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Thomas heard the click of the bathroom door opening as he sat at the vanity table in his bedroom meticulously making sure that his hair was parted and falling correctly, even to go to sleep Thomas didn’t dare risk waking up to anything being more out of place than it had to be.

Alexander steps out of the bathroom eyes scanning the floor, his hair is damp from being washed in Thomas’s lavish basin, his clothes sticking slightly to his damp skin. His legs are still a bit wobbly as he moves across the floor, Thomas had moved his shoes to the mahogany desk just beside himself and Alexander leans on it heavily as he bends to retrieve his stockings.

“Was I adequate enough Mr. Secretary?” Alexander asks sarcastically. Thomas puts down his hair brush and leans his head on his hand as he looks at the younger treasurer. Just a few hours ago Thomas had opened his front door to discover him on his front stoop, messenger back hanging loosely from his shoulder and all too familiar scowl on his face, yet the look in his eyes had been pleading.

Alexander had needed his help. Alexander wanted the banks, he wanted the states debts to be paid and only a compromise with James and Thomas would guarantee him that. Alexander had gone to James first, he’d known James longer than he had Thomas but James for all his talk and intelligence was often to fall in step with whatever Thomas wanted. He had always been the louder, more imposing of the two.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Thomas smirks. “The fate of your little debt plan does fall on whether or not you did a good enough job.”

Alexander had just finished slipping on his second shoe, his eyes falling onto Thomas’s bed, crammed between two walls, separating his office from what was unofficially called his bedroom. When Thomas had first brought him in here Alexander didn’t know whether to be impressed by the man’s dedication to his work, or annoyed because for all the money Jefferson had of course he’d do some ridiculous elitist design, the same kind of laziness that had prompted him to bring that massive wheeled chair back with him from France.

“Oh you’re looking for praise aren’t you?” Thomas stands up. “You want me to tell you how good you were?”

Alexander had basically begged Thomas for his help, offering anything in exchange to be heard out. He promised a compromise that would make everyone happy, but Thomas wasn’t stupid enough to forget that for all his showboating, all his bristling and biting words and lofty intelligence that Alexander now needed something from him. That while he claimed he’d get to the top with no help and no influence he needed Thomas to make one of his dreams come true.

Thomas had intended to use this to his advantage.

While in France he was no stranger to the company of men, many nights found him in upstate houses sitting rooms sipping wine and sampling bread and cheese before the streetlights came on and everyone ushered themselves into smaller parlors where more debauched things went on.

Thomas would never forget his first time at Lafayette’s french home, Lafayette happily married to his wife Adrienne and yet when a servant boy let him into his private chambers he had a skinny blonde man draped across his lap feeding him grapes.

This was common in France he was soon to find, and after a few reserved first nights Thomas easily slipped in with the rest of the elite, puffing on an expensive cigar and groping at the waist of whatever male harlot slid his way under his arm begging for sweet words and kisses.

But Alexander was no harlot. Thomas took the two steps over to the treasurer who craned his neck to look up at him as Thomas brushed a thumb under his bottom lip. He was no common whore, and yet when his sweet tantalizing lips had breathed out that he would do anything how could Thomas not see if he truly meant it?

“Well?” Thomas drawled voice , sticky sweet.

“Was I good?” Alexander asks. The pleading little look is back in his eyes, his tongue darts out to wet his lips, waiting for Thomas’s answer. Thomas wanted to kiss him again, he’d been so responsive, so engaged.

“You did what I asked of you.” He said. What emotion can he show him now? They were meant to be the bitter enemies everyone and they themselves were used to. Thomas wished he didn’t know what persuaded him to slip the bag from Alexander’s shoulders, to press him up against the door when it was closed with a knee between his legs and his lips at the younger man’s ear asking him if he really meant anything.

“But was I good?” Alexander whispers, Thomas’s fingers entangling in the hairs at the base of his neck remembering how they’d been wrapped around his throat only a half hour prior, how hard the blooming red marks on his collarbone were going to be to hide from his wife, how when he turned his head and looked just behind Jefferson he could see the tin of oil on the vanity table that Thomas had coated his cock in before-

“That’s not the point.”

“What's the point if I wasn’t good?”

Thomas had broken something between them, some invisible glass wall that could never go back up, not after tonight, not after his lust, he wanted to call it lust, he couldn’t call it anything else, didn’t want to think of the implications of calling it anything else. His lust had fractured it and Alexander’s eager willingness had made it come crumbling down.

“You were good.” Maybe too good, because Alexander was dressed to leave and go home and with him looking up at Thomas still with those big pleading eyes, and now that Thomas knew what he smelled like he wasn’t sure he wanted him to.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Thomas passes by Alexander and Aaron Burr the next day in the hall and while Alexander’s face turns a soft becoming shade of red Thomas only smirks and nods at the two men as he and James pass by. His friend doesn’t say anything until they round the corner.

“So how’d he do it?”

“Hmm?” Thomas asks.

“How’d he convince you to give it up, I know I told him to ask you but that's only because I was sure you’d say no.”

Thomas swallows heavily, partly in guilt for what he’d done and partly in guilt for lying to his oldest friend. “We compromised.” He finally says. “Hamilton is very….convincing.”

Thomas wakes one morning freezing cold. The dim light peeking in through his curtains let him know that it is too early to start getting ready for work and so he rolls over, searching for his covers, and finds them all piled on top of Alexander Hamilton. The man smells of one of Thomas’s expensive wines, Thomas tugged at the pile and Alexander groaned.

“I’m cold.” The secretary snapped, Alexander slid closer as Thomas was able to cover himself until he was able to wrap his arms around Thomas, his naked chest pressing against Thomas’s own.

Thomas allows him to settle down until he’s comfortable before arranging himself around him. Ignoring the protesting in the small of his back as he stretched. Last night had been one of numerous meetings between the two. Since that night they’d spent in Thomas’s bed three years prior things between the two colleagues had been different to say the least.

