Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 Hikari: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

 Tairitsu: What did you do?

 Hikari: Nobody died.

 Tairitsu: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

 Hikari: Nobody died! Oh all my efforts in this project..!

 Tairitsu: ..Please shut up about your Arcaea stuffs, Hikari.

—

 Kou: I was thinking I'd do some magic-

 Shirahime: You? Magic? Kou, it says talent show.

 Kou: It's my talent!

—

 Hikari: Look, Ilith-san. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve hurt anybody with a damn glass shard which looked like a sword in a play because they sucked ass. I’m not that one arsonist who burnt down a piano in the music club back in the first year of middle school. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. 

 Ilith: Okay, those were really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

 Hikari: No, I didn't do such things like that!

 Ilith: Can't bring myself to trust you, sorry not sorry.

—

 Eto: Luna, wanna play truth or dare?

 Luna: Oh, sure, sis!

 Eto: Okay, truth or dare?

 Luna: Truth

 Eto: How many hours have you slept this week?

 Luna:

 Luna: ...Dare

 Eto: Go to bed.

 Luna: I don’t like this game.

 Eto: Sleep, or I will call Lethe to make you.

—

 Ilith: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

 Luna: Ilith, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

 Ilith: That also means you are a dumbass.

 Saya: You both are dumbasses.

—

 Shirabe: We need to get through this locked door before the bell rings. Vita, give me your credit card.

 Vita: Here.. you go?

 Shirabe, pocketing it: Thanks. Ayu, eat the door, or use your skills, or whatsoever thing you have that can break it down.

 Ayu: Deal?

 Shirabe: 20$, take it or leave it.

 Ayu: Deal!

 Vita: What the heck- HEY GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!

—

 Cedric: What have you both done this time?

 Alice: In my defense, I was left unsupervised!

 Cedric: Wasn't Tai with you?

 Tairitsu: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

 Cedric: I still can't believe you two are my siblings. Why do I have to deal with two demons at once?

 Tairitsu: Unfortunately.

 Alice: Unfortunately.

—

 Hikari, setting down a card: Ace of spades!

 Lagrange, pulling out a seven of clubs: Penalty?

 Insight shakes her head, then gives Lagrange a card.

 Lagrange: ..Have a nice day, Tairitsu?

 Insight nods.

 Tairitsu, putting down a nine of diamonds: That's a badger!

 Maya, trembling: What are we playing

—

 Maya: Hikari-san, I'm sad.

 Hikari: *holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay, Maya.

 Insight: Hikari, I'm sad

 Hikari, nodding: Mood.

 Lagrange, laughing: Mood, indeed.

 Insight: Lagrange, is it true that Hikari is only cold toward me?

 Lagrange: If you didn't accidentally write weird things in Hikari's project, she would be friendlier toward you.

—

 Maya: Why is Hikari so sad?

 Tairitsu: She took one of those “Which RG Main Are You?” quizzes on the internet.

 Maya: And...?

 Tairitsu: She got Geopelia.

 Maya: Isn't that the pigeon girl's name from Literature class?

 Tairitsu: That's her.

 Hikari, sobbing in the background: Why couldn't I get myself? Am I that similar to that cuckoo???

 Tairitsu: *sighs* The smartest people are sometimes also the stupidest, indeed.

—

 Amane: Guys, tomorrow is Christmas and I have no idea on what activities can we all do. Anything on your mind?

 Nami: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it!

 Amane: Nami, no.

 Kanae: Mistlefoe.

 Amane: Please stop encouraging her.

 Nami: It's a fun idea. Both me and Kanae agreed with that, and you are just a boomer.

Chapter Text

 Geopelia: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

 Shirabe: I'd say yours if someone asked me that.

 Geopelia: Is this about me having a higher score than yours in the last exam again? Please, it's just 0.1, Shirabe.

 Shirabe: Yes.

—

 'Shapeshifter:' *'transforms' to look like Tenniel* 

 Tenniel: Okay, seriously? What's wrong with your power or even your eyes?! You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Second, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and ugly like that. Oh please, I look way MORE handsome than the thing you shapeshifted. However, if you could use a comb on that birdnest-a-like hair, you're like a four on a good day and I've been told I'm a perfect ten out of ten.

 Alice: What is wrong with you dude, that's a mirror.

 Cedric: I told you to ditch him already.

 Alice: A reminder for you, my brother, I don't date guys who have many resemblances to you.

—

 Hikari, to a mirror: What's the tip to beat Insi-san, you asked?

 Hikari: Well, I have no idea. But if you can’t beat her, then dress better than her.

 Fisica: Hikari, we wear uniforms. Also, what's up with you today? You've been talking to a mirror ever since you showed up here.

—

 Hikari: No matter what people say, you are still evil in my eyes.

 Lagrange: Is this about that again?

 Insight: If I'm really as evil as you say I am, dear Hikari, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.

*Lightning strikes Insight*

 Insight: Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!

