyway. I’m just speaking to him!”

Sirius clenched his fist. He stepped forward, and Remus had to push him back, a hand on his chest. Sirius blinked in surprise, but went back to James in a split second, as if his anger had roused again. His face contorted into a frown.

“You’re more interested in him than you are in your own best friends!”

Remus cut in. “That’s not true, and you know it. Lower your—”

“I spend every waking moment with the three of you!” James retorted, with a gesture to all of them. Peter looked between the both of them, unsure of what to do. James took a breath, in and out. “I don’t get what’s making you so mad at me!”

But Sirius went on. He stood up now, even though Remus tried to pull him back down. He shook Remus’ hand off. “You’re obsessed!”

“I am not obsessed!” James now shouted, also standing up. Remus stood up, gaze flicking to the two of them, and then to the small crowd that they had accumulated. “You don’t know anything about—”

“You’re a hypocrite! You’re only obsessed with him because of his Quidditch skills, too! Your massive ego can’t handle someone being better than you. You’re using him!”

“Sirius,” Remus began, but Sirius now held a gaze that could burn holes into walls.

James, frustration bubbling over, snapped back, "Using him? Maybe if you weren't so fixated on being his babysitter , you’d see that you were wrong!”

James blinked before he saw Sirius lunge at him, using James’ words as fuel for his anger. However, Remus acted swiftly and pushed Sirius back. Sirius was suitably pushed away. Werewolf strength, James remembered.

“That’s enough!” Remus told them. Sirius looked at Remus and looked away, as if relenting. Remus’ grip was firm on Sirius’ arm. Peter looked at both of them, wide-eyed. Remus spoke again. 

“James, clear off. Go for a fly or something. Goodness, you both are so dramatic…”

“It’s not my fault,” James huffed. Remus sat Sirius down and went to James, speaking quietly again.

“You know how he gets about his family. It’s nothing personal and it’s not a big deal. Just come back in a few minutes.”

Remus pat James’ shoulder, somewhat awkwardly. James nodded and walked out, breathing to calm his mind.

He would be angry later.

But first, James would fly.

** 

The sun was bright, an ode to life in the fields of the school. The air was still brisk, but everything still shined. James would have been calmed by it, if he was not forced to stay on the ground.

James should have known. What other team was known for their rigorous practices, besides Gryffindor?

He trudged through the dry soil, going as far away from the Quidditch pitch as he could. 

Green cloaks blurred through the air as James merely watched. James’ gaze instinctively went to Regulus, who was stationary in the air, weighing some sort of Quaffle (James could not tell) and hitting it to and fro with a dark skinned girl with blonde locks. Regulus rapidly played some sort of advanced game of catch with her.

She lobbed it to the left of Regulus, a hand steadying herself on her broom. Regulus cut through the air to catch it behind his back, and returned it in a split second.

Speak of the devil.

James went to borrow a broom from where the spare ones were to occupy his time. He could hear the Slytherins chattering and calling to each other. 

The cold wind wing bit at James’ cheeks as he stomped to the shed, ignoring the glares he knew were being bored into the back of him.

A few Slytherins slowly  lowered themselves, James could see out of a window in the large shed. End of practice, perhaps? Some stayed in the air, though.

James huffed to himself and used the cloth to polish it. He wasn’t in the mood to entertain any Slytherins. 

Even less when there was a knock on the shed door. That was unusual.

James’ gaze snapped to it. He debated keeping silent, but didn’t. “Um. Come in…?”

The door immediately swung open, and the girl that Regulus had been playing catch with greeted him with a neutral expression. 

She nodded to him. James shakily nodded back. He was sure that this girl was in his year, having seen her somewhere before in a lesson. He only knew her as the Slytherin Keeper.

“They told me to tell you to leave,” the girl spoke calmly, propping her broom on the door.

He blinked and looked out past the girl to the practice. “Why?”

“Because you are the Gryffindor captain,” she returned.

“Oh,” James awkwardly nodded again, still standing with the broom in his hand in the shed. 

The girl then looked behind her, as someone landed.

Speak of the devil, yet again.

James saw familiar black locks through the window slightly, as Regulus’ Nimbus was released from his hand.

James stifled a sigh at Regulus’ entry. Having an argument with Regulus' brother about Regulus and then fleeing, only to meet with Regulus afterwards only made James cringe further.

His smooth voice sounded from the other side of the doorway. “Dorcas, did you put him in the shed?”

James smiled slightly at the joke, if it was one. He had no idea if the Slytherins were capable of doing things like forcing people into sheds. But it quickly faded.

The girl - Dorcas - snorted. “Yes. Of course. And now you’re here to finish him off.”

“Brilliant.”

As James realised that Regulus was coming in, he began to panic. Usually, he felt like speaking to Regulus. But it felt like betrayal, and James sort of blamed Regulus for what happened. 

James frowned slightly, and turned around, pretending to be occupied with his borrowed broom. He had no idea what was going through his mind, but he just knew that he didn’t want to talk to Regulus.

The word obsessed flitted through James’ mind. He clenched his jaw.

Because when James thought of Regulus, he thought of Sirius, and vice versa. But that was only because of how similar they looked, James thought.

“Are you here to spy on practice?” Regulus asked drily, stepping inside. He murmured a goodbye to Dorcas, which meant that they were both alone.

James turned slightly. Yes, they did look similar. He scrutinized the too-familiar locks that Sirius and Regulus shared, the jawline that was harsher than Sirius’, cheekbones that were slightly higher. Regulus was also taller. By some inches, perhaps.

Regulus blinked at him, expecting James to speak.

Oh, right. We’re having a conversation here.

“No,” James strained after turning away from Regulus. What on earth was wrong with him?

Regulus kept silent again for a long pause. James almost waited for him to leave, but he didn’t. 

How ironic was it that the only time Regulus wanted to stay was when James wanted him to leave?

“Is there a Gryffindor practice?”

James pursed his lips. “No.”

More silence scraped over James’ ears. It was almost painful. He swallowed, wondering how to best get to the door to leave without spotting Regulus. 

James almost held a breath and turned around. Regulus’ eyebrows were furrowed by the smallest fraction.

“You are upset,” Regulus commented, folding his arms. “That’s why you are flying. Well, I heard a teammate say as such.”

Upset? James was not upset. He felt anger boil inside of him and took a breath.

Right now, he hated the way that Regulus had somehow read him like a book again, even if it hadn’t been Regulus this time. It had been charming before, James remembered. How could it be charming? It was annoying. So, so annoying to have someone know you and your feelings better than you did yourself.

James’ thoughts raced around his mind. He grasped onto them, but they came and went like sand slipping through a sieve. James decided not to think at all.

“No I’m not,” James took the broom and gave a mocking smile. “Just grabbing my broom.”

“I see,” Regulus acknowledged stiffly. “That is a lovely unbranded broom you have there. Did you make it yourself?”

James did not bother to allow himself to be amazed at Regulus actually talking to him. He just huffed, and took a step towards the door, drawing himself closer to Regulus in the process. “Didn’t know you were funny.”

“I am very funny. Why are you angry?” Regulus’ eyes widened fractionally, James noticed again. They then diverted away to a spot on the floor.

James snorted. “What gave it away?”

James made for the door and swung it open, broom in hand. Regulus also let himself through, and James held the door open for him begrudgingly. He slammed it shut (harder than he had intended) and began to walk. Regulus kept pace with him, silently for a second.

Regulus remained as poised as ever. James hated it. He hated it all. Everything about him. 

James went to a high spot in the field and sat down, not looking up at the Quidditch practice going on. He knew they were all looking at him. 

 “Care to discuss the source of your agitation?” Regulus asked, not sitting down with James.

“No.”

Regulus nodded. “Fine then.”

James glanced at Regulus, who was looking up with a sort of professional interest. His broom was still by the shed. 

“Are you not leaving?” James asked, looking away.

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek, James saw. “No. They wanted someone to keep an eye on you. I am also done practicing, so…”

James nodded. 

He was used to Regulus’ short, measured sentences. It had probably only changed because Regulus felt pity for him, James thought.

“Your brother is stupid,” James blurted, not being able to keep the thought in. Probably because said brother’s brother was standing right before him, right in the sun, looking up, eyes carrying glints of rays from above.

Regulus smirked slightly. He placed himself down onto the grass, but he was still around a meter away from James. “Oh, most definitely.”

He then stayed silent. A lag in conversation that James felt like he needed to fill. But he didn’t, and he hated the pang of guilt at not doing it. 

Regulus sighed in the beat of silence. “Why do you think of him in this way?”

“Because he is.”

“What did he do this time?” Regulus surprised James again with a quirk of his lips. “If you would like to discuss his stupidity, I would listen.”

This was Regulus’ way of saying I’m here for you , James thought. It was somewhat humorous.

James picked at the grass, something he had done since he was young. “He accused me of…something. Something stupid.”

Regulus tilted his head slightly. “Of what?”

“You’re awfully nosy,” James said drily, but he couldn’t help but look at Regulus again. Regulus looked back.

He shrugged. “A bad habit of mine.”

James pulled up tufts of grass as he spoke. He let go of them, wiping his hand against his leg. “He thinks I should stop asking you things. Which is stupid.”

James vaguely gestured to them both.

Regulus raised a brow, now looking at James. His slanted eyes went back up to the practice after a few seconds of scrutiny. He put his hands on the grass and leaned back. A Bludger was hit the full length of the pitch. A few claps followed.

Regulus nodded. James took it as a sign to continue and that he understood. It was as if floodgates had suddenly opened.

“I told him I just want to talk to you.” James still looked at Regulus, who was still looking up. “You’re quite interesting, for someone I hardly know.”

Regulus smiled slightly again. It made James smile. “High praise. But is that the only reason why you two had such a fight?”

The phrase “shag my brother” came to mind, but James pushed it away. He thought back to what else had wounded him.

“He said I…he said my ego was massive,” James remembered.

Regulus laughed slightly, this time. James almost wanted to repeat the statement to hear the sound again.

“Truth hurts, Potter,” Regulus almost chimed, but he then sobered in a split second. He cleared his throat again. Was Regulus ill? “What else?”

“Said I have a thing for you,” James suddenly bit out, letting one of his many thoughts free into the air surrounding them. 

Regulus froze, somehow becoming more still than he was before. James felt like facepalming. Him and his big mouth.

“And do you?” Regulus responded, looking down to the grass and then back up again. 

James risked a glance back, and then looked away again. "No!”

He had spoken too quickly, he realised. James began to speak slower, to balance it out somehow. “Well, it’s not like...you know. I, um..."

Regulus’ eyes glinted with amusement, James guessed as he looked at them again. Regulus looked at him too. “Eloquently put.”

James looked down. “Shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

This was spiralling , James thought, tensing slightly. He had ruined it. 

“Why not?” Regulus quietly asked, looking back up. The fliers flew. To and fro. To and fro.

James frowned. “I don’t know.”

Regulus hummed thoughtfully at James’ second apology.

“Consider yourself forgiven,” Regulus almost joked. James realised that Regulus was almost doing a lot of things. He was always an amalgamation of expression, never black and white. “If it is worth anything, you are much less egotistical than you seem.”

James felt his eyes widen as he took in Regulus’ words. It meant a lot to hear that, he realised. He didn’t know if it was the words themselves or who it was coming from.

Suddenly, the captain, a boy named Johnston, landed rapidly. He placed his broom, leaving it hovering in the ground. His stocky build approached the two of them.

He narrowed light blue eyes at James, inciting a sudden distaste in James’ stomach. “Potter.”

“Afternoon,” James greeted, grinning. He now felt better than he did before, much less inclined to grumble and mutter. “Nice Spring day, isn’t it?”

“Black, we are done. Come,” Johnston commanded, beginning to turn away. James felt a twinge of disappointment at Regulus having to leave. James frowned, slightly.

Regulus nodded, watching his captain as he strode off.

“Rude man, that,” James sighed with mock upset. “He blew me off.”

Regulus laughed softly again. “If you want, I can tell him to have a proper conversation with you next time.”

James’ lips curved up in amusement. “Nah, I’d rather you tell him to think of a good strategy for next week’s match. I’d like a challenge.”

Regulus considered for a moment, getting up. “Oh, I have plenty, rest assured.”

“Tell me one,” James breathed, getting up and stepping towards Regulus. He wanted to do it again, but stopped himself.

“Well,” Regulus began, brushing off stray bits of grass from his robes. “We can tie you to the goalposts and fly right through.”

James couldn’t help but properly laugh. “Planning to take out the star Chaser? How Slytherin of you to not want to play my team at our best!”

“‘Star Chaser’? How egotistical of you to call yourself that,” Regulus took a step away, eyes now pointed towards the small huddle of Slytherin players with something like exasperation , James could have sworn. 

He looked towards his impatient captain, eyes on them both, tapping his foot.

 “Bye, then,” Regulus said, bowing his head slightly. James knew those words were familiar. He had said the same.

“Same time tomorrow?” He grinned.

Regulus turned around. James half expected him to frown, but he was half- smiling . Not enough to be a full one, but not little enough to be stoic. Fractionally

“Perhaps,” he replied wryly. “I must leave before my captain has an aneurysm.”

James also called out another goodbye as Regulus made his way over to the team. James got up and began to walk. The crunch of leaves sounded around him as he made his way back to the Dorm Room. 

He didn’t feel like flying anymore, James realised. Why was that?

James let out a breath and began to walk faster. What would Sirius think?

**

James wondered if he should knock or not, standing outside the door. He then thought he was being an idiot, and just swung the door open.

Sirius was sat on Remus’ bed, flicking his wand to lift a piece of paper, making it move in circles around the room. Remus was reading next to Sirius. Their legs touched.

Peter was also reading, but it was a textbook, rather. Potions NEWT Course Guide: 1976 Edition .

It was rather odd that they published a new edition every year, James thought. But he ignored the criticism for now.