Thomas had wanted to bury the memories of that night and any further mention of it forever, it had been a one time dalliance, something to curb the cravings he’d had to let go off when he left Paris and returned to his darling yet plain wife. And Alexander was exciting, searing lips and biting words and luscious thighs for Thomas to bury his face into and hair much softer than his exterior appearance should allow it to be.

They’d been dancing around each other since then, he wasn’t sure what kind of normal you could go back to after being so intimate with someone you were meant to hate, but whatever it was they’d found it, some kind of level ground to stand on where they attempted to be civil, yet not so civil as for others to assume they’d gone soft on each other.

The three years leading up to last night had been nothing short of tortuous. For Thomas found that now that he’d gotten a taste of Hamilton he wanted to continue to devour him and everything about him made him all the more mouthwatering and eventually they couldn’t hold the space between them any longer.

It was easy for Alexander over those years to lie to his wife about working late, not as easy as Thomas, for he’d always been one to come to dinner on time, to retreat to bed when asked. But during summers when their wives went their separate ways to visit family, and on nights when they had one of their offices to themselves, they thoroughly enjoyed each others company where no one could see, where no one could tell. And had successfully kept the secrets of their flesh between only them.

Last night had been a lapse in both of their controls, a dinner with James, with their wives, to celebrate the comradery the three of them were slowly finding, turned into James and Dolly retiring early on account of James coughing, turning into Eliza leaving shortly after, worried about their one year old John, and Martha insisting she had to see the kids which Thomas felt was a jab at him seeing as how after twenty years of marriage they had none.

And with them alone in the house one thing had led into another.

“Is it morning?” Alexander mumbled against his skin after a moment, lifting his head.

“It is.” Thomas answered, keeping an arm firmly over him.

“I should go. Our wives may not think anything of it but I'm sure there will be some kind of question if someone sees me leaving your house so early in the morning.”

“Or we could stay in a little longer.” Thomas slipped his hand lower, hooking one of Alexander’s legs around his waist. “You could take one of my carriages out, the staff won’t say a word.”

“Someone has to be the voice of reason.”

Thomas let Alexander sit up, watched him comb the hair out of his eyes and yawn. “I’m still not used to sleeping in.”

“The bags under your eyes tell me everything I need to know.”

Alexander merely scoffs but he doesn’t get out of bed yet, he looks at the far wall, Thomas can see the gears in his head turning.

“What is it?” The virginian asks.

“We said this wasn’t going to become a regular thing.”

Each time as they were buttoning their waistcoats and cleaning up the remains of their lovemaking one or the other always swore it was going to be the last time. They had to think about their careers that could be ruined if they were found out. Their wives, their children. But no matter how many times they promised to quit each other, they ended up right back in each other's arms days later.

“I think we’re well past that point.” Thomas answered.

Alexander smiles softly. “I blame you for bewitching me.”

Thomas pulled himself across the bed and sat upright to press himself against Alexander’s back wrapping an arm around his waist.

“And yet it was you who came to me that night.”

Alexander leans back into the embrace. “Your wife will be coming home soon.” He said. “And I doubt she’d like finding us like this.”

“Let her.” THomas leaned back trying to bring Alexander back with him into his embrace. “Then all this can be ours.”

“A nice thought Mr. Secretary, but this world we live in is no place for dreamers.”

He offered Thomas one final kiss before he was able to pull himself out of the bed and to the clothes he’d discarded the night before. Thomas watched him dress knowing he would soon need to do the same but he watched the treasurer for a moment longer as he did up the buckles on his shoes and used one of Thomas’s brushes to put some decency back into his hair, he turned to Thomas as he was pulling on his overcoat, his gold rimmed glasses perched on the edge of his nose as he smiled.

“Am i right in assuming that last night hasn’t distracted you from the terrible beating you will endure in the cabinet this afternoon?”

Smug bastard. Thomas smiled right back. “You are correct.”

Alexander had never been intimidated by Thomas. The virginian towered over most in the cabinet and he knew he used it to his advantage to dominate the room. But though Thomas was at least a good foot taller Alexander’s attitude more than made up for the height difference.

Thomas paced the room now, he took up space, his eyes never left Alexander as he spoke watching as he stood with arms crossed, no emotion on his face yet the slight twitches of his eyes told him when the treasurer was displeased or even amused with something he had said.

“Smells like new money, dresses like fake royalty”

He watches Alexander roll his eyes and adjust the collar of his jacket. As Jefferson finally finishes and nods his head to Washington. He walks backwards towards James keeping his eyes on Alexander as Washington gives him the floor to say his piece. Watches how he tongues his cheek for a moment his eyes flitting to the crowd for a moment before they are laser focused on Thomas again.

Alexander had always been the overtly emotional one and that is evident now as he screams in Thomas’s face, yet he stays firmly where he is as he spits forth his barrage and Thomas damn himself knows he doesn’t have Alexander’s poker face and he knows his expression oozes displeasure at the words.

“Should we honor our treaty king Louis’s head? Do whatever you want, I'm dead!”

Washington stops him and before Thomas can say anything else he’s patting Alexander on the shoulder with a smile on his face.

“Mr. President!” Thomas begins to protest but George holds his hand up.

“We’re too fragile to start another fight.”

“But sir-” Despite how demeaning it is he pleads with him for a moment as the room steadily empties, he sees Aaron Burr shoot a look at Alexander before departing.

“Jefferson enough.” Washington finally says. He looks over his shoulder. “Hamilton? Draft a statement of neutrality.”

And without another word he too gathers his things and is gone.

Thomas stands dumbstruck for a moment conscious of the empty room, conscious that Alexander won’t look at him as he gathers his things preparing to leave.

“And what about Lafayette?”

Alexander straightens up but doesn’t turn around. “What?”
“Do you regret any of it? You accumulate debt, you accumulate power and yet you forget them when they need us most?”

