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Jisoo is a major performer with a huge minor weakness, stage fright.
What kind of a performer gets stage fright? That’s exactly what Jisoo asks himself whenever he’s about to get ready on stage.
His heart beat increases, he starts sweating more, he feels his stomach churning, telling him to vomit, or excrete, or a combination of the two. It always took a while for him to perform because he needed enough time to calm down and run to the bathroom.
It didn’t make sense, but Jisoo always managed to display a great performance that always moved the audience.
“Hyung, you did great!” Seungkwan would compliment afterwards as he gives his older friend a bouquet of roses.
“You were a bit off-key at the end,” Jihoon would always critique, but that was his way of saying that Jisoo did a good job.
Seokmin would always take a picture of the four of them afterwards and then treating them out for Jisoo’s great performance.
Jisoo was very thankful for his friends, always being there for him and always encouraging him despite knowing how nervous he gets off-stage, minutes before the curtains rise.
And it was still a mystery as to why his stage fright was so bad. During rehearsals in the practice room, he was calm and sung his heart out and played his guitar with ease. Even the faculty members who passed by the room in the music department stopped to hear how well his acoustics and his voice blended together.
“He’s one of my best students,” his vocal trainer would humbly brag to his colleagues. “I’ve honestly never met someone with as much talent or potential.” But even he knew about Jisoo’s kryptonite.
Tips and tricks his friends gave him didn’t help at all either.
“Just imagine everyone in their underwear!” Seungcheol would jokingly say. Imagining it, Jisoo felt even more uncomfortable. Seeing people in their undergarments made him flustered and left him with a blushing face and fumbling over his words.
“Have you ever thought about just looking at us in the audience?” Junhui suggested. It was a practical and thoughtful suggestion, seeing his friends always made Jisoo at ease. But on stage, with the lights focused on him and the audience lights dimmed to almost completely dark, it was hard for Jisoo to see, even when his friends were in the first row.
It was horrible, and it stressed Jisoo out to no extent. He actually considered switching majors from performance major to a composition major like Jihoon. But the fact that his younger friends, Seungkwan and Seokmin, said they wanted to major in performing just because of him made Jisoo consider otherwise.
–
It wasn’t until the following semester that Jisoo met another performance major, Yoon Jeonghan.
At first, it was no doubt that he was Jisoo’s competition. Apparently, Jeonghan actually grew up in a musical environment, Jisoo’s vocal trainer being Jeonghan’s dad’s best friend. Just his luck, Jisoo thought. Just when he thought he was starting to get the hang of performing on stage, which wasn’t much progress to be honest, he was going to be upstaged by this kid with long blond, beautiful hair.
His thought process changed when he actually got to know Jeonghan though.
Jeonghan’s talent was no joke. Whenever Jisoo had to use the bathroom, he passed by Jeonghan’s practice room and stopped for a few minutes to listen to his singing. He was truly amazing, a gifted musical prodigy with an astounding voice.
When Jisoo’s vocal trainer suggested that the two have a duet together, Jisoo got to experience the angelic voice up close and personal.
And watching Jeonghan sing was a religious experience, at least to Jisoo it was.
“Ah, I came off a bit sharp,” Jeonghan sighed as he wrote on his sheet music.
“What?” Jisoo asked in shock. “No, that was perfect!”
Jeonghan looked at Jisoo in disbelief but smiled, making Jisoo feel as nervous as he gets when onstage. “Thanks,” Jeonghan replied.
When Jeonghan started listening to Jisoo as he sung, Jisoo was surprised at his feedback.
“I really like your voice,” Jeonghan said, purely in awe. “It’s… sweet. Like chocolate,” he laughed.
Jisoo let out a chuckle as he felt his cheeks grow warmer at the other’s compliment. “Thanks…” and he looks down at the sheet music in hand and sighs as he keeps bending the top right corner. “I don’t really like it though.”
“Your voice?” Jeonghan gasped. “Why? It’s really nice! Heck, I’m a bit jealous.”
Jisoo’s head shot up with wide eyes. “Wait, really? But– I’m lacking so much.”
“Well, there’s always room for improvement,” Jeonghan explained as he rested his hand on Jisoo’s shoulder, making Jisoo blush more. “But I wouldn’t say you’re lacking. I can see why you’re the favourite in the department,” Jeonghan snickered.
–
After meeting up with each other almost everyday from that point on, the two grew close. It wasn’t long until Jisoo introduced Jeonghan to his group of friends that welcomed him with open arms.
“Your hair is so nice!” Mingyu complimented as he ran his fingers down Jeonghan’s golden strands, with permission of course.
“If you think that’s nice, you should hear him sing!” Jisoo added with a laugh. It was a subtle way of inviting his friends to hear their duet in two days. It was a bit short notice, but his friends always pulled through.
