Archive of Our Own

[Before]

The fact that Kageyama Shigeo is an Omega was not common knowledge. Omegas and Alphas were rare to begin with, and they always stood out. When you were average, no one would assume that you were part of the 4 percent of the population. 

But Teruki should've realised it sooner.

After all, there was nothing average about Shigeo's psychic powers.

The first time he was defeated by Shigeo, he thought it was humbling to know that not only did he encounter a stronger esper, the person was not even an Alpha. Not an Alpha like him, who are supposedly gifted with superior qualities regarding their physical and intellectual capability. ' A Beta ', Teruki thought,  'I was beaten to a pulp by the sex that I hardly recognize as equal' .

He learnt that Ritsu was a Beta when Shigeo came to him for help, which makes sense, he thought. After all, it is common for Betas to have an All-Beta family.

As he continued to grow closer to Shigeo, he learned a lot of things about his friend. He knew that Shigeo was struggling to express his emotion and he learnt to find subtlety in Shigeo's movements and words and smiles. He knew that Shigeo liked milk and always drank some before bed. He knew that Shigeo appreciated the little touches that he did not even realise making towards Shigeo. He knew how easy it is to fluster Shigeo with compliments, and learnt that he's the cutest when he says "Thank you,". He learnt that Shigeo is clumsy and the arm that he occasionally put around Shigeo was welcomed.

None of those ever had anything to do with his sex. Teruki has never considered Shigeo more than a close friend then.

Well.

Who was he kidding.

Maybe Teruki did have a little crush on Shigeo.

But it was just, you know. It's true that his whole worldview was restructured by Shigeo's power and compassion and because of it, he had grown into something better than he was then; and that he learnt many little things about his friend which most he found adorable; and that Shigeo's smile often made him weak in the knees.

But that does not mean he fell in love.

Maybe a little bit, but it's just the right amount of love and adoration you'd bestow upon a close friend.

Right?

-

They still went to different high schools after they graduated, but they managed to still hang out from time to time, sometimes Teruki would join one of his part-time jobs, and some other times it was just hanging out in the park after school.

That one day, there's only Reigen and Serizawa in the office. Teruki wanted to pick Shigeo up and see if he wanted to hang out before home, but when he asked, Reigen just answered,

"Oh, didn't you know? Mob is out today. It's his heat this week."

Teruki needed a moment before he let out a "Huh?"

Reigen just continued chattering, "—It's good that his schedule is regular, imagine having a client and not having him to assist—,"

Teruki was awoken from his stupor and raised a hand to stop Reigen from talking, "Wait. Kageyama-kun is an Omega?"

It was Reigen's turn to pause. "Yeah. He never told you?"

Teruki left that question unanswered and went home, feeling confused.

He never considered it, but there are things that he realised now, only after knowing that Shigeo is an Omega. A lot of things make sense now. Shigeo have little stamina and even though he's training with the Body Improvement Club, he never seemed to gain a muscle. His fitness improved, but his body not so much. His smell was faint, but Teruki had always thought it was sweet. He was warm all the time because his—Omega's—normal temperature was higher than others. 

He also realised that he liked touching Shigeo, even unconsciously sometimes, because Shigeo's skin feels good under his. 

And now he also knew the reason why even though he knew how strong Shigeo actually was, he couldn't help but think he wanted to protect Shigeo.

Without him knowing, the Alpha in him had already known his best friend was an Omega.

Teruki had a hard time sleeping that night.

—

Teruki understood.

After the incident where he finally realised that Shigeo was not the Beta he thought he was, he thought about his relationship with Shigeo a lot.

Alphas and Omegas were rare and the stories that revolved around them were too good to be true. Alphas and Omegas have unique relationships, they said. They synced, their energies matched well, and it was said that the bond between Alphas and Omegas ran deeper than any other pair. It is intuitive for the pair to stimulate each other in mental, emotional, physical, or intellectual capacity. It was also said that they would have stronger and plentiful offspring for their compatibility.  

He thought it was stupid.

But he found himself wondering when he gained the knowledge of Shigeo's true nature.

It's hard to discern because he never met another Omega before Shigeo, but he was certain that he had feelings for Shigeo and it was not only because Shigeo is an Omega. Shigeo is important to him. Omega or no Omega, Shigeo had always had a special place in his heart. 

It was true that knowing Shigeo was an Omega made him evaluate his feelings, but he knew that what he felt towards Shigeo all this time—adoration, admiration, respect, excitement—had never got to do with his Omegahood.

This was a wake-up call for him, Teruki thought. Indeed, the conclusion of many many days of thinking about this was that he very much wanted Shigeo to be more than his friend.

And naturally, to be  something more , Teruki tried to court Shigeo. 

He did.

He picked Shigeo up after school or his part-time job and walked him home. Not that he never did that, but now he did it more than usual, and with intent.