“Lafayette will be fine.” Alexander finally turned. “Angelica and her husband are advocating for him as we speak. And he’s smart, i’ve known him longer than you have.”

“Alexander-”

“If we try to fight in every revolution in the world we’ll never stop. Where do we draw the line?”

“You’re forgetting yourself.”

“Am I?” Alexander crossed his arms. “I didn’t know my intelligence was that much of a threat to you.”

“Intelligence.” Thomas scoffed with a shake of his head. “You forget who got you what you wanted, who continues to humor you and your outlandish ideas, the realest shred of power you’ve ever had in this industry.” Thomas approached him now. “You know someone outta remind you.”

“What?” Alexander snapped as Thomas pushed up against him, toe to toe with Jefferson’s head looming above him.

“You are nothing without me.” He ends the sentence by wrapping an arm around Alexander’s back and pulling him closer. Alexander lets out one of his tantalizing little gasps as he looks at Thomas’s eyes and then his mouth.

Thomas leans down.

“Hamilton!”

They are apart in an instant as Alexander stumbles for his bag and Thomas adjusts his jacket.

“Daddy’s calling.” He sneers after the treasurer hurrying out the opposite door towards the sound of Washington’s voice.

Thomas himself opens the left door to step out into the hall and almost runs directly into Aaron Burr.

“Oh Burr.” He clears his throat. “What are you still doing here?”

Burr looks as though he has just seen a ghost, his eyes wide his mouth opens and closes wordlessly a few times as his gaze darts from the door to Jefferson and back again.

“Burr?”

“I saw you.” The man whispers.

Jefferson cocks his head. “You saw me?”

Burr’s voice shakes as he answers. “You and Alexander. I saw you.”

Thomas’s mouth goes dry. He swallows heavily. “Saw us?” He feigns ignorance.

“Don’t act like I’m dumb!” Burr snaps and Thomas straightens his back displeased with the tone. He and Burr had only spoken a handful of times about work related things, and though he and Alexander seemed to have a complicated history it didn’t make him feel any more familiar towards the man. But as he talks Thomas realizes the threat he possesses, the threat of discovery if Burr is to tell anyone about what he saw.

And so instead of anger, Jefferson laughs.

“Burr I don’t believe this!”

Burr looks dumbfounded, fumbling for words. “What?”

“You saw us arguing after a meeting?” He crosses his arms casually hoping to appear nonchalant.

“No! Well yes but but you held him!”

Jefferson sighs, still smiling. “Burr you must be mistaken.”

“I know what I saw!”

And Jefferson has the lie ready to slide right off his tongue, something trivial about Alexander’s height. Thought he doubted he would believe such an asinine excuse he’s hoping Burr will feel embarrassed and chalk it up to jealousy of Alexander considering their rivalry.

“I apologize then.”

And Jefferson forgives him with another smile and the rapid beating of his own anxious heart.

“We have to be more careful at work.” Thomas tells Alexander standing in his office later that same day.”

“Oh?” Alexander doesn’t look up from the papers on his desk.

“Burr saw us in the cabinet room.”

Alexander’s head shot up.

“However.” Thomas calmed him. “I convinced him he had only misunderstood what he saw. But we cannot risk something like that happening again.”

“Heard and understood.” Alexander’s eyes returned to his paper.

Thomas stood there for a moment longer.

“Martha leaves tonight to visit her mother upstate. I suspect she’ll be gone all summer, and seeing as how Eliza has taken the children-”

“I can’t.” Alexander cuts him off. “I’m working late again tonight, I need to focus.”

“Right.” Thomas nods. Ever since Alexander had had his house to himself he’d been postponing a summer full of what should have been just the two of them at Thomas’s estate, always claiming he was using his new peace and quiet to focus on work. And though Thomas welcomed him in the daytime it didn’t hold the same kind of intimacy that falling asleep and waking up beside each other did. He turned away, not letting his embarrassment show. “Another time then.”

Thomas knew it was his own folly that kept his stupid fragile heart beating for one man, he’d always been a romantic. He often wondered, despite their history, if there was also enough room in Alexander’s heart for him. Although to Thomas’s defense maybe it was simply the after effects of their comfortable lust that had him feeling such a way. After all they were both happily married and Thomas just simply couldn’t be in love with Hamilton. No matter what his heart said.

Thomas becoming vice-president of the United States wasn’t an ideal situation in Alexander’s eyes the virginian knew that much. Even if he would warm to the idea in the coming years in the moment he was bristling at the inauguration as John Addams placed his hand on a Bible and Thomas stood smiling beside him nodding his head towards Hamilton and Burr who were standing side by side in the crowd.

After the ceremony Alexander had retreated to his office and Thomas, still riding the high and wanting to gloat a little bit more, followed him.

“Mr. Vice President please-”

“Oh that definitely has a certain ring to it.” Thomas grinned, perching himself on the edge of Alexander’s desk before the man could step behind it. Alexander stood in front of him and did not look amused.

“I hope that this ego trip isn’t going to interrupt the actual work that i’m trying to do?”

“Now Alexander, what do you have to worry about? The Revenue Marine, The New York Post? You’re continuing to make quite a name for yourself.”

“Addams has never liked me.”

“Addams will be out come next election. I don’t intend to be an assistant for long, but until then-”

He stood approaching Alexander with hands gripping the collar of his jacket forcing Alexander on his toes as their noses touched.

“Washington can’t help you now, no more Mr. Nice president.”

Alexander swallowed.

“You should come visit Monticello again sometime.” Thomas laments setting him down but not releasing him. Despite their coming apart over the course of their marriage he missed the companionship Martha had offered, and since her death the property had become quite lonely. “Visit like you used to.”

Alexander smiled. “You sound like my wife sometimes.”

Thomas rolled his eyes and kissed him.