Everyone’s gaze flicked up at James as he entered, Sirius’ especially. Remus nudged him with his leg, and Sirius suddenly got up after the discrete prompt.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Sirius.”

Sirius nodded and ran a hand through his long hair. James tried not to think of Regulus’. “I just want to say I’m sorry. I really overreacted and…I know I shouldn’t have done or said any of it.”

James nodded. Sirius had clearly exhausted the list of what he was going to say.

“It’s fine, Pads. I shouldn’t have yelled either. Can’t believe we got kicked out of the library…”

Sirius grinned and shrugged. “I say it’s for the better.”

James laughed as Sirius slung an arm around him. They stepped one and sat down on James’ bed, only because Remus and Peter had taken up all of theirs. As soon as Sirius left, Remus had put his legs up.

“Can you promise me something, though?” Sirius asked, looking at James. 

Remus immediately looked up. “No, Sirius. I told you, you don’t need to-”

“Promise me you’re not talking to him because you want to date him, okay?” Sirius grinned again.

James felt his heart skip a beat. 

“Okay,” James strained, smiling as sweetly and complacently as he could. The answer was instinctive. How could he not promise Sirius something? He swallowed.

Remus looked at him with wide eyes and got up from the bed. He shook his head but Sirius, only now grinning even more, ruffled James’ hair. “Knew I could trust you! Sorry for saying I couldn’t, mate.”

No, no, no.

James nodded slowly. He felt a bit pale. 

It was as if the promise had suddenly made James acknowledge one of his big, shining thoughts. 

In the span of five days, James had developed a crush on Regulus.

How ironic was it that it had only became clear once he had sworn not to?

James rubbed his neck, looking down at the rug next to his bed. 

“James can think for himself without these promises,” Remus chided, only looking directly at James. He stood up.

Sirius chuckled. “Still. He did it. Besides, Prongs would never lie to me. Nor would he date a Slytherin .”

Sirius mockingly pulled a face at the mention of Regulus’ house. “Not to add the fact that it’s my brother. He wouldn’t date a Slytherin, least of all my Slytherin brother!”

“Of course, of course,” James nodded again, but with a forced smile. “What would happen if I did, though? Out of curiosity,” he added quickly.

Sirius paused. “I don’t know. I’d be angry, but that goes without saying. You won’t do it, so there’s no need to ask, is there?”

Sirius went over to his bed, which was opposite Remus. He had been moving far too much, possibly celebrating. James frowned. How could he possibly take it back? He couldn’t.

James felt a swoop of panic in his stomach as his mind spun back to his conversation with Regulus. Piercing grey eyes. Soft laugh.

He’d just made a promise he knew he could never keep.

Remus shut his book, walking over to James’ bed. He looked over to Sirius’ bed, and after seeing that Sirius was engrossed in some other activity now, began to speak quietly, murmuring like they did in the library, something that seemed like such a distant memory at this moment.

“Fuck, James.”

“I know,” James sighed. How do you know? James wanted to add, but decided to leave it. Of course Remus knew. And it became even clearer when he rubbed his eyes and looked at James. 

He carried a frown on his face, and leaned on James’ bed frame. Remus scrutinised James. It was different from Regulus’ scrutiny, however.

Remus looked to Sirius, and then back to James. 

“You’ve messed up.”

Chapter Text

The good thing about James promising not to want to date Regulus was that he had somehow brought the Black family together.

Sirius had now made the decision to take it upon himself to greet his brother at every opportunity and attempt to strike up a conversation. Regulus was surprised each time, but James didn’t know how else he reacted because he mostly looked away.

James had not spoken to Regulus for two days. Even when there were practices, he made sure to not even visit the pitch if he thought a Slytherin practice was imminent, as well as space his Gryffindor ones far, far away from said Slytherin practices. 

Perhaps this was far too much, James thought. But it was instinctive, like drawing your hand away from a fire. The fire was always warm and soothing to cold hands, but too close and you’d burn.

The bad thing about James promising not to want to date Regulus was that. He had promised not to do it. 

And he had already broken it.

His eyes looked to the spot near the hill where he and Regulus had sat, a meter away from each other, Regulus looking up to the sky.

A sigh escaped James’ lips.

“Where’s the fire, James? You’re sighing like a deflated balloon,” Marlene raised an eyebrow and threw the Quaffle at James. They were having a cooldown from the heavy practice match that they had just played. 

James reached out to catch it. He then scrambled for something to reply with.

He settled for saying, “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

Marlene hummed. “You can tell me, you know. If you’re still toiling in the middle of the match tomorrow and end up missing a goal, I’d probably never forgive you.”

James threw the Quaffle up, to Marlene’s right. It was her weak side. Marlene almost slipped on her broom, but caught it.

“I’m not toiling.”

Marlene returned the Quaffle at a low angle. He tilted on his broom to grasp it, and immediately swung it back.

“You are. What’s the reason? I’ll start guessing if you don’t tell me.”

“I’m not,” James replied, as Marlene threw the Quaffle straight at James’ chest. An easy catch. He threw it back, a high pass. After catching it by a long stretch up, Marlene was silent for a beat. She then smiled slightly, and opened her mouth to ask something.

“Is it Regulus?” 

The Quaffle was thrown to James’ left, and he fumbled the catch as the question escaped Marlene’s lips.

James dove after it, swooping his broom down and back up to catch it somewhat securely. 

“Looks like I have my answer,” Marlene murmured, looking to see if James had caught the Quaffle. She grinned.

That was on purpose, James realised. Marlene was wicked.

“No. You don’t,” James responded quickly. He lobbed the Quaffle perhaps a bit too hard. Marlene still caught it.

Marlene shook her head, and spun the Quaffle in her hands. “Everyone knows about the fight you and Sirius had. Only a few overheard some of it in the library. A friend of mine happened to hear.”

James clenched his jaw and released it. “So what?”

“Well, talking about it might make you feel better.”

James nodded, and looked around to his teammates, who were also practicing. However, they had been lagging recently. “What time is it?”

Marlene pulled out some sort of pocket watch from her pocket. She had said something about Lily giving it to her as a gift last week. “A quarter to eight. It’s been two hours.”

James nodded. “I’ll let them all go.”

James hurriedly called to them that they could leave. He considered going over the strategy again, but let them loose. He had said it so many times that it was probably memorised, by now. 

The interaction was hurried. James did not want to stay. He lowered himself, letting his feet fall onto the grass. 

Marlene approached James before leaving. She smoothed her blonde hair down, releasing it from her ponytail. “Sure you don’t want to talk?”

“Yes,” James said, grabbing his broom. “Bye, Marlene.”

Marlene nodded and walked off with another Fifth year that had been watching. James stretched his arm as it began to ache slightly. He looked around for something to do.

There were three or four daisies on the floor, aimed towards the sky. 

Like Regulus, he thought, but that was embarrassingly poetic. He cringed and pushed the thought away.

He wandered to the shed after spotting the stray strand of wood curling away from his broom in search of clippers that Marlene had pointed out.

He walked on rough soil towards the shed. It was awfully solitary, James noticed. Everybody had left rather quickly. James had not invited his friends. 

To get Remus to attend the last match, James had said that Remus did not have to attend anything to do with Quidditch for the next two weeks. He said that there was only a slight chance of him attending the Slytherin and Gryffindor final.

Well, it was better than nothing.

And Sirius would have came, but he really did have to do homework this time around. Peter also had a Herbology test today, so he also could not come.

The musk of the shed hit James as he twisted the black door knob to enter. What caught his eye were three brooms in the corner, angled towards each other, sort of like how wood would be arranged in a campfire. Or so he had been told by Remus one day.

Two were produced from polished wood, and one was clasped inside an obsidian case. Fancy .

James was undeniably alone. He could look.

James shuffled forward on the floorboards. They creaked beneath his shoes. 

James looked through the windows. Yes, he was alone. The last thing he wanted was for some bulky Slytherin Beater to emerge and accuse him of sabotage. 

He hurriedly picked up the casing and flicked it open. A broom as ebony as the case greeted him. There was a gold engraving at the top, small but noticeable. It was a Nimbus, one that looked very familiar. But, many players did own black brooms. 

R.A.B

Unfamiliar initials. The only person he knew with three letters in their initials instead of two like a regular person was Sirius. 

James felt the broom surrounded by a velvet blanket, almost. There were hidden compartments, he saw. Medium sized. He wondered what was inside them, but suppressed his curiosity.

It was wooden, but smooth enough to make James consider another material. The bristles were smooth, not soft but not rough. James felt a pang of jealousy. Oh, he would definitely part from his shabby broom once he went home for—

The doorknob twisted and rattled.

James hastily clasped the case and put it on the floor. As the person came in, James picked up his broom. He made for the clippers, not bothering to look at who entered. He wanted to, but he suppressed his curiosity and attempted to seem casual.

He grasped them and drew his broom up. He felt for the splinter. It was near the end of the broom, a small, lithe section of wood. Not dangerous, but not safe. Anything could affect the trajectory of the broom.

He tried to clasp down on the clippers and missed. 

James was new to this.

He tried to angle his arms in another way and pressed the pieces of metal together.

Another miss.

James sighed under his breath, and tried using his other hand. He clasped down slowly this time, but the clippers only went around the wood before letting go. 

This then happened a third time, and a fourth. He grit his teeth and tried again. 

“You have to pull and do it quicker.”

James dropped the clippers with a clatter at the unexpected voice. He turned rapidly to find Regulus looking back at him, watching. How long had he been there?

“Fuck,” James said, taking a breath. “Announce your presence next time, please…”

Regulus stepped forward into the dim shed light. James felt like stepping back, but sadly there was a table of tools in the way. 

“Apologies,” Regulus murmured. He turned to the three brooms in the corner, and cogs began to whir in James’ mind. 

R. A. B. Regulus something Black. 

James closed his eyes and cursed himself again as Regulus bent to retrieve the case that was on the floor. Regulus then spoke. “What are you doing?”

Silence stretched as Regulus looked back at him once more. 

James broke the stare first, turning to the clippers. “Clipping my broom. There’s a splinter, so…”

He held them up to gesture towards the clippers, waving them about slightly. That was a health hazard, James realised, so he put them down awkwardly. Regulus nodded slightly. He approached James, grey eyes coming closer. James could almost see the reflections in them, before Regulus looked down. Disappointment sizzled in James’ stomach.

Regulus lifted his case up with his left arm, and flicked it open as James had mere moments ago. He then slowly opened one of the compartments and put slender fingers towards silver clippers.

“These are less blunt,” Regulus held the clippers out to James to take, lying comfortably in the palm of his hand.

What, so James was just meant to grab them out of Regulus’ hand? James’ own palms grew sweaty at this fact.

Regulus blinked at him, gaze unwavering. He jutted his hand out slightly, as if James hadn’t gotten the hint.

James stiffened. He then nodded and hurriedly picked them, almost shivering at the small contact from their fingers. 

He focused back on his broom, a distraction from Regulus’ unwavering eyes. He clenched the clippers and pulled with more vigour as Regulus suggested. His first try was to no avail, but the second had effectively cut the strip off.

“Thanks,” James chuckled, grasping the sandpaper to smooth his broom down, before he realised the clippers were still in his hand. 

“Sorry, here…” James fumbled for the clippers and passed them to Regulus. Slender hands took them again. They almost looked enchanted to be that way. James’ hands had calluses and were slightly thicker. His were long, but not slender.

Regulus nodded in thanks, and placed the clippers back in.

“What’s your middle name?” James blurted it out as Regulus turned around. An intimate question, but also a vague one. Regulus stared at him with an unreadable expression.

Regulus looked at James with a quiet curiosity that he couldn’t bear.  “Why do you ask?”

James sanded down his broom, again avoiding Regulus’ gaze. “Perhaps I decided to be as nosy as you, this time around.”

“Oh, do not. I would not want you to pick up my bad habits.”

James couldn’t help but laugh. He finished sanding his broom and drew it up, being careful not to hit Regulus who, James realised, was standing two steps away. “I’m sure you’ve got some good habits.”

“Me? No, not a single one,” Regulus shrugged, with a dry tone to his voice. “Now tell me.”

James blinked and thought of a response that did not include how he had snooped on Regulus’ things. 

Regulus was relentless, James surmised. He had quickly snapped back to the question he had asked, as if it held an importance to him.

“I just…saw it. It says R.A.B on your broom.”

Regulus’ gaze flicked to his broom and back, as if he forgot. 

When he looked back, he carried the faintest smile that James could barely read. “How perceptive.”

James nodded. Then, he realised that Regulus hadn’t answered his question. “So, what is it?”

Regulus considered for a moment, before responding. “Arcturus,” he answered.

“Arcturus…” James repeated. The name was full and rich on his tongue. “Where does it come from?”

“The star. Most of the Black family is named after some constellation or other,” Regulus said. He looked down at his broom. 

“Are you going to fly?” James asked. He did not want to keep Regulus any more than he had to. 

Well, that was a lie. James certainly did want to, but he did not want to shake Regulus off some strict training regime.

Regulus cocked his head, musing slightly. Another habit of his. Not a bad one. “Well, it is a rest day for the team, but I thought I might if I felt like it.”

“Rest days?” James wondered if he should incorporate it for a split second, but decided that he would not copy the Slytherins, not even for a second. Besides, practice makes perfect.

“Does the legendary James Potter not take something as obsolete as ‘rest days’?” Regulus huffed, his version of a small laugh. James froze for a split second at the sound. He then told himself to relax , which did not do much to help him. “Do you practice every day?”

Legendary James Potter .

James adjusted his glasses, pushing them further up his face, purely to hide it. 

Regulus should have known that saying that would inflate James’ ego massively. He also felt heat rise on his neck as a result. Regulus laughed and had called him legendary, even if the sentiment was sarcastic.

