Chapter Text
“I know this question may end in my death, but-”
“Then don’t fucking ask it and find the Tesseract.” Natasha snapped at Tony as she stood glowering at everything in the lab.
“Is everything okay- or what’s wrong?” Bruce whispered to Tony as they created a program to search for the energy signature of the tesseract.
“You know she has super-hearing right?” Tony whispered back.
“She does?”
“She’s Capsicle 2.0.”
“Capsic- oh.”
“The earth’s geomagnetic field will interfere, coding to circumvent that-”
“Thank you for speaking English.”
Tony laughed through his nose. “You should come to my tower sometime since Stark weapons shut down, the top few floors have been converted into science labs.”
“Stark tower, in New York?”
“Yes.” Tony didn’t look away from the screen as he typed.
“I kind of...broke Harlem last time I was in New York.”
Tony glanced at Bruce, before finishing the coding and launching the programming and sending it to float by Natasha, then turned to him, fishing inconspicuously around the tabletop for a wire.
“Too bad. I can, however, promise a stress-free environment-” Tony poked Bruce with the wire, watching Bruce closely as he jumped. “Seriously, nothing-”
“Are you fucking insane?”
Tony turned away from Bruce as Steve came rushing in. “I thought I said you weren’t allowed in here- hey, do not come near-”
Steve got right up in Tony’s face, raising his hand to poke Tony hard in the chest, eyebrows furrowing as he tapped the arc reactor.
“It feels so great to see you confused. Now if you would leave, Capsicle, we’re working on stuff you wouldn’t-”
“Stark, shut up-” Steve’s jaw clenched, and Tony tilted his head at him and raised an eyebrow before walking away.
“Girls, you’re both pretty.” Natasha interrupted, smirking at her joke before going back to the screen in front of her.
“What is your fucking problem with me?” Steve demanded, following Tony.
“I never knew Captain America swore so flue-”
“Stark, shut up. Seriously. Steve, you should probably leave.” Natasha interrupted again, sighing as they continued. “Bruce, where’s Thor?”
“He’s here, Widow. I need you to go interrogate Loki.” Fury came in, and Steve took a step away from Tony.
“This world needs to take a breather-” Natasha grumbled, jumping off the counter she was sitting on and flicking the screen to Bruce as it continued to search, brushing past Fury as he glared at Tony.
“Woah there, you’re the one expecting me to work with this idiot-” Tony held up his hands defensively.
“Why is he on the team, he isn’t taking anything seriously and is more of a hazard than a benefit-” Steve asked, arms crossed as his shield lay on top of the table by Loki’s scepter.
“You Midgardians are so petty-” Thor laughed before he looked down on Tony. “-And tiny.”
“Could all of you pretend to be able to get along until we stop Loki’s endgame?” Fury shouted at the two of them, ignoring Thor.
“Let me just forget the sixteen years before I went to college, give me a moment-” Tony joked darkly, crossing his arms too after elbowing Thor, which was like elbowing a brick wall, ow-
Steve turned to him again, reaching for his shield. “The world could fucking end and you’re holding some strange vendetta against me, you fu-”
“Captain.” Fury interrupted him, and Steve stopped. “He’s here because he is smart-”
“Smart? I am one of the three smartest-”
“-and because he’s Iron Man, I apologize for not being able to talk sense into him.” Fury finished sarcastically, cutting over Tony.
“You don’t joke about death-”
Tony shrugged before tapping the arc reactor. “Been there, done that. Mildly exciting.”
“Stark, shut up or find a filter, you’re worsening the situation-” Fury roared as Steve gave Tony a death glare.
“Can you three move out into the hallway-” Bruce tried to ask as they continued yelling.
Steve was shouting at Tony and Fury was yelling at both of them, Bruce raising his voice to ask again when Natasha tried to come through the comms. Thor was starting to try to intervene to mitigate the situation when Bruce roared gutterly as he started to change.
“Is our friend supposed to be turning green-” Thor started, pulling Tony away bodily away from Fury and Steve to stop their argument as the Hulk appeared.
“Shit.” Fury looked up at the Hulk.
“Let me get my armor-” Tony ran out as Steve adjusted his grip on his shield and Fury called for back-up through the comms. A hole appeared in the wall as Thor called Mjolnir to him.
The Hulk looked at the three of them before roaring loudly and crashing through the nearest wall.
“Shit.”