“I will.” Alexander promised, Alexander always promised. Whether those promises were kept were often up in the air. Thomas missed him spending the night, with his things among Thomas’s things like they belonged there, like he was supposed to be there. It was a dangerous longing but it was longing nonetheless.

Years later having a discussion with James Madison in his office Thomas hears a knock at his door.

“Come in!” He calls out and Aaron Burr enters clutching his bag with a rather excited smile on his face.

“Oh good I can speak to both of you at once!” He shuts the door behind him.

The years had swept any memory of Burr’s question of an affair between him and Hamilton under the rug but Jefferson still smiled tightly. Burr was a reserved sort of fellow and barging in like this in such a state was certainly unlike him.

“Burr. What can I do for you?”

“I was doing a bit of investigating to dig up some dirt on Hamilton.”

Thomas rested his chin in his hand and waited as Burr rifled through his bag. Burr was once again taking their petty rivalry a bit too far. Thomas had known Alexander this long and had come to find him a bit predictable and he was certain whatever Burr was about to tell them wasn’t anything worth the fuss.

He laid a stack of check stubs on Thomas’s desk.

Jefferson thumbed through the stack quickly, each one signed in Alexander’s signature. James picked up a few.

“James Reynolds?”

“Some of these go way back to 1791.” Thomas noticed, he also noticed the amount, about a third of Alexander’s salary, was being paid to this man. But for what?

“Gentlemen.” Burr folded his arms behind his back and smiled. “I do believe Alexander has been embezzling our government funds.”

“But what for? None of these say.” Jefferson was suddenly hit with a wave of unease. Not his Alexander, Alexander loved this job more than anything, surely he wouldn’t do something so stupid? Would he pay something of this amount out of his own pocket with a family to feed?

“Would he really be so stupid?” James asks.

Jefferson pushed back his chair. “Only one way to find out.”

Alex is sitting at his desk when Thomas opens the door, the treasurer smiles brightly when he sees Thomas enter the room. “Mr. Vice President!”

His face falls when he notices Madison and Burr behind him.

“What is this?”

Thomas looks to the other two men. James hands him the documents.

“We have these check stubs from separate accounts.”

“Adding up into the thousands.” Madison adds.

“To James Reynolds, back in 1791-”

Alexander leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “And?”

“You are uniquely situated by virtue of your position.”

“Though.” Thomas chuckles darkly. “If its true i wouldn’t call this virtuous.”

“What are you saying?” Alexander demands.

“Have you been embezzling our government funds?” Burr asks.

Alexander looks shocked, the shock quickly turns into disgust as he looks from Burr to Madison and then to….guilt? As his eyes fall on Thomas.

“I have not!” He says only to Thomas.

“Then explain yourself.” Burr slaps the papers down in front of Alexander. “Explain these.”

Alexander swallows heavily, he looks at Thomas still, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Explain these.” Thomas repeats. He’s sure there's a reasonable explanation, not his Alexander, never.

Alexander looks away, his voice is quiet.

“You don’t even know what you’re asking me to confess.”

Burr is smug. “So you admit-”

“No!” Alexander closes his eyes, inhales sharply and sighs deeply. “I can prove that i never broke the law, i can prove it.” He opens his eyes. “But you have to swear yourselves to secrecy.”

Madison and Burr look at each other and Madison turns to Thomas but he’s focused on Alexander.

“Swear it.” Alexander says again. “That you will never tell another soul what you saw.”

He waits for another moment, his eyes shifting to Thomas. The air in the room is uncomfortable and stifling.

“Well?”

“We swear.” Thomas finally says.

Alexander stands up and opens a drawer at the bottom of his desk with a key he pulls out of his pocket. He extracts a single sheet of paper that he hands to Burr and a stack of other papers that he places on the desk.

Burr is practically vibrating with excitement as he unfolds the paper. A letter, Jefferson notes. And begins reading.

“Dear Sir-”

As he reads Alexander stands still behind his desk, wringing his hands. Despite the fact that he claimed this would prove his innocence he still looks guilty, like he has done something wrong, he won’t look at Thomas and the vice president's brow creases in worry as Burr reads. It feels like a pit is forming in his stomach and he is no longer sure he wants to know what Hamilton has done.

“You see that was my wife who you decided to-”

“WHAT!?”

Thomas’s head turns sharply to Burr as he reads the line wanting to snatch the paper from him, and rip it to shreds wants to kick him out of the room and down the hall for even suggesting they come here in the first place.

“She courted me!” Alexander exclaims, quick to explain, to defend himself. Pleading with Thomas as the Virginian turned back to him, he can feel his expression crumbling and he stands up straight. Cold. He crosses his arms as Alexander reaches for him, forgetting himself for a moment Alexander steps back.

“She had me in a corner and they extorted me!”
Thomas is unmoved, listening though trying to pretend like he isn’t. Nothing Alexander is saying right now could change anything, could change what he’d done, what he’d broken.

“I can’t i’m working late again tonight”

Lies that he’d swallowed without question, oh how they burned in his throat now.

Alexander smooths back his hair, walks toward the desk, hands shaking as he reaches for the stack he’d put down handing it to James.

“As you can see I kept a record of every check in my checking history. You can overview them all, I never spent a cent that wasn’t mine.”

He looks at Thomas again. “I have done nothing to provoke legal action.”

The room is silent for a moment. Burr has refolded the letter, James looks uncomfortable and Thomas continues to stand stock still, his expression unreadable, his lips grimaced.

“My god.” He finally says. He reaches for the papers in Madison’s hand and flings them back onto the desk.

“Let's go.” James puts a hand on Thomas’s shoulder. Thomas allows James to turn them towards the door. He just has to make it back to his office.

“So?” Alexander calls after them. Burr exits the room, Thomas motions James ahead of him and turns around to face the treasurer.

Alexander’s eyes are misty like he’s about to start crying. Thomas wants to close the both of them in there and listen to him talk his way back into Thomas’s arms.But he can’t, Alexander had said it best. The world they lived in had no place for dreamers.