James’ mind could not decide on which one was nicer to hear. Anyhow, he was sure that he felt something golden through his veins in that moment, a sudden boldness about him.

James shrugged. “Nearly. Huh, maybe I’m working them too hard to the bone.”

Regulus nodded, another faint smile playing on his lips. He grasped his broom and stepped away. James felt the urge to step forward, and this time, instead of suppressing it, did. Regulus then spoke. “Are you going to fly?”

“So many questions. Nosy parker,” James retorted, but with a grin. 

Regulus blinked, and then raised his eyebrows. “Slytherin instinct, as you may put it.”

James’ lips tugged up. “I already had practice. But I’d accompany you if you, um…wanted me to.”

He put a hand back to lean onto the tool table, trying to make the invitation as casual as possible. James watched Regulus process his words. James shrugged to emphasise it. He wondered if Regulus saw right through.

Honestly, James’ heart was beating as fast as anything. It was as if he was having some allergic, visceral reaction to Regulus, he thought, as he wiped his palms on his cloak.

Regulus schooled his features into a cold expression that immediately gave James extreme anxiety. He quickly wanted to take it back. 

As he had said before with Sirius, he and Regulus were barely friends. James cursed himself for probably the fourth time today. 

Regulus opened his mouth, and James braced himself.

“Yes. Alright.”

Yes. Alright.

James nodded far too quickly, but it was probably alright . As Regulus had said himself. Because Regulus had said it was alright. He had also said yes, in case you were not listening.

Glee was an understatement for how James felt, but he attempted to contain himself, even if his casual nature was slipping away by the second. 

James grinned at Regulus, and swung the door open. He then moved to the side of it.

“You first.”

“How gentlemanly,” Regulus smiled, fractionally more obvious than the first smile he had given James. His tone was also less dry.

James had thawed Regulus successfully. And he would deal with the betrayal he felt afterwards.

**

James was not bad at Quidditch. He would rather die than be as such.

But as Regulus cut through the air, black locks freeing themselves from his smoothed down hair, and his cloak fluttering behind him, James genuinely considered the possibility as Regulus caught the snitch yet again after James suggested that they compete to try and see who would find it first.

“I’d make a decent Seeker,” he had proclaimed. 

Regulus had raised a brow. And James now understood why.

The first time, James actually saw the Snitch and made for it as Regulus did. James applauded himself, sure it was his, and only on the first time too! However, it had suddenly curved, and Regulus tilted as if he anticipated this and caught it a second later. James glided dumbly away from Regulus, slowing his momentum. This was difficult, he thought.

James had demanded a rematch. He had lost again.

“I don’t get how you move so quickly,” James grumbled, flying towards Regulus who was rolling the Snitch in his hand. The gold suited him.

“I cannot fathom how you move so slowly. I wonder how you win games at that pace.”

“Oh, ha ha . I’ve just finished a practice and you’re probably trying harder than me,” James retorted, narrowing his eyes. Regulus was quick, and it annoyed James. It was superhuman. It was beyond James’ understanding.

Ten minutes of this, and James was already feeling like turning in for an early night. Regulus’ stamina must have also been superhuman, James thought to himself.

Regulus flew closer to James. James had recently had to get used to them both being very close together. Turns out, when two people are chasing the exact same golden ball through the air, they come very close to colliding.

It still made James’ skin prickle, but less so. There was also less fear involved now.

Regulus tossed it from his left hand to his right. A cocky gesture. James felt slightly flushed again.

James could see Regulus’ amusement. There was a glint in his eye again, a thrilled joy about his features. It was subdued, but still visible. “Perhaps you are not as good as you thought. There must be someone better I can practice with…”

“Please,” James scoffed, folding his arms. Indignation rose like a tidal wave. “I am probably one of the best players to grace this pitch. And your very eyes.”

Regulus laughed. 

It was short-lived, but it rung out and James swore he felt the vibrations of it in his very bones, in his soul, if he could venture to be so dramatic.

James must have been gaping, because Regulus stared at him slightly, before snapping his gaze to the side. There was nothing there. Regulus just had another habit of looking away. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Regulus asked, the question tentative but his voice solid. 

“You should laugh more. It’s far better than, uh, your constant state of perpetual brooding,” James said as lightly as he could, leaning back on his broom shakily.

He looked away. Bunches of clouds rose overhead. They were lit with the sun, a clear and clean blue draped over the sky, testifying to the early morning.

James tensed, slightly. How long would he be here with Regulus? 

Weak in the knees for a Slytherin. Sirius would kill him. Merlin knows what he would say. 

“Oh,” Regulus breathed. James cleared his throat slightly, feeling heat rush to his face, and looked away.

Of course he shouldn’t have said that. Who even tells someone that they should laugh more ? What a rude thing to say. 

James couldn’t help but look to gauge Regulus’ reaction. He also couldn’t help the worry he felt at him flying inches closer.

Regulus paused as words began to form but did not. He then suddenly spoke abruptly. “Another round, if you do not have to leave? It is fine if you do,” he added.

He held the snitch out for James to take. It rested in his palm, and it fluttered slightly. 

“How are you keeping it still?” James questioned, only looking at Regulus’ palm. He saw the creases that disappeared behind the Snitch. James suddenly wished he took Divination. Maybe he could make more sense of Regulus by reading his palms.

He plucked it from Regulus’ hands, with a sloppy movement that involved his fingers scraping Regulus’. Only James seemed to be affected, Regulus as stoic as ever.

The Snitch tugged slightly, and James tugged back to keep it in between his finger and thumb. He examined the intricate details, the minute details scratched onto the surface. It was beautiful, he realised.

James’ gaze flicked up to Regulus’. Regulus stared at him, grey eyes gazing intensely. 

He then relaxed his features slightly. “That is a secret.”

James feigned a groan. “Clue me in. I’m genuinely curious.”

James decided to plant the Snitch in the palm of his hand, and let it rest. Regulus peered with an amused expression. It rolled of its own volition at first, but then quickly angled and moved upwards, picking up pace.

“That was a bit stupid,” Regulus stretched out, coming closer to catch it. His cloak brushed James slightly as he grasped the Snitch. He had to fly higher.

James made a half-hearted attempt to catch it, but he had missed. He was taller, so it should have been easier. “It’s not like you can’t catch it, anyhow.”

“Well, one day you may do that around people who are not as talented as me,”  Regulus caught the gold ball, and came back down, amusement evident in his voice. Regulus allowed the snitch to fly out of his hands, but caught it back as an idle gesture.

“Tell me how to do it properly, then. Teach me,”

“Why would I teach the enemy ?”

James gaped slightly. “I’m not your enemy!”

Regulus shrugged, and flew an inch closer as the Snitch had escaped towards James this time. James considered moving out of the way, but didn’t. 

Regulus tilted his head. “Well, we are hardly allied. Take a look at our robes.”

“The robes mean nothing,” James scoffed. He was now close to Regulus. He could almost hear him breathe. “We could be… allied .”

Regulus studied James again. A long moment passed before he held out his palm and slowly placed the Snitch in it. James held a breath. He half enjoyed the scrutiny, but half feared it.

Regulus exhaled.

“The trick is to balance it with gentle pressure,” he said quietly. “Firmly to feel the movement, but lightly to relax it.”

James blinked and mirrored Regulus. He held a hand out, cupped minutely like Regulus’ hand. 

Regulus pursed his lips and grabbed the Snitch with a thumb and two fingers.

He was going to put it into James’ hand. 

James braced himself as Regulus placed it into his hand, according to James’ prediction. He also very, very lightly touched James’ fingers to guide them higher. Warmth travelled up James' skin as they touched ever so briefly. 

The Snitch still twitched, but stayed, James realised. However, as his gaze darted to it at this realisation, it began to vibrate and rise. 

“It has a mind of its own,” James swallowed, as Regulus prodded the Snitch back down. “How does that even work?”

“Same way the Sorting Hat does, maybe,” Regulus answered. “It keeps moving because you are thinking of it too much. Focus on something else and hold still.”

Regulus was now very close to James. He had his gaze on the Snitch, hand poised to catch it again.

Part of James wanted to ask why this mattered so much that Regulus was helping. It was a small curiosity that had sparked in James, and he was shocked to be so readily… helped by Regulus.

He looked up to Regulus, who’s gaze was on the Snitch. James could count each individual eyelash on his slanted eyes. He’d begin, but that would be strange.

Regulus was still looking down. On purpose, perhaps? A small part of James deflated. He willed Regulus to look up.

A breath ghosted out of Regulus’ lips, one that was so faint that it could barely be felt. James felt it on his fingers. They immediately warmed in the brisk morning, despite James currently exercising and being hot enough to sweat .

“Well done,” Regulus nodded. He bit his lip for a split second, and finally glanced up to James.

They both became unmoving, James thought. He might have been wrong, though. Perhaps he had just gone still enough for the both of them, if such a thing was possible. 

James opened his mouth to speak, but only air escaped as he captured brows curved elegantly beneath raven hair. Should he pull away? Regulus was not. Did Regulus want to?

An invisible cord held James there, pulling James infinitesimally closer. 

James wondered if Regulus felt the same as his gaze skimmed his features. He wanted to reach out and touch them, but that would also be strange.

They stayed for a beat, before James saw Regulus’ jaw clench, slightly. James moistened his lips as Regulus’ eyes stayed annoyingly constant. The scrutiny went from James’ eyes, to nose to his lips . James’ mind kicked into high gear. Was he about to close the distance? Part of James was paralysed by pure fear , but also pure anticipation .

But, before he knew it, Regulus put a few inches between them, a faint colour on his cheeks. Small, but James noticed. Of course he did.

Regulus moved his broom away, and rolled his shoulders. He looked down at his cloak and smoothed it down. The loss of proximity was immediately noticeable.

James drew in a heavy breath and leaned back on his broom. He still clutched the Snitch.

“Here,” James rasped, holding it out. 

Regulus’ head snapped up, and then he blinked with  realisation, but then looked away again.

“Keep it,” he replied, hoarsely. Regulus cleared his throat. “I must leave.”

James opened his mouth to say something, but shut it once he realised that he did not know what to say.

“Wait, Regulus,” he suddenly called, flying closer. 

Regulus paused as James had asked, glancing at him. “Yes?”

James wanted to say many things. But he decided to settle on the more polite option. He had already perhaps been too obsessive and odd today. And it was not even the afternoon yet.

“I- um, good practice. I’m looking forward to tomorrow,” James laughed nervously. He ran a hand through his hair. 

“As am I,” Regulus replied coolly. He surveyed James once more, and James thought he was about to take his leave. 

But Regulus turned before lowering himself and flying away.

“Do try to be quicker tomorrow, James. I would hate for the game to be too easy,” he glanced back, and his lip twitched slightly as if he was fighting a smile. A rare shot of emotion.

And before James could throw out a reply, Regulus swiftly left, leaving James flustered in the air. He swallowed and replayed the last two sentences again and again in his mind as his gloaming hair dissipated away from the pitch and into the shed.

James did not bother to fight a grin as he flew once more, a lap around and then he lowered himself. Regulus was obviously gone by now. But James still replayed his words.

And the same thought echoed in his mind, rebounding again and again.

Regulus had called him James .

Chapter Text

The match was in the evening, yet again. James hardly complained. It was more charming at late hours, with lanterns glowing and stars overhead. 

Well, there were no stars. It was 5pm, but the sky was still dark and spectators were huddled in small blankets and scarves. The match would start in ten minutes. 

The crows bustled with quiet chatter that James tuned out. Gladly enough, Remus had been willing to come once he saw how much the match had meant to not only James, but the whole school.

Remus had also left early and without a book too. Sirius had practically kept for joy. He had made a jab about Regulus capturing the Snitch before “ James could even blink” , but James had forgotten to laugh.

This had happened quite a lot. But rather than beginning to binge his own thoughts, he focused on the match.

For the past hour, James had been running drills and practicing catches and what to do in different scenarios. Where to pass, when to shoot, when to hit. He sighed to himself.

A nagging uncertainty remained.

James could anticipate and plan for everything, but he had no chance of planning for what Regulus was going to do.

Were the Slytherins also worrying, as James was?

Regulus was known to James as a formidable opponent, one who always had a hidden trick up his sleeve. But, James had actually seen him in the last match he played. He regretted not seeing it sooner. He attended every match, and yet he did not see Regulus in the way that he did now.

Blinded by his arrogance, perhaps. He had always looked at the Slytherins with superiority. James was worried that he no longer could.

“Delilah,” James called up from the ground. James had gone down for a short break. Rest days , he remembered Regulus saying. James attempted to force the boy out of his thoughts.

James placed his broom on the ground. He felt blades of grass gently poke his palms. Small shards of frost were dotted around patches of grass.

The girl turned around and made her way down. Her black hair was tied neatly into a plait, and she had taken off her glasses for the match. James was a bit concerned, but she assured him that she was still able to see.

She smirked. “What is it now ?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” James furrowed his brows. Delilah shrugged, and she twisted her plait absentmindedly. James had called her down half an hour ago, he remembered, but it was only a small note about her balance. Her posture was not as poised as the opposing Seeker.

“Never mind. Lay it on me,” Delilah said, cutting into James’ thoughts.

James nodded and looked down at the ground. The grass was slightly wet, and his shoes left imprints in them.

“The Slytherin Seeker,” James began, “is fast. Trail behind, but not on the same level, because he might cut you off. Read his movements. He might…have a tell.”

James had wanted to say “Regulus”, but he thought it would be too strange. People normally knew him as “Black” or the title that James had called him.

James bit his thumbnail and snuck a glance at Regulus. His hair was smoothed. It would become tousled about halfway through the match though. 

If there was even a “halfway”. If Regulus did not catch the Snitch within ten minutes. If James’ team was good enough.

James thought back to the day before, when they had spent a large chunk of time racing to catch it. James was always beaten, he conceded to himself. He had caught it in a matter of minutes . He hoped that the reason why was only because James was awful at Seeking.

