Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Screamed The 350-year-old slightly balding "young" elevator man. Took his keyboard and threw it at the wall. The dent shook the wall of his spacious but full of random crap room. He screamed like a banshee that had just lost all will to live.  and he very nearly had.  Stories that captivated his otherworldly genius mind were few and far between and being a hopeless romantic he loved a good ship..... which made him a little too invested in the story. "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?",  He screamed to his white walls. They said nothing as they were walls and not people.  He grabbed his anteater plushy (half his size which is very impressive considering his girth) and yelled at the poor thing as he choked it out. "HOW COULD THAT IDIOT OF A GAME DEVELOPER DO THIS TO ME????"
"No," He calmed himself a little after wringing his only irl friend's neck, "No, it can't end like this. Hector lives......In some universe, some reality, they must be together living happily with a kid. Or maybe also a dog. I just have to find him."
He smiled a cunning  smile, licked his chapped lips that had never known the love of a female elevator being and
began
His
Reckless
Passionate
And Highly Illegal
Search for his OTP.

Chapter Text

NOW our reader may be wondering who is this weirdo? Well he is LazySenpai3000. But Why does a 350 year old otherworldly genius of a discord mod want to ship two people from an insignificant unheard of game made by a writer whose internet persona looks like a 2010s middle schoolers emo fursona without the fur? WELL I will tell you!

But first let me explain about the universe elevator.
The Universe elevator is neither a universe nor an elevator. It is an ecosystem separate from all worlds and dimensions. The inhabitants of this world are always much smarter that us human mortals. BUT that intelligence makes them bored quite easily. As they just keep on living and stuff to do normally doesn't come around that often. People from the worlds as they say rarely come to the elevator. So they like to watch them through their bio computers. There is quite a following from different subcultures. Our somewhat nefarious hero is part of the subculture that watches so much of the universes they get bored with the mainstream and start watching more obscure and obscure types of universes. Lazysenpai3000 is no exception.
But marvelous and merciful fanfic writer, you ask, what is that title about soulmates have to do with any of this?

Well well well! I shall tell you.
In each universe there exists a copy of each person in every other universe (unless it is a salad universe a.k.a. a universe that's connected to other universes tossed together like a salad in a bowl.) These people usually are doing other things or look a little different or have a slightly different name. Because they are slightly different they often make different decisions and as a result their chances of who they end up with in life changes on the regular.

So much so that in all the universes, of which the number is finite but growing each day for a reason which I will explain later, there is usually a 40 percent chance you will end up with the same person......given that no funny business happens between the universe elevator and your world OR another world in your universal salad bowl. 55 percent is more rare but still not terrible. 60 of 75 percent is really pretty rare. 89 is legendary and since there are no 100% if you get to 99% you are given an honorary otp soul mate percentage.

There is an official way of checking soulmate percentages everyone in the elevator is given access to, for entertainment reasons mostly so naturally this shipper goes to the site to check it out.
The soulmate calculator is slow. it takes about a day to fully calculate all the current universes. But after a while he sees a 50% percentage.
Whew! He was thrilled to see at least a 50% percentage. This was better than zero at least.

He quickly set his plan in motion.

First he made a rudimentary teleporting device. Through this he gained the power to always control both where he came into a world and where he was at any given time in the world. Just if used too much in a short amount of time it made him dizzy. Then using his skills learned from that he made a universe hopping device. But his device was so elementary he couldn't even go back to the universe we was just at. He could however watch what played out in the world he just messed with. It was problematic but the oversized discord mod looking elevator man didn't care.

He was impatient
He was going to see his ship come to pass come hell or high water.

So it began.
He put on his universe hopping glasses.
Closed his eyes,
And
The first universe showed itself.