“Thomas.” Alexander pleads.

“The people won’t know what we know.”

He kept to himself for a few months after that. There was no more inviting Alexander over for dinner, to spend the night when Eliza and the kids were away, no after work rendezvous in one of their offices, no amount of shared intimacy between them. Thomas remained distant, he kept space between them lest he find himself swept up again in a way he couldn’t control that would only leave him heartbroken again.

It was partially his own fault he knew that. They both were already having an affair with each other after all, cheating on their wives and now with poor Martha dead he was asking Alexander to continue the cycle. Maybe he was a bit of a hypocrite, he’d never considered the consequences of his actions before now, he’d been too wrapped up in how he and Alexander found themselves as outlandish as it was even if towards the end of their marriage Martha had made it known she too was seeing other men. It was exciting at first, a thrill, a lust to be satiated and then it was routine, comforting and warm and familiar and then before he knew it he couldn’t imagine a life without him there with him. Thomas hadn’t minded sharing with Eliza, the same way that Alex hadn’t minded Martha, after all Eliza had married him first, they had children. What they were doing to their wives hadn’t been morally right at all but Thomas was too blinded by heartache at the moment to care.

Maria Reynolds. Who was she? Had she offered something that Thomas had been unable to? Promised Alexander things Thomas couldn’t survive. Was she…..simply better in bed than he was? Thomas knew he wasn’t necessarily pretty in the way a woman could be, did Alexander find her nicer to look at, find her more interesting? More fulfilling? Had Thomas lost his newness?

So many what if’s had plagued him over the time that he and Alexander had spent apart. He found himself imagining this Maria Reynolds over and over again, picturing her in his head, she got more and more beautiful each time he thought of her only stirring the rumbling jealousy in his gut.

Alexander had come to him a few days after he’d been confronted by the three men. He still had his key to Thomas’s front door, had let himself up the stairs and into Thomas’s bedroom where the Vice President had been doing a bit of reading before bed. He looked up, taking off his reading glasses to focus on the man standing in his doorway.

He wanted to order him out, he wanted to kiss him.

“What are you doing here?” Thomas asked.

“I wanted to explain myself.”

Thomas closed his book. “Can you?”

“She had nowhere else to go.” Alexander came closer to him, to look him more clearly in the eyes. “She needed my help, told me about her husband, he wasn’t treating her right, she didn’t know what to do. I gave her some money, I offered to set her up with a loan so she could get some stability, I walked her home and-” He stops, tears filling his eyes.

“And?” Thomas demanded.

“And I couldn’t say no.”

Thomas sniffed, turning his head away and Alexander scrambled to his side, pressing his knees into the edge of the bed.

“Thomas please I’m begging for your forgiveness I…I made a mistake, I-”

“You lied to me. You, you let me go on believing you, it went on for years and you hid it from me. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”

Alexander’s face twisted from pain to anger.

“Oh hypocrisy now huh? What have we been doing to our wives for the past 11 years? Maybe your moral compass came back when Martha died-”

“Moral compass?!” Thomas threw back the covers and Alexander stepped back as he stood out of bed. “You cheated on your wife not only with me but with another woman, you’ve been paying to have sex with another woman. You know as well as I do that mine and Martha’s marriage was made purely for convenience, say what you will about our morals but me and Martha both wanted different things, she….she knew about us towards the end, I wonder now if she’d always known but you!” He stabbed his finger at Alexander. “Have no right to lecture me about my moral compass.”

“I-” For the first time since Thomas had known him Alexander Hamilton was at a loss for words. “So you think you’re above me simply because your wife approved of our affair? You can’t stand here and pretend that you’re the righteous one when you knowingly got involved with a married man!”

“Well if you can say that you couldn’t say no then so can I!”

“Oh really?” Alexander sounded sarcastic.

“Yes I-” Thomas dropped his arms and sighed. “I haven’t been an honorable man. I cheated on Martha in Paris and I convinced myself it was fine because I told her she could seek the company of other men while I was gone, I never loved her, she was a wonderful woman and I’m glad she was in my life and I miss her everyday because she’s left me in this big empty house but we didn’t love each other, not really I just-”

“You’re a Mary, Thomas, you can say it. If anyone would know it, it would be me.”

Thomas looked haggard. “You were just supposed to be exciting and new and and fun. This wasn’t supposed to happen, I wasn’t supposed to…to feel for you the way I do. Maybe that's my fault but somehow you just…you came in with your words and your eyes and your hands and your hair and-” And he knew he was babbling but he couldn’t stop the words as they flooded out.

“And each time I had you I didn’t want to let go of you and I always wanted to see you, to be near you, to know you like I’ve never known anyone.”

Alexander had been standing still and silent as Thomas had talked. Thomas closed his mouth knowing there was more he could say but not knowing if he should. He was scared of the silence. Scared of Alexander’s eyes full of unshed tears.

“Say something.” He pleaded.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh.”

“I think I should go home now.”

And he turned towards the door walking out, leaving Thomas here when he’d just been so vulnerable and open.

“I helped you keep your job!” Thomas yelled after him. But Alexander didn’t stop. Angry again Thomas picked up his slippers and followed after him.

“I vouched to Addams for you don’t you remember!?” He screamed, throwing one of the shoes at him as he descended the stairs.

“I gave you everything!” The other shoe goes hurling over the banister as Alexander reaches the door and opens it slipping outside without another word.

Alexander could still hear screaming as he descended the front steps, tears rolling unabashed down his face.

Two days later when one of Thomas’s staff brings him the mail they also plop a rather thick book down next to his breakfast plate as well.

“What's this?” He asked, putting down his fork.

“Came with the post sir.” The blonde woman explained. “Might be a special addition.”

Thomas flips through the first page.

The Reynolds Pamphlet is printed with newspaper ink bold and clear as day though even with the copy machine Thomas could read Alexander’s writing anywhere.