Delilah nodded and followed James’ gaze. “Got it. Anything else?”

“Make sure you find the Snitch before him,” he said, biting his tongue slightly. James then looked over to the end of the pitch, where Regulus was sitting on his broom and watching his teammates. It was an almost lazy gesture, as if Regulus was above practice. Judging from how James had seen him yesterday, he was.

James’ gaze stayed on Regulus until Dorcas turned to inspect the Gryffindors and saw James. James turned away as soon as he could. He could sense a stare still boring into the back of his head, though. James suppressed another sigh.

Now Delilah looked confused. “But wait…how do I mark Regulus and follow him whilst also looking for the Snitch myself…?”

James blinked harshly. “Is that not possible?”

“I’m not superhuman, James. How am I meant to look at them both at the same time?” She asked, cocking her head. She did it at more of an angle that Regulus did, the gesture not as tentative and minute as his. “To mark Regulus, I need to look at him. I have to look even harder to properly mark and follow him or find a tell. So if he finds the Snitch, I just have to race him. Is that what you’re trying to say?”

James fought the urge to look back at Regulus again, holding the bridge of his nose. 

Regulus was already in his head, and the game had barely started. How was he meant to play with Regulus right in front of him? James could barely function right now with him more than 20 meters away.

“Fuck,” he murmured to himself, biting his lip. 

“Fuck what?” 

James blinked, remembering the fact that he was having a conversation. Delilah was brushing her fingers against her plait, looking at James. Her cheeks and nose were flushed. Her skin was not pale. 

She wore a cheeky grin that James usually found charming. But it had suddenly annoyed him.

James fought the urge to compare her skin and smile to Regulus’. He had to stop.

Especially when Regulus’ brother was in the crowd.

Regulus was now flying, James saw. He then looked away. There is a conversation happening right in front of you, he told himself.

“Dashing, isn’t he? I have Potions with him,” Delilah grinned, again following James’ gaze. James ignored his sudden urge to yell at her with anger bridled but hot.

“I’m not here to talk about how dashing he is,” James snapped. He cleared his throat and shook his head. He spoke far too loudly, but decided to continue rather than apologise. “Work on marking. Do laps with someone.”

“Alright, alright,” she huffed. “Any strategies to tell me now before you call me back again?”

James rubbed his face. “I don’t know.”

“Any reassurance?”

James blinked at her, even though he knew exactly what she meant. “Why would you need any reassurance?”

James picked up his broom. Six minutes until the match. He made it hover, and straddled it. Delilah did the same.

He expected her to reply with a confirmation of his fears, and she did. Except it was in a way that he did not expect, a testimony to how blunt Delilah was.

“I know you see it too. The Seeker before him was woeful. Black appeared out of nowhere, but he’s incredible,” Delilah mused. “He could go pro right this second and I’d hardly be surprised. But you know him better than I do, so…”

James winced. Yes, the team had found out about James and Regulus’ meetings. It had stemmed from Marlene, of whom had many tidbits of James and Regulus meeting up. 

The stories involved a lot of “ Promise not to tell anyone?” and “ This does not escape this team!”

“You’re right,” James sighed, beginning to fly into the pitch. Delilah followed. “But I don’t really know him at all…”

James had mostly said that to himself, an almost wistful statement. Delilah laughed a little. James tensed at her ringing laughter.

“Well, only Barty and Evan know him, really,” she said, waving to her teammates. James gave a crooked smile to them. “I thought Barty dated Regulus, but that was just a rumour…”

James’ gaze immediately whipped to the Slytherin team as some visceral instinct.

He saw Regulus talking to Dorcas, Dorcas gesturing to the ends of the pitch. Regulus listened with rapt focus, nodding slightly.

Dorcas gestured to James’ end of the pitch, and James knew it was time to look away. His cheeks felt hot. Because of the cold.

Ignoring his urge to throttle Barty, he turned back to Delilah. “Why did you think that they were dating?”

“Everyone and their mother thought as much,” Delilah responded, but not answering the question, as if it was obvious. It was not.

James thought back to the contact they shared after James had fallen asleep. Barty had grinned the whole way through it, bantering with Regulus.

James cleared his throat. “How do you know it was a rumour, then?”

But before Delilah could answer, Marlene and another player, Morrison, came over.

“Hey, James. There are three minutes left. Shall I call everyone over?” Marlene asked, looking around.

James nodded, but his mind was still stuck on his unanswered question. He looked to the crowd, but there was no chance that he would catch Barty in the crowds and crowds of people present. 

If he was dating Regulus, he’d come to watch, wouldn’t he?

That was just a rumour , he remembered. Not true. A rumour.

“James?”

James looked back, and discovered that a huddle had now formed. He had somehow not felt the arms around his shoulders. He leaned into it, also putting his arms around everyone. 

“Hello, and welcome to the Spring Inter-house Competition! This is set to be a great match today. I mean, just look at the players…”

The commentary would include Regulus, no doubt. Perhaps some one-liner about how Regulus was sure to do a repeat of his actions last match. 

James closed his eyes, took a breath, and released it. He looked into the eyes of his teammates. His gaze swept over the eyes watching him. He wondered what they were feeling.

“Okay. I don’t think I need to remind you of how hard we’ve worked. We’ve prepared for this moment,” James began. Murmurs of assent rose from the teammates. Marlene nodded.

“I have faith in every single one of you, and I need you to all have faith in yourselves. I know there may be some doubts,” here James looked towards Delilah, “but I can only assure you that I have picked the best team out there, and you need to trust me as well as yourselves. I trust that you all know what you’re all going to do, and you just need to trust each other, too.”

He nodded and looked at everyone, opening his mouth to speak to them all for the last time. “Play with fire , today. Don’t hold anything back. Play fair, but play with passion !”

Marlene whooped, and the rest of the team joined in.

“Gryffindor on three!” She grinned, as the time was about to run out on the clock. Everyone put their hands in the middle, carrying smiles. “One, two, three-”

“Gryffindor!”

Amidst thunderous cheers, they took off. James, ready in his position, felt Marlene's reassuring grip on his shoulder as they passed each other, exchanging a shared smile.

James could not help but look at Regulus, who he was surprised to find was also looking at him. James offered him a smile, and Regulus looked away. 

James looked at his teammates, ignoring his disappointment at Regulus looking away. He couldn’t think of him. 

James waited with bated breath as the whistle blew and the Quaffle was thrown into the air. 

“And the game has begun! Will James Potter’s Gryffindors come out on top again, or will a certain Seeker stop his winning run…”

James hoped not. He then tuned out the commentary, focusing on what was in front of him.

James and Marlene immediately positioned themselves at the edges of the pitch, level with the Slytherin Chasers. James kept his focus on the Quaffle. The Slytherins had immediately went for it.

“A quick start to the game! Well, the new and improved Slytherin team looks much quicker this year. Nobody has been able to keep up!”

James grit his teeth and flew forward to mark the other Chaser. Marlene dodged a well-aimed Bludger, and flew to the Chaser with the Quaffle. She deftly rolled away, and flew up to snatch the Quaffle as it was quickly thrown to the Chaser that James was marking. James darted forward, looking at his surroundings for any Bludgers. 

“James, to your right!” Marlene called over the loud crowd, and James darted to his left. A Bludger almost collided with him.

As he soared ahead, James noticed Dorcas taking her position in front of the goalposts. Marlene lobbed the Quaffle to James, and he nearly threw it through the rightmost circle. Dorcas dived for it, but it was deflected off the end of her fingers. 

“And what a start for the Gryffindors! It’s already ten-zero! What a run from the…”

James couldn't help but grin triumphantly as he high-fived Marlene, relishing the successful play. Delilah grinned, but she tapped James to say something in his ear.

“I can’t mark him,” she hissed. “He just flies and…shakes me off. Should I stop?”

James paused for a breath, his smile fading. He had just forgotten Regulus in his euphoria, and now he had just returned, memories of him seeping into James’ mind.

“Later on. You’re eagle-eyed. Try to spot it yourself, if that makes it easier. But keep marking him for now, we’re only ten minutes in. He may get tired…”

James gave her a shaky smile, and she nodded, face placid. 

James got himself back into position, preparing himself for a heavy counterattack. 

He was correct. The Slytherins were quick to retaliate. 

They moved seamlessly through James’ players, the Beaters sending misdirected hits to where the Chasers certainly were not going.

“Twenty-ten to Slytherin! Just look at the way that they weave through the players! Will the Gryffindors…”

The game reset, and the Slytherins flew for the Quaffle again, resuming their rhythm. Marlene managed to intercept a pass, and was about to make for James, before a Bludger hit Marlene’s arm, slipping the Quaffle out of her hand. She was hit back, and rubbed her arm. The Quaffle flew through the air.

James, now panicked, made for the Quaffle, and grabbed it successfully. He clenched his jaw and flew to the corner of the pitch, directing a feint on the way. He felt his bones hum with anticipation, sweat glistening on his forehead.

James approached Dorcas, who was already positioned. From more than 20 yards out, he threw it to the leftmost hoop, but was severely disappointed.

“And what a save! This campaign now looks like Slytherins for the taking! And away the Quaffle goes to the Chaser at the end…”

James looked to Delilah, who was trailing a meter behind Regulus. She was too far away. 

He then looked to his Keeper, who dived completely the wrong way. James clenched his fist.

“Thirty-ten! But still, we can await a comeback from Mckinnon and Potter, surely! The Gryffindor crowd certainly seems to think so…”

He looked at Delilah. He moved his hand in a gesture, saying away from Regulus . 

Delilah nodded and drove a distance between her and the Seeker. Regulus’ eyes flicked towards her and then to James. He blinked and looked away.

If only James himself could follow the advice he gave to Delilah. James shook the thought away and continued on.

James and Marlene scored three times more, but with far more exertion and effort than the Slytherin Chasers. The Slytherins had also scored in between the three goals.

James took a breath. A series of saves from both Keepers had kept the game all even. James still tried his hardest to orchestrate the strategies, but his team grew somewhat sloppy as more and more time passed.

Bludgers almost hit Marlene instead of the opposing Chasers, and they found themselves often in the way of other teammates. But even James and Marlene had almost fumbled the Quaffle once or twice.

James had to keep reminding himself to look away from Regulus, even when he swept through the crowd. Delilah mirrored his movements from the other end of the pitch. She seemed to be more secure this way.

However, the Slytherins scored twice more in the 70th and 75th minute. Lightning fast passes had been produced. The roar of the crowd had almost drowned out the commentary. 

“ Sixty-forty! Much less goals than anticipated in this match, but just look at…”

“Stay in formation!” James yelled, trying to subdue his anger. He took a breath and released it. “You play far too quickly. Slow it down, or you’ll get sloppier.”

“We’ve got this!” Marlene added, encouragingly. The Beaters and Keepers gave small smiles, nodding and murmuring between themselves.

Marlene shoved James, but not hard enough to make it seem as if she was genuinely irritated with him. “Calm down. This means a lot to all of us too. We can score three more, okay? Trust us. And don’t yell at anyone.”

James nodded.

“And is that camaraderie or enmity from the Gryffindors? It seems as if tensions are running high…”

James called Marlene over once more quickly. “I’ll go for the Quaffle first. We can go from there.”

Now Marlene nodded. They both returned to their positions. James clenched and unclenched his fist.

The whistle blew, and James went forward, But he was stopped by Delilah sweeping through the pitch.

James felt his stomach sink.

Marlene shared a look with James, but she still signalled for James to go on. So he did, even though Marlene looked as though she clearly knew what was happening.

Perhaps if there was another reset from a goal, Regulus would have to stop his chase.

James grasped the Quaffle in his hand, and lobbed it to Marlene, hope and desperation clawing at him.

James flew, but a Bludger heavily hit his arm. He felt it pulse and throb as he clutched it and hissed through his teeth.

James stopped on his broom as sharp pain shot through his arm. He didn’t stop because of the pain, though. 

He stopped because he knew it was over. 

Everyone on the pitch had turned to look at the Seekers.

Regulus tilted into a sharp dive, becoming only a green streak followed by a red and gold one as he flew on.

His arm was outstretched, closing around a faint glimmer that James could scarcely see, but he knew Delilah could as she did the same.

He willed her to reach it first somehow, but James knew there was no chance of it. Regulus was laser focused, the gold becoming more and more prominent as James continued to just watch.

The world seemed to stop and quieten as Regulus closed the distance between him and the Snitch. His hair was tousled now, James realised. His eyes weren’t narrowed, and were instead widened as if Regulus was attempting to see as much of the Snitch as possible.

“What a stunning chase from Regulus Black! Absolutely wonderful!”

And as the whistle blew, confirming James’ fears, Regulus emerged out of the dive, gold shining beneath his pale fingers. Regulus' eyes scanned the pitch and found James’.

James didn’t smile this time. He looked away as soon as Regulus’ eyes had found him.

Raw frustration and anger rose in James like bile. 

He had lost. 

James landed on the ground with a jolt, along with his teammates. He fought the urge to slam his broom on the ground. 

James grit his teeth. 

Marlene caught up with him hastily, expression also frustrated. “You can’t leave. Speak to them.”

James took a breath. “I’ll end up yelling at them.”

“I don’t give a shit,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. “This is their first loss of the year, too.”

James looked at Marlene. He nodded. Marlene smiled, but it was more of a grimace than an expression of joy.

James blew hot air into his hands and rubbed them. The sky was now cloudy and darkened, the sun muted and dimmed. 

He approached his teammates who were awkwardly standing in a circle, some flicking at invisible specks on their brooms, some smoothing down their clothes.

“We could have played better,” he gritted out, trying to search for some complimentary words to say. 

James looked up and saw Regulus with the Snitch, letting it flutter and catching it again. He had done that yesterday. 