He was conscious of the touches he made now, so he could study what is welcomed and what aren't, what is comfortable for Shigeo and what isn't. They would hold hands, he would put his hand on Shigeo's shoulder sometimes, or his waist if he was lucky. Shigeo never seemed to mind, sometimes he would smile at that, even.

He went to Shigeo's house, hanging out in his room, and Shigeo would do the same and visit his. He flirted with Shigeo: calling him cute, bringing little gifts, and buying him some milk when they met up at the park. It always earns a warm smile or a soft blush on Shigeo's face.

It came naturally to him. It felt like he had been doing it forever.

Teruki knew he was attractive. He always preened when Shigeo gave him compliments.

So there were many times when he thought that maybe, Shigeo felt the same.

But then each time he gathered the resolve to make his feelings—his intention—known, he learnt more and more that Shigeo had always been looking at him as a friend.

It didn't deter him at first: Teruki prided himself in having the things he put his mind to.

He thought that he needed more time.

A little more time, and Shigeo will see him as something more, and he would confess and ask to court, and they will be together.

After all, Shigeo liked him. A lot. He knew this. Their first meeting was a nightmare, but they apologised for things they did to each other then, and every time they made mistakes after. The time they spent together was fun for him and Teruki knew it was not because of his overconfidence that he thought it was fun for Shigeo too. 

So he was sure Shigeo liked him. As friends, now. But he could work with that.

Or so he thought.

-

It was that time when they were in the theme park.

Ritsu and Shou were supposed to come too but when both cannot attend for reasons, Teruki thought that it must've been a divine intervention for him to confess.

They went on a lot of rides, and all of them were fun. Teruki was enjoying himself so much, that it was not until Shigeo said,  "It's late now, maybe it's time to go home,"  that he remembered that this was the perfect opportunity to confess.

He steeled himself and moved towards Shigeo properly. "Yeah, but um, before that. I actually had something to tell you, Kageyama-kun."

Shigeo looked up from where he was looking—it was a carousel—and smiled at Teruki. "Of course, Hanazawa-kun. What is it?"

"You know," Teruki hesitated a little. He wasn't sure where to start, "I have always considered you special, Kageyama-kun. You are one of the closest people that I have."

Kageyama smiled even wider and said, "Me too."

Teruki looked at that smile and wondered how it would be to see that for the rest of his life, "A-and, yeah. I like you so much. I want to be with you, and I was, thinking that if we could... be together. You know?"

Shigeo blinked, "Aren't we?"

Teruki felt faint, "We... are?"

Shigeo moved his hands to hold Teruki's, "Yeah, we're friends, aren't we?" Then Shigeo glanced down to see his feet, a shy smile made its way to his lips, "You are very important to me too. I'm glad that you are my friend."

'No,'  Teruki wanted to say.  'That wasn't what I meant,'

But he had been studying Shigeo for so long. 

At that moment, he understood.

Shigeo's shy smile, the soft touches on Teruki's hand, and his acceptance of Teruki's touch—they are because Shigeo trusted Teruki with all his heart.

Trusted Teruki as a friend.

And Teruki realised that he did not want to betray that trust.

So Teruki had a smile on his face too when he said. "Yeah. I am glad you are my friend too."

-

So Teruki kept it.

He likes Mob, Mob is a wonderful friend. Being a friend is good too. He probably will meet someone else, and has a crush on them, and he and Mob can be friends forever still.

Right?

So Teruki dated 2 people throughout high school. One Beta girl and another Omega boy.

Mob was there. His friend. His best friend.

And still. The girl lasted for two months, the Omega boy barely a week—Shigeo didn't even notice he dated him.

With the girl, he realised that the fact he likes someone does not mean he wanted to be together with them, and with the boy, he realised that it didn't matter if the boy was Omega—he only wanted to be with one person, and that person is Shigeo.

He quit trying to date anyone.

It will be just cruel to them.

-

Throughout the years, a lot of people thought they were dating. 

Even so when they knew Shigeo was an Omega.

After all, why would an Alpha and an Omega be close, if they're not together as a pair?

(Ritsu had thought they were dating  even  before Teruki realised he had feelings for Shigeo)

But to those comments, Shigeo always replied, "Oh no, we're just friends."

Teruki had learnt to give the same answer too.

—

Teruki didn't remember when they switched to calling each other on a first name basis. He didn't really remember. It just happened naturally, as he grew closer to Shigeo and his family. Eventually, when "Kageyama" referred to four people, it was easy to just call them by their names. The "Otouto-kun" had become just "Ritsu-kun" and "Kageyama-kun" just become "Shigeo" (or "Shige", sometimes).

And naturally, Shigeo had been calling him "Teru" in return.

He didn't know how much he wanted to hear that.

He thought that it must've been nice if it was whispered to him softly on his bed, when they were together after making a lot of love, as they looked into each other's eyes—

And crushing those thoughts—of Shigeo writhing beneath him, of Shigeo's caress on his skin, of the whines and moans that escaped through Shigeo's lips—over and over and over in the past year had made Teruki realise once again that it's impossible to keep it inside him after all.

