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Yejun stared at Bonggu, watching the pink-haired young man laugh. The skin around his eyes wrinkled as his lips spread across his face, displaying a perfect set of white teeth. The faint blush on his cheeks were very visible, making his small face more adorable in Yejun’s eyes.
Bonggu’s voice was like music in his ears, on a par with his favorite song that he would never get tired of listening to as soon as he wakes up or before he sleeps. The voice that would never fail to make Yejun’s lips involuntarily form a sweet smile and make his heart flutter.
Yejun breathed deeply and slowly exhaled as he gently pushed himself together with his chair, making a soft screeching noise as it slid on the floor. “I’ll buy us drinks,” he said, calling everyone’s attention.
Everyone — except Bonggu, who was busy watching something on Noah’s phone — lifted their heads and gave Yejun a nod. Yejun gave Bonggu a glance, waiting for the latter to spare him a glance even for a split second but Bonggu’s eyes remained reflecting the light from the phone.
Without the need to ask what drink each of them prefers, Yejun turned on his heel, quietly leaving the room and went straight to the nearest convenience store. Instead of entering the store as soon as he reached it, he sat on the side, feeling the cold breeze kiss bare face. With his eyes closed, he enjoyed how it gently pierced through his skin that sends chills in his body.
Even though the winter breeze’s hug pierce painfully in his skin, Yejun paid no attention because Bonggu's warmest hug was even more painful than this.
“I didn’t,” Yejun mumbled, he swallowed before meeting Bonggu’s eyes. “I never did.”
Inside his jacket’s pocket, his hand curling into fist with his jaw clenched. He tried his best to suppress the tears from welling up his eyes nor his eyes to look away from Bonggu’s or he would be caught lying. He looked at Bonggu who was smiling at him.
“Glad to hear that,” he replied and sneered. “I was worried for nothing. I guess this was it, then.”
Yejun nodded his head then forced a smile. He was so used to forcing a smile that it started to look as though it was a genuine one, that the people around him never thought that something was wrong.
Well, who would have thought that it would be easy to tell Bonggu that he never felt the same way towards him? Who would have thought that a simple “I didn’t” would make Bonggu believe that Yejun never liked him back?
Yejun spent months figuring out his feelings and yet it took him only a couple of minutes to deny it in front of Bonggu.
“Here,” Yejun said, placing the drinks on the table, making a soft thud as he sat on the floor across Bonggu whose head was resting on Noah’s lap.
Bonggu quickly glanced at Yejun before diverting his eyes back to his phone. “Thanks,” he mumbled. He brushed his head on Noah’s stomach, pouting as he met Noah’s gaze with his puppy eyes. “Can you get mine?”
Noah who was looking down at him softly chuckled, ruffling Bonggu’s soft hair. “Yes baby,” he replied and reached for Bonggu’s drink which Yejun handed him.
Bonggu smiled and took the bottle from Noah. “Thank you.” Noah hummed in response to Bonggu, bending down a bit to plant kiss on Bonggu’s lips.
“Oh lovebirds, get a room,” Eunho complained, covering his eyes with disgust visible on his face. “A little bit of respect to the people around you won’t hurt, I promise.”
Noah chuckled, Bonggu tucking out his tongue in front of Eunho and rolled his eyes while Yejun was silently watching them. Bonggu didn’t change, he was still the sweetest and clingy person Yejun knew. Even before, Bonggu was as clingy as this to Yejun where he would ask for kisses from Yejun or even cuddles and being sweet.
Well, for Yejun, Bonggu’s a friend so planting a kiss on Bonggu’s cheeks or forehead and even on his nose would be fine. And even cuddling for minutes with his friend wasn’t wrong either. It was like what Noah and Bonggu have now, but the only difference was even how much Yejun wanted to kiss Bonggu on his lips, he could only smile and ruffle Bonggu’s hair, pulling him into a hug after.
And he knows that a kiss on Bonggu’s lips would only mess things up between them.
