Archive of Our Own ^beta

He wasn’t a grinch. Christmas was obviously just the worst holiday; you were expected to spend money on everyone, you were expected to spend copious amounts of time with your family, and everyone and their mothers consistently sang choir tunes. It was an awful time of year, really.

He hated Christmas absolutely ten thousand times more than he hated Valentine’s Day (which he loathed entirely). Draco’s mother had decorated the living room with a massive Christmas tree this year and the lights illuminated the whole room and really only gave him the worst headache of all time.

But he certainly wasn’t a grinch.  

Hermione Granger had called him a grinch earlier that day.

Draco stared at the blinding tree that sat in the corner of the Manor living room. Narcissa and Lucius had long gone to bed and Draco had remained still in his spot. He had a glass of whisky between his fingers that he was sipping at slowly, reminiscing on the earlier moments of his day.

Granger was being rather…irrational. 

“Move the little reindeer over there. No, not there, you moron! Did that honestly look good to you? Really?” Her voice was more like a screech and Draco was moments from losing his mind,

He huffed, “Then you position the bloody reindeer, Granger.” He spat, handing the light up decor over to her. “If it’s so very important where the stupid thing goes.”

”It is,” she insisted, eyes glaring as she took the reindeer close to her chest. “Where’s your Christmas spirit, Mr. Grinch?” 

“Christmas is foolish.” He replied back, a snarl on his lips. His eyes scanned the decorated space that was closing in on time to house the office Christmas party. Draco had unfortunately been paired with Granger for decor duty.

He hated decor and he hated Christmas. The day was quickly becoming one of the worst Christmas Eves ever.

It was nearing one a.m. and Draco really ought to be heading off to his room for the night. However he stayed still, only moving his arm to take another sip of whiskey. His eyes remained lazily focused on the Christmas tree.

A clunk sound from somewhere above and Draco’s eyes shot up, curious. The Manor was silent 99% of the time. Noise was…unheard of. He waited for more raucous with raised brow in concentration.

Clunk Clunk Clunk

Draco’s eyes widened as he realized the noise was coming from his fireplace. He straightened, his entire focus now on the fireplace and the noise. Perhaps it was bats, was it bat season? Are bats seasonal? 

Every thought ran through Draco’s head in the same moments that he rose from the couch, grabbing his wand instinctively. It was silent again and Draco waited with his wand up, brows furrowed. 

Seconds passed with nothing. No intruders, no bats, no noise. Draco’s wand lowered slightly, loosening his grip around the handle. 

Clunk Clunk Plop

Draco’s mouth fell open and he paused completely. His hand tightened around his wand and he regained a complete dual stance. “Who are you?” He asked.

There, in the Malfoy Manor fireplace, sat an unmoving imposter that was dressed from head to toe as Santa Clause. Draco stared in awe, or horror, or shock - whatever it was that he felt, he was frozen in it. He had no idea what to do and the man in his fireplace did not move.

Draco stepped forward slowly, his wand pointed directly at 'Santa'. “Hey!” Draco said in a voice just over a whisper. “You there!”

But there was no answer and Draco watched, dismayed, as the imposter remained still. Draco huffed, taking a desperate look around the room but found that he was still the only person witnessing this.

There was a man dressed as Santa Clause in his fireplace. Sure. Okay. He was absolutely going insane. Draco lowered his wand ever so slightly as he took the smallest step closer. “Are you…okay down there?” He asked, peering down at the intruder’s face. 

He was…not okay. “Shit,” Draco cursed as he realized and kneeled down, reaching out for the Santa imposter. He shook the man’s rather large shoulder, “Hey, mate!” 

No answer. Draco huffed out an incredulous laugh. Had he fallen asleep? Was he dreaming? He let go of the fake Santa’s velvet jacket and moved his hand to elegantly and respectfully slap his (jolly) red cheeks. “Santa!” Draco hissed.

He didn’t even stir. What was going on? Draco rolled his eyes at the entire inconvenience of it all, thinking about how he really should have just gone to bed when his parents had.

Something sparkled in Draco’s vision and he looked over. On the other side of fake Santa, a silver glittering card laid on the ground. Eyeing it, Draco recoiled his hand from Santa’s face and leaned over his unmoving body.

‘If something should happen to me…’

Draco’s eyes widened at the words that he could make out and he hastily reached for the card, sitting back onto his bottom next to the unconscious Santa. He pulled the card closer to his face, squinting to read the smaller print.

‘Put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do.’

Draco scoffed, flicking the card onto fake Santa’s round belly. “Funny,” he mumbled as he turned, rising to his knees again. He reached out, taking Santa’s face in his hands. “Wake up, Santa. The joke is over, you can get up now,” he insisted, lolling the intruder’s face from side to side. 

He hissed a curse as Santa remained still. “This is ridiculous.” He said to no one but himself. “I couldn’t even wear your suit if I tried, old man. You are at least three times the size of me, unfortunately.” 

Draco sneered at the unconscious man. He seriously debated on just running off to his room and pretending he’d never seen anything, then let Lucius deal with this mess in the morning. 

He stood up, eyes hard on the fake Santa as he rose. “I hope you were at least almost done before you decided to go unconscious in my fireplace.” He mumbled, lip curling in annoyance. 

Turning his back to Santa, Draco spun on his feels and began towards the hall. Almost instantly he paused, remembering the note. This fake Santa had…  reindeer here? And they’re just loose on the premises? Well, that’s just won’t do.

Draco turned back around, mouth open and finger up to firmly tell Santa to wake up and take your bloody reindeer home but he stopped in his tracks as soon as he realized that Santa was gone. 

Well, rather Santa’s body was gone. Left behind was a pile of his clothes and the boots tossed messily to the floor as if he’d just…vanished. Draco sputtered, dropped his hand and looked around.

Santa was nowhere to be seen. Draco sighed heavily, realizing that he had to now deal with loose reindeer and an unclothed Santa Clause on his property. He absolutely should’ve just gone to bed when he had the chance!

He huffed a frustrated noise as he began back towards the remaining clothes. He was stiff as he reached out, grabbing the large jacket and pants. He then bent to pick up each boot, “Damned Santa Clause.” Draco muttered as he held the clothing tight to his body and rushed off towards the front doors.

He jogged outside of his manor and looked up towards the roof as he walked further and further. He saw…nothing, and he was surely being quite delusional, anyhow. It could still all be a dream, he supposed. He rather hoped it was, really.

Draco wondered if he was looking as desperate as felt as he peered towards the rooftops. It was chillingly dark outside and he could see almost nothing. Until his eye caught something glinting in the moonlight and he gasped as, shockingly, a ladder appeared near the dining hall window. 

His mouth tightened. No one at the manor even owned a ladder, Draco thought suspiciously as he decided to slowly step towards it. This was getting seriously out of hand and Draco wished he could just go to bed already and forget everything about this night- especially the fact that he’d somehow lost an entire naked intruder on his family's property. 

But instead he looked up the ladder, shifting his eyes in thought. There’s no reason he should go up there, right? He should just drop the clothes here, go to bed, and let his father pick up all the pieces in the morning.

The stupid Santa-shaped pieces. The pieces that were most certainly not Draco’s damn responsibility. He was moments from dropping all of Santa’s clothes there at the foot of the ladder - but then he heard a whinny from the roof and stilled completely.

The reindeer.

He looked up again with disdain. There were reindeer on his roof. And Stupid Santa was M.I.A. And Draco really, really should’ve just gone to bed.

This was absolutely the worst Christmas Eve ever. One day he’d tell his offspring about the time he hallucinated Santa disappearing unconsciously in his fireplace, leaving behind a bloody herd of reindeer and all of his clothes! 

Draco huffed, then tucked the suit and boots tightly under his arm, climbing angrily up the ladder. He had absolutely no plan here... Santa was somewhere, obviously, and Draco needed to find him. He also needed to somehow deal with a group of animals he’d never even encountered before - let alone, thought existed. 

His eyes reached over the rooftop and he stopped in his tracks the moment he saw them. A herd of nine reindeer were rambunctiously bucking and hopping around. Draco gasped silently and ducked. He clung to the ladder, completely frozen in disbelief. Had he taken any drugs earlier today? Had Granger possibly drugged him at the office party? Had he somehow slipped into a weird state of sleep where everything felt a bit too real, and a lot too weird?

He found himself climbing onto the roof with his mouth parted in surprise. He stumbled forward and his feet crunched the snow, crackling under his house shoes.The romping reindeer all stopped at the noise, turning to watch him. Draco stopped, hands up in surrender as best he could with Santa’s entire outfit in his arms.

“Woah- hey,” he cleared his throat. ”Your owner…the big guy in the Santa costume-“ Was Draco honestly talking to reindeer right now? Surely his mind was as gone as the naked fake Santa. “He ran away…without his clothes.” 

The reindeer, obviously, looked blankly at him and he couldn't help but scoff at himself. Draco muttered under his breath with a shake of his head, “Great, Draco, talking to a herd of reindeer. Everyone will surely believe that one.”