Chapter Text

In an age of chivalry and jousts, there was once a fairly young elf maiden named Alagossa, a training apothecary who lives with her adoring dad. He's taught her everything she knows. Unfortunately they don’t always see eye to eye.
“But Father!” She whines, “Everyone knows I’m the best Apothecary in the land!”
“I know!” Belligosso was Alagossa’s parent, and talked as he was mashing an herb with increasing aggression. The poor herb was definitely feeling his frustration. “But I just can’t allow you to go through that kind of scrutiny, a woman as a head apothecary? Alone?? Imagine the social whispering you’d have to endure!”
“Well if you’d let me marry someone-you could let the two of us take over after you're gone!"
The overbearing father stopped mashing and gave an exasperated sigh. Looked at his elven albino daughter and declared. "Anyone who can pluck an herb could take over this place but ONLY the very best will marry my daughter!" He went back to smooshing the fresh herb with increased intensity.
Unfortunately, Alagossa knew it was useless arguing with her helicopter dad. So she put on her cloak with a huff and went to the nearby forest to get mushrooms.
While she was deep into the forest thought she heard a loud moan.
"URRRRRRRRg," she looked around a tree group suspiciously and gasped. A wounded knight was at the foot of it! "Are you the thing that’s kills me now?" He groaned as blood dribbled from his cut lips.
"NO!" She spoke first loudly worried then quietly as the person started babbling incoherently. “We can get you healed.” She instinctively started tending to his wounds and eventually put his arm around her shoulders trying to get him away from there.
Meanwhile her dad was thinking how hard he’d been on her. “I’ll apologize with some thymne cookies! That will be sure to smooth things over.” While he was happily taking the cookies out of the oven he heard his daughter open the back door and stumble in. Proudly walking to the backroom with the cookies he said “Ala goosie! I got you some-” cookies followed gravity’s call and hit the floor when his eyes graced the unknown knight’s helmet. “Who-what? Who is that?????”
“I don’t know! I found him in the woods bleeding out.” Alagossa took the john doe to the examining bed as her sputtering father looked on, “I couldn’t just leave him there!”
“But but but,” Beligossa stuttered “Your cookies-” he breathed forlornly a single tear heading down to his chin. As he stared at the now crumbled cookies. Then he turned around and got some cold water for their fated guest.
Their unknown patient was asleep for days, until……
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was a good young man, Sir Hector. Even before he was a Sir he Always did what he should. He went to a crusade because he was asked to by the old land owning knight in his area. he worked hard and even tho that old knight died in the wars Hector didn't die there. Having returned from the crusades he longed to see his friends, family and his childhood sweetheart. When he got home he was quite shocked and depressed to find that the maiden he had loved since childhood was already married. Unlike his war buddy Lower Prince Meldrives who got to marry Annette, the lady he had been pining for in their war torn landscape, while he should have been happy for his brother in arms he really couldn’t be. The hurt was just to fresh of what his chilhood beauty had done to him. He decided to take a ride through the woods surrounding Prince Meldrives’s Uncle’s Estate. On the eve of what should have been an auspicious day. Unfortunately he was sadly riding through the forest right now mostly lost and unable to find his way back for the stag do that night. Suddenly when rounding a corner he was attacked by an arrow in his right arm. The shock sent him reeling from his horse he grabbed his sword and made himself ready. A VERY large wild woodsman came out of the woods and attacked him and made him unable to move. His horse was spooked and ran away and he was left for dead. Bleeding out on the forest floor. As he faded in and out of consciousness, he saw a white haired figure come into his view as he saw her shockingly almost red eyes he groaned, “Are you the thing that kills me now?” and that was all he remembered before he lost consciousness.
He woke up with a old woman’s head on his bed. The head was connected to a body thankfully “Where am I?” he breathed painfully. Suddenly her head woke up startled and they both screamed. “Who are you?” Hector yelled, Belligoso ran through the door with a knife,
“Whats going on!?” He exclaimed, “are you ok Ala-”
“I’m FINE! GET OUT OF HERE FATHER-” Alagossa yelled. Belligossa was so shocked he dropped the knife and while he did back up just stood there.
Alagossa turned to the also shocked knight and said “do you remember your name?“
“Sir Hector of the Blackford . How long have I been asleep?”
“A fortnight or so”
“D**** it! I missed his wedding!”
“Whose wedding?” Sir Hector tried to get up then winced and slowly was made to lie back down by his white haired nurse. During this time he realized she was not an old woman but in fact just looked about his age.
“You’re an albino,” He wondered looking deeply into her red eyes and surveying her halo of white hair.
“Yes” she said looking up into his striking deep blue eyes, “I am an albino, and you’re still hurt”
“All this time I thought you were an old woman”
“Nope, still a very young woman.” she turned to get some salve for his bi-daily salveing, ”Does it really matter?”
“I suppose not,” he said thoughtfully. Although something had changed. Now that he was again sentient he now was awkward when she removed his shirt to get salve on his wound. in some ways he wished she would have been an old lady. But in some ways he was……happy? Why would I be happy to be waited on by an albino girl? I mean not that there's anything wrong with albinos. Albinos are fine. I suppose.” As He looked at her head of white hair in front of his face suddenly she looked up, rather than the soft moment the reader and Lazysenpai3000 was expecting: her forehead hit his nose.
“Ouch!” she exclaimed as he grabbed his now bleeding nose, “Gasp, Ill get some towels” she left the room to get another towel.