Teruki didn't try to think about it so much, but he knew the depth of his feelings as time went by. Even when he tried to keep it inside, Shigeo had always been the person in his wet dreams and daydreams and he didn't think it was something he could continue like this.

His love for Shigeo was not something he could contain by himself. 

-

When they graduated high school and just before going to college, Teruki tried to confess again.

They were sitting in the park, and Teruki started with a question, "Kageyama-kun, have you ever thought of getting a mate?"

Shigeo just looked at him blankly, "Not particularly, I guess." He paused, trying to work on what to say next. "I think, even when I liked Tsubomi-chan, I never really thought about mating. It's just. I thought I liked her, then. But I don’t know, now. I think maybe I never really liked anyone that way."

Teru didn't even notice that he had his gaze on his shoes now. It suddenly became something interesting to see for him now. He just let out a soft, "Oh, I see."

'Well,'  Teru thought  'I guess that's it.'  The truth was, Teruki had hoped that there was a chance for him to be in Shigeo's heart. Perhaps he should take the lack of romantic presence in Shigeo's life to be an encouragement for his pursuit, but at the time it felt discouraging.

It felt like a confirmation of unrequited feelings.

Teruki didn't have much time to mull over his heart that ache, because Shigeo turned his attention to Teruki and asked, "What about you, Hanazawa-kun?”

'I do. A lot.'  Teruki wanted to say. But he didn't say it. No need to make all his romantic and sexual fantasies consisting of him and Shigeo known to the said boy. Not when he knew it would probably just make Shigeo uncomfortable. He reverted his gaze to see Shigeo's face, and instead, he said, "Um, I guess." Because lying felt wrong.

"Oh!" Shigeo looked surprised. And interested. Teruki knew this. Teruki had studied many glints in Shigeo's lovely eyes. Now it has excitement in it. "I didn't know. Do you have a person in mind?"

'Yeah. It's you.'

Teru grinned to hide his grimace, "Well, it's more like,  it will be nice to be bonded with someone and... spend the rest of your life with them...  is what I thought."

That wasn't a lie too.

"Ah," Shigeo sighed. "It does sound nice." 

Teruki didn't answer. He had his eyes set on the trees in his line of vision and just nodded.

It seemed that Shigeo noticed that Teruki became somewhat pensive, and spoke again, "I am sure you'll find a mate in no time. Anyone who bonds with you will be very lucky, Teru. You are the sweetest Alpha I know."

Teru forced himself to laugh at the irony, he shook his head and turned to Shigeo again, and he smiled as he spoke, "Of course I am, I'm the only Alpha you know."

Shigeo spluttered, saying that  it is not true, Shou was an Alpha too  and Teru proceeded to tease Shigeo regarding the many friends he made over the years.

Shigeo had his mouth set in a thin line (and Teruki found it adorable, that it was Shigeo's version of pouting), and before Teruki was able to deflect and change the topic, he started to speak again, "I was serious about that. I believe you will find a mate who loves you very much, so you don't need to worry about it."

Teruki looked at Shigeo. He saw the twinkle in Mob's eyes, and as he saw, he thought of the earnestness of Shigeo's words—remember the pureness of his touch.

Rather than anyone will be lucky to be  his mate ; anyone will be lucky to be  Shigeo's friend .

Teruki was lucky to have Shigeo as a friend.

He thought about it, how forgiving and how kind Mob is. How strong yet gentle he can be. How fun and exciting the days spent with him are.

"Maybe I was greedy",  Teruki thought.  Maybe this is enough for a person like me.

Obviously, a person as precious and as wonderful as Shigeo deserved someone better.

—

He took his time mending his broken heart.

Maybe it's good that they were not in the same university. It's still close, so they can hang out, but when Teruki wanted the time to himself, he did not need to make up so many excuses.

That day he looked at himself in the mirror and decided to get his hair cut.

—

"I like your new hair," said Shigeo. "It suits you."

Teruki smiled and put his hand through his undercut, and replied with a laugh, "Thanks," 

Teruki had made up his mind and mended his broken heart. Now he can move on from his feelings and be a good friend to Shigeo, without having any more hope of being together.

A genuine, platonic relationship between friends.

Yeah.

-

Throughout college, a lot of people thought they were dating too.

Shigeo still replied, "Oh no, we're just friends."

Teruki didn't feel replying with the same answer hurt like it used to.

—

[Now]

Teruki was an attractive Alpha. Shigeo knew this.

And his face was not even the only thing that made him physically attractive. Yes, Teruki was handsome. But Teruki had always been athletic because of soccer as well, and he still jogs regularly (sometimes they do it together at the weekends when they're both free). He also knew Teruki went biking in the mountains—he joined him once or twice.