One of the reindeer whinnied again and Draco stumbled backwards, catching himself before he all but fell off of the roof of the Malfoy Manor. He was most certainly hallucinating at this point. He was absolutely going bonkers, he knew it for a fact.

Draco looked down at the jumble of red velvet in his hands and sighed heavily, heart beating fast in his chest. Looking back up at the reindeer, he took a slow step forward with his hands still up in surrender to them. “I am approaching now, reindeer.” He informed them in his best I won't hurt you, please don't hurt me voice. “Please, I just want to return the jolly fellow’s clothes.”

The reindeer stood watching him silently and Draco took a soft step forward. He wasn’t scared - but if you considered the fact that there were wild animals on his roof... he considered that it would be quite acceptable if he was. “I regret to inform you that I don’t quite know where he ran off to.” Draco said as he approached even further. “I thought he’d been knocked out. Or dead, I suppose.”

A quick fleeting wonder of why he was even saying anything at all ran through his head as he finally arrived next to the sleigh attached to the reindeer. Draco’s eyebrow rose as he peered over the side, taking in the spacious ride complete with velvet seats and cup holders. 

Draco lifted the clothes and pushed them over the side, letting them fall onto the floorboards. “There,” he mumbled as they dropped, signing as he leaned back, his eyes taking in the full sleigh again. Draco peered unbelievingly at the reindeer, then around his estate. He’d never been on the roof before and he thought for a moment that the view was quite nice up here.

He jolted when one of the reindeer whinnied yet again, catching his attention. He stared towards the one in front who was peering back at him. “Rudolph, is it?” He asked with a sneer, taking another careful step closer. He crossed his arms to perhaps show dominance, as if his hands weren’t trembling whatsoever.

To Draco’s surprise, the reindeer nodded. Draco stilled, mouth dropping open in shock. “Did you just nod at me?” He asked in disbelief.

Again, the reindeer nodded and Draco let out an incredulous laugh. “You’re kidding me. I really need some sleep.” He concluded, smashing the heels of his palms into his eyes to hopefully force himself awake out of this nightmare. But he pulled his hands away to see all nine reindeer looking at him. “You’re all acting as if I shouldn’t be surprised that you understand me.”

Joyous whinnies sounded across the herd and Draco furrowed his eyebrows. We're they laughing at him? This was absolutely, undoubtedly the weirdest Christmas Eve he’d ever had.

Then, Rudolph moved his head in such a way that Draco felt that the reindeer was telling him to get in. 

He snickered, “Right. Like I’d just get in some random sleigh that landed on my roof. I should go find that naked-“

Rudolph whinnied, interrupting Draco. He curled his lip in annoyance at the reindeer. He could not be arguing with a reindeer right now. 

“You’re just…unbothered, then? That your weird faux Santa man is off lollygagging about my manor unclothed?” Draco huffed, his words coated in inconvenience. “Surely, this isn’t your normal protocol.” 

He was scolding the reindeer? Merlin, what was wrong with him?

The reindeer group simply blinked at him in silence and he was very near to  hurdling himself off of the damn roof. He decided at that very moment that he’d simply never tell anyone that he’d yelled at a reindeer - ever.

He took an awkward step back and peered into the sleigh once more. The pile of clothes laid askew on the floor and there was an empty bag in the back compartment. “Sack of toys?” Draco said jokingly, but then he leaned into the sleigh and opened the bag. He was curious... and it’s not like the fake Santa had put a lock on it. 

Past the hem, Draco could see nothing, it was dark and empty at first glance, but then he decided to reach forward. His hand entered the seemingly bottomless pit, searching around for anything at all. He stopped when his fingers grazed a wrapped box. He furrowed his eyebrows and jumped forward on his toes, grabbing the box in full before pulling it out. In the top right hand corner, Draco’s full name was written in a neat black cursive and his face dropped.

His eyes glanced at the reindeer who were all watching him like he was their bloody master. Draco sneered at them, then ripped open the candy cane pattern wrapped present. His hands stopped as soon as the name of the action figure was revealed, Magic Merlin scrawled in just the right magical font across the bottom of the box. 

Draco’s fingers stalled before they slowly tore the rest of the paper off, dropping the rubbish onto the roof carelessly as he surveyed the boxed toy in his hand with wide eyes. It was the only toy he’d never asked for, but had always wanted. Lucius had always deemed action figures as girly and muggle-like, but Draco had always wanted a Magic Merlin. 

He gulped, a tiny small gulp as he looked around in the dark. This was some stupid practical joke- he was sure of it now. This fake Santa was probably some little twerp aiming to make a fool of Draco Malfoy. It was a sick joke and Draco turned red in the face, feeling the warmth of anger begin creeping up his body.

But Rudolph whinnied again and Draco sniffed angrily as he looked at the reindeer. “What is this? ” He insisted with a venomous voice. “Who do you work for?”

“Santa, obviously.”  

Draco jumped for the millionth time that night and he clutched his arms around his toy, holding it close to his chest as he looked at the elf sitting in the was-once-empty sleigh. It wasn’t a house elf, or any other elf he’d ever seen before. It was a…child. A child with pointy, long ears and glittery cheeks. Draco’s eyes stayed wide on her, watching her with hesitation.

“I’m Trixie, one of Santa’s workshop elves.” She stuck out her tiny hand and Draco eyed it wearily. “I understand that something happened to Santa?”

“Yes,” Draco nodded, clearing his throat. He gingerly stuck his own hand out, grabbing onto her smaller one with the lightest amount of pressure. “He…well, I’m not too sure what actually happened. But he’s naked- somewhere.”

She giggled and Draco’s eyebrows furrowed because this just wasn’t a laughing matter. Her shoulders jumped giddily with her laughter and Draco looked down at the toy in his hands. “How did he know I wanted this?” He suddenly asked.

“He knows everything, silly.” Trixie assured him in her tiny, sweet voice and Draco scoffed.

“I’m not silly.” He paused, feeling himself become annoyed at the childish nature of it, while still muttering back out a harsh, “You’re silly.” But it did feel quite silly calling a child silly, and he had yelled at reindeer earlier… but Draco certainly wasn’t silly. 

“You can argue with magical beings all you want, sir.” Trixie informed him with a smile and Draco felt his face grow red hot again. 

“I’m a magical being, too, you know?” Draco asked with a glare of his eyes. “I’ve got a wand and everything-“

“I know you are. You’re the new Santa. And all Santa’s are-“

“New Santa? ” Draco asked with a loud boisterous laugh. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not kidding you, sir.” Trixie told him seriously. She stood up on the sleigh bench cushion, now eye to eye with Draco. He stared back, unrelenting. “Old Santa disappeared, right?”

“Yes, but-“

“And you read the note, right?”

Draco glared harder, “Yes, but-“

“And the reindeer can understand you, right?”

“Blood hell,” Draco shook his head, stepping backwards. He hid the toy box behind his back, eyeing her suspiciously. “I’m obviously not Santa, kid.”

“Not yet. You have quite a bit of training to do but you will be.” She said, putting her hands on her hips. “And I’m not a kid. If anything, you’re the kid.”

“I’m twenty seven,” Draco snarled.

She smirked cunningly and Draco felt his hands tighten around the box behind him, “I’m two thousand and six”

Draco blanched and looked at her. She’s… how old? That seemed impossible. He scoffed, shaking his head again. “I’ve got to go to bed, none of this is real.” But then he looked at her, awkwardly. “I will be taking this, as well.” He showcased his toy once more before he turned on his heels and started back towards the ladder.

The ladder…which was no longer there. Fuck. Draco turned around, losing every ounce of patience he had left. 

“Where is the ladder?” He asked with an obvious, thick annoyance in his voice. This was getting out of control. He was not Santa Clause - that sounded hilariously stupid, in fact. “Little elf, I swear to all that is magical - where is the damned ladder?”

“It’s gone, sir.” She replied nonchalantly, quite opposite of Draco’s near hysteria. “It’s getting late, you know? There’s still thousands of kids without presents.”

“That’s not my job.” Draco snarled, looking around desperately for any other way out. He needed out. Before he could get roped into any certain Christmas early morning activities. 

Trixie jumped out of the sleigh with impressive, practiced ease and she neared Draco who stood panicked and still. His head moved downwards as her tiny body neared him, “It is your job. You’re the new Santa.” She reminded him once more before she stuck out her hand, palm up for him. “Come on, I’ll help this first time.” 

“First time doing what?” He snarled, keeping his hands safely hidden with his present behind his back. Draco eyed her outstretched hand as it waited patiently for him to give in. Which would never happen... Ever.

“First time delivering presents, of course.” She said nicely, where Draco would’ve expected an eye roll from anyone else. Trixie smiled kindly up to him and Draco pursed his lips.

“Why me?” He asked, definitely not believing her. He was just…curious.

“Why not you, sir?” She asked with a shrug as her hand still sat outstretched, patiently waiting for him. Draco eyed it again, blinking twice slowly at the tiny palm.