 —

 Ritmo, trying to get Fisica out of the book: Fisica! Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

 Fisica, not looking up from her book: Myxine Circifrons.

 Ritmo:

 Ritmo: It's actually fsh

—

 Alice: So what’s for dinner tonight, Tai?

 Tairitsu, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

 Cedric: I must ban you from the kitchen from now on.

 Cedric: This is the third time this week and it's only Tuesday.

 Tairitsu: Haha

—

(Saya and Maya talk about their class' upcoming trip)

 Maya: I'm worried about the upcoming trip. It makes me nervous..

 Saya: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeves.

 Maya: You mean cards..?

 Saya, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

 Maya: Why do you have so many knives?

 Saya: In history, there are wars. In wars, there are weapons. In weapons, there are knives.

—

 Shirahime: How petty can you get?

 Luna: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I had with my sister, which I was wrong about.

 Shirahime: Relatable.

—

 Ayu: Kou, if I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, then doomed to starve to death?

 Kou: Why do you think that I know about these?

 Nami: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

 Kou: *sighs*

 Kou: You wouldn't be trapped.

 Kou: Can we change topic to plushies again?

—

 ( The trio is on call )

 Cedric: Bring home purified water with no minerals added for taste, we ran out of these.

 Alice: Hey, bro! We got spring water!

 Cedric: No.

 Tairitsu: With EXTRA minerals!

 Alice: It's like licking a stalagmite!!

 Cedric: Don't you dare come back with them.

 Tairitsu: Mmmmm cave water

—
 
 Geopelia, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what should I name him?

 Gino: You did WHAT– 

 Samuelle: William Snakepeare.

 Geopelia: Amazing name, that'll be your name from now on, mr. William Snakepeare!

—

 Kanae: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

 Amane: *turning to Nami* How tall are you?

 Nami: I thought you'd ask Kanae

 Amane: How tall are you both?

—

 Store worker: Welcome to the Climax of '18 store! What can I help you with?

 ...

 Store worker: Oh.. Alright, please wait for a moment.

 Store worker: Would a miss Lagrange come to the front desk, please?

 Lagrange, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

 Store worker: *points to Hikari and Tairitsu*

 Store worker: I believe they belong to you?

 Hikari and Tairitsu, simultaneously: We got lost :(

 Lagrange: How did you two even know that I work part-time here?!
 

Chapter Text

Ilot: You lying, cheating, and in the name of Lunatixxx, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SH—

Geopelia: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Ilot: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING HIKARI WITH ME.

Hikari: Don't drag me in you two's stupid argument!

Fisica, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Trin: So this is the reason why the SC room is always locked before the first period starts.

Geopelia: It's not my fault at all!

Fisica: Geopelia, you ARE the one who brought the board here.

—

Cedric: Alice, what's up with you these days? You don't seem to be focused on your stuffs like before.

.
 Alice: Um.. Well, I kind of.. took an interest on someone's style of writings. I'm trying to ask him, but it'd be very awkward.

Cedric: Whose?

Alice: I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it.

Cedric: Just rip the bandage off.

Alice: Tenniel's.

Cedric: Put the bandage back on.

—

Vita: Guys, what does 'take out' mean?

Ayu: Food!

Nami: Dating, probably so.

Amane: Murder sounds better somehow

Ilith: If you aren't a coward, ALL OF THEM.

Vita: I was asking if I could use that word in my essay. Now I guess it'd be better to ask Shirabe instead.

—

Tairitsu: What are good responses for being stabbed with a sword?

Shirahime: Rude.

Luna: That’s fair.

Hikari: Not again.

Mir: Are you going to want this back?

Luna: Why do you want to know anyway, Tai?

Tairitsu: For the upcoming play, I need them so I can express my emotions better when it comes.

Hikari: Maybe I should do it faster so that you won't be able to react at all.

Tairitsu: Stop, Hikari.

Hikari: No!

Mir: This is definitely spoiling the plot.

—

Kalpa: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Yomiga: Have everyone stand.

Ilot: Bring three more chairs so everyone can have their seats!

Fisica: The most important ones can sit down.

Geopelia: Kill three!

Yomiga: I actually think that's a better method

Kalpa: Don't encourage her, please.

—

Maya: Nothing in life is free, really..

Ilot: Adventure is free, y'know!

Fisica: Knowledge is free.

Hikari: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Geopelia: Fyi, Phigros is entirely free!

Ilot: This isn't turning to a game commercial again, Geo.

Geopelia: Haha, it was a good opportunity to do so

—

Kanae: If you wanted to know that bad, poison is actually a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Saya: Did you know? This knife is actually a magic wand.

Shirahime: Meet me in the Aegle’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Tenniel: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Kou: What the actual hell is wrong with you people today.

—

Igallta: Are you sure this is the right direction, dove?

Geopelia: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Mill: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Geopelia: Are we?

Gino: I'm starting to regret this decision of coming here.

Dlyro: It's not that bad, at least we are in a forest and not a desert.