“Mr. Addams have you read this?” Thomas gleefully paraded into his office with the pamphlet held high, numerous men around the rotund table. Addams turned his head, Madison was already there and grinning widely with his own copy.

“Read what?”

More whispers were heard as Thomas slapped it on the table. “Alexander Hamilton had a torrid affair.”

“What?”

“No!”

“Hamilton!?”

Madison cackled. “And he wrote it down right here!”

Burr had stepped into the building as was just about to head into his office when he noticed Jefferson across the room with a group of senators all shouting, all laughing.

“The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds for purposes of improper speculation. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife for a considerable time with his knowing consent!”

“No!”

Hamilton had stepped into the cabinet room hoping to converse with a few of the delegates that morning but there was a much larger crowd than usual all around Jefferson seated on a table reading dramatically from-

“I had frequent meetings with her, most of them at my own house.”

“At his own house?”

“Despicable”

“Deplorable!”

He elbowed through the crowd and Thomas was the one to see him, grinning wickedly not a hint of warmth in his gaze as he continued.

“Mrs. Hamilton with our children being absent on a visit to her father.”

“No.”

“His poor wife.”

Disapproving eyes were all around him as he looked at Thomas in shock.

Thomas laughed obnoxiously, kicking his feet before tossing the pamphlet at Hamilton. “I have never before seen someone ruin their own life.” And Thomas felt powerful watching Hamilton drop the papers to the floor, looking as dejected as Thomas had looked that night as he stares at the men around them and then at Thomas before he retreats back into the crowd and out the door, only Thomas does not chase him this time. Thomas was on top of the world, all heartache from that night ebbed away with his newfound sense of glory of victory of having the upper hand. He was not undone by his feelings, he was not broken by a man who was not even his.

He felt no guilt for his actions that day. After all Alexander had publicly published copies of the damn thing for everyone to read, Thomas really hadn’t done anything wrong besides gloating about it for a bit. And after all there was nothing that Alexander could say about him that wouldn’t also further incriminate himself, not that anyone would believe him anyway.

Thomas felt a lonely pang that night as he climbed into bed. Alexander had apologized, if Thomas was a weaker man he could have accepted it as so, he could have welcomed him back the way he so desperately wanted to, they might have shared a bed that night, they might be sharing a bed tonight as well. He could have been content to know that there were still nights when Alexander was still coming back into his arms. He could have been content with what he had.

He wondered if he was a hypocrite, if he really did even have a right to be upset. He wondered how Eliza would react if she had ever found out about the two men’s dalliances.

Alexander Hamilton filed to divorce Elizabeth Schyluer that next morning. Only men could petition, and only in cases of adultery and Eliza and given him such an earful the night before, creating a bonfire of all the letters he had written to her while in the war, might have beat him across the yard were it not for their children. But she had ordered they go to the courthouse in the morning, she wanted nothing to do with him.

Before the month was up they were no longer married, Alexander no longer had a place to call home and he spent every night in his office. The high spirits of his political enemies soared at his fall from grace.

And then Alexander’s eldest son was killed in a duel.

It had been a public duel, many had seen. The news spread like wildfire, newspapers had picked up on the tragedy. The story reached the capitol building over the next few days, with the sunday post came the obituaries. Thomas hadn’t stayed at his home long enough that morning to receive the post when it first came and stayed dumb to the news until he entered the Capitol building.

Hamilton was just exiting Addam’s office. His hair was a mess, the dark circles under his eyes made him look almost corpselike. He wrapped his coat a little tighter around himself and without noticing Thomas he strode back down the hall towards his office.

“I pity the poor man.” He heard Oliver Wolcott say.

“Pity?” Thomas wrinkled his nose.

The man nodded. “Yes, his son was killed just a few days ago, in a duel. Defending his father’s honor.”

“It can’t be true.”

The man unfolded the post from the pocket of his coat and handed it to Thomas who snatched it immediately and flipped to the obituaries.

“Funerals set to be this coming Sunday, Hamilton’s never been very religious, wonder if he’ll even be allowed in.”

Thomas looked in disbelief at the name Philip Hamilton in the paper and then down the hall where Hamilton had retreated. Alexander had adored Philip. His first child, his pride and joy. Though Thomas had always had his reservations about children, hence why he and Martha had never had any. Well that and one other reason. He loved the way Alexander talked about his own brood. He had seven of them now and his eyes always lit up when Thomas asked how they were doing. Poor Philip had only been nineteen, he’d had his whole life ahead of him, last Alexander had said he was studying law at Columbia hoping to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Thomas clutched the paper tightly as he stepped around the men and tramped down the hall. He hesitate outside Alexander’s door for only a moment before he knocked, opening it without waiting for an answer Alexander was wiping at his eyes as Thomas stepped in, smoothing his unkempt hair away from his face.

“Mr. Vice President.” He sniffed. “What can I do for you sir?”

Thomas held up the newspaper. “I’m so sorry.”
And Alexander broke down into a fit of sobbing. Ignoring everything that he had told himself over these months of trying to move on Thomas rounded the desk, letting the paper fall to the floor as Alexander threw himself into Thomas’s arms with a hiccuping sob. Thomas stood there stroking his hair soothingly while Alexander ruined the collar of his jacket with his tears. No other words were spoken, no other words needed to be spoken.

Thomas discretely checked on him throughout the day making sure he was functioning alright and able to hold himself together, they didn’t speak. Thomas didn’t want to, there was nothing he could say that could erase the pain of this loss. A loss he could not possibly understand.

Towards the end of the day Thomas stopped in one last time before finishing up for the day, Alexander was still seated in his desk chair but it was turned towards the window. He knew Alexander had heard him come in as he approached from behind and laid his hands on top of the back of the chair.

“Eliza said I can attend the funeral.” Alex says to him. “They’re going to bury him at Trinity Church.”

“That’s good.” Thomas answered.