“I’m Draco Malfoy. Not Santa Clause.” He insisted while shaking his head, looking back up to her face. She didn't falter at all, her consistent smile began to irk Draco entirely. “Obviously.”

“Old Santa is gone and someone must step up. You were obviously chosen, Draco Malfoy.” Trixie told him with a sparkle of magic in her eye. Draco swallowed a laugh that would have been loud and in her face as she continued, “Please, put on the suit.”

“Even if I did put on the suit- it wouldn’t fit me.” He told her seriously, learning forward slightly to be closer to her face. “I’d be the worst Santa Clause you’ve ever seen.”

“Well, actually the Santa Clause from two hundred years ago was quite an asshole-“

“You can’t say asshole,” Draco countered, shaking his head as he straightened back up, tall and defiant.

She huffed, finally dropping her hand in a realization that Draco would not be taking it any time soon. “Do you want the children to go presentless this year or what?” 

Draco stared her down, taking note of the festive green outfit she had on. Her blonde hair was in long pigtails, flowing down her chest. There was no way this child was over two thousand years old, no way in hell. “You’re telling me that if I don’t get in that sleigh over there,” he tilted his head towards the giant red monstrosity on his roof, “Then the children will go without presents?”

“Yes, sir. That is what I’m telling you.” She reached out again, taking a firm grasp of Draco’s pointing finger. “Come on, we have only a few hours of nighttime left.” 

Draco found himself being unwillingly pulled forward after her. For the tiny amount of body, she had a massive amount of strength and gripped Draco’s finger hard enough that he hissed in surprise.

Trixie dragged him right back to the sleigh and stopped while next to it. “In you go, Santa.”

“Don’t call me Santa, kid.” Draco snarled as he took a hold of the sleigh and bent his knees. He grunted as he hoisted himself in, falling into the seat with a sigh. He then watched as the elf climbed her way in effortlessly, taking a spot next to Draco on the seat.

“Don’t call me kid, Santa.” 

They both stared at each other stubbornly and Draco squinted ever so softly. He was not about to be bested by a child in pigtails. And face glitter. He curled his upper lip, “Don’t call me Santa and I won’t call you kid.”

“Deal.” She replied instantly, her eyes shooting daggers into his right before she smiled widely, instantly replacing her scowl. “Put the suit on please.”

“Must I really?” Draco asked, agitated, as he leaned back into the seat. “I can deliver presents in my pajamas just fine.” He insisted, gesturing down to his outfit. 

Trixie gave his night clothes a look of disgust before she glanced back up with a smirk. “Absolutely not, Mr. Malfoy. The suit.”

“I did not sign up for this.” Draco scoffed as he reached out with haste, grabbing the crumpled suit. He rose out of his seated position as he showcased the massive pants. “Far too large, you see? It will never work. I shall stay in my-“

“Put the suit on,” Trixie repeated, exasperatedly annoyed. “Trust me.”

Draco stared at her for a moment before he rolled his eyes. “Why should I trust you? For all I know, you could’ve killed the old Santa.”

She gasped, eyes wide at him. “I would never.” Trixie huffed and crossed her arms, looking out of the sleigh. “Just put the suit on, please."

He hesitated while watching her and Draco could’ve sworn there was a crack in her voice - he would honestly probably never forgive himself if he had somehow made a Christmas elf cry, so Draco grumbled incoherently as he bent over, shoving his feet through the pant legs of Santa’s suit. He pulled them on and gave Trixie a look while he smacked the suspenders to his shoulders, hoisting the pants up. 

Draco reached down to pick up the suit jacket, finally covering his body with it as he pulled his arms through. He felt like he was drowning in velvet. It was…warm, he realized. Very warm.

He looked back at Trixie but the elf continued to pout away from him. “I’m sorry," he said as he made one last grab at the boots. He put one foot in after the other. “I put the suit on. There. Are you happy?”

Trixie the Christmas elf finally looked at him, tears streaked on her face and Draco felt awful. He slumped his shoulders forward and felt a kind of low, deep shame for snapping at her.

“The outfit fits just fine, sir.” She told him through a sad voice and Draco looked down, realizing that the massive, drowning suit had shrunk and now fit him as just as it would if it were tailored to him.

“I suppose that it does.” He replied with the tiniest amount of shock in his voice. “I’m- sorry I argued about that, as well.” He admitted and looked back up to Trixie. 

Her eyes sparkled again with magic and she suddenly reached out to grab the reins of the sleigh. “Rudolph, go!” And Draco had zero seconds to prepare for takeoff as he suddenly was puller backwards as the reindeer started forward, hooves crunching in the snow on the roof.

Draco fell back into the seat, nearly crushing his boxed figure of Magic Merlin. He cursed, moving the box over to avoid any casualties and looked, frightened, out at the entire situation.

He watched as the reindeer galloped in front, slowly leaving the snowy surface and began to take flight. One by one, the reindeer took off and then the next thing Draco knew, the sleigh was leaving the safety of all underneath support. 

Draco and the sleigh were now flying, too. Trixie guided the reindeer as if she’d done it a thousand times and one of Draco’s hands gripped the railing of the sleigh while the other gripped at his seat. “I’m dreaming,” Draco mumbled to himself.

“You’re not.” Trixie told him as they turned up, straight into the sky. “Next destination- 309 Oakstreet, young boy that loves dinosaurs and maths.”

“Dinosaurs and maths?” Draco asked, scoffing out of the side of his mouth. “What kind of kid likes maths?” 

“An intelligent one.” Trixie replied, shrugging. “His presents are in the bag ready for you. All you have to do is shimmy down the chimney.”

“Shimmy down the chimney?” Draco scoffed again. “How in Merlin’s name do you expect me to do that?” That was…completely bonkers. He was going to get killed (or arrested) tonight, surely. 

“It’ll come naturally. I promise,” she insisted, whipping the leash once more and the reindeer took a sudden downturn, shooting full speed towards a house that Draco could of sworn he’d been to before. 

His heartbeat quickened as the reindeer pummeled down, seemingly at an increasing pace. Just in the nick of time, he heaved out a sigh of relief as the reindeer suddenly turned up, steadying themselves to make a soft landing on the roof. 

“Okay, Santa-“

Draco was seconds away from losing it on the tiny elf, but she interrupted herself, correcting with a blush under her glittered cheeks.

“Sir, I mean.” She stood up, pointing over towards the tall brick chimney. “There’s your entrance. Just climb up and shimmy.”

“Easy for you to say, Tina.” He snarled and she turned to him with the same darty glare from earlier. 

“It’s Trixie.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand easily, forgetting her name already, yet again. He leaned over the back of the seat to find the bottomless bag and grabbed it. It seemed to weigh absolutely nothing while still looking as if it held an entire street’s worth of presents. Draco eyed the elf once more. “Will this fit in there, too?”

“Obviously.” She replied with a sarcastic smirk.

He grunted, rolling his eyes as he threw the bag recklessly over his shoulder. “Fine. I’ll be right back.” He climbed past her to jump out of the sleigh. He paused, glancing back at her. She watched him patiently and he muttered, “But I’m not Santa Clause."

“You look like Santa Clause.” She countered, crossing her arms. 

Draco glared once more, “Shut up, little elf.” Before he jumped out of the sleigh and began walking on someone’s roof. This was someone's house and he was just about to…climb inside. What if he got arrested tonight? No one in Azkaban would believe that he’d been recruited to finish Santa Clause’s job- he’d simply be labeled a criminal.

He passed the herd of reindeer who huffed and looked his way, watching as Draco steadied himself towards the chimney. He watched the reindeer right back, eyeing each of their reins that had jingle bells down each rope. Then, he noticed Rudolph in the front looking forward as his nose glowed a bright fluorescent red.

Suddenly he was before the chimney and stopped, finally tearing his eyes away from the actual real reindeer. The chimney was as tall as Draco and he didn’t even know how he was supposed to get up there whatsoever. He scoffed, rolling his eyes before he turned around, ready to inform the elf just how wrong she had been.

But then Draco was floating. His eyes widened as he looked up, the bag of presents lifting him off of the roof and pulling him high into the night sky. Draco sputtered, kicking his feet, “Tina! Get me down from here.” He exclaimed, looking helplessly over to the tiny elf. 

She gave him a thumbs up from her safe spot in the sleigh and Draco wanted to snarl and scold her for not helping him, but he was suddenly being placed right above the chimney by the floating bag. Draco looked down in horror, holding only the bag strings as tightly as possible while he stared into the darkness of the chimney. “Bloody he-“

He dropped and bit his tongue at the same time, groaning as he watched the bricks of the chimney pass quickly as he fell down the shaft. Draco landed on the floor of the chimney with an oof, damaging his knees on rough logs of wood. He cursed outwardly and then the bag followed his path, landing on top of his back and squished him even further into the soot covered ground. He stayed still for a few moments, wondering just where in his life he’d gone so wrong that he was now currently crushed by dinosaur and maths toys in someone’s bloody chimney dressed as an on-clearance Santa Clause?

