Work Text:
At the end of the day, it’s always Mark Lee who says something to properly ruin the trajectory of your life.
Donghyuck would know that all too well; has been the victim since practically kindergarten where he was signing an oath to be best friends with Mark for life in the simple activity of sharing toys on the playground. He doesn’t fault Mark for being brutally honest – it is one of the traits he loves most about his best friend but sometimes, just sometimes, it comes off as a kick to the stomach and Donghyuck doesn’t know how to recover from it.
The airport is hardly a dead spot. At any given hour of the day, there are always people bustling in and out of the gates with luggages and loved ones. Donghyuck stands before Mark and his medium-sized luggage filled to the brim with souvenirs and preloved snacks. They take one glance at each other and crash into each other in an embrace that has Donghyuck sighing into Mark’s arms.
“Call me when you land, alright?” he ruffles Mark’s hair in a spite of fondness which makes Mark scrunches up his nose in mock annoyance.
“Yeah, dad,” Mark rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. Then, he’s nudging Donghyuck. “Next time, tell me if I’m imposing. I didn’t even know you and Jeno were dating.”
That has Donghyuck pausing. “What do you mean?”
Mark chuckles, patting at Donghyuck’s back. “You and Jeno? It’s cool that you’re together but sometimes it got me tiptoeing around y’all, man. I’m good to just stay at a nearby airbnb or something.”
The words that leave Mark’s mouth just swirl around in Donghyuck’s head like gibberish and he blinks, stumped. “...Together?”
Now, Mark is frowning his brows together, looking as confused as Donghyuck feels. “Are you two …not dating?”
Something is crawling up Donghyuck’s throat and he is half convinced it is bile or last night’s dinner. “No?”
“Oh,” Mark says quietly, eyes widening in that typical Mark fashion where he realises he’s fucked up or said something royally fucked up. In this case, it’s both. Donghyuck feels his world tilting on its axis and he can’t seem to get up. He rubs at his nape awkwardly and if Donghyuck wasn’t too busy overanalysing what Mark has said, he would’ve teased him for it. “I thought… uh… y’know what? Nevermind.” Mark grabs the handle of his luggage and gives Donghyuck a side hug. “Thanks for everything, Hyuck. I’ll call you.”
Donghyuck barely gets a nod in before Mark turns around and walks over towards his gate like he hasn’t said the one thing that ruined his life.
He had been letting Mark stay at his shared apartment with Jeno since there is a sofa bed in the living room that’s for guests. Despite the fact that Donghyuck offered his room – it has ample space for another occupant –, Mark stubbornly stayed in the living room. As Donghyuck runs through the past two weeks of Mark staying, new details emerge such as Mark staying out of the kitchen where Donghyuck and Jeno were bickering over dinner plans, Mark and his awkward stance when Donghyuck and Jeno insisted on going out to watch a movie in theatres, and it goes on.
All of it, at the time at least, Donghyuck stalks it up to Mark being a tad shy around Jeno. After all, Mark didn’t stay after high school, he moved back to Canada with his folks and chose to attend college there. He is not overly familiar with Jeno despite all the anecdotes Donghyuck has shared with him over the years.
The conversation stays with him in the bus home. It’s still early, merely eight in the morning and he never had to wake up this early on a Saturday morning unless for an emergency meeting call. The restlessness lingers as he reaches his apartment, rocking on the heels of his feet. The thought of seeing Jeno in there, who is likely to have fallen asleep on the desk, gaming all night, is frankly scary.
Donghyuck makes a last-minute decision and boots it out of there. Damn Mark Lee.
After walking around the block for twenty minutes and getting a coffee to-go, Donghyuck heads back to his apartment and is subsequently greeted by a sight that he hadn’t prepared for.
“Oh, you’re home.” Jaemin says in lieu of a greeting. The casualness in his voice does something to Donghyuck and he tries his best to not let his composure slip as he puts on his house slippers. Jaemin seems to be in the middle of grading papers but he suddenly shuffles the stack of papers and puts it aside. He gazes at Donghyuck, seemingly contemplating something but it passes before Donghyuck can properly comprehend. “Are you hungry?”