It was not a wonder that Teruki is popular. He had always been. He remembered he stood out in high school—he still played soccer then, and he was good at it. Teru didn't continue playing when they were in college, but it's not like he was popular because he played sports. He was fun to talk to and his jokes were funny. He was outgoing and friendly to people, so many people liked him. The girls fawned over him and the boys respected him. It seemed Teruki mellowed a little bit as they grew older since he didn't seem to be as outgoing as he was when they were at school, but Shigeo believed that he was still popular.

So Shigeo wondered sometimes, why Teruki never really courted anyone.

Shigeo knew Teruki would like that, having a mate. 

And he thought it would be wonderful, to see his friend being in love and happy. He would love to witness that.

But Teruki never courted anyone. Teruki dated some people in high school, but never court. And Shigeo knew this because he knew everything about Teruki. 

He was his best friend, after all.

And it was weird because it seemed easy, from Shigeo's point of view, to just know Teruki and  want  to spend time with him for the rest of his life.

Maybe Teru just haven't found anyone yet , Shigeo thought,  After all, who does not want to be with Teru?

—

In university, Shigeo met more people. He wasn't the only Omega in some of his classes, and he met a couple of Alpha here and there.

He never thought being an Omega was a big deal. It was not a big deal in his family, and it was not a big deal in his schools. Indeed, most people didn't know, but that proved how little difference the secondary sex made. He had to drink suppressants regularly and he had a couple of heats a year, but other than that, he didn't feel he was that much different from other people. It was like his psychic powers—it's there and he experiences things that are different from the others, but there's nothing fundamentally distinct about him as a person.

Teruki though, Teruki was different, he thought. When he spoke to Shigeo, touched Shigeo, or was with Shigeo on a general basis, Shigeo knew that Teruki had a different presence than others. His was more prominent—more demanding. It was like it was pulling Shigeo in, but not really. 

He thought it was an Alpha thing, and he was not wrong about that. 

But it was only when in university that he noticed things that were different and similar between and among the secondary sex.

He was right. With Alphas, he felt a little different.

But he realised that Teruki was more different than other Alphas he knew.

With Teruki there was a sense of safety. He was warm but grounding.

Other Alpha didn't make him feel that. But it made sense, Shigeo thought, Teruki was his best friend.

Of course, he was unlike any other.

Thinking about it made him miss Teruki, so he opened his phone to text if Teruki would like to meet after his class.

—

Teruki had grown much taller now compared to middle school, whilst Shigeo, not so much. Teruki was taller than Ritsu, and Ritsu was still taller than Shigeo even now. There was at least a head difference between Teruki and him now, but he didn't mind. 

He felt like it was a perfect height to rest his head on Teruki's shoulder. 

Sometimes his head would feel a little heavy, and when it happened Teruki would gather him in his arms and let his head sit on his shoulders.

It's the perfect height now, so there's that.

He was woken up from his trance when Teru said, "Are you tired? You had been leaning on my shoulder for a while. Shall we go home now?"

Not really, Shigeo thought. He was not tired. It was just comfortable.

But it was late, so it made sense that they go home, so he said, "Okay." 

Teruki smiled, and Shigeo thought that his smile was always warm and lovely. It's contagious.

They walked home together—his house was their first stop, and then Teruki would walk to his apartment. Shigeo had offered that they drop by Teruki's apartment first from time to time because it seemed a bit unfair, but Teruki said that he liked seeing him home safe and allowing him to do so indulges him. It's only when their timetable matches and Shigeo doesn't push further. If he can make Teruki happy by dropping him off, he'd gladly allow it.

He was happy too.

—

It was a Sunday afternoon and Shigeo was helping his mother with the dinner. Mrs. Kageyama was frying the chicken as Shigeo washed the dirty dishes from the cooking preparation. They talked about the university, the neighbour's new dog, and various kinds of things that happened that week. Shigeo was not surprised when his mother began talking about Teruki, but the content actually did.

"So Shige, have you decided anything about moving forward on your relationship with Teru-kun?"

Shigeo wasn't done with the dishes, but he paused to see his mom. "Eh?"

"I mean, Okaa-san is just worried," His mother put aside the cooked chicken and turned off the stove. She put her hand on her hip as she turned to Shigeo fully. "He's an Alpha, isn't he? Hasn't it been too long for a casual relationship? I mean, I understand when it was before—you guys were too young for anything serious back then. But you guys are adults now. I was wondering if you guys had talked about being bonded or at least you sharing a heat or two with him."

"Okaa-san," Shigeo spoke, confused, "It's not like that with Teru."

"Huh?"

"Teru and I were just friends."

His mother's lip is set into a line and it made Shigeo a little worried. So his mother thought he was dating Teru all this time? "But, I thought—", His mother paused. She looked at Shigeo in the eye.

His mother looked at Shigeo like that sometimes, when there were things Mothers just knew about their children. She had one when Shigeo back home after losing control of his powers, and she also had one when Shigeo was about to get his first heat. She had one as well when Ritsu didn't come home for a night without telling anyone.

His mother motioned him to continue the dishes, and said, "Finish it, and let's talk."

—

"So what is this about you and Teru-kun?"