“Malfoy?” 

Draco startled and pushed himself up, throwing Santa’s bag to the ground as he looked at the person in front of him. Hermione fucking Granger was sitting on the floor, obviously in the middle of wrapping presents, looking at Draco with the most shock he’d ever seen her wear on ber face. He cleared his throat, a blush beginning to form unwarranted on his cheeks.

“Yes,” he said as he lifted himself to his feet and crawled out from the chimney. It was…ungraceful. Tragically so. His blush deepened but he ignored it, pulling the present bag with him. “Of course it is your son that likes maths.” He concluded, hiding an eye roll as he ripped the bag open.

“What?” She laughed in a very unbelieving way. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing climbing down my chimney on Christmas Eve?” She asked as Draco dug around in the bag, shoulder deep, before he finally grabbed onto a box. He pulled it out, showcasing it to her.

“Delivering presents.” He told her as if it were obvious and she eyed the wrapped present in his hand. “For Ben.” He specified. 

“You got a present for Ben?” She asked in the tiniest voice, standing up from the ground. Draco noticed right then how short her pajama bottoms were and his eyes flickered up from them hastily. 

“No-“ he forced out, rushed, to make sure there was absolutely no miscommunication here. This situation was awkward enough as it was, he had decided. “They’re from Santa.”

Granger hid her mouth under her hand and nodded, “Okay,” her voice was filled with a glorious laughter but Draco was far too concerned about getting this over with to be distracted by her delighted giggles. “Where might Santa be, then?”

“Naked, somewhere at the manor.” Draco told her seriously, finally setting the present on the floor (since she wasn’t helping him out whatsoever.) He then dug right back into the bag for any others as Granger laughed out loud this time. 

“Merlin, Malfoy, have you just about lost your mind?” She asked, stepping closer. Draco preferred she didn’t do that, because now her bare legs were in his peripherals and he had an importsnt job to do. “What are you talking about?”

He found and pulled out another present, handing it over to her. She reached out, eyebrows furrowed, but took it nonetheless. “No more questions, Granger, I have no time. The kids will go without presents if I don’t keep this moving along, I fear.” 

“What?” She asked incredulously once again, her laugh bubbling out. Draco quite hated it, and he quite hated her legs, too. He dug right back into the bag, dipping forward to really reach in there. “Did you buy presents for more kids than just mine?” She asked in disbelief. 

“I didn’t buy Ben anything.” He sighed heavily as he stuck his other hand in to help bring out the biggest present yet. Draco grunted as he dropped it onto the floor, eyeing the dinosaur wrapping paper. “He must’ve been a great kid this year.” 

“Draco-“ Granger used his first name, which she only used when he was crossing lines - or being a little to bitchy. “This is…insane.”

“I’m aware of the insanity, Granger, I had the same thoughts earlier.” He looked back into the bag, squinting to see into the endless darkness before he finally spotted one last shimmering present. He reached in, grabbing the tiny box tightly before bringing it out. 

His finger brushed against the silky ribbon and he saw ‘Hermione Granger’ scribbled neatly across the wrapping. His brow rose, glancing over to her. She was watching him with wide, borderline terrified eyes. To be fair, Draco would be wearing the same look if the roles were switched, he thought. 

Delicately, he handed the small present over to her and she eyed it. “Merry Christmas,” he told her. “From Santa, of course.” 

Granger looked back up to his eyes and shook her head. “Did you honestly get me a present? I didn’t get you anything - but I can if you-“ 

“Haven’t you been listening to me?” Draco asked, exasperated, as he dropped his head backwards. “I’m filling in for Santa. Because he’s naked and missing and there are currently reindeer on your roof, Granger.” 

Her mouth parted, possibly ready to tell him to fuck off - but then a tiny voice from somewhere else.

“There’s reindeer on our roof?” 

The child’s voice sounded from the doorway of the living room and both Draco and Granger looked up, eyes wide at the small boy watching them. “Benjamin!” Granger gasped, “Why are you not asleep right now?”

“Because I heard something on the roof. Is it really reindeer, Mr. Santa?” He asked with wide, curious eyes while he took a large step closer to them.

“I’m not Santa,” Draco corrected quickly and Granger reached out, slapping his abdomen. He grunted, flinching before he continued in a strained voice. “Santa is sick. Too many cookies. I’m just…filling in.”

“I didn’t know Santa could get sick,” The boy contemplated, eyeing Draco wearily. He took a good, long look over the velvet and fur suit before he noticed the group of presents left around the duo. His gaze then turned to absolute joy as he reached out, dropping to his knees to grab the largest one, “Mum! The fake Santa brought presents!”

Great, Draco thought in disdain, now he was the bloody fake Santa. Draco gave an unsure glance to Granger who was watching her son with soft eyes. She looked back to the unopened present in her hands, holding it as lightly as she could, from what Draco could tell. “You can open it,” Draco told her, however Ben took the suggestion personally and jumped to action, ripping the dino paper immediately.

Granger stalled, her attention turning towards Ben instead. Her fingers tightened, bringing the present near her chest as she watched her son. Ben let out an excited laugh, and Draco turned to witness the massive dinosaur figurine. The large box announced in big bold letting that the dino could 'roar, stomp, and chomp!'

Draco felt his lips tug up into a smile as he watched the boy jump with excitement, turning to give the largest grin to his mum. Granger watched with adoration, smiling as she reaffirmed to him just how awesome of a present that is. “What do you tell Mal-“ she paused, glancing over to him and his Santa costume. “Santa’s helper?”

Draco refrained from grimacing and throwing up in his mouth. He swallowed his disgust and tightly smiled at the young boy. “Thank you!” Ben expressed and then paused, contemplating something for only a moment before asking, “Will you show me the reindeer, sir?” 

“Benjamin-“ Hermione scolded, reaching out to pull the boy close to her. “He’s got more presents to deliver. We can’t keep him long-“

“He can see the reindeer. If he wants to.” Draco countered, shrugging. Granger sent him deadly glares, her eyes essentially shooting poisonous darts at Draco.

“Reindeer are on the roof, and the roof is not safe, Santa.” Granger told him seriously. “Maybe next time-“

“There won’t be a next time,” Ben pleaded, turning to look up at his mother. “When have you ever seen Santa? ”

“I’m not Santa,” Draco chimed in because they both had referred to him as that - but neither listened to him and he remained simply, a background noise. 

Granger shook her head, “Well-“ she had no true comeback to that and Draco smirked down at Ben. The kid was good. “How do we know if the reindeer are safe? Maybe they have some kind of reindeer diseases or…or rabies!” She asked, sounding awfully strained and stressed.

Draco refrained from rolling his eyes at the entire Grangerness of it all and Ben argued right back, “Then Santa would have rabies.” 

“I’m not Santa-“ 

“And he’s just fine, mum! Look!” 

Both of the Grangers looked at Draco dressed to the nines in his form fitting Santa costume. He looked right back at them, shifting on his feet,  pausing under the spotlight and waited for either of them to say anything but they didn’t. So Draco cleared his throat, “The reindeer are safe, Granger. I promise.”

Granger looked like she could kill him in that instant but Ben pulled from her grasp, running towards Draco. “Please let me see the them, Santa!”

Draco looked from the young boy to Granger who stood, nervously twisting her small present in her hands before she looked down at it. “Fine,” she sighed out in the smallest voice. “But I’m coming up there, too.”

“Please,” Draco gestured towards the chimney. “Be my guests, Granger family.” He grabbed the now empty bag off of the floor and stalked towards his exit. He held the drawstring out to Ben, “Here, grab this. Granger, you too.” He instructed as he held the part that connected it to the bag. 

They both secured their grasp and Granger gave him a disbelieving look, glaring at him under an intense aura of what the fuck are you up to? Draco ignored it, smirking at her for one second before the bag began to rise as it did before, pulling it’s three passengers into a squeezed fit between the bricks. 

The ride up was less stressful to Draco since he’d done it before, and Ben was cackling in amazement next to him. All three of them erupted from the top of the chimney and rose high into the sky before the bag slowly placed them back down on the snowy roof. 

Granger let out a thankful gasp as she landed, holding her hands out to steady herself. Ben toppled into the snow in a laughing fit, holding his stomach as he did. Draco let the bag drop back down over his shoulder and he watched the boy (who must be freezing) as he laid in the snow. 

He looked over at Granger who was definitely freezing in her tiny, little shorts and Draco was moments from offering to go back inside and grab her some real bottoms but she gasped even louder than before, pointing behind Draco.

“Reindeer,” she gasped out and Draco turned to see where she was pointing. Her fingers directly guided him to the herd that was still connected to the sleigh. They were all standing very politely, hardly even noticing that Draco had returned with company. 

“Yes,” Draco mused, nodding. “Would you like to meet them? They’re quite…sassy.” He informed her, taking a chance glance at her. 