It’s still early. Donghyuck hasn’t thought far ahead on his plans for the rest of the day. He figured he would come back to an empty apartment and lock himself in his bedroom to play games, he hadn’t prepared for the possibility of Jaemin being around.
“Maybe,” Donghyuck lingers awkwardly in the living room and takes a sip of his coffee. Uncertain, he passes a glance at Jeno’s closed bedroom door.
“Jeno went out with Chenle,” Jaemin answers the silent question in Donghyuck’s gaze.
“You didn’t uh… join them?”
Jaemin shrugs, capping his pen and placing it neatly atop the stack of papers. He gets up from the dining table and stretches, a strip of skin exposing beneath the hem of his t-shirt. Donghyuck stares for a split second before dragging his eyes away, his hands tingling with an indescribable ache.
“Not interested in skateboarding exactly,” Jaemin answers. “So, hungry?”
Donghyuck hides his smile behind the rim of his cup of coffee. “Are you going to make something?”
Jaemin tuts, walking over to Donghyuck, and grabs the cup of coffee from him. Donghyuck barely has time to react, eyes widening, as Jaemin sips from the cup, the features of his handsome face scrunching up in mild disgust.
“That’s too sweet.” Jaemin pushes the cup back to Donghyuck who takes it with an amused snort. “And, your fridge is empty. We have to go grocery shopping.”
Donghyuck bites down a retort and instead, he quirks a questioning brow, “ We? ”
Jaemin leans in, a ghost of smile playing on his lips. In these times, the beating heart trapped within Donghyuck’s ribcage stutters like a traitor and he holds his breath, averting his gaze to a spot beyond Jaemin’s broad shoulders. The scent of Jaemin’s aftershave mixed with the ever signature scent of fabric softener overwhelms all of Donghyuck’s senses.
“What do you want, Hyuck?”
It is a loaded question, even if all Jaemin is referring to is brunch. Coming from his lips, in a different reality, Donghyuck can dream of answering with the truth.
Instead, Donghyuck settles. “Kimchi jeon.”
Brunch was more than just kimchi jeon – Jaemin prepared enough food to feed a village, Donghyuck supposes Jeno can finish the leftovers later.
The trip to the grocery store had Donghyuck carrying more bags than anticipated and the entire drive back, he had to endure Jaemin’s lecture on eating better meals than microwaved rice and whatever can be found at the convenience store downstairs. Donghyuck only wishes Jeno was around to shut his boyfriend up.
But when Jaemin is on a tangent, he doesn’t stop. He is, unsettlingly, a good cook and Donghyuck is unable to deny it no matter how much he teases Jaemin in the kitchen. They got into a bit of scruffle and Jaemin had grumbled over the stove top, complaining but the tips of his ears reddened.
“Thanks for brunch,” Donghyuck automatically gets up and reaches for his plate to clear. As he passes Jaemin, he instinctively kisses Jaemin on the cheek – a habit he had picked up over the years and one that he likes teasing his friends with, but definitely not one he has done to Jaemin before.
The latter visibly stiffens the moment Donghyuck’s lips are lightly pressed to his cheek and Donghyuck recoils back, remembering all too late.
“Um,” Donghyuck says, staring at the reddening of Jaemin’s ears. He clenches his plate a little tighter and escapes to the kitchen, the abashment burning on his cheeks all the way down to his neck.
He puts the plate under the running tap and lets out a shuddering exhale. The sounds of metal scraping against plate can be heard from the dining table but Donghyuck tries to block it out. He barely mutters another word of gratitude before practically running off to his bedroom, tongue in a twist and heart hammering out of his chest.
Truth is, Donghyuck’s met Jaemin back in college with the rest; Jeno, Renjun and Chenle. Renjun was his roommate who introduced him to Chenle, who then introduced him to the pair sharing rent with him at a much too cramped apartment near campus, Jeno and Jaemin. Jisung only joined them in sophomore year, a ‘little duckling’ as Jaemin would’ve affectionately said, that he picked up during a photography module.