"I told you, we were just friends. We are close, and he's important to me, but it was all there is."

"But Shigeo, hasn't he been courting you? He often brought you gifts, and he walked you home, you spend so many times together, I thought you had been dating since you were in high school."

...Shigeo thought that was normal for friends, "Do friends not do that?"

"Well, I suppose they can. But I see you so comfortable with him and he looked so enamoured to you."

"Enamoured, with me? Teru does not see me like that."

"Really? Did he tell you so?"

"Well, he never told me otherwise."

"Shigeo, what I am afraid is that he did and you didn't realise. Are you absolutely sure Teru-kun didn't think you were dating?"

Shigeo thought about it. He tilted his head slowly, trying to really if there was anything that could resemble any romantic interaction between him and Teruki. 

Teruki used to hold his hand when they were walking down together, but he never did that again once they were in high school. Teruki also used to hug him a lot, and he still does, but not... that much. Shigeo lamented a bit that he missed those times, but they're growing up, and perhaps it's not something you do as much when you get older.

"Of course not." Shigeo finally said. His mom frowned at that answer.

"Okay," His mom said, "But what about you, Shigeo? Don't you like him?"

"Of course I do," There is no hesitance in Shigeo's answer. "He's my best friend."

His mom shook her head at that and tried again, "Of course. But Shigeo, I am asking if you would like to be together with him, as an Omega and an Alpha. If Teru-kun were to court you, would you like that?"

Shigeo felt heat in his cheeks. 

He never thought about Teruki like that.

Never.

But when faced with that question, it turned out that he didn't really need to think about it too much, because the answer was clear.

"I do."

"Why," Mrs. Kageyama sighed, "I think there are things that need to change if this was the case."

—

"Master,"

"Hm?"

"Do you think Teruki likes me?"

Reigen choked on his coffee.

He wiped the mess that he just made and looked at Shigeo incredulously.

"Mob."

"Yes."

"I thought..." Reigen shook his head, changing his mind, "You know what? You are all grown up now. There are things that grown-ups do themselves, and I think this is the kind that you should ask the person themselves."

Shigeo's cheeks reddened, shy, "Oh... I understand that is true. It's just that, I wasn't sure about... all this. I like him... and if he likes me... what will become our friendship?"

Reigen nodded sagely. He walked closer to Shigeo and patted his head gently, "Don't worry. Isn't he your best friend? You will figure it out just fine."

That was the encouragement that Shigeo didn't know he needed.

-

"Shige! Hey! This way!" Teruki waved from where he stood, and in no time, walked to meet Shigeo in the middle.

It was another moment where Teruki waited for him to go home together—albeit he mentioned waiting at a different place this time. 

But this time, it was a little bit different.

Okay, maybe quite a lot.

This time, Shigeo was aware of his own feelings.

"Teru, hi," Shigeo smiled with a tint of shyness.

"Hi," Teruki grinned, "You are early!"

Shigeo nodded, "I can't wait to see you."

That kind of answer used to make Teruki flustered before, but he knew better now—that's just how Shigeo is, a sweet guy who does not think twice about expressing honest feelings.

"Me too!" Teruki replied cheerily. That made Shigeo blush. He had always been happy hanging around with Teruki, but he never realized how much he had taken their mutual companionship for granted.

"Ah," Teruki motioned him to check the board with some brochures and posters in the back of the seats where he was waiting, and asked, "I saw there's a firework event next week, you have finished all your finals then, right? Do you want to come with me? I think it would be fun."

"Oh, um," The cog in Shigeo's head was turning wildly, "I would want to."

"Awesome!"

They continued to talk as they walked down the usual path they took to go home, and when they passed by the park, Shigeo decided to ask him the thing that had been on his mind since the start of their walk.

"Teru,"

"Yeah?"

"Next week. The fireworks," Shigeo spoke slowly and eloquently, but there was red on his cheeks, "is it a date?"

Teru blinked. Well, he wanted that to be, but it isn't, so, "No? We will just hang out, won't we?"  Like usual for the past 7 years we're friends.

“Oh,” Shigeo paused, thinking what he was going to say. He was feeling a little bit disappointed at the answer, but he also understood that there was no reason for it to be anything other than a friendly outing for Teruki.

Yet it also means that there was nothing between them more than friends, and for some reason, that realization made Shigeo feel sad.

That’s not right.

Shigeo was not supposed to be sad because of their friendship. It’s a precious relationship that he has with Teruki, and he has been the happiest because of it.

So why?

Teruki seemed to pick up his mood and asked cautiously, “What’s wrong? Was there perhaps a reason that you would, uh,” Teruki wondered if he messed up somewhere, “think that it’s a date?” 

Shigeo was woken up from his trance and replied hurriedly, "No. It’s... I wasn't sure. My mother... I had a conversation, and I realized that you might... you might have been courting me, and I just didn't notice, and I didn't properly—"

"No, Shigeo, it's fine. Don't worry, I wasn't courting you, so you don't need to be confused or anything,"

Shigeo felt his heart sink a little, "Oh."