“It’s just a kiss, though?” Bonggu blurted out. Hamin immediately nodded his head in agreement. “Also, Hamin and I were just friends. You and Hamin can go cuddle with each other and I will only think that’s because you guys are best friends.”
“Well, that’s still weird,” Yejun commented, sitting on the couch across the two.
“Not for us,” Bonggu replied.
Yejun still found it weird until he didn’t. He was looking for the warmth of Bonggu’s hugs or the softness of Bonggu’s skin against his lips. How could friends enjoy this? And even how much he was weirded out by this, he still got used to it.
“I don’t know. After I saw you under the rain with your umbrella from across the road, I realized that I liked seeing you waiting for me,” Bonggu said, burying his cheek in his hands which were resting at the top of the table. “I felt happy seeing you there, waiting for me and I felt special for some reason.”
Yejun remained silent, even though he knows where this is going, he couldn’t help but be surprised to hear this coming from Bonggu. That he should have trusted his gut feelings from before about Bonggu having feelings for him, again.
“At that moment, I realized, I really like you,” Bonggu said and smiled at himself. A few minutes of silence enveloped them, Bonggu was looking at his shoes while Yejun was looking somewhere — lost in his thoughts. “If you wouldn’t mind, I want to know how you feel about it.”
Hearing those words, Yejun does not know how to feel. He was confused if he was happy to hear that or he would be worried. For the past months, he was confused if what he was feeling towards Bonggu was just something he will feel for a friend or was he seeing Bonggu more than just a best friend? The unexplainable feeling of jealousy whenever Bonggu was with anyone but him or when Bonggu smiles at others. The feeling of wanting Bonggu to have him just for himself, not wanting to share him with others that if keeping Bonggu would be the only option, he would gladly do it.
And Yejun thought it was just because he loved his best friend so much.
“May I think about it for a while?”
Yejun watched as Bonggu intertwined his little finger on Noah’s before he intertwined their fingers together, holding them tightly as he pulled it closer to his lips and planted a kiss at the back of Noah’s hand. He then smiled at Eunho and spoke, “if Noah didn’t tell me he likes me, I would have given up.”
Noah laughed, pressing Bonggu’s hand. “I was afraid that someone would snatch you away from me if I didn’t act fast,” Noah replied. “That friend of yours was a threat to me. And Eunho as well.”
Bonggu laughed, Yejun lifting his gaze to them before his eyes locked on the floor again. He remained silent all throughout their hangout, speaking a few words when asked or when he would ask them. It wasn’t unusual for his friends, so they didn’t pay much attention to it. Originally, there’s only Hamin and Bonggu in Yejun’s circle of friends until Noah started dating Bonggu. So, he joined the circle with his friend Eunho, who had a crush on Bonggu before.
“How did I even become a threat? I just had a small crush on him, just that but I wasn’t planning to make a move,” Eunho defended himself which the lovers found funny.
“So, you mean, both of you had a crush on Bonggu?” Hamin butted in, the three of them nodded in response. “There’s no way.”
Hearing that didn’t surprise Yejun anymore, his gut feelings were so accurate that he was able to feel it ever since before Eunho confessed to Bonggu. He even treated Eunho as a threat, but he was focused on Noah after knowing that Bonggu has a small crush on Noah. But he only thought that it was because he loves Bonggu as a friend and he was afraid that he’ll lose him again.
As for Noah treating Bonggu’s friend as a threat, he wasn’t aware that the friend in question that Bonggu likes before was Yejun.
“I like you,” Noah said, scratching the back of his head. “I wasn’t planning on telling you for the mean time, but I felt like I needed to or someone will make a first move and I’ll regret it.” He tried not meeting Bonggu’s eyes, but still he met them just to prove that he was telling the truth. “I honestly hate it when you’re talking about you, liking that friend of yours. I hate how much your eyes sparkle whenever you mention him. I don’t know him or his name or whatever, I just know that I don’t like the idea of him being around you. I feel jealous whenever you talk about him with Eunho.”