Regulus had more emotion than his past win. He was discussing with his teammates details of the match, and he even appeared amused at some things that they were saying. 

It was more Regulus making him angry than the whole Slytherin team. So how could James reassure them about the team when James needed to be reassured about Regulus?

“Take this as an opportunity to learn. We gave them a challenge, but it wasn’t enough.” James then said, the lie slipping easily off his tongue. “We can improve next time. I have every hope.”

 He gave them all a final nod and walked away. 

Marlene glared at him a bit, and began to say some words of her own.

As James left, he took a final look back, and saw Regulus landing. 

Regulus smoothed his hair down, and held his broom in his hand. He then approached Barty and Evan.

James quickened his pace and stormed into the changing rooms.

**

James sat in his dorm, reeling from the loss that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“How does he do it so quickly? Is he taking some potion?” James sat up on his bed and looked at Remus. “Is there one?”

Remus narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “There is one, but they take a long time to brew.”

“How long?”

“Two weeks for a professional. Far longer for an intermediate student. He can’t have made it in time for the match.”

James sighed. Sirius moved to sit down next to him. He frowned. 

“Well, go ask him yourself. If you’re friends, he might tell you,” Sirius tapped against the bed frame.

We aren’t friends, James wanted to say, but he instead swallowed. He clenched his fist again at the thought of the boy. “I really don’t want to talk to him right now.”

Peter looked up. “Where’s your broom?”

James blinked at the sudden question and looked around the dorm. Not propped up against the wall. Not on the floor. Not on a bedside table.

He groaned and leaned back onto the wall beside his bed. “I left it in the changing room. Oh, for goodness’ sake…”

Peter furrowed his eyebrows and put his book down. He had been reading Ultimate Herbology Index: NEWT Level . “Did you leave it on purpose?”

James’ eyes narrowed and snapped to Peter. “Why would I do that? I don’t want to go back there! I lost!”

Peter put his hands up in mock surrender, and picked his book up again. “Well, Regulus might still be there.”

“Why?” Remus asked, looking at Peter. 

Sirius looked confused about what Peter had said. Remus threw a glance at James, and James immediately understood that he only asked to divert Sirius’ attention from Peter’s naive question.

“There’s the trophy lift, isn’t there?” Sirius answered.

James shook his head. “There’s no trophy for this.” He considered for a moment. “I’ll quickly get it and then I’ll leave. Do you think they’re still there?”

Sirius laughed and shook his head. “They’re too prim and proper to party on the pitch until sunrise. Besides, it’s dark. They’ll barely know you’re in front of them if there even is anyone there, Prongs.”

James nodded and stood up. He gave his friends a shaky grin. “Well, you’ll see me soon if I haven’t been mauled to death.”

“Shall I go with you?” Remus asked. James shook his head. 

James gave a mock salute, and stepped out of the dorm room. He stepped into the corridor, and felt a few glances in his direction. James suppressed a sigh at the sore reminder of his loss.

As he trudged further, he remembered that he had his Invisibility Cloak and almost face palmed. That would have given him much more ease . He was exposed fully.

James quickly made his way down to the field, skies now much more darkened, a brisk chill clinging to the air. He shivered, slightly.

James stepped onto the grass, making for the Gryffindor changing rooms. However, he would need to walk past the Slytherin changing rooms first. James winced. 

He suddenly cursed his teammates for not giving his broom to him, but then stopped himself. James thought he had been quite harsh on them, barely giving them the time of day after the loss. 

He’d apologise in their next practice. He wasn’t angry at them. He was angry at someone else.

James strode briskly past the changing rooms and went to the Gryffindor ones. They were quite a long walk away from one another. Some of the overhead lights were still on, but James was less bothered. There were not many people around.

As he neared, a movement from his peripheral vision caught his attention. James turned slightly and saw someone emerge from the doorway.

He turned away, attempting to dismiss the encounter, but it proved futile.

“Evening,” James heard from behind him. He tensed slightly and turned to spot Regulus.

“Go away,” James responded gruffly, and turned away. Regulus, however, walked towards him. James felt a small thrill but a burst of anger at this. 

“Good game, today,” Regulus fell into step with James. James rolled his eyes. 

“Oh yeah. Absolutely splendid. I really enjoyed myself, Regulus,” James retorted, folding his arms. This was only done because of the biting cold. James had not brought an overlayer.

Regulus arched an eyebrow, a clear amusement coloring his features again. “In a bad mood, I take it?”

James looked forward. He was nearly at the Gryffindor changing rooms. “Good guess. Here to gloat in my face?”

“On the contrary. You played well.”

“No we didn’t!” James burst out, looking at Regulus. They were outside the Gryffindor changing rooms now, James closest to the wall. He turned to look at Regulus, and was greeted by grey eyes that glinted and reflected the light above.

He looked softer and less…powerful, than he did in the Quidditch match. James still hated it.

A half-smile played on Regulus’ lips, and James fixed his jaw at seeing it. “Well, I cannot argue with that. You said it yourself.”

“Thanks for your vote of sympathy,” James said. He received a low chuckle from Regulus and absolutely hated it.

“A loss was bound to occur. Does the valiant James Potter not grow tired of winning?”

“Are you trying to make me feel better?”

Regulus hummed, and shrugged slightly. “Well, I found the match fun. That does not usually happen.”

“Fun for you, maybe,” James muttered. He still stepped forward towards Regulus and didn’t know why. To merely close the gap, maybe, like Regulus had done with the Snitch.

“Very,” Regulus replied lightly. “It was quite easy too.”

“Oh, shut up. If I hadn’t gotten hit by the Bludger and scored , then the score—”

“Would have been the same,” Regulus filled in, smoothly. He smiled properly this time, and James hated how he felt like smiling back, even though he was oh so angry. “I caught the snitch. Unless you were winning by 160 points, then perhaps you would still have stood a chance.”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore,” James huffed, turning away to conceal the frustration etched on his face. But he didn’t step back.

“Shame,” Regulus said in a quiet voice. “Why are you here?”

“Forgot my broom,” James said. He turned away to open the room to the Gryffindor changing room, feeling deeply the loss of Regulus’ proximity.

“And here I was, thinking you were here for my company.”

James fumbled with the lock and opened it. He stepped inside and Regulus followed.

“Are you always this insufferable after a win?” James asked, but his voice shook during the sentence. 

Regulus was a shock every time they met. He had gone from scarcely communicating to mocking him within a week. James was undeniably happy about this, however and hated that too. This hate and this love flipped like a switch in James. Or so he convinced himself.

“Occasionally,” Regulus shrugged. He leaned against a beam, still inspecting the room with a small awe. “I can see that this loss injures you. Some say losing builds character.”

James swallowed. The venom that he had inside him had disappeared. He was now more… nervous. He was in a room alone with Regulus.

James looked for his broom, first going to where he was before and then looking on the small shelves. It wasn’t there.

“I don’t want life lessons from you,” James replied. This was true. That was very far down on what James had wanted from Regulus. But right now James slightly hated him, so he stopped thinking about that.

“What do you want then?” Regulus asked suddenly, but as James turned to look at Regulus, he looked away.

A breath escaped James’ mouth as he walked to the broom rack. There he found his broom. “I want to win.”

Regulus was silent for a beat. “You need to lose to win. My captain said that when we lost against Hufflepuff a month ago. Though, it was probably said to soften the loss.”

James grasped his broom and went towards the door, but grew closer to Regulus as a result. “Yeah, well, I’d prefer winning without losing.”

James stopped when he was a mere step away from Regulus. He could see his eyelashes again, and the eyebrows that were one of his only facial features to show emotion.

“I have lost before,” Regulus said. His voice sounded…strained. Possibly from remembering his loss. James understood the sentiment. “You still played well, even if it wasn’t enough. That is worth being congratulated.”

“ Congratulations ?” James’ anger flared slightly. He grasped his broom tighter. “Is that a joke? You’re mocking me!”

Regulus met James’ harsh gaze with a gaze more intense. “I am not. I think you are taking this far too seriously. You were bound to lose at some point. What if it was…fate?”

“Then fate can go hang itself,” James hissed, clenching his jaw again. “I hate losing. More than anything. I don’t think you get it.”

“Of course I understand that,” Regulus said, pushing himself off the locker he was leaning on. The distance between them grew smaller. James felt his heart pound. “You have won against me five times . How do you think I felt?”

James’ mouth felt slightly dry. “Upset?”

Regulus frowned slightly. “No. I completely hated you.”

Something in James felt put out at the confession. Remus had said the same thing, but without the word “completely”.

“That’s a strong word,” James mumbled, caught off guard and slightly hurt. 

“I know,” Regulus pursed his lips. “It was only reasonable. You were winning . I was not.”

“And now?”

Regulus sighed, and James felt his breath slightly on his face. He felt his ears heat up slightly. “Of course, I no longer hate you. Not all the time, at least.”

James swallowed again. Regulus looked away.

A stray black lock of hair had escaped from Regulus’ hair, James saw as Regulus turned his head. 

Forgetting all reason, he grasped it and smoothed it down. His hair was soft, and smooth. It stayed where James had put it.

Regulus’ head snapped back. He had an incredulous expression.

James scrambled for an explanation. He bit his tongue. “Your hair gets messy. After you play Quidditch…”

“So does yours,” Regulus responded. 

“Yeah,” James rasped.

Regulus’ gaze lingered. “Do you always fix things that bother you?”

“No,” James responded without thinking. 

Regulus’ gaze held a mix of curiosity and something else, a spark that James couldn't quite decipher. The silence stretched, the tension between them reaching a crescendo.

And then, almost on impulse, James leaned in, closing the remaining distance between their lips, leaning a hand against the locker. 

Suddenly, James realised what he was doing, and abruptly pulled back. He blinked at Regulus, once, twice, and then looked away. The kiss was so brief James couldn’t remember it, even though he was trying to.

James’ cheeks were flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and some other hidden emotion.

“Sorry. Don’t know what I was thinking.”

Regulus laughed, quietly but looking away. James hated that now, because it made James want to kiss Regulus again. 

“Do you do that to every Seeker?” He asked, dryly. 

James chuckled, but did not welcome the topic change. “No. Only the Beaters.”

His attempt at humour was effective, James realised, as Regulus’ lips twitched up. He wanted to press his mouth to them, but he couldn’t quite meet Regulus’ gaze.

Tell me what you’re thinking , James willed.

“That was unexpected,” Regulus tilted his head, his eyes on James’ face.

James ran a hand through his hair, taking a step back. “You’re right. It was.”

Regulus, however, took a step closer. “Unexpected but not…unwelcome.”

There.

It was as if the tension snapped, or the awkwardness evaporated as James took a step forward with newfound courage to capture Regulus’ lips again in the next second. He could feel it this time. He knew he would remember it.

Regulus responded this time, and put a tentative hand to James’ jaw. James shivered slightly, and rested a hand on Regulus’ waist, the other on the locker behind. 

It was like a magnetic pull, like some element that cannot have been discovered before this moment suddenly being revealed to James, and the side effects were only one name echoing in his head. He could feel them both gradually becoming more firm as time went on.

It was fervent, slow but intense, unexpected but deliberate. Long, but far too brief .

The light above them flickered, and Regulus pulled away. James lifted his hands, and placed them awkwardly by his side, taking a breath.

The flickering light cast shifting shadows across Regulus' face as they both tried to make sense of the charged moment. James, still caught in the whirlwind of emotions, felt an uneasy weight settle in the pit of his stomach.

“Promise me you’re not talking to him because you want to date him, okay?”

“He wouldn’t date a Slytherin, least of all my Slytherin brother!”

The words echoed in James' mind, a haunting reminder of the promise he had made to Sirius. The pool of guilt deepened within him, and the silence that followed seemed to stretch endlessly.

Regulus, sensing the shift, looked at James with a furrowed brow, concern etching his features. James, attempting to compose himself, shook his head and directed his gaze towards the flickering light.

He took a breath, his mind racing to catch up with what had happened. 

And the pool of guilt that settled in his stomach.

How could James have forgotten?

Silence settled over them both. The light illuminated Regulus’ features. Grey eyes alight. Grey eyes dulled.

“Are you…alright? Did something happen?” Regulus asked, peering at James. His eyebrows were now slightly pinched. James wanted to smooth the crease.

James moistened his lips, lips that had just touched Regulus’. He looked back at Regulus.

“I promised your brother not to do that.”

Regulus frowned slightly. “So?”

“I…broke the promise. That’s a bad thing,” James answered, looking at Regulus. Why was Regulus merely perplexed in response to James’ guilt?

“I fail to see how,” Regulus huffed, smoothing down his cloak. 

“How?! That’s my best friend!”

“Well, it’s my brother.”

James blinked, and let a laugh rattle out of him. It was almost hysterical.

Somehow, James’ worry had somehow left him. Somehow, Regulus had posed a good argument.

James looked to Regulus again. Regulus’ lips were parted slightly. 

Is this the part where James kisses him again, or not?

“You have a nice laugh,” Regulus commented, looking away at the wall behind James. 

James swore that his heart stopped. James grinned. He couldn’t help it. “That’s one way to break the tension. You have a nice laugh too, you know. Nice is honestly an understatement.”

“Oh.”

James watched Regulus, who was now studying him intently. Had James said too much? 

Stop stalling , James willed. Talk to me .

Regulus took a step closer. Before James could respond or throw in a witty comment, he felt two hands on his face and lips on his, making his eyes flutter shut. A hand slid under James’ jaw slightly, elegant hands cradling the side of his face.

Tendrils of heat sparked through James as he placed two hands on Regulus’ waist again.

Again . The word made James’ mind fuzzy, and his blood felt aflame.

Was this the second time? The fourth? James couldn’t count, his thoughts slipping out of his mind.

James hand had somehow wound up in Regulus’ hair, clutching softly, angling his face to deepen the kiss. He combed fingers through Regulus’ silky hair, something he realised that he had really wanted to do since he laid eyes on him.