"I mean, I guess I did try, back then when we were in high school, but I... I got over it now, hahaha." Teruki sheepishly ruffled his head—it had become a habit since he got his hair cut. And that wasn't a lie, isn't it? Teruki had crushed the idea of him and Shigeo being a pair since a long time ago. He must have gotten over it.

He must have.

Shigeo didn't say anything for a while, and Teruki started to get a little worried. He couldn't see his eyes from where he was standing, so he leaned a little and brought his hand to touch Shigeo's shoulder softly "...Shigeo?"

Shigeo looked a little startled by the touch, and Teruki felt bad, "Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you."

Shigeo didn't look up, but he shook his head and whispered, "No, it's not, um—does that mean..."

"What's that?" Teruki moved closer, "I can't hear you well."

Shigeo finally did look at Teruki, and Teruki wondered what he was thinking because for a second Teruki thought that he looked— "Does this mean that you don't want to court anymore?" Shigeo said. He looked sad.

Oh, "Um, yes? I mean, no. I haven't tried to court you or anything,"  I knew you don't feel the same and I don't want to put you in that spot,  Teruki didn't say.

Teruki was about to say more when he noticed the tremble in Shigeo's lips—adorable, kissable lips—and the water in the rim of his eyes, "Shige—"

"I'm sorry."

The tears were running freely down Shigeo's cheeks at this point and Teruki struggled to find a word, "No—please, don't—" Out of all the rejection scenarios that he had in his head, none of them happened with Shigeo crying in front of him like this. But of course he will. Shigeo was kind, and there's no question that he will feel bad for Teruki. 

"No, I'm sorry," Shigeo said. "I didn't know, and now that I'm, I—" Shigeo sobbed at the word, and Teruki moved his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

"Shigeo, it's OK." Teruki patted Shigeo's back, and felt the warm tears seeped into his shirt, "I'm over it, it doesn't matter."

Shigeo stayed silent, but he knew that he cried slightly harder, and Teruki hoped that it would end soon because he really didn't think that his heart could take it and he thought he'd gonna start crying too at any moment. More than getting rejected—he made peace with it already—he really hated seeing Shigeo sad. 

Shigeo sobbed as he pushed Teruki's chest slightly, signalling to be let out of the embrace. Teruki opened his arms and let go. Shigeo did not move his gaze from Teruki's chest, where a dark spot had formed from his tears, "I am going home," he said.

"Let me walk you home."

Shigeo didn't answer for a bit, until he lifted up his head and looked at Teruki, "...Ok." he said.

Teruki hesitated, but he moved to Shigeo's side and held his hand, "...Ok?" Teruki said, gesturing to their holding hands.

Shigeo only answered with a nod.

The walk to Kageyama household is short, because the park is not that far from it. They spend it in silence. There were occasional hitches of breath from Shigeo here and there, but mostly silence. 

They arrived at the door, and Shigeo turned to Teruki before going in. The rim of his eyes was still red, but at least they were dry. He started to speak again, "Teru, I—"

"If you're gonna apologise again, please don't." Teruki cut him off. He decided that whatever it was that Shigeo wanted to say, he didn't think he could hear it now. "I am happy," Teruki said. "You are everything that I could hope for, and I am grateful to have you as a friend." ’ So please,’ , Teruki thought, ’ don't cry anymore ’.

Shigeo's eyes were big. He didn't answer, or move, but he looked at Teruki in the eye. A little smile made its way into his face slowly. 

"I see."

They both stood in silence for a while until Shigeo said, "Me too. I am grateful that you're my friend. Thank you, Teru."

Teruki smiled at that. Finally. "It's not a favour, but sure. You are always welcome to me."

Teruki brought his hand to Shigeo's cheek, it was warm "You should get some rest. We'll see each other again next time?"

Shigeo nodded.

Teruki released his hold and he missed the warmth immediately, but Shigeo had to rest and he had to go home. Teruki wished that they would never need to part, that the place they call home would be one and the same.  'No,'  Teruki thought,  'We'll see each other again soon enough.' .

"Good night, Teru."

"Night, Shige."

-

Something changed a little between them afterwards. Shigeo sometimes stiffened when Teruki touched him.

Teruki wondered if he couldn't do things like this anymore, but sometimes Shigeo would touch the back of his hand as if asking to be held, and when he did there would be a blush dusted on Shigeo's cheeks.

Teruki continued picking him up and meeting him after his class from time to time, but sometimes Shigeo declined. He rarely declined in the past 7 years he knew him. Teruki wondered if Shigeo was avoiding him, but then on the weekend sometimes Shigeo asked if he was free, and he would visit his apartment.

It's a little confusing, but Teruki can live with that.

—

Shigeo had always had a complicated relationship with his feelings.

He came to terms with most of them, as he grew and met new people, and understood more about himself and others, and the world around him.