“He just wanted to make me proud, and I was already so proud of him. He was a little too much like me I think. The last thing I ever told him was how proud I was of him.” Alexander paused. “I never should have let him go.”

Thomas, fearing another round of hysterics, moved a hand to Alexander’s shoulder.

“But I suppose that's life isn’t it?” He could hear the lump in Alexander’s throat. “And as far as mine’s been going I just keep fucking it up.”

Alexander touched Thomas’s hand still on his shoulder and Thomas withdrew his touch suddenly scared.

Alexander gave a raspy inhale. “I still am sorry for what I did to you. As asinine as it sounds to be apologizing about an affair to another affair when I’ve hurt my wife, damaged my family and my son is dead, but I am. In the beginning I just needed to get what I wanted, I’ve always been able to do everything myself but I was afraid of you, stomping in after being away for so long and having all the power, I would have sold you my soul if it meant getting my debt plan. Sleeping to agree on a compromise seemed like such a simple thing, my wife would never have to know but I got addicted to it.”

Alexander shook his head. “I love Betsy, I always have and I’ve hurt her in a way I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive and she shouldn’t, I just…you were intelligent, you were cunning, we may have wildly different opinions on things but we matched wits. You have beliefs, you have ideas and drive and passion and i don’t know maybe I got bored with mediocrity. And I think the excitement of having something that no one else knew about, that was purely just mine made me spiral a little bit, and I started with Maria and everything just got out of control. I’ve said so many apologies to Eliza but I know none of it will ever be enough and thats good, I don’t deserve it. I’ve lost her and I’ve lost you, no one will take me seriously now, i’ve fucked everything up.”

But instead of crying Alexander takes another breath. “But I wanted to say I was sorry again, and this time I wanted to mean it. I’m sorry I hurt you, whatever we had, whatever we’ve been doing, I knew what was happening and I was afraid, I was afraid of my own feelings. God I’m such a mess, but I’m sorry.”

They both remained there in the silence for another few moments, Alexander said nothing else and Thomas was afraid of the things that he, himself might say if he opened his mouth and so he didn’t.

Finally Alexander broke the silence.

“I thought about marrying you.” A pause. “That’s what scared me. I was scared because I knew I loved you and I knew I didn’t deserve you, I don’t deserve Eliza either.” His voice broke. “It should have been me in the street, not him. I’d trade my life for his in a heartbeat. He died to defend my honor, when there isn’t anything honorable about me at all.”

Thomas finally moved his hand back down to the arm of the chair and took Alexander’s own, squeezing it tightly.

Thomas knew winning this year's presidential election wasn’t going to be easy. Addams hadn’t done many things to make him popular with the majority in his years as president and even he seemed to know that he wasn’t going to be due for a second term. And the public were wary of Thomas because of his time spent away in Paris and for his support of the french in their revolution, it wouldn’t have bothered him if he was running against Addams again, at least then he would know victory was a sure thing.

No, there was a third man in the running who might throw a killing blow into all of Thomas’s plans.

Aaron Burr.

Madison bless him had elected himself as Jefferson’s running coach during this time, giving advice, helping with speeches and reading the thoughts of the people every morning in the paper. He was sitting in an easy chair in Thomas’s parlor with the post strewn across his lap while Thomas reclined ungraciously in the chair across from him.

“Well?” The vice president asked.

“He’s very attractive in the North. New Yorkers like his chances.”

Thomas groaned.

“He doesn’t really have any concrete campaign ideas though. He’s indecisive, he switched parties to pull himself up a peg, he’s being very neutral on all his stances, Burr’s never been proactive.”

“He’s not taking any chances.” Madison remarked. “Playing it safe, but also stupid and thats when you’ll swoop in.”

“And they don’t like me just because of France.” Thomas grumbled.

James put the paper aside. “Thomas thats the problem, see they see Burr as a less extreme you.”

Thomas grunted.

“I didn’t want to suggest this before because I knew you might say no but we’re running out of time. You need an endorsement.”

“An endorsement?”

James nodded. “You need a federalist to vouch for you. Someone from our own party would of course praise your credibility but to really win the public over you need someone who wouldn’t normally be on our side to show them.”

Thomas frowned. “You talk like you already have someone else in mind.”

James pressed his fingers together nervously. “You aren’t going to like it.”

Later that evening Thomas Jefferson stood on the front stoop of Alexander’s townhouse. After the treasurer’s apology a few months ago Thomas had graciously donated him some money to buy a proper little place for himself so he could finally stop sleeping at his office. He considered it a well enough peace offering considering what they’d both been through and because of his showboating at Alexander’s downward spiral no matter how angry he’d been. Though they still weren’t like they used to be it was a nice little nod at their usual closeness.

Alexander opened the door and looked up in surprise. He was dressed down for bed with a candle holder in his hand.

“Thomas.” With his free hand he wrapped his robe a little tighter around him. “It’s late.”

“Can I come in, we need to talk about something.”

Alexander stepped aside without hesitation and Thomas walked through. He heard the closing of the door and turned around as Alexander put the candle down and walked past him down the dimly lit hall to his dining room.

“How are the children?” Thomas asked.

“Very well, Eliza wants to move them all back up to live with her father at his estate.” They reach the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No.” Thomas held up a hand. “This shouldn’t take long. I need to ask you for something.”

Alexander put the kettle back on the stove and turned to look at him.

“I need you to endorse me in the election.”

Alexander looked at the ground, but he didn’t say anything right away. Thomas was afraid of his no, he thought about reminding him how gracious Thomas had been all those years ago when he agreed to his compromise, when he helped him keep his job, got him this house, indulged his ideas while he’d been vice president. But he hadn’t done those things hoping to get some favor in the end, he’d done it because he loved him.

“That would go against….everything my party stands for.”

“I know, and thats why it has to be you, to show the people I’d be a much better candidate than Burr, to have both parties on my side. I know you’ve been barraged much more than anyone on who you’re voting for.”