Bonggu was confused, he was just daydreaming about Noah liking him back but hey, here it is, Noah’s just a bit tipsy but he spits everything he could think of. Bonggu wondered if Noah was being serious right now and he kind of wishes that he was not because how can Bonggu process everything?
“No, don’t look at me like that, I wanted to kiss you,” Noah mumbled, burying his face in his hands and stayed like that for a couple of minutes before he removed his hands and pulled Bonggu in a tight hug, snuggling his face on the crook of the pink-haired's neck. “Let’s just stay like this for a minute as I control myself from kissing you.”
Well, maybe Bonggu’s mind was just hazy but what’s wrong about Noah kissing him? Even though he promised Yejun that he’ll wait for his response...
While on the other hand, juggling everything, Yejun still tried to make time to thoroughly think about his response. He was busy having a lot in his plate right now that he didn’t notice how fast things went by and knowing how much responsibility he has now, he informed Bonggu that he wanted to focus on his personal life for a while and Bonggu said that he will wait.
Yejun was trying his best; he knows deep inside that he likes Bonggu but what he was afraid of was that he won’t be enough for Bonggu. That the feeling he was feeling was not the same as what Bonggu had for him. He knows Bonggu deserves someone who would love him more than he does, that Bonggu deserves someone who would be willing to spare time for him, something Yejun knows he cannot do.
Besides, the first time Bonggu liked Yejun, things didn’t go well with them, causing them to drift apart and now for the second time around, Yejun wanted to have Bonggu for the rest of his life and remaining as friends would save them from falling apart. He wanted to protect both Bonggu and Hamin from the pain of losing friends.
But just when he realized that keeping his true feelings from Bonggu was like lying to him, Bonggu broke his promise of waiting for Yejun’s response. When Yejun was already planning on telling Bonggu that he likes him too and he’s willing to take a risk, Bonggu told him about his crush — Noah — confessing to him and things might work out between them.
There was no certainty about it that time, things might or might not work for them, there was even a time that Noah and Bonggu stopped talking for a while. The topic about Yejun’s response was brought up when Hamin and Bonggu were drinking. Bonggu was demanding a ‘closure’, he needed to hear Yejun’s response.
‘Why does he still need to hear that?’ Yejun thought to himself.
If he says that he feels the same way towards Bonggu, then what will happen to him and Noah then? Things might go well between them, and Yejun has no plans of ruining it even though how much it hurts him knowing that things between Noah and Bonggu might work out. But if he was still waiting for Yejun’s response then how come Noah came into the picture?
Yejun bitterly smiled at himself before he ruffled Bonggu’s hair and said, “we’re friends and if we’ll be more than it, we’ll be best friends, then.” He choked the sob that was going to escape his lips. “Now, don’t worry about anything else and focus on Noah.”
“Well then, thanks to that friend of mine then, if not because of him, you wouldn’t confess first,” Bonggu commented and chuckled before glancing at Yejun who sneered.
Noah should really be thankful of Yejun, if not because of Yejun’s full support, Bonggu had also given up. Behind every initiative Bonggu had done, there was Yejun who was pushing him to do it. Whenever Bonggu was hesitant to send Noah a message, there’s Yejun who will tell him that how will they talk if Bonggu won’t message him?
And even how Yejun was ready to risk it all for Bonggu, he set aside his feelings and made way for Noah. Yejun was happy to hear Noah say that he was afraid someone might take Bonggu away from him if he wouldn’t act quickly, something Yejun failed to do so. Yet still, he was happy he failed to do that part because seeing Bonggu being happy in Noah’s arms was the best thing he could ever see.
“I wonder how Yejun would love someone,” Bonggu asked, he was teasing Yejun who never been in a relationship. “How would you show that you love someone, Yej?”
Yejun chuckled with the question he found funny after hearing from Bonggu. “Hm, make sure that he’ll always be happy.”
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