Somewhere in the midst of high-strung nerves and the pressure of meeting deadlines, they became a group of friends meeting at the coffee shop by the Faculty of Arts building nearly weekly.
Donghyuck barely enjoys coffee, only goes for sweetened frappucinos; something that Jaemin has taken upon himself to condemn every single time, along with any flaw that Donghyuck has on display whether it be his unruly dressing from a late night of studying or a simple hair strand out of place.
In the beginning, Donghyuck complained, at length, to Renjun, the man grating on his nerves every time he opened his mouth, but Renjun laughed and merely said: “If he brings it up, it means he cares enough about you.”
“Must he be so mean about it though?” Donghyuck had grumbled, rolling his eyes.
“You never back down from it and he takes it as a challenge,” Renjun shrugged. “It’s his convoluted way of telling you that he cares about you, Hyuck.” But something had sparkled in Renjun’s gaze – a warning or a spark of something he’s realised. He never shared with Donghyuck, however.
Donghyuck attempted to not let it get to his head (read: heart) too much.
When Jaemin and Jeno inevitably started dating and graduation happened, the first thing Donghyuck thought was that he had to find a new roommate but Jeno surprised them all, except Jaemin it seemed, by moving in with Donghyuck like nothing had changed.
I promised, Jeno had said so nonchalantly and it was something Donghyuck loved about him; his fierce loyalty. A selfish part, which is truthfully the larger part of him, wanted Jeno all to himself thus the decision satisfied him greatly.
Due to the nature of their relationship however, Donghyuck sees Jaemin far more than he wants to. It came with a lot of bickering, arguments and mean remarks – Jeno merely rolls his eyes at them and heads into his room after calling them childish (which Donghyuck has to admit partly).
But now, Donghyuck’s become too comfortable and the line reads more blurry than usual.
“Well, I don’t blame him for thinking so. Both of you do act a bit too comfortable with each other to be just friends.”
Renjun taps a few buttons on the coffee machine and turns around, finding a displeased looking Donghyuck staring at him. “What?” he continues nonchalantly, like he hasn’t dropped the second bomb in Donghyuck’s life. This is terrible. “Are you that surprised by it?”
Donghyun ends up at Renjun’s place, as one always does in a time of crisis. After a week of drowning himself in more marketing campaigns than he’d like normally, he’s back to his usual ways. He’s pacing around in the kitchen, disrupting Renjun’s usual morning routine which Donghyuck finds disturbing but the man is a functioning adult unlike Donghyuck who is breaking down on a Saturday morning over… feelings.
“You were supposed to say no, Hyuck. I do not think you and Jeno act like a couple, ” Donghyuck rebuts as he slams the counter dramatically. He’s told Renjun the 101 and yet, Renjun merely lifts an eyebrow at the tantrum and continues to make his coffee. “Besides, Jeno has a boyfriend. ”
A corner of Renjun’s mouth twists upwards and it’s not a pleasant expression, he looks like he’s contemplating on something. It causes Donghyuck to narrow his gaze at him. “What,” he stresses.
“I’m not sure if you want me to open that can of worms…”
“What is it .”
Renjun puts his mug down and turns to face him properly. His gaze softens and he leans forward to tuck a loose hair strand behind Donghyuck’s ear. In a gentle voice, he says, “I think you are a bit oblivious to how you act around them. Everyone can see that you’re a little in love with Jeno and Jaemin.”
Donghyuck stills.
The coffee machine makes a tinkling noise, signalling that the espresso is ready, and Renjun turns back to continue making his regular cup of coffee. All the while Donghyuck is internally breaking down. “It’s not the end of the world, Hyuck.”
“I live with Jeno,” Donghyuck says and his voice is suddenly hoarse. He thinks he’s feeling lightheaded actually. He needs to sit down. “And Jaemin practically lives there too.”
Renjun fixes him with a piercing look, “Have you really not known?”
Donghyuck doesn’t answer him, he steals the mug from Renjun and takes a sip of his overly sweetened coffee. The caffeine barely kicks in, he thinks of the awful black coffee that Jaemin makes on the daily and…
“I don’t know,” Donghyuck answers quietly, avoiding Renjun’s scrutinising gaze. “Do you have plans today?”