“Burr would be very unhappy.”

“You and I both know him Alexander. He’ll say anything to anyone to get his way, he has no drive, no core beliefs, no ideas. He wouldn’t know what he was doing trying to run a country.”

Alexander smiled at the floor. “He came to me a few days ago. Asked me kind of the same question that you are, he wanted to secure my vote. I asked him what was in it for me.” He chuckled. “Bastard told me to wait and see and I told him I’d think about it.”

He finally looked at Thomas. “So I’ll ask you the same thing, if I endorse you what's in it for me?”

Thomas could make him vice president, though he already knew James would flourish in the job and with his and Alexander’s personalities both clashing he knew nothing important would ever get done, he could keep his job in the treasury but that was not likely to satisfy him if he truly wanted to move up. He’d been a war general for far too long also.”

“Anything.” Thomas said hesitantly.

Alexander raised an eyebrow. “Anything?”

Thomas swallowed and nodded. “I’ll…I’ll do anything if you endorse me Alexander.”

Alexander bit his lip and honestly it should be a crime for anyone to look so tempting. “Anything?”

“Name it and it will be yours.”

And Thomas was vain enough to call himself a genius as he and Alexander tumbled into Alex’s bed that night. Between the heated fervor of passionate kisses and the electric feel of skin against skin that made his heart sing just from how long it had been and how much he’d missed it. When Alexander had slicked himself up and shoved Thomas onto his back, when Thomas had finally gained the upper hand and pushed Alexander onto his stomach, it had been a kind of Heaven he’d longed for since the day the man had broken his heart, and now he felt the pieces falling back into place again.

Only tonight it was Thomas shuffling out of the bathroom after the hours spent defiling Alexander’s sheets. The treasurer had his glasses on and was writing something in bed as Thomas approached and slipped in beside him resting his head against Alexander’s shoulders.

“Did you mean what you said to me in your office? About wanting to marry me?”

“I did.” He answered without looking away from the paper.

“I thought you said this world was no place for dreamers.”

Alexander smiled. “What can I say? I’m in love.”

Thomas closed his eyes. “But what an inconvenient time to be in love.”

Alexander put the paper and the quill aside. “I’ve finally decided what you can give me in exchange for the endorsement.”

Thomas lifted his head to look him in the eye. “I thought we just..” But his voice trailed off when he saw Alexander’s coy smile. “I don’t like that.” He groaned. “Stop looking at me that way and spit it out.”

“Well.” Alexander settled down beside him. “I know you said it gets lonely in Monticello….”

Jefferson stared Aaron Burr down the entirety of Alexander’s speech. Burr wasn’t looking at him but he had this smug stupid little smile on his face the entire time that Alexander spoke and Thomas was just waiting for the moment it would crack and tumble.

“So in conclusion, if you were to ask me who I would promote.” Alexander paused and Thomas knew the entire room was holding its breath as Burr sat up a little straighter and Alexander met Thomas’s gaze.

“Jefferson has my vote.”

Alexander leaves once all the votes have been counted, declaring Thomas the victor and the next president of the United States but Burr stays around, approaches him with an outstretched hand to shake which Thomas eyes with disdain.

“Congratulations.” The man says putting his hands in his pockets. “Close race yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” Thomas sniffs. James who is standing beside him snickers.

Burr pursed his lips nervously. “Well I look forward to our partnership.”

Jefferson smirks. “Our partnership?”

“Uh yeah. As your vice president.”

And Thomas broke out into peals of laughter. This man had openly campaigned against him, and now was painting a smile on his face acting like he couldn’t wait for them to work together. Jefferson was on top of the world, he was the most powerful man in the country, and he planned to rub Burr’s nose in his victory, the thing always getting him into trouble over the years as he poked it where it didn’t belong.

“Burr I’ve got to set route for Virginia, get everything ready to move into the White House next year and all that, you’ll be at the inauguration next year?”

Burr nodded.

“Ta, ta then Burr thanks for the competition, I wish you well in your future endeavors.” He turned to leave. “Oh and Burr?”

“Hmm?”

He turns back to the man and places a hand on his shoulder, not being able to hide the large smile on his face for anything.

“When you see Hamilton, thank him for the endorsement, and tell him I said hi.”

It was a smooth rest of the year leading up to Thomas’s official swearing in as president. Alexander officially moved out of New York to Thomas’s Virginia home at Monticello. He cleaned up his ties with Congress, wrote a final letter to Eliza and his children and left no other trace of his absence, telling no one where he was leaving to. It was a rather stress free transition Thomas cleared space for him that used to be Martha’s, using one of her old sewing rooms as Alexander’s new office. He knew none of his staff would ever breathe a word to anyone. The moment he was in power he planned to have a marriage certificate delivered for the both of them to sign in secret. Because he was never letting the man go far from him again.

Though Alexander was no longer employed in Congress officially he had made himself Thomas’s unofficial editor in chief. After all he had no shortage of ideas, and with himself out of the spotlight Thomas was the outlet for them.

Thomas knew it was tough for him the first few months that Thomas resided at the White House. Alexander rarely left the countryside, writing Thomas letters day after day, their correspondences towards each other tender and dear. They switched from being apart to Thomas residing in Monticello with him or smuggling Alexander into the White House for a few weeks.

Not even James Madison, whom Thomas had elected as his vice president knew what they were up to.

Rumors spread as they were often to do but no one knew the truth, and if the two of them had their way. No one ever would. Thats the way they preferred it. Thomas knew as he climbed in beside Alexander in bed that night, a summer spent away from the Capitol. Alexander kissed the side of his face, the gold band on his left hand that no one would ever see but that meant as much to Thomas as his own hanging hidden around his neck day after day. Though it pained him to no end he knew that a secret such as theirs would have to remain just so.

Thats the way it must be. Until the day the world was a safer place for dreamers such as them.