Now Belligoso was scared of a lot of things in life, bears, poisoned beet stew, otherworldly creatures from the moon who may decide to kidnap him, or worse, his daughter, stuff that ranges from kinda stupid to ‘eh’ may have a point there’ to ‘why would you be thinking of this at all?’ But one thing he was afraid of even more than all those three things was societal pressure from those above him. He had worked hard and long to become the best apothecary in the area but still…. a knight? in his house? What if he took this ol dad’s baby (Alagossa: obviously not a baby) away from him? Now THAT was what he feared more than a thousand grumpy belligerent kings with a toothache. But he wasn't stupid. He saw the sparks between this upstart knight and his daughter. The knight could probably claim her as his own if he wanted. Oh how to keep them apart. While he was having these thoughts he was just staring daggers into Hector, the intrusively healing warrior. Then an opportunity presented itself, “My good physician, could I send a message to the prince? I missed his wedding. He’s probably worried sick” Hector said politely.
“Oh! Of course any way I can help I would love to.” Belligoso bowed and went to get writing stuff. He knew he would be able to get rid of this knight overmorrow if he could get the letter out as soon as possible. So then Hector would be out of their white hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In less than overmorrow a procession of nobel looking people came to the door of Belligoso’s pharmacy. Hector was surprised they got there that fast. Also somewhat disappointed. He had been enjoying his time with the girl. Who he found delightful to be waited upon. Allgossa thought he was very brave (maybe a little too brave as he kept on trying to get up and help her with things) at least from the stories he told. But he is also someone who wouldn’t lie to her. But right when he was getting to the most funny part of his story and her a little too happy father waltzed through the door interrupting her and his time together. “The prince is here!” Right behind him prince Meldrives and a slew of other people from the troupe came into the small room. The prince was tall, blond and handsome. He looked like a war hero and gave his war comrade a hug right away that made Hector wince in pain.
“I’m sorry I missed the wedding” Hector said sadly.
“OH I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT” the Prince shouted. “I’m just happy we found you!”
“Yeah” then a tallish girl or maybe it was just her ridiculous red hat with bells on it that made it seem so. Was rolling her eyes and said, “He sobbed like a baby when he found you were missing almost didn’t go on with the wedding”
Now Princess Annet chimed in,”But we had to because of the schedule of the priest,”
The red hatted girl grumbled, ”Stupid priest” the purple haired soldier next to her firmly nudged her uttering,
”Ara be a little more-”
Ara playfully hit the poor soldier mimicking him: “ARa Be A liTtLe mOre- WE WOULD HAVE FOUND HIM SOONER IF IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN FOR THAT PRIEST.”
The Prince smiled and rolled his eyes at Ara and Keskin (the purple haired soldier). “Then turned to the Alagossa and started to thank her. “You don’t know how much I want to- OH you’re albino!”
Ara chimed in “So? You think her hair and eye color matters right now?”
Prince Meldrives looked at Ara, “Well I only saw her briefly when I walked in, I thought she was your mother?” he directed this thought at Belligosso. Alagossa’s father smiled.
“She does look a lot like her at least when she was alive and young. Alagossa was cute little girl too, and she grew up to be one of the best apothecaries in the area even better than me, she is very good at tending to people even. I’m sure sir Hector has no complaints about his care,”
Hector couldn’t say anything because he had learned not too when Beligosso was on a roll talking about his only daughter. Alagossa on the other hand was just getting about as red as her eyes.
Belligossa ranted on, “She really is the best in the area and I remember when she first wanted to go out with me to get mushrooms. She practically begged me. She took it very well tho. Smarter than my apprentice at the time. and-”
“Well. regardless, when can we take Hector to his estate?” The Prince interrupted and Beligosso was silenced
Beligosso turned to Alagossa, ”Oh probably very soon. Alagossa dear please tell them.”
Alagossa looked up from her feet that were suddenly very interesting for the past few minutes “ Oh uh, “ She glanced at Hector who looked half amused, half second handedly embarrassed and half dazed. “It- would be very difficult to move him all the way to his um estate because he needs at least a full month of bed rest. And it’s late fall so the frost may come before that and then it shall be incredibly difficult to move him.”
Beligossos face, a visage code visible only to Hector and Alagossa, fell. He really shouldn’t have hyped her up that much now that he couldn’t discredit her medical analysis but he couldn’t really help it.
“Ah well then we must make him as comfortable as we can for the next 3 to 5 months, And we’ll visit as often as we can Hector but you may be alone for the two terrible months jan and february. Maybe I’ll send you some picture books or something.” Prince Meldrives smiled. Alagossa laughed, “ oh we have plenty of books here he can-” she stopped once she noticed Sir. Hectors sheepish face. Hector blushed and glanced at Alagossa before looking at Prince Meldrives with a look that said Don't embarrass me in front of the pretty girl.
““What?” Alygossa raised her white eyebrows. “I dont understand.”
.
Alagossa said “I supposed our reference books would be quite boring indeed for a nobel knight.” Everyone was quiet. Hector looked as bright red as Ara’s hat. Lady Annet spoke after clearing her thoat. Hector spoke quietly in almost a mumble,
“I um, can’t read”
Alygossa Shocked-like reponded with the very articulate, “well um I um.”
Belligosso sensing the awkwardness ushered everyone including Alagossa into the shop area for some cookies he has made. With left Hector Alone with his thoughts.
Grabbing his head he winced in the pain of the situation of seeing the girl he fancied think so little of him.Sir. Hector wanted to die. He wished the bed would just swallow him up. It seemed very homey and fitting for such a moment. Also the idea of a living bed seemed familiar to him.
MEANWHILE
“These cookies are the best, my humble apothecary!” the prince tried to change the subject. But Alagossa was having none of it.
“What do you mean Sir. Hector can't read? Like at all at all?”
Softly Lady Annette pulled her aside and told her the truth. “Hector is not a knight who was born into royalty. He was just a foot soldier who was noticed for his talent in fighting. The Prince promised him if he arrived home he could have his son less and now dead Lords lands. While many comrads died he survived. But all that time he barely learned his own name in writing. So no he doesn’t know how to read."