Purely for air, James pulled away, breathing heavily. He looked down at the ground. James moved his left hand from Regulus’ hair, but kept the other on his waist. He drank in the scent of Regulus. He could smell an intoxicating blend of grass, wood and something both familiar and enticing.

James couldn’t help another laugh, fueled by adrenaline and other, bundled emotions. He looked up to Regulus, seeking eyes that now were sparking .

“This is absurd. You can’t keep doing that,” James huffed, but he leaned in closer. “Sirius—”

“I don’t want to hear about Sirius,” Regulus interrupted. “Let me kiss you again.”

And James let him, because what else was he meant to do?

Chapter Text

James tapped his quill against his piece of parchment, half-heartedly attempting to listen to what Slughorn was telling the class. They would definitely be tested, James guessed, and yet he still did not listen.

Over the two days, James’ guilt had continued, but Regulus had somehow convinced him that Sirius “did not matter”. James disagreed, but there was something about Regulus that was incredibly, incredibly convincing. 

He had told Remus, and he had been on the fence about it. On the one hand, it was his best friend’s brother. James was being slightly horrible by dating(?) him. On the other hand, Sirius had been selfish and short-sighted by telling James to make him such a promise. Remus did not encourage this, nor tell James to stop.

“Be careful,” Remus had said, with a small smile.

James probably was not being careful. 

James had snuck off many times with Regulus, and it got better every time. Even if they hadn’t exactly defined their relationship yet. They had snogged, yes, but there was no romantic looking into each other’s eyes and poetic I have liked you ever since I laid eyes on you . They spoke, laughed, kissed and that was that.

James looked down at the textbook to carry out his next step. 3) Four Porcupine quills cut to 4cm. Make sure to be exact and expect a purple colour, and (in some cases) a mist to seep out. 

James missed having a partner to produce the potions with. Remus would have no doubt gotten the ingredients and had told James to stir whilst he would prepare them. Peter would make James do all of the individual methods with him, and Sirius would often cut corners to save time and joke around.

He wondered what Regulus would do, but stifled the thought. Somehow, James felt as if the “relationship” between him and Regulus was slightly one-sided. He couldn’t take his mind off the fact that there was no explicit conversation of their liking towards one another.

James knew he liked Regulus. All he knew about Regulus was that Regulus thought James had a nice laugh.

He let out a breath and went to fetch the quills from the front of the room, being careful not to prick himself. It had happened last time, and his yelp had sounded out in the silent room. Never again.

He grasped the quills and arranged them on his worktop. James found his ruler, and measured out each once, cutting them raggedly with the scalpel. 

Better than nothing. James shrugged and tossed them in. He then looked back to the textbook.

-Note: be sure to place each component in the mixture one by one, and stir once anticlockwise before each insertion. If this is not done, the Potion will turn into a dark red colour. This can be remedied, however, by carrying out the next steps very correctly.

James swore under his breath and began to stir the cauldron. Dark red emerged. He looked to the next step, stirring some more.

4) Now, begin to stir. Make sure that you go 2 stirs clockwise, and one anticlockwise. Once the Swelling Potion begins to give off dense smoke, wait a minute and carry out the next step.

James swore again. He had stirred the mixture haphazardly before looking, not knowing what direction. 

James peered, again looking for the note saying what to do if this was not done correctly.

If this is not done, continue to stir the Potion as said, but the smoke will be considerably lighter. The potion will have a subdued effect. Turn to page 34 for the theory behind this.

He began to stir according to the instructions again, kicking himself. Slughorn had said that this was a finicky potion, and James had not taken him seriously. The bloke had a strange way of speaking.

Smoke fizzed from the potion finally, emerging slowly. James immediately stopped stirring, and looked at the clock. He timed a minute in his head.

Not many were at his stage, James noticed, but he was not quick to congratulate himself. He had rushed.

James looked at the next step after a minute.

5) Finally, add five millilitres of water and wait a minute. The theory behind this is on page 57. For the Swelling Potion to be effective, it must be exact. The Swelling Potion should turn a very light orange as a final result, and should contain bubbles in it. A near-ineffective Swelling Potion will turn dark orange, and an incorrectly brewed Swelling Potion will frequently turn red, or any other colour.

The textbook then began to talk about theory. James turned away.

James braced himself to receive a colour that was not light orange, and went to fill a measuring cylinder with water from a tap at the front. 

James then poured it in slowly and waited patiently. He was greeted by a bubbling dark orange, close to black. Lovely.

“Oho!” Slughorn said with a somewhat conspiratorial grin, as if James had brewed something incredible. He bent as if he was speaking in a hushed tone, but he wasn’t really. “Finished, Potter?”

James smiled meekly. “Yeah.”

Slughorn peered over and his smile dropped slightly. “Potter, it is a bit…”

“Dark?” James filled in. Slughorn nodded and scooped some Potion up in a glass tube. He then brought out a leaf.

He placed it on the table and poured the Swelling Potion over it. The leaf twitched and grew slightly, inflating and then deflating. 

Slughorn nodded slightly, but stepped back and took the leaf. “Well, I’d advise you to take better care next time. But good effort. Think about what to improve.”

He then walked away, leaving James to tidy up. And James somehow began thinking of Regulus again.

**

“Fancy a break?” James greeted, after walking across the library. Madam Pince had given him a death stare, but he took it in stride. He made a mental note to talk quietly.

Regulus looked up from the book that he was poring over. James almost had to catch his breath after seeing the scene. How did Regulus look handsome reading ?

“What did you have in mind?” Regulus asked, looking up and leaning back. He rubbed his neck slightly, and straightened his back.

“Talking,” James nodded, taking the chair opposite Regulus.

“Ah,” Regulus nodded back. He brushed his quill against his hand, and put it on the table. “And what of your Charms lesson?”

James mockingly gasped in shock. “Me? No, I have a free period. How do you know my lessons, anyway?”

Regulus blinked and shrugged slightly. James thought he saw his ears tinged with red. “I just do. Anyhow, is this a serious talk or a conversation?”

“Serious,” James insisted, and then dropped his voice low. “I need to ask you something.”

Regulus cocked his head and leaned forward slightly. “As you wish. Is this a good spot, though?”

James looked around. They were behind a large section of books, next to a far wall. There were only a few students at this time. It was the first period, after all. James stood up and dragged his chair to the side of the table, so that Regulus could hear him whisper. Not for any other reasons.

“I can’t really roam the corridors. I don’t really have a free period. Sorry for lying,” James responded, smirking slightly. Regulus tutted. James could see how his lips were curled up even more clearly from up close.

“You are forgiven. Ask me your question.”

James looked at Regulus. He had his head propped up on his hand, lips slightly curled up as if James was telling some funny joke. 

Regulus looked at ease . James was barely used to this demeanour of his, even if he had snogged it many times. 

James took a breath and released it. “What are we?”

Regulus furrowed his brows. He sat up and tilted his chair to look at James. He looked up as if considering the question for a beat. Was he about to call James a friend ? An enemy ? 

“I do not understand,” Regulus spoke, thinking aloud. “Can you rephrase that?”

“Are the words not proper enough for you to comprehend?” James smiled slightly, but it was a gesture of nerves. Regulus jokingly swatted at James. James dodged him.

“Well, it’s a vague question. What do you mean by it?”

James paused and sighed. “Are you really going to make me say it so bluntly?”

“Yes.”

James looked down at the table and drummed his index finger on it. He swallowed. “We, er, never properly discussed… us . What’s happening between us, I mean.”

James looked up at Regulus. He let out a breath, and looked at James, puzzled.

“Do we need to?”

“Yes!” James burst out, slightly hurt at Regulus’ reluctance. 

James was hushed by Madam Pince, of whom could not be seen from this part of the library. The sound still carried through. 

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek and picked at his nails. “I just assumed we were…seeing one another.”

Relief swept through James. He let out a breath, and let himself grin. Regulus looked up at him, curious and peering.

“Was I wrong?”

James stifled a laugh at Regulus’ expression. He turned to him, dragging his chair closer to Regulus, half so that he didn’t need to speak loudly and half just because . “You can’t just assume something and not tell me!”  

Regulus raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. “I thought my intentions were clear.”

“Clearly not, since I was left wondering what your intentions were in my Potions class. I scuffed the Potion up too, thinking about how one-sided I thought this was!” James shot back playfully. Regulus narrowed his eyes, but then they flicked back to normal in a millisecond.

“Sorry, then,” Regulus’ lips twitched with a suppressed smile. “What did you think we were?”

James shrugged. “You didn’t exactly make it clear .”

Regulus paused, as if considering something. James merely waited for him to finish his trail of thought.

Regulus looked at James and spoke in a hushed tone, meeting his gaze steadily. “Okay. Let me make it clear, then.”

“I like where this is heading,” James grinned again. Regulus swatted at him to be quiet. 

“I do…like you.”

James playfully leaned back with an annoyed expression, but his grin only grew larger. The three words had suddenly made James feel quite warm inside. “Is that it, Black? I know you’ve got—”

“I’m not done!”

“My mistake. Please, carry on. I’d love to hear how wonderfully handsome you think I am.”

“And modest , too,” Regulus said drily. He rolled his eyes, but now continued to speak sincerely and quietly. “This is not one-sided. Not for you, anyhow. I have… liked you for longer than I care to admit, and—”

“What?!” James exclaimed, looking at Regulus, who was now slightly flushed and frowning. James couldn’t help but laugh properly . 

Regulus looked pointedly at James, and shushed him. Before James could speak again, a voice behind their table made him freeze.

“JAMES POTTER!”

Regulus groaned slightly, and James turned around, wincing. Madam Pince was glaring daggers at him, carrying books that she was probably stocking. James had not heard her at all.

“You are in a library!” She hissed. “One more peep, and I will indefinitely ban you! Silence!”

“Sorry. Won’t do it again,” James offered, giving her his most lovely smile. Pince only frowned more.

“You had better! Now get a book to read and stay quiet!”

With that, she shuffled away, faint stomps being heard as she muttered about “insolent children”.

James leaned over the table to reach a dusty tome from the section behind them. He grasped it, and heaved it on the table, making sure to land it with a soft thud.

A Guide to Spellcasting: First year

“Might come in handy,” James quipped, whispering this time.

Regulus did not look amused. “Were you laughing at me?”

James’ gaze snapped up from the book. “What? When?”

Regulus fixed his jaw in anger , James realised. He then thought back to before he had been interrupted. James remembered with a small gasp.

“No! No, I wasn’t laughing at you ! I swear it,” James said, attempting to reassure Regulus, of whom had opened his book again.

“What were you laughing at, then?”

James paused. “Well. It was just…ironic.”

“Ironic,” Regulus repeated, glaring at James.

James nodded, giving Regulus the charming smile that he had given Pince. Sadly, the effect was the same again.

“No, no, listen,” James hastily tried to explain himself. “It’s just…I was worrying about this being one-sided on my part, and then you’ve liked me for ages too! Come on. It’s funny, isn’t it?”

Regulus’ features remained stony. James pressed on. “It’s ironic. Two people unknowingly liking each other for Merlin knows how long!”

“Alright,” Regulus nodded, looking up. “You have a strange sense of humour.”

James expected venom in his voice, but it was light instead. “But you like me anyway.”

“Sadly,” Regulus said back, looking down at the book, but James could see a smile on his face and slightly flushed cheeks.

James suddenly sighed and grabbed Regulus’ book. In his opinion, they should be kissing. What were they doing, just talking ? 

Regulus glanced at James, but with a slight curve of the lip. James pushed the book aside, and put a hand to Regulus’ jaw. He made sure to be quiet.

“I was reading that,” Regulus chastised, jokingly.

“You read too much,” James hissed back, inching closer. Before Regulus could protest further, James kissed him spontaneously, adrenaline fuelling his courage.

Regulus had a hand on the table and a hand on the nape of James’ neck. His touch was as tentative as always, but still sure at the same time. The cold fingers sent sparks through James.

James leaned forward, but Regulus tilted his head away. Their foreheads nearly touched. James could perfectly see Regulus’ eyes.

“Stupid Gryffindor courage,” Regulus whispered. “Is this what it takes to get you to be quiet in the library?”

“Yes. You’ve stopped though, so I might start shouting again. Beware.”

James leaned in again, but Regulus used the hand he had on James’ neck to keep him away. 

Traitor . James looked at Regulus incredulously. 

Regulus shook his head. “I need to ask you something. You have somehow reminded me.”

“You’re stalling me,” James grumbled, but leaned back to listen, taking his hands off Regulus. “What is it?”

“It’s about Slughorn.”

Regulus wrung his hands, slightly, after saying that. James’ eyes almost widened. Regulus was nervous .

“Why are you nervous about Slughorn ?” James asked, tilting his head to look at Regulus, who was scrambling in his cloak to find something with pursed lips.

Regulus’ deft hands now carried a small envelope. He slid it across the oak table, and James hurriedly picked it up.

He slipped the top part open and drew open the card.

Dearest Regulus Black,

You are cordially invited to attend my gathering of select pupils at my “club”. 

As always, the aim is to bring together individuals with promise and passion for their fields from all Houses to enjoy conversation as well as networking. I have very much expanded the invites today, allowing as many individuals with different backgrounds and skill levels as possible!

This will occur at 7pm today in my private quarters, and will last until at least 10pm. Formal attire is suggested, but I understand that it may be hard to come across as such, so it is not required.

Please do not come alone. I would like the opportunity to know those whom you have formed friendships with. I will be expecting everyone to have someone at their side!

Apologies for the late notice, but I strongly suggest and expect you to come. I will assume your presence at the next gathering if you are not at this one!

Warmest regards,

Horace Slughorn

James blinked, and then he looked at Regulus, who was looking at the wall as if it held some great secret.