But this feeling that he has for Teruki, he was convinced that, he never had anything like it.

It had been painful, but he had been happy too. There is anxiety, but also excitement. Staying close makes him warm in the heart but also dizzy in the head. He thought that the distance between them is too great that he misses him daily, but also too little when he find himself so nervous being around his friend.

It has been some time since he had to handle such an intense emotion, and whilst he was proud of how far he had come in handling his feelings, he thought that maybe, he still had a lot of things to learn after all.

Perhaps, as Master Reigen had said, it would be something that he could figure out together with his best friend.

—

"Teru,"

"Mm?"

They were hanging out at Teruki's apartment, Teruki playing Tetris 99 on his Switch, sitting on the floor and Shigeo was lying on the couch, watching Teruki play.

"How... how do you get over me?"

Teruki hard-dropped a square on top of the place he saved for a combo, but he didn't care, he turned to Shigeo immediately, "...What was that?"

Shigeo dropped his gaze to the floor, "Um, I asked how did you get over me?"

Teruki, gathering his calm, closed and put his Switch to sleep. He turned towards Shigeo who was lying on his couch, and said, "Why do you ask?"

Shigeo looked skittish—he always did when he was nervous, and he said, "I want to learn too. I want to... get over you."

Teruki wasn't sure if he heard things right, "...Excuse me?"

Shigeo didn't move from where he was but he bit his lip and Teruki knew he had a hard time saying whatever he wanted to say, yet he continued, "It had been so hard, I want to be close to you and touch you. I was happy when we did, but sometimes my insides ached, and sometimes it made me sad. But your hands are warm, and I often wanted to." Teruki cannot believe this, "I thought maybe I should not see you too often, then I wouldn't hurt very much. But then I'll miss you, and it hurts too."

"Shigeo..."

"I know that you used to want to court me, but now you just want to be friends and you got over your feelings, for me. I—I want to do that too. I want to keep being friends with you, but it's just—now it hurts. So I want to... I want to know. I want to get over it too."

Shigeo lifted his gaze slowly, his eyes looked so sad, "I don't know who else to ask."

Teru stood up from where he was sitting on the floor. He gestured for Shigeo to scoot over from the couch, so Shigeo made himself sit and let Teru sit next to him.

Shigeo looked at him in anticipation.

Teru said, "It wasn't true, what I said before."

"What do you mean?"

"When I said I get over you. It wasn't true."

Teruki held Shigeo's gaze on his. "I tried to, and I thought I did. But it wasn't true. I never got over you. Until now, I never got over you, Shigeo."

"But, but you said, you don't want to court anymore,"

"Yeah. That's right. Because I don't want to lose you. You... You said I'm a friend, and I don't want you to be with me because I asked. I'd rather stay by your side forever, even if it's as a friend."

"But I... I want it." Shigeo leaned his head forward, to where Teru's broad chest was. "I want you, to court."

"Yeah. I know that now." Teru opened his arms to embrace Shigeo. He put his head on top of his. "Please don't get over me."

"Un."

—

"Ah, um," Shigeo struggled to catch his breath, "Ah. Hah."

"I am so sorry, I got carried away."

"It's ok. It's just, it was my first time, and I—don't know what to do."

Teruki felt like he’s gonna explode from the confession. 

It was just a kiss.

And he had become so horny that it take all of his willpower to not strip Shigeo right there and then and pounced.

It didn’t help that he couldn’t seem to let go of his arm from around Shigeo, and he just wanted to keep feeling Shigeo’s warmth—his skin.

He needs—

Teruki took a deep breath. He slowly, with every ounce of self-discipline that he could muster, removed himself from Shigeo, whom he had pinned down on the couch.

Whose lips had been ravished so passionately by his own.

Teruki threw his gaze away from Shigeo before all of his resolves crumbled.

“Shige,”

“Nn?”

Teruki put his face on his palms, and said, “I think I should go,”

Shigeo dazedly looked up at him, and tilted his head in confusion, “But Teru, this is your apartment?”

Teruki groaned. He felt like he was going feral.

Literally.

“I need to go.”

Shigeo touched Teruki’s arm gently, and asked, “Why?”

Teruki still kept his gaze on the floor and said, “If this keeps going I don’t think I can—I don’t think I can control myself.”

Shigeo became silent, and Teruki could not see him as he stubbornly kept his gaze where it was, but he found that there was a gentle caress on his head, and then his cheek.

Teruki unconsciously followed the touch, and as he leaned on the palm on his cheek, their eyes met.

Shigeo leaned in slowly and captured Teruki’s lips with his own. 

A shy, gentle peck on the lips.

Oh.

Teruki was doomed.

He was so in love with this man.

Shigeo leaned back slowly and his smile was shy, keeping their gaze together, “I appreciate the thought... But you don’t have to... I am here too.”

There were no thoughts left on Teruki’s head but one thing, “Shigeo, I love you,”

A smile, “I love you too,”

—

"Ah—"Shigeo tugged Teruki's arm, "Again?"