If Renjun notices his sudden swerve of conversation topic, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he shrugs, “What do you have in mind?”
“Can we…” Donghyuck glances at the living room that holds many memories of them lounging around. “Can we watch Gossip Girl and pig out?”
Renjun smiles brilliantly.
There was a graduation trip sometime after the aforementioned ceremony. Renjun planned it to be in Jeju in the peak of summer – he mentioned tangerine farms, sunny fields and the rare wind breeze tickling their hair. Donghyuck barely made it in time for the flight, the nerves overwhelming him and poisoning his mind to not go despite paying for the stupid safety deposit as Renjun had insisted on.
It was just after Donghyuck had a much terrible revelation – he likes Jeno. It came with a price, he didn’t know how normal he could act around Jeno when they inevitably live together and he contemplated on missing the trip to have time away to compose himself. Prepare himself.
But the thought of disappointing his friends weighed heavier than his stupid feelings.
On one of the summer nights, pavements lightly rained, they were all slightly tipsy in the middle of the living room of the airbnb Chenle had found. Jeno grabbed an empty soju bottle and placed it on the floor. Chenle rolled his eyes.
“Seriously?” Chenle said. “We are not in eighth grade anymore, Jeno.”
“Why not?” Jisung said, he had been leaning against Donghyuck the entire time and he was so warm that Donghyuck couldn’t shove him off. It was much nicer than he thought. “We could afford to have a throwback.”
“If you wanted to kiss any of us, just say so, Ji.”
It threw the entire room into laughter as Jisung reddened, pouting, retracting. Donghyuck reached for him and fondly kissed his temple, to which Jisung made a face but the reddening cheeks worsened. It was adorable, Donghyuck gave into his urge to squeeze his cheeks.
“C’mon,” Jeno said, reaching for the bottle to place it more accurately in the middle of their seating positions on the floor. “Jisung can start since he’s the only enthusiastic vote.”
“Oh, shut up!” Jisung replied but he did as Jeno said, spinning the bottle. It was a weak spin, barely turning a full 180 degrees before landing on Renjun.
Donghyuck took a light swig of his cup that held a pleasant concoction of cider and grape soju – one that Jaemin had mixed for all of them. The sweetness in the drink deceived Donghyuck further and he swayed into the alcohol, humming as it loosened his limbs. He watched Jisung’s reddening face as he leaned forward to peck sweetly on Renjun’s lips who had been waiting patiently without a single quip. The room erupted into cheers, Chenle slapping onto Jisung’s back.
The kiss had Renjun pinking just a bit and when his eyes met Donghyuck, he jolted as if not expecting the focused stare.
“Okay, Donghyuck, it’s your turn now.”
Donghyuck put his cup away and leaned forward to spin the bottle. It clanged against the floor during the spin, rough from Donghyuck’s actions. The anticipation was tense in everyone’s gazes fixated on the bottle. When it finally stopped, the mouth of the bottle decisively pointing at someone, silence spreaded across the room and Donghyuck flitted his gaze upwards to find one that he hadn’t expected.
Jaemin.
He wore an irritating, lopsided smirk and he looked the most sober out of them – his cup had been untouched mostly throughout the night. Donghyuck once recalled from another night, a different night in freshman year where they headed to the bar to celebrate the end of the semester, where Jaemin confessed casually that he disliked the taste of alcohol and furthermore, the lack of control.
“Kiss him, Hyuck.” Jaemin said softly, the curl of his smile infuriating Donghyuck. He cupped Jeno’s chin lightly and his smirk deepened. “Don’t you want it too baby?”
Jeno laughed, shoving Jaemin off but the blush on his cheeks was telling enough. Donghyuck bit the fruit of courage and crawled towards Jeno. The latter stared at him, a smile ever present on his lips.
“Are you okay?” Jeno asked, gentle as ever. He put his hands on Donghyuck’s shoulders, tugging him forward. The warmth filled him instantly and he sighed into Jeno, the comfort of him. This is his best friend, Donghyuck thought, this is his best friend.