Granger looked over at him, her eyes still large with shock. “Sassy? Do they…talk?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

Draco scoffed, shaking his head curtly. “Absolutely not, Granger. What, have you lost your mind?” He accused playfully, beginning his way towards the animals. His eyes tracked to the sleigh and noticed that Trixie was no longer there. He frowned, looking around quickly.

“Lost something?” Granger asked, catching up to him with Ben right at her side. The boy was excitedly looking at the reindeer ahead and he suddenly took off running to see them up close. “Benjamin! Be careful- oh gods, do the reindeer bite?” Granger asked with a hiss, bracing for the worst.

But then Ben ran up the animals and they hardly even flinched at his impending presence. “There was an elf,” Draco explained as he watched the child reach out to pet the nose of one of the reindeer. Draco knew none of their names besides the obvious Rudolph, but Ben read off the collar, announcing ‘Comet’.

“I’m still not convinced this isn’t one humongous prank, Malfoy.” Granger told him once they finally reached the reindeer as well. Ben was making his entire round, greeting each of the reindeer, complete with throwing his arms around Rudolph lovingly. To which, Draco’s cold black heart twitched with fondness.

“It’s not.” He replied simply, shaking his head. “You haven’t opened your present.” 

Granger then looked back down at her wrapped present in her hands, twisting it around as they both heard Ben holler something about ‘Prancer’ and ‘Cupid’. Granger’s fingers softly pulled at the ribbon and it dropped to the roof, floating softly down. She delicately tore at the paper, finding a rose gold jewelry box. She paused ever so slightly, running a soft finger over the top of it.

Draco watched her with cool eagerness as Ben continued to enthuse about the reindeer on the other side of the sleigh. Granger opened the box then, revealing a heart shaped locket inside. She gasped instantly and Draco’s eyes lifted to watch her face. Her eyes were large and adoring, mouth parted in a gleeful surprise and Draco leaned forward, “What is it?” He asked curiously.

Granger didn’t respond but rather tore the locket from the packaging, dropping the remnants to the roof carelessly. Draco could see the faint shaking in her fingertips as she tumbled with unlocking it. Whether that was from the shock of her present…or from bearing the cold in her tiny, little shorts… Draco decided not to think about it. Instead, he watched the locket fall open in her palm.

There, inside, was a picture of a man. Some man that Draco was sure he’d never seen in his life. He was young and handsome, short dark hair coiffed with a smirk on his lips. The picture was not moving as all of the lockets that Draco was used to did, and he looked up to Granger, “Who is that?”

But Granger only giggled, shutting the locket and before she pulled it close to her chest. Draco rose a curious eyebrow quickly while he watched her. 

“A secret, then?” He asked.

“Certainly,” She nodded, avoiding his eye before she turned towards the sleigh. “Oh!” She gasped as if this was her first time noticing the ginormous sleigh on her roof. “This is what you came here in?”

“Yes,” Draco nodded, closing in on the sleigh himself. “The little elf helped me get here.”

“A little elf?” Granger asked, finally turning back to face him. He scanned her face, which seemed to not believe him once again. “Was it a house elf?”

Draco rolled his eyes before he grabbed onto the side of the sleigh, pulling himself into the carriage, a bit more elegantly this time. “No. One of Santa’s elves. She was insanely old but still looked the age of Ben,” Draco told her before he reached his hand out. “Up?” He asked.

Granger stared at his hand only for a moment before she shook her head. “Absolutely not, Draco Malfoy.”

“Why not, Granger?” He asked with a hiss. “You’re already on the bloody roof, yeah?” He shook his hand again, pulling her eyes right back to it. She looked at it with tight lips, twisting them in consideration. “Come on, the water is fine.”

Granger waited a couple more seconds before she finally sighed, reaching out and locking her hand with his. Draco effortlessly helped her into the sleigh and they both stood closely, looking at each other for a slow, agonizing second before they each turned separate ways. 

Draco looked out to Granger’s land, scouting the best way out through all of the trees and Granger looked towards the direction of Ben as he entertained a few of the reindeer with a long monologue about the improbability that deer could physically actually fly.

“What’s this?” Granger suddenly asked and Draco turned, eyebrows raising when he saw her pick up his Magic Merlin. Draco reached out, protectively, and quickly snatched it from her.

“Ah -“ he mumbled as he held it firmly in his hands before he tossed it over the back of the seat, into the compartment. “That is…for someone else, of course.”

“Uh huh,” Granger gave him an amused look and Draco flushed.

“It wasn’t mine, Granger.” He insisted once more and then suddenly turned towards Ben, changing the subject abruptly. “Hey, mate! Want to try out the sleigh?”

Granger hissed, “Malfoy!” But Draco ignored her, waving over her child. “He won’t leave if you let him in here.” She accused, crossing her arms at him.

Draco shrugged, glancing at her. “And why would that be an issue?” He questioned seriously. 

Granger gave him a look that probably was meant to make him feel stupid. She scoffed, “The children are presentless right now, remember?” She reminded him but Draco had not forgotten his impending quest whatsoever. “We really should be heading inside before we get sick-“

“You should come with me.” 

“What?” She asked with another laugh that Draco felt personally victimized by. She thought everything he said tonight was a bloody joke. Draco was no comedian and she should know that by now. “You’ve gone completely bonkers!"

“I have not. Trust me, I thought I had, too. But I haven't.” He assured her and Ben appeared next to the sleigh, raising a tiny hand for help. Draco turned to him, leaning forward to grab his outreaching palm. He pulled the boy up as if he weighed nothing at all, and Ben hopped happily into the sleigh. “Cool ride or what?”

But then he remembered it was Granger’s kid, the one who wanted presents concerning dinosaurs and maths. Ben looked around, only slightly amazed, and asked in a particularly snooty way, “How in the world can this thing possibly get in the air?” 

Granger smiled proudly, glancing up to Draco in a ‘well?’-like manner and Draco decided it was quite awful that Granger’s son was basically her duplicate. Draco looked between them lazily, both Grangers looking back at him expectantly. There were three moments of silence and Draco sighed, rolling his eyes, “It’s magic.” 

Ben was not pleased with that answer and rolled his own eyes. "It’s just not possible, Santa. Maybe if it had some kind of wings, or engine-“

“I’m not Santa.” Draco reminded him with a raised finger but the boy continued on.

“-and the reindeer are improbable, too. Perhaps you could’ve fooled me if they had some sort of wings as well, like a pterodactyl. Do you know what a pterodactyl is, Santa?”

Draco dipped his head back, letting another sigh out of his mouth. “Yes, I know what a bloody-“

“Malfoy.” Granger warned with a certain parental venom in her voice. Draco trailed off, looking back down at the kid. 

“Do you want to see how it works?” Draco asked, offering to show the kid just how improbable his endless inherited Grangerness was. And, of course, Ben lit up and nodded ecstatically.

“Malfoy.” Granger warned again, dropping her head into her hands. “I just said we’re not-“

“Mum, please! I can use this information for my next science fair project. Please, mum, just this once.” He tugged at her oversized shirt and Draco watched the way it tightened against her hip, showcasing her curves in a way that was quite hidden before.  

Draco felt himself smirk before he looked back up to Granger’s face the exact moment her eyes gave in. She let out a tiny sigh, nodding at Ben, “Okay…just this once, though. And you better use it for a project or I swear.” She assured him curtly before she glanced back up to Draco. “I guess one ride won't hurt.”

He let himself smile a full grin to her, nodding. He prompted them to take a seat and he grabbed the reins just as Trixie had done earlier. Granger didn’t have to know he’d never done this before… he had no need to mention that it was his first time driving the sleigh... “Ready?” 

“Go!” Ben yelled and Draco was not whatsoever ready but tugged the reins nevertheless. 

“Off, Rudolph!” He shouted in a confident leader voice, but felt not an ounce of his faked courage. The reindeer began to gallop, the jingle bells sounding as they slowly trudged forward. Draco steadied himself as he stood, holding as tightly as possibly around the reins. 

Ben let out an excited laugh from behind Draco and so he whipped the reins again, but he knew of no other names to call out and came up extremely short. He cleared his throat but Ben instead yelled out, “Off, Comet! And Prancer! And Vixen!”

The reindeer began to rise and Draco let out a silent, hidden laugh of disbelieving euphoria as the sleigh followed into the sky. It lifted further and further past all of the tall trees before it settled into the clear night sky.

Draco turned to chance a look at Ben and Granger as they both were excitedly peeking out of the side. Ben was leaned over, pointing at landmarks around the area and Granger held tightly to him, watching with wide eyes over his shoulder. Draco felt a pull in his stomach and watched for only a few moments before he turned forward once more, finally settling back into the seat and relaxed the reins in his hands. 

Surely the reindeer knew where to go…right?  

“Oh! Mum, I think this is Perrie’s house!” Ben stated, pointing over the sleigh. Draco raised his eyebrow, leaning over both of them to look as well. There was a lone house amidst a ring of trees and the reindeer began to lower towards it. It looked like Perrie’s house would be Draco’s next stop. 