Teruki smiled, "Ok," and leaned down again for a kiss.

It was innocent and sweet, even though they were now sticky with sweat and bodily fluids, in an embrace under the blanket with Teruki deep inside Shigeo.

A kiss amongst many they shared on their first time that day.

—

[After]

Teruki brought their hands to his pocket, "Warm now?"

"Mm-hmm"

They walked in silence once more, hands inside Teruki's jacket.

After that faithful day, where they finally get their mutual feelings sorted out and communicated in the open, their relationship just transitioned naturally.

There was nothing much that changed in their relationship, they are still each other's best friends, no one that knew them even remotely surprised that they finally bonded. Kageyama family welcomed Teruki's presence as their oldest son's mate almost immediately, like counting on it to happen.

There are little things that changed—they are now physically more intimate than ever before, sharing more kisses and persistent touches that sometimes would make Shigeo dizzy from the intensity, but nothing that is uncomfortable or unwelcome. 

But there are a lot of little things that stayed as well.

Like now.

“I am happy when we hold hands like this,” Shigeo said, “I love being close to you.”

Teruki knew that.

But every time Shigeo said it out loud, Teruki felt enchanted over and over again, and he couldn’t wait to show Shigeo all the ways they could be close together.

—

[Extra]

Teruki was mischievous.

Shigeo knew this.

So when he had requested Teruki a small favour in their now shared apartment, of course, Teruki would ask for a price.

 "You'll have to kiss me for that,"

Kiss.

"Was that enough?"

"I swear you're gonna be the death of me,"

Shigeo frowned, "I don't want that."

"Come here," Teruki motioned Shigeo to sit on his lap and hugged him in the waist when he did. "Once more,"

Kiss

"Again,"

Kiss

"Aga—"

"You're stalling, you said you'll do it if I kiss you."

"I will, one more."

Kiss.

—

"Shige, you have a cream on your face,"

Shigeo wiped his cheek, "Done?"

"No, here," Teru leaned down and licked the cream of his face, "Done." He licked his lips.

Shigeo was red, he said, "That’s cheating."

"What cheating?"

Shigeo shook his head, “From now on, licking cream on my face directly is not allowed.”

“Eh? Why?”

—

Shigeo was on a couch and Teruki flopped down to his side and put his head on Shigeo's lap.

Shigeo patted his cheek, "What is it?"

"I wanna be spoiled,"

"What do you want then?"

"Cuddle?"

"Here?"

"Wherever you want."

"Then bed."

Teruki grinned, "It's not just going to be cuddles when we're in bed,"

"Then you're not getting any because you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Shigeooo,"

—

‘Ah, that's enough for today.’  Teruki thought. They had been going at it right after dinner, and Teruki started to feel bad for getting Shigeo too worn out to walk properly the next day. 

However, just as he moved to pull out, he felt Shigeo squeeze the fabric on top of his chest, "More?"

“You little minx,” Teruki sighed, “You insatiable minx, you really are asking for more?”

Shigeo nodded hazily, squeezing Teruki’s middle with his thighs.

There’s a feral glint in Teruki’s eyes, “Then don’t mind if I do,”

—

Teruki's playing Switch, lying down on his couch, and Shigeo was lying down on his chest.

Teruki was concentrating on his game when he felt a light kiss under his chin, "Mm, what is it?"

"Nothing, just wanna kiss you."

Teruki raised an eyebrow at Shigeo, paused and closed the game, he straightened up his stance so he was half sitting and brought Shigeo with him as he sat up, "If you wanna kiss, do it properly."

"If we do it properly you'd want to do dirty things again."

"You don't like it when we do dirty?"

Shigeo's cheeks got red, "I do, but we just did it an hour ago."

Teruki grinned, "We can do it multiple times a day, that's not a problem, it's Saturday tomorrow."

“That’s not the problem,”

“Then what is?”

“...I would, I don’t want to get used to doing it so often...”

“Why?”

“I would want it all the time.”

“Shigeo, do you realize that saying that only makes me want to do it more?”

“Eh?”

—

Teruki kissed Shigeo full on the lips as he entangled the hands under Shigeo's knee. He slid it on Shigeo's side, and squeezed his buttocks, making Shigeo let out a soft moan.

"Ok."

Shigeo's hand that was perched on Teruki's neck slid down to his chest, "Mm."

"Again?"

A shake of the head, "A break? I am tired," A fresh blush on his cheeks, "you were a little rougher than usual." Shigeo whispered softly.

Teruki felt the blush he had on his cheeks, "Sorry, I was too excited."

"No, it's ok, I enjoyed it..."

Kiss.

"I'll be more gentle after this, would you like that?"

"Mm."

"How do you want it?"

Shigeo let his head fall on top of the pillow fully, "On my back, like this,"

"Ok,"

—

Shigeo's kiss was desperate and Teruki felt the fire in his belly burn.

"Take me,"

And Teruki did.

—

[End]