And Donghyuck wanted to kiss him.
He crossed the distance, his breath ghosting over Jeno’s mouth. “Too late to back out now,” Donghyuck whispered.
“Wouldn’t want to,” Jeno replied, smiling and Donghyuck kissed that very smile away by crashing his lips onto Jeno’s. The world around them quietened the moment their lips touched.
The first thing that registered in Donghyuck’s mind was how soft Jeno’s mouth was, so pliant and soft, and when Donghyuck accidentally bit down on his bottom lip, Jeno gasped, lips parting to welcome him in. The taste of soju flooded his own mouth but Donghyuck focused on the sweetness of Jeno’s tongue. Jeno sucked lightly on his upper lip, pulling a deep moan out of Donghyuck’s throat.
Donghyuck pulled backwards, feeling like a whiplash hit him. Jeno still had his eyes closed, his lips stretched upwards in a smile, his swollen, pinked mouth. Jaemin was still there and he stared at Donghyuck, though not angered as Donghyuck might have thought, but inquisitive. His gaze bore holes into his and it was only Renjun’s voice cutting the tension in the air that had Donghyuck returning back to his seat next to Jisung.
The entire night, or perhaps, Donghyuck’s life had only descended from then. The revelation burned in the forefront of his mind and he thought, there was no going back.
There was only knowing. And living with that knowledge.
Renjun’s boyfriend, Yangyang, ended up coming over to disrupt Donghyuck’s peace. Furthermore, he threatened the peace by enlarging the ongoing crisis in Donghyuck’s head with more pointed questions. Donghyuck decided to leave with a subtle fuck you to Yangyang and a hug with Renjun.
Now, Donghyuck is stumped with the sight of Jeno cuddling with Jaemin in front of the television, watching a film that is quite foreign to him but he supposes it’s engaging enough for them.
“Hey, you’re home,” Jeno says brightly. Donghyuck drops his keys on the table, contemplating how weird it’d be if he just ran to his bedroom. “Join the cuddle pile?”
Donghyuck hesitates, staring at them. Jaemin gazes over his shoulder at him, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards, his thumb rubbing circles on Jeno’s arm. It’s definitely tempting and Donghyuck finds himself joining, Renjun’s words swirling around his head that make every step slow and unsure until Jaemin tugs on his shoulder and he’s falling right into Jeno’s lap.
“Fuck you, Jaem!” Donghyuck emerges from Jeno’s lap, cheeks reddening, and moves forward to swat at his face, arm or whatever. Instead, he lands a slap on Jaemin’s forearm that barely hurts him, only results in more laughter between the two.
He settles more comfortably against Jeno’s side but the latter won’t have it, pulling him further into his chest. The simple gesture has Donghyuck sighing, the faint sound of Jeno’s thudding heartbeat calming him down. He hooks a leg over Jeno’s and crawls to a more comfortable position for all three of them.
“Have you eaten?” Donghyuck finds himself asking. His gaze has refocused on the television screen and he realises belatedly that it is showing one of his favourite films, The Notebook. Donghyuck doesn’t wait for an answer, immediately turning to Jaemin, “I thought you hated the film?”
Jaemin smiles. “Which question do you want answered?”
Jeno rolls his eyes, cutting in. “We ordered pizza, it’s on the way.” Then, he glances briefly at Jaemin, an unreadable expression passes over his face. “Also, Jaemin insisted on the movie.”
It’s Donghyuck’s turn to laugh now, “Y-you were literally hating on every minute of it.” He points a finger at Jaemin, “Hypocrite!”
“It is still a very terrible movie,” Jaemin sniffs. His voice turns a tad softer, which surprises Donghyuck more than anything. “But it is also terribly sweet.”
But Donghyuck remains stubborn. “You’re still a hypocrite.”
Jeno cuts in again, “You two are terrible.” Donghyuck is startled and he pouts at Jeno, mocking a betrayed expression but the latter pats his cheek in return. “Both of you act like an old married couple, it’s sickening.”