“That’s brilliant! Wow. He tried to invite me once because of my “lineage”, but I was lousy at Potions so he never ended up doing it. Sirius also got invited once.”

Regulus looked back to James with placid features. He stayed silent. 

James read it again, attempting to fill the silence. “Wow. So, um, what about this?”

Regulus swallowed. He looked to James and leaned forward, slightly. James instinctively thought of kissing him , but held himself back. 

“Will you…come with me?”

James laughed, and then stopped in an attempt to be quiet . He nodded vigorously, a grin forming on his face as it usually did around Regulus. “Of course I will!”

But Regulus still pursed his lips, thinking. “Yes, well…Sirius and Remus may also be attending.”

Realisation dawned on James. There was the source of nerves.

“Ah.”

Remus was usually invited to these things, only opting to attend a few times. However, he had said the last time that he was going to attend the next, ranting about how pushy Slughorn was. 

James had no interest in this. Peter was far too anxious to attend. Sirius would go anywhere with Remus, so of course the two would go together.

“Well, I’ll still go,” James shrugged, ignoring his worries. “Unless you don’t want to invite anyone else to…save the trouble?”

“Evan has been invited this time, and will take Barty. Dorcas abhors the “Slug Club” and will not go, even for me. Pandora also will refuse because of her strong dislike for parties, and she may be attending with Xenophilius. And that just about exhausts my long list of friends,” Regulus listed, sighing. 

James nodded. “I’ll go. Hey, this is our first ever date, isn’t it?”

“How exciting,” Regulus said with feigned shock, and pressed his mouth to James briefly.

James huffed slightly when Regulus pulled away. He picked up the letter again. 

“ My dearest Regulus ,” James read out. He looked to Regulus. “I like the sound of that.”

Regulus scoffed at James’ overt flirting . “How shameless. We are about fifteen minutes into an established relationship.”

“Feels like fifteen years ,” James wore a self-satisfied expression at the mention of a relationship . “We go well together. Like chalk and cheese.”

“What does that mean?” Regulus leaned into James, voice low.

“It’s some muggle saying,” James answered very dutifully. “Sirius learned it. He says it a lot.”

“Stop talking about my brother,” Regulus said.

And so James stopped.

**

“Prongs!”

“Padfoot!”

Sirius gestured towards Remus, of whom was writing on a piece of parchment. Peter was not present, having joined some sort of study group with another friend of his.

James had returned from a short (by his standards) Quidditch practice. He smoothed down his hair, and walked on in the dorm.

Classes had ended hours ago , and yet Remus was still working. 

Of course he was invited to Slughorn’s party.

“Look at what our Moony’s just been invited to!” He said, shoving a creased envelope into James. “Someone’s talents haven’t gone unnoticed! He didn’t invite me this time. Phew.”

It was not as well-kept as Regulus’ he realised, as he opened the familiar invitation.

It had said the same as Regulus’, but it said My dearest Remus instead.

How was James meant to react?

On the one hand, he was also going, and so had to somehow break the news to his friends. On the other hand, he also felt like just erasing all mention of Regulus with Sirius present.

“That’s great!” James settled on saying, nodding at it. He placed the invitation back in the envelope and put it on Remus’ bed. “Well, aren’t you going to pick out your outfit?”

Remus looked at James and shrugged. He shut his book, a sign that he was genuinely invested in the conversation. “I don’t have any proper suits. Mind lending me anything? Sirius is a dwarf , so none of his clothes will fit me.”

“Oi! I’m average height!” Sirius exclaimed. He threw a pair of grey trousers at Remus.

“That’s what all midgets say,” Remus smirked, catching them. 

James winced. 

Yes, he had clothing to spare, but he needed to wear it himself .

James pictured in his mind what he had in his possession. Two black trousers, one white shirt. He cursed himself for not bringing another like his mother had suggested.

Remus looked at James expectantly. Yes, it was probably odd that James had not immediately showed Remus to his wardrobe. 

James laughed slightly. “Well, I can’t.”

Sirius suddenly came over and sat down. He had a tie in his hand, and was fiddling with it. It was in some elaborate knot. Sirius wordlessly handed it to Remus, who began to untie it. They had probably been doing this before James came.

“What do you mean?” Remus asked, not looking up from the tie. “Sirius, what on earth have you done…”

“It was like that when I pulled it out!” Sirius sighed, and leaned back on Remus’ bed. He looked up at James, confused. “Yeah. You have spare clothes, right? You usually give them to Remus.”

James chuckled and wiped his sweaty palms on his cloak. “Yes, but I can’t this time. Because I’m also attending the gathering.”

Remus’ gaze snapped up, and Sirius’ eyes widened.

“You got invited too? That’s brilliant!” Sirius jumped up and shook James’ shoulder. “Hey, if you invite Peter, we can have a Marauders hangout. Maybe we can manage to prank them. We could hide snakes in the drinks, or something…”

“It’s not a prank if it’s a health hazard ,” Remus chided, but he smiled slightly when he looked at Sirius.

“Pfft. We can use harmless snakes. Or we could just put goldfish in the drinks. That would be hilarious. What shall we do, James?”

James was silent for a beat. How could he put this? Sirius would find out at the party, James realised. He couldn’t not snog Regulus for three whole hours.

James diverted his thoughts from snogging Regulus and looked up with a shaky smile. “I can’t bring Peter, sadly. Because, um, I’m a plus one. For somebody.”

Sirius deflated slightly, but still spoke. “For who?”

James looked at Remus almost pleadingly. Remus’ mouth opened slightly with realisation. His shoulders slumped, as if he was saying “not Regulus again”.

“Regulus,” James gritted out, looking down at the ground. He braced himself for Sirius’ reaction.

“Oh, alright,” Sirius nodded. “Of course he gets invited. Odd little thing.”

James felt a small spark of anger, but calmed himself. He nodded. He’d be able to go, at least with his newly established boyfriend .

James cleared his throat. “So, I’ll need to be wearing my suit. Sorry. I can lend you a pair of trousers, though.”

“Thanks. Sirius, I’ll take your shirt. Biggest, please,” Remus added. He moved to open his trunk under his bed, dragging it out. Clicking it open, Remus rummaged through.

“What are you looking for?” Sirius asked, holding a grey dress shirt. “Here. This is a bit big.”

Remus smiled and took it. Sirius swallowed and sit down where Remus had been sitting before.

James watched this strange dynamic with intrigue.

“My father sent me a cloak,” Remus answered. He pulled out a black cloak with white stitches. 

James put out a hand to feel it. It slipped between James’ fingers, shining slightly. “That’s smooth. Wow.”

James checked Peter’s antique clock that was on his bedside table. The time read 6:34. Time had passed.

Where was James to find Regulus? Approaching the Slytherin Dorms did not seem like an attractive option. Perhaps he’d just stalk the corridors until they found each other.

James left Sirius and Remus to talk and went to grasp his trunk. He found the first pair of black slacks that he had and that were slightly long around the legs and tossed them to Remus. After Remus called out another thanks, James fished out a dark red shirt and some similar black trousers. He decided to also wear his black cloak.

After changing, James went to the mirror that they all had shared. Sirius had been running a hand through his hair. Remus was just sitting back, drumming a hand on the bedside table.

“Move, Black, you vain rascal,” James hissed, pushing Sirius slightly. Sirius slung an arm around James and laughed.

“We both look great!” Sirius said. He pulled away and let James adjust his collar. “Regulus might start drooling. Where are you meeting up with him, anyway?”

James hoped that Regulus would start drooling, he thought, but he forced out a laugh instead of proclaiming as such.

“Don’t know,” James responded, smoothing down his hair slightly. It still stuck up, and found out there was nothing he could do. James sighed, but let it go.

“Strange,” Remus said, a wary tone to his voice. James looked to him and then away. “Shall we go, then?”

Sirius nodded and walked alongside Remus. James followed. 

He allowed himself to trail behind his two friends, of whom were talking between themselves. James did not know the time, but assumed that he was, firstly, late , and, secondly, that Regulus was definitely ready before James.

James peered around empty corridors. Most students were merely lounging in Common Rooms at this time, or studying if they were productive enough. James was usually the former. 

As the three of them approached the stairs, James looked at the corridor to the right, and saw a shifting shadow decked in silver. A flash of movement caught his high.

James backed away and looked into a recess. He was greeted by Regulus.

Of course Regulus was stunning in silver. It matched his eyes, as well as his features, the striking colour perhaps paying homage to them. The colour was refined and sparkly , words that James would use for Regulus any day. Striking cheekbones seemed even more exaggerated, as well as his gleaming pools of grey eyes that shone in the torchlight.

“Fancy seeing you here,” James smiled, brushing a hand against Regulus’ cloak and using it to pull him closer slightly. “That’s a very soft cloak. I forgot you’re obscenely rich.”

James leaned in to kiss him, but Regulus backed away, dragging James with him. His lip curled slightly. “And I forgot you are obscenely tactless. It is five minutes past seven.”

“What a shame,” James said with mock reverence, and pressed his mouth to Regulus’ briefly. They pulled apart and Regulus guided him to the stairwell.

“Try not to fall in the step this time,” Regulus said quietly, tone full of mirth. 

“Hilarious. Laugh at the guy who almost died via falling down the stairs. It’s a common method of death, you know.”

Regulus rolled his eyes and ascended the stairs. James walked next to him. He had memories of their last walk together up these stairs. 

He had been so reluctant to leave Regulus, and so eager to draw the raven-haired boy closer to him. James wondered what had gone through Regulus’ mind.

James began to ask, but Regulus beat him to speaking.

“I was thinking we could…talk. Well, I will say something, and you can tell me what you think about it.”

James blinked. They came to the last of the stairs, James thanking Merlin that he had survived the whole way of the steps.

“Go on. I’m listening.”

Regulus took a breath. He walked on with James, their shoulders touching as they walked. They walked slowly though.

“I know you care, but I do not care if Sirius…finds out. About us. If you want me to keep my distance, I will, but I will not like it.”

James stopped walking and so did Regulus. James turned to face Regulus. 

I will not like it , Regulus had said. It had been quiet, almost like a confession, like something he felt guilty for. James shook his head and placed both hands on Regulus’ shoulders.

Instinctively, James’ mind went to kissing him, but he stopped himself.

“Okay. You don’t need to then. Honestly, I wouldn’t like it either,” James looked into Regulus’ eyes. Regulus stared back, face stoic and unreadable. “I mean, if he intrudes on us doing something like snogging , I feel like that says more about Sirius than me.”

“It really does not , but go on,” Regulus smirked slightly.

James grasped Regulus’ cloak again. The silk felt increasingly smooth. “I care about you and Sirius, and the latter will just have to deal with that fact.”

“Gryffindor courage,” Regulus chimed. “Well, we must be going now.”

“One kiss for the road?” James said, fluttering his eyelashes. 

Regulus scoffed but obliged, pressing a small peck to James’ cheek. He then lightly shoved James away from the corridor, and they both walked on.

**

“Thought of going pro, Mr Potter? To say that I’ve had a possible Quidditch superstar under my tutelage would be astounding,” Slughorn smiled, nurturing a glass of red. He stood proudly, cheeks slightly flushed.

Very quickly, James had realised why so many people had a distaste for these meetings. Regulus included.

Everything Slughorn said was for his own benefit. He coerced people into talking with certain others, chattered until he would eventually be fed information from some, and sweet-talked his way into everything.

Regulus stood next to James. He had declined the offer to drink, although Slughorn insisted that he would “ turn a blind eye”. Regulus still had declined.

He was not amused, James also realised quickly. Regulus almost glared at Slughorn, but Slughorn did not return the sentiment. He spoke and looked at Regulus as if Regulus was some treasured student that would kill for him.

Greatly untrue.

“Ah, I’m not too sure,” James chuckled slightly. He was good at small conversation. Slughorn had relished this, and had immediately snapped him up. “I like the thought of becoming an auror. Helping people, you know?”

“Interesting! Very interesting! And what of you, Mr Black? Or must I specify? It seems that there are two present!” Slughorn gestured around and smiled again at Regulus, his eyes crinkling with the gesture.

“You need not when I am right in front of you,” Regulus stared back at Slughorn. “A position in the Ministry would best suit me.”

“I’d be glad to help you garner connections, but surely, with a name like yours, there is no need!”

Regulus nodded. Slughorn stayed silent, nodding at Regulus. James had been quite forgotten, and only in a split second too.

“Yes, yes. Well, I’d suggest you go on to speak to Greengrass in the corner. Delightful student. She would share your aspirations. I must be going now. Please enjoy yourselves!”

And with that, Slughorn’s figure shuffled away, arms open to embrace another student.

James looked to Regulus, of whom had a fixed jaw and folded arms. James guided Regulus to a small veneer in the room that was so crowded . 

“You really do not like him,” James surmised, looking back at the man. He was now chuckling again, with a small girl who nodded along, smiling. James wondered what she was thinking.

Regulus also looked to the Professor. “Me and every single person in this room, I believe.”

James smiled slightly and leaned towards him, placing a hand on an armchair beside them. “Ah. If it makes you feel any better, I believe you look better than every single person in this room.”

“Shameless flirt,” Regulus huffed, but he looked down to the ground. A sign that he was embarrassed. “Are you drunk?”

“No! That was juice,” James scoffed, looking in Regulus’ eyes. He had been doing it before, but when he made himself do it, it held so much more value to him. “Did you say that to escape kissing me?”

“Of course,” Regulus smirked slightly. “I do not think I have told you how dashing you look. Wear black again, please.”

“Shameless flirt,” James repeated, rubbing a hand against Regulus’ cloak. The underside was soft, lightly covered with some sort of fur. “But you said please, so…”

Regulus opened his mouth as if he was to say something, but his eyes looked to the side of James and he pushed James back. It was soft, but James relented enough to back away from Regulus.

“Nice to see you, James,” Remus sounded from behind him. He had raised eyebrows, but also smiled slightly. Amused . “Going to introduce me?”

