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Izuku slammed the door shut behind him and leaned against it, panting. Extremely red.
Katsuki looked up from his book. “…What the fuck.”
Izuku started to speak, but just grew redder. After a few calming breaths, he hissed, “Kacchan. You will not believe what I just fucking walked in on.”
Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “Do fuckin’ tell.”
Izuku walked quickly over to the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of Katsuki. He held out a pinky.
“Promise not to tell anyone!” He whispered, face still glowing with a flustered blush but the red receding slowly. Katsuki rolled his eyes but linked his pinky with Izuku’s obligingly.
“Swear.”
Izuku, content with the binding oath, leaned back nodding. He took a deep breath, then promptly broke down into giggles. Katsuki groaned. Once Izuku started like this, it took ages to stop. Izuku fruitlessly tried to speak through his shaking laughter.
“So I was—hehehe—I walked to—and I saw—HAHA—and THEY WERE—pfft ahahahaha,” Izuku attempted. Katsuki shook his head, fond against his will. He went back to his book. This could take a while. Eventually, Izuku managed to string together enough words for Katsuki to get the gist of it. And what a gist it was.
“THEY WERE WHAT??”
Izuku nodded excitedly, helplessly breaking down in giggles again, hugging himself in a little ball and rolling back and forth on the bed.
“They were kissing!!” Izuku wheezed, tickled. Katsuki was momentarily distracted from the astonishing news by the sight of Izuku smiling and seeming to glow from simple happiness. But then he re-registered what Izuku had just said.
“You’re telling me….”
“Yep!”
“Cheeks? And Glasses?”
Izuku threw his head back in giddiness. “Yes! I saw!” He cried, elated. Katsuki couldn’t believe it.
“That bastard. So much for no fraternizing on school property.”
Izuku was laying on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. He turned his head against the sheets towards Kacchan sitting cross legged against the headboard next to him.
“Kacchan. What if they’ve been secretly dating for a really long time.” He gasped suddenly, as if scandalized. “What if they’re not dating at all?”
Katsuki laughed at that. “I fuckin’ doubt it. I think Four Eyes would burst a blood vessel.”
“At being friends with benefits with someone?”
“At being just fuckbuddies because he’d have to be lying.”
Izuku’s brow furrowed. Then he shot up into a sitting position suddenly. “Kacchan!” He near-screeched. “You knew he had feelings for Ochako??”
Katsuki huffed. “It was fuckin’ obvious, dork.”
Izuku looked hilariously affronted. “It was not! He is nothing but respectful!”
“Yeah, respectful with a straying freaking eye.”
Izuku’s eyes were wide with bafflement.
“How didn’t I notice??”
“Too busy watching me, probably. Ha. Gay.”
Izuku crossed his arms and huffed. “Unbelievable. I can’t believe you picked up on that,” he mumbled.
“Also, he told me.”
Izuku made a noise of outrage. “You—!”
Katsuki cackled. “He only told me because I asked, because I noticed.”
Izuku batted his eyes. “Aw, Kacchan. You care about our friends.”
Katsuki gave him a withering stare over his book. “I’ll kill you.”
“Then who will be your plus-one to Iida and Ochako’s wedding~” Izuku sing-songed, then gasped as his words caught up to him. “Kacchan! What if they get married?”
“Then you’ll be my plus-one.”
Izuku wasn’t listening. He muttered to himself. “Oh, and their hero colours look so good together. And their heights. Oh gosh, and their faces. Round and rectangular, that’s so cute. We can tie that into the wedding theme, I think. Would Ochako take the Ingenium name? No, that’s silly. Oh gosh, but she could. Oh that’s so cool. Wait I could try that. Imagine marrying into a hero family name—”
“Oi!” Katsuki snapped. He looked unreasonably pissed. “Enough with that shit. And the idiots aren’t even public with their relationship, for the love of All Might, do not introduce marriage topics to them yet. Glasses will have an aneurysm.” Katsuki paused. “Actually, that would be funny. Nevermind.”
Izuku plopped back down on the bed. “I’m just so happy for them.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re more excited than they are, I’m sure.”
Izuku giggled. “Maybe. Ochako’s had a crush on him for so long. Plus now she’ll never make me discuss Iida’s back muscles for hours again.” Izuku paused. “…or it’ll be worse. Damn.”
Katsuki set his book down on his lap and glared. “The fuck you mean, discuss his back muscles.”
Izuku looked up at him imploringly. “They’re really nice, Kacchan.”
Katsuki thought about it. He nodded after a minute, conceding. “Fine, I guess.”
Izuku brightened. “You can join us next time!”
“Fuck no. The fuck.”
It was worth a shot. Kacchan was still frowning at his book, almost pouting, and Izuku hid a smile.
“I think yours are nicer, Kacchan.”
Katsuki looked up too quickly, then back down to cover it up. “Yeah?”
Not quite. But that was objectively, and Izuku was famously biased. “Of course. Kacchan sugoi.”
Katsuki looked pleased. He was clearly trying to cover it up. “Tch. Obviously.”
Izuku was on a roll now. “And Kacchan’s arms are huge!” He beamed.
Katsuki was turning pink. “Alright, alright, we get it.”
“And his shoulders!”
“I said we get it!”
“And his—oof!” Katsuki had tackled him. He laughed. Katsuki sat up next to him, knees touching Izuku’s torso, before mischief passed behind his eyes and he leaned over, hands clawed and stealthily reaching over Izuku’s abdomen.
Izuku’s eyes widened. “Wait wait wait Kacchan NO—”
Too late. Katsuki attacked, digging in Izuku’s softest areas with wiggling fingers, relentless. Izuku was beside himself, shaking with laughter and wheezing as he was mercilessly tickled.
“Kacchan, Kacchan, I—HAHAHA—Kacchan!”
Katsuki didn’t ease up for a good minute, grinning wildly, finally gentling his assault. Izuku was panting, residual giggles coming up unbidden as he caught his breath.
“You—hahaha—asshole,” he gasped. Katsuki just looked at him with an unreadable expression, eyes soft. Izuku grinned back.
“So. Double dates?”
“…Die.”