Both of you do act a bit too comfortable with each other to be just friends.
I didn’t even know you and Jeno were dating.
“Like Hyuck and I can ever stand each other long enough to be married,” Jaemin’s voice pierces through Donghyuck’s thoughts.
“Yeah, I fucking hate you,” Donghyuck says with barely no bite, his head still spinning from Jeno’s words. Jaemin playfully winks at him that shouldn’t do anything to him, but alas.
“Baby, stop, you’re making it harder for me to ask him,” Jeno punches Jaemin’s arm which interestingly causes him to wince lightly.
A thought then occurs to Donghyuck that he is in the arms of two very, burly men and the fact is made known to him as Jeno gently lifts him from his chest, dragging his body to sit upright facing him. There is an odd expression on Jeno’s face, to which Donghyuck is incapable of deciphering and it stumps him for a moment. He’s known Jeno for so long that he has never entertained the idea of witnessing these new expressions – Jeno has become a well loved book in his library that he always reaches for.
Jaemin’s expression doesn’t bode well for his future too, he presses his lips into a thin line.
“Is someone dying?” Donghyuck tries to crack a joke but it lands flat as Jeno exchanges a look with Jaemin. “...Really?”
“No, idiot, no one is dying.” Jeno says, exasperatedly fond. “But you got us rethinking our decision.”
“Decision..?” Donghyuck looks at both of them.
Jeno takes his hand, cradles it softly, working through his fingers. During stressed times, Jeno would lean on Donghyuck, whether it be his side or his back, until he caves in and embraces him – that is when Jeno will grab his hand, playing with his fingers, as his mind works around to find a cohesive thought.
“Jaemin and I have been wondering…” Jeno has averted his gaze fully to Donghyuck’s hand. “We’ve been thinking.. Really, we’ve been discussing.. Um.”
“Jeno and I want to try a relationship with you.”
Donghyuck pauses, gaze flicking to Jaemin’s like a snapshot. He searches for mirth on his face but Jaemin’s features, for the first, are void of any traces of amusement. His eyes are sparkling with hope and when Donghyuck turns to Jeno, he sees the same hope mirrored in his eyes.
He almost laughs out loud, if he wasn’t so confused. They’ve always been one half of the other, each other’s mirror to their soul. Which makes their question further perplexing – where does Donghyuck fit in all of that?
“You’re pulling my leg right now,” Donghyuck says, laughing, he almost wants to cry. “Why would you want that?”
“Hyuck,” Donghyuck can’t look at them. “Hey, hey. Sweetheart.” Jeno’s soft voice has Donghyuck glancing up and there, it sticks. He still has Donghyyuck’s hand in his, only now they’re intertwined and he’s stuck. “Jaemin isn’t kidding. We want to. I want to.”
“No, no. Did Renjun put you up to this?”
Confusion strikes Jaemin’s face. “Why would Renjun–”
Jeno interrupts him, “Why is it so hard for you to believe us?”
The look on Jeno’s face is of despair, the hope is slipping, but the perplexity of the situation has Donghyuck stammering. In disbelief.
“Because, what? Why would you want that? The two of you are so perfect together, what the fuck am I meant to b–” Donghyuck inhales sharply and flashes a desperate, glistening gaze at them. “Why me?”
Jaemin reaches out to gently cup his cheek, catching a tear astray. “Jeno has loved you for far longer than he’s known.” He shrugs, chuckling. “I’ve only caught up recently.”
“Jeno?”
“Yes.” Jeno laughs despite himself, and Donghyuck stares, sick with the ache congesting him. “I’ve always wanted to be around you, Hyuck. I only learnt from Jaemin that it’s less simple than friendship.”
“If you feel any differently, it is fine,” Jaemin says but he has an eyebrow quirked, his entire face shrouded in fondness. For him. The same face that Donghyuck has only seen reserved for Jeno but is now reflecting back at him. “But I have a feeling that you feel the same.”
Donghyuck’s heart beats like a goddamn fool, and it’s all he has ever known.
Donghyuck leans forward, a corner of his mouth twitching. “How would you know?”