James paused and looked between the two. “Oh. Regulus, this is—”

“We know one another,” Regulus cut in, rolling his eyes. “Evening.”

“Evening to you too,” Remus responded, nodding. He pulled at his shirt slightly, and turned to James. “Do me a favour and buy me a shirt. Big for Sirius is extremely tight for me.”

It was true. The shirt fit like a glove on Remus, but it did not look bad. It somewhat looked charming.

“That is Sirius’ shirt?” Regulus furrowed his eyebrows slightly, walking forward to stand almost in line with James. 

Remus hesitated before replying. “Well. Yeah. I don’t have dress shirts, so I…borrowed one.”

Regulus hummed, nodding slowly, as if processing something. Remus also nodded, and scuffed his shoe along the ground.

James had no idea what was going through their minds.

“Well, I’m not here to talk about my dress choice,” Remus suddenly said, looking up to James again. “It’s about Sirius.”

James shared a glance with Regulus and then looked back. He then looked around the room. “Where is—”

A voice cut through the group’s stilted conversation. 

“There you are! Been looking for you!” Sirius grinned, putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder and looking at James. “Please look serious, like we’re in some negotiation . I’ve just escaped Slughorn for the second time, and it had better be the last…”

“Right,” James dropped his smile slightly, but it was not because of Sirius’ request. He was merely waiting for the moment where Sirius would greet Regulus.

Luckily or unluckily for James, the moment greeted him after a long beat.

Sirius’ head turned slightly. He pursed his lips, as if he was considering something, but then smiled. Just like Regulus, James thought. 

“Regulus! Good company you keep, nowadays,” Sirius grinned, but it didn’t meet his eyes. His tone held an edge.

“You could say I’m taking after my darling brother,” Regulus flatly replied. 

“Wouldn’t that be a shame ?” 

The two brothers looked at one another, air crackling under their gazes.

You’d think that being brothers would make them more similar , but blood could only do so much, James thought.

“Okay! Have you, um, tried the punch?” Remus interceded, looking at Sirius. Sirius’ gaze blinked and then turned to his, as if conceding. Ever the peacekeeper.

“No, but Slughorn talked my ear off about how he enchanted it or something. How is it?”

“Good. What do you think, James?” Remus said pointedly. James had no idea how to interpret the look.

James nodded. “I liked it.”

He had not tried the punch. Only the juice.

“James, let’s go get a refill. Now,” Sirius suddenly gritted out. 

Shit.

Sirius stalked away, and James took it as an opening to follow him. Remus pat James on the shoulder. 

There was not ample room for a small discussion anywhere, so it took some time for Sirius to weave through small crowds of people with drinks in hand. He murmured a few apologies as he made his way to the opposite end of the room.

James braced himself. Something inside of him told him to just deny everything , but he knew that telling the truth would get it over and done with. 

Sirius suddenly stopped and rounded on James.

“What the hell are you doing with my brother?!”

There it was .

James moistened his lips. A few faces had turned at the sound of Sirius’ small shout. 

James met his stare. It reminded him awfully of Regulus, the way he turned his features placid and his lip curled down. 

With a sigh, he spoke. “I know that…you don’t approve, but I really do like him.

“After you promised not to!” Sirius retorted, gesturing to the other end of the room, where Regulus probably was. 

“I didn’t plan to break the promise!” James exclaimed back. He swallowed and told himself to speak quieter. “I care for him, and I would’ve done so if I did keep it.”

“Don’t act like this is some great romance. This is my brother . It’s not some random person I don’t know, so this affects me too!”

“That’s not fair,” James said, keeping his temper as best he could. “I’m serious about him. I didn’t plan for this to happen.”

Sirius raised a brow. 

“No pun intended,” James clarified hastily. Sirius sighed.

“It’s my brother,” Sirius repeated, but it was mostly to himself. He then looked up with narrowed eyes. “I mean…how would you feel if I started dating someone who’s close to you ?!”

“It depends who,” James replied slowly. Was that the best response?

“So…you wouldn’t care?” Sirius eyed James for a long moment. “What if I dated Remus or something? That would be odd, right?”

James blinked, taken aback. “Well…if you’re happy with him, it would be fine. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

James nodded. This confrontation had taken quite a turn that James hardly expected in a matter of seconds. He waited for Sirius to speak again.

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek for a long beat, looking down at the ground. He then took a breath and turned to James, as if remembering something.

It was as if a switch had flipped with the mention of Remus. James was almost shocked at how Sirius’ anger had so quickly subsided. Sirius clearly knew that James had seen this, as he looked towards him, sighing.

Sirius folded his arms. “Are you sure about this?”

“Very.”

Sirius nodded. “Well. Remus spoke to me. You should thank him for making this seem less…strange to me.”

James grinned. Oh, he definitely would. “My hero. So you’re…okay with this?”

Sirius smiled too now, but it carried some other short emotion that James couldn’t understand. “To a degree. Go reconvene with your…lover, then. Ah, I won’t get used to saying that.”

“Thanks for your blessing,” James leaned in to hug Sirius. Perhaps his glee was contagious as Sirius also wrapped his arms around James.

“Remus made me,” Sirius made clear again, as he pulled away from James. “Honestly, I think you’d have a bloody nose by now if not for him. I’m sorry for…making you promise that. He told me that it wasn’t fair of me, even if it was justified in my head. And I agree with him now.”

“I’m glad. I’m sorry for dating your brother.”

“No, you’re not,” Sirius admonished.

“No, I’m not,” James chuckled again. He then took his leave to find Regulus, Sirius telling James that he was actually going to get some more punch, because it was quite good. James left him to do so, and told himself to try some later on in the evening.

James walked through the crowd once more, nodding in acknowledgment at some familiar faces, and making for an armchair and a sofa in the corner of the room.

He spotted a familiar head of dark hair, one that was deep in conversation with Remus. They both held glasses of a purple drink. They sat next to one another, but a suitable distance away.

“…care much for it. More of a hobby than a subject,” Regulus commented. Remus nodded.

“Cahill told me that it’s for her Ministry job. I should’ve asked her to elaborate. A shame.”

“ Cahill is a liar. How on earth did you believe her?”

James debated between listening with amusement and interceding. He did the latter.

“Who are you gossiping about?” James grinned. 

Regulus looked up with surprise. He placed his glass on the table, the contents nearly spilling with the action. 

“I’m judging it went well?” Remus asked casually, taking a sip of his glass. He then grimaced and turned to Regulus. “How do you even drink this? It tastes like melted sugar.”

“It tastes good ,” Regulus told Remus and looked back at James expectantly.

“Thanks to Remus, it seems we have his blessing! I owe you one, Moony.”

Remus grinned, taking another sip of his drink. His face contorted slightly. “Well, he’s just dramatic . I’m sure he would’ve been okay with it even if I hadn’t…eased him into it.”

“How did you ease him into it?” Regulus asked, picking his drink back up again.

Remus shrugged. “We just spoke about how long James had a crush on you. I brought it up a lot over the last week and he eventually understood.”

“How long was it?” Regulus looked at James tentatively. It referred to James’ crush. Regulus was rather modest in speaking.

James thought the answer was merely a few days.

He grabbed the glass that Remus had left at mostly full and had taken a small sip. It did taste like melted sugar, but it was also refreshing and almost popped in James’ mouth. He took another sip.

“About a year, more or less,” Remus answered.

“What?” Regulus had a small grin playing on his lips.

James spat out his drink. “What?!” He coughed, and rubbed his mouth. “That’s news to me! You lied to him?”

Remus laughed. “What do you mean? It was a year. More or less.”

“No! I thought it was like a week! Where did you get a year from?!” James echoed, looking at Regulus. 

Regulus looked between them with raised eyebrows and said nothing. Remus also looked slightly confused. He then smirked slightly and got out his hand.

There was a list?

“There was that time where you and Peter went in the Common Room to get a book that he left behind and he told us both that you got distracted spying on Regulus for ten minutes,” Remus listed , pointing his index finger up to signal it.

“I don’t remember that,” James lied. 

He very much did, but that wasn’t really because of Regulus. It had been in January, after James had completely failed his Potions test because he thought it was the day after. 

He had been utterly crushed (to a small degree) and he could have sworn that seeing Regulus there, with the sun lighting up deft fingers that wrote at a rapid pace was like seeing an angel .

“Okay. What about last Christmas, when you told me that Regulus looked fit in his Quidditch kit? And then when I asked you to repeat yourself you told me that it was nothing?” Another finger went up.

Regulus raised an eyebrow, and James groaned, leaning back on his armchair. “Well, it was true…”

“And then every time you watched him play last year, you’d tell me about his graceful form. And then, when I went to my first ever Slug Club party, your first question was about Regulus being there.” Four fingers were now up.

“Okay, okay! Longer than a week, then,” James said, covering his face with his hands. “Please stop.”

“I did what I had to do to convince him that this ,” Remus gestured to them both, “wasn’t some fling. I also had to list many more examples.”

“You’ve made your point.”

Regulus laughed slightly. “No, I am flattered that you appreciate my form. And my Quidditch kit, it seems.”

James shot Remus a glare. The idiot was grinning. 

“Well, I’ll leave you two to kiss and make up,” Remus smirked, getting up. “You can finish my drink, James. I think I’ll start hallucinating if I keep drinking that.”

“Gladly,” James immediately went to pick it up. He took two sips and waved to Remus as he left. 

James then took Remus’ spot next to Regulus.

“A small part of me is happy that this wasn’t some week-long whirlwind romance,” James sighed, leaning back on the sofa. “Even if I didn’t know.”

“Well, here I was thinking you had an affinity for following me around at times,” Regulus studied James. “Nice surprise.”

“Many surprises today. Your brother included.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I still stand by the fact that his opinion is completely unnecessary. But if it is important to you, then fine.”

James leaned in to close the distance between them. He tasted the punch from before, the taste sparking on his lips. Regulus responded by cupping James’ cheek as usual.

James rested his forehead on Regulus’ for a beat, and then pulled away. “Tell me how long you liked me.”

“That is an embarrassing question to ask me.”

Regulus looked away from James, but James slid a hand under his jaw. “I’ll kiss you if you tell me.”

“Oh, please. You would do that anyway.”

“Very true. Why don’t you tell me?”

Regulus took a breath. “A year. And a half.”

James grinned. He couldn’t help it. He leaned it to kiss Regulus again, the gesture slightly clumsy.

Regulus pulled back. “No need to look so pleased with yourself.”

“Can’t help it,” James said, running a finger down and back up Regulus’ jaw. “I thought you hated me. You could’ve told me that you didn’t.”

“I still hate you,” Regulus responded, tone mirthless. James laughed, and pressed his mouth to Regulus’, smiling against soft lips. The kiss deepened slightly as Regulus wound an arm around James’ neck.

James was the one to pull away this time and stood up, reluctantly taking his hands off him. Regulus blinked slightly, and raised a brow. “Sorry, were we not going to hide away here until ten o'clock?”

James took a swig of Remus’ glass and kept it in his hand. He then used the other to pull Regulus up. “I want a refill. Come with me?”

“If you steer clear of Slughorn.”

“Forgot about Slughorn,” James grinned and grabbed Regulus’ hand to hoist him up. “We’ll be quick.”

Regulus nodded. He let James lead him through small crowds of people. The atmosphere had slightly increased from about an hour ago. Before, people had been reluctant to speak to one another. Now, possibly out of necessity, conversation flowed more easily.

Perhaps good things did come out of Slughorn’s gatherings.

James reached the punch table and reached for the glass jug. It had elaborate jagged edges and fine patterns on it. Light refracted out of it, making the drink shine. 

James poured himself some. 

“I’m going to say hello to Barty and Evan,” Regulus murmured in James’ ear. “Is that alright?”

James nodded. He said goodbye to Regulus and carried on pouring himself his drink. Honestly, he wanted a lot. He also almost wanted to ask Slughorn how this had tasted so good. 

Only Remus seemed to dislike it, but he was a werewolf, so obviously his tastes were strange. Maybe James would ask him. 

The glass was full and James made to pick it up, before a voice cut in from right behind him.

“James!”

The contents of the drink splashed slightly onto the cloth as James jumped . 

“Shit!” James hissed, using his cloak to mop up the mess. He turned around, ready to berate whoever had called for him.

However, James turned around to find Sirius, of whom was running a hand through his hair.

“Oh, Pads. What’s—”

“Shut up. I really need to say something.”

James blinked, taken aback. Was this about Regulus? James looked around the room. Remus was nowhere to be found and instinctively, James wondered why the two were separated.

James looked back to Sirius, of whom stood very close in front of him. He had only been this close to Regulus before kissing him. James thought that Sirius kissing him was very unlikely. So what was wrong?

“Okay, okay,” James responded breathlessly. He thought of taking a step back, but then realised that he would probably uplift the table. “What is it?”

“I lied. Before. I’m not okay with you liking Regulus because of what Remus told me. It’s for another reason.”

The first part of the sentence had almost given James a heart attack, but he nodded, ignoring his instinct to question the odd nature of such a statement. “Okay…what is it then?”

“You can’t tell a soul .”

“You have my word,” James furrowed his eyebrows. He took a quick sip of his drink. Sparkled greeted him. “Continue.”

“I understand you liking someone…close to me,” Sirius said, words rushed.

“That’s great! But why are you telling me this?” James grinned and nodded at Sirius in an attempt to encourage him to continue. Sirius looked as if he was breaking out into a sweat just saying these words. James willed for him to calm down.

“Because I’m, um, very in love with Remus, I have just realised.”

James stared at Sirius, mouth agape. He processed the revelation best he could, blinking and thinking to himself. His obliviousness struck him like a red-hot iron. James cursed himself for not figuring it out sooner.

Then a grin broke out across his face. 

“Hey, that’d make Remus my brother-in-law!”