He reached over the seat for the velvet bag and threw it over his shoulder. Draco noted the lightness again while it looked even larger than before and wondered what kind of presents this kid would be getting from Santa. Would it be more dinosaurs? More maths? 

Rudolph led the sleigh into an peaceful landing on the roof before Draco stood up from his seat. “I’ll be right back. Santa duty calls.” He announced, looking down at both Granger and Ben.

Ben’s lips parted in shock, “What did Perrie get for Christmas?”

“I don’t know.” Draco replied, shaking his head. “You’ll have to ask him at school when you return-“

“Perrie is mummy’s friend!” Ben informed Draco very matter-of-factly and it reminded Draco too familiarly to the other Granger on ship. Draco’s eyes glanced at her, who just twisted her fingers, returning a tight lipped smile to Draco. “He’s got a lot of money.” Ben supplied once more.

“Does he?” Draco asked with a quirk in his eyebrow. He looked away from Granger and stepped towards the edge of the sleigh, ready to hop out. “I’ll be right back.” He announced again before jumping over, boots crunching in the snow as he approached the chimney, hearing Granger scold Ben softly from behind. 

Draco could have guessed that Perrie had money once he fell (rather harshly) into his marble flooring at the base of his chimney. Draco groaned softly, rolling onto his front to rise to his knees as he looked around. The living room was large and spacious, much more than Granger’s, and everything was unnervingly spotless. Draco stood up, pulling his bag with him as he stalked towards the massive striking white Christmas tree that was lit up with looming red lights. 

The bag had three presents each for two kids, and then one present for Perrie. Draco was halfway to leaving it under the tree with the others but he stopped, seriously debating on just not leaving it. What’s the worst that could happen…really? Draco began to pull the present back to his body as he stood back up. 

He faced a wall of family portraits (muggle, as they were unmoving) and noted that Perrie was a tall man with dark hair (not the man in the locket, Draco was pleased to realize). He had a set of twins, by the look of it, that were slightly older than Ben - perhaps early teens. Draco raised a brow at the whole family in curiosity. Granger and Perrie were… what exactly? 

“Are you going to put that back?” 

“Fuck!” Draco startled loudly, reaching out to the nearest wall for support as he spun his hear around to find Trixie leaning sassily against the chimney bricks. He clutched his chest, heaving a breath and looked sternly at her, “Yes.” He snarled.

“You weren't going to.” She accused, tapping her foot to the marble floor. “What would you have done with it had I not showed up?” 

Draco shuffled the present in his hands awkwardly before he stepped back to the tree, dropping it carelessly amongst the others that were neatly placed. “I was going to put it back, Tina.” He told her lazily. “Must I really do this all night?”

“It’ll go by in a breeze,” she told him before she pushed herself off of the wall and approached him. “Santa would never keep presents from being delivered, you know.”

“I’m not Santa, you know?” Draco told her.

“You’re training to be. I must inform you that you're doing a horrible job so far. We’ve already sent out a sleigh full of elves to pick up the slack you’ve created.” Draco flushed under the scolding and she continued with tiny, fiery passion, “And you have brought two people along which completely breaks code 677, but it’s your first time and there’s no way you could’ve known that, so I’ll let it slide this one time but so help me if the next time you decide to woo a woman by inviting her onto the sleigh-“

“I get it.” Draco interrupted.

“I will have to report you back to the Workshop Committee. They are all very anxious to meet the new Santa, by the way. They’ve heard all sorts of stories so far.” She assured him with a particularly stern stare.

Draco tightened his lips before he bent down and picked up his gift bag. “Then by all means, Tina, let me do my job.”

“Trixie,” she told him through clenched teeth.

Draco dismissed that, walking past her with the bag dragging along Perrie’s crystal clean floors. He crawled back into the chimney and turned around, finding Trixie to be gone once more. Draco huffed out a sigh, happy to be rid of her before the bag rose and rose and rose until it was dragging Draco out once more. 

Granger didn’t say anything about turning around and going home as Draco directed the reindeer to the next house. He dropped off another set of children toys and two adult presents at that one, then followed it up with a large mansion where he had to release four sets of children presents and two more adult ones. 

She didn’t say anything for another hour of houses and neither Draco nor Ben was about to mention it. Draco didn’t mind the company, even if that company happened to both be Grangers with the tendency to be Grangerish and annoy the hell out of him; and Ben was living for all the inside scoop for his next science fair entry. 

Granger didn’t even say anything when Ben fell asleep, lying his head in her lap as she played with his hair. She ran her fingers through the young boy’s curly mess of hair on top of his head as she overlooked the sleigh, eyes scanning the cities below with amazement. 

Draco had pretended he knew what he was doing so much so that Granger believed him all together. She asked him where they were off to next, and while Draco had no living idea, he mumbled off a nearby city he knew the name of. She asked him how he knew which houses to stop at, and while he had no control of it whatsoever, he shrugged.

"Just an internal knowing." He told her and she nodded, believing him. 

The last house brought Draco in through a pipe on the side of the house, since they had no chimney. He had been bewildered, eyes widening as he stood, cluelessly looking around the roof for his entry point. 

He had not suspected, however, that he’d be able to fit through the tiny bloody pipe on the side of the roof but Draco was lifted and squeezed into the minute opening and was sucked into the home. 

Draco left three sets of presents for children and one each for the parents before he was pulled right back out of the pipe. He shook out his legs as soon as he touched the ground and twisted his back, letting the satisfying cracks run up his spine. “Merlin,” he groaned, dropping his head backwards as he noticed a sliver of light rising on the horizon. “I really should’ve just went to bed.” 

“I’m sorry?” Granger asked from the sleigh, looking over to him in confusion.

“Nothing,” he hollered back, shaking his head. Draco began his way back towards the sleigh and jumped back in. He relaxed into the seat and took a look over at the Granger duo. Ben still slept soundly in Granger’s lap and she had a hand rested on his chest, but her eyes on Draco. 

“What now?” She asked quietly, her eyes watching his. But Draco merely shrugged, 

“I suppose I’m supposed to return this sleigh.” He said, but he had no absolute idea on who and where to return it to. “This wasn’t a dream, was it?”

Granger looked at him as if she were considering it, but then ultimately shook her head. “I have pinched myself enough to know that it isn’t.” She assured him, “Thank you…for inviting us. Benjamin will never stop talking about this, I’m sure of it.” 

“I would have gone berserk doing it all by myself.” He told her and seriously believed it to be true. Then, a voice from in the back compartment chirped. A tiny, irritating voice of an elf, 

“We’ll be taking the sleigh back to the North Pole, sir.” Trixie informed him in her annoyingly childish voice, leaning over the seat in between Draco and Granger. Granger’s eyes widened, pulling back her head to get a clearer view of the elf who appeared. “ After you take the Misses and her son back home.”

“They can’t come?” Draco asked her, tilting his head like a curious puppy. Trixie gave him a stern look and Granger scolded him,

“Malfoy.”

Draco gave the tiniest smirk to Granger because he quite enjoyed the way she often scolded him. Something about it was fiery and hot - which are two adjectives Draco did not commonly refer to Granger as. 

“The North Pole does not take visitors. Even if it did, Santa is not supposed-“

“I’m not Santa.” Draco snarled once more at the small elf and she huffed right back, standing up fully to now make herself appear taller than Draco, who remained seated comfortably. 

“You are Santa. You are!” She crossed her arms as her glittered cheeks began to turn red. “And you're being quite a shite one, Mr. Draco Malfoy.” 

“You just called me by my name. Therefore, I am not Santa, kid.” 

“You just called me kid again! How many times must I remind you of my thousands of years of life before you were even thought of?” 

Granger sputtered, looking between the two. Maybe she wanted to intervene - her mouth stayed parted as if she might. But the bickering Santa and elf left no time for her to get any words in even if she meant to.

But then Benjamin Granger woke up from his peaceful slumber at the noise and turned over, eyes wide at the elf in the back compartment. Draco was in the middle of calling her a ‘freaky elderly child that has no right telling him how shite of a Santa Clause he was’ and Ben startled into a standing position, leaving the grasp of Granger. He hollered out, “Are you a real Christmas elf?”

That had been the only thing to stop the two from throwing even more snarky remarks. Trixie stopped, softening as she registered that a child was present and listening. “Oh!” She gasped, putting her hand over her mouth, bashful. Draco rolled his eyes and then noticed Ben’s face light up at her. Trixie continued, “You must be Benjamin Ronald Granger, lover of dinosaurs and maths!” 

Draco eyed Granger at the mention of Weasel’s name and then watched Trixie shake Ben’s hand. Their hands were both small and fit each other’s in a childlike way that reminded Draco once more of the elf’s ancient age. He looked back at Trixie, “Benjamin, here, wants to see the North Pole, Tina. Can you do that for him?”

