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I never thought I would willingly work with another mage. Though, to be fair I did not know Hawke was a mage when I first approached her. It wasn't until she shot a fireball right beside me and I felt the searing heat of the magic brush against me that I knew. I cursed myself for not realizing it sooner.
I'd been so focused on catching Danarius before he left, that I had missed obvious signs. My distrust of her rose instantly, and once it was clear that the mansion was empty, I left, waiting outside to gather my thoughts. When I asked her what she wanted, she told me she didn't want anything, and I didn't believe her. But as the days and weeks passed, she showed no signs of malice... Save the one time I saw her cast a few stray sparks at Templar's backside. It scorched him and he flinched, but it didn't hurt him.
Hawke had grinned at me, and I glared back.
She was not cowed by anything I said or did. We disagreed on many things, but not once did she try to force her opinions on me. Strange, that I should start to have a grudging respect for her; a mage.
She would ask me to join her inane little quests to help ungrateful people with trivial tasks, and because I owed her, I went along. Until one day I found that I wanted to go along. Found myself waiting for the sound of her knocking on the mansion door, calling for me and telling me her latest scheme.
Today was one such day.
She knocked twice, loudly, and let herself in because I had told her I didn't particularly mind if she let herself in. She was talking before she'd even passed the foyer.
"Fenris, I need you!"
I got up and went to the top of the stairs, half expecting something to be wrong. "What is it?"
"I have a thing involving a dwarf, a deal for black powder, and Tal-Vashoth on the coast, and I need you. That is, if you're free."
If you're free.
She said it with such ease. It was ironic. I agreed to do this for her.
And it happened again. And again. Hawke would let herself in and announce herself by telling me she needed me. I started to look forward to it. Ridiculous that I should. That I wanted her to need me, but I did.
She always asked if I was free, as if I had anything to do without her, other than wait, and think.
Hawke was so free with her affection. Open and so honest. So many things I hadn't expected. Her friends were fiercely loyal to her, and the longer I knew her, the more I understood why, even to the point of warring with my own inner thoughts and long-held beliefs.
I would not turn in Anders, the mage abomination, despite everything in me that wanted to because he was Hawke's friend. I would not turn in the blood mage, for the same reason. I would run barefoot over the whole cursed coast in a blighted storm and six-inch-deep mud hunting Flint Company mercenaries... All because Hawke asked it of me.
Once again, I found myself running errands for a mage. Only, I couldn't bring myself to despise her for it. If anything, I was grateful. Because she asked if I was free. And because she said she needed me, which I doubted very much after seeing how capable the woman was. She was a force on her own. Besides, she had Varric, Isabella, Aveline and the others. She did not need me. She couldn't possibly. Yet, for reasons I didn't comprehend, she kept coming back, grinning while she laid out the plans of her newest venture.
All this so she could earn coin for an expedition... And yet, half the tasks she took upon herself, she was denied payment. It never dampened her enthusiasm.
No coin for the work she did for the dwarf, Jevaris.
No coin for the task she did for Athenril.
Nothing for the job she took on for the Magistrate.
No reward and so much work, and still she did it. I didn't understand her at all, most days, and found myself desperately wanting to. Foolishly wanting to. It was a dangerous thing, to want. To think I could be happy with someone. To even pretend I could...
But when she smiled at me, I fell right into the deep blue of her eyes, and when she asked if I was free... The answer was yes. I couldn't quite find it in myself to refuse when she asked me to come along. I didn't want to refuse.
As long as she would have me, I would follow her, foolishly hoping all the while that she would never stop needing me.