The day before the performance, that’s when Jisoo dropped the bomb.
“Stage fright?” Jeonghan repeated as Jisoo brought his head down quickly and gave him a shy nod. He expected the other to laugh, mocking him as the other students have in the past.
Jeonghan reached for Jisoo’s hand, shocking the shyer one as he lifted his head back up with a flustered expression.
“Have you ever sung with someone else on stage with you?”
Thinking back to his years in the department, no. This would be Jisoo’s first time with another under the spotlight.
“Maybe that’s why,” Jeonghan continued, still holding onto Jisoo’s hand. “In high school, we always went out with someone,” he explained.
Jisoo couldn’t help it but feel a little jealous, remembering that Jeonghan had the privilege of going to a music academy, something Jisoo’s always dreamt of.
“Singing with someone actually helps a lot. You feel less pressure, knowing someone’s with you, and you don’t feel as nervous in front of an audience.” Jeonghan squeezes Jisoo’s hand. “But the best thing is when you look at each other while singing.”
And he leans scoots closer to the other with a warm smile.
“Looking at someone else, seeing their facial expression, grooving and hearing yourself harmonizing with them,” he sighed as he leans back in his seat, “it just makes it– all the more worthwhile.”
The two sat there, in a rather comforting moment of silence before Jeonghan let go of Jisoo’s hand. Jisoo was beyond amazed. Their appreciation for the art was on the same wavelength. That’s when Jisoo realized that maybe Jeonghan was neither a rival nor a senior to him. They were on an equal playing field.
The silence was broken as soon as Jeonghan stood up and started organizing his papers on the stand. “So tomorrow on stage,” Jeonghan spoke as he put the sheets into his manila folder, “just look at me. Focus on me.”
“But what if–”
“Ah– don’t question it!” Jeonghan interrupted as he brushed his bangs to the side. “Just trust me on this, okay? That’s what partners are supposed to do, right?”
It took a moment, but Jisoo sighed as he began to stack his pages as well. “Alright. I trust you.”
–
And when him and Jeonghan were on deck, that’s all he could do.
He felt his body start to react as they were reminded of their time check. The sweating, the stomach churning, the heavy breathing, it was all coming back to Jisoo.
Jeonghan turned around to see Jisoo sitting on the floor, hands holding his cheeks as he was inhaling and exhaling profusely.
“Hey,” he gently whispered as he grabbed Jisoo’s hand. The other looked up with continuous heavy breaths. “I’m here. Just focus on me. Only look at me.”
It took a moment of holding each other’s hands and looking at each other as Jeonghan breathed in and out with Jisoo until Jisoo’s breathing stabilized.
The two walked on stage, Jisoo not letting go of the other’s hand, but Jeonghan didn’t seem to mind.
He squeeze it and looked at Jisoo as the music started. The first verse was his, and his execution was flawless. He looked at the audience and let the music take over his body.
As the chorus came up, that was Jisoo’s cue to chime in with second voice. Just as he was told, he only looked at Jeonghan. The other smiled, moving his head lower and higher as their pitches changed.
Jisoo boldly let go of Jeonghan’s hand, only to use it as if he were conducting the two of them. Jeonghan followed along, his hand in sync as they both looked at each other, releasing themselves and letting the flow run the show.
There was a moment where Jisoo felt numb, as if this was all a dream. Standing there, his heart racing, not because of his anxiety, but because the thrilling adrenaline he shared with Jeonghan.
Looking over, Jeonghan seemed to share the same feelings. Not only were their gestures and harmonisations in line with each other, but also their feelings.
Before Jisoo knew it, the song came to an end. Once the two lowered their microphones, Jisoo broke eye contact and turned, only to be shocked at how loudly the audience cheered them on. Jeonghan reached over and grabbed Jisoo’s hand as they bowed, making Jisoo’s face red once again, Jeonghan laughing at the realization.
“Hyung that was your best performance yet!” Seungkwan exclaimed, giving a bouquet to both him and Jeonghan.
Jisoo’s head turned to Jihoon, expecting to hear how he didn’t sing loud or clear enough, but to his surprise, nothing of the sort left the younger one’s mouth. “That was an impressive performance, hyung,” Jihoon smiled, also congratulating Jeonghan at a job well done.
The four took their routinely group shot as well, but included their newest friend with them in the shot.
“This is new,” Jeonghan whispered to Jisoo as he gazed at the bouquet in hand. “I’ve never experienced this before.”
“What? The flowers?”
“This,” Jeonghan sighed, “and the congratulations. Along with the friends.”
Jisoo looked up at his friends who were talking, Seungkwan making the other two laugh, before he looked back at Jeonghan. “Nervous?” He asked with a smile.
“A bit,” Jeonghan snickered.
He grabbed Jeonghan’s free hand and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t worry,” Jisoo whispered back. “Just look at me.”