Ben gasped at the same time Trixie turned to Draco with venomous eyes. “The North Pole doesn’t do vis-“

“Oh, please, Tina the elf?” Ben begged, kneeling onto the seat of the sleigh to beg at Trixie. Draco smirked, looking between the kid and the, well- not kid. Trixie crossed her arms, keeping steady eye contact with Ben now. 

She sighed softly, “My name is Trixie.” She told him with a finger raised in the air. “And I regret to inform you that the North Pole doesn’t allow visitors.” 

“We don’t need to go to the North Pole,” Granger interrupted, reaching out to grab her son. She pulled Ben closer to her, looking timidly at Draco. “Honestly- we’ve already broken enough rules, Malfoy.” 

“I’m Santa. I make the rules, Granger.”

“Ah-Ha!” Trixie snorted, pointing her finger now at Draco. “You just admitted that you’re Santa.” She wore a smug smirk and Draco reached out, grabbing her tiny finger in his hand.

He leaned closer to her, “If I’m Santa, I make the rules, right?” 

Trixie hesitated, looking between her finger that was held hostage in his grasp and his eyes that were stone cold on hers. “Sure, sir.” She admitted.

Draco snarled a viciously happy smirk. “Right. Therefore… I will bring the Granger’s to the North Pole. Little Ben has a project he’s working on, right Benny?” The attention was brought to the boy who timidly nodded, just as shy in the spotlight as Granger tended to be. 

Trixie tightened her lips, looking back at Draco with such rage that Draco worried it would be too much for her little body to handle. He held back any remarks that could kill his impending success, and waited for her to say something. Finally, she rolled her eyes, “Fine. But the Committee is so going to hear about this.”

The elf led the sleigh back to the North Pole. Draco had only meant to relax for one moment, but the single second he laid his head back onto the seat, his eyes fell closed. He slept until he was being shaken awake by little hands. Whether the were Grangers…or Ben’s…or Merlin forbid, Trixie’s little elf hand - 

Draco grunted awake, ripping his eyes open to find two separate new elves with their small grabbers poking and prodding at him. “Wha-“ he startled, flinching. “What are….who are you?”

“I’m Candy!” The red headed, long nosed child elf said and the other nodded, reaching back out to fix a wrinkle in Draco’s velvet coat, “and I’m Coco!” 

“Candy and Coco?” Draco asked, his eyes hard on the tiny hand that was adjusting his clothing. He looked around as the two elves hummed in a unified agreement. Draco noticed that the sleigh was now parked in a warehouse of some sorts and the reindeer were gone, “Where are we?”

“The sleigh shed,” Candy responded, reaching out and running a finger across his jaw. “The beard will come in time, of course.” She assured him with a nod.

“I can’t grow a beard.” Draco countered, pulling his face away from her touch. She didn’t mind, and even then reached down to brush out tangles that had matted in the fur of his coat. 

Draco looked around again, hoping to at least see Trixie running around with some kind of explanation of where she’d hidden away the Grangers at. Perhaps she disobeyed him and returned them home when he was sleeping. Gods, if she did that-

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Santa. I think you’re ready for the party now.” Coco told him, reaching her hand out to help Draco up. He reckoned that she couldn’t truly help all that much, but he had manners so he took her hand and…she pulled him up as if he weighed nothing. 

Draco was so surprised that he even stumbled, almost falling right over the edge of the sleigh. He caught himself with a small, unbelieving laugh. The night just kept getting weirder and weirder, he thought to himself. “A party?” He questioned, “What sort of party?”

“The Christmas Day Party, of course!” Candy informed him, brushing off the back of his jacket for two moments before she continued, “You act as if you’ve never been Santa before.”

“I haven’t.” Draco snarled, “And I’m not Santa now, either.” 

“Sure…” Coco giggled under her hand, nodding. “Santa.” 

Draco’s lip curled in annoyance but he just nodded, “Right. Where is this party? Are Granger and her academically forward child there?” He asked, switching his gaze between the two elves. They both shared giggles together, bending towards the other in a fit and Draco rolled his eyes as he felt very out of some loop.

“Yes, the Misses and her son are already three chocolate candy cane truffles and two hot chocolates deep, sir! You’ve been asleep for quite some time, you know.” Coco told him before she opened the small door of the sleigh that Draco had not even known was there (it would've been nice to know) She gestured for Draco to go first, “Everyone is waiting on the guest of honor.”

“Everyone?” Draco inquired as he took a careful step forward, grabbing onto the side of the sleigh to lift himself down to the earth. “Who’s everyone?”

The question sent the two girls into another fit of giggles and this time, Draco glared at them.

They both let their giggles trickle off with smiles before they jumped out of the sleigh as well, each one taking a hand of Draco’s. He was led away, towards the edge of the warehouse. “The whole North Pole, of course!”  

Great. Draco thought with a grimace and a shut of his eyes in preparation for whatever was in store for him. Why hadn’t he just gone to bed?

He found Granger dipping strawberries into a chocolate fountain, her skimpy pajamas long gone and traded for a large ball gown that flowed to the floor as a showy, glittery red mountain. White fur settled on her waist and at her neckline and Draco’s eyes unashamedly checked out every inch of Hermione Granger in that moment. 

She noticed him coming the moment she stuck the strawberry into her mouth, her teeth sinking in as their eyes connected. They widened brightly and Draco smirked, approaching. She tore the strawberry away, hiding her mouth as she ate the chocolate covered berry. 

“Granger,” Draco said in a low drawl as he approached and she looked up at him through her eyelashes which now wore sparkly makeup that made them look miles long. “Happy Christmas.” He told her.

She finally dropped her hand, letting her lips tug into a soft smile at him. “Happy Christmas, Malfoy.” She replied before she gestured around them, “I honestly can’t believe any of this is real."  

Draco nodded as he looked around with her. They were in a large room that looked as if it were meant solely for this party every year and was decorated in tinsel and fake snow to the absolute max. So much so that Draco felt like he may get some sort of PTSD every time he sees Christmas decorations from now on. He stopped himself from outwardly grimacing at it all, and turned back to her, “Imagine how I’m feeling right now.”

Her eyes jumped playfully, “Right, Mr. Clause,” she teased at him, reaching out and pulling at the fur around his own neckline. He eyed hers once more, but rose his gaze back up to her eyes as she continued, “Who would have ever guessed that it would be Draco Malfoy taking the new position of Santa.”

“It wasn’t my choice,” Draco countered, raising his finger. “I would pay very good money to forget this whole ordeal, in fact.” He assured her. 

Granger surveyed him, lifting the half bitten strawberry back up before she took another slow, unbelievably sexy bite. Draco didn’t even hide the fact that his eyes watched every agonizing second of it and by the smirk on the very edge of her lips, she had done it all on purpose. 

“Where is the boy?” Draco asked, his eyes ripping from her mouth. Granger chewed at her strawberry slowly as she pointed, and Draco followed her direction. He saw Ben surrounded by a herd of little elves all chatting and seemingly participating in some sort of Christmas present swap. Ben had a wide smile that showed just how much fun he was having and all of the elves around him laughed at every word he said, “Ah.”  

“He’s really just had the time of his life,” Granger said and Draco could tell that her mouth was still half full as she spoke. He looked back to her as she talked from behind her hand, “I can’t thank you enough-“

“No thanks needed, Granger.” Draco assured her, shaking his head. “I’m glad you both are here.” And Granger’s eyes softened at him. They didn’t often do that, usually they were much too busy sending darts of hateful silent shut ups at him. He quite liked the way they were soft, looking at him as if he’d done the best thing in the whole world.

Which, if he was allowed to say, he might have.

“Santa! Oh, Mr. Santa!” A squeaky male voice sounded from behind him and Draco turned, looked down, and saw his first boy elf. He was…not a child. In fact, he was quite elderly. He wore a monocle over one eye, and the other shut tight as he looked up at Draco. “Welcome to the North Pole, and welcome to the family!”

Draco held back a sassy sneer and instead held out his hand. The elf grabbed onto Draco’s thumb and gave it a stern shake, giving a tight lipped smile. Draco gave on back, “Pleasure is all mine, sir. I wrongfully assumed all the elves around here were…children.”

“None of them are children,” the elf reminded him and Draco could roll his eyes- but he refrained. “All over six hundred, at least.” He said after a quick calculation in his head. 

“How old are you?” And if it was rude to ask an elf that, Draco had no idea and he wasn’t sorry at all. The elf took no offense, just readjusted his monocle,

“Very old. Maybe one day I’ll tell you.” the elder elf told Draco. He raised his eyebrows, intrigued, and nodded.

“Of course,” Draco said. “And your name is?”

He shoved both hands into his small coat pocket and gave a proud grin, “I’m Mr. Grobbins, Santa’s list maker.” 

Draco nodded at him once more, “Of course. How have I never considered that to be a whole job in itself?” He asked, out loud but perhaps he could have kept it to himself. Granger giggled next to him.

Mr. Grobbins then eyed Granger as he responded to Draco, “I’m also the master hot chocolate maker- have the original recipe, you know.” He gave a nod to Granger, “And you must be Mrs. Clause.”

Granger and Draco sputtered at the same time, Draco raising his hands in defense as Granger shook her head (a bit too harshly, in Draco's opinion) but Mr. Grobbins interrupted both of their disagreements.

“You’re wearing the glitter dress, love. You’re Mrs. Clause.” He told her directly and Granger closed her mouth, taking an unsure glance down at her (gorgeous, Draco noted again) shimmering dress. “And you,” His monocled eye stared at Draco, “Don’t fully believe.”

Draco scoffed, “How could I not believe?” He asked the elf with an incredulous tone. “I delivered an unbelievable amount of presents in an impossible amount of time, and now I am here in the bloody North Pole.” 

“You believe in it,” Mr. Grobbins huffed, seemingly already tired of this conversation. Draco ought to probably take offense, but the elf continued before he could, “But you don’t believe you are it.”

Draco glanced at Granger for a split moment and she was looking right back at him, her eyes obviously scanning the suit that he currently had on. He looked down at his own getup and eyed the white fur, red velvet, and black belt. “I’m not Santa,” Draco said in a low voice. “I can’t be Santa, I’m just Draco-“

“Every Santa says that at first,” Mr. Grobbins brushed his comments off with a careless hand. “You’ll be used to it in a year or two.” 

“I have to do this again?” Draco asked exasperated, eyes wide at the elf. He didn’t want to do this again. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to go home and forget it all. Besides the image of Granger in this gods forsaken gown - “I won’t.” He insisted, shaking his head.

Mr. Grobbins shook his head, too. “They all say that, too. But come next November, you’ll be right back here for more training. And that’s a Christmas promise.” The elf smirked at him. 

Draco held back an evil snarl, “I don’t want to.”

“Yes, well..” Mr Grobbins sighed, pulling his hands from his pocket and ran a hand through his very thin, almost nonexistent hair. “Ms. Taffy requested a dance from me, so I better be off before I get in more trouble. If you know what I’m saying,” he gave Draco a knowing look before glancing over at Granger.

Then, he scurried off and Draco watched him place his small hand on the back of another elderly elf who barely seemed to know what was even going on. Draco looked back at Granger who was hiding her smile under her hand. “What?” He asked with a snarl.

“Nothing,” she said but her words were bubbling with a giggle. Draco sighed heavily and she dropped her hand, biting her lip to stifle her laughter. “The elves don’t seem to like you.”

“I had two very giggly ones that woke me that seemed to like me a bit too much,” he told her seriously with a shudder down his spine. This made another laugh fall out of her mouth and Draco admired the way her mascara’d eyes closed with a squeeze, “He called you Mrs. Clause.”

“He did,” Granger replied with a nod as her laughter died down because apparently that wasn’t as funny. “I mean…. I do look like I would be…“

“And perhaps I do resemble Santa Clause.” Draco said as agreement, and then both of them broke out into laughter as they pointed at each other’s outfits. Granger would be the only person in the world Draco wished to be the Mrs. Clause to his Santa. He had never thought of it in that way, but in this circumstance, well…there’s no one else he’d rather have with him.

Draco had been approached by Coco and Candy once more, both telling him that it was time for his speech, and Draco just about spilled his marshmallow decorated hot chocolate all over his suit. He was dragged away from Granger and pulled onto a stage in front of the entire North Pole. 

He gulped under the sudden spotlight and stepped up to the microphone that was, weirdly enough, shaped like an ice cream cone. Draco looked across the entire crowd of elves, noticing that Ben blended in too perfectly and that Granger stuck out horrendously. “Hello,” Draco began nervously. 

The entire crowd of elves burst into cheers for him and Draco startled ever so slightly, surprised at the excitement. He continued,

“It’s an honor to be here, and to have delivered those presents tonight. I assume you all worked very hard throughout the year for this night.” 

Which earned another loud round of applause and Draco eyed Granger who was clapping along, watching him with interest of what on earth are you going to say?

Draco continued, clearing his throat as he scanned the crowd again. “I would like to thank Mrs. Clause for allowing her and Benjamin to come along for the ride.” And then he smirked back at Granger as soon as the crowd erupted into applause again.

Granger was noticeably blushing under the spotlight and she waved awkwardly, tucking a hair behind her ear before throwing Draco a quick, disapproving glance. 

“And thank you to Trixie the elf for making sure that I didn’t die on my first ride.” 

The crowd of elves burst into loud laughter as Draco tried finding the elf that had helped him, but she blended in far too well and he was on the spot, so his search was short lived and unsuccessful. 

He continued, “Lastly, I would like to shout out Benjamin Granger, who shall forever win science fairs and just might actually be smarter than everyone else, including me. Thank you, Happy Christmas!”

And the noise was loud between elves laughing and cheering and hollering as Draco exited the stage. He was approached by herds of little elves reaching out for hugs that he only half returned in fear of breaking them. After ten minutes of being told a multitude of elves’ names (in which he remembered just about two of), Draco finally escaped the depths of it all and found Granger and Ben together with a breath of relief. 

“Great speech, Santa!” Ben jumped forward to hug him and Draco guessed that one last hug wasn’t too horrible. So he hugged the boy back and glanced up at Granger who had that soft look again. Ben released him and looked up at Draco, “You’re a much cooler friend than Perrie is.”

Draco couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that spread on his lips as Granger hissed ‘Benjamin!’ But Draco preferred that Ben say that a rightful ten more times.

“Is that right?” Draco asked with a flustered tone. “I suppose I am Santa Clause. That's hard to beat, you know.”

Ben gave an excited laugh, nodding. “Yeah! And this whole place is yours!”

It’s..Draco’s? He hadn’t thought about that, he guessed. The elves also had referred to themselves as his, which was a little strange but he’d owned two house elves at once one time- how different could hundreds of little thousand year old elves be? “Exactly,” Draco agreed before he smiled up at Granger. “Perrie may have marble floors but I have gingerbread ones.”

Granger gave him a pointed look but Draco laughed at himself as Coco and Candy ran back up. Draco stiffened, hoping to all the gods that he didn’t have to do another speech, but they reached out for Ben. “We’re going outside for a round of candy baseball, would you like to come?”

Ben lit up with excitement and nodded, “Yes! I’ve never played baseball before, is that okay?” 

“The first time is the best time,” Coco assured him before both elves took each of Ben’s hands just as they’d done to Draco earlier in the night. Granger yelled out a meek ‘Have fun! Be safe!’ And then Draco and Granger were left alone once more. Draco thought he was beginning to prefer it that way, as if every other person’s presence was an inconvenience to them.

 “You called me Mrs.Clause.” Granger accused with a pointed finger. Draco felt his lips tug into a smile as glanced down at her finger.

“I did,” he agreed. He reached out and took her finger in between his forefinger and thumb, “It won’t piss Perrie off too bad, will it?”

He watched Granger’s cheeks blush and she shook her head, eyes glancing down at the way he held her finger before he finally twisted their hands into a grasp. He dropped them lower and they were officially holding hands. “No,” she stated matter-of-factly. “He’s not…anything, you know. His kids go to Ben’s school, that’s all.” 

Draco hummed in acknowledgement as Granger looked down at their hands. Draco’s eyes followed and gave her hand a squeeze. “I was going to wait until we somehow accidentally landed under a mistletoe but…I really would like to kiss you right now. The way you look in this dress- Merlin.” Draco broke off his rant in fear that he’d never stop talking and reveal some very embarrassing things about certain thoughts he’d had. 

Granger glanced back up to him with quick surprise and wide eyes as she visibly considered whether or not he was joking. Draco remained as stoic as ever, watching her eyes shift between his. “What is stopping you?” Her voice was quiet and soft and Draco wasted absolutely no seconds before his free hand grabbed her waist, drawing her in for a long, deep kiss. 

Her lips tasted like chocolate strawberries and Draco would have whimpered against her had the duo not been in a room full of child-like elves. Instead he just sighed softly into her mouth, as if he’d been waiting on this moment forever. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Draco needed to be as close as he could get, he decided at that moment.

As soon as Draco’s tongue grazed her lips, begging to enter, one little elf began to clap beside them and then it spread like an untouchable wildfire. Draco tore his lips away, still holding Granger close, and dropped his head backward while it seemed like the entire room was now applauding him and Granger for snogging. 

Draco felt a hot blush begin to tint at his cheeks and he unwillingly let Granger go as she huffed embarrassed giggles out. “Thank you all,” Draco nodded, finding his will to not completely embarrass himself in the middle of hundreds of children...adults, he supposed- but they looked like children. “Thank you all so much.” And even if his tone was quite sarcastic, the little elves cheered all the same. 

So the entire Christmas Day was spent hurtling chocolate truffles at ungodly speeds all thanks to a candy cane baseball bat, Draco managing to pull Granger underneath each and every mistletoe that hung about the North Pole (which…was a lot, he might add.) to give her every kiss he’d meant to before, but had never found the strength to give, and off-pitch elves singing Christmas carols until the sun fell